06x01 - A Day in the Country

[bunniefuu]

(orchestral music)

- [Announcer] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin.

In "Father Knows Best."

(Margaret sings idly)

- Hey Bud, Bud!

- Yes? - Oh!

(audience laughs)

- Oh, Bud, will you wrap these bean pots in newspapers?

It'll help keep them warm during the trip.

- Okay, say, how come you always bake beans

for these family reunions?

Don't your relatives ever eat anything besides beans?

- Oh sure they do, but it's gotten to be

sort of a traditionthat I bring the beans,

and Cousin Betsybrings the Ger--

- The German potato salad?

And I Aunt Oli the Bana Bread,

and Olive, the meatloaf.

- Mm!

((audience laughs)

- It's not that I have anything against families,

it's just that they ought to have better sense

than to get together for reunions.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, family reunions aren't so bad.

They make you just that much happier

to get back home again!

(audience laughs)

- Mother, here's that lamp that you wanted

to take to Esther.

- Oh, thank you for putting it in.

- I was checking the map, honey.

I believe we can save some time

by taking this little road right here, see.

That'd bring us back onto the highway

just a mile from theturnoff to Lemon Falls.

- Well is it a safe road to take?

- Oh sure I've been over it,

it's no shorter but we'd miss all the heavy traffic

and we wouldn't have to keep slowing down

to go through all theselittle towns, see?

There's nothing between this point and the highway,

just a gas station as I recall.

- Well it's fine with me,

especially if it'll save us some time

- Yeah, then, too, we can see some different sceneries.

Might as well get a little enjoyment outta this thing.

(audience laughs)

- What do you mean, "get a little enjoyment out of it?"

- Oh, I meant the trip,

always before we've taken the main highway to Lemon Falls,

that's all I meant.

- Jim, if you don't want to go to Esther's for the reunion,

you don't have to, Bud can drive.

- No, I wanna go.

- I can tell them you have to work.

- No, I'm all set.

Here, I'll help you with that.

If I wasn't interested in this trip,

why would I have gone to the trouble

of borrowing this station wagon to haul the clothes

and the lamp and the beans, and everything?

(audience laughs)

- That was thoughtful of you.

- Oh, I wanna go, really, I'm looking forward to it.

- Well, I just wish you didn't always

look forward to these reunions

with such a pained expression.

(audience laughs)

Oh what's this?

School books, don't tell me you think

this is so dull, you'd prefer to study.

- No, but I get tired sitting around hearing those relatives

talk about the same things every year.

- You don't have tolisten, there are plenty

of children there to play with.

- Yeah, you can have a lot of yells

watching that Maddie do a rerun

of her appendix operation.

(audience laughs)

Oh I tell you Bessie, to this day I have to eat like a bird!

(titters)

Fred, would you give me another helping

of that potato salad,and maybe some pickles.

(Jim chuckles)

Bessie, I believe I'll try another sliver

of that mince pie.

(both laugh)

(audience laughs)

Just one little sliver!

- I remember one sliver was about, oh.

- The slivers are this big.

She eats about three pies in the course of the reunion.

- I think we better get going,

are we all ready?

- I better go in and see if we've turned off everything.

- Oh wait, honey, I'll do it.

- No, no, I have to get my gloves anyway.

- Daddy, do we have to go to Lemon Falls?

- Certainly we do!

- I feel as though Iwas dragging someone off

to some horrible fate.

- Well everyone's just kidding, as we always do.

We really enjoy goingto Lemon Falls, Really!

(cupboard slams)

- Yes, of course, well, come along,

we'd better get going.

- All aboard, let's go ladies,

watch your step, move to the rear of the bus please,

have your tickets ready, let's go.

Oh, I'm sorry, oh, get it all right?

Well, next stop, Aunt Esther's historic backyard

in scenic Lemon Falls!

(pleasant orchestral music)

Well that's the beauty of a road like this.

You can gawk around without worrying about a lot

of other cars and trucks

(car thumps)

(all cry out)

Oh, watch yourself.

(audience laughs)

Sorry.

- Oh for goodness sakes, what was that?

- Fine new road.

