04x14 - Long sh*t

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "The Rookie"...
Excuse me?

Your mother did what?

She pre-paid for me
to have my eggs frozen

at a fertility clinic.

Uh, I-I'm gonna make
an appointment

for a consultation.

Call my skip tracer.

Skip Tracer Randy!

That's me.
Hey, Randy.

Skip Tracer Randy here.

My skip tracer looked into
Penelope, Donovan's fiancée.

She used to be an escort.

Use Penelope's history
to get him to back off.

I had no idea
you would stoop this low.

I did what I thought
was best.

Penelope and I broke up,
and Lila is devastated.

My license just got suspended
for six months.

So what are you
gonna do?

Well, right now, I'm debating
which bar to get drunk at.

♪ Itsy bitsy spider went up
the waterspout ♪

I figured we could put
some knickknacks up here.

Maybe have
a digital picture frame

for a slide show
of Jack.

Between fixing
the garage door

and all the new
kitchen cabinets,

you've really turned
into a Mr. Fix-it.

I had no idea
how handy I was.

Right.
Yeah.

Oh, even though I worked up
a sweat,

I'm still gonna go to the gym.
That's my man.

Love you.
Love you, too.

♪ Down came the rain and washed
the spider out ♪

♪♪

So, Wesley decided to do
some do-it-yourself

around the house again?

He'll be at the gym
for an hour.

Can you come now?

I'm on my way.

♪♪

Tell Angela I said hi.

Thank you.

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ I'm gonna win for you like
I know you want me to do ♪

Ugh.

You okay?

Yeah.

I just hate
these kinds of forms.

"Mid-Wilshire Fertility Clinic
Patient Intake Form"?

Sounds riveting.

You have no idea.

They basically
want to know

whether anyone in my family,
going back to

my great-great-great-great-
grandparents,

ever had halitosis
or webbed feet.

It's a little intense.

It helps them screen
for genetic disorders.

Ensures that they harvest
your very best eggs.

Mm-hmm. I guess.

But since I don't know
my biological father, you know,

it makes it kind of
challenging.

Wait.
Your dad's not your bio dad?

Mnh-mnh.
You never told me that.

It's not really
a big deal.

My dad, the man who raised me,
is my dad.

Yeah, but weren't you ever
curious?

Honestly, not really.

I did ask my mom once,
when I was in college,

because I felt like I was
supposed to want to know.

She told me that he was not
ready to be a father,

and, you know,
left it at that.

Maybe it's time to ask again,

if only to find out whether
Hutchinson-Gilford progeria

or methemoglobinemia
runs in the family.

I'm taking repro-bio.

But those two
are totally rare.

You're much more likely
to pass on a predisposition

for heart disease
or cancer.

Mm-hmm.

I'm always happy
to lend Angela a hand,

but this is the fifth time
I've been over there this month.

Oh, sounds like Wesley needs
a new hobby.

Wesley needs to get
his law license back.

This guy is frantically waving.

Do you know him?

Uh, yes,
and you do, too.

That is Randy.

Skip Tracer Randy?

Hi,
it's Skip Tracer Randy.

Oh, wow.
Nyla Harper, you look radiant.

John Nolan, so nice
to finally meet

that handsome face
that hangs on my wall.

Thank you. What?

Oh, yes, I background-check
all of my friends.

John Nolan, 46,
born Foxburg, Pennsylvania,

to Evelyn and Charles.

Abandoned by his papa,
age 10.

Ex-wife Sarah, son Henry,
half-brother Peter --

oh, quite a character,
that one.

The background I ran on him
was so long,

my printer ran entirely
out of ink.

That's -- Wow,
that is super thorough

and a little bit creepy.

Yeah. So, um,
what are you doing here, Randy?

Oh, ja.
So, uh, big news.

I'm a bounty hunter now.

Yes, and I need
your help.

Do you know the sexy-time lady,
Ivy Flynn?

The Hollywood Madam?

Yes.
She's jumped over her bail,

and I must now find her.

Could I bitte, bitte

just get a kleiner blick
at her arrest report?

♪♪

Alright, go get him
a redacted copy.

Oh. You're the bees
of the knees!

Your bees --
Your knees --

Your bees contain knees.

Listen, do you really know
what you are doing?

Bounty hunting
is dangerous.

I know, and I've been preparing
like an animal.

I've recently learned how to
fire a bow and arrow

using just my feet.

