09x03 - A Step at a Time/ Angelica's Assistant

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Rugrats". Aired: August 11, 1991 - August 1, 2004.*
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`Rugrats' reveals the world from a baby's point of view where it's bigger, more mysterious and uncontrollable.
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09x03 - A Step at a Time/ Angelica's Assistant

Post by bunniefuu »

[ whirring]

[ snoring]

Whoa!

[ whirring]

[ kids laughing]

[ dog barks]

[ giggles]

[ whirring]

[ squeals]

[ roaring]

[ footsteps pounding]

[ laughing]

Hi, guys.

What are you doing
with Reptar?

CHUCKIE:
This isn't Reptar, Tommy.

It's "Follow me
Reptar."

My daddy says
it'll give us extracise.

[ robotic voice]:
Move your body,
move your feet.

Exercise is really neat.

Follow me.

Now, stretch.

What's wrong,
Tommy?

I want Dilly
to play, too.

[ giggling]

Uh, Tommy,
in case you've forgotten,

Dil's not a walking baby.

Yeah, he's more of
a poopy-diapy baby.

Takes one to show one,
Phillip.

Um... guys,
we could help him play.

[ robotic voice]:
Follow me.

[ roaring]

[ grunting]

[ straining]

What's wrong, Chuckie?

Ow, pulling Dil's
making my arm sleepy.

It's okay, Chuckie.

If it's too hard,

I guess Dil could
just watch.

KIMI:Hey...
let's get Dilly to walk.

I don't know.

He's kind of little
to be walking.

Dil, you want to walk
like us big babies?

[ gurgling and laughing]

CHAS:
"Follow me Reptar" was
on the "Ten Best Toys" list

in Active Child
magazine.

Don't you think
the kids'll end up

just following every
giant lizard they see?

Oh, that's ridic...

[ phone ringing]

I hope not.

[ phone ringing]

Pickles' residence.

Oh, hi, Deed.

Stu, could you check the fridge?

I think we need cheese.

Sure, Deed.

I'll be... Dil's walking.

Huh?

Walking?!

[ screaming excitedly]

DIDI:
Stu!

BETTY:
Whoa, whoa, Stuey.

Where's the fire?

No fire--
video camera!

Got to get camera!

Making Dil walk
is hard work.

Yeah, getting extracise
was easier.

Maybe there's
a other game for Dil.

Dil could play

"Follow Me Sluggy."

That's a easy game.

"Eat Me Sluggy" is even easier.

[ screaming]

[ groaning]

[ camera beeping]

[ moaning]

Holy moly! Didi?

Huh?

At least your Daddy's
getting extracise.

Didi, you should have seen it--
Dil walked!

Oh, Stu,

Dil can barely crawl.

It'll be months before he...

It sounds crazy,
but I saw with my own eyes.

I swear-- Dil's walking!

STU:
Didi?

Hello?

[ tires screeching]

So maybe I missed
Dil's first step,

but his next is going
to be captured

through the miracle
of videotape!

Stu, I don't know what
you think you saw,

but your squirt's not going
to walk for another year.

We'll see.

Someone get Dil.

I'm not moving.

What if you have to go
to the little boys' room?

Uh, hmm...

ANGELICA:
This looks
like fun.

[ yawning]

Okay.

I know it's going
to be dumb and boring

and I know I'm going to be
sorry I asked, but...

what's going on?

We were getting
extracise,

but Tommy felt bad

because Dil was
left out.

'Cause he can't walk.

[ blowing bubbles]

Dil could walk if
he wasn't so little.

Huh!

I was smaller than that
poopy-pants pip-squeak

when I started walking.

Well, Angelica wasn't
much older than Dil

when she took her first step.

Horse hockey.

If a baby
could walk at that age,

they'd put him
in a sideshow.

Well, Angelica's
always been
very advanced.

I remember it as if
it were yesterday.

We were having one of our
Mommy-and-Angel special days.

What?

CHARLOTTE:
My Angelica loved me so much

she climbed out of her stroller
and walked to Mommy!

