02x02 - Puppy Love

[bunniefuu]

Hugh's looking hotter
after our break-up.

That's just rude.

Post break-up, I'm all about sinking
into a duvet with a box of wine.

When did he get a riding outfit?

Oh, those thighs!

- What?
- He looks like...

What's that reality show?

- Royal Single Guy?!
- Yeah.

The season where all
the maidens were Geminis

and the guy ended up
marrying the babysitter.

- Carter Kincaid.
- Yes.

- What a dream.
- Oh...

To think Hugh and I
could be interviewing

babysitters right now,

but I wanted a child-free
life of adventure.

And instead, I'm sad and alone.

Hey. He ain't worth 'dem tears.

There's lots of other guys.

Okay. Babe approaching, o'clock.

Oh, God. Not when I'm like this.

- Okay, look. No. Don't look.
- Okay. Nope.

- Stop. He's here.
- Is that an Aussie mix?

(AUSSIE ACCENT:) Because that's
one fine-looking dog, mate.

Ahoy, it is.

This is Binky and this is Turbo.

Liam - ' .

- And this is Trixie.
- Aw, love Trixie.

I would literally give my life for her.

SHANNON: Aww...

Oh, you're serious.

Happy doggin', y'all.

(BARKING)

Doggin'?

Is that a common term in these parts?

It's new to me, but just go with it.

Ugh. Come on.

♪ Like yeah, we so amazing ♪

♪ Yeah, we do it like that ♪

Ooh, busy bee, look at
that jam-packed skedge!

I'm trying to make a
little space next week,

but between running
errands for my halmonee

and my intro to hip hop class...

Do you think I could
leave early on Thursday?

We're kinda swamped. Why? What's up?

It's just that Tonya
needs me to help her out...

babysitting her baby Monty.

Why?

She said she needed an extra
pair of hands and, well,

she was standing in front of
the fridge and wasn't moving!

I only get an hour for lunch.

She has no right to ask my staff...

No. It's okay. I mean, I have
my babysitting certificate.

It might be expired, but I
think I still know first aid.

Fire, water, gas,
glass, mud, flood, ice...

Just tell Tonya that I need you here.

She's just very intense.

Did you know she ran half a
marathon with only one shoe?

I'll talk to her.

No! Don't! It's fine.

Okay.

(SIGHING) And I missed
my bathroom break.

(KNOCKING)

You selling cookies now?

I brought these for Doris.

Look, if this is a bribe to get me
pull my complaint, I prefer cash.

They're not a bribe.

I made them as a welcome home gift.

BRAN: your mom's favourite.

Bran is no one's favourite.

Is she here?

No. The doctor thought she needed

a few more days in the
hospital, that's all.

- But she's okay?
- Yeah, she's fine.

Actually, it gives me some
time to finish up on the house.

I'm just doing a few renos
to help her get around easier.

Well, maybe I'll go see her.

Yeah. Hey, listen.

She liked that dog
that you brought around.

- Ringo?
- Yeah.

Well, she'd probably just like
some more visits or whatever.

Oh, we've actually got some
big plans for those visits.

It's a whole program
called 'Gran-paws' we...

Cool.

Grande.

Oh, the muffins...

Mmm.

You can really taste the bran.

See ya later.

Jerk.

You measured, right?

What do you think?

I see the measuring cup,
but I suspect it wasn't used.

Ooh, another one in the
books for Agatha Kristian.

I got a live one here!

Where did he come from?

Oh, I was taking out the trash

and caught him snout-deep in the bins.

Been there. Grad night ' .

- Ha-ha-ha!
- Yeah.

German pointers have
noses like metal detectors.

Pointer? I bet we could sell
the crap out of this dingo.

Hey, that kinda goes against the
spirit of the place, but I'm in.

No! He's not even neutered.

I doubt he's chipped, no collar.
Who knows what shape he's in?

Looks fit AF to me.

Where are we on spays?

It was nine, but looks like
we're adding a neuter to the list.

I thought I was done with
the nut jobs, but okay.

We'll schedule him for Friday.
Till then, he's a total baller.

But maybe get the mustard off him.