Okay, I am not sure how
that is gonna help you

out on the street,
but, um,

please just promise
you'll call me

if you get into
any trouble.

Oh, yes, of course.

Here you go.

My first bounty.

Oh, this is so exciting!

Oh, man!
Bye-bye, my dearest friends.

Yeah.

Weird guy.
Mm-hmm.
You have no idea.

I don't know what to do.
This handyman phase

is driving me nuts.

So, it just sounds like

he's looking for ways
to feel useful

during the suspension.

What he's doing
is the opposite of useful.

Do you know what?

I got a call yesterday
from a producer

at "Hot Suspect."

He was asking me
if I can recommend someone

who can join the show
as a legal consultant

for a new character.

I can call him and see if
he's still looking for someone.

Oh, my God, yes.

Okay. Okay.

So, I'll call him after
the sergeants' meeting.

Or I can call him now?

It says here the bounty
for Ivy Flynn is $250K.

For a madam?

There are violent offenders
with much lower bails.

Yeah. And nonviolent offenders
rotting in jail

because they can't afford
the 100 bucks it would cost

to bail out
before their trials.

I mean, we imprison them
for being poor.

Yeah.

Well, clearly,
the high bail set for Ivy

is meant to squeeze her
so she flips on her clients.

But with a bounty
that high,

that means there will be
serious people looking for her

on both sides of the law.

There's no way Randy
is ready for that.

Who you calling?

A friend in Vice.

I got to figure out what
the deal is with this case

before Randy
gets himself k*lled.

Hey, do you think
it's weird

I didn't try to find
my biological dad?

No. You don't owe the guy
anything.

The only thing he ever
contributed to your life

was measured
in milliliters.

That is gross.

Seriously, I don't know
why I bother talking to you

about personal stuff.

Mission accomplished.

Hey, what happened?

Someone used a Molotov cocktail
to torch this guy's car.

Any idea who did it?

No. But after talking to him
for 30 seconds,

I'm pretty sure
your suspect pool

is anyone with
two X chromosomes.

Hey, sir,
I'm Sgt. Bradford.

Do you know who torched
your car?

Yeah, some psycho chick
in a red track suit.

I saw her
from my apartment window.

She was gone by the time
I got down here.

Do you know why a woman would
want to destroy your car?

No.
The ladies love me.

Although a few
of my last lovers

might have left
a little ungrateful.

Okay, uh, why don't you
give us a list?

How about giving me
your number?

Why you want to know
about Ivy Flynn?

Uh, a bounty hunter I know
asked about her.

She's a cut above
the usual idiots we chase.

Hell, she has a master's
in education.

Took two years to build a case
against her.

She's not gonna be
easy to find.

How did she go from studying to
be a teacher to a madam?

She started doing sex work
to pay for grad school.

Found a niche with high-end
clients who wanted smart,

sophisticated girls to show off
at parties, premieres,

that kind of thing.

Off of that,
she started her own business.

Before her arrest,
she ran the top game in town --

movie stars, politicians,
judges.

If her clients really are
that powerful,

she's probably scared
of what they'll do to her

if she talks.

There's something else
you should know.

When she transitioned
from sex worker to madam,

she needed seed money
to start her business.

Rumor is, some of that financing
came from organized crime.

Hmm.

It's Randy.

Hey, can I call you back
in a few?

Ivy Flynn.
I found her.

1717 Piedmont.
But I'm in trouble.

♪♪

♪♪

Police!

Oh, help.

Control, 7-Adam-15.

Send an RA unit
to my location.

Male, 50s,
g*nsh*t to the shoulder.

Conscious
and breathing.

Is the person who sh*t you
still in this house?

No.

Alright, tell me
what happened.

This woman, uh,
I don't know her.

She broke in and demanded money
from me,

and when I said no,
she sh*t me! Ugh!

He's lying!

Randy?

Yeah, in here.

Randy, w-what are you doing
in there?

It's locked.

I got scared a little bit,
and then I hid a little bit.

In a coffin?

Don't be silly.
It's not a coffin.

It's the man's sex box.

Uh, that's not true.

Oh, yes, it is. Do not let
this nation of puritans

kink-shame you, man.
Be proud!

Randy, what --
what happened?

Okay, so, I tracked Ivy here,
but she wasn't alone.

They were arguing, so I hid
in here to listen,

but I got stuck.

