15x08 - An American Model in Paris

[bunniefuu]

Keeping
Up with the Kardashians...

MJ: So cute.
KRIS: She's so cute.

MJ: Her nose. (Gasps) Hello.
KHLOE: God, she has so much

hair. ]] MJ: So pretty.

KENDALL: I've worked really
hard to be taken seriously and

recognized in the fashion world,
and it's a little bit crazy

sometimes.
I want to get off the plane.

KRIS: Kendall, don't cry.
KENDALL: Anxiety's all

mental, so you have to try and
find your ways around it, but I

think I'm very blessed to be in
the situation I'm in, and every

year that I do this, it gets a
little bit easier.

♪ ♪

KIM: You know who used to
love a good hot yoga?

SCOTT: Hum. (Kim laughs)

(Scott barks)
Is this considered hot yoga

because it's hot out?
KIM: No. Okay.

KHLOE: Do we start sitting?
AMY ROSE: Yeah, just sit.

KHLOE: Takes me a minute to
get down there.

AMY ROSE: Just sit and relax.
(Khloe grunts)

So let's begin.
Let's do one quick breathing

exercise.
We're gonna look over the

shoulder and go...
(exhales forcefully)

(Scott exhales)
Okay. (Exhales forcefully)

KHLOE: Kim, do it. (Kim yelps)

AMY ROSE: Scott, this is for
you.

SCOTT: I'm going.
AMY ROSE: Can you try it,

please? (Scott yelps)

And now take it longer, like...
(exhaling forcefully)

Show some teeth.
(Scott exhales forcefully)

When we look over the shoulder,
we're facing our past.

That's the type of thing that we
could actually send love to.

KHLOE: My sister Kourtney has
to start doing yoga.

She needs to send love to a lot
of places.

AMY ROSE: Well, I think
that's what this is about.

KHLOE: That's crazy.
AMY ROSE: And then do the

down dog.
Okay, I'm gonna give you an

adjustment.
KIM: You guys, I got to get

these braids out.
I'm getting claustrophobic.

SCOTT: They look so painful.
KIM: They are.

KHLOE: That was nice, guys.
SCOTT: You gonna pull those

puppies out? ]] KIM: What?

SCOTT: Braids.
KIM: Yeah, I mean, it's gonna

take hours.
KHLOE: I thought you meant

her boobs. ]] KIM: I'm dying.

Do you have scissors?
SCOTT: I want to cut them.

KIM: Okay, so... to there.
SCOTT: I could probably

sell the (bleep) out of these
things.

KIM: You can cut there.
SCOTT: What, this whole

thing? ]] KIM: Yeah, if you can.

KHLOE: What if that's your
real hair?

SCOTT: That's what I'm worried.

KIM: It's not.
SCOTT: It's like cutting a

carpet.
KIM: God, this is gonna take

hours. Hours!

SCOTT: Oh, this is not for me.

That-that freaks me out. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

KHLOE: Oh, hey, Ye.
What a fun little thing up

there. Oh, my goodness!

KIM: Hi. LARSA: Oh, my God, I'm

obsessed with Saint's hair.
KIM: You ready to go bump

people? All right, let's go.

I say we go out there.
KIM: Don't go too fast.

Don't go too fast, okay?
LARSA: Northie, do you know

what you're doing?
KIM: Oh, my goodness!

(laughs) (screaming)

She gets it! She gets it!
(all shouting)

LARSA: Who do you want to
bump into?

Hell yeah. KIM: Get Saint! Yeah!

Saint's coming to get...
(screaming) We got you.

Saint got us.
Having three kids, honestly, is

crazy.
I remember it was really hard

for North when Saint was born,
so I kind of put everything into.

North to make her feel extra
special.

Okay, stop. Ah!
Don't run into the wall. Ah!

Okay. Yeah. Okay, hold on.

I got to unbuckle you, booboo.
And now with Chicago, I'm trying

to work, like, even double hard
to make sure North and Saint

feel like they have enough time
with me and they feel super

loved and that no one's gonna
take their place.

Whoo! MAN: Look at that parking

job. KIM: Did you have so much

fun? (Saint babbles)

Ooh! Let's have a little bit of

pizza.
KHLOE: Anyone else want an

ice cream while it's open?
NORTH: Me!

KHLOE: Vanilla with chocolate?

SAINT: Me. ]] KIM: Oh.

NORTH: I want it.
SAINT: Look, ice cream.

KHLOE: Oh, right here. ♪ ♪

NORTH: Mwah.
KIM: Say, "Bye, Dad."

♪ ♪

JEN: So we're going straight
to the airport after this?

WOMAN: Yes, ma'am. To go to
the next city, next continent.

JEN: So we're pretty much
going around the world in, like,

four days.
KENDALL: This is none other

than Jen Atkin.
JEN (whispering): Of

hair, the Kobe Bryant of hair.
KENDALL (whispering): Brian?

JEN: The Kobe Bryant of hair.
KENDALL: Oh, Kobe Bryant of

hair, got you.
Should put that in, like, if you

put a title for her, it should
say, "Kobe Bryant of hair."

This is your first interview.
JEN: I'm scared.

KENDALL: Welcome. (Chuckles)
Don't be scared.

No, you could talk to me, you
could talk to the cameras.

JEN: Okay. Hi. This is so fun.

KENDALL: I, like, for the
past five years, have had to

travel a lot by myself, so it's
always really nice to have

people that are, like, family
traveling with you.