And over to you.

Make sure you really get
into his nether regions.

Eww.

Try coming face to face with
a pubic bacterial infection

on an incontinent cat
during a heat wave.

True dat. (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

I mean, not that I have lived
experience of it the way that you do.

But I guess that it's not something

you'd want to go out in 'pubic' with.

No, I agree. It's a private matter.

Not for the general 'pubic'.

Yeah, uh, I certainly
wouldn't want any 'pubicity'...

Around... it.

You wanna call it or should I?

- What?
- : A.M.

Your flirt session's time of death.

Just wash the dog,

and give Cleo a rinse
while you're at it.

You know she and I are fighting.

(MEOWING)

So, it's an outreach program,

where our older dogs
spend time with seniors.

Fantastic.

Old on old. Could not
love Gran-paws more.

LIAM: I knew you would.

So, how are we gonna fund this program?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

'Cause I heard we just lost a
sizable donation from a volunteer.

Well, that wasn't for
Gran-paws specifically,

and there's still a chance...

That this Travis guy drops his
elder-abuse complaint against you?

It's more of an elder-misunderstanding.

(KNOCKING)

Is this an okay time?

Oh, this is a perfect time.

I asked Joy to join us, since she's
been helping us with fundraising.

She's come up with an
excellent list of prospects.

So, the Pierce-Wells Foundation for one.

They were a lead donor
on the butterfly dome

at the botanical gardens.

Aw, you know who loves
the botanical gardens?

Monty?

Actually, Scout, my hubbub.

Total plant guy.

But Monty did eat a butterfly last week.

He's a weirdo, you'll see.

(LAUGHING) Can't wait.

But maybe the family talk can wait,

especially when a young,
valued career woman is trying

to be professional,
here, in the workplace.

It's okay.

Her only workplace.

Are you threatening her?

No. No, I'm empowering her.

I'm sorry. What's going on?

Shannon doesn't want
J to babysit for me.

But she doesn't know how to say it.

- Should I go?
- No, no. No, stay.

And you're right Tonya, I don't
think it's appropriate for Joy...

a strong member of our
team, to be babysitting.

But she offered. Right, J?

Maybe because she felt
pressured. And she's busy.

Look at this list.

Maybe I could get somebody some tea.

I'd take a peppermint...

No, no. No tea. And it
isn't your job to offer it,

and neither is...

Why are you even getting
worked up about this?

If you're threatened by
Joy's ability to multitask,

I can easily find someone else.

I'm not. I just don't
think... you know what?

If you do have other work
to do, then feel free to...

Thank you.

This might be a good
time to get my peppermint.

Gonna...

Can I get any... no?

All right.

Mmm.

I could use a bath.

Yeah, we're full, and I
don't have time to deal

with your messed-up sweater.

Oh, no, it's a distressed knit.

Huh.

Listen, I've got some
free time this aft'

and I know dogs need walking,

so I thought maybe I
could take one to the park.

Really? I've never seen you with a dog.

Or any animal, actually.

Well, I'm looking to
tweak my daily practice.

Make new memories, meet new people.

You're trying to pick up.

(CHUCKLING)

Hardly.

Ruby's your girl. Total wiener magnet.

Really?

Uh...

Who wouldn't give that dog a bone?

- Hmm.
- And I just coiffed her.

So, your raggedy sweater,
her sad rescue face?

Winning combo for sure.

Love the encouragement, but
I'd never wear this to the park.

Okay. Happy hunting.

Oh... 'Kay.

Hey.

- Sorry about earlier with Tonya.
- Oh. No problem.

But I would have come at it differently,

if I'd known you'd offered to babysit.

I didn't have a choice. She
was asking without asking.

What did she say, exactly?

It was more about what she didn't say.

People convey a lot through pauses.

And good news!

The Tatterman Foundation,
they want a meeting today.

Oh, that's amazing.

And Martha, who runs the
foundation, super friendly.

She plays the guitar.
Not that I play guitar,

but it might be a good connection point.

That's great, Joy, but...

Don't worry, I'll be the
quiet advisor by your side.

You need stats, I'm
there. Colourful anecdotes?

