02x06 - Miss Nose It All

[bunniefuu]

GIRL:
Four, three, two, one!

[ rock music playing]

♪ Every birthday,
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ "You're another year older,
another year wiser" ♪

♪ But I still go to school

♪ To get an education

♪ I treat each and every day

♪ Like a mini vacation

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up!

♪ I want the world to know

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up

♪ With you

♪ All grown up with...

♪ you.

[ class bell ringing]

SAVANNAH:
And needless to say,

this is the event of the decade.
so don't even think

about showing up
in something ABW.

Already been worn.

[ gasps]

Pop quiz.

Brianna, will I be wearing
this brand-new

temperature-controlled
mood bracelet to the party?

[ imitates buzzer]

No, it's ABW.

And if you can't show up
looking good,

you might as well
not show up at all.

Is your ensemble
all picked out?Hmm?

GIRL:
Seeing as it's the first

Savannah party
Angelica's been invited to,

I'm sure she knows
exactly what she's wearing.

[ laughs heartily]

Are you kidding?

I've had my outfit
under glass for three weeks.

Good.

We're outtie.

HAROLD:
Hi, Angelica.

Got to find
something to wear!

My first
Savannah party!

Got to be new,

got to be perfect
and it can't be ABW!

LIL [ over intercom]:
Attention.

To kick off
Community Service Week,

please hook up with your
assigned leaders at this time.

And remember:

Ask not what your community
can do for you;

ask what you can do
for your community.

[ feedback squeaks]

Did you guys hear me?

How'd I sound?

Let's just say

you have the face
for radio

but not the voice.

CHUCKIE:
What's a tranquillity
garden anyway?

Do you know
what a garden is?

Yeah.

Add tranquillity.

Duh.

Oh... that clears it up.

[ evil laughter]

Oh!

The reason we are here today

is to transform
this woeful meadow into a garden

respectful of ecology,
peace and meditation.

[ imitating farting]

[ laughter]

'Tis time for me
to fetch the flora.

Are Lil and I the only ones

who actually want to make
this garden?

What? I'm not
a plant person;

I'm a people person.

Guess again.

I'm diggin'
on this garden scene.

Pun definitely intended.

Me, too.

Ever since I saw
Our Whimpering Planet,

I'm here to save Mother Earth.

Do you know it's hotter
today than yesterday?

I can actually feel
the globe warming.

Try losing one
of the sweaters.

[ wheel creaking]

Now, which one of you would like

the honor of building
the meditation hut?

I'm your man, Miss O.

I built many a birdhouse
with my grandpa.

Splendid.

We shall meet
again after school

and begin our work.

O tranquillity, how
oft I've longed
for your bliss,

your surrender,
your absolute quiet.

[ sneezes loudly]

ANGELICA:
No...

noer...

noest!

[ meows plaintively]

But this... is perfect.

Now all I need is
an outfit to go with it.

Mom!
I need something new

for Savannah's party.

So take me
to the mall, now.

Sorry, sweetheart,

but you have
candy-striper duty, remember?

I've got more important
stuff to do.

Angelica, it's important
to do your part

to help
your fellow human beings.

You have a responsibility.

I know, to my sparkling
mermaid barrettes!

They deserve the perfect top
to go with.

You're going
to the hospital.

[ groans]

I'll tell you what:

You finish early,
you can go to the mall.Yes!

Put on your
candy-striper uniform...

if you can find it.

[ screams]

[ meows]

Today's duties include
delivering meals...

Yeah, yeah.

Collecting bedpans...

Let's go,
wrap it up.

And most importantly,

interacting compassionately
with patients.

Meals, compassion,
bedpans, got it!

Angelica,
you're never going

to earn your stripes
that way.

[ laughs]

Remind me to wear
my highest kicks

next time I'm standing up
four hours straight.

Something's got to take
the focus off this dress.

Besides, I'm only here
for two hours.

What's the big hurry?

I'd tell you,
but I don't have time.

