03x07 - No One Gets Out Alive

Episode transcripts for the TV show "George Lopez". Aired: March 27, 2002 - May 8, 2007.*
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Assembly-line worker and family man George is promoted to manage an airplane parts factory in L.A.
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03x07 - No One Gets Out Alive

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey.

- Hey.

How was the ski trip? - Oh, it was great.

Claire's family was cool.

They loved me.

They were laughing at my jokes.

You didn't tell me they were drinkers.

- Where's Dad? - Oh, Carmen we didn't wanna tell you this right before your trip but there was a plane crash and they think the landing gear made by your dad's factory was involved.

- How's he doing? - The last few days have been pretty tough.

- I'm gonna say hi to him.

- Okay.

Hey, Dad! Wow, Carmen, you screamed louder than your mother.

You guys are sick.

I can't believe you made up that horrible story as some stupid prank.

- Actually, honey, that part was true.

- Oh.

You were supposed to wait for me.

Oh, sorry, Max.

You can hang yourself at school.

Hey, I bet that janitor with the drinking problem could use a good scare.

No, you are not wearing that to school.

Now, get ready for school.

George, hurry up or you're gonna be late.

What am I gonna say to everybody the first day back after the crash? I mean, how do you get your mind off those two people that d*ed? - Oh, man, it's gonna be gloomy.

- George, wait.

You can't go to work like that.

Have a good day.

"Have a good day.

" Está loca, "Have a good day.

" Hey.

Maybe you didn't hear me.

I said turn off the freaking music.

Look, I'm team leader and I want everybody on my line focused.

Are you saying I'm not doing my job right? Huh? Because if you are, you're gonna be taking a ride on the pain train.

Back off.

Or you're gonna take a ride on the ouch bus.

- Is it on? - I don't know.

Did you leave it on? Ernie, Frank, what's this about? He said I'm not focused, like I'm responsible for what happened.

- I didn't say that.

But you should take a second look at your strut seals.

I wouldn't be surprised if they leaked.

- It's on.

- Yeah.

Because I left it on.

Come on.

Come on! - Aah! Aah! - Hey! Hey! Oh, it's like two manatees fighting over one head of lettuce.

If you don't knock it off I'm gonna take those seals and shove them down your throats.

I'd still be able to breathe, because they don't work.

Those struts are airtight.

Okay? And even if I did put out a bad part one of the inspectors is supposed to catch it.

Well, don't look at me.

I'm not the one they call Inspector Alzheimer's.

Hey, hey, this isn't my fault.

I do my job right, and nothing gets past me.

You know, I only pretend not to remember what you say because I love hearing you brag about how you invented fire.

That's right, you're older than fire! Girls, girls! You're both old and nasty.

Look, this is not the time to start blaming each other.

Okay? We didn't do anything wrong.

And we'll get through this.

We've been through tough times before.

- Remember the asbestos scare? - No.

- No.

- Asbestos? You were never in danger.

Now, come on.

Get back to work.

Back to work.

I need to see you in your office, backstabber.

When are you gonna get over this? I thought the company was splitting up.

I'm sorry I picked your brother over you.

Well, that's all water under the bridge, two-faced, lying Judas.

Listen.

I wanted to give you a heads-up.

NTSB is investigating us.

They're sending a guy this afternoon who's gonna question all the workers.

- They think we're responsible? - Hey, don't worry.

I mean, they're not gonna find anything.

Now, I've gotta go to my office and erase a lot of stuff off my hard drive.

- Oh, man, Jack - Oh, no, no, no.

No, George, it's not about the crash.

It's I'm writing a romance novel.

Well, why would the NTSB care about that? It's pretty steamy.

Benita Lopez.

Powers Brothers Aviation.

Employee number 594.

That's it.

You can hang me upside down, b*at the soles of my feet but you're not getting any more out of me.

- How long have you been an inspector? - About 30 years.

And how many parts would you say you inspect in a day? Not as many as your wife.

About 80.

So as head inspector, can you think of any way that a bad part may have gotten through? Hey, you know what the problem with you guys is? You gotta blame somebody for everything.

Sometimes crap just happens, you know.

Planes crash buses fall off cliffs, and it looks like your mother did it with a frog.

What are you gonna do? I think we're finished.

Thank you.

Send me a tape.

I think I did a good job.

How'd it go? Just don't say his name during the cavity search.

It only encourages him.

Have a seat, Mr.