JEN: Kris Jenner jokes that,
like, she has a built-in

babysitter now with me 'cause I
just travel the world with.

Kendall.
We're going all the way around

the world.
KENDALL: This is my third or

fourth time doing that.
JEN: You should get, like...

KENDALL: A medal every time?
We are in Shanghai.

We're on our way to our event.
I am launching a shoe for.

Adidas. It is their first, like,

women-only shoe, so I'm super
excited.

From Shanghai, we go to
France...

JEN: Just around the world...
KENDALL: For the next

launch, yeah.
JEN: In literally, like,

four days.
KENDALL: I'd like to explore,

like, more of China, though.
JEN: Yeah.

KENDALL: When they're this
quick, you almost, like, forget

it even happened. ]] JEN: Yeah.

KENDALL: Your body's just so
blacked out for, like, four

days, three days.
JEN: You're just numb.

KENDALL: Yeah. (Crowd cheering)

♪ ♪

ASSISTANT: There's gonna be,
like, people.

JEN: Kendall, are you nervous?

KENDALL: No. ♪ ♪

KENDALL: Oh, my God, who
makes your shoes?

They're so cute.
FAN: They're from Japan.

KENDALL: They're really cute,
super cool.

Thanks. Bye.
WOMAN: This is Jane.

KENDALL: Hi. How are you?
How tall are you?

JANE: One... Uh, ' .
KENDALL: Oh, okay.

This is what I look like when
I'm wearing heels?

(laughter)
She's my height without heels.

Now I'm like, "Wait."
JEN: This is how you make us

feel. ♪ ♪

MASON: Mommy.
KOURTNEY: Yeah, babe?

MASON: Look what I made.
KOURTNEY: (gasps) You made

that? ]] KIM: That's awesome.

KOURTNEY: That's so cool.
KIM: You drew that?

Did you trace it? MASON: Yeah.

KOURTNEY: And then colored it.

Why don't you put it on your
bulletin board?

MASON: Okay. KOURTNEY: Okay.

So good, Mase.
KIM: So Kanye and I,

everything was, like, fine,
like, the next day.

KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.
KIM: But I was annoyed.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
Did you tell him that I called...

That he called me?
KIM: No, but you know what

the fight was?
You know what started it?

Before I was like, "I'm filming,
I got to go."

KOURTNEY: He wanted you to
post some photos.

KIM: He wanted me to post six
Polaroids from that sh**t that I

posted, those, like, nude
pictures.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
KIM: I posted one from the

beach.
He wanted them to all match up

and be all from the motel.
That's what the (bleep) fight

was.
And I'm like, "I like the beach"

one. "He's like, " No. You h...

You don't understand.
I see the vision."

I mean, our fights are really
stupid and, lately, we've been

having a lot.
I think so many husbands feel

neglected when you just start
having kids, and then they, all

of their attention gets taken
away.

He said they have to be back to
back to back, and I'm like, "I

want my fragrance thing up."
He's like, "(bleep) your

fragrance for one day.
You need six motel ones.

Why'd you post the beach one?
You got to delete the beach

one."
And I was like, "Oh, my God, I

can't, like, sit here and
organize my Instagram with you,

like, who cares about this?"
And he's like, "I care, I care,

trust me."
So he's, like, always right in

the end. ♪ ♪

But I just am, like, it's my
Instagram, you're not gonna tell

me what to post.
That's, like, the one thing.

Like, no one will tell me what
to post.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
KIM: I'm allowed to have an

opinion. ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah.

We make it known. (Kim laughs)

♪ ♪

KIM: So Scott just texts me
that he wants to have another

baby. ]] LARSA: Oh, my God.

Scott wants to have another
baby?

KIM: Yeah. LARSA: With who?

KIM: With Kourtney.
LARSA: I was joking. Um...

KIM: I think he just wants
one more.

LARSA: Well, she definitely
wants more kids.

KIM: And she wants one more.
LARSA: If they both want to

have more kids, like, why not
have them together?

Their kids are gorgeous, like...
KIM: I mean, it's, like,

Scott has a girlfriend, Kourtney
has a boyfriend, we get it, so

they don't even have to have
sex.

LARSA: Totally.
KIM: It could be, like, IVF.

LARSA: It's just so much
easier to have the same dad, I

think.
KIM: I have to tell the rest

of the family to be, like, guys,
should we encourage this?

'Cause, like, how cute will that
be?

Like, they have to have another
baby.

LARSA: So you're basically
gonna facilitate this?

KIM: I'm trying to.
LARSA: You need backup.

KIM: Yeah.
I got to write a group e-mail.

If she's gonna have another
baby, like, why don't they just

have one together even if
they're not together.

I mean, I would want all my four
kids with the same person.

LARSA: Totally.
KIM: I think that I do hold

on to this, like, hope of
Kourtney and Scott, just because

I'm so used to them being
together.

Like, when I got pregnant with
North, I had no idea if Kanye

and I were gonna end up
together.

I was, like, we can break up,
but let me just at least have

some sperm, so, like, I can have
another one, so I could have

siblings, and then, like, you
know, it'll be all good.

(ringtone playing) LARSA: Yeah.

KIM: Oh, wait, Khloe's calling.

Hello? ]] KHLOE: Kim.

KIM: Yeah?
KHLOE: Did you, like, you

completely left Kourtney on that
(bleep) e-mail, did you know

that? ]] KIM: Wait, what e-mail?

The one that I just sent about
the baby?

No (bleep) way! ]] KHLOE: Yes.

