01x13 - Down Goes Santa: Part II

[bunniefuu]

SCHWOZ: Previously on Danger Force...

- Got him!

- Because of you two Santa Claus is running around

the streets of Swellview without a brain!

- Where's my brother?

- Nobody say anything.

- He left. - Seriously?

- Bump it, lil' dude! - No Bose don't touch him!

- K-K-K-Kramp Life!

- What are you doorknobs lookin' at?!

- If we don't find Santa Claus before Krampus does

there won't be a Christmas for us or anyone else in the world!

- That was easy. - Just kidding!

- Alright! - Ahhh! Go go go go!

- You're gonna have to try harder than that

if you wanna save Christmas, kiddies!

♪ Up on the housetop reindeer pause ♪

♪ Out jumps good old Santa Claus ♪

- You know, it's a little chilly for smoothies,

but you do you.

- We're not here for smoothies!

I keep getting alerts that someone saw Santa

going into Hip Hop Purée.

- Well if he's here he should be easy to spot.

♪ Out jumps good old Santa Claus ♪

- Or not.

- What is going on here?

- Da-ba-bah. It's a Santa party.

Can't come in unless you're dressed like Santie Claus.

- Okay, I-I understand that, but we're superhe--

- I don't care if you're Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

You can't be here unless you're dressed like

Kris "The Jingle" Kringle!

- We just need a cuppa minutes to--

- It should be clear by now that I am not gonna let

either of you finish a sentence

until you're dressed like Father Christmas.

Lucky for you kids, I set some costumes aside for drop-ins.

♪ Up on the housetop, click click click ♪

♪ Down through the chimney with good St. Nick ♪

[ rap-rock music ]

- Bose! Can we turn down that awful music?!

- Whoaaaa, way harsh!

Way harsher!

- Rap rock deserves the harshest of harsh.

- If I can't crank tunes while crunching

Mahi-mahi tac-y tac-ies, what am I s'posed to do?!

- I've got an idea...

[ festive holiday music ]

♪ Why don'tcha help me fix the sleigh? ♪

♪ I don't want to!

♪ But I could use a hand today... ♪

♪ Wah wah, boo hoo!

♪ Hand me that wrench that's on the ground... ♪

♪ All tools are lame!

♪ Said by the biggest one around. ♪

- What? - Nothing...

- Hey!

♪ I think you're forgetting that it's Christmas! ♪

♪ I don't know what you're talkin' about ♪

♪ Forgive me for getting loud but I gotta let it out: ♪

♪ you're never too ever too cool for the holidays ♪

♪ Blah blah blah blah blah

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holidays ♪

♪ Blah blah blah blah blah

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holidays ♪

♪ I don't care cuz I'm too cool for the holidays! ♪

- Dude, I know you're not a member of Klub Krampus,

but rule number slevin is, "You don't gotta fix a sleigh,

if you slay all DAY!" HOOAH!

- Oh! At least fix your breath.

It smells like fish and caffeine.

Here.

- A candy cane?

No way!

♪ I used to love these as a boy! ♪

♪ You're not a man...

♪ The shape of the "j" would bring me joy! ♪

♪ Glad you're a fan...

♪ This is the sleigh of Santa Claus! ♪

♪ What's going on?

♪ What can I help you with, my Schwoz? ♪

♪ The spell is gone!

♪ I finally remember that it's Christmas! ♪

♪ That is what I'm talking about! ♪

♪ The month of December you've every reason ♪

♪ to let it out!

♪ Cuz you're never too ever too cool for the holidays! ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la...

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holidays... ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la...

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holiday... ♪

♪ Caroling mingling merrily singing ♪

♪ and jingling all of the way! ♪

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holidays! ♪

- Hey, what was it you wanted me to hand you earlier?

- Oh, that wrench on the ground!

- Here you go.

It's beautiful.

But all I did was toss you a wrench!

- That's the magic of Christmas, baby!

♪ Fa la la la la la...

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holidays... ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la...

♪ You're never too ever too cool for the holidays... ♪

- Merry Christmas, Schwoz!

- Awww, merry Christmas, Bosey.

[ tube alert ]

- We're back!

- We got the sack!

- Hey-hey, we fixed the sleigh!

- Noice!

- And someone fixed you!

- Schwoz did -- but not all the way though.

I still have these gross dimples.

- So, did you defeat Krampus?

- Yeah'd you guys take him down to Pound Town?

- Have you guys... been watching the news?

- No. - Never.