Did you hear what they were
arguing about?

Oh, ja. It was all about
those Benjamins.

The man was supposed to give her
cash monies for silence,

but he pulled a g*n
and tried to sh**t her.

I did not.

Oh, yes, you did.

I have it all
recorded on my phone.

Hey
I'm starting to feel

a little tingly inside.

That sounds like
oxygen deprivation.

Where's the key?

I don't have it.

What?

My dominatrix does.

It's a control thing.

Johnny,
are you still nearby?

Yeah, Randy, I'm here.

I forget, am I supposed to
step into the light

or stay away?

Okay, we need to
get him out of there.

Control, I got a --
a weird one.

Thanks for coming
on such short notice.

I didn't really
have a choice.

I was kinda sorta threatened
into this by my wife.

How romantic. Anyway, Sabrina --
that's my new actress --

she really wants to bring
this character to life.

She wants to know how lawyers
eat, sleep, breathe.

If I'm being honest, she's
actually a little exhausting.

Hey, there she is!

Sabrina,
this is Wesley Evers,

the defense attorney
I told you about.

He comes
highly recommended.

Nice to meet you,
Sabrina.

Where do you stand
on Dameron vs. Mitchell?

I'm sorry?
2009, Judge Fordham,
Ninth Circuit?

Uh, I'm not familiar
with that case.

Not familiar?
And you're a defense attorney?

Yeah.

This is your expert, Alan?
Come on.

No, no, wait, there --
there actually

is no Judge Fordham
in the Ninth Circuit.

Well, there is
in the script.

Did you make him up?

Yes,
for our television show.

Oh, sorry, my bad.

That means
I have a lot of questions

about that courtroom scene
in Act Four.

And Wesley is here
to answer them for you.

You two have fun.

Wesley, I cannot thank you
enough.

Mm-hmm.

So
where do you want to start?

Everywhere.

Show me your world.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Your whole world.
Yeah.

That box cost me 20 grand.

It was custom-made for me.

You better not ruin it.

Oh. Danke schoen.

Oh. Whew!

I have to say, aside from
the complete lack of oxygen,

this is
surprisingly comfortable.

Alright.
Look into the light.

Okay.

And...

He's fine.

No, girl,
you're the one who's fine.

Excuse me?
It's an inside joke.

Oh. Uh, why do you have
an inside joke

with Skip Tracer Randy?

Uh, Skip Tracer Bounty Hunter Randy.
Right.

After we had him look into
Jason, we kept in touch.

Yeah, we're, like,
total besties now.

Besties.

Alright, I have to
get back to work.

Okay.
Stay safe.

You, too.

Bye.
Bye.

Ugh.

You know, if you would have
just called us

when you got here,
we could have helped you

bring Ivy in safely.

Ja, ja, I know, but I wanted to
prove to you guys

I'm a real bounty hunter.

Also, I know they say,
"More money, more problems,"

but
I didn't want to share

the money with you.

Uh, you do know that if
we helped you bring in Ivy,

you could keep
all the money?

Police don't keep bounties.

No way.

Uh, hey, guys,
we should totally do something

called "being partners."

Forget it, no.
This is a police matter.

Ivy has already shown that
she is ready to use

deadly force,
so you need to stand down

and let us handle this.

I understand, Nyla,
you're trying to protect me.

You're like a Valkyrie
sparing me from Valhalla.

Oh, well, I guess
I'll just have to read

her secret messages on my own...
Whoa.

...to find out where
she will go.

Wait, wait, wait.

What --
What secret messages?

No one has been able to cr*ck
her communications --

not the FBI, not the LAPD,
no one.

Ja, that's correct.
None of them employ Randy.

But I will only share these
with a partner.

♪♪

Fine, Randy.
We can work together.

Yes.
Temporarily.

Now, how did you hack
her e-mails?

Oh, that's the genius
of her madness.

She doesn't use
e-mail or text.

She uses
"Popcorn Pillager."

Oh, fun.
It's a --

Yeah, it's a --
it's a video game.

Once you hit Level 30, you can
message other players.

Exakt.This way,
she ensures her clients

complete confidentiality.

Okay, so, what was
her last message?

Oh.
Does it say
where she was going?

Uh, let's check.

Yeah, okay.

Boot loot-de-doot,
bippity-bop, and...

So, she is meeting with
a forger to buy a passport.

