01x04 - Bad Kimi

[bunniefuu]

If this project doesn't
get your juices flowing...

nothing will.

Get it?

Grapefruit?

Juices?

Is this thing on?

Making grapefruit
batteries?

There's a skill
I'll use.

Never.

[ slurping]

[ buzzing]

[ gasps]

That guy Z is

a visit to
the school nurse

just waiting
to happen.

What kind of name is "Z,"
anyway?

A bad-boy name.

[ humming]

Mayday.

Mayday.
Grapefruit overload.

Hit the deck before it...

Ooh!

I got to talk faster.

GIRL:
Four, three, two, one!

[ rock music playing]

♪ Every birthday,
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ "You're another year older,
another year wiser" ♪

♪ But I still go to school

♪ To get an education

♪ I treat each and every day

♪ Like a mini vacation

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up!

♪ I want the world to know

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up

♪ With you

♪ All grown up with...

♪ you.

[ school bell ringing]

TEACHER:
Grapefruit shrapnel.

Been there.

Off to the nurse,
Chuck.

Oh.

Kimi?

I trust you can defuse
the expl*sive Mr. Z--

your new
partner.

[ gasps]

I can stay.

Who needs to breathe?

Out, Mr. Finster.

Citric acid is not a toy.

ANGELICA:
Come on, Suse.

I really need someone
to cover for me.

Think of all the times
I've helped you.

Hmm.

That didn't take long.

Good luck.

What's wrong, Angelica?

Besides you eating?

Tonight, I'm part of
a fashion show

launching a new store
at the mall--

"Bangles, Barrettes
and Berets."

Oh, my!

And you're upset

because the mall doesn't need

another accessories store.

No.

I have an "Ask Angelica"
live on-line chat

at exactly the same time.

Do you know what will happen
to my advice-dependent fans

if I'm not there?

They won't get the advice
they depend on?

Right!

And then they might
go whine--

uh, spill
their hearts out--

to someone else.

Then I won't be needed.

Do you know what it's like
to be needed

by the masses,
Harold?

Okay, dumb question.

So who could cover for me

and give brilliant advice
on such short notice?

Someone you trust.

Someone you've known since,
say, preschool...

whose name starts with "H."

And the last possible
human being left?

Thank you, thank you,
thank you!

Wow, we finished!

It works.

And no one had to duck.

TEACHER:Hmm.
Well done.

"Well done"?

Way wonk.

I've never even gotten
a "done" before.

Don't know why--

you're totally
smart.

[ school bell rings]

Whoa...

Fruitage in
the follicle.

[ gasps]

No!

Ah!

Are you all right?

[ screams]

Uh...

Eh...

Uh... catch you.

[ sighs with disgust]

Wonk.

Seriously, Chuckie,
he's cool.

He's into underground,
nouveau, retro,

fusion music
like I am.

Since when?

That's bad-boy
music.

Since he played it for me
at lunch.

Would you chill?

Oh, and he turned me on
to this freakizoid book

about people
with extra digits.

Look.

He marches to the b*at of
a different drummer is all.

Like me.

Yeah, but your drummer's
very nice,

and his is all...

[ drumming maniacally]

He's bad news,
Kimi!

You should stay away
from him!

Too late.

We're doing the arcade.

Was that Kimi...
with Z?

Since when are
they friends?

Since Z purposefully
blew up a grapefruit,

lodging a piece in my nose
and setting in motion

his evil plan to corrupt
an innocent girl!

Chuckie, I'm sure
this Z guy can't be

as bad
as everyone says.

Yeah, there's no way
he spent years
in prison.

The guy's only, like, .

Here's how it works.

If an answer takes more
than a minute of thinking,

just say, "Dig deep
inside yourself

and look around at
all the stuff in there."

Works for almost anything.

Ready?

COMPUTER:
She's Angelica!

ANGELICA:
Ooh!

New message.

"My mom and stepmom
both want to host

"my birthday party.

What do I do?"

Signed, "Torn in Two."

Duh!

Cash in twice,
of course.

That solves
their party problem?

What do I care?

I'm not invited.