Oh, my, I knew you didn't
(bleep) mean to leave her on.

KIM: Oh, my God.
KHLOE: Are you and Kanye

good?
KIM: We had a fight 'cause I

wouldn't give him a Band-Aid.
I'm exhausted, like, go get your

own Band-Aid.
I'm not gonna have a

full-fledged fight 'cause I
won't get you a Band-Aid.

(Khloe laughs)
KOURTNEY: I yelled at Kim.

I just cussed her out like
you've never seen.

KHLOE: Really?
KOURTNEY: I just don't relate

to backstabbing, manipulating,
lying.

♪ ♪

KHLOE (on phone): Kim, you
completely left Kourtney on that

(bleep) e-mail.
Did you know that?

KIM: No (bleep) way. KHLOE: Yes.

KIM: I was talking about
Kourtney in the e-mail as if she

wasn't on the e-mail.
I thought it was, like, a cute

thing.
I was just gossiping with the

family, but it definitely looks
like I was trying to talk about

her, like, without her knowing.
LARSA: I mean, everyone knows

you tell everyone everything.
KIM: I know, shouldn't

everyone know that I have a big
mouth by now?

Why is Scott even talking to me?
I have a big mouth.

Like, don't talk to me.
I have to send another e-mail

and be like, "Hey, guys..."
LARSA: April Fools?

It's not (bleep) April.
KIM: No, like, I gotta, like,

cover it up.
LARSA: I feel like send

another e-mail right now and
just tell her.

Just be like...
KIM: No, I got to send

another e-mail as a cover-up.
Okay, let me think about what to

say. I'll call you back, bye.
KHLOE: Okay, bye.

KIM: Okay, (bleep), (bleep),
(bleep).

LARSA: She hasn't even read
it, so just be like...

KIM: Well, she's with Simon.
If he can just take her phone

and delete that e-mail.
LARSA: That's a good idea,

actually. (Line ringing)

(Kim sighs)
You're in trouble. (Laughs)

KIM: I know, I'm in big trouble.

Why isn't he answering?
North is there with them.

Should I call North?
LARSA: Call North's nanny?

(line continues ringing)
KIM: He's not (bleep)

answering.
I bet North is on his phone

playing games.
RECORDED VOICE: Two, one...

KIM: Okay, well... I'm (bleep).

♪ ♪

MARY: Um, so what should we
do while we're in Paris?

I mean, we have two days.
KENDALL: Um, I don't know.

I usually just lay low.
JEN: Do you want to do

something fun?
Like, we can go to Disneyland.

KENDALL: I'm here for work.
Like, I never do anything.

I usually just, like, sit
around.

JEN: I know, but that's
what's so fun.

I feel like nobody's here,
you have two days off.

KENDALL: Yeah.
JEN: You're always working,

and you need to have a better,
like, work-life balance.

What should we do, guys?
We could go to Versailles.

KENDALL: Mm, I've been to
Versailles before, though.

I want to go places that I don't
go to.

Like, I'm here all the time, but
I always go to the same places

and do the same thing.
JEN: Yeah. We could do

horseback riding.
You love horses.

KENDALL: I know, but, like...
what?

JEN: I literally have never
been on a horse, but I will do

whatever you want.
KENDALL: Good.

JEN: I'll get on a horse for
you.

KENDALL: (chuckles)
I'm still trying to cope with my

ongoing anxiety, but traveling
the world with two of my good

friends, I feel like that's my
sanity in it all.

It's a good mixture.
Jen's the crazy, I'm the crazy,

and then Mary comes and settles
us all down.

JEN: I feel like I appreciate
L.A. more when I'm away, and

then when I'm in L.A. for too
long, I go crazy.

I go stir crazy.
KENDALL: No, see, I don't

anymore; I used to. JEN: Really?

We don't have, like, a lot of
culture in L.A.

KENDALL: Hollywood, baby.
What-what are you talking about?

JEN: Calm down, Hollywood baby.

KENDALL: It's Holly... I mean,
it's like we have so much, like,

movie history.
Like, Hollywood, like, it's,

like, the home of, like,
glamour, no?

JEN: Yeah. KENDALL: And, like,

celebrities.
JEN: And Beverly Hills Juice.

Company. ]] KENDALL: Yeah.

JEN: That's history. (Laughs)

♪ ♪

EMMA: We're here on set
sh**ting our summer campaign.

KOURTNEY: Hey-ya, Khlo.
How long are you here?

KHLOE: Till, like, : or : .

KOURTNEY: So, um, I almost
had a heart att*ck today.

KHLOE: What happened?
KOURTNEY: I yelled at Kim.

I just cussed her out like
you've never seen.

KHLOE: Really?
Did she cuss you back?

KOURTNEY: No, I just said,
"I'm actually just concerned for

who you are as a human being."
Looping people in like that and,

like, trying to take me off
and... whatever.

I was like, "It's so (bleep)
up."

I just feel like it never ends
with my sisters and I fighting.

The topic of Scott and I having
a fourth kid has never even been

discussed, so I don't know where
this is coming from.

You know, I'm in a relationship,
and now, like, just sending an

e-mail behind my back is just
so... malicious.

Kim also tried to pretend as if
she knew that I was on the

e-mail chain, and that just made
it worse.

I don't understand why Kim is
involved in this at all.

Like, I have a boyfriend, Scott
has a girlfriend.

And I just don't relate to...
backstabbing, manipulating,

lying.
We were raised better to know

how important loyalty is, and
that that's not how you treat

your family members.
KHLOE: You don't got to do

that again.
KOURTNEY: Oh, no, I'm fine.

