04x20 - The Trial

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Here are...

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin in...

So I was wondering

if you'd jot down
an outline for me.

Why should I jot
down an outline?

I'm not supposed to
write a theme on, uh,

"American Systems
of Courts and Trials."

- You are.
- I know that.

All the legal material is
right here in these books.

Yes, but you've actually
seen court trials in session,

and I haven't.

Only ones I've seen
are in the movies.

- Well...
- Hi, Daddy.

Hello, kitten.

Why don't you go down to the
courthouse and watch a couple of trials?

- They're open to the public.
- I haven't time.

[groans]

Why don't you come
in and watch television?

They've got an old movie
on with a real juicy trial.

You see, they framed this woman

who m*rder*d her husband,

but she claims
that she was, uh...

Let's see, she was smoking
these cigarettes blindfolded,

and... No, that was
the commercial.

- Anyway, it's real good.
- [knock on door]

Come on.

Well, Mr. Grouseman, I
haven't seen you in a long time.

Hello, Mr. Anderson.

Is this your boy's jacket?

Oh, yes, yes, thanks.

Where did he leave it this time?

I didn't want to say anything
till I was sure it was his,

but I don't like to go
around accusing any boy

if he's not guilty.

Accusing? What do you mean?
Did Bud do something wrong?

He sure did.

Damaged a lot of
property over at my place.

I think the damage
will run at least $.

And then he ran off.

Now, wait, I'm sure
that Bud would never...

I never thought
he would, neither,

but this belongs to
the boy who did it.

But that just can't be
true. Bud would never...

Oh, how could he possibly
cause all that damage

merely climbing a ladder to pick
an apple off Mr. Grouseman's tree?

And then top it off by
falling into some whitewash.

I think Mr. Grouseman
made all that up.

No, Mr. Grouseman has
some pretty conclusive proof.

That's whitewash, all right.

Say, where is Bud anyway?

He should've been
home long before this.

I still feel there must be
some other explanation.

Just because Bud's jacket
was found at the scene,

that doesn't necessarily prove
that he did it, now, does it?

From what I've been reading on courts,
that's just circumstantial evidence.

- Isn't it, Father?
- Yes, that's true, but...

That's not enough to convict
a man, at least not in court.

No, but in this
case it's pretty...

I bet if I were a lawyer and there
was no more evidence than that,

I could get him off.

You're not a lawyer,
and this isn't a court.

If Bud did this, he's going to
have to pay for the damage.

There's no getting around that.

But Bud wouldn't
do a thing like that

and then just run off.

Why, he's not
that kind of a boy.

I know, that's why I'm not
entirely convinced he's guilty

in spite of this evidence.

What's everybody
staring at me for?

Bud, we want to ask you if...

My goodness, your
hair's soaking wet.

What happened?

Well, uh...

we always take showers
after gym class, you know,

and sometimes a guy
doesn't have a chance to dry it.

Gym class?

Your gym class is during school,

and that was over
more than two hours ago.

Yeah, well, uh, I didn't
mean gym class, exactly.

This is kind of more of an
after-school deal, a bunch of guys.

We were playing basketball.

I-I better go dry my hair.

Just a minute, son.

Where's your jacket?

Jacket? Oh, I, uh...

I must've left it at
school or somewhere.

Yes, you left it
somewhere all right.

- Mr. Grouseman's yard.
- M-Mr. Grouseman?

That's right.
Mr. Grouseman was just here

and told us the whole story.

- What story?
- I think you know what story.

Mr. Grouseman
said he didn't mind

if you boys pick an apple
now and then off his tree,

but when you damage $
worth of property doing it,

that's another matter.

A hundred... What did I do?

What bothers me, Bud,
is you weren't man enough

to tell Mr. Grouseman
what you had done.

Instead you ran.

Well, Dad, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Oh, come now, Bud, don't
make it worse by denying it.

But I didn't do it.

Bud, if you didn't do it,

why was your jacket found there?

Well, I don't know
how it got there.

Did it just walk into
Mr. Grouseman's back yard?

Dad, I don't know...

How come the jacket's
covered with whitewash,

which you fell into?

Fell into?

