01x08 - The Con

Episode transcripts for the TV show "High School". Aired: October 14, 2022 - present.*
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Coming of age comedy that is based on the autobiographical book High School by Tegan and Sara.
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01x08 - The Con

Post by bunniefuu »

Do you want me?

[SARA] Yes.

I think we should just
go back to being friends.

I feel like I wanna help you,
but I don't know what to do.

[PHOEBE] I like boys.

[SARA] I only like you.

[MAYA] You know, there's a lot
about my life that's shitty.

But when I'm with you, I
kind of forget about all that.

[TEGAN] Why are you so upset about this?

You've been using me
as, like, a filler friend

while Sara was ignoring you.

[TEGAN] You're really important to me.

- [SARA] Did she like it?
- [TEGAN] She wasn't there.

Tegan, this is Cass.
Cass, this is Tegan.

[PATRICK] The girls
are playing music now.

[MARY] Wow! You must be so proud.

[BUCK] Why? They're not his kids.

So you've just been a musical
genius this whole time?

They should play at the party.

[TEGAN] Yeah, we'd love to.

I suck.

No, you don't. That sounded great.

I just wanna do a really good job.

[LONI] How are you and Patrick?

[SIMONE] We don't wanna
do the same things.

When we have the most fun is when
we're in a room full of people

and we don't have to interact.

What's wrong?

["A WHITER SHADE OF PALE"
BY PROCOL HARUM PLAYS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MARY] Okay, would you excuse me?

Of course. If there's anything
we can do, let us know, okay?

I appreciate that so much.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming.

Should we be talking to people?

How should I know? I've
never done this before.

Oh, hi, girls.

- Hi.
- Hi, Mary.

Ohh. [SNIFFLES]

I'm sorry about... you know.

Thank you, dear.

Can we get you anything?

[SNIFFLES] No, I'm okay. [SNIFFLES]

Oh, Patrick gave me one of your tapes.

[CHUCKLES] It's not usually my
kind of music, but I loved it.

Thank you.

[MARY] He's very proud of you, you know.

[SOBS] Well, what's new in your life?

[TEGAN] Oh, not much, just
finishing up with school.

["A WHITER SHADE OF PALE"
BY PROCOL HARUM CONTINUES]

Mom, are you sure you don't
want me to drive you home?

I'm okay.

Okay, here, take this.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

[CAR DRIVES AWAY]

[SIMONE] Hey, how's she doing?

[SIGHS]

If that selfish assh*le wasn't dead,

I would k*ll him myself
for doing this to her.

[SIGHS] I should have
never let her marry him.

I just didn't want her to be alone.

I guess I'm the selfish assh*le.

[SIMONE] No. No, you're not.

[SOBS] What is she gonna do now?

[SOBBING]

[SNIFFLES]

Hey, it's gonna be okay.

[SOBS, SNIFFLES]

It's gonna be all right.

[SOBS]

[PATRICK SOBBING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[TEGAN] What if we're not any good?

What if we totally embarrass ourselves

in front of everybody at the party?

Will wouldn't have asked us
to play if we weren't any good.

But what if I'm not any good?

Are you kidding? You're so good.

And we can practice any time you want.

You're not doing this alone.

Oh, my God.

You're so cheesy.

- [CHUCKLES] Shut up.
- [TEGAN LAUGHS]

I have this new song
I've been working on.

Can I play it for you?

Duh.

[CLEARS THROAT]

♪ Dragging you down and backwards ♪

♪ I'm upside down ♪

♪ Leave me here I'm begging ♪

♪ Can't you see I'm drowning? ♪

♪ If I go off the track,
will you wait for me? ♪

♪ 'Cause I know I'm not the only one ♪

♪ Who needs you like I do ♪

♪ And I know I'm not the only one ♪

♪ Who loves you like I do ♪

♪ I wait but will I get lonely? ♪

♪ These words will make me stronger ♪

♪ Fortune brought you to me ♪

♪ Can't hold you any longer ♪

That's all I have so far.

I love it.

Thank you for playing it for me.

You're welcome.

I'm really happy that we're doing this.

I've had a lot of fun.

[CHUCKLES] Now look who's cheesy.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Whatever.

So I have listened to the
tape upwards of times,

which makes me the expert, I think.

And "Plunk" is definitely the best song.