CHUCKIE:
And he's got spiky
green hair and chains,

and... and...

boots!

Now, Chuck,
like I always say,

don't judge a book
by its cover.

Growing up,
people looked at me

and thought I was a big geek.

Now when I see someone different

I don't see weird hair
or funny clothes.

I see their goodness
and inner light.

[ screams]

Betty!

Lock the safe!

Just take what's in the register
and let Kimi go.

Ha, ha.

Everybody, meet
my new friend, Z.

S'up.

HAROLD:
Thanks for helping me
my first time, Susie.

[ exhales wearily]

"My mom thinks platform shoes
are too mature.

How can I look taller?"

Signed, "Short but Sweet."

"Dig deep inside
to get taller"?

Uh, give short stuff
some real advice, H.

Stuff your shoes with toilet
paper to make homemade lifts!

You go, H. man.

HAROLD:
Give your boyfriend with
new braces yogurt as a gift.

He and his raw, chafed gums will
appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Dear "Popular
Yet Unfulfilled"...

Dear "Scared of Tree"...

Dear "Dandruff Dan"...

CHAS:
So... is, uh, Z short
for something?

Uh, "Zack"?

"Zebidia"?

Uh, "Zeus"?

Nope.

Just Z.

Oh.

H-How do you spell it?

[ cell phone rings]

I got to take this.

Oh, no.

I, uh... dropped
that thing.

Isn't Z so rock star?

Does that mean
"hoodlum"?

Dad, what happened

to "Don't judge a book
by its cover"?

Well, it's different now,

because the book is hanging
around with my daughter!

Chill, Dad.

I'm going to make Z and me
some smoothies.

Aw, don't
sweat it, Chasy.

Every girl likes
at least one bad boy.

The excitement, the drama.

But then they marry
a Howie--

who cooks
and does laundry.

No.

We need the truck
for the job.

I can't keep that stuff
stashed forever.

I'll be right over.

[ screams]

Oh, uh...

Uh...

[ whistles]

Oh. Hey, Z.

I, uh... sometimes
come here to think.

[ whistles]

I got to zoom.

My, uh... mom wants me.

I know moms...

and that was no mom.

We got to do something about
this Z guy and do it now!

He's bad.

Bad.

You guys have got to help me
bring him down

before she gets in real trouble.

Okay, let's do it.

I brought the camera
like you asked,

and my macro-wide-angle
telephoto lenses.

Oh, and my fish eye,
just in case.

Ditto.

Only mine's a spy kit.

I'm sorry, Chuckie,

but it's not right

to inv*de
people's privacy.

DIL:
Don't worry.

I'm an expert.

We're going to take down Z.

Unless his big, bad self
takes us down first.

HAROLD [ thinking]:
Stuff your shoes with toilet
paper to make homemade lifts.

HAROLD [ thinking]:
Give your boyfriend with
new braces yogurt as a gift.

ANGELICA:
Ta-da!

I am Queen Accessoria.

I ruled.

Me too!

I found my destiny, Angelica.

Can I give advice
a little longer?

Please?

Hello.

I'm back.

But I'm really good
at this.

Let's remember
one thing:

I give the advice.

So here's some
for you:

get a new destiny.

[ both grunting]

But thanks.

You know what,
Harold?

You helped
a lot of people
last night.

So now, how about
I help you.

ANNOUNCER [ on P.A.]:
Just a reminder-- tomorrow is
English appreciation day.

Appreciate accordingly.

Gracias.

Z's at the lockers,
guys.

Uh...

I mean, subject
approaching sector L.

We got to see
what's in that locker.

You guys video.

I'll create a diversion.

[ to self]:
Yeah, spy talk.

Help!

It's on me, man!

I-It's on me!

[ screams]

[ screaming fades]

Wow, look at
all this stuff.

CHUCKIE [ gasping]:
With other people's names on it.

It's on my head.

Aliens are eating
my brains!

I see no head-eating things.

I got it all.

Lots of cool angles,
awesome use of the fish eye.

Who cares?

Let's get out of here.

[ gasping]

S'up.

You guys spying on me?

Ha, ha.

Spying?