(whistles)

- Are we almost there Daddy?

- Oh no, no, it'll be at least another,

oh hour and a half, maybe even more.

(engine sputters)

- Yeah that's where it is all right, Dad,

it's the fuel pump.

- Oh dear, this wouldn't have happened

if we'd had our own car.

Can this fuel pump be fixed?

- No, it's sh*t, all we can do now is get a new one.

- Well can't this be wired together or something?

(Bud chuckles)

- I'm afraid not, honey.

Watch it - Oh, dear.

Here we are out in the middle of nowhere.

Oh I knew we shouldn'thave taken the shortcut.

- [Jim] Oh there--

- You should've stuck to the highway, Dad,

where we could get some help.

- Oh, that's for sure.

- No, we're not in bad shape, no problem,

I'm sure that gas station I mentioned

is just a mile or two down the road.

I can walk that in no time.

- [Kathy] What's the matter?

- Yeah I'll go with ya.

- Oh, no, you'd better stay here

and keep an eye on things, you know.

(chuckles)

I won't be long.

And if you get hungry, you can always eat beans!

- Bye! - Don't take too long!

- Hurry back!

How long are we gonna be stranded here?

- Oh I don't know, not long I hope.

(hopeful music)

- Seven miles?

(audience laughs)

(car engine approaches)

(optimistic music)

(car zooms past)

(audience laughs)

Hello, anybody here?

- Nope, just us chickens!

(audience laughs)

Never heard you drive up, boy.

- I didn't, I walked.

(audience laughs)

- Well, got a nice day for it.

- Are you Norm?

- No, I'm Ed, Norm's my boy.

I just help out around here.

Actually, I'm retired my old lady got sick

of seeing me sitting around the place.

Here I am, a grease monkey.

Well, a man has to keephis hand in, you know.

- Well, what I came here--

- Sorry, Norm ain't here,

where'd you and him knowone another, Elk's Club?

(audience laughs)

- No I don't know him, I just came in

to see if he had a fuel pump.

See, our car broke down on the road to Lemon Falls.

- Oh, why didn't you say so?

Of course we got fuel pumps.

Come on, we'll fix you up.

- Good.

- Be on your way.

(metal clangs)

What make car you got, what year?

- Oh, a --

- Lemon Falls, you know I know a lot of folks over there.

The McElroys, old Harv,you know he hasn't got

the drugstore anymore?

- He hasn't?

- Nope, lost it, I knowdit was gonna happen

sooner or later, see, he got to run around

with that red-haired woman.

- Here's a fuel pump that'll fit in my car.

- Uh huh, what's it? - Mm-hmm.

- What's that number?

- Four, three, six, five--

- Okay.

Yeah, chasing around that red-headed woman,

spending money on her, even bought her

a Siamesian cat.

(audience laughs)

- Why is this taking so long?

Father said it was just a mile or so.

Maybe he figured out one of his shortcuts.

(audience laughs)

You know how much longer those take.

- Say, I just thought of something,

I don't know when I could put that pump in for ya,

Norm's got the truck out on a tow job,

won't be back for a hour, hour and a half.

- Oh, well, if you'll lend me some tools,

my boy and I can put it in.

- Oh well, good, fine.

Sorry you have to walk back.

If I didn't have that crate tore out, we could use that.

(audience laughs)

- That's okay.

- What's that model number again?

- Oh, one...

- Uh-Oh, I just remembered I put the last one of them

in a fella's car about a month ago.

(audience laughs)

- What do we do now?

- Well, quick as Norm gets here,

he can highball it over to Lemon Falls

and pick one up!

(audience laughs)

- But that's an hour and a half drive,

and an hour and a half back here that's three hours!

And if we have to wait for Norm

to get back here with the truck, oh man.

That really sh**t this day.

- Huh, cuts into it, yes.

(audience laughs)

Well.

- May I use your phone?

I better call therelatives in Lemon Falls

and give them the bad news.

- Yeah, go right ahead,back there on the wall.

Look up them old walls.

as long as you're calling over there,

tell them to say hello to ol Harv for me!

(audience laughs)

- I'm getting hungry.

- Yeah, so am I.