♪♪

Thank God you're here.

We just suffered
a biological att*ck.

A-A fur b*mb. Uh, a horrible,
disgusting act of v*olence.

Okay, what happened?

Rats.

Okay, ma'am,
you can't call 911

when a rodent gets into
your restaurant.

No, they didn't
just wander in.

They were released
by a crazy woman.

She came in with
an animal carrier, and --

and before I knew what was
happening,

she set free a dozen rats

in the middle
of my breakfast rush.

I mean, it was chaos.

I want her arrested for
biological terrorism.

OK,
can you describe her?

Um, she had a ball cap on,
a-a red track suit.

That's like
our arson suspect.

Her name
is Jordan Conner.

She used to work here.

And I fired her because
she was late all the time.

Okay, do you have an --

Oh.

Sorry.
Do you have her address?

This is a step up from
the usual MacArthur Park

fake I.D. crew.

Well, it's not like Ivy's
throwing a kegger.

I mean, she's trying to
get past the TSA.

Passports are almost impossible
to fake.

I'm bored.

Yeah, well,
hunting fugitives

is all about
the waiting game.

If you can't hack
a little boredom,

then maybe you should go back
to skip tracing.

That's her.

♪♪

Hey! Police! Stop!

Hands up!
Show me your hands!

I'm working! Alicia Kaufman,
Kaufman Bail Bonds.

Alicia? Get out.

What a crazy zufall
seeing you here!

You two know each other?

Oh, ja.
She's the one who got away.

A former lover,
not an escaped prisoner.

Although don't think we didn't
role-play that.

And now we
are rival bounty hunters.

Her story checks out.
She was just after the bounty.

250,000 bucks gone,
thanks to you.

A fugitive still on the loose,
thanks to you.

How did you know where Ivy was
gonna be, anyway?

I hacked his phone.

I've been listening to
everything you said.

OMG, you hacked me?

Your password is
skiptracerrandy1.

Yes.

You might want to think about
changing that.

You're a licensed
bondswoman.

You know that you can't
interfere in police business.

She is super sorry
and will never do it again.

No, I'm not,
and yes, I will.

You're such a kidder.

Hey, we should team up,
you know, become partners,

now that I'm a bounty hunter,
too.

Oh, I thought you were
teamed up with us.

Is that why you're out here,
ruining my bounty?

You want to
get back together?

If I win this cash money,
I will take you

on the most romantic vacation
ever,

to the most romantic city
ever --

Munich.

Or how about I win the money,
and I use it to pay someone

to sear all memory of
our relationship from my brain

with a hot poker?

Oh, God, I have missed the way
you tease me.

I got a bounty to collect.

Am I free to go?

Yeah, but stay out
of our way.

We need to know where Ivy
is going next,

and she's got to know
that we hacked into

her "Popcorn Party"
or whatever,

so she's not gonna
use that.

Well, until recently, she
employed dozens of escorts.

Maybe one of them
has a lead.

They are very loyal
and hard to find.

Ivy protected her girls
as much as her clients.

But I do know of one girl
who fell out with Ivy

many years ago.

But she also hates Harper
very much,

with all the passion
of her soul, in a bad way.

What are you talking
about?

Penelope, uh, the lover
of your former husband.

The woman whose heart
you crushed under your feet

like a tiny cockroachy.

She's never gonna want
to talk to me.

And yet we need to
talk to her.

So, normally, an attorney
would have to be escorted

by an officer
through the station,

but I have some pull here.
Hey, uh, Sgt. Grey.

This is Sabrina Fowler,
the very talented new actress

on "Hot Suspect."

Wade Grey.
My wife loves your show.

Oh.
It's a pleasure.

You know, my character,
Margo Caine,

is having an affair
with a police sergeant.

And his wife
likes to watch.

Would your wife like to watch?

Um, n-no.

Um, Detective Lopez,
come, come, come, come.

Please show your husband
and his friend around.

Please.
Hi. You must be Sabrina.

Call me Margo.
I'm a method actor.

It's a very important part
of my process.

I don't just play a role.

I inhabit it.

Oh, okay...Margo.

Thank you.

Can I talk to you for a sec?
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

♪♪

What was that?

I don't know.
It's been a very strange day.

She keeps going in and out
of character.

I'm never quite sure
who I'm talking to.

On the ride over here,

she says that Margo uses
her sexuality as a w*apon.

