06x13 - Betty's Double

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic music)

- [Narrator] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

(vacuum whirring) (door bell rings)

(soft cheery music)

- [Margret] Mildred!

- Hello Margaret, hope I'm not too early

to pay a quick social call.

- Oh come in, this is a surprise.

- You have no idea what a real surprise I have for you.

- Well come in, sit down.

Excuse the state of the room.

- Eh, Betty here?

- No she just left for school.

- Too bad, I'd like tosee the look on her face

when she hears the news.

- Well, Mildred Parker, what are you talking about?

- Remember that Hollywood star contest

we sent Betty's picture into?

- The Donna Stuart twin contest?

Oh, I certainly do.

You know, I always felt just a bit guilty

that I even considered letting Betty be a contestant.

Mildred, is that why youcame here this morning?

Something about that contest?

- I would say that you now have

a celebrity in the family, Margaret.

- What?

Dear Mrs. Parker, Hollywood Photo Screen Magazine

is happy to announce that the picture of Miss Betty Anderson

submitted by the Women'sClub of Springfield

has won the Donna Stuart twin contest.

Oh!

Oh, no.

- Well, you don't seem very pleased, what's wrong?

(gasps)

- Well, for one thing, I never told Jim anything about it

nor anyone, well, not even Betty.

Oh, it seemed harmless enough at the time.

Everyone was making such a fuss about

Betty's resemblance to a movie star.

Well, actually I never dreamed that she had a chance to win.

- Personally, I'm not a bit surprised that she won.

Just look at thispicture of Donna Stuart.

- Oh, I know, theresemblance is amazing.

- In fact, if I didn't know Betty as well as I do

I'd think she was leading a double life.

(audience laughing)

And just wait 'til Betty hears

that she's won a trip to Hollywood.

- Yes, just wait 'til her father hears

she's won a trip to Hollywood.

(dramatic tune)

- I don't care of Bettywill be heartbroken.

She's not going off to Hollywood

on a wild goose chase like that.

- This isn't a wild goose chase, it's a contest

that Betty won fairly and squarely.

- Contest, by what stretch of the imagination

can you call this a contest?

A contest is when you have certain abilities to

offer as a challenge to an opponent.

All Betty had to do with this contest was to be born.

She didn't have anythingto do with that.

That was our idea.

- Alright, Jim.

Certainly, it isn't worth an argument between you and me.

But, you tell Betty your decision.

I haven't the heart.

In the meanwhile I'll phone Mildred Parker

and let her know.

- What did Mildred have to do with this?

- Well, she's presidentof the Women's Club.

After all, they're sponsoring this wild goose chase.

- The Women's Club?

- That's right.

- Do you mind telling me what thick-headed

unintelligent, bean-brained member

of a respectable organization like the Women's Club

went so far as to send in a picture of my daughter

without my consent?

- Not at all.

I did.

(audience laughing)

- Margaret.

- It seemed so unimportant that I didn't even

mention it to you.

- But-- - But, Jim, it's done.

And Betty has won.

- What about her school?

- It's on a weekend.

She'd only miss one day.

- Well, I--

I suppose she's gonnatraipse off to Hollywood

all by herself.

- No, I definitely think that someone should go with her.

- Who?

- That unintelligent, thick-headed, bean-brained--

- Okay, okay, I can't fight Betty, the Women's Club

and my wife.

(audience laughing)

Where is our celebrity?

- In her room waiting for the verdict.

(lively music)

- [Betty] And mother will get to see Hollywood, too.

- Well, princess, uh, just one thing.

Why does winning this contest mean so much to you?

- Because, for a change, I'll--

(scoffs) well, I'll be something other than

plain old BettyAnderson of Springfield.

- Well, I'm rather fond of plain old Betty Anderson

of Springfield.

- I know.

Oh, but you know, father

a chance like this doesn't happen to everybody.

Just think, for two whole days I'll be

well, sort of important,a little bit famous.

I'll be--

uh, my name in a pictureand a movie magazine.

I'll get a chance to meet some stars.

I'll be a guest at one of the exclusive night clubs.

Well, everybody likes to feel important once in a while.

- Well, princess, uh...

if you'd won a contest because you did something

that required skill and talent

I'd agree with you.

You'd have a right to a certain amount of acclaim.

But, um...

what I'm trying to explain to you is that, uh...

just the mere fact thatyou look like somebody--

somebody famous

doesn't make you famous.

Nor important.

- [Betty] I think you'remissing the whole point, father.

- Maybe, but I'mthinking of a few angles

that you haven't thought of.

Mostly that I don't think you'd really enjoy being

an imitation of something.

- Do we have to analyze this?

It just sounds like fun, that's all.

Something different.

Well, something to put in my scrapbook

and show my grandchildren one day.

Please?

- Well...

if, as you say, it's just for fun.

