11x05 - Bad Fortune

Episode transcripts for the TV show "American Horror Story". Aired: October 2011 to current*
Watch on Amazon Merchandise Collectibles

An anthology series that centers on different characters and locations, including a haunted house, an insane asylum, a witch coven and a freak show.
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11x05 - Bad Fortune

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ ♪

♪ Those fingers in my hair ♪

♪ That sly come-hither stare ♪

♪ That strips my conscience bare ♪

♪ It's witchcraft ♪

♪ And I've got no defense for it ♪

♪ The heat is too intense for it ♪

♪ What good would
common sense for it do? ♪


♪ 'Cause it's witchcraft ♪

♪ Wicked witchcraft ♪

- ♪ Although I know that... ♪
- No, no, no, no, no.

Uh, it w... it was great
until you did that nasal thing.

I need you to be
an authentic replica of me

and not a rude impersonation.

Okay, let's take ten, and then
we'll run the whole show.

You, a word.

(DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE)

I'm keeping all the nightly
performance fees,

but what tips you make
are yours from now on.

The honor to perform as you
is enough payment alone.

- (PHONE RINGING)
- (CHUCKLES) Cut the bullshit.

You're doing me a solid here,

but I've got better things to do
than sing background

for blow jobs and teabagging.

So, the new business is going well?

Hardly.

Kathy, you have a phone call.

- Sounds urgent.
- See what I mean?

Nonstop.

Hello?

You've got to be f*cking kidding me.

(DISTANT INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

♪ ♪

(HORN HONKS)

(HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE)

♪ ♪

(ENTRY BELL CHIMING)

KATHY: We're closed.

The sign outside says you're open.

Ugh! I forgot to turn it around.

Both my psychics quit on me this week.

You want your fortune told,

order something from the Chinese
restaurant across the street.

I don't want my fortune told.

I came in because of
the help wanted sign.

Are you willing to work a night shift,

: to : ?

: is when all the boys come out,

and they love talking with readers.

Get a few drinks in them, and suddenly

they want to know the future.

It's getting crazier lately.

I wouldn't be surprised
if it had something to do

with all the disappearances.

I'll do whatever it takes.

I need a paying job.

I'm Fran.

Do you have any experience
with tarot cards, Fran?

Not really.

I'll take that as a no.

(KATHY SIGHS)

You need to fill this out.

Tarot deck plus instructions.

Come back tomorrow night

with a decent working
knowledge of the cards,

I'll start you right up.

Don't you want to know if I'm a psychic?

I already know. It doesn't exist.

If psychics were real,
they'd be millionaires

from playing the stock market.

This is entertainment, honey.

A carnival show.

Cheaper than a shrink and
guaranteed to make your day.

Oh, the most important thing is
that the customer leaves

feeling better than when they came in,

so no bad news.

(GASPS) Crazy wealth.

Trip to Paris.

(GASPS) Romance with the guy
or gal of their dreams.

Do that and you're gold.

By lying to vulnerable folk
who are desperate for help?

By telling them what they want to hear.

What, you think they walk in
to learn they have lung cancer?

They want a reason
to get up in the morning.

Well, I've never been one
to fake an orgasm,

let alone fake optimism
about the state of the world.

You know, actually,

I think I might be a little bit psychic.

Sometimes I have these dreams,

and then I read about something
in the paper the next day...

That's fascinating, Kreskin.

See you tomorrow?

FRAN: I mean, on the one hand,
this seems kind of sleezy,

but on the other hand,
what she says makes sense.

It's entertainment.

I mean, that's what movies
and TV shows do.

I mean, the last part of
the hour of Trapper John,

he always saves the sick little girl.

Well, I guess you talked
yourself into it.

FRAN (OVER PHONE): All right,

what do you think?

I think you need the money,
and this sounds like a good gig.

I mean, you can't live
on freelancing at The Native.

Figure out the f*cking tarot cards yet?