KHLOE: Oh, I thought you
were gonna cry.

KOURTNEY: No, I'm more like,
"Get the (bleep) out of here!"

That's more my vibe.
KHLOE: Okay.

KENDALL: The show never fails
to surprise me.

JEN: Yeah, it makes me feel
just lazy as a woman.

It's just so...
KENDALL: I feel like I need

to go to the gym when I leave.
JEN: Oh, shut up, you're a

model. ♪ ♪

SCOTT: It's so weird how
everybody's having kids like

boom, boom, boom!
KIM: Why do you want a

fourth? KOURTNEY: Kim, I think

your, like, your dream in life
is to just be, like, the town

gossip. ]] SCOTT: What happened?

♪ ♪

KENDALL: Hello.
This is definitely the most cas

I've ever been coming to Crazy
Horse.

JEN: Me, too.
MAN: Follow me, please.

KENDALL: I want, like, wine.
JEN: Okay, let's do a bottle

of that.
KENDALL: Crazy Horse is, I

guess... What do you consider it,
like, a burlesque bar?

JEN: It's more like an art,
like, exhibit show.

KENDALL: Yeah.
The show never fails to, like,

surprise me.
JEN: Yeah, it makes me feel

just lazy as a woman.
KENDALL: Yeah.

JEN: I feel like I need to
put my back into it more.

KENDALL: Right.
JEN: It's just so...

KENDALL: I feel like I need
to go to the gym when I leave.

JEN: Oh, shut up, you have
their bodies, you weirdo.

KENDALL: I literally don't.
I'm, like, nine feet tall.

JEN: Says the supermodel.
KENDALL: Those girls are,

like, the perfect ' .
JEN: What?

KENDALL: Yes. Right?
JEN: You're saying the extra

two inches you have is a bad
thing? Wow.

KENDALL: I guess I'm only
three inches taller than that.

JEN: I'll take those two
inches you don't want.

♪ ♪

KENDALL: The girl in the
middle's boobs are amazing.

JEN: I know. ♪ ♪

(applause) ♪ ♪

KENDALL: We're going to the
gym in the morning.

JEN: Yeah.

(cheers and applause)

KENDALL: Wow.
JEN: That was amazing.

KENDALL: Hi, hi. Hi.
ANDREE: Nice to meet you.

KENDALL: How are you?
I'm Kendall.

Nice to meet you, too.
Hi. Kendall. How are you?

JEN: Has anyone ever had a
wig fall off?

WOMEN: Yes. (Laughter)

PERFORMER: It's horrible.
JEN: No! I would die.

Oh, no.
MANAGER: They've had their

thongs fall off. ]] JEN: Oh, no!

KENDALL: You always wear
something under, right?

WOMAN: No. No. JEN: Oh, my God.

How do you keep the triangle on?
WOMAN: We can't tell you the

secrets. (Laughter)

JEN: Too much information.
Too much information.

WOMAN: None of anybody's
business, but there are secrets.

Like, certain things, the way...
What we do, we don't tell.

JEN: Do you have any extra wigs?

Come in, come in, Ken. Hurry.
KENDALL: What's happening?

JEN: Instagram. I want wigs.

WOMAN: I have a wig.
JEN: Oh, my God, yes.

For one picture, please? Ooh.

Yes, that's so dope.
Let me change the light up a

little bit. Oh, my God. Amazing.

Learn from the Crazy Horse.
So, I know that you are not

working, but I feel like I'm all
about getting pictures when

you're on a pseudo work-type
vacay.

KENDALL: I know, and
honestly, I've been into it more

lately, I will say.
JEN: You're a model.

You're on / .
It's just too good to pass up.

KENDALL: Me?
I'm too good to pass up?

JEN: The moment. KENDALL: Okay.

JEN: You in the moment.
KENDALL: My face, right?

JEN: Yes, your beautiful,
inspiring face.

Crazy. Beautiful.

WOMAN: Thank you. KENDALL: Yay.

(indistinct chatter)
Thank you, guys.

Nice to meet everyone.
Nice to meet you.

Oh, my God.

We'll be back, I'm sure.
Bye, guys.

WOMAN: Thank you. Thank you.
KENDALL: Bye.

♪ ♪

KIM: So, Kourtney called and
fully cussed me out yesterday.

KHLOE: She told me at the sh**t.

KIM: Let's call Simon Huck.
(line ringing)

SIMON: Hey. ]] KIM: Hey.

Wait, I heard North was, like, a
wild animal eating.

SIMON: (laughs)
She... I mean, there's a lot of

butter going on. (Laughter)

There's a lot of...
There's a lot of butter.

Like, butter is on everything,
butter is in the water.

The water... ]] KHLOE: Ew.

SIMON: In the water-butter.
KHLOE: Ew.

SIMON: And then we're gonna
potentially have a sip of the

water-butter, and then the water
and the butter is in the hair.

KHLOE: Oh, my God.
SIMON: She was so cute,

though.
KIM: Wait, so you were with.

Kourtney. ]] SIMON: Yes.

KIM: Did she say anything
about that crazy e-mail I sent?

SIMON: She was livid.
(Kim laughs)

Uh-huh.
She was like, "I cannot believe"

this bitch."
KIM: She screamed at me like

none other.
Like, you have no idea how

someone can scream like that.
Kourtney's really, really,

really mad at me, and I get it.
But I didn't think it was

this deep secret.
And I just wanted to tell the

family.
I don't know why Kourtney is

taking this so personally.
She needs to get over it.