There! Someone to laugh at your jokes?

(LAUGHING) I'm so there.

I'll be doing the meeting solo.

- Oh.
- You get that, right?

You know, first meeting and all.

Right.

So, I will need you to prep me

on as much as you can beforehand.

You got it.

I actually know very
little about the Tattermans.

Are you serious?

Pfft. No.

But I would love a
refresher... starting now.

But since you haven't seen
him, can I please hang these up?

Yeah, I'm just not
sure what the rules are.

Yazmin, is this guy bothering you?

Everyone bothers me a little.

I just want to hang these up, okay?

Or is it too much to ask

of an animal shelter
to help find an animal?

Is it yours?

Yes! It's Bronco.

I was doing a reno and
I left the door open

to get the tools out of my truck;

he must've slipped out.

We can definitely put these up.

Oh, thank you. I've... I've got...

I've got more pictures.

Maybe you can pass them
around to your staff and...

Maybe another shelter.

- I don't know.
- Aww.

Yeah. He's such a good boy.

You know, he's strong but he's gentle,

he's fierce but friendly,

and he's brown but also light brown.

You have matching cowboy hats.

It was Halloween.

Oh my God.

And that was, you know, for a friend.

Hey, I know this guy.

Had had his muzzle in
our garbage the other day.

Are you sure?

You've seen him?

Yeah, he's in the back.

- Oh!
- Seriously?

Then can you go get him, Paul?

Oh. Yeah. I'm on it.

Gurl, these are wicked knots,

and I know sex hair when I see it.

I just hope it wasn't Toto.
Homeboy's not worth your time.

Hey, Nikki, you sell that pointer yet?

Nah, Lara scooped him from me.

He's gettin' his pucks tucked.

Oh, crap.

Wait! Wait. Don't slice his apples.

It's standard procedure, Paul.

I mean, as a guy, I understand your...

No, no, no, no. His
owner's at reception.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

Wow. Close call.

Okay, buddy, here you go.

Bronco! Hey, pal!

Oh my gosh, you scared
the hell out of me.

I missed you so much! Oh!

Aw, what a cutie.

Oh...

- The dog, obviously.
- Thank you so much for this.

With everything that's going
on, this is a huge relief.

SHANNON: Aww.

Why is he shaved?

Because we thought he
was an intake, I guess.

They were about to cut off his nuts.

What the hell?

You can't just take a dog's
nuts without permission.

We always wait the required time.

Actually, not this time.

Lara said there was a bit of a mix up.

Well, we're dealing with
a lot of dogs right now.

And any responsible pet owner
would have done it already.

Are you calling me irresponsible?

I will let Bronco's
package do the talking.

Hah! You know what?

I'm not gonna stand here
and get lectured by a woman

who's bent on getting
my mother's life savings

and now my dog's... doghood.

You know, if I didn't know any better,

I'd say that you're obsessed with me.

Says the guy who's coming
around here all the time.

Okay, nice meeting ya.

Good luck with the
whole sack/no-sack thing.

(SNIFFING)

Why does he smell like lavender?!

It's me!

It's way too strong!

The bottle slipped, okay?! Thank you.

Should I put these up now?

What do you think?

Hey, there, free for the taking?

Let's hope I'm worth at
least a bottle of wine.

I meant the ball.

Ah, that.

Yeah.

But I'm only asking to start a convo.

Doodle?

Sometimes, if I'm on the phone...

Funny. I'm guessing... collie-doodle.

Sure. She's new. Still
getting to know her.

- Oh.
- Rescue from...

Uzbekistan.

Oh.

A little survivor. How old?

Young adult-ish?

Definitely too young for mimosas.

Have you ever been to Nuevo Huevo's?

Their eggs bennys are to
die for. They have mimosas...

Ooh, looks like your little lady's

doing a dropping just now, so...

She and I are so different.
I can only go at home.

So, you're not gonna pick up after her?

Oh, of course.

I just like to collect it all at once...

At the very end.

Blech. Okay, let's go.

(BARKING)

Swing and a miss.

Is this all they wanna talk about?