I can't tell The Devil
from The Hanged Man,


but I'll get it.

And I need something to get me

through this shitty summer.

Well, I got something
that can get you through.

Come over here. Let me
tear off your clothes.

No. No... (CHUCKLES)

No. I've got to study these cards.

I mean, I at least have
to make it look good.

But you know what? I'll come by
before work and say hi, okay?

And maybe I'll even give
you a free reading.

(LAUGHING)

- Bye.
- (DIAL TONE DRONES)

♪ ♪

(SIREN WAILING)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪


♪ ♪

Everyone says being
pregnant is so stressful.

Hormones pumping, making you crazy.

But I've never been more
centered or happier,

despite everything that's going on.

Probably 'cause you're already
a little crazy to begin with.

The hormones just sort of level you out.

(CHUCKLES)

You're gonna be a great mom, face it.

That's a lucky kid.

Especially since it won't
have me as a father.

Well, technically you are the father.

- (HEAVY BREATHING)
- (LAUGHS)

(IMITATES DARTH VADER):
I am your father.

(LAUGHING): What are you doing?

Correction, I am the sperm donor,

and I'm perfectly happy about that.

What do you think it's gonna be?

A boy or a girl?

What if we don't have to guess?

(GROANS) I don't believe in that stuff.

Let's go in, it'll be fun.

Come on.

- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- (DOOR OPENS)

(ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

Oh. Hi.

Fran?

- What are you doing here?
- I work here now.

Wait, don't you work at The Native?

Well, I write some articles for them.

(SCOFFS) Somebody had
to get the word out.

Fortune telling, government
conspiracy theories...

I'm guessing you're
a UFO fanatic as well.

Everything I told you
about Plumb Island is

the God's honest truth.

Did you even bother following up
on any of the leads I gave you?

What are you two even talking about?

I've been looking into some of it.

Then maybe we've been brought

back together again for a reason.

This place draws you in.

It chose you just the way it chose me.

Okay. (SCOFFS) Let's get out of here.

FRAN: You're with child.

Well, that much is obvious.

But that question in your heart,

I can tell you what it is
you want to know.

(TAKES SLOW, DEEP BREATH)

f*ck it.

One card, one chance,

and then we're out of here.

Okay.

(FRAN EXHALES)

That question that you have...

... hold it in your mind
while you cut the deck.

It's important to have
that energy in the cards.

(HANNAH CHUCKLES)

Huh, the queen of pentacles. Okay.

(HANNAH SCOFFING)

- What's it mean?
- It's been a little while.

Oh, okay, pentacles are
connected to the earth.

So that should be good, I think.

Good for what?

Uh... the ten of swords.

Hmm. What's that mean?

Okay, forget about
that card. Never mind.

Okay, come on, let's go.

No, no, no. No. No. No, wait.

Ah, The Empress.

This is connected to feminine energy.

Have you been wishing for a daughter?

I'm not sure.

FRAN: The cards always tell the truth.

I don't know how they
do it, but they do.

Listen, for ten bucks,

I'll answer anything you want to know.

No, I'm-I'm good.

Come on. You're the one

who wanted to come
here in the first place.

(CARDS SHUFFLING)

Fine.

(FRAN CLEARS THROAT)

ADAM: I lost a friend recently.

We're not even sure he's dead,
but he's been missing,

and with all the murders...

FRAN: Say no more.

Okay, the Death card
doesn't mean literal death.

It can mean the end of one part
of your friend's life

- and the beginning of another.
- I don't want to do this.

Okay.

Let's go back to Hannah.

Energy transfer and all that.

♪ ♪

What are the odds of that happening?

Hmm.

I mean, that makes no sense.

There's-there's only
one Death card per deck.

Whatever you're doing, this isn't funny.

I'm not doing anything.

Yes, you are, you're
upsetting my friend.

FRAN: This doesn't make any sense.