Bud, you're just making
it tougher on yourself.

- But, I didn't...
- Wait a minute.

The first thing I want Bud to do

is to go upstairs
and dry his hair

before he catches
his death of cold.

Then maybe we can
discuss this more calmly.

Now, go on, Bud.

Oh, okay,

but I didn't do anything.

[sighs] Boy, oh boy,

it's sure a sad sight to see someone
convicting himself the way he did.

He couldn't have
done a better job

if he'd come in here with a
big sign saying "I'm guilty."

No, but actually it's still all
just circumstantial evidence.

Now, if this were
a court trial...

- Oh, Betty...
- No, really, Father.

No one actually saw Bud
in Mr. Grouseman's yard.

Mr. Grouseman said he saw a boy,

but he admits he only
guessed it was Bud.

- Sure, but...
- Betty's right.

Bud, I told you to go upstairs,

and you shouldn't
be eavesdropping.

Well, I wasn't, hardly,

b-but you're convicting
me without any sure proof.

Oh, look, son, you...

You want to punish me and
make me pay $ damage

without even
giving me a fair deal.

Your own daughter says that.

All she says is that
circumstantial evidence is...

Father, Bud has a point.

In here it says
that in our country,

a man is presumed to be innocent

until he is proven guilty

beyond a shadow of a doubt.

- Betty, please...
- She's right, isn't she, Dad?

Yes, of course, but in this...

What do you want us to do, have
you arrested so you can have a trial?

No, but I would
like a fair shake.

Hey, why don't
we put on a trial?

- Oh, Betty, not...
- No, really.

Bud will feel better if we
convict him fairly, and it'll help me.

I can write this up for my theme
on the court system. Oh, let's do it.

Would you feel you
were getting a fair shake

if we did this,
gave you a trail?

Well, sure.

It would be better than
what I'm getting now.

All right, we'll do it.

Oh, good.

Where do you want this, Daddy?

Oh, back of the desk.
That's for the judge.

This is the witness chair here.

Boy, this is going to be fun.

Well, we're not doing
this exactly for fun.

It's pretty serious business,
particularly for Bud.

He has quite a lot
at stake in this trial.

I hope we have
some exciting stuff,

like in the one I
just saw on TV.

People were shouting, and...

I think you watch
too many of those.

I better call the
defendant and his attorney.

- Call who?
- Bud and Betty.

Look, Bud,

how do you expect me to be your
attorney if you won't confide in me?

I can't defend you
if you won't tell me...

Okay, don't, then.

I wouldn't get a
square deal anyway.

Even you think I'm guilty.

Now, don't get excited.

If you back out now,
you'll ruin my school theme.

That's all you care
about, isn't it, your theme.

No, it isn't. Now,
here's what we need...

An alibi to prove that
you were some place else

at the time of the crime...

Uh, thing.

Now, exactly where were you
from the time you left school

till the time you got home?

Well, are you just going to stand
there and pry into my personal affairs?

Look, I'm trying
to help you, stupid.

If you want to spend
the best years of your life

paying off $
damages, the go ahead.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That's better.

Now, if you were at the gym,

we can prove that by the fellows

you were playing
basketball with this afternoon.

Now, who were they?

I... can't remember.

Oh, come now, Bud. Even
you can't be that dumb.

Just give me one name.

- I wasn't there.
- That's what I figured.

Bud, in spite of what
this does to my theme,

my advice is for
you to go to Father

and confess that you...

Now, there you go again.

- You think I'm guilty.
- What else can I think?

You won't tell me
where you were.

Maybe I got reasons.

All right, what are they?

[knock on door]

Time's up.

Come on. Court is
about to convene.

We're not ready yet.

Sorry, the wheels of
justice are ready to roll.

Let's go.

Well, Silent Sam, I don't
know what we're going to do.

Luckily, the prosecution
has to give their side first,

so that'll give us a
little time to think.

- Come on.
- Well, just remember.

We got one thing in our favor.

No one can prove he
saw me do anything.

[Betty sighs]

[gavel knocking]

[Kathy] Guilty.

For goodness' sakes, stop that.

This is gravel.