Welcome to the dog side, bro.

I mean, wouldn't they
rather know where I brunch?

I walk different dogs.

You think I know what I'm talking about

when I say: Ooh, easy, Buttercup.

He's part husky, all bark, no bite.

Oh, tell me about it!

Do you know Roz and her doggo Slayer?

Of course!

I don't. Tell them
Buttercup says hi. Okay?

Will do.

Her tag says, Rufus.

Well, look at you,

already an expert on
who's who at the park.

I never said I was...

Park fail, ran out of bags.

Trixie's on a mission today.
Any chance I could grab one?

Only if you promise not to give it back.

Okay. Let's go, Ruby.

Ruby is a fantastic name.

Thanks. I didn't choose it.

His boyfriend did, but he d*ed.

I am so sorry.

I'm glad you and Ruby
have each other, though.

Dogs are amazing. They just know.

- They do.
- And what a stunning coat.

Thanks. It's Moroccan wool.

- Her coat.
- Right.

Can I ask where you groom?

Everywhere.

I do all these guys.

Sweet. Yeah. I've been going
to Jared at Puppy Pedis,

but it's not a lotta
splash for your cash.

I feel ya.

You should come by Hamilton
East Animal Shelter.

And our prices are supes competitive.

We do that now?

It's a pilot project.

Well, Trixie and I love a spa day.

As do I.

As does Ruby.

(BARKING)

With brunch being a close second.

Oh my God.

Hey, do we know each other?

We could.

Well, Liam will give you my info...

And his, if you're lucky!

Let's go, bozos!

So, there's this great brunch place...

♪ Ain't no tellin' where
I get it, where I get it ♪

♪ Take a special kind of
lady, I know you feel me ♪

♪ Ain't no telling where
I get it, where I get it ♪

How did it go at the
Tatterman Foundation?

Was Jim there?

Did Martha tell you about her concert?

I think it went well.

They said I have an "almost blindingly
bright outlook" on the shelter.

That's good, right?

Yeah. I'm assuming, yes.

They said they'll have an answer for us

in the next four to eight... weeks.

Oh. And you mentioned that
Liam and Sarah Tatterman

are part of the same condo association?

It didn't come up organically

and I didn't want it to feel forced.

And no talk of the historical connection

to Tatterman's dog breeding?

I know you're upset that
I didn't bring you along.

Because you thought I'd screw up.

Joy, you're doing amazing work.

And one day, you're gonna be ready

to join me on a donor meeting.

So, I'm not good enough for a meeting,

but I'm too good for babysitting
Tonya's weird Montessori baby?

Joy, you want Tonya to respect
you for your work ethic,

and your ability to go the extra mile.

Like you do.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that.

Well, I meant the words,
but the tone was an accident.

Apology accepted.

I accept yours too.

Oh. I didn't apologize.

Right.

♪ Can I just rewind, can I just rewind ♪

♪ Our reality? ♪

♪ Where do we go from here? ♪

Uh-oh, was Ruby trying
to run back to Slovenia?

Ah. That's where she's from.
We went to the park... again.

Got in a few steps, made a friend.

Ooh, playas!

It was the hottie from
the park the other day.

- No!
- He left the park on an e-bike,

so... that's a no.

But then Ruby found a big
stick, chased a skateboard,

and then sat and gave a paw for
treats at the cafe, didn't you?

It was adorable!

Anyway, I have a P.M. Can
you take her back for me?

Of course. Say, "Fanks
fowr da walk, wiam!"

Don't do that.

Okay. Bye.

Rubes. Good girl.

(BARKING)

Watch it, Bronco.

It's the woman that wants
your body for science.

I come in peace.

Hi, Bronco. You wanna say hi to Ruby?

Look, I, uh... I want to apologize.

Go for it.

You were defending your
dog and I admire that.

I understand you were
just doing your best

and you'll do better next time.

It's objectively irresponsible
to have an unchipped dog.

And I know you think it's,
like, edgy to have Bronco's

- packety pack intact...
- Okay, fine.

But this is a commun... I'm sorry, what?

I said, okay, fine. I'll do it.