[ crunching]

[ screaming]

Ah... a cookie just
tastes better

when it's
someone else's.

So if we get Dil a cookie,
he'll walk, too?

Exactly.

Now, who's got a cookie?

I've still got some carrots
from my snack.

I wouldn't walk
for carrots.

I wouldn't do nothing
for carrots!

Like shorty's going to
know the difference.

Dil knows a lots
of stuff, Angelica.

Yeah, yeah.

Yucky baby want
yummy cookie?

Walk, baby.

Walk for cookie.

[ blows raspberry]

Oh.

Hmm... smarter than he looks.

STU:
I've attached the camera to
the garage door's electric eye.

Now we put Dil on the X,
and the second he stands,

the camera comes on
automatically.

Yeah, and when
he moves off the X,

you still got
a boffo sh*t
of the carpet.

Ah, no tyke
walks that young.

Phil and Lil were close, but you
got to figure they got an edge.

You know how twins are,
helping each other all the way.

PHIL:
I walked first,
because Lil

was trying to stick
her finger in my nose.

LIL:
No, you didn't,
Phillip!

And I gots
my own nose.

I walked first so you'd
stop pushing on me.

You were pushing
on me, Lillian!

BETTY:
Phil, Lil!

Ah, look at you!

Well, I'll be
a monkey's uncle!

You're helping each other
to walk, aww...

How about a big hug
for Mommy, too?

[ chuckling]

But Dil don't got a twin sister.

I could be his pretend
baby twin sister.

Hi, Dil.

I'm your twin sister.

That means I'm just like you...

[ whispering]:
except betterer.

I hearded that.

Oh, looks like
I'm going to walk now.

Better hurry, Dil.

You don't want
your twin sister

to walk
before you do...

like I walked
before Phillip!

[ laughing]

Don't you even want
to fight about it, huh?

Dillip?

What about you,
Chuckie?

Maybe Dil could walk

like you did
the firstest time.

Oh... I don't know.

It was pretty scary.

Chuckie didn't walk
the first time-- he ran--

all because he wanted
an ice cream.

It was a Sunday, and Chuckie
and I were out on the lawn.

This ice-cream truck
came down our street

and when Chuckie heard it
coming, he got all excited.

I remember there was
this cute, funny clown

on the top of the truck.

CHUCKIE:
You should have seen
that clown!

He was super-scary,
and he came right to my house.

I didn't know how to walk,
but I didn't care.

I got up and runned!

[ gasps]

Chuckie, you're walking!

Quite fast.

Do you want
an ice cream?

Is that what you want?

Hey, stop!

Okay, big boy.

One ice-cream cone
with an extra...

Big, scary clown!
You think we should scare Dil?

KIMI:
It's not
very nice.

Of course it's not--
let's do it.

Look, you guys,

Dilly's not going to walk
until he's good and ready

and not because you
give him a cookie

or a twin sister.

And I'm not going to let you

ascare my bestest brother!

Happy.
[ camera whirring]

Okay, the camera's set

to follow any warm object that's
picked up by the motion sensors.

So if you have to move,
move very, very slowly.

I'll go get
our little movie star.

DIDI:Stu...
[ beeping]

Where's Dil?

Did I miss it?

Whoa!

No!

[ screaming]

[ crashing]

I just feel so silly getting
carried away like that.

Dil isn't going to walk
for months.

[ giggling happily]

But I saw...

I thought.

You thought our boy
was special, Stu,

and he is.

He's just not ready
to walk.

Hey, Tommy, you never told us
what made you walk.

Hmm, let me see.

I remember you came over
with your daddy,

and you was already walking.

I wanted to play with you
real bad,

but it was hard, because
you was moving around.

So I got up and...

and I guess you're
what made me walk, Chuckie.

Really?

Wow!

And we've been the bestest
of friends ever since.

I bet you if Dil
had a friend like you,

he'd want to walk
just like I did!

CHAS:
Chuckie...

Kimi, we're going.