I mean,
who talks like that?

Someone trying
to steal my man.

Unh-unh.

No, Margo only has eyes
for Grey.

Trust me.

Hey.
Where's Looney Tunes?

Uh...

This is why a guest
needs an escort.

How are you gonna lose
an actress?

Look, in my defense,
Angela didn't notice, either,

and she's a detective.

Wait. Shut up.

...intruding upon the
sanctity of his private thoughts

is ergo unconstitutional...

Oh, please, no.

Okay, fine, I'll drop
the charges.

No, you will not.

She's not a lawyer.

Really? Well,
she's the toughest mouthpiece

I've ever met.

Thank you.

Four years at USC's
School of Dramatic Arts.

That's great.
It's, uh, time to go.

Oh, I'll tell you.
Oh.

Does that mean
I get to go, too?

No.

Lopez, take him back
to the holding cell

until a real lawyer
shows up.

Smitty, my office, now.

This is Jordan's building.

Sir, are you okay?

Does it look like
I'm okay?

What happened?

Who's asking?

We're police officers.

One of my tenants showed up
at my door

and pepper-sprayed me.

Okay, which tenant?

Girl in Apartment B.

Uh, Jordan Conner.

And why do you think
she did that?

How should I know?
It's always drama with her.

She's three months behind
on her rent.

Always complaining
about special circumstances.

She's a pain
in my ass.

Did you see where she went
after she att*cked you?

Obviously not.

Uh, sir, if she,
uh, comes back,

feel free
to give us a call.

Yeah, if she knows
what's good for her,

she won't be back.

Do you need us to call anyone
for you?

No, I'm good.

She's escalating.
First, property damage,

now as*ault.
We got to find her

before she really hurts
someone.

I'll get a warrant
to track her phone.

I just wanted to ask you
a few more questions

about Ivy Flynn.

Oh, no, no, you've got to be
kidding me.

You actually think I'm gonna
tell her anything?

Penelope, I-I...

Ja, Bailey,
I'm telling you, girl --

Alicia and I really had
a breakthrough.

You should have seen her face
when I mentioned Munich.

R-Randy, uh,
the mic is on.

Oh, hold on, Bailey.

I need to turn
the microphone off.

Okay, now, where were we?

Randy, still on.

The one with the red li--
You know what?

I'm just gonna --
I'm gonna go get him.

Mm-hmm, yeah.
I'm gonna --

Hey, how about
we go for a walk?

Oh, that sounds fun.

Uh, listen, um,
I owe you an apology.

Oh, 'cause you used
my history as a sex worker

to ruin my relationship?
Yeah, you do.

Okay, um, you may not
believe this,

but it was never my intention
to involve you.

It was about my daughter.

I just -- I couldn't let him
take her.

And, honestly, I-I think
sex work should be legal.

Wow.
How progressive of you.

I know I outed you,
but it was Donovan

who couldn't get past it.

I mean, isn't it better
that you know that

before you married him?

I really loved him.

He is very lovable.

And he's the most uptight man
I have ever dated.

So uptight.

But it should have been
my choice to tell him.

I know.

And I truly am sorry
for using your past

in my fight with Donovan.

It was -- It was unfair.

Thanks.

So you want intel
on Ivy?

Anything you know
might help.

Okay, well, if she's hiding out,
she's doing it in style.

I'd check Hotel Mathilde.

She used to keep
a permanent suite on hold there

for her top clients.

Thank you.

You've had quite the day,
Jordan.

We spoke to your ex,
your old boss, your landlord.

Greatest hits.

Or maybe "hit list"
is more appropriate.

It's a pretty epic
revenge tour.

You want to
talk about it?

Not much to say.

People suck.

Yeah. Amen to that.

Still, you must have
had a reason.

You know what BRCA1 is?

The breast cancer gene.

My mom had it.

She d*ed when I was 7.

So, last year,
when I found a lump,

I wasn't surprised.

And I was resigned.

I knew I was gonna die.

I was sure of it.

Until last week,

when my doctor told me
I was in remission.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

So, then I was like,
"Screw resignation."

I'm still here.

And as long as I am,
I'm done apologizing

for my existence.

Okay, so that's why
you lit your ex's car on fire?

When I told him I was sick,

his first response was,
"I don't do bald chicks."

And then my boss fired me
for being late from chemo.

When I was too sick to work,
my landlord raised my rent.