[ clattering]

O'KEATS:
Time stands still
in a peaceful garden.

No kidding--

the past five minutes
took, like, an hour.

Charles, off you go to delitter
our surroundings posthaste.

Why don't
the rest of us
take a moment

to focus
on nature's blissful sounds?

[ ripping]

[ gasps]

[ both yelling]

You'll love the sun room,
Mrs. Johnson.

We'll get you comfy
and then we can hang.

ANGELICA:
Move it or lose it!

Whoa!

PATIENT:
Ow! Ow! Hey!

Ah, here we are...

You know what they say

about the sun
and premature aging.

PATIENT:
Hey! Ow! Ow!

Safe and sound--
you can thank me later.

It's mealtime.

Finally-- I'm starving.

Not you, the patients.

Are patients
the only thing

anybody cares about
in this place?

Angelica,
everything you do here--

your time, duty and love--
is for the patients.

Whatever.

All done here.

[ gasps]

[ straining]

I am so sorry.

Let me fix that.

Angelica!

What?

Do you have any idea
what you're doing?!

Uh, wasting primo shopping time

because people keep asking me
stupid questions?

[ groaning]

Angelica!

One last job: read to children.

Hey, you're
a children!

Plant it--
I got to read to you.

Your shoes are cool.

I know.

"Once upon a time, there
was an ugly duckling..."

who found the perfect
outfit at the mall

and was the prettiest
swan at the ball.

The end.
I knew it.

You're rushing
so you can find

something
for the party.

Yeah, so?
What are you wearing?

Something in
my closet.

Candy stripers
are supposed

to spend time with people,

to help them get better--
not worry about clothes.

The grass is blue,
the grass is blue!

She's been talking
the crazy talk.

Did you say "crazy talk"?

Actually I said
"the crazy talk."

Anyway, we should keep her
overnight for observation.

Tell me you're
not watching TV.

[ elevator bell dings]

Not anymore!

Hold the elevator!

[ yells]

My ankle!

My nose!

My party!

MAN:
The cast stays on
for a few weeks,

but the good news is you can go
about your business as usual.

You won't even
have to miss your party.

I can't go to my first Savannah
party with thisfor a nose!

The grass is blue.

Excuse me?

The couch is on vacation.

Is that the crazy talk?

The pillows
are hungry.

We should keep her
overnight for
observation.

Yes!

Today, the apple was a banana.

Oh, of course it was.

What are you up to,

and why are you quoting
Temptation Hospital?

I've got to lay low
for a while.

I can't risk being seen
like this.

at the party
or anywhere.

It will be all over school
I look like a clown.

You don't look
like a clown.

Look, a clown!

[ blathering]

[ both scream]

SUSIE:
Stop worrying so much

about what
you look like

and go to the party--
it'll be fun.

Everybody can sign
your nose.

KIMI:
♪ Baldheaded woman

♪ Do you see how much
I lo-o-o-ove you? ♪

♪ Baldheaded woman!

It's "tall,
redhead woman,"

not "baldheaded."

Nuh-uh.

LIL:
Why would Micky G. love

a baldheaded woman?

Maybe she shaved
her head for him.

Who cares?!

I got another question
for you, ma'am.

Aren't we just full
of questions today?

I hope this one's
more pertinent

than why Jersey cows
are not from New Jersey.

Oh, it is.

Which is the vowel
that's only "sometimes"?

Y.

Just curious--
so which is it?

Y.

Why don't you tell me?

It's A, E, I, O, U
and sometimes Y!

Uh... thanks.

Boy, we're building
this tranquillity thing

not a minute too soon.

My, isn't that...
interesting?

Pray tell, Thomas,
what's the hole for?

Well, I know
it seems whack,

but I'm just going
by the book of Grandpa Lou.

He gave me these instructions
for the ultimate meditation hut.

Says he's been using one
for years.

[ call buzzer ringing]

What is it now, Angelica?

My pillows
need fluffing...

again.

Hey, I'm the patient, remember?

Everything you do--
your time, duty

and some other junk--
is for me.