Lopez.

I've noticed that some of your workers are, uh, dealing with substance-abuse problems but they're still employed here.

As the manager, how do you explain that? Well, I give them a second chance, but I take them off the line.

Everyone going through rehab works in Shipping.

We even have our own delivery slogan: "When it absolutely, positively has to be somewhere, sometime.

" Something tells me you don't like the funny.

Mr.

Lopez, this is a serious matter.

I can see from your files that you've, uh, had problems here before.

- Retention clips, roller bearings, oil lines - But those parts were rejected.

Any problem we have, we fix.

- We do a great job here.

- I hope so, for your sake because it is your signature that sends these parts out the door.

Oh, I have to, uh, go to the car, get another tape.

You might wanna start taking your belongings out.

Why would I do that? We're shutting this place down until the investigation is over.

- How long is that gonna be? - It's impossible to say.

Could be a couple of weeks.

Could be forever.

George, I need some personal days next week.

I'm not gonna tell you what they're for.

I just need them off.

- Take them.

- It's a very, very private matter.

- Please don't tell me.

- It involves lasers.

- Gina, if you tell me, you're fired.

- What if I just point to it? Go! - Max, what are you doing? - Saving money.

I'm making my own Halloween costume.

I'm a zombie.

This is my La Marie kelp mask.

This stuff is $40 ajar.

You are ripping off your customers.

Max, with everything that's going on this is not the best Halloween to be going as somebody dead.

And as for that mask, young man, leave it on for another 20 minutes.

It'll clean your pores.

What are you doing home so early? The NTSB shut down the factory to investigate the crash.

What? That's not fair.

They don't know what went wrong, but they're putting you out of work taking money out of our pockets? - It's gonna be okay.

It's almost Halloween and when the kids egg the house I'm gonna run out with some chorizo and we'll make an omelet on the porch.

If that's a Girl Scout, knock her down.

I'll take her cookies también, I don't care.

- Jack.

Hi.

Come on in.

- Hey.

- What now, Jack? The factory burn down? - No.

No, that's plan B.

No, George, I'm here because I need your help.

I'm worried that the workers are gonna panic, start looking for other jobs.

What can I do? You're from the line, George.

They trust you.

Get them to stick with us.

Just for a few weeks.

Just till we're cleared.

Can't afford to lose anybody.

Except maybe your mom.

I know, she's a good worker, but, George, she gets drunk and she crank calls my house late at night.

George, just don't let anybody quit, huh? I'm counting on you.

Mom, it's working.

I can feel my pores being cleaned.

George, don't just do this for me.

Do it for your little girl.

What are you guys doing? Those fools are looking for work.

You too, Ernie? No, I'm looking at last night's lotto numbers.

Oh.

Now I'm looking for work.

Well, put that away.

Listen up.

I wanna say something.

Gonna get that, Frank? Uh, my old lady doesn't know I'm out of work and I don't want her to know I'm at a bar.

Go ahead and get it.

I'll help you out.

All right.

- Sweetheart.

- Frank, that better not be a personal call! Get your lazy ass back on the press! No, I gotta go, honey.

Fat-head's all over my junk again.

Thanks, George.

Look, I can't believe this.

You guys jumped ship at the first sign of trouble.

What happened to loyalty? Look, this investigation thing is gonna blow over and I need you guys to stick by the company until it does.

What if we wait for a few weeks and then find out it's our fault? Man, have some faith in yourselves.

Look, we'll pull through this.

We're a family.

I'm here for you guys.

Frank, you had your wedding in my backyard.

And Gina I helped you fix your roof after the earthquake.

Blaine.

Who was standing by your side when you decided to come out to your parents? Blaine is gay? Well, now I'm out at work too.

Why don't you just tell my wife? Listen.

All I'm asking for is a couple of weeks.

Hey.

George is right.

You know, we owe him that.

- Yeah.

- I'm here for you, buddy.

Yeah, me too.

I'm here.

Maybe there's some way we could raise money and have an emergency fund, give it to whoever needs it.

Topless car wash.

Heh-heh.

Yeah, good idea, Ernie.

Because these are the women that you wanna see topless? Hey, these chi-chis can still turn heads.

Yeah, they turn heads, but now it's more like this: Eurgh! Hey, Halloween's coming up.

And those big haunted houses, they make a fortune.

- We could build our own.

- Well, that's a great idea, Ernie.