In the trial I saw, the
judge used one all the time.

Well, you're not going to do
it in here, not on my furniture.

What's more. You're
sitting in the wrong place.

That's for the judge.

Who's going to be the judge?

Your mother is.

Me? Oh, no. No, I
couldn't be a judge.

I'm not qualified.

You couldn't be
better qualified.

Who's forced to exercise
more diplomacy, impartiality,

more wisdom and tact,

than a mother of three
does every day of her life?

Now, you sit there, Judge.

Oh, don't sit down
yet. Everyone stand.

Oh, not you.

Hear-ye, hear-ye,

the Maple Street Court,
Township of Springfield,

now in session.

Her Honor Margaret
"Portia" Anderson presiding.

Be seated.

Hey, where do I sit?

What am I in
this trial, nothing?

You're the bailiff,
the clerk of courts,

sergeant at arms,
and court reporter.

Is that good?

Sure, you swear
in the witnesses.

Oh, you mean, do you
swear to tell the truth bit?

That's right.

All right, judge,
you may proceed.

Well, uh, what do I do?

You state that the case is
The People v. Bud Anderson,

the charge, trespassing,
damaging property.

Then you ask the
prosecution... That's me...

To present its arguments.

Oh. Oh, all right.

The, uh...

Um... oh, whatever you said.

Proceed.

Thank you, Your Honor.

I wish to call as
my first witness,

Mr. Jim Anderson.

Hey, wait, can he call himself?

Well, I think...

Can he do that?

Well, I don't really, uh...

- Can he?
- He can.

- He can.
- He can.

All right, Kathy, I'm a
witness, so you swear...

Don't tell me. I
know what to do.

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear to tell...

Do you swear to tell the
truth, the whole truth...

And gee, I wish I
could be the witness.

I do.

- State your name.
- Jim Anderson.

Be seated. Pretty good, huh?

Well, now, wait. Who's
going to question you?

The prosecutor, of course.

Mr. Anderson, did you
have a caller this afternoon?

Yes, sir.

Mr. Grouseman
came to our back door

with a boy's jacket and a...

Excuse me, Mr. Anderson.

Is this the jacket?
It is? Thank you.

Your Honor, I would like to
introduce this as Exhibit A.

Tsk, tsk, that ought
to go to the cleaners.

Let's not tamper
with the evidence.

Now, Mr. Anderson,

why did Mr. Grouseman
bring the jacket to your door?

To ask if it belonged
to my son Bud,

and it did.

Then he said that Bud, in attempting
to pick an apple from his tree...

I object.

He didn't know
for sure it was Bud.

Oh, objection, uh...

Oh, what's the word?

- Sustained.
- [Jim] Overruled.

Well, anyway, Betty's right.

The witness was merely
quoting Mr. Grouseman.

However, we'll
withdraw the name Bud...

for now.

Mr. Anderson, just
what was the damage

and how was it caused?

Well, according
to Mr. Grouseman,

there was a step ladder
standing under an apple tree

near his garage.

[glass shatters]

Hey, you, boy!

Boy! Hey, you, come back here!

Come back, you!

After that, of course,

he brought the
jacket here to me.

Thank you, Mr. Anderson.

Very good witness.

All right, counsel your witness.

Don't worry. I can tear
that testimony to shreds.

Just three things, Mr. Anderson.

, when Mr. Grouseman brought
the jacket to you this afternoon,

he asked you if it
was Bud's, right?

That's right.

In other words, he
did not know for sure.

, when Mr. Grouseman saw a boy

through his upstairs window,

he shouted, "Hey, you, boy."

- Is that right?
- Yes.

He did not say, "Hey, Bud."

Yes, but that was before
he'd identified the jacket...

Thank you. Just answer
my questions. That's all.

, did you see any of the
events you just described?

No.

That's what
Mr. Grouseman told me.

In other words, it
was mere hearsay,

and according to those
books, not admissible testimony.

No more questions, Mr. Anderson.

With no eyewitnesses,
they're whipped.

Well, what do we do now?

Hmm?

Oh, hmm, yes.

Well, uh... supposed to
call my next witness now,

but I don't have any others.

