05x16 - Kathy, Girl Executive

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Father Knows Best". Aired: October 3, 1954 - May 23, 1960.*
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The series, which began on radio in 1949, follows the lives of the Andersons, a middle-class family living in the town of Springfield.
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05x16 - Kathy, Girl Executive

Post by bunniefuu »

(upbeat theme music)

- [Announcer] Robert Young.

And Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin.

In Father Knows Best.

- And I can get this power mower for only,

for only $ , which you'll have to admit is dirt cheap.

- Well, sure, but why don't you go out

and mow lawns with our hand mower?

That way you'll be in business

without anyone having to put up any money.

- That's too slow, Dad.

I can mow three times as many lawns with a power mower.

- Hold the door, will you?

- Okay, that's the only way you can

make money nowadays, mass production.

(laughter)

- Let me get this straight.

You wanna form a lawn mowing corporation,

and you want us to invest enough money

so you can buy a power mower?

- And I'll do all the work,

and everybody'll get a cut of the profits.

After I get my wages, of course.

- I see.

- Mom and Betty have already invested in the corporation,

but you can still get in on it, Dad.

- Lucky me.

(laughter)

Tell me this, you need $ .

So how much did the others invest,

and how much do I have to put up?

- Well, only, not much.

- How much is not much?

- Well, actually, Bettyonly put up a dollar.

But Mom chunked in $ , so that only leaves.

- So that only leaves $ the old man has to chunk in.

That's just about what I figured.

- Look at the big profits you'll make, Dad.

- Bud, I can't be handing out $ every time I turn around.

I'm not made of money, you know.

- Yes, of course, that'sa very nice locket

that Burgess gave you, but that still doesn't mean

that you have togive him a gift.

- [Kathy] But, Mother.

- Certainly not a big expensive gift,

as you wanna give him.

- But, Mother, you don'twant Burgess to think

I come from a cheap family, do you?

- No, but little girls don't go around

giving presents to boys.

- I'm not a little girl anymore.

This shows I'm going steady with Burgess, and well,

oh, Daddy, I wanna talk to you.

(laughter)

I need some money.

- You too?

- Oh no you don't, I saw him first.

- [Kathy] No youdidn't, I saw him first.

- Heaven's sakes, children, can't you leave

your father alone for one minute?

Sometimes I wonder how he has enough nerve to come home.

- Dad and I had already started a business discussion,

and we wanna finish it, don't we, Dad?

- Well, here, empty this and let him relax for a moment.

- But Mom.

- Please.

- Okay, don't go away,Dad, I'll be right back.

(laughter)

- You know, if this big demand for money keeps up,

you and I better take up counterfeiting.

- Here, let me hang up your things, Daddy.

You're such a nice father.

I just love to do things for you.

(laughter)

- All I need is five or dollars to buy Burgess something.

- Five or dollars?

- Well, sure, look at the locket he gave me.

Musta cost a hundred dollars.

- Oh, I doubt that.

- Well, it must have.

It's real silver, and I promised Burgess

I'd never take it off,no matter what happens.

- Not even to take a shower?

- I can only take tub baths from here on.

(laughter)

- Such devotion, but it isn't necessary

for you to buy him a present.

It would be better to do something personal

like making him a batch of cookies.

- Cookies?

Daddy, have you no feelings, no taste?

When a boy gives a girla hundred-dollar locket,

the least she can do is givehim something that costs a lot.

- Well, Kathy, I don't think Burgess

could afford a locket that cost a hundred dollars.

- Yes, he could.

His father quit that salesman job.

He's president of a corporation now.

Manufactures plastic umbrellas,

so Burgess can get all the money he wants from him.

- Well, good for him.

- But, Daddy.

- Hi ya, Bud.

(laughter)

(soft music)

- Kathy, old kid, is that locket really worth a lot?

- Of course it is.

- Well look, if you really wanna buy old Burgess

something expensive, I've got a way

you can make a lot of money.

- Really, how?

- Well I've got thislawn mowing corporation

that'll pay big profitsto its investors.

Now you take that locket it and sell it.