I'm sorry
that happened to you.

I thought that if I was
a good person who worked hard

and was nice to people,

good things would come back
to me.

And all I got
was this pile of crap.

So, today, I decided
we make our own karma.

If that means you need to
arrest me...

I still say
it's worth it.

♪♪

♪♪

Hmm.

You know, most people have
a near-death experience

and want to change their life
for the better.

Got to respect her
for going the other way.

I guess.

All I can think about
is her spending her whole life

waiting to get sick
like her mom.

Is it better to know
or not?

You talking about
bio dad now?

Yeah. I mean,
everything she said back there,

it's in my head.

Well, call your mom.

Have the hard conversation.

Find out the truth.

If I want to find out the truth,
I'm not gonna call my mom.

I'm gonna call Aunt Amy.

Thank you so much
for meeting me here.

Are you kidding?
I'm glad you called.

Okay, so...

I have to ask you
some questions,

but I don't want you to talk
to my parents about it.

Okay.

So, you know how my mom paid
to have my eggs frozen?

I told her not to do that,
by the way.

But God forbid
she listen to her sister.

Yeah.

I was really pissed about it
for a few days,

but, you know, ultimately,
I decided to explore it,

which led to a bunch of
medical forms

that are filled with questions
I -- I can't answer.

About your birth father.

Yeah.

Your mom would k*ll me.

Uh, please?

I promise
I won't tell her.

I just need to know
what's in my DNA.

It's not as simple
as giving you a name.

The year your mother
became a therapist,

she...

slept with a patient.

He was your father.

What?

She swore me to secrecy.

It would ruin her career
if it ever got out.

I think the shame
still eats her up.

♪♪

I just want you
to look around.

And there are so many
neighborhoods like this

that are underresourced,
overpoliced,

where people are going to prison
because they'd rather

take a plea deal
than risk going to trial

in our broken
justice system.

Wait.

Say those exact words again.

What you said was so real.

I'll have Alan do a rewrite
to incorporate it.

Okay, it -- it's my job.

No, it's my mission
as a defense attorney

to try to get the best defense
possible for my clients,

no matter who they are,
where they're from,

what they may have done,
whether it's, uh,

an innocent man at the wrong
place at the wrong time,

or a drug dealer
pushed into the life

for lack
of other opportunities.

That's a drug dealer?

Like, a real drug dealer?

Yeah.
Maybe not so loud.

You son of a bitch!

I know it was you!

Whoa. It might have been,

but you're gonna have to be
a little more specific.

Don't play coy with me.

Does the name Hamster Reed
ring a bell?

Hamster?
Is she for real?

No, no,
sorry about that.

Because you k*lled him.

You and that poison
you sling.

♪♪

You need to walk away.

Why?

Is the truth too hard
to stomach?

Hamster may have been a junkie,
but he was my friend.

Sabrina, stop.

You better get this crazy-eyed
Barbie out of my face.

Yeah. No, absolutely.

No problem.
This is just a big

misunderstanding.
She's an actor.

This is her insane way of
getting into character, so...

♪♪

Oh!

Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute!

"m*rder Dance Party,"
right, huh?

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
You -- You --

You were the sexy cheerleader
who got stabbed in the spleen

in the tango scene?
Am I right?

Yes!Uh-huh.

Oh, you --
No, no, no, you were amazing!

You know, I kinda teared up
when you d*ed.

You are so kind.

And, yeah, I was, like,
the best thing

that happened
in that movie.

Oh! Yo, is it cool if I get
a picture with you?

Yeah!
Oh.

This is my good side, so...
Okay, okay, yeah.

Me?
Yeah.

Oh, uh, right.
Fellas, everybody, everybody.

How is this my life?

Okay, everybody,
say "cheese."

Cheese.

Cheese.

One more, just for safety.

You okay?

My whole life,
nothing I have ever done

has been good enough
for my mom -- not --

not my grades,
my boyfriends...

my career.

And this whole time,
she has been a total hypocrite.

Look, uh, maybe, you know,
she's trying to prevent you

from making the same mistakes
she did.

Or she resents me
for reminding her

of the one time in her life
that she messed up.

Lucy, it's --

Oh, uh...

Patrick Walsh.

That's my father's name.

Well, I mean,

at least it's not something
weird, like Dilbert.

You mean
like the cartoon character?

Someone named their kid
Hashtag.

You never know.