Oh, let me be a witness, please?

No, kitten.

What about Bud coming
home with wet hair?

- Mom, whose side are you on?
- [doorbell rings]

Oh, fine, probably someone
coming to spend the evening.

Oh, dear, come on. Help
me straighten up the furniture.

I don't want anyone to
see the house this way.

No, Mother, you can't,
not in the middle of a trial,

especially when we're
on the verge of winning.

Why, Mr. Grouseman.

Sorry to bother you
again, Mr. Anderson,

but I know you weren't convinced

that your boy was the culprit,

and I was talking to my
neighbor, Mrs. Lester here, and...

[Mrs. Lester] How do you do?

She saw Bud.

She did?

She sure did.

She was an eyewitness.

I'd like them to hear
what you have to say.

But... But she's
telling the truth.

Oh, I don't doubt that at all.

I... I think you know everyone.

Oh, yes, of course.

Please excuse the way
things look, Mrs. Lester.

- We were...
- We were playing
sort of a game

with the children.

[Mrs. Lester] Oh.

Uh, won't you sit
down, Mrs. Lester?

[Mrs. Lester] Thank you.

My goodness, I feel
almost as if I'm in court.

Raise your right hand. Do
you swear to tell the truth...

Oh, she's been seeing
too many trial movies.

Oh, I see.

Of course, honey, I
always tell the truth.

Now, Mrs. Lester, if you'd
tell us exactly what you saw.

I was in my kitchen, and...

This is kind of an
unpleasant task.

I've always thought
so well of Bud,

and I don't like to say
anything against him.

No, of course not, but go on.

I happen to have glanced
out my kitchen window,

and I saw Bud sort of, uh...

Well, sneaking down the alley,

kind of hiding and looking
back over his shoulder.

From what direction
was he coming?

From the direction of
Mr. Grouseman's house, next door.

Go on.

I thought he was acting strange,

so I watched him.

Then he did a
very peculiar thing.

He stopped by my garden
water faucet near the alley

and washed his hair.

I guess you know
why he was doing that.

I couldn't for the life of me

understand why he was doing that

until Mr. Grouseman
told me later

about him falling
into the whitewash.

What time did you
see him doing this?

About :.

I remember because
I had just looked

at my clock timer on my stove.

And what time did the
accident take place in your yard?

Well, it was about :,

just about minutes
before Mr. Lester saw him.

Yes.

Well, thank you for
taking the trouble

to come over and tell
us this, Mrs. Lester.

We appreciate your interest.

I made out an itemized
list for the damages.

I tried to keep it down.

It comes to $.

Yes, I'll see that this is taken
care of just as soon as possible.

Bud, why didn't
you tell us the truth?

Why did you try to make
us believe that silly story

of a shower at the gym?

What's happened to you, Bud?

Wait, Mom...

Just can't ask me questions
if I'm not on the witness stand.

Oh, I'm through with
all that court stuff.

I'm talking to you
as your mother.

Your Honor, I guess
it goes without saying,

the prosecution rests
with only one comment.

Bud, I don't know

when I've ever been
so disappointed in you.

Well, gosh, you're
saying these things

before we've had a chance
to present our side of the case.

Come on, Betty, let's...

Bud, we're not going to drag
this farcical thing out any longer.

- But, Mom...
- We're all through.

Mom.

Dad, didn't you agree that I
was going to get a fair trial?

Yes, that's true, but...

Well, okay, then. Come on,
Betty, get up and start our case.

Are you out of your mind?

We have no case left.

What do you mean?

I've got an alibi you can use.

You claim that you
were in Pittsburgh

at a hardware convention...

- Kathy.
- Well, in this movie, I saw...

All right, all right, kitten.

Look, dopey, what little
case we had to begin with,

Mrs. Lester pulled the
rug right out from under it.

Now, wait.

Mrs. Lester only saw
me washing my hair.

Did she see me climb a
ladder in Mr. Grouseman's yard?

No.

Bud, how can you persist
in the face of all we know?

My gosh, everybody's against me.

Nobody'll even listen to me.

Bud, if you had anything to say,

we'd be more than eager
to hear it, but so far...