- Sell it, sell my locket?

The locket that Burgess gave me to rivet our love?

I'd die before I'd give this up.

(laughter)

(soft music)

- Hi, Betty.

Say by the way, Betty old pal.

- I've already given youthe one and only dollar

I'm going to invest in your company, old pal.

(laughter)

- I thought you were againstthis corporation idea of Bud's.

- I was, especially when I found out

how much it would cost me.

But on the other hand, maybe we shouldn't discourage him.

After all, it's a legitimate way to raise capital.

And he had the initiative to try it.

Who knows?

His company plan might even work out.

- What are you talking about, Bud's fly-by-night scheme?

- Yes.

- Well I agree weshouldn't discourage him

from being enterprising,but if you've already

turned him down.

- Oh don't worry, he's not gonna give up this easily.

He'll be around again, hammering away at it.

But this time, we'll let him talk us into investing

our money in the corporation.

- Investing what money?

I've already given him all I can afford.

- Well here.

I'll give each of you some money.

If the company fails, we can always sell the power mower

and get our money back.

Here.

- Gee, I wish I couldraise money this easily.

- Well don't just give it to him.

Make him work for it.

Put up a lot of resistance.

Shh, here he comes.

Remember now, make him work for it.

Hi, Bud.

(laughter)

(soft music)

- Well, what was it you started to ask me

in the hallway, old pal?

- I don't wanna ask anything.

- Well, how's the corporation coming?

- What corporation?

(laughter)

- Well, Bud, what kind of

mower machine doyou plan to buy?

- All right, cut it out, don't rub it in.

- Why not?

- Oh, we might even be talked into investing

some more money.

- Oh sure.

- Oh wait, don't you think it would be

a good investment for us?

- You'd lose your shirts.

(laughter)

- Wait, numbskull, look.

I want to invest, really.

- Well, as a matter of fact, I do too.

You talked so convincingly.

- Okay, what's the big joke?

- There's no joke, don't you want it?

Here, take it.

- Is this for real?

- Look, if you don't want it.

- No, I want it.

Dad?

(laughter)

(soft music)

- Boy, we certainlymade him work for that.

(laughter)

- Now that you mention it, it does seem kinda strange.

They didn't put upmuch resistance at all.

In fact, Kathy even came looking for me.

I know Dad gave her the money she chunked in, though.

- Maybe it's a trap.

- Yeah, I keep feeling they know something I don't.

- Maybe they figured out that by the time

you split the profits between all of them,

there won't be much left for you.

- Oh know, you're forgetting that before anybody gets

their profits, I get my wages.

I'm the one who's gonna make the big money on this deal.

I'm the head man.

- Oh, you got the mower already.

May I run it, Bud?

- Hold it, squeegee, just don't handle the merchandise.

Keep your hands off.

- No way, don't forget, I'm part of the corporation.

- You may be part of it,but I'm running it, see,

so let's get that straight right now.

- I'm a bigger part of it than you are.

I put more money in it.

- More of Dad's money, you mean.

So just don't go getting any big ideas.

- Daddy, Bud won't evenlet me touch the mower,

and I'm part owner.

- I just don't want her to ruin it

before I have a chance to startmaking profits for everyone.

- I have some rights in the company, don't I, Daddy?

- Well, now wait.

Hello, Kippy.

- Oh, hi, Mr. Henderson.

- We'd better decide.

- Look, if I'm gonna run this company,

I can't have a lotta interference.

- Well that's what we better decide, who's gonna run it.

- What do you mean?

- Well every corporation has to have a president to run it.

- President? Well I'm the head man.

- Well not necessarily,you're just the fella

we hired to do the work.

That doesn't mean that you can't be president, too,

but you have to be elected.

- Well that's the goofiest.

Okay, then, let's getthis election over with.

- Fine, we'll have the election tonight.

- I hope you win it, Daddy,

so I can have a corporation president for a father,

just like Burgess.

(laughter)

- All right now, write down your choice

of president of the corporation.

Fold your ballot, and hand it in.