What kind of business do you
think you're running here? Huh?

Please don't go. There's got to
be some kind of an explanation.

Upsetting a pregnant woman. Huh?

Come on. We're going.

Let's go.

I'm sorry. Come on. I'm sorry.

(ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(WATER RUNNING)

(SIGHS)

Are you okay?

Um, I think I had some bad sushi,

and I got a parasite or something.

I haven't been able to keep
anything down for weeks.

ATTORNEY: Isn't that concerning?

Maybe we can hold off on the diagnosis

until after the parties have signed.

♪ ♪

(MUFFLED): Honey?

Are you okay?

(NORMAL VOLUME): Honey?

Do you think you could just
give us a moment?

(BARBARA SIGHS SOFTLY)

- What is it?
- I don't know. I just...

Please don't do this, Barbara.

This is the right thing. You know it is.

No, I don't know it, that's the problem.

Just throwing everything away like this,

it just feels like we're
making a terrible mistake.

It's more than that.
We don't have a marriage.

Who cares if we don't do all the things

that husbands and wives
are supposed to do?

I want more than that.

So should you.

Honey, we will always be friends.

We will always, always
care for each other.

But...

we cannot stay married,
Barbara. We cannot.

I can't.

(SOFTLY): Oh, God.

Look, I know...

I know you're scared.

But you will find
somebody perfect for you.

We need to do this, honey.

We need to.

For both our sakes.

Well, one thing hasn't changed.

I still want you to be happy.

I feel the same for you.

♪ ♪

(BARBARA BREATHING HEAVILY)

Oh, God. Honey?

Honey?

Hey!

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER P.A. IN DISTANCE)

Where am I?

In the hospital. You passed out.

- I did?
- Right after you signed.

Whacked your head on the floor.

Scared the sh*t out of me.

(GROANING)

- I'm sorry.
- No, come on. It's my fault.

I pushed way too hard.

No, I'm sorry that I need you
to do something for me.

I, uh, did something terrible.

What?

I got a dog.

What's so terrible about that?

He's a papillon.

But wait until you meet him.

He's so cute, but he's
been inside all day,

and he hasn't had anything to eat.

I'm sure he's peed
all over the apartment.

Okay. Say no more.

- You don't mind?
- I do.

But I'll go anyway,

because despite everything

we're still gonna be
there for each other.

Thank you.

Ow.

(BARKING)

Hey, puppy.

(SWITCH CLICKING)

(BARKING)

What are you yapping at, huh?

I'm Mommy's friend. Don't bite me.

(THUD IN OTHER ROOM)

(BARKS)

- Okay. (SHUSHING) Come-come on.
- (BARKS)

- (BARKS)
- (WHISPERING): Okay, okay. Shh, shh, shh.

(SHUSHING) Come on, come on.

Come here. Hey, come here,
come here. I got you.

I got you, I got you. Okay, okay, okay.

Come here. Okay.

Come here. Okay, good boy. Good boy.

(CLEARS THROAT) It's the police.

♪ ♪

(GRUNTING)

- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
- (GRUNTING)

Oh, no, no.

(STRAINING): No, no.

No! No!

No! No! No! (GRUNTING)

Oh, sh*t! (GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

MULCAHEY: What the f*ck?

Yep, what the f*ck is right?

Two times, this giant freak
tried to k*ll me.

Giant freak?

It's the same m*therf*cker
I sh*t in Central Park.

- (DOG WHIMPERS)
- He was here, in that closet,

and he came for me.

- (SNICKERS)
- What's funny?

What?

GAO: Nothing. No offense.

Wait outside.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO)

(SIGHS)

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- So?

"So" what?

Is there anything to it?

Was this just a little tryst gone wrong?

You're really asking me that?

I never saw this guy before
I sh*t him in Central Park,

and he was just in Barbara's closet.

How did he know I was here?

How did he get in?

Did your wife... sorry, ex-wife...