We could have it at my place and charge like 5 bucks.

- Come on.

- Right.

Yeah, we got the skills.

Great idea.

We could all get dressed up like skeletons and goblins Aah! How did you get into your costume so fast? Okay, we're all set.

Now, hand the old prospector $5 and come on in.

It's our house, so I'm going first, Mom.

Okay, honey, but this may be the last time we talk because no one gets out of the haunted mine alive.

Ha-ha! Aah! So lame.

Please, God, no! Ladies first.

What's this? Aah! Are you hungry? Not you.

My babies.

You will never escape the web of Carmantula! Cave in! Aah! Aah! Stay away, fairy girl.

This gold is mine.

If I were you, I'd get out of here before it wakes up.

Ha-ha.

Too late! And too bad for you, poopy, because I am very hungry.

Aah! Ow! Save yourself.

The only way out is the mining car.

Man, I hope they fixed the track.

You could get lost down there forever.

I wanna go home.

Órale, why are you crying? It's okay.

This is how you get out to see your mommy unless the giant cave snake gets you.

- Aah! No refunds.

Tell all your friends.

Wasn't that fun? The bat was scary.

Try having dinner with it every Sunday.

Come on out.

We'll get some candy, huh? That's too much! Aah! - Happy Halloween! - Bah! Hey, what are you doing, you old bat? I'm sucking the refreshing golden blood out of this can.

Stay away! - What are you? - I'm dead.

Well, stay away, dead kid.

This gold is mine.

If I were you, I'd get out of here before it wakes up.

Before it wakes up.

Mom.

You know what? Just go through here and there's some candy outside.

What's the matter? That dead kid.

What if I did that? - What are you talking about? - What if I k*lled those people on the plane? Mom, why would you think that? You know how when you're driving and all of a sudden you look up and you realize that you haven't been paying any attention? Well, that's happened to me on the line.

I look up and I see a bunch of parts I've okayed and I don't even remember inspecting them.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, man.

I should've put a zipper in this thing.

Max! All right, all right.

Here's my candy.

I don't want you to keep this candy in your room.

I want it in the kitchen.

- How many have you had this morning? - None.

Show me your tongue.

Show me your tongue.

Max, we have this talk every Halloween, okay? No candy before breakfast.

- Wait a minute.

Show me your tongue.

- No.

It's not important right now.

You came to my room last night to steal my candy.

I knew I wasn't dreaming.

Bears don't tell you they're bears.

I did no such thing, partner.

Hey, how's it going, Mom? Perfect.

You know, never better.

Listen, I was thinking if you don't wanna inspect anymore I can put you back on a machine.

I guess that'd be all right.

I'm getting sick of listening to Gina talk about that laser treatment.

Hey, you know where they put those lasers? No! Don't wanna know.

Don't want it pointed to either.

Benny, George told me what happened last night and I want you to know you are not alone.

You're a strong person, but you're stronger with us.

What? Are you paid by the hug? Get off me.

Ugh.

She seems fine.

So we cleared almost $1000 last night.

That should really help out Frank and the other guys.

Oh, that's great.

- What are you doing with the classifieds? - I'm looking for a job.

What? You just told your mom the factory was gonna reopen.

I'm trying to get her through this, Angie.

All right? I'm giving Jack his two weeks but my mom shook me up.

I didn't wanna admit there was a chance we made a mistake but she's on the line.

If she thinks there's a problem, then what do I know? I've gotta take care of my family.

Now you're shaking me up.

Everything's gonna be all right, baby.

As long as you believe in me and my ability to "put pets to sleep in a humane environment.

" I mean, how hard can that be? "Hey, Lopez, Mr.

Whiskers is waking up.

" - "I'm on it.

" - Oh All right, what's our backup plan? I can, um, double my hours at La Marie and until the factory reopens, you can watch the kids.

- I'd rather k*ll strangers' pets.

- George.

Mom.

Dad.

I love you.

- One less mouth to feed? - Yup.

- Hey, Gina.

What's up? - Well, I got that laser surgery.

I don't need to know.

There was this giant mirror, and I got to watch the whole thing as they were making it happen.

- Tequila.

Jack! What's up, brother? George, I'm glad you're here.

Let me ask you a question.

If you were a young southern belle, who would you be more attracted to? The dashing captain with the promising future or the young Irish stable boy with eyes so blue you could swim in them? Oh, hell.

I got tequila at the house.
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