- And no stuffing of the ballot box, old pal brother.

- I still don't see why we're doing this.

The company was all my idea,

and I'm the one who's gonna be doing all the work.

- But it's our capital, so vote.

- I wish I'd get at least one vote.

No one ever votes for me.

- Oh, I think there's a chance you might get one vote.

(laughter)

Well, there's my ballot.

- Okay, Betty, write these down.

(laughter)

One vote for Daddy.

Thank you, Kathy.

One vote for Bud.

- Hey, that's Bud's handwriting.

He voted for himself.

- So what?

- I didn't know you could do that.

I wish I had voted for myself.

- And a vote for Kathy.

- Hurray.

(laughter)

- And another vote for Kathy.

- What?

- The last vote is for,

Kathy.

(laughter)

- Now wait.

This is a frame-up, I demand a recount.

- There they are, count them.

Five votes, one for you, one for me and three for Kathy.

- She can't be pres --

- It's a fair, legaland honorable election.

So, Kathy, congratulations,

you are now president of the corporation.

- Hurray for me.

(laughter)

- You're not really areal president, are you?

- Well sure I am.

I was officially elected honestly.

- I never knew they had girl presidents.

- You don't care, do you?

I mean, this won't comebetween us, will it?

- Well I don't know.

I've never gone steady with a corporation president before.

Course I can't say anything against them,

because my Dad's one.

(laughter)

- Yeah, tell me again all the things your dad does

as president of his corporation,

so I'll know how to act.

I need your advice.

- Well, he bosses everything,

and he tells everybody what to do,

and he signs all the checks.

- Tell me about the money again.

- That all belongs to him, of course.

He can do anything he wants with it.

- Good.

Tell me, Burgess, if you could have anything you wanted,

anything in the whole world,

what would you want?

- A -foot cabin cruiser.

(laughter)

- How much do they cost?

- Well, they're expensive.

I bet they cost two or dollars.

(laughter)

- And Burgess wasn't quite sure he liked the idea

of dating a corporation president.

(laughter)

But Kathy played it smart.

She appealed to the maleego and asked his advice

on how to handle her job.

- Well, where did she learn that trick so young?

- That's pure instinct in the female of the species.

(laughter)

- Where's Bud, is he home yet?

- No, I think he'sstill out mowing lawns.

- Well, I'm glad he's working, because I don't feel

the money is growing interest enough.

I'd better have a talk with him.

- Get a load of that.

Will success spoil President Kathy?

(laughter)

- He told me I'd make a lotta big money outta this deal.

But so far.

Oh, there he comes.

Okay, drop it in.

(laughter)

How much did you take in this time?

- Not so grabby.

- Ah, you're doing a little better.

- A little better, whatdo you expect, blood?

(laughter)

I'm keeping this one for guess, see.

- Oh no, I just gave you cents for gas yesterday.

- I used it all up.

I can't run the mower on water, you know.

- No, but maybe you're just wasting gas.

Maybe if you adjusted the motor, it might work.

- Look, I don't need you to tell me how to run the motor.

Now just fork over some gas money.

- Make out a slip for it.

(laughter)

Daddy says I should keeptrack of the expenses.

Just make it out for cents.

(laughter)

(laughter)

(upbeat music)

(laughter)

(laughter)

- Dad, when am I gonna start getting

my wages outta this chintzy company?

- Well, don't ask me, ask the president.

- And there's another thing.

How much longer do I have to put up with that,

that hollow mockery?

She's even starting to boss me around.

- Well, I guess she's just taking her job seriously.

Let her have her fun.

- Well it's no fun for me.

I tell you it's humiliating,

having to ask mylittle sister for money

to buy gas for the mower.

I practically have to get down on my knees and beg her.

- Good, shows she's watching the purse strings

of our corporation very carefully.

Gives me more confidence in her.

- Well that isn't what she gives me.

And I can tell you right now, I'm gonna

throw her out of the company as soon as I can.

(soft music)

(laughter)

- Am I gonna be thrown out of the company?

- No, of course not.

You have some pretty strong supporters

among the board members.