[ rattle rattling]

[ cooing]

[ straining]

[ straining]

Don't worry about
walking, Dil.

You walk whenever
you want to.

[ giggling]

I can play
right down here.

[ both giggling]

[ cell phone ringing]

Get here, Jonathan, I'm swamped!

Working at home and watching the
babies isn't easy for me either,

but I offered
in a moment of weakness.

And Angelica will love
to help you with the babies.

Listen up, diaper heads!

While I'm gone, you can't
touch anything, look at anything

or think about touching
or looking at anything,

especially my new Cynthia yacht!

Why not, Angelica?

You got to ask?

Because you're dumb babies!

CHARLOTTE:
Angelica!

[ swallowing]

Who I love very, very much.

If I find you being mean
to the babies again,

your dream yacht is sailing
right back to the toy store.

[ knocking at door]

One colossal low-fat,
no-foam cappuccino!

I said non-fat,
foam-foam frapuccino!

Remember, be nice
to the babies

just like
you usually are.

Nice... to the babies?

Sure, Angelica,

it's easy!

Watch, we'll say something
nice about you

like, uh, like...
uh... hmm...

Uh... Angelica...

I got nothing.

I know!

She gots nice ponytails.

Good one, Kimi!

Now, you say something
nice about us, Angelica.

You... are... you...

Time for school,
Angelica.

Thank you, thank you.

[ ringing]

Charlotte Pickles' office.

It's the boss.

CHARLOTTE:
Angelica, I forgot to mention

you have a play date today

with a boy who has very
well-connected parents.

Really? Who? Who?

CHARLOTTE:
Harold Rumkin--
have a great day!

[ school bell ringing]

[ kids laughing]

[ shouts]:
Hi, Angelica!

Isn't it great
about our play date?

Zipper it.

Hi, guys,
what's going on?

Hi, Susie--
I'm real excited, 'cause...

He's never had a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich before.

Right, Harold?

[ mumbling]

All right, class, it's
"What's My Favorite Thing?" day.

Circle up!

You better not tell
nobody nothing.

Let's begin with Susie.

My favorite thing is flowers,
art, music, dancing

and the Dewey decimal system.

Oh, the Dewey!

Oh, it's inspiring, Susie.

Clark?

Fire trucks--
they're fast and loud.

[ Clark imitating siren]

Thank you, Clark, thank you.

Stop.

Okay.

Harold?

I like cheese, and, uh...
oh, and shoes...

but I think my favorite thing's

going to be my play date today
with Angelica!

[ kids laugh]

Tomorrow, you can
tell us all about it.

[ scoffs]

[ slurping]

This is going to be the bestest
supery-dupery day ever!

Who's your happiful friend,
Angelica?

He's not my friend;
he's my... Harold.

Wow! I never been
anyone's Harold before.

So what are we going
to do first, Angelica?

I know, let's play...

Aah!Ooh!

[ growling]

[ giggling]

"Spill the Juice on Angelica!"

I love this game!

Wow, you're good, Harold.

And he's handsome, too.
Snack time, kids!

[ phone ringing]

Charlotte Pickles.

Uh-huh.

Let me get my assistant.

Jonathan, phone!

Angelica?

Mommy and Jonathan
are very busy,

so because you're
my big girl,

you get to
help the babies
with their snacks.

Help the babies andbe nice?

I can't do it!

She's your grandmother--
you fire her!

Jonathan, you're
my assistant.

You do things for me

so I can do the
important things.

Oh, which reminds me,

it's power yoga
time.

An assistant does stuff
you don't want to do?

Hmm...

Harold...

it's your lucky day!

You're going to be
my assistant.

Wow! My first job!

Well stop lolly-popping around
and get to work.

Finish feeding
the babies!

I'm going to catch up on
important stuff,

like playing with
my dream yacht.

These snacks
don't look very snacky.

Well...
let's go shopping!

[ babies slurping, munching]

He's handsome

andhe cooks.

[ gasping]

Harold!

What did you do?

Made snacks.

I saved you some-- here.

[ grunting]

[ gasping]

[ giggling]

Again! Again!