- know that you were coming here?
- No.

It was not her, and this
was not a lovers' spat.

This guy... this thing...

came for me,

and I-I don't think he's gonna stop.

(DOOR CLOSES)

ADAM: My, uh, my wife is here

for her four-month ultrasound
with Dr. Kornblatt.

She'll be in good hands.
Hello, Mr. Whitely.

Hello, Dianne.

- (KNOCKING) - (DOOR OPENS)
- Adam?

I know we hadn't discussed
me being here,

but I got off early and I
thought I'd surprise you.

Dr. Kornblatt, good to meet you.

You came at the right moment.
You have a very healthy baby.

- Everything looks perfectly normal.
- That's great news.

KORNBLATT: Your wife
insisted on a blood panel.

It's an extensive set of tests.

We don't have all the results
yet, but we should probably

go over the ones we do have.

I'll be right back.

Why is he talking to you and not me?

And what are you doing?
Why are you here?

What's with these tests?

I had a nightmare last night.

I dreamt I was giving birth
to something with tentacles.

It's because of that stupid
tarot reading, isn't it?

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

- What are you seeing?
- Nothing.

I'm just noticing you have
a slightly low red cell count.

How low?

KORNBLATT: It's nothing
to get alarmed about.

Probably just a slight case of anemia.

We'll do some follow-ups,

get it all sorted out.

- Okay?
- Okay.

What's the matter?

After the fire at the bar,

when I took blood samples
from the burn victims

at the hospital,

they all had low red blood cell counts.

Including me?

I wasn't sure if the results
had been corrupted

or if the immune systems
had been affected by the fire.

We were doing more tests.

Then why would you have the same issue?

That's what I don't understand.

Hey, are you sure you're up for this?

I can go in on my own.

Yeah, I'm okay.

But, uh, brace yourself, it's bad.

Okay.

Oh, hey, your lights are, uh, not...

(DOG BARKING)

(CHUCKLES): Hi! Aw, my big guy!

What a big boy!

You're so tough.

Oh, God, Patrick.

Was this person following me to hurt me,

or to get to you?

I don't know.

Let's get you some clothes.

No, no, no. Don't bother.
I'm staying here.

What? No, you can't.

No, no, no. I don't want to go
to a motel, or worse,

my sister's or anywhere else.

I want to stay in my own home.

- God.
- I don't think that's a good idea, Barb.

You told me the cops swept
the building, right?

There's a police cruiser
parked right out front.

Yeah, they'll be outside all night.

Right, well, then I'm safer here

than probably anywhere else
in the whole city.

Plus, I've got this guy, right?

- (BARKS)
- To protect me.

Come here, buddy. Look at this.

I'm gonna be perfectly fine.

I just have to give him a name.

I love you.

So, uh, what does the low
red blood count mean?

She said it's harmless for now,

but it's showing up
in everyone's blood work,

including her own.

Is it something I need to worry about?

The only thing you
need to worry about...

- Hey.
- ... is saving room for dinner.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (GROANS)

Come on.

I've got a surprise.

So...

after you told me what happened,

I thought you and I could come together

for a more positive experience.

You know, uh, maybe she can tell
us more about our relationship.

You're out of your f*cking head.
I'm not going back in there.

Come on, I loved that
whole Death card thing.

You can't deny me that.

Maybe it's some kind of joke to you,

but it really freaked Hannah out.

- Gave her nightmares.
- (GROANS)

Now you're only making
this easier for me.

Come on.

(ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

My boyfriend's an assh*le,
that's why I'm back.

After Adam told me about the
reading you gave him and Hannah,

I knew I had to see you
in action for myself.

I'm really glad to see you again.

You left in such a hurry,
I couldn't tell you

how bad I felt about everything.

It was not done on purpose.

I'd actually feel better if you told me

it was all some sick scam, but...

- okay.
- Great, bygones.

