07x19 - Blank Eyed Girl

Episode transcripts for the show, "Adventure Time". Aired: April 5, 2010 - September 3, 2018.*
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Twelve- year-old Finn battles evil in the Land of Ooo.
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07x19 - Blank Eyed Girl

Post by bunniefuu »

Welcome back
to "graveyard shift."

I'm your host... Starchy.

You know what today is,
everybody?

It's our
fifth-anniversary show.

So many things have happened
in that time.

I switched
from drinking rainwater

to eating distilled ice chips.

I took up rock climbing.

My wife left me.

And all-new conspiracies.

I firmly believe

that all chocolate has been
secretly replaced by mud.

And why is the burrito man
giving away free burritos?

He's an amateur mad scientist

trying to genetically change us
into tortillas.

- Mm.
- Dude, come on.

When was the last time
you sharpened your pencils? Hm?

Never. They're pens
painted to look like pencils.

Conspiracy!

Okay, the board is lighting up.

We're going to a caller.

You are on the air, caller.

I'm a banana guard.

Oh. That's a good job
to have.

Yeah,
it's pretty good.

Why do they have it tuned
to this every time we're here?

I call baloney!

Shh! I'm trying to listen
to the frightened caller.

So, I think I might have seen
something not from this world.

Go ahead, caller.

It happened
last Sunday.

I was doing my laundry
at the mat,

when I saw a reflection
of a girl with eerie blank eyes!

I turned around,
but nobody was there.

It was scary.

Yeah, weird girls
with soulless blank eyes...

They've been spotted
around multiple kingdoms

across the centuries.

Nobody knows what they are.

But I have a few theories.

They're ghosts, and the last
thing they looked at in life

was so horrific,
it made their eyes turn blank.

Pbbbbbht! Baloney!

The pizza.

Pbbbbbbbbbbbbht!

Take the rest to go.

My second theory...

Okay, all boxed up
and ready to go.

200 bucks.

By other blank-eyed girls
touching their eyeballs.

Blblblblbl! Spooky!

Ooh, look at me!

I'm listening to
a dumb nonsense radio show!

How can you be
so dismissive

after some of the stuff
we've seen?

You got to draw the line
somewhere.

Starchy's my line.

They're walking fish

that just happen to look like
little girls.

Baloney!

Don't touch my radio!

It's dark.

You're sure that blank-eyed
girls are made up, right?

Yeah, man,
it's all baloney.

Jake?

Jake?

Uh...

Blank-eyed girl?

- Boo!
- Aaaaaah!

Boo!

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- Is this creeping you out?
- Is this creeping you out?

Aah! Aah!

- Can I hold your hand?
- Can I hold your hand?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Aaah!

That was stupid.

Yeah... stupid.

Are you messing with me?

Unh-unh.
You're messing with me.

Must be someone else.

Yeah,
like... Ice King, maybe.

Aaah! Aaah!

Who was that?

Maybe it was nobody.

Courage, courage.

What's wrong with me?

That could be a normal
little girl who needs help.

No!

Aaah! Aaah!

There!
Blank-eyed girl!

She's too creepy,
man!

I know! I know!

But I got an idea.

Welcome, next caller.

Hello, Starchy? Am I on?

Yeah, you're on.

Longtime listener,
first-time caller.

We got the wonderful
Finn the human on the phone.

Go ahead, Finn.

Starchy, I'm in a blank-eyed
girl situation right now.

What should I do?

I'm going upstairs
to get a better look.

All right, stay calm.
You called the right guy.

The question is,
why did she choose you?

Are these visits
random events?

Jake.
Aaah!

Finn, have you invited
the blank-eyed girl inside?

No. Why?

Because I believe the girls
have to follow vampire rules.

As long as you don't invite her
in, you should be fine.

Okay.
Let me write this down.

Oop.

Starchy?
She invited herself in.

Uh... Run.

Starchy, she's staring
right at us!

Oh! I got it...
Fairy rules.

Try offering her
some cream in saucer.

That should appease
the blank-eyed girl's hunger

and send her away.

Gotcha.

- Jake, go get the cream.
- What?!

No! You go!
This is your deal!

Just go!

Okay! Geez!

Thank you.

Okay... cream.

Euggggghh.

Aaah!

- Ewww!
- Starchy?

Mm. Didn't work, huh?

Must be a haint, then.

Try playing the clarinet.
Haints hate the clarinet.

I think it's working!
Keep playing!

Uh...

Jake, stop!

Starchy, I think
they like the clarinet music!

Also,
there's six of them now!

Jeepers! Really?

Uh... O-okay.

Now I definitely know
what you're dealing with...

An undead.

The undead fear the gaze
of the common yard chicken.

Our chicken ran away,
though.

Are you sure
we need the feathers?

My chicken's
pretty spot-on.

We don't want to take
any chances, you know?

Hm.

Hey!

All this advice
is just made-up baloney!

Starchy, all your advice
is made-up baloney!

Aww.

Well, what are we supposed to
do? Just live with this?

No more
relying on hearsay.

We're gonna
take it to the source.

Secondary source.

Girl stuff, boy stuff,
ear stuff, butt stuff.

Hey! Creepy stuff!

Got it.

Aah! Aah!

Shh.

Library's closed.

Turtle princess!

Did you dye your hair?

Oh, yeah, I did.

Do you like it?

Yeah... hotness.

Say, do you know anything
about creepy blank-eyed girls?

No, but I can find out.

"Creepy blank-eyed girls."

Oh!

Says here
they're an urban legend

that first appeared
five years ago.

- They're supposedly...
- Wait... five years ago?

That's... that's just like
Starchy's radio show.

Maybe they're tulpas!

What the blob
is a tulpa?

Physical manifestations of
concentrated collective thought.

They're entities
who depend on the energy

of people believing in them
in order to exist...

People like
Starchy's listeners.

Okay.

And where did you learn
all this blobbity-Bob?

Starchy's radio show.

I think I know
what we need to do.

Thanks turtle p.

Any time, finny.

Why don't we call, like,
child services?

Or an exterminator?

This is gonna work.
Just trust me, a'ight?

Ugh.

Do as I do.

Boy, I just love
walking through

our delightfully not-creepy
doorway.

- Don't you, Jake?
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Aaaaaaaah!

Walking through
the not-creepy air

to my not-creepy couch,
sitting on my not-creepy butt.

Your butt is kinda creepy.

I say "creepy"
is just another label we use

to distance ourselves from stuff
we don't understand...

Or that reminds
us of something in ourselves

That we're
not comfortable with.

Hm.

I mean, it just ain't
an actual thing, you know?

Unless you choose
to believe it.

Right, Jake?

It's baloney! It's baloney!
It's Starchy's baloney!

I just got to think
of something wholesome.

Aaah!

Aaaah!

NOoooo!!

Pizza's creepy now!

You win, all right?!

You're mad-creepy!

Do what you will,
you globless blank-eyed girls!

Uh...

What?

What the butt fuzz?!

Contact lenses?!

Ha! Baloney.

Nothing but some kids
playing a dumb prank!

Man. This whole time,
they were just regular girls.

Where are your parents,
huh?

You guys are going to jail!
You hear?

So, y'all are bald.

Good job.

I'm still calling the cops.

What the junk
was that?

I think it was...

Beautiful.

♪♪

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪

FREDERATOR

This party is so crazy!

♪♪
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