Just, uh, for a page

in the, uh, scrapbook of memories (chuckles)

and if you promise to keep it that way--

- I promise.

- (sighs) Then start packing.

(cheery music) - Oh, father!

Oh, thank you for beingso wonderful (giggles).

- I'm not wonderful, just out-numbered.

- Ah, mother!

(dramatic music)

(woman speaking over PA)

- Now.

(camera clicks)- Oh!

- Welcome to Hollywood,Miss Anderson.

- Thank you.

- I'm Bert Layne, publicity. - How do you do?

- You must be the young lay's mother.

- This is my mother, Mrs. Anderson.

- I knew you were.

You're as pretty as she is.

Prettier.

Alright, catch one, Jerry.

Wave hello to somebody, folks.

Anybody.

(laughs) Me, if you like.

- Oh.- Ah, that's it.

Snap it, Jerry.

Baggage.

That's one for your scrapbook.

Ted, bring the car around.

We'll take you at the Beverley Hills hotel.

- Oh! - Then we get off

at the studio and meet Ms. Stuart.

She's making a new picture over there right now.

She just started two days ago.

- Hey, hey, Ms. Stuart,how about an autograph?

- Yeah, me too.

- Hey, Ted, keep your eye on the luggage, will you?

Okay, kids, b*at it.

Don't bother the lady.

You know, if you play your cards right

you can get Kim Novak.

She's due in any minute.

- I'd rather haveKim's autograph anyway.

- Stuck up.

(indistinct chatter)

- Oh, these kids (laughs).

Bless them.

Hey, you know something.

You do look like Donna Stuart.

In fact, if I didn't knowDonna was back on stage herself

and sh**ting a picture, you'd even have me fooled.

(cheery music)

- I'm sorry, Bill.

Awfully sorry.

- [Bill] Will you kiss me goodbye?

- [Director] Oh, cut it, boys, cut it.

- [Man] Alright, kids.

Fix them up, you'll go right away again.

(indistinct chatter)

- [Director] Alright, kids, we'll have to do it again.

- [Bill] It's all right with me.

(indistinct chatter)

- [Director] Another take, right away.

- [Man] Pull it down a little more.

Ready?

Alright, kids, this is gonna take just a little second.

- [Man] Okay?

- [Man] Come on, put it this way up.

Yep.

- [Bill] Is that alright, Ms. Stuart?

- [Donna] Oh, yes, wonderful.

- The young fellow's Bill Joyce.

A new actor, the studio just signed up.

- Wow.

(audience laughing)

- That's okay, Mrs. Anderson.

Every wow like that spells box office.

(indistinct chatter)

- Yes, thank you very much.

(bell rings)- Alright, let's have it

quiet, please.

Quiet down now.

- Alright, roll.(soft beep)

- [Man] And speed. (clapperboard clacks)

- [Director] Action.

- (sighs) Will you kiss me goodbye?

(audience laughing)

I wish you'd change your mind.

Marry me?

I love you very much.

- I don't know what to say, darling.

- I'd know what to say.

(audience laughing) (soft music)

- Hey, I'll tell her, honey.

(muttering)

- Do you go to college, Betty?

- Yes, I'm a junior.

- Where? - At Springfield College.

I suppose you never heard of it.

- Well, sure I know Springfield.

I spent two days there once

with the Summer Star company.

- Funny, I see every play or road show

that comes to town.

I would've remembered you.

- Well, I've changed since then.

I was three at the time.

- No wonder.

- Oh, Betty, before I forget.

Right after lunchpublicity wants to sh**t

some stills of you.

Then I'll take you up to wardrobe

and they'll fix you up with some glamour clothes

for your TV debut tonight.

- (gasps) Thank you, Mr. Layne.

- If you're gonna be a star's double

you might just as well dress the part, too.

You gonna be able to make it to the club tonight, Bill?

- Well, if I can get a date.

May I have the honor of your comp--

- You bet you can.

(audience laughing)

- [Bill] I've got a date, Bert.

- Good, see you kids tonight.

Oh, Jane.

- I'm afraid Springfield's gonna be

pretty dull for Betty after all this, Ms. Stuart.

- From what you've told meabout your family, Mrs. Anderson

it sounds anything but dull.

- We do have lots of fun.

I only wish that you could meet the rest of my brood.

- Oh, why can't I?

There's always the telephone.

You think they'll be home now?

- Well, if I didn't try and find out

they'd never forgive me.

(laughing)

- Hello, this is Ms. Stuart.

I'd like to place a long-distance call please.

(cheery music) (audience laughing)

- I don't know if we should eat this meat

or save it for a museum.

- I thought that's where you bought it.

(audience laughing) (telephone ringing)

Ooh.

Hello.

Hollywood?

It's your mother.

Margaret!

Say, it's good to hear your voice.

- Hi, mommy! - When you coming home, Mom?