- We took him down to Pound Town.

- All at once. - We really got him this time.

- Not only won that battle... Krampus. Look at this.

- That is an interesting candy cane right there.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

Hello! Hello?!

Hellloo! We're looking for Santa Claus!

- Right here! - I'm Santa Claus!

- No, we mean the real Santa Claus!

- That's me! - That's me!

- I'm the real Santa! - Ho ho ho ho!

- Wait, wait, wait, wait --

Ray said that the real Santa lost his memory.

- So? - So...

that means Santa doesn't know who he is.

- That means if these guys say they're the real Santa Claus...

- They can't be the real Santa Claus.

- Well then where is the real Santa?!

SANTA: ♪ A-put ya hand up, a-put ya hands up ♪

♪ If you got a itchy beard, a-put ya hands up! ♪

[ Dancing Santas cheer ]

- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

- No requests!

- Are you the real Santa Claus?!

- What's a Santa Claus?!

- This is our guy.

- You're coming with us!

- Hands off! - Come on!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I just got a weird text from a nine-oh-nine number

that's telling me to say, "Party Time."

- Ahh!

- Did someone say, "Party Time?!"

[ air horn blares ]

- Uh, who are you and are you single?

- Name's Krampus.

And I'm a free man outside the nine-oh-nine.

International waters dude -- no rules apply!

- Enchanté. - No! Don't touch him!

- You'll turn into a-- ...Krampon.

Hey, why didn't she change when she touched him?

- Eh...She seemed like a Krampon to begin with.

- Alright, side salads. Time to hand over my brother.

- No. - Look, you're not gonna be

the first kid I've slapped so outta my way--

- I said [ Super-screams ] NO!!!

- Ohhhhh yeahhhh...

now my Krampits can breathe!

- Sorry, Santas!

- Do I smell Maxx Body Spray?

- Yeah. Summer Swag flavor, baby.

- Get him out of here! - Not without you!

- Haaa! - Oh!

- Ah! - Dang it.

- It all just kinda happened.

[ kids all talking at once ]

- Stop talking!

♪ Danger

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Ooooh-ooooh

♪ Danger!

♪ One two three Force!

[ kids in unison ] - Emergency!

- That's just the doorbell. - I know.

[ music ]

- Woo!

Out of my way poor people, coming through!

- My turn! My turn! When's my turn?!

- Calm down, Bose,

I just got this outta the Christmas bag!

Vroom vrooom.

- Santa!

AWOL: I got him!

- Miles, I found a jet ski in Santa's bag of presents!

It's for me!

- Where's Mika?!

- I had to leave her behind.

Hey you're not all Kramped up anymore.

- Schwoz and I sang a song and then he gave me a present

and now except for these gross dimples I'm fine!

- And I got a Jet Ski! You wanna ride it?

You can't, it's mine!

- He's been like this ever since he got it.

- Nah, he's always been like that.

I gotta go get my sister.

- I gotta get this baby to Lake Swellview.

- You can't leave now!

I know we told them that we took Krampus down to Pound Town,

but he's still actually still out there!

[ Bose gasps ]

- Maybe he's at Lake Swellview because he loves lakes

didn't I tell you that part of the story my bad down the tube!

[ knocking ]

- Are they back already?

Party time?

Who put this here?

[ music ]

- Where's my sister?!

[ ShoutOut super-screams ]

- Ah... why do I get thrown through a door

at this party every year?

- Where's Santa? - Santa's safe.

Where's Krampus?

- I dunno. But if we're here.

And Krampus is not...

- Santa and his magic bag are back at the Man's Nest...

[ music ]

- You'll never get away with this, Krampus!

- He's literally getting away with it right now.

We can't stop him.

- Okay, fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

You'll definitely get away with this, Krampus!

- See, that's better. - Now that makes sense.

- Okay, I get it I get it. - Of course I will.

And I'll be happy knowing you're sad

because you'll never have another Christmas again dudes!

ANNOYING HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: B-b-b-b-b-bye, Christmas!

- Krampus! - 'Sup, dummies?

Say goodbye to all things Santa!

- You'll never get away with thi--

- Gonna stop you right there. - No, he will. He will.

- Don't... just, don't.

Told ya.

[ music ]

- Okay, at least we know it can't get any worse.

- Noooo! - Again, why would you say that?

- Relax. Krampus has Santa, and the magic bag of presents,

and Santa's sleigh.

It can't possibly get any worse.

- Uh, guys?

- Things just got a whole lot better!