Ha. Good one.

No.

We, uh, almost forgot
to tape you

for the, um, uh,
video yearbook.

So, here's
your big chance

to express yourself
to the... your peers.

Anything you're burning
to say?

S'up.

Great. I think
we got it. Bye.

Whoa.

You know, he could be
holding that stuff

for some friends.

Besides, you don't think
Kimi would know

if he was really bad?

Give her some credit.

Don't you get it,
Lil?

Fooling Kimis is
what bad boys do best.

[ sighs]

[ gasps]

Okay, here's
the plan:

We'll join them with our lunch

and casually question Z until
he cracks in front of Kimi.

Let's go.

You think we should
get lunch first?

Oh.

Hey, Angelica,

thanks for the great
advice last night.

Oh, what can I say?

I'm a giver.

So how come it stunk
this morning?

What?

[ bell ringing]

Attention, please.

I am excited to announce

a brand-new
advice chat line--

"Hey, Harold,"

run by that caring,
understanding,

all-time advice
genius, Mr. Harold!

[ kids chattering]

A little
friendly competition

never hurt anyone,
Angelica.

So, now you're saying

you want to get
to know Z better?

Yup.

So, Z, that's
a nice scooter you have.

How do you afford it?

Dude, my MP player
just broke.

Know where I can
get a cheap one?

And no big
if it's hot.

So, is the food
this bad in prison?

What?!

I am so sorry, Z.

[ cell phone ringing]

Got to split.

Later, Boot Girl.

I can't believe you guys
talked to him like that.

What are you doing?

Taking an interest in your life.

What's your favorite TV show?

Those new socks?

Good. Got to go.

You're going
to ditch class?

Look, I got to get proof.

It's better I risk detention

than Kimi gets ten to with
time off for good behavior.

Wait, you can get
the goods on him

with this wire.

I'll tape it
to your chest.

[ yells]

Dil, I can't bend.

Is that a problem?

Naw, but the occasional
short circuiting might be.

[ screams as
electricity crackles]

[ games beeping and pinging]

Hey! Watch it!

Oh, Z, s'up?

Chuck, s'up?

Uh, just being
my usual bad-boy self.

You know, ditching school,

making trouble,
playing foosball.

[ screams as
electricity crackles]

Uh, old rumble injury.

Love the foos.

Let's go a round
while I wait
for a friend.

I like to pace myself.

You need to bend, dude.

So, my main man,
anything big going down

on the, you know,
uh, streets, yo?

Excuse me.

I scored a truckload
of stuff

from some
houses today.

Tonight's a go.

Alley behind
the warehouse on tenth.

Hopefully the cops
won't show.

[ screams as
electricity crackles]

Z:
Catch you.

[ groaning]

[ screams as
electricity crackles]

CHUCKIE:
I am telling you,

he is not the guy
you think he is.

No-- you'renot.

You come off at lunch

like you're starting
to like him.

Then you go
all junior detective.

What's next--
you going to spy on him?

Why don't you try
trusting my judgment?

I like Z
and he likes me.

We're friends
whether you like it or not.

Okay, you're friends.

How about just see him
like, uh... Thanksgiving?

[ flatly]:
Ha, ha.

FYI, I'm helping him
with a project...

tonight.

You can't!

Okay, Kimi,

there is something
I really got to...

Drop it!

This discussion
is finito.

[ gulps]

Tonight.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, sweethea...
[ yells]

What do you think?

[ gasping]

I can only help out
a little today.

I'm meeting
a friend soon.

Who, Polly the parrot?

[ gasps]

Bad-girl hair.

Uh, Kimi, can we
talk in the back?

Better not be about Z.

It is.

I want to say I'm sorry...

sorry I had to do this!

[ oohing]

What are you guys doing here?

Well, now we're kind of
staring at your hair.

Guys...

Kimi, we're here 'cause

none of us want you
to get hurt by Z.

What?!

Thanks, Chuckie.

So now you've made
everyone else
crazy, too?

[ sighs]

I didn't want
to do this,

but listen to this tape.

[ gurgling]

Oops... my stomach.

I was nervous.