Even if you had anything
to say, you wouldn't say it.

You won't tell anything,
not even to me.

- Tell the Pittsburgh alibi...
- Kathy.

Do you have anything to say?

No.

And if you had, would
you tell it? Would you talk?

Guess it's the only
thing I can do now.

Exactly what does that mean?

I'll talk.

I'm lurking in the dark here,

but I guess the first
question to ask you is

did you enter
Mr. Grouseman's yard

around : this afternoon,

climb a ladder, and
cause any damage?

No, I did not.

Oh, Bud, are you still
going to insist that you...

Mother, let him tell
whatever he has to say.

If you did not enter
Mr. Grouseman's yard at that time,

will you please tell the court

and me, too,

where you were and
what you were doing?

I was, uh...

getting my hair curled.

Hair curled?

There, now, you see?
You're making fun of me.

I knew you would,
but that's the truth.

- Go on.
- Well, I...

carried April Adams'
books home for her,

and she invited me in,

and somehow she
got to talking about...

how cute I'd look
with curly, wavy hair.

[Kathy giggles]

And, uh...

Well, then somehow...

I swear I don't know
how she did this,

but she talked me into letting
her put some waves in my hair.

And when I started to leave,

I saw Fatty Beamer going by,

and I couldn't let Fatty
see me looking like that,

so I went out the
back way instead.

And snuck down the alley.

That's why I was sneaking, see?

And then I saw Mrs.
Lester's water faucet,

and I stopped to, you know,
kind of rinse out my hair,

to get the waves out of it.

Well, that's how it happened.

Well, it did.

The one about Pittsburgh
would've been better than that.

- You be quiet.
- I give up.

Do you want to ask him anything?

No, only this.

The witness appears to
have a very vivid imagination,

so perhaps he can tell us

how his jacket
jumped off his back

and tiptoed into
Mr. Grouseman's yard.

Dad, I told you, I don't
know how it got there.

[sighs] All right, all right,

we won't discuss it anymore.

Your problem
now is to figure out

how you're going to pay that
$ bill for the damages you...

But Dad, why
should I pay for it?

I said we weren't going
to discuss it anymore.

- [phone rings]
- But, Dad...

The trial is over, and I don't
want to hear any more about it.

- But, Dad...
- You heard
what your father said.

Hello?

Yes, he's here. Do
you want to talk to him?

What?

Now, wait a minute.
Are you sure about that?

Yes, it's wonderful.

I'll tell him. Bye.

Why didn't we think of that?

Hey, hold everything.

We want to reopen the trial.

Oh, now, Betty, no.

We're not going
through any more of this.

I have something that
changes the whole complexion.

Look, Betty, tricks aren't
going to help him now.

This isn't any trick, honest,

and we did agree to give
Bud a fair deal, didn't we?

- Yeah, certainly, but...
- All right, then, court's
back in session.

[Jim groans]

Come on.

Now, then, I think the
most incriminating evidence

we have against Bud

is finding his jacket at the
scene of the crime, right?

Okay, now, Bud,

put on your jacket.

Walk over in the corner
behind the big chair and put it on.

- What for?
- Go on.

Okay, now, Bud, as
soon as you have it on,

you come out as though you were
sneaking into Mr. Grouseman's yard.

Okay, Bud, come on.

Why, that jacket,
it's much too large.

[Betty] That's right.

It's not his.

That was April Adams
on the phone just now,

and she called to say that
Bud left his jacket at her house

after the hair curling.

Well, I'll be.

It just never occurred
to me that it wasn't his.

Wait, then, whose is that?

Search me.

Hey, wait, Fatty Beamer,
he has one exactly like this,

and remember?

I saw him right near here when I
was coming out of April's house.

Must've been Fatty.

Think I ought to become
a lawyer, Mother?

Well, maybe,

but I know I'm not
much of a judge.

I feel so ashamed now

for being so ready to
believe the worst about Bud.

Yes, I think this court owes
the defendant a big apology.

Bud, I...

I hope you'll
accept our apology,

and I hope we've all
learned something from this.

Boy, I sure have.

Never let a woman talk
you into curling your hair.