KHLOE: She said this was a
joke of a family.

KIM: But she, but s-she
thinks we're all crazy, we're

all a joke, we're all whatever.
KHLOE: She says we have no

loyalty.
SIMON: She also thinks that

you guys g*ng up on her.
The first thing she said: "You"

know, Kim's changed.
Kim's a whole new person.

I don't even know Kim."
(Kim laughs)

I said, "Well, what about Khloe?
You and Khloe are close."

"No, she's changed, too."
KIM: Yeah. So, so Khloe

and I... KHLOE: It's everyone.

KIM: Have just had these
crazy life changes to where

we're completely different
people.

Like, we're in our late s.
That doesn't happen.

(laughs)
JEN: I've never been on a

horse.
KENDALL: If you guys don't

want to ride, Jen, you don't
have to.

JEN: No, I'm gonna. (Grunts)

Oh, my dear.
KENDALL: I don't know.

JEN: You think this is a bad
idea?

(horse neighs) Oh, boy.

KRIS: What's going on with Kim?

Did you sit down and talk to
her?

KOURTNEY: Honestly, I'm just,
I don't even want to look at

her.
Going behind someone's back,

it's not okay.
It's not something I will accept

in my life.
We don't share each other's

personal business.

♪ ♪

KHLOE: Okay. KIM: Pain? Cramp?

KHLOE: Yeah. What is that?
I'm just going into labor.

It's fine. ]] KIM: (chuckles)

This morning, Saint was so cute.
Look, I even videoed him.

(over phone): Who is that,
Saint?

Saint, who is this?
SAINT: Baby Chi.

KIM: So cute.
(over phone): She's so sweet.

KHLOE: Aw. ]] SAINT: Daddy.

KHLOE: Are you and Kanye good?

KIM: Last night, I was just,
like, not in, like, the best

mood. ]] KHLOE: Oh, no.

KIM: I was just, like, tired.
I got home, and I was like,

"Hey," and then I was, like, on
my computer, and then he was

like, "Hey, um, babe, will you
get off your computer?"

Like, let's t... I want to talk,
like, let's hang out."

And I was like, "Okay, will you
give me ten minutes?"

I'm on a deadline."
I really was like, "I have to

get this done."
And then Saint's like, "Mommy,

Mommy, let's go take a bath,"
I go, "Okay."

And I shut the computer, and
he's like, "You're gonna go take"

a bath with him, and then... but
I asked to hang out and talk

and you wouldn't?"
And I was like, "Oh, my God,

I'm sorry."
KHLOE: Maybe just take a bath

with Kanye, and it will all be
better.

KIM: And then we had a fight
'cause I wouldn't get him a.

Band-Aid.
I said, "Did you look in the"

proper place?
There's a Band-Aid here."

He didn't like that one.
So he wanted another one.

A Band-Aid there,
and I put it on him.

He didn't like the color of the
Band-Aid.

And so we went upstairs in the
kids room, and I go, "Oh, look",

North has Jesus Band-Aids.
Put on a Jesus Band-Aid."

And then he was like, "I've
slaved around the world, making"

clothes for you to make sure
that you find the best outfit,

"and you let me go out wearing a
Jesus Band-Aid?"

KHLOE: Aw.
KIM: He said I should've got

a skin-colored Band-Aid.
And I'm like, "So I'm running"

around to find three (bleep)
different color Band-Aids?

"When I have three kids to look
after."

When you have three kids, it's
kind of a wild household, so I'm

kind of annoyed, 'cause I wish
he would understand also, like,

I'm exhausted.
Like, "Go get your own."

Band-Aid."
Just because I didn't give birth

to this baby doesn't mean that
my plate is not totally full.

So I said, "Call the
housekeeper."

Let's have her get a Band-Aid."
He's like, "Well, why can't you

get it?
You would get Saint one."

And I'm like, "Oh, my God, are
you fighting with Saint?"

Is this... are you... is this,
like, a thing?"

I was like, "This is not gonna
be this way."

And I'm not gonna have a
full-fledged fight 'cause I

"won't get you a Band-Aid.
I'm sorry."

KHLOE: But if that's gonna
make him feel better, just to

get him a Band-Aid...
KIM: I can't.

That's where I draw the line.
KHLOE: But if that's gonna

make him feel more loved, don't
you want to just get the.

Band-Aid?
Sometimes, like, men still want

to be treated as, like, the
first baby.

Kimberly, I know, is so
overwhelmed, and I think

sometimes that's easy to maybe
get distracted or, 'cause you

know that they're adults, they
can take care of themselves, but

your husband still wants you to
take care of him.

And I'm sure, with three kids,
you're tired at the end of the

day, and you don't make that
a priority.

But she really has to. I get it.

I just want everyone to be
happy, and if a Band-Aid makes

someone happy, just get the
Band-Aid.

KIM: Yeah. So I feel like...

KHLOE: I might be falling
asleep.

KIM: (laughs)
All right, let's go.

♪ ♪

KENDALL: So romantic.
JEN: Remember, you came to my

wedding dinner?
It was five people.

KENDALL: Remember you t-tried
to steal Kim and Kanye's shine?

JEN: No, I didn't at all.
I simply just eloped.

KENDALL: Which I love.
I literally want to run to the.

City Hall and get married.
And just be like, "(bleep) it",

let's go right now."
Just, like, spur of the moment.