Well, you know, I wrote that one.

And that does not surprise
me at all. (CHUCKLES)

It's really cool that
you're into me playing music.

I mean, why wouldn't I be?

I don't know. Um,
just... not everyone is.

Do you mean Maya?

Yeah.

Hmm.

Well, maybe you should tell
her how much it matters to you.

I mean, if she's your
friend, she'll get it.

[SARA] I don't know what happened.

He was fine at the funeral.

I've never really seen him cry before.

Hmm.

Maybe you should try and talk
to him about how he's feeling.

I don't know.

Things have felt weird ever since
we had that fight a couple weeks ago.

Well, I'm sure that's not what
he's thinking about right now.

Come here.

I can't wait for summer so
we can hang out all the time.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

[SIMONE] Would it have
k*lled them to smile?

[LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

Hey, Mom, anything else,
uh, you need us to do?

Mary?

I'm okay.

Do you have anything to
eat for dinner tonight?

Uh, I still have leftovers
from the memorial service.

Um, those are over a week old now.

[SIMONE] You know what? I'm gonna
be back in this area tonight,

I'll bring you some dinner, okay?

See you then.

I love you, Mom.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

[MAN ON TV] I take my territory
with me and right now, you're in it.

[TEGAN] Well, we're still $
short, so it's not gonna work.

What if we sold our CDs?

I'd rather sell my lungs.

Hey, you guys knock over a
liquor store or something?

Well, this is just all the
money that we've saved so far.

How's it going?

We won't have enough to buy
a guitar before the party,

but we'll have enough
before summer's over.

Well, I really do admire
you guys for trying.

- Thanks?
- [SIMONE] Mm-hmm.

Why are you being so nice?

What's wrong?

I'm... [CHUCKLES] I'm nice.

Also, um, I realized

that, uh, since Buck's death,

I never really checked in with you guys.

And I wanted to see how you're feeling

and if you had any questions.

Well, is it bad if we
don't really feel anything?

There's no right way to feel.

Why did he do that?

I wish I had an answer,

but the truth is, this
is one of those things

we just have to accept
never knowing the reason why.

[NATALIE] Ahh, the sound of
summer officially starting.

I've learned nothing from you.

[TEGAN] Maya.

I'll catch up with you guys.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Hi.
- Hi.

Sara and I are playing at Will's party.

Yeah, I heard something about that.

Are you going?

I'm not sure. My dance
card's pretty full.

Look, I know things have
been weird with us lately,

but it would mean a lot
to me if you were there.

Yeah, maybe I'll try and stop by.

I'll see you around.

[SARA PLAYING GUITAR]

I was just so focused
on getting into character

that I didn't pay much
attention to the actual dialogue,

which turned out to be a mistake.

But as an artist, you
have to take risks,

so I feel like on that
level, the play was a success.

I thought you did a great job.

Yeah, I didn't even realize that
you made up most of the words.

Well, you see, that's just
my character work paying off.

[SARA CONTINUES PLAYING GUITAR]

Is that a new song?

Yeah, but it's not finished yet.

Maybe I can hear it when it is.

Yeah, totally.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it.

- Hey!
- [CASS] Hi.

[TEGAN] Come on.

- Hey.
- [ALL] Hey.

Where's Phoebe?

Um, her mom said she
needed her to do something.

I don't know. Sorry. I have to pee
so bad. Tegan, will you go with me?

- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

I have to tell you something,
but you have to promise

not to say anything to Sara.

- Okay.
- Okay.

So, Phoebe got into this French
immersion program in Montreal

and she's spending the summer there.

Oh, my God. Sara is gonna freak.

I know. But you have to
promise not to say anything

because Phoebe really wants
to be the one to tell her.

Okay?

Yeah. I promise.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[SARA] Did Cass say anything
else about why Phoebe didn't come?

No, uh, just that her mom needed her.

That was it.

I don't get why she didn't
just tell me herself.

- [SIMONE] Uh, wait, okay.
- [PATRICK] Is that right?

- [SIMONE] Yup, yup.
- [PATRICK] All right.

[SIMONE] Hey, girls, can you
come in here for a minute, please?

Uh-oh. What'd we do?

- [PATRICK] No, you're not in trouble.
- [SIMONE] No. No, you're not.

We, um, just wanted to give you this.