[ groans]

Z [ over recorder]:
Tonight's a go.

Alley behind
the warehouse on tenth.

Hopefully the cops won't show.

[ Chuckie screaming]

I'm sorry
you had to hear that, Kimi.

But if you go tonight,

you could spend
the rest of your life

making license plates

and... and lifting weights
and talking to birds.

Wow... you
actually did spy.

But it opened my eyes
to the true Z.

I've got
to cry this out

in the bathroom.

Whew.

Okay, let
the Harold healing begin.

Wow, that's so sad.

"Coping with the loss
of a loved one is tough.

"But he's in
a better place now.

In time you'll heal
and be ready for a new hamster."

[ sniffs]

She's been in there
a mega-long time.

Oh, she must
be really bummed.

Kimi?

[ gasps]

Oh, no, she's going anyway.

We got to stop her.

Shouldn't we tell
your mom and dad?

I can't-- then she'll
really hate me forever.

Come on!

[ doorbell rings]

Huh?

What do youwant,
traitor?

It's just so, so...

You got any juice?

No!

But I do have a life,

which you're
no longer in.

I'm sorry,
Angelica.

I've realized
something:

I could really use some advice.

Oh, really?

So what
you're saying is

"Hey, Harold" needs
to "Ask Angelica"?

Well, I don't usually waste
my talent on hopeless cases,

but what's
the problem?

It's just that
some of the stories

are so, so sad.

This one's
lactose-intolerant,

that one's
got a bad perm.

How do you do it,
Angelica?

How do you keep
from getting

your heart ripped out?!

Well, it takes a very special
person to be an advice giver.

You have to be soft
on the inside

but tough on the outside--
like leftover lasagna.

Ask yourself, Harold,

are you
leftover lasagna?

No!

So I guess
"Hey, Harold" is over!

[ sobbing]

Yes!

Whoa...

the weight of the world
is off my shoulders.

Thanks, Angelica.

Any time.

I have to tell everyone
you're washed up

so they'll come
crawling back to me.

Now get out.

CHUCKIE:
I hope we're not too late.

Look, there!

I'm going
to go call the cops.

Oh, no,
Kimi's helping.

She's gone bad.

I got
to save my sister!

Chuckie!

[ brakes squealing]

Oops!

You all right, kid?

Stay back!

I know Tai Chi.

[ pretending to make
karate yell]

Chuck, what
is up with you?

And you, Z...

if that's your real letter,

I know all about
your evil plot

to lure Kimi into
your burglary ring.

Well, you messed with the wrong
brother this time, punk!

Let my sister go or I'll get
all, uh... freaky on you.

[ squealing]

You're a total wonk.

Bad wonk.

Z's not a burglar.

If you had
any real spying skills

you'd have realized
a long time ago

he's been collecting
stuff for charity!

See?! "Electronics
for Phonics."

The profit from
these donateditems

funds inner-city
literacy programs.

We're headed
to a fund raiser.

But he steals stuff from houses.

He's a real burglar!

He's a plumber...
and my dad.

Just picking up
donations from
clients, kid.

Okay, well, what about

"Hopefully the cops
won't show," huh, huh?

At the fund raiser--

they always bring better stuff
than we do.

Why didn't you just tell us
the truth, Kimi?

Z didn't want me to.

He's kind of shy
about that stuff.

Plus it would blow
his image--

getting excused from class
to do charity work?

Excused?!

I got detention.

Serves you right.

I told you
to trust me, Chuckie.

But you didn't.

I'm... I'm sorry, Kimi.
Forgive me?

Hmm...

No.

Come on, Z, let's go.

Harsh, Boot Girl.

Your bro and his buds
were freaked for you.

And you're all "No."

So cut Chuck some slack.

I am a scary guy.

Okay, okay...

I know it's
because you care.

Besides, I'm stuck with you
forever anyway--

all of you, I guess.

FATHER:
Group hug.

[ helicopter whirring
as sirens blare]

Stop hugging
and put your hands up!

You didn't!

No, uh, Phil did.

But only
because he cares...

like us, remember?

[ Kimi sighs]

FATHER:
Group hug.