- Wish we'd never come on this darn old trip.

- Cathy, that'll be enough.

I know you don't enjoy these trips,

- Look, here comes Father!

- But he's walking, where's the repair truck?

- Well maybe not, maybehe's got it with him.

- Daddy, Daddy!

- Did you get the fuel pump, Dad?

(kids chatter)

- Well, the answer is yes and no.

There's one coming, but the truck has to pick it up

in Lemon Falls.

- [Kids] Lemon Falls, but why?

- At least we won't starve, see?

Soda pop and candy bars.

And in the car, two potsof savory baked beans.

Who could ask for more?

(kids chatter and sigh with relief)

- Feel how cold they are!

- But the beans are for the reunion!

- Yeah, well we might have to dip into one pot.

We probably will be here for a while.

- How long?

- Well you see, Norm's truck is out on a tow job.

And he can't go for thepump until he gets back.

- Well how long will that take?

- Um, a while.

(audience laughs)

- How long?

- Just about four hours.

- [Kids] Four hours?

- But Jim, it'll be night by the time we get there

and everyone will have left.

- I know honey, but you see--

- Oh, and I have those clothes for Bessie

and the lamp for Esther.

- Why Ester willbe worried sick!

- Oh no, no, I called her from the gas station,

explained everything, she understands.

(Margaret sighs)

I'm sorry honey, but it couldn't be helped.

(melancholy music)

Well, Ludlow, you'dbetter get those beans.

(audience laughs)

- Just a minute, father,

how do you propose we eat the beans?

By the handful?

- No, I brought these paper cups for that.

- Then we'll drink the beans.

(audience laughs)

- Now, I'll admit I failed there.

They didn't have a thing we could use for forks or spoons.

But I thought we'd havefun whittling our own!

- Whittle our own forks?

- Sure, now's the time to show our ingenuity.

We'll have a contest to see who makes the best one.

The winner gets the extra candy bar.

Well, here's one Kn*fe you can use,

I think there's another one in the glove compartment.

You'll have to trade off.

- Well, let's get started whittling.

Man, I'm starved.

- [Kathy] Me too!

- [Betty] We're not going to Lemon Falls!

(audience laughs)

- [Kathy] Will you helpme do mine, please?

- [Bud] Okay.

- Your timing is off!

You gotta put the beans and the pork

in your mouth at the same time.

(audience laughs)

(laughs)

- Hey, look at me do it.

(audience laughs)

- You know if the tribe at Lemon Falls

could only see us now.

(audience laughs)

Can't you just imagine Aunt Bessie

trying to eat a potato salad with a stick?

(laughs)

Well, anybody want seconds?

Or you want your dessert now?

- I'm hungry, I want dessert. - Dessert, now.

- Oh here we are, here we are,

let's see, banana cream pie,

strawberry shortcake, pineapple sundae,

and a seven-layered chocolate cake?

- No, thank you.

- Daddy, can we take a little hike?

- Yeah, Dad, I'd like to see the lake.

- Oh no, no, let's don't leave here

and take a chance on missing that truck.

- Well it's not gonna behere for several hours.

Right, Dad?

- But it might get here sooner

and maybe we could stillget to Lemon Falls.

- Yeah, we'd better not take a chance on missing it.

- But what are we gonnado all those hours?

- Read "Carburetor" magazines?

(audience laughs)

- Why don't we just lie back

and enjoy the beauties of nature?

No one really gets a chance to do that anymore.

- Well gosh, what are we gonna do?

- I thought you were going to study.

- I don't wanna study,I wish I'd stayed home.

- Oh, let's not let our spirits droop,

after all, we're together, that's the important thing.

And we're well, and have a beautiful blue sky above us,

and the world at our feet.

(kids giggle)

- That's true.

- Maybe we can play a game,

you ever play "Run Sheep Run"?

- Yeah! - Oh sure.

- Yeah, you and I, Dad,we'll start the trail.

- Oh no, no, no!

I don't want you sheep straying all over the hills.

- We'd better play a more confined game.

Oh I remember one called "Famous Dates."

- Marilyn Monroe!

(audience laughs)

- Yeah!