[ to self]:
It's just one day--
be nice to babies.

Must keep yacht.

[ gasping]

Young lady... your dream yacht's
starting to sink.

You're going to help me
clean up this mess.

Meanwhile, everyone
can play in your room.

My room?

But they'll wreck all my toys!

It's important
you learn how to share.

I'm sure the babies
will play nicely.

I'm bouncing on Angelica's bed!
I'm bouncing on Angelica's bed!

Don't you babies know nothing?

I'm the boss!

[ growling]

[ toys squeaking]

Play with everything,
Harold, quick!

We're never going to get
this chance again!

[ slurping]

I'm on my juice break.

[ cracking]

[ moaning]

[ gasping]
Just checking
on the babies,

but I see they're having
a marvelous time.

Put all your toys away
when they're done,

would you, Angel?

Okay, Harold,

I'm going to go relax
on my dream yacht,

and when I come back,

everything better be
put away and fixed, or else!

[ door slams]

Or else what?

She never says.

Anybody remember
where this stuff goes?

[ toys squeaking]

HAROLD:
Hey...

look at this.

My room, it's back!

Why do you have a picture of
Clark with hearts all over it?
It, uh, came that way.

Give me it!

Hey, this stuff doesn't go here.

Where did you put the stuff
that was here before?

Probably in the closet.

We puts a lots of stuffs
in there.

See?

[ giggling]

Oh, good,
you're sharing
all your toys.

I'll be on a
conference call,
sweetheart,

so you keep them happy
a little longer?

Okay, Mommy,
I'll sing, I'll dance,

I'll do whatever it takes

to make my most favoritest
babies happy.

Just make some stupid faces

and then you better clean
my room up right.

I gots people lined up outside

just waiting to get
your job!

Gee, if I lose my job,
I... won't have a job.

Uh... Angelica said
she'd sing and dance for you.

Would you like that?

Well, we seen Angelica
sing and dance, so...

no.

How about if you do it?

[ xylophone playing]

♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪

♪ Derrily, derrily,
derrily, derrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream.

Everybody!

[ holding notes]:
♪ Life is but a dream!

[ gasping]

I can fix it!

[ gasping]

My yacht.

My yacht!

You broke
my yacht!

[ clicking]

You're the worst assistant
I ever had!

And as for
the rest of you,

you're just
a bunch of...

I'm sure you're
being nice to
those babies, Angelica.

Um, I think you were about
to call us "dumb babies"?

I know-- I can't be
mean to you.

But Harold can.

Harold, yell
at the babies

and call them names!

But I like the babies.

I can't do that.

Do it or we'll never have
a play date again.

Okay...

I'll start with
the yelling part.

[ screaming]

BABIES:
Yeah, Harold,
way to go!

Now, what names do you
want me to call you?

Um...

"Tommy's" good.

I always wanted
to be called "Bob."

That does it!
You're fired!

That's not the way you do it.

Watch and learn.

You're stinky, smelly,
truly poopy, shorty,

hardly-any-teeth
babies!

Keep out
of my room!

Don't eat
my cookies!

And never touch my
Cynthia dream yacht again!

They won't,

because it's going
back to the toy store,

and you're going
to "time out"

for a very
long time.

Sorry, Harold.

You'll find
another job.

Yeah, you're
youngly.

Asides, you still gots
preschool to finish.

[ school bell ringing]

So, Angelica,
how'd your play date

with you new bestest
friend, Harold, end up?

He's not my
bestest friend!

Hi, bestest friend,
Angelica!

Our mommies are
friends now,

so when you're done
with all your time outs,

we're going to have
lots of play dates.

Keep dreaming,
snack boy.

Look, there's
Clark!

Hey, Clark,
Angelica has a...

Play date with you tomorrow

if you never tell Clark
our little secret.

Deal.Ow!

Isn't she great?
She's my best friend.

Do you hear me, world?!

Angelica is my best friend!

[ laughing]

HAROLD:
♪ Life is but a dream...

Everybody!
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