So, what are you
gonna do?

Find out the truth.

So, does this sudden interest
in bounty hunting,

does it have anything to do
with Alicia?

Ja, of course, dummy.
Try to keep up.

I'm attempting to win
her love.

Okay, I'm just gonna go ahead
and say it.

Why?

She's the perfection
of women,

a celestial beauty
come to walk upon the earth.

Yeah, who hates you.

Ja, a love language as old
as time itself. You agree?

Okay, no, you don't
get to do that.

It is not cute to pursue a woman
who is not interested.

Understand?

Yes, I do.

Thank you for giving me
this insight.

You're welcome.

Ivy's room
is the next one.

Oh, I'll climb
on the next-door balcony

in case she runs
like a rabbit.

No, you will not.

Great idea.

Who is it?

Uh, it's Kate
from the front desk.

You have a package.

Oh. Thank you
for bringing it up.

Police.
You're under arrest.

Turn around.
Hands behind your back.

Oh, wow.

This hotel suite
is heaven.

Come.
Sit down.

So, Miss Sex Lady,

explain one thing to me.

Why did you run?

Why not just take
a sweet deal?

Any deal would involve
prison time.

The second I step foot inside,
I'm dead.

Seems like plenty
of people on the outside

want you dead, too.

Well, at least, out here,
I have a chance.

So, who has the pull to get
you ex*cuted in prison?

Nice try.

Hey, you need protection.

Making yourself useful
is the only play you have left,

and you know that.

The Dead Bastards.

Um, sorry, who are these
bastards, and how did they die?

Randy, the Dead Bastards
are a motorcycle g*ng.

I can take down
half their leadership.

Doesn't matter what I promise,
they'll never let me live.

Room service.
Oh, I am starving.

What did you order?

I didn't order anything.

Randy, no!

Randy, no!

♪♪

♪♪

7-Adam-15.
We need backup and RA, Code 3.

Hotel Mathilde.
sh*ts fired.

Harper, I need your cuffs.

Ich bin tot?
Yes, you're alive.

And very lucky.

And very rich.

♪♪

Where's my bounty?
Go get her.

I will stay with our gunman.
Control, 7-Adam-15.

In foot pursuit.
Female suspect, black pants,

multicolored top.
Southbound on third floor.

Oh!

♪♪

Hey, stop! Wait!

Bye-bye.

♪♪

Oh, Dead Bastards.
Oh, so colorful.

Tell me, is your club
a fun organization?

Oh, do you have
a clubhouse?

It's not a club.
It's a motorcycle g*ng.

I have
an electric bicycle.

It's fabulous.

7-Adam-15, A to B.
I have identified our sh**t

as a member of
the Dead Bastards.

Copy that.
I do not have eyes on suspect.

She got into the elevator
with Alicia Kaufman.

They're headed down to
the parking garage.

Alicia? Meine liebe.
She's here?

Oh, always so tenacious.

Nolan, there could be
other attackers.

Uh, be on the lookout.

I'll --
I'll call for backup.

Backup is on the way!
Yeah!

Randy, don't...

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Let me go!

Get your legs
inside that car,

or I'll stick my foot
upside your ass!

Alicia!

You both need to come with me
right now.

It isn't safe.

7-Adam-15, I got them in
the parking garage, Level D.

This is my pinch,
my bounty.

Hey, and tell that little
wienerschnitzel Randy

that he never stood
a chance.

Alicia,
you don't understand.

You got Ivy fair and square.
You can keep the bounty.

I don't care.
But someone just tried

to k*ll her,
and he's got friends.

I can handle it.

This isn't my first
pain-in-the-ass bail jumper.

We got to go right now.
Get down.

♪ I'm gone

♪ Gone

♪♪

You need to get back.

Back to the stairs.

I'll cover you till we get to
the next pillar.

Ready? Move.

♪♪

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

Move!

♪ As soon as you blink,
I'm gone ♪

♪♪

Okay.

Almost home free.

You ready?

♪♪

Oh, no.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

Alicia, I'm here!

♪ As soon as you blink,
I'm gone ♪

♪♪

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

Drop your weapons!

♪ Don't try to keep up with me

Get your hands in the air!

Freeze!
Freeze! Freeze!

- Do not move!
- Stay where you are!

- Hands up!
- Face down!

All the way up!

Jeez!

Am I immortal?

A-Am I a god?