Can we get a reading?

That's what I'm here for.

♪ ♪

- No instructions this time?
- I've had so many customers,

I could draw this deck from memory.

I can do a dual reading.

Each one of you will cut the deck once.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oof, that doesn't look very good.

It suggests self-evaluation.

An awakening.

It's a great card.

THEO: Hmm.

It's not the first time
I've been called the Devil.

(CHUCKLES) I like your attitude.

The Devil can be playful and fun.

He represents
the questioning intellectual.

♪ ♪

(OBJECTS RATTLING)

Who's gonna die?

(DEMONIC VOICE): You!

ADAM: What is this?

It's just the subway.

It's right beneath us.

Easy, baby, it's the A train.

No, what is that voice?

What voice?

FRAN: Do you want me to get a new deck

- and-and start from scratch?
- (DOOR CLOSES)

No, no, no. Sorry.

Sorry.

- (DOOR OPENS)
- (ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

- (PHONE RINGING)
- (BUSY CHATTER)

Welcome back, Gino.

You're looking like yourself again.

After all the sh*t I've been through,

who would've thought that fleas
would be the thing

to send me to the hospital?

Don't worry, I had the place fumigated.

How you doing?

That Fran who's been working here,

she's, uh, moonlighting as
a psychic on Christopher Street.

She scared my friend the other day,

and I-I just went back again,

and-and it was just... weird.

Adam, you don't actually think

that she's really a psychic, do you?

She's got this thing.

I don't know how she does it,

but she-she connects with your fears

and then lays them out
on the table in front of you.

Your fears?

You'd have to see it for yourself.

Sounds like a scam.

What if she's right?

What if we're all doomed?

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

- FRAN: Gino?
- Hey, Fran.

What are you doing here?

Oh, what's the matter,
you-you can't read my mind?

(CHUCKLES): Oh, you two know each other.

I had no idea.

Huh.

Well, there's no
tougher costumer than I,

and Fran is a gifted clairvoyant.

Uh, I know Fran all too well.

I'm-I'm pretty sure she's not a psychic.

And you, you claim to care,

but then you're over
here running a scam,

taking advantage of people's
pain to make a quick buck.

What's wrong with you people?

Gino, I can run any business I please.

I'm serving the community.

My bathhouse and my tarot shop
are holistic enterprises.

Oh, this-this is ridiculous.

Well, if you don't believe it,
sit down for a reading.

I'm not gonna waste my time
with this nonsense.

What are you afraid of?

Excuse m... I'm not afraid of anything.

Then sit down.

Fran, take your lunch.

I got this.

(TRAIN TRACKS RATTLING NEARBY)

(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

As you can see,

we use a standard tarot deck.

cards.

Every card has a different meaning.

Yeah, I know how tarot works.

Well, then you should also know

that the fate of the cards is
in your hands.

Cut the deck.

♪ ♪

Sorry.

- Let's try this again.
- (CARDS SHUFFLE)

Shuffle the cards and turn them
over yourself this time.

(CARDS SHUFFLE)

♪ ♪

(CRACKLING)

You're an angry man, Gino,

and your life is spinning
out of control.

(ECHOING): You tell yourself
this anger is caused

by the state of the world,

but you know it's because you are dying.

Everyone around you is dying.

I can smell it.

I can smell the decay.

It's a black hole sucking in
everything and everyone.

You want to save everyone,

but you're just a scared
little boy yourself,

someone who desperately
wants to be loved.

Do you think anyone can love you

when you have no soul to love?

Turn around, Gino.

(RATTLING)

Someone wants to meet you.

(ECHOING): Shall I kiss you?

Shall I kiss you and
make this all go away?

♪ ♪

(PANTING)

No!

(BREATHING SHAKILY)

This is all an illusion.

I... I have a soul.

I know what love is.

(ECHOING): The only illusion
is that you think

you can escape your destiny.

(WHISPERING): I love Patrick.