Oh, nurse!

I need a refill.

Don't be so stingy
with the ice this time.

[ sighs heavily]

[ panting]

I came as soon
as I heard, Angelica.

It's so tragic--
you talking the crazy talk.

Huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah-- my brain.

It's... melting.

[ gasps]

Maybe this'll
slow it down.

Get off me!

It's a... very
rare disease.

I'll be with you

when you have
half of a brain,

a quarter of a brain
an eighth of a brain,

even a brainlet.

What a terrible
rare disease!

Hmm... put it this way:

It's the rarest disease
I ever made up.

I had to!

I have to be
out of sight

until Savannah's
party's over.

Hello?

Middle of my face.

Can't miss it.

You have a cast
on your nose!

Good work, Columbo.

Listen to me, Harold,
you have to tell everyone

my brain is
temporarily melting

and I must be
in complete seclusion.

And you can't tell
anyone about my nose.

Don't worry, silence
is my middle name.

Actually it's Wayne,

but your secret's
safe with me.

And I'll stay with you
until the end of time.

Or now.

Be back after school.

Drink plenty of fluids.

Her brain is melting?

The day of
Savannah's party?

Poor, poor Angelica.

I feel so sorry for her.

Is she really
talking the crazy talk?

Oh, if only there was
something I could do.

Oh, there is.

She's registered
at the hospital gift shop.

"Peace and love."

Hmm.

"Peace and love"
is so... played out.

[ clattering]

There...

"cheer and harmony."

[ clattering]

"Peace."

"Cheer."

"Love"!

"Harmony"!

I'll settle this.

[ clattering]

"Pee here"?

[ laughter]

[ gasps]

Philip, this is
hardly my idea of...

[ screams]

tranquillity.

[ snickers]

What do you think, Ms. O?

It looks like
an... like an...

Outhouse!

In our
tranquillity garden!

O'KEATS:
How could you

confuse a meditation hut
with a latrine?!

I just followed
Grandpa's instructions.

Uh-oh, I get it:

The bathroom's where
he spends his time,

uh... meditating.

[ woman groaning]

Put a lid on it!

Trying to watch TV here.

I told you to keep it down.

Your roommate's trying to sleep!

What about my needs?

I can't even hear my show
because, oh, Miss Moans-a-lot.

Your dessert.

Oh, and you have a visitor.

I do?

Why didn't you tell me?

It's time for you
to go home.

Oh, it's just you.

I said
you worried too much

about how you look,
but, girl,

do you have
any idea how you look?

Five... four... three... two...

[ Angelica screams]

Okay, so I've looked better.

It's a good thing I'm here.

You need to get
over yourself

and give up your
bed to someone who
really needs it.

Break out the violins.

Look, when I have
a bad hair day,

I'll wear a hat.

I don't drop
off the planet

until my ends unsplit.

Did it ever occur to you

people might like you
for who you are?

Okay, but you get my point.

You do things your way,

I'll do the smart,
efficient way with
no hassle.

So you're going
to hang out here forever?

What do you care?

Because we're friends.

So that's why
you came by?

Well, that
and to give you this.

Homework?!

Some friend.

[ groans]

Strawberry?!

I wanted cherry.

The service around here
is pathetic.

So, anything else
you want to tell me?

Nope.

Feel better!

Poor, poor, brain-
melting Angelica.

[ groans]

Look, Chelsea,
Savannah's so upset

her mood bracelet's
turning black.

Uh, what can I say?
I'm... devastated.

Harold, why don't we
have a little talk?

Why would you
want to talk to me?

I'm just so concerned
about Angelica.

Is she feeling better?

How should I know?

She's very, very secluded
in... seclusion.

Oh, poor Angelica,

in seclusion
simply because she
doesn't want anyone

to see
her... feet?

Not feet, her nose.

Oh, thanks, Harold!

For what?

What did I just do?!

GIRLS:
♪ For she's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For she's a jolly
good fellow ♪

♪ For she's
a jolly good fellow... ♪

Poor, poor Angelica!