No, no, not that kind of a date.

You think up an historical event,

and it doesn't have to be a date,

and you act it out and we guess what it is.

- Oh, "Charades."

- No exactly, you don't fool around

with the signals and syllables.

You just act out the scene.

Like, um, George Washington chopping down the cherry tree.

(grunts)

- Oh I've got one!

- But you can't use that one!

- Oh, well then I'm not ready.

(audience laughs)

- You got her.

- Mom, have you got one?

- No, you go ahead with your game,

I'm just gonna finish picking up.

- Oh I'll help clean up.

You kids start to thinkup some good ones.

Would you wanna play the game, honey?

It's silly but it's kinda fun.

- You know, you seem to be having

an awfully good time today.

I've rarely seen you so jolly.

- (Chuckles)

I'm just trying to keepeveryone's spirits up,

make the beset of things.

Rather have me mope around and wail at our bad luck?

- No, of course not.

- [Bud] Hurry up, Dad, we're ready!

- Okay, let her go, Sarah Bernhardt!

Let's see, now.

- [Bud] Cold water, cold water,

cold water that's in--

- Paddling a boat, paddling, paddling!

No, she's--

- Mighty Joe Young?

In the end, isn't there, rowing?

- Oh, Tippy Canoe and Tyler Too!

(audience laughs)

No, oh.

- [Bud] Climbing a ladder.

- Yeah, up.

- How can climb in a canoe?

- "Jack and the Beanstalk"!

(audience laughs)

- [Jim] Climbing.

- [Bud] Climbing Indians.

- No, she's going up over the falls,

she's going up to spawn.

- She's climbing, climbing an old--

She's a salmon!

A salmon throwing,

throwing.

- She's throwing something overboard.

- Throwing big, and it'sgotta be big, anyway.

- She's throwing boxes of canned salmon.

(audience laughs)

- You dummies, it's tea,throwing tea overboard,

the Boston Tea Party!

(audience laughs)

(men aww)

- Well what's that gotta do with salmon?

(audience laughs)

- Oh it's my turn now, I got a good one too.

- [Jim] All right, here goes the genius.

- [Betty] Now what's he doing?

- [Kathy] Losing his mind!

(audience laughs)

- Wait, wait, somethingflying, flying,

clouds, birds, birds, airplanes, Wright Brothers!

(audience laughs)

(choked yell)

(audience laughs)

- Oh, I know, I know, Benjamin Franklin,

electricity, flying the kite.

- Yes!

(audience laughs)

- Good Girl, Betty,that's fine, wonderful!

- [Kathy] But I can't think of anything.

- [Bud] Use your imagination.

- [Betty] You'll think of something.

(kids' chatter fades )

- Honey I hate to see you sitting here all by yourself!

- Jim, something has occurred to me,

when you called Lemon Falls,

why couldn't you have called a garage there

and had them send out a repair truck direct?

- Oh, no!

- Instead of all this waiting

and shuffling back and forth.

- Oh, you're right, I could have.

That would have saved us hours.

- And we could have made it to Esther's.

- I sure didn't have my head working.

- Which is strange, because you've been so resourceful

about everything else today.

Well the paper cups, and making forks,

and entertaining the children.

- I just wasn't thinking that's all.

- Jim, could it be that perhaps

you weren't thinking on purpose?

- What do you mean by that?

- Oh I know you don't like going

to these gatherings of my relatives.

- Well that's not true!

- But it's only once a year.

- I enjoy going to them!

- Not as much as you'veenjoyed all this today.

- I, honey, I'll admitthat I've enjoyed this.

Maybe more than the reunion.

But believe me, Ididn't plan it this way,

it just happened, and I felt as long as it did happen,

we might as well try toget some fun out of it.

As long as we're all together.

I realize now it didn't have to happen.

If I'd just used my head.

I'm sorry, really, I--

- Come on, Father, we need you, the game's dying.

Come on, Mother!

- You go along, I'll join you in a little while.

- Okay, Kathy needs you to help her

think of an historical event.

What's a matter, Father?

You don't seem so jolly anymore.

- Well...

- Anything wrongbetween you and Mother?