And Patrick loves me.

(ECHOING): How can he even know you?

But don't fret.

He's dying, too.

Stop!

(SIGHS)

(PANTING SOFTLY)

- (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
- (ENTRY BELL CHIMES)

(GASPS) Oh.

(IGGY & THE STOOGES' "GIMME
DANGER (BOWIE MIX)" PLAYING)

♪ ♪

♪ Give me danger, little stranger ♪

♪ And I feel with you at ease ♪

♪ Give me danger, little stranger ♪

♪ And I'll feel your disease ♪

♪ There's nothing in my dreams ♪

♪ Just some ugly memories ♪

♪ Kiss me like the ocean breeze ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Now, if you will be my lover ♪

♪ I will shiver and sing ♪

♪ But if you can't be my master ♪

♪ I will do anything ♪

♪ There's nothing left alive ♪

♪ But a pair of glassy eyes ♪

♪ Raise my feelings one more time ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah, find a little stranger ♪

♪ Find a little stranger ♪

♪ Say you're gonna feel my hand ♪

♪ Say, gotta give me danger ♪

♪ Wild little stranger ♪

♪ Oh, honey, gonna feel my hand ♪

♪ Swear you're gonna feel my hand ♪

- ♪ Swear you're gonna feel my hand ♪
- (MUFFLED SCREAMING)

♪ ♪

♪ Give me... ♪

Barb, it's me.

(DOOR CLOSES)

♪ Little stranger ♪

♪ Give me danger ♪

♪ Little stranger ♪

♪ Give me danger ♪

- ♪ Little stranger ♪
- Barb.

♪ ♪

♪ Give me danger ♪

- ♪ Little stranger ♪
- Whoa. (GRUNTING)

- She's f*cking dead.
- What are you talking about?

- She's f*cking dead!
- (OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)

- Calm down, sir.
- You f*cking son of a bitch!

You f*cking son of a bitch!

♪ Danger ♪

♪ Gotta feel the pain ♪

♪ You gotta feel the pain ♪

♪ You gotta feel it ♪

♪ Little stranger. ♪

(MUFFLED SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)

(MEN WHIMPERING, CRYING)

(WHITELY SHUSHING)

The sedatives will kick in soon.

(MEN CRYING)

It's not as bad as it looks.

I know what you're thinking:

"How could it possibly get any worse?"

Well, it could be for nothing,

which is worse.

- (MAN CRIES)
- (SETS TOOLS DOWN)

You don't understand,
you don't have the full picture.

- And that... that's my fault.
- (MAN WHIMPERS)

This isn't about taking your life.

It's about giving your life meaning.

(MAN CRYING)

It's about being a part of something,

something that's bigger than yourself,

something that's important.

You and I,

we're gonna change this city.

I'm just so glad I can
finally talk about it.

- (CRYING)
- God,

I've been on my own for so long,

I'm starting to go crazy.

In two weeks' time,

New York will hold
its annual Pride parade.

The city proclaims
to the world that it's

a welcoming place
to all of its gay citizens.

That everyone has a place here.

That all are safe and protected
by its institutions.

That no one is left behind.

Some people actually believe that sh*t.

- (WHIMPERING)
- And so,

this year, I've decided that
the parade will mean something.

For the first time,

it will be honest.

Let me show you. (SIGHS SHARPLY)

(GEARS CREAKING)

(GASPING)

(CRYING)

♪ ♪

(CRYING)

(GEARS STOP)

(CRYING, WHIMPERING)

It will be honest because...

he will be there.

He's our change.

Our protector.

A sentinel.

Made from the people this city despises.

They will be transformed,
as you will be,

into agents of change.

So, you see, it isn't
as bad as it looks.

He's almost ready,

but he's missing
two very important parts:

the seat of the soul

and the heat of the loins.

(CRYING)

Now...

(CRYING)

Decisions, decisions.
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