JEN: Yeah.
Like, who are you gonna marry?

You do not have, like, a type,
at all.

KENDALL: I don't have a type.
You cute, you cute.

Like, who am I gonna marry?

JEN: God, you're gonna have
your pick of the litter.

You should just be ho'ing it up
as much as you can.

MARY: For sure.
JEN: Take it from us.

We ho'd it up. (Laughter)

It's great. No regrets.
KENDALL: A piece of advice

that my dad always, like, told
me: Like, in a relationship,

like, when you meet someone
young, the hardest thing to do

is change with them, like,
you're with them for so long.

JEN: That's why I think you
shouldn't get married until

you're, like, in your late s.
KENDALL: Actually, I'm not

planning on anything.
JEN: Who knows? You might not

even want to get married.
Your generation probably

is gonna be like, "Ugh, marriage
is so old-fashioned."

Like, who cares?"
KENDALL: No, I want to get

married.
JEN: "Who needs labels?"

(laughs) ♪ ♪

KHLOE: Ooh.
KRIS: Look at how cute

this is.
KHLOE: I've done yoga with,

um, Kim and Scott out here.
It's like, so nice.

KOURTNEY: I don't think yoga
is Kim's thing.

KHLOE: I just like to do it
as a... together, and, like, to

work on our vaginas.
That's such a good thing.

KOURTNEY: I know, but I just
don't think yoga's her thing.

KHLOE: Are you working on
your vag*na now?

KOURTNEY: Yeah. You reminded me.

KRIS: You should ask Dr. A if
you're supposed to be tightening

it, or just letting it go for a
second?

KOURTNEY: You are, Mom. No.
KRIS: 'Cause it has to open.

KOURTNEY: No, you need to
tighten it, because you need to

strengthen your pelvic floor.
KHLOE: Let it go.

KOURTNEY: For giving birth.
KHLOE: And you're gonna let

your whole (bleep) body go.
KRIS: What?

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
KRIS: Anyway. So what's going

on with Kim?
Did you sit down and talk to

her?
KOURTNEY: Honestly? I'm just,

I don't even want to look at
her, after the whole e-mail

situation.
KRIS: I don't think she wants

to hurt your feelings, I think
she just communicates

differently.
KOURTNEY: Don't even say

anything, 'cause there's-there's
somebody in this situation who's

right and who's wrong.
KRIS: Okay.

KOURTNEY: So it's nothing...
You're not gonna, like, try to

make this an equal thing.
KRIS: I'm just trying to...

KOURTNEY: She did something
really malicious...

KRIS: There's two sides.
There's three sides.

KOURTNEY: Backstabbing and
actually evil.

Going behind someone's back,
it's not okay.

It's not something I will accept
in my life.

KRIS: Okay, but tomorrow's
not promised.

KOURTNEY: Mom.
KRIS: So I think that...

KOURTNEY: But you never...
you just say these little things

here and there, but you also
don't understand how to make a

change for the future.
My mom's totally wrong when it

comes to the situation with Kim.
We're supposed to protect each

other from this kind of stuff,
and we don't share each other's

personal business.
I feel like Kim needs to realize

that she shouldn't be, like,
involved in the decisions that

are made in my life.
KRIS: Maybe you should handle

it sooner than later.
KOURTNEY: Hmm, I'm good.

♪ ♪

KENDALL: They're making us
wear helmets, Jen.

JEN: But our hair's perfect.
Okay.

Nobody told me we'd be wearing a
helmet.

KENDALL: If you guys don't
want to ride, Jen, you don't

have to. ]] JEN: No. I'm gonna.

Okay. You got it? KENDALL: Hi.

JEN: Oh, my God, it's
charging at me.

Go for it. Oh, my dear.

Her hair is sopping wet. Okay.

ATTENDANT: Put your feet in
the stirrups.

JEN: I just want to dry their
hair, and style it.

(Kendall laughs) Okay. Oh, boy.

Oh, this is, this is... (grunts)

KENDALL: Jen?
ATTENDANT: Yes. Good?

JEN: I don't know... What?

KENDALL: I don't know.
JEN: You think this is a bad

idea?
KENDALL: Are you sure you're

comfortable?
JEN: I've ridden a camel

before.
KENDALL: I know, but I feel

like it's not the same.
JEN: Don't worry, I have a

good life insurance policy.
Oh, my God, someone's peeing.

Jesus Christ. Okay. All right.

(laughs)
This is a dream come true.

It's like a fairy tale, guys.
KENDALL: Let's go.

JEN (quietly): Help.
KENDALL: (gasps) You guys.

JEN: Oh, wow. Ooh.
MARY: Look at that.

KENDALL: Oh, my God.
This is so dreamy.

JEN: It's literally a Disney
movie.

That's really nice.
What is this timing?

Literally, the sun just came up.
KENDALL: This is so amazing

right now. What is happening?

Dreams do come true, guys.

Jen looks phenomenal, honestly.
JEN: You're such a liar.

KENDALL: I was really nervous
at first, 'cause the horse kind

of was freaking out when you
first got on.

How crazy?
I come to Paris all the time,

and never do things like this.
You honestly...

JEN: You'd be brave.
I was so freaked out.

KENDALL: Pulled your
(bleep) together and you're

k*lling it.

JEN: It's even prettier in
video.

Oh, it's frozen.
Well, the (bleep) Wi-Fi in the

castle isn't so great.
It's all right.

(groans) ♪ ♪

KHLOE: Mom! Hi, gorge.
KRIS: Hey.