- Is that...
- Open it.

[CHUCKLES]

- What?
- Are you serious?

And, uh, I don't think
it works without this.

So, I don't know if
you guys are interested.

- I'm not sure.
- [ALL LAUGH]

[SIMONE] Now, hold on.

- You have to pay the rest of this off.
- Yes.

But you guys have been
doing such a great job,

and we know the party is
coming up, so we just...

- Consider this an advance.
- Yeah.

I can't believe you guys did this.

Yeah, thank you so much.

- [PATRICK] Yeah, of course.
- [SIMONE] Yeah.

And, you know, I think
a really good thank-you

would be to invite us
to the party, you know.

- Not gonna happen.
- [PATRICK] Okay.

- It was worth a try.
- [ALL CHUCKLE]

Well, can we play it now?

- [SIMONE] Yes.
- [PATRICK] Yes. Yeah.

- [PATRICK] Please, go.
- [SIMONE] It's yours.

- Thank you, guys.
- [PATRICK] Play it loud.

- Yeah.
- [TEGAN] Thank you.

- [SARA] This is amazing.
- [TEGAN] So amazing.

That was... was that,
like, actual gratitude?

So teenagers can actually express...

- Yes. Savor this moment.
- Thank you.

This may be our last.

[LAUGHS]

- It makes me happy...
- Yeah.

- ... seeing them happy.
- Me, too.

- And you.
- Mm.

Mm.

I've been thinking about something.

- Okay.
- And I just want you to hear me out.

All right?

What if we, uh,

were to make this a
more permanent thing?

Uh, it's pretty permanent.

I mean, we just invested
in a guitar together, so.

But you mean, um...

Yeah. I mean, I know. I know.

We said we would never do that.

- But I love you.
- Mm-hmm.

And I love the girls. And I want
you to always be taken care of.

'Cause I never had that.

My dad was an assh*le and Buck
was not much of a father figure.

I wanna be everything they weren't.

You already do so much for them.

- You do.
- I know.

But this is about all
of us being a family

and the stability of that.

Mm-hmm.

Look, you're, um... you're
going through a lot right now.

But trying to turn us
into people that we're not,

it's not gonna make anything better.

Yeah?

So, you're saying you'll think about it?

[LAUGHS] Sorry.

- Did I make it weird?
- No. No, you didn't.

It's totally fine. It's fine.

[SIGHS]

[TEGAN] ♪ Are you locked up in a world ♪

♪ That's been planned out for you? ♪

♪ Are you feeling like a social tool ♪

♪ Without a use? ♪

♪ Scream at me ♪

♪ Until my ears bleed ♪

♪ I'm taking heed just for you ♪

Okay. Hello?

[CASS] That was amazing.

- Really?
- [CASS] Yes.

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Um, hold on.

Yeah?

Has Phoebe called?

No, she hasn't.

Oh. Okay.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Hi.
- Jesus! Sorry.

- Sorry.
- No, I was... I was just, um...

doing nothing, I guess.

Hey, thanks again for the guitar.

Of course. You guys deserve it.

How are you?

I've had better months. [CHUCKLES]

- I'm sorry.
- Thank you, honey.

Hey, um, you know, that thing
between us at the house...

I'm really sorry.

I... I just say stuff
sometimes, I don't think.

- That's okay.
- No, it's not.

I really messed up.

And I'm glad I have
you to keep me in check.

Do you wanna see if the
Canadiens game is still on?

Yeah.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello.
- [PHOEBE] Hey.

Hey. Why are you calling me?

You and Cass are supposed
to be here at, like... now.

Um...

Yeah. I'm, uh... I'm not
gonna make it tonight.

[SARA] Are you serious?

You know how important this is to me.

I know. I know. I, um, I'm just...

I'm not really feeling well.

I'm really sorry.

Okay.

I hope you feel better.

I'll talk to you later.

- [PHOEBE] Good luck...
- [PHONE BEEPS]

[TEGAN] What's wrong?

Phoebe's not coming.

[PHONE HANGS UP]

I'm going to get ready.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOOR OPENS]

- [SIMONE] Hey.
- [LONI] Hi.

- [SIMONE] What are you doing here?
- [LONI] Picking up my cake plate.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIMONE] Oh, my God. I
completely forgot you were coming.