- I hope I don't get thrown out.

At least not for a while.

That'd ruin my plans.

- What kinda plans, corporation plans?

- No, personal.

How much longer do youthink I'll be president?

- Well, that depends on how good a president you are.

And in that connection,I might suggest that

you go easy on bossing Bud.

After all, he's the onewho brings in the money.

- Well, aren't I supposed to boss him?

Burgess' father bosses his workers.

- Well, yes, but a good executive is one

who runs things withoutbeing bossy, understand?

- Well I was justtrying to do a good job.

- You are, but go easy around Bud.

And I think it would be a good idea if you told him

you're gonna call ameeting in about a week.

- I am?

- Yes, and tell him that you're gonna give a financial

report and pay him his wages.

And if there's anything left over,

you'll declare a dividend.

- Check.

(laughter)

- Man this is really keeno?

- Well of course it isn't quite feet long,

but this is all I couldafford, right now.

- Well I never meant you were supposed

to buy me that cabin cruiser.

Shouldn't even have bought me this.

- Oh but I wanted to, because you gave me this.

I've never had it off.

And I never never will.

- I won't be able to saythe same for my boat.

I can't very well wear it around my neck.

- That'd look funny.

- But I sure do like this.

Hey, maybe we could have a date tonight.

Like say me coming over to see you.

- Aw, gee, I'm sorry, Burgess,

but I have to run a corporation meeting tonight.

Business, you know.

- Yeah I know.

You're beginning toremind me of my father.

(laughter)

- Well, um,

maybe we could have thatdate tomorrow night.

- Yeah, okay.

Well, thanks again for the swell boat.

Goodbye.

- Oh, that's all right.

I'll get you something better in a few weeks.

Goodbye, Burgess.

(upbeat music)

- Corporation meetingwill now come to order.

Now first, I'll call the roll.

- We don't want a roll call.

Just open up theprecious treasure chest

and dish out my wages.

- Now, Bud, be patient.

- Everybody here, okay.

Now then, I feel our meeting would be much nicer

if we had some refreshments, so.

- We don't want refreshments.

- We want profits.

- Well you're gonna get refreshments, see.

Daddy, would you pass out the gumdrops?

- Yes, Miss President.

- Oh fine, the board of directors

sitting around eating candy.

- Gumdrop?

- Thank you.

- Oh, thank you.

- Now the next thing I want to take up.

- I don't want any, I just want my wages, that's all.

- We're coming to that,

but first I wanna bringup about you getting out

and mowing more lawns.

- More lawns?

My gosh, I'm, working my head to the bone right now.

Look at the blisters I'm getting.

And for what, a lotta silly prattle.

- Well it's all for your own good.

If you wanna lot of wages,

you'll have to bring in more money.

(laughter)

- Well, I've already brought in nearly bucks.

- But we have expenses.

- What expenses?

A few centses for gasfor the mower is all.

- Of course, there aregumdrops for the board members.

- Hey, wait a minute, did you spend

our money on this candy?

- Well I'm the president, aren't I?

- Well, sure, but you can't spend that money

on just anything you want to.

That belongs to the corporation.

- Well, Burgess' fathercan do anything he wants

with the money in his corporation.

- Oh I doubt that.

- But Burgess said so.

- Well regardless, Kathy, before you spend any more

of the company money on candy,

you better check with the other members.

- Come on, let's get on with this meeting.

Open up the box, and let me have my salary.

- And our profits.

(laughter)

- Here, Daddy, you better figure out this part of it.

- Okay, prez.

- Prez.

(laughter)

- Well, let's see how big a melon we have to slice up.

There ought to be just about, uh,

my gosh, there's hardly $ here.

(laughter)

- [Bud] Four dollars!

- That can't be.

- What did you do with all the rest of the money?

- I spent it.

- Spent it?

- On what?

- On a motorboat for Burgess.

- For Burgess, outta my money.

You can't.

That's stealing.

- Oh now, Bud, that'snot a nice thing to say.

- But she just --

- Okay, calm down and let's find out the facts.