Is she still unhappy about missing the reunion?

- Yes, and I don't blame her.

Especially now that I realize

I could've gotten us there if I'd been on the ball.

It's all my fault.

- But you couldn't help what happened.

- No, but I could've remedied it a lot faster.

- Oh.

- You know, I don't think we realize

how much these annual family get-togethers

mean to your mother.

I know that someday,all of us will scatter,

and there'll be nothingI look forward to more

than a few brief occasions when we can get together.

Yeah, I really ruined this day for your mother.

And the worst part of it is,

there's nothing I can do to change it now.

- Well I guess we have been a little rough on Mother,

but, well, actually we were only kidding!

- Wait, maybe there's still a chance!

(upbeat music)

- What's the matter, having car trouble?

- Yes we are, I'm sorry to bother you.

- Oh I'm afraid I'mnot much of a mechanic.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, well, help is on the way.

I was wondering, are you by anychance going to Lemon Falls?

- No, I'm not, but I go through there,

can I give you a lift?

- Not me, my family.

You don't know howmuch I'd appreciate it.

You see, we were going to a family reunion

when our car--

- Family reunion?

Well of course, anythingas important as that.

Have them get right in.

- Thank you so much.

Margaret, honey, come on!

Hurry up, kids!

- What is it, Dad?

- What do you want, Father?

- What do you want?

- Well this wonderful lady, oh,

I didn't get your name!

- Mrs. Levear.

- Mrs. Levear is gonnatake you to Lemon Falls.

Come on everybody, get in.

- Aren't we supposed to wait here?

- But, but what about you?

- I'll wait for the truck.

- Oh but Jim!

- I'll come on to Lemon Falls and pick you up this evening!

- I better stay and keep Daddy company.

- Oh no, I'd better stay, I can help dad

put in the fuel pump.

- No, I want all of you to go, this is important.

Okay, come on, pile in, let's go.

- Come on then, let's get in the car.

- Hurry up.

- Everybody in, there we go, finally gonna get to.

- Thatta girl.

- Oh and the box of clothing, Jim, and the lamp!

- I'll bring it all, we mustn't hold up Mrs. Lavear.

Have a good time!

Thank you so much Mrs. Lavear,

see you all later!

(audience laughs)

Goodbye, goodbye dear.

Yeah, we will.

(peaceful music)

- So you're going to a family reunion.

That sounds just wonderful.

I certainly do envy you.

(relaxed music)

(leaf falls with a note)

(leaves fall with a note)

(leaves fall with music)

(audience laughs)

(all laugh)

- Well where did you come from?

What happened?

- We just got on the way, when mother said,

stop the car!

It was very dramatic!

- But why?

- Well, I got to thinking about that lake up there.

And I decided I wanted to see it.

Come on boy, on your feet.

(family chatters happily)

- I just don't understand!

Okay, the truth now.

Why did you come back, Mrs. Lavear throw you out?

(audience laughs)

- No, I just realized that there's no point

in going to a family reunion

if we have to break upour own family to do it.

- But I wanted you to go, Iknow how much this means to you.

- But you mean much more to me,

and all the time you were trying to be so cheerful

and to make the best of things

while I was making things worse for you.

I should've joined in and...

Will you take me back into the family?

- Take you back?

That's not the question.

Will you take me back?

(old-fashioned car horn honks)

- For goodness sakes, look!

(audience laughs)

- It's Ed, he's early!

- Hey kids, come on back!

- Come on!

- How'd you get here so fast, Ed?

- Well, Sir, Norm got back quicker than I expected.

(chuckles)

He found we had the right pump in stock after all.

I wasn't gonna leave you stranded out here,

not a friend of ol Harv!

- Oh, Harv McElroy?

- You know him?

- Well of course, he's Esther's neighbor,

but I didn't know you knew him.

- Oh sure, used to own the drugstore.

Then he got to chasing around with that red-haired woman.

See, I know more about Lemon Falls than you think I do.

(audience laughs)

Now will you take me back?

- Okay, but don't let me catch you

picking up any habitsfrom your old par Harv.

(audience laughs and applauds)

(tender sweeping music)

(upbeat orchestral music)