- [LONI] You sound like Ronnie.
- [SIMONE CHUCKLES]

[SIMONE] It's just in, uh, in here.

Okay, so I dropped a
real solid joke back there

and you didn't even flinch.

You wanna tell me what's going on?

[SIGHS]

Uh, Patrick proposed to me.

And we don't like that?

[TONGUE CLICKS]

[SCOFFS]

When I met Patrick, I was .

I had two five-year-olds.

I didn't know who I
was or what I wanted.

You know, I was just,
uh, I was floating.

And then I, uh, I met Patrick,

and he became an anchor, you know,

for me, for the girls,

and I, uh, I loved him for that.

But over the past ten years,
I have... I've worked so hard,

and I've grown so much,
and I just... I don't know.

I guess I'm scared that that anchor

is keeping me in a place
I don't belong anymore.

Have you talked to him about this?

[SIGHS] I wouldn't know where to begin.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

Hey.

Hey, babe.

[LONI] Hi.

Hey, Loni.

She, uh, she's come to
pick up her cake plate.

Well, lucky me I got to see you.

Yeah, nice to see you, too.

Um, I was gonna take a quick shower,
then I was thinking pizza tonight?

[SIMONE] Yeah, sounds good.

[PATRICK WALKS UP THE STAIRS]

[SIGHS]

- [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

All right. Don't forget to, uh...

We won't drink or do any
dr*gs or have any fun.

That's all I ask.

All right. Well, good luck tonight.

Have fun.

[ALI] I'm kinda gonna miss school.

Yeah, except for the classes.

And the teachers.

And most of the students.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

- Maybe I hate school.
- [SARA] Hey, guys.

Hey! There they are!

How's the greatest band
Calgary hasn't heard of? Yet.

[CASS] That is the coolest
shirt I've ever seen.

Did you ever finish that song?

[NATALIE] Oh, thanks. It's ironic.

Almost.

[LILY] Okay. Uh, let me show
you guys where to set up.

Are you gonna be all right for a second?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we'll take care of her.

- Have I ever told you...
- Hmm?

... how much I love your energy?

[TEGAN AND SARA] ♪ Granted
and I'm so locked in layers ♪

♪ I'm wired ♪

♪ Overcome and overdone ♪

♪ My fate is on fire ♪

♪ Eat the sludge and dance
to screaming in my head ♪

♪ I'm so happy that we're
friends, me and you ♪

♪ So here I am invisible
and upside down ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Have you seen my pick?

Oh, never mind.

It's in my pocket.

I can't believe she's not coming.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I'm pretty sure Maya's
not coming either.

Yeah, but Phoebe's...

It doesn't matter.

I don't even think she's actually sick.

Maybe I made her mad or something.

- I don't know.
- Look.

You can't say that I
told you, but Cass told me

that Phoebe's going to Montreal

for the summer for some French program.

Are you serious?

Yeah, and I wanted to tell
you, but Cass said Phoebe would.

I'm really sorry.

I need a minute.

Sara, wait.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- [CASS] Hey.
- Hi.

How you doing? Good?

Um, nervous.

I think I might have something that
might be able to help with that.

Um, my grandfather gave me this.

It's for luck.

No. [CHUCKLES] I can't take this.

Well, I'm not giving you a choice.

[DOOR CLOSES]

["SCARLET" BY LUSH PLAYS]

Hey, you're playing in ten.

Okay. I'll find Sara.

I'll find Sara. You just... just focus.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

- [SIGHS]
- [SARA] How could you not tell me?

I found out right
after Patrick's stepdad,

and it didn't seem like the
best time to bring it up.

But I won't be gone that long.

You'll be gone for two months!

Thinking we were gonna
spend the summer together

was the only thing that
got me through this year.

How could you do this?

["THE LAST DAY OF OUR ACQUAINTANCE"
BY SINEAD O'CONNOR PLAYS]

[TURN SIGNAL CLICKING]

["THE LAST DAY OF OUR ACQUAINTANCE"
BY SINEAD O'CONNOR CONTINUES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hey, I couldn't find her.

["THE LAST DAY OF OUR ACQUAINTANCE"
BY SINEAD O'CONNOR CONTINUES]

Excuse me.

["THE LAST DAY OF OUR ACQUAINTANCE"
BY SINEAD O'CONNOR CONTINUES]
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