- See? - For Krampus!

- Oh man, they got me.

Kudos to them.

- Now that stupid Santa is stashed away

at an undisclosed lame-cation, Grandmaster K--

- That's K-K-K-K-Krampus!

- --is free to travel all over the world,

spreading his super sick message of rap-rock love

and Christmas hate.

- Awwwwwwww yeah!

- No, way...

- It's true! Look...

Look, he's been to Italy...

[ speaking Italian ]

- Russia...

[ speaking Russian ]

- Scotland!

- Wee bit of a problem --

- Ah've just been handed a wee note!

- It says it's party time?

- Did someone say "Party time?!"

K-K-K-K-Krampus!

[ in unison ] - Siiiiiiiiiiiiickkkkkk!

- Aw man.

I gotta get me one of those Russian hats.

- Aiieee! - We need to do something.

- Agreed -- we can't just sit here

and let Krampus ruin Christmas.

- Oh what are we supposed to do?

I mean we don't even know where Krampus took Santa,

and it's already Christmas Eve!

[ tube alert ]

- Why didn't somebody tell me that Lake Swellview is frozen?!

- It's December.

- What did you think would happen?

- Doe! I don't know! Maybe some of that global warming

that you guys won't shut up about!

Schwoz, turn on my coal-burning bath!

- We've got bigger problems.

- Krampus stole Santa, the magic bag of presents, and the sleigh.

- And now he's going around the world

turning people into Krampons.

- Oh my god... Is what I would say

if I didn't already get my present!

Schwoz, where's that coal burning bath?!

- If we can figure out where Krampus took Santa,

maybe Miles can teleport you all there

and you can still defeat Krampus and save Christmas.

- Yeah, but how are we supposed to know where he took him?

- Guys. We know exactly where he is.

In the nine-oh-nine.

- San Bernardino.

[ Bose gasps ]

- No...

- Yes. SHOUTOUT: Chapa's right.

I'll bet Krampus trapped Santa in the same store

where Santa kept him for all that time.

- According to the book it's called "Punk Function."

- Then that's where we'll go.

- As soon as I take my coal-fired bath.

- We do not have time for that!

[ all shouting ]

[ music ]

- and then for the next Spring Break

I went to the Florida Panhandle, or the "Fran-handle"

as the locals call it now--

- Hey babe, remember earlier when you weren't talking?

- Sorta.

- Can we go back to that? - Not a problem.

- I just wanna hear my bro-bro over there cry

because he's all tied up.

He he he ha ha.

- Hey, could I get next-ies on a massage?

- Sure. - No!

You trapped me in here for years,

I'm gonna do the same to you dude!

- That's fair.

- Dangit, AWOL! - What?

I got us here on the first try!

- You were supposed to teleport us outside the store

so I could kick the door in!

- Oh, cheese and rice my ex is here,

this is awkward...

- You used to date this guy?

- Sure did.

- Uh, sure did not!

She att*cked me in a lion's den at the Swellview Zoo!

- Well yeah, but then we went out four more times.

- It sounds like you two used to date.

- Who are you gonna believe? Captain Man or a woman who has

a cardboard cutout of all seven members of BTS in her bathroom?!

- How do you know she has cardboard cutouts of BTS in her bath--

- Can we get on with the fight please?!

- Yeah, we're running out of time to save Christmas!

- Correction: you're already out of time.

Because you're on my turf now dude.

Let me show you how we do things in the nine-oh-nine!

- Alright, kids, you untie Santa, I'll fight this clown.

- Diiieeee! - Let's goooooo!

- Or you guys fight Krampus and I'll untie Santa.

Alright Santa, come here for a second.

- Oww!

- That pain!

- Ohhh no! I'm floating against my will!

- That's right, Krampus.

- You win a prize -- ultra-dark sick-glasses!

- That's i-- - Nope!

- Ewwww! Chain wallets!

Get 'em off me get 'em off!

- Doesn't look like you guys have this!

Will you stop trying to bite me, Santa!

- I don't know who you are!

- Let's see what you got for me.

- Nothing. I don't care if you can teleport.

Plus, you seem pretty chill and under different circumstances,

I can see us being friends.

- Well thank you. But we will never be friends!

- Your call, T-mobil.

And while you're here, please don't enjoy

our selection of sick belts!

- Why is everything in this store so ugly?

- Alright, pal... looks like it's just you and me.

- Ohhhhhhh god they're fighting over me...

- I think it's time we end this -- quick.