No, Randy, you're just very,
very lucky.

And you're gonna hurt like hell
tomorrow.

Aah!
Come on.

Ooh, gotcha.

You're my new best friend.

Aww. Oh. Lucky me.

Okay, good news.
Found another Patrick Walsh.

This guy is very active on
the over-50 dating sites.

Okay, I got to say,
I feel a little awkward

about us stalking my potential
biological father

on social media.

We're just narrowing down
the field.

It's a common name.

By my count, there are six men
that fit the parameters.

My personal favorite is the guy
with the woodworking blog,

because he's artsy and he can
make us a cool table.

I'm glad you're having so much
fun with this.

Oh.

Hello?

Okay.

Yeah. No,
that's all I needed.

Everything okay?

Um, I asked one
of the clerks at work

to run his name with the number
my aunt had.

I'm guessing he's not
the woodworker.

He --

He's dead.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I --
I didn't even know him.

I know, but he's still
the reason you're alive.

You know,
if I'm being really honest,

the fertility questionnaire
was a pressing reason

to find him, but...

I always had this,
um...

idea of him that lingered
in my mind.

I guess I imagined
that we'd eventually meet.

♪ And I'm still surrounded
and bounded tonight ♪

I hate to ask.

Did they say how he d*ed?

Was it genetic?

Um, he was k*lled in a car crash
five years ago.

That's sad.

He had no family,
no wife, no kids.

♪ I'll never let go
of you and me ♪

He was alone.

♪ Because all that I am

Maybe I should have tried
to find him sooner.

Maybe, but he's the one
who made the decision

that he wasn't ready
to be a parent.

Whatever he did
with his life after,

it's not on you.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

♪ I'll be there to carry you
through ♪

Now you can finish
the questionnaire.

Mm-hmm.

Are you disappointed
that we're not gonna get

an artisan table?

Um, a little,

but I think I might still follow
his blog, so...

Mm-hmm.

Congratulations.
Your first bounty.

Your check is in the mail.

Oh, thank you,
Nyla Harper.

Thank you, John Nolan.

I could have done it without
you, but this was more fun.

I guess we'll see you next time
someone tries to skip bail.

Uh, I don't know.

This was all very stressful.

I did not care for
the b*ll*ts.

Maybe I should just
return to Skip Tracer Randy.

Yeah, that --
that might be best.

But on the other hands,
once you've achieved God status,

it's very difficult
to go back.

Well, I'm off.

But I'll see you
in the hospital.

No, no.
No need for that.

Oh, such a kidder.
Bye-bye, new bestie.

Bye, Skip Tracer Randy.

Bye-bye.

Yeah.

He's good. In small doses.
Mm-hmm.

Bye.

To the right,
straight through.

Bye.

Okay.

She's insane.

Yes.

She could have gotten you
k*lled.

I know.
That's why I quit.

I also know
that is not my handiwork.

You had Nolan come in and fix it
when I left, didn't you?

And the mirror in the bathroom
and the fence.

Ah, you could've just asked me
to stop.

I know, but you were
so excited,

and I know how tough
it's been since the suspension.

Hmm. I just didn't think
it would be this hard

not being able to work.

Just want a purpose again.

You will.
Only three more months to go.

♪ Is made up of you

Yeah, I know.

You know, walking around
Curtis' neighborhood today

reminded me how much
still needs to be done.

But in the meantime,
promise to find another way

to fill the void
that doesn't involve

putting holes
in the wall.

Acting seems fun.

Don't you dare.

Salud.

Cheers.

Hey, honey.

Hey, babe.
We're in here.

We?

Oh, yes!

Mein bruder,
mein bester freund!

Welcome home!

You're in my house.

Yes.

Why are you --
Why are you -- Oy!

Why?

Oh, I love
your sense of humor.

Come sit, join us.

Randy texted me
after he left,

wanting to celebrate
their big bounty.

Their? I'm sorry,
why are you with Randy?

Clearly, you hate him.

No, I love him.

That was all a game.
Mmm.

Apparently, Randy and Alicia
are into role play.

As rival bounty hunters?

But you nearly d*ed.

The friction is what
makes the spark, John.

You clearly know
nothing of love.

This must be
very hard for you.

We muddle through somehow.

♪♪

What's muddling?
It sounds very kinky.

Mmm.
I'll show you tonight.

Okay, great.

So glad you're here.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