I know-- if Angelica
can't come to my party,

let's bring my party
to Angelica.

[ groans]

For what they charge
around here,

you'd think they'd have
better rides.

[ woman groaning]

Oh, all right.

What?

I am so bored.

What's wrong
with people around here?

This is hospital, not a library.

There's got to be
something to do here.

[ laughing]

Hey, there's that kid
I was nice enough to read to.

The clown's back!

[ screaming]

I'm not a clown--
get over it.

BOY:
Hey...

you look different.

Yesterday you were mean
and in a hurry.

Today you look mean
and kind of crazy.

What happened?

I broke my nose. Why?

You look like you need
someone to play with.

Yeah, well...

You got any cards?

Sorry.

I'm Spencer.

I'm busy.

Oh. Okay.
You still following me?

No.

I'm Angelica.

So, what are you in for?

I got a new kidney
recently.

You did?

Well, what happened
to the old one?

It wasn't working.

Oh, I'm sorry.

But you're okay now?

Yeah. I was real sick,

but now
I'm getting better.

I get to go home soon.

How long have
you been here?

Missed a whole
Little League season.

Wow, that's a long
time... I think.

Did your nose make you
miss anything good?

[ laughs]

No, not really.

I'm glad.

Hey, you still
got that book?

I'll read it to you
if you want.

The whole story?

The whole enchilada.

You trying to make me
look as bad as you?

I don't think
that's possible.

Yeah, you're right.

[ both chuckling]

[ panting]

Where's Angelica?!

WOMAN:
Gone... finally!

Gone?!

[ wailing]

As in she left.

Oh.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you!

O'KEATS:
Oh... you see,

all our efforts
were not for naught.

I do "naught" understand
a word she says.

Sit ye down, children.

Let's drink the tranquillity.

[ blows gentle melody]

Sweet silence.

We couldn't have picked
a more perfect spot.

[ tremendous rumbling
and crashing]

[ honking loudly]

[ crashing and booming]

[ O'Keats screaming above roar]

The end.

You're kind of nice
for a crazy-looking girl.

Well, you're
kind of crazy

for a nice-looking kid.

Thanks for reading
to me, Angelica.

Anytime, Spence.

[ crowd giggling]

Except now!

Angelica!

I know.

Hide me!

Hi, Harold.

Why are you standing

in front of
that food cart...

that has feet?

I'm not.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Oh, we wanted to see
how you were feeling.

[ cart creaking]

[ gasping]

SAVANNAH:
Your nose!

And hair and dress and shoes!

Uh...

Oh, yeah.

I fainted when I found out
my brain was melting.

Okay, how about

"It's the latest
look from Paris"?

Paris?

She's a party clown!

Can everyone just
let that one go?

I... I...

Okay...
here's the deal:

My brain's not melting.

I just didn't want anyone
seeing me like this.

So you lied to us?!

Yep, but that was
before I found out

there are a lot worse things
that can happen

than missing a party
or not looking good

or even a broken nose.

BRIANNA:
You're so right, Angelica.

Once I used my mom's exfoliate
and it turned my complexion

from tawny beige
to beige bisque!

Anyway, you can all go
to Savannah's party now.

Make fun of me all you want.

Okay.

Actually,
I don't blame her

for not wanting
to be seen.

I wouldn't
have gone

to the party either.

HOWARD:
The brain melt idea
was way genius.

Mind if
I borrow the melt

to get out of
my brother's piano recital?

Uh... sure.

Hey, we brought
all this stuff
for a party--

we might as
well have one!

Sorry, I'm late,

but I stopped
to get something.

Girl, that's better
for everyone.

Okay, this
has been cute.

Now let's go to my place
and have a real party.

But it's fun here.

[ gasps]

Is that another stripe?

Fancy that.

Can I sign
your nose?

Sure.

SPENCER:
Leave room for me.

[ laughter and conversation]

ANGELICA:
The couch is on vacation.