KHLOE: Where are you going
with your diamonds, darling?

KRIS: Over to your house.
KHLOE: Wow.

KRIS: Wow. Is that a new watch?

KHLOE: Yeah.
Well, I got it for Xmas.

KRIS: From who?
KHLOE: Uh, one-one of my

boyfriends. Uh, Tristan.

KRIS: That's what he gave you?

KHLOE: Yeah, but he hates it.
He gave it 'cause I wanted it.

And bought me two other faces
'cause he hates the red face.

KIM: I wish I could get a
new face.

KHLOE: I want a real new
face, you know that.

(laughter)
KIM: So I feel like I should

do something for Kanye.
KHLOE: For Valentine's Day?

KIM: Yeah. ]] KHLOE: Aw.

KRIS: That's cute.
KHLOE: He just wants a

little, just a little bit of
affection.

KIM: Yeah. Um...
KRIS: What do you get

somebody for Valentine's Day
these days?

KIM: I don't know what to do.
After my conversation with.

Khloe, the one thing that I
realized is I make such a

priority for all the kids, and I
go above and beyond for them,

but in that, I'm fully
neglecting my husband.

So I just want to give Kanye,
like, the attention and the love

that he needs.
You know, I think we have to

just think of, like, all the
things that I don't do.

Like, I should give, like,
"Here's a coupon book of five

massages. Here's a coupon..."

KHLOE: But will you do them
when he gives them to you?

KIM: But I'm, like, give a
massage for, like, two seconds

and I'm like... (Kris laughs)

KHLOE: That's actually a cute
idea if you did that.

Like, ten free hugs.
KIM: I did give two... I did

give two massages and I went to
the studio twice.

KRIS: You would've been the
greatest masseuse...

KHLOE: I know.
KRIS: In the world.

You used to give the best
massages when you were, like,

. KHLOE: No. You used to make

me give you massages when I was
.

(Kris laughs)
She bought me a massage table

when I was .
For Christmas, she bought me a

massage table.
I've never asked for one.

And she set it up in her room
and said, "You could practice on"

me."
If you had it your way, I would

be a masseuse living in your,
like, attic and then coming down

to rub your back and your weak
neck from time to time.

"Go back up to your attic now,
Khloe, you're done for the day."

KRIS: (laughs) Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

KENDALL: Look at the castle!
Oh, more. This place is so cute!

Is anyone not going or is
everyone going?

JEN: Will you scream out,
"Picture," when it's picture?

KENDALL: I'm gonna do this.
Like, we should, like, be really

cool about it. (All shouting)

(all screaming) ♪ ♪

MAN: Kendall! Kendall, please!

STYLIST: That's so cute.
KENDALL: So pretty.

♪ ♪
Hello. Hi.

KENZA: I'm Kenza.
KENDALL: Kendall. You're

what? ]] KENZA: Kenza.

Kendall, Kenza. ]] KENDALL: Oh.

(Kenza laughs)
You want to take a pic?

WOMAN: Hi. KENDALL: How are you?

I'm Kendall.
WOMAN: Oh. You are my

inspiration.
KENDALL: Oh, thank you.

WOMAN: You are so great, so
pretty and...

KENDALL: Thank you. So are you.

WOMAN: You are my favorite
model and my favorite Angel.

KENDALL: Oh, thank you.
WOMAN: Can I have your sign?

KENDALL: Sure. Of course.
WOMAN: It's the first time I

see you and, uh, it's a dream.
KENDALL: Oh! Thank you.

I'm so excited to meet you.
There you go.

WOMAN: And a silly face.
KENDALL: For going around the

world in three days, I think we
had a really nice time and we

made the most of it.
I think this trip was a good

reminder for both of us.
'Cause we both work really hard.

We love working, but we have to
remind ourselves to, like, take

time for us.
JEN: Yeah. We didn't work

that much.
KENDALL (laughing): No, we

didn't. ]] JEN: We played a lot.

KENDALL: We did play a lot,
which is great.

JEN: But literally, like,
jumping horses and just, like,

the whole thing.
Lucky to be alive right now.

That was so scary.
KENDALL (laughing): Lucky to

be alive. Bye! Thank you!

MAN: Thank you. KENDALL: Bye.

(people shouting)

♪ ♪

(Kourtney grunts)
KIM: P, will you come babysit.

Baby Chi for me? No?

SCOTT: It's so weird how
everybody's having kids like

boom, boom, boom, so it's
like... doesn't seem as crazy.

But it's still, like, a huge
deal.

KIM: And to think you want a
fourth.

Why do you want a fourth?
SCOTT: No, that's not true.

KOURTNEY: Kim, I think
your, like, your dream in life

is to just be, like, the town
gossip.

SCOTT: What happened?
KIM: I share business with

people.
Of Kourtney's, behind her back.

♪ ♪
Kanye is really into, like, the

small, little, cute things, so I
need to really just, like, be a

little bit more thoughtful.
I think I've definitely gotten

better with that after this.
Oh, my God, I love these shoes.

♪ ♪
SCOTT: What happened?

KIM: I share business with
people.

Of Kourtney's, behind her back.
SCOTT: Oh. Well, I could see

'cause Kourtney's very private
and...

KIM: She's so private.
You know, she just... shared the

birth of her child on a show.
KOURTNEY: Yeah, but it's my

choice what I share.
SCOTT: So you have some new

boundaries.
KOURTNEY: Things I've learned

over time. KIM: If you look up

"boundary" in the dictionary,
Kourtney's picture is right

there. ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah. Good.