- No, no, no no no, not too fast, boys...

- Oh, it'll be fast.

Because I'm indestructible.

And also I got a new girl, Fran.

Her name is Sea-Dude, and she's a jet ski

that I just got for Christmas.

And unlike some people, she doesn't judge me when I cry.

- I just prefer a tough man--

- You would have to be a rock

not to cry at that movie we watched!

- Kung Fu Panda?!

- Whoa, whoa, bro. Reverse those water works.

Did you just say you got a jet ski for Christmas?

- Yes.

- Does it have cupholders? - Two.

- Oh! I was once supposed to get a jet ski

for Christmas -- with cupholders.

But my dad said I was naughty and...

[ blubbering ] he never gave me that jet ski.

- Aw, you're a crier too?

- I'm so sorry that happened to you.

- I think if I had gotten that jet ski

I wouldn't hate Christmas,

I wouldn't wear boot-cut jeans,

I wouldn't have been like this at all!

- Ewww...

- Come here, buddy.

[ Krampus cries ]

- It's okay. It's not your fault.

- I got it! Captain Man!

Why don't you give Krampus your jet ski?

- Ew, no gross it's mine.

- But... maybe, if you gave Krampus the gift he never got--

- No! - --he might not hate Christmas anymore.

- Where are you getting this from?

- He just said it!

[ groans ]

- Been waitin' one whole year to get a third jet ski

and I finally got one!

- You already had two of 'em?!

- I don't know, I might have four or five by now

it's hard to keep track when you're a multi-jet-ski-aire.

- I have been waiting for thousands of years

and I've never gotten one.

- Fight for it! Winner take all!

Also take your shirts off!

- Fran -- stop. - Not now!

- Just give him your fifth jet ski!

- I will buy you another one!

- But what if it doesn't have any cup holders?!

- I'll chip in for cupholders!

[ groans ]

[ muffled ]

- ShoutOut's right.

- Wow -- that's what turned you? Okay.

[ music ]

- Merry Christmas, Krampus.

[ upbeat music ]

- Ugh, I'm leaving.

Hate pretty boys...

- Still ugly.

- Well, I guess that just about fixes everything.

- I still don't know who I am!

- Oh. - Ehhh.

- Can you give Santa his memory back?

- My dad probably could, but we stopped speaking

about three-thousand years ago.

- This timeline makes no sense!

- Look -- we'll figure out the timeline later.

Right now we gotta figure out a way to fix Santa's brain.

Unless someone can think of a way to make

that sleigh fly on its own.

- Oh! Brainstorm -- you think you can lift that thing?

- I can try...

- And I can teleport from the sleigh to peoples' houses

and deliver the presents.

- That's great. - Yeah.

- Ah, it's so dang foggy out tonight,

how are you guys even gonna see where you're going?!

- ShoutOut, with your mouth so bright,

won't you guide this sleigh tonight?

- Christmas is saved! We saved Christmas!

We saved Christmas! We saved Christmas!

- Hey Merry Christmas.

- What's Christmas?

- It's like taco Tuesday but better.

- We saved Christmas! We saved Christmas!

[ music ]

- Who's next on the list?!

- Trent and Mary!

- Bose, levitate us over to KLVY!

- I can't see KLVY! There's too much fog!

- We need a little more light!

- On it!

- Thank you!

- Uh, alright. Back in a krampus!

- Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Here and here.

Enjoy.

- A white button-down shirt!

- A ball!

- Shoes with bottoms!

Blimey!

- A toothbrush!

- Sweetheart, that's a pencil.

- What?

- Nothing, just keep brushing your teeth.

- Alright, who's next?!

- All seven members of BTS! - Where are they?

- Fran's apartment?

- On Mika!

CHAPA: ...and Danger Force rode into the night

saving Christmas for the rest of the world

and un-Krampifying all the good little boys and girls.

The End.

- Now that's a good Christmas story.

- It's a great Christmas story.

- So warm and fuzzy.

- Hey where's Ray?

[ muffled ]

- What are you saying?

- She's saying he's at Lake Havasu

riding Krampus's jet ski!

[ mumbles "Thank you." ]

- You're welcome.

- Ah ha ha ha ha! I LOVE LAKES!

- I KNEW IT!

- WHAT'S A LAKE?!

[ Captain Man and Krampus in unison ] - Ohhhhh, Santa...

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay

♪ I'm okaaaay!

♪ Danger

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Ooooh-ooooh

♪ Danger!

♪ One two three Force!