- You said yourself that if I invested in your old company,

I'd have lots of money to buy Burgess a present.

- Well I didn't mean like this.

You're a crook, Kathy, nothing but a crook.

- Oh, Bud.

(soft music)

- Kathy, come back here.

- Wait, Kathy.

Now, Bud, I'm ashamed of you.

- Ashamed of me?

Well, what about her?

Your own daughter, a common embezzler.

(soft music)

- Well sure, Bud, everything you say is true.

But even so, you shouldn't have been so rough on Kathy.

She doesn't understand business.

- Well, okay then, she shouldn't have been president.

I tried to tell you that, but oh no.

- Well it would have been all right if Burgess

hadn't given herthose big ideas.

We shouldn't blame her too much.

- Oh, well, it's all right for you to talk.

You're not losing what I am.

I slaved and sweated and broke my back.

And then got robbed.

- Look, Bud, I know how you feel, but

Kathy just wasn't able to grasp the idea.

- She was able to graspthe money, all right.

And she's gonna pay it all back, every cent of it.

And she oughta be punished too.

- Well I think she's suffering enough right now.

How'd you make out with the president?

- Not well at all.

Well, she has her door locked, and she wouldn't let me in.

- Poor kid, she'sprobably so embarrassed

she can't face any of us.

- She's probably up there laughing at the big joke

she played on everyone.

- Oh, Bud.

- And the worst partof it is she has no way

of paying me back all the money she stole from me.

- Bud, I'm ashamed of you for talking that way.

- [Bud] Well, gosh, Mom,how would you like it

if some little thief stole all the money

you'd knocked yourself our earning?

- [Margaret] Shedidn't steal it.

- [Bud] Well, I don't know what else you'd call it.

- Well, I think our corporationshould be able to meet

a crisis without everyone falling to pieces.

- Hey, there she is!

Kathy!

Come back here, Kathy.

(upbeat music)

- What's that, a message?

- Surprised she didn't tie a rock to it

and aim it at me.

- Oh, hush, Bud.

- It's a note all right, listen to this.

I resign from president.

Sell this, and get your money back.

- Sell what?

- This.

- Oh no, her locket.

- Oh, and that she wasnever going to take off.

- Not even to take a bath.

- Gee, I know how awful she must feel

about giving that up.

I remember how I treasured the first locket

a boy ever gave me.

- Bud, I hope you realize what this means to Kathy.

- Oh, yeah, I know it's worth a lot.

- It's worth a lot only to Kathy.

To her, it's worth much much more

than the three or four dollars it cost.

- Three or four, is that all it cost?

- But these are not things you measure in money.

- Here, Bud, it's not much on what the company owes you,

but, it's a starter.

(soft music)

- Well there probably isn't much

of a market for used lockets.

Better give it back to Kathy.

- You know, I'm beginning to like him.

Isn't that terrible?

(laughter)

(doorbell ringing)

- [Margaret] Oh, I wonder who that could be.

- [Jim] Well, Burgess.

- Hi, Mr. Anderson.

- Come in, Burgess.

- I can't stay.

My dad's out in the car.

He says I mustn't keep this.

Hi, Mrs. Anderson.

He says it's too expensive,

and anyway, us men shouldn't accept gifts from girls.

Unless we're married.

(laughter)

- I see.

- Will you explain it to Kathy?

- Yes, I'll tell Kathy, Burgess.

- Well, perhaps you can explain it

to her yourself, Burgess.

I'll go and tell Kathy you're here.

- Kathy'll be right down, Burgess.

- Okay, but I gotta hurry.

My dad has to get home and do some work.

He's having trouble with his corporation.

- I know exactly what you mean.

(laughter)

- Hi.

- Hi.

You won't hate me for bringing back the boat, will you?

- Oh, no.

- You can take it backand get the money back.

Maybe use the money for yourself.

- Oh I will.

I'll use it to save my life.

And reputation.

- Huh?

- And Burgess, the corporation won't come

between us anymore.

I resigned.

(laughter)

(soft music)

(laughter)

(applause)

(upbeat theme music)
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