KIM: So...
KOURTNEY: There is a thing

called healthy boundaries to
live a happy life.

You wouldn't like it if Kanye
came and told me something

personal about you, and I sent
it to the whole family and was

telling them about your
business.

KIM: Yeah, no, true. I wouldn't.

Like, I totally get it.
I just was being gossipy.

It wasn't like, "Oh, my God, I'm
gonna get this information and",

"like, go behind..." you know.
I mean, I wasn't trying to go

behind your back.
KOURTNEY: No, but you tried

to take me off the e-mail and
you didn't.

KIM: Yeah. Yeah, I know.
(laughs)

KOURTNEY: It's not funny.
KIM: We're always in each

other's business, like, all of
us and sometimes the lines get

really blurred.
KOURTNEY: But it's not okay.

KIM: I know.
SCOTT: Is there something you

want to maybe tell her, though?
That you might've twisted a

little bit in there? ]] KIM: No.

SCOTT: I would not go and
call your family and say I want

to knock you up.
KHLOE: What was the e-mail?

'Cause from what I heard from
Kimberly is that you wanted a

fourth baby.
SCOTT: No. It was more along

the lines of her saying how
boring Kourtney was.

KHLOE: Oh, my God.
SCOTT: And that if she was

doing anything right, she would
just have another kid with you.

You know how it is.
I mean, when somebody in the

family's super passionate about
something, you just got to kind

of maybe pretend that you're
with it even if you have no idea

what they're really talking
about.

KHLOE: Oh, yeah.
SCOTT: So, it seems like you

guys have gotten somewhere.
KIM: We did.

SCOTT: It's a good day. ♪ ♪

KIM: I need to get a cuticle
cutter.

My nail is falling off.
KOURTNEY: Yeah.

KIM: I feel like I also need
to get, like, lingerie and

stuff.
KOURTNEY: For Valentine's?

KIM: Yeah. I don't know.

Just, like, when you have, like,
so many kids, it's, like,

important to make your
relationship still, like, a top

priority.
KOURTNEY: You should want to.

KIM: Yeah.
I think you just have to.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
KIM: Like, no matter what.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
KIM: Kanye is really into,

like, the small, little, cute
things.

So, for Valentine's Day, I'm
gonna get him all of his

favorite Band-Aids and have a
heart box of Band-Aids.

Oh, Kourt, your favorite.
They have flu sh*ts.

I think he'll think it's really
cute.

Tough strips. No, more.
I actually think this is enough.

Kanye's so thoughtful and even
when he's really, like, in crazy

work mode, he always takes the
time to check in on me to see

what's going on.
And I think when I get in super

busy mode, I need to really
just, like, slow down and be a

little bit more thoughtful.
I think I've definitely gotten

better with that after this.
It's called Excitement,

Excitement. Hi.

Like, I swear I've worn some of
this stuff out before.

Like, I've gotten, like, this.
KOURTNEY: The dress?

KIM: Or, like, a top like that.

KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.
KIM: And, like, it's $ . .

Oh, my God, you're gonna think
I'm, like, joking, but I love

these shoes.
KOURTNEY: Do you want a nurse

costume?
You should get a nurse since he

said you don't take care of him.
KIM: (laughs)

He's ignoring me once he
realized I was on a filter.

Hey, Rob. Say, "Happy
Valentine's Day."

ROB: Happy Valentine's Day.
KIM: Now that our fight is

over, Kourtney and I thought it
would be really cute to just go

and bring all the kids and go
skiing.

All right, it's our first day on
the slopes.

Kourtney, me and Mason, we are
going skiing, guys.

I am excited to go away with
Kourtney.

I think it'll be just a good,
few, fun days of just skiing and

having fun and no drama.
Hi, Penelope.

My racer.
Look at my Speed Racer.

♪ ♪

KIM: Aah! (Laughter)

PENELOPE: Hi, everybody.
My name's Penelope.

You want to see my friend North?
NORTH: Okay.

PENELOPE: And if you watch
today's show, you need to shake

your butt like I told you to.
Okay?

NORTH: Yeah. (Line ringing)

KIM: Alice. ♪ ♪

The only person that can grant
her clemency would be the

president. You're out.

(screams) ]] KYLIE: Go.

KHLOE: Pierre? Oh, my God!

KENDALL: Oh, my God, I don't
think I can do it!

KOURTNEY: It's time that
Congress does its job.

KRIS: If we could use our
connections, I think we could

make a very immediate difference
in a lot of people's lives.

PEOPLE: Two, one! (Cheering)

KHLOE: Kylie, you look amazing.

KRIS (laughs): Don't aim it
close to me.

Oh! KENDALL: Oh, my God, are you

okay? ]] KRIS: No!

SCOTT: Nobody in this family
can ever catch a break.

KIM: They have another video
of him.

Unfollowed, I hate him.
Sorry, not sorry.

KHLOE: The things I can
control, I have to be able to

control. ]] COREY: g*dd*mn.

KRIS: These guys are, like,
always going for sloppy seconds.

KIM: We look like (bleep)
clowns.

KHLOE: Kim, stop.
KOURTNEY: She's just a

(bleep) stuck-up fashion snob.
JONATHAN: TMZ was wild.

KIM: Just because he has an
opinion, that doesn't mean he's

mentally ill.
KRIS: Khloe's in labor.

KHLOE: I hope everyone gets
here in time.

(grunting) (baby cries)