I have to go to home
hardware tomorrow anyway.

It's not like getting a key cut.

(CHUCKLING) I meant
the vet's on the way.

Oh. Okay, good.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Was there anything you wanted
to apologize for or... ?

No, I'm good.

(DOG PANTING)

SHANNON: Glad one of them is fixed.

Hey, can you point me to Ruby?

She's out with some potential parents.

(BARKING)

LIAM: Oh!

Okay.

'Cause, I brought her...

Whatever this is.

(SQUEAKING)

But we can just add it to the toy pile.

Oh. Sounds good.

- You know, I...
- (SQUEAKING)

Whoa.

(CHUCKLING) Hey.

Look who's got a crush on you!

I think it's my coconut hand cream.

Hey, girl.

Sounds like you'll be
getting out of here soon.

No more walks with this guy.

(INHALING SHARPLY) So, see ya.

Oh, uh, Barkley could
use a walk if you want...

(WHIMPERING)

Or I can do it.

(TOY SQUEAKING)

What are these?

Bladder leak pads.

Oh, that was just a tea stain.

Please. After I had Monty,

I dribbled like a garden hose.

Laughing, sneezing,
yawning, but these are great.

- I can wear suede again.
- Huh.

And, they might sponsor Gran-paws.

My friend Shareen is pals with
their head of corporate giving

and they're dying to meet with us.

Oh. Wow. That is great.

Oh, we also had an excellent meeting

with the Tatterman Foundation.

Joy told me.

She said you haven't heard back.

- Out of curiosity, when did...
- She babysat for Monty.

Look, I'm sorry.

I tried everyone on my sitters list.

Ever since our nanny went back
to Brazil, it's been a scramble.

I just wanted a three
hours to myself at crossfit.

I promise, it will not
change the way I see Joy.

She told me you were concerned
about that and I get it.

She's really lucky to have
you looking out for her.

Thank you.

So...

I don't know.

Are 'intrepid bladder
pads' really the best fit?

Oh, they fit great. I have tried them...

For Gran-paws.

Let's face it,

not a ton of brands are lining up

to sponsor a program for
old people and dying dogs.

Oh, Joy, do you have a sec?

Oh. I'm just, um...

No, it's okay. She knows
about the babysitting.

I'm so sorry.

My hip-hop class was cancelled
and I'm saving for a car.

It's okay. It's a work question.

Intrepid bladder pads, yay or nay?

Oh, I love intrepid.

They're like the Beyoncé of leak pads.

I live with my grandparents.
They're not married.

My dad's mom, and my mom's dad.

They hate each other,
but love their pads.

"Beyoncé of leak
pads", love it, using it!

I mean, if Shannon agrees, that is.

Shannon doesn't work here anymore.

- What?
- What?

I'm kidding! Oh my God, you guys!

We're gonna have so much fun.

Don't get me wrong, I like Tonya,

she just seems very... hands-on.

Trust me, you want that.

If I hadn't had her hands all
over me, I'd still be straight.

Aww. Is Ruby leaving us?

Yeah, new owner, I
mean, if it works out.

Well... goodnight.

What?

- You'll need this.
- To set Ruby up.

But that couple, I thought
they were taking Ruby.

They were.

That was until we realized

that Ruby has already
chosen her forever family.

She said that?

I mean, we're connecting
a few dots here,

but it is pretty clear that
Ruby has made a strong connection

to a certain board chair.

Between us, that Costco couple

was not a fit for a
Slovenian princess like Ruby.

They also wanted a
smaller dog, but sure.

Oh my God! I'm gonna be a dog owner!

Let the shedding begin.

Right.

But all my upholstery's nubuck.

- Not for long.
- I have a great steam cleaner.

Ugh. Let's go. Come on.

(CHUCKLING)

♪ Let's shake it up ♪

♪ It's kinda scary, but
I'm lovin' the rush ♪

♪ My heart is racin' like oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ 'Cause this feels like home ♪

♪ Yeah, it's true ♪

♪ Look in the mirror ♪

♪ And I'm feelin' so good ♪

♪ Yeah, I've been
searchin' like oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ And this feels like home ♪