- How's Betty?

- Oh, she's fine, dear

and you can talk to her in a minute.

But first, Ms. Stuart

wants to say hello to you.

- Ms. Stuart wants to say hello to you.

- She does? - Oh, boy!

- Ms. Stuart, um, I'll put Kathy on first.

How is my daughter getting along in Hollywood?

Oh, she's putting Betty on.

Hi, princess. - Hi, Betty.

- How's Hollywood treating you?

- I'm having a ball, father.

Everywhere I go people stop me, talk to me.

Honestly, they think I'mthe real Donna Stuart.

And tonight I'm gonna be interviewed on television

at a famous night club.

Just like a real celebrity.

- Well, I'm glad you'rehaving a good time.

It makes me happy.

And we'll be watching you.

Oh, honey, put your mother back on, will you?

Margaret.

When are you coming home, we're running out of dishes.

(audience laughing)

Good, we miss you.

Goodbye, dear.

(soft cheery music)

- [Bill] Right in here.

(Bert laughs)

- Why don't you go righton in to our table.

I'm gonna find the manager and tell him

that Donna won't make it for the television interview.

- May I take your wrap?

- Oh, thank you, Bill.

- Oh, not mine, I'll probably never get

this custom mink again.

- I probably won't either (laughs).

- Hey, aren't you somebody important?

- Well-- - Uh, just sign here.

- Oh, Donna Stuart!

Thank you.

- That's all right, my dear.

- Betty Anderson.

Why, I'm amazed.

- Now, mother, you knowif I put Betty Anderson

in that book she'dhave been disappointed.

(soft romantic music)

- That's a movie star, a movie star.

Honey, wouldn't it be wonderfulif your folks back home

could see us now?

Rubbing shoulders with the big movie stars

isn't that something?

(applause)

- Ladies and gentlemen

we have a surprise for you tonight.

We have with us the very talented and lovely movie star

Ms. Donna Stuart.

(drum roll)

- I thought Donna couldn't come tonight.

- Apparently the head news hasn't reached him, he means you.

(applause)

- Oh, wait 'til I tell everybodyin Springfield about this.

- Get a load of that, she's trying to pass herself off

as Donna Stuart.

Goodness, she's a phony.

She's a phony, didn't you hear them?

- What do I do now?

- If you can't sing you'd better sit down.

- Sing a song, Ms. Stuart.

Ms. Stuart, please sing us the song

you did in your last picture, that was a nice song.

- Buddy, knock it off, huh?

- Mr. Layne, what's going on?

- I don't know, I guessI'd better find out.

- Who are you, Sinatra?

Ha, Sinatra, yeah, Sinatra.

(mumbling) She's a phony.

- Please, go away.

- She's a guest, you know, shut up.

- I'm a tax payer, you know, I'm a--

I came here to see celebrities.

I didn't come here to get pushed around.

- It's alright, folks, it's alright.

Just a little publicitystunt, that's all.

(loud chatter)

- Betty.

Betty.

Excuse me.

Betty Anderson, where are you going?

- I wanna go home.

I never wanna see Hollywood again.

- Don't blame Hollywood, Betty.

You brought this on yourself.

- I didn't mean any harm.

- I know, honey.

Let's get back to the table.

Mr. Layne says you're going on the air in minutes.

- Do you think I can face all those people

after what happened?

- I most certainly do.

And for a very good reason.

You can't let Mr. Layne down.

- Everything's all right now, Betty.

I'm sorry it happened.

He's just one of those crackpots

that gives Hollywood a bad name every once in a while.

Shall we go back in?

- Betty, I've been looking all over for you.

There's a long-distancetelephone call for you.

- Couldn't be for me.

It's probably for Ms. Stuart.

- Well, if it is, Springfield's calling.

- We'll wait for you at the table, Betty.

- Show her where they hide the telephone, Bill.

- [Bill] Come on, Betty.

- [Bert] And don't forget, Betty.

You've only got minutes.

- Now, don't worry about the time, I'll let you know.

- Princess.

I tried to call you at your hotel, but I just missed you.

(chuckles) I didn't wantyou to go on the air

without wishing you luck.

Betty, are you there?

- (Betty over the phone)Yeah, I'm here, father.

(chuckles)

I'm not gonna be on television tonight, after all.

The show's been canceled.

I don't know why.

So there's, there's no use watching.

- It's what?

Why?

(sobbing)

- It isn't true.

I'm not going on becauseI'm too embarrassed.

- What's the matter, honey?

(Betty sobbing over the phone)

What is it?

- I made a real spectacle of myself tonight.

I ruined everything.

I did everything I promised you I wouldn't do.

I'm nothing but a great, big phony.

(sobbing)

- Princess, listen to me.

- Believe me, I don't want any of these memories

in a scrapbook.

- I don't know what happened.

But I do know this.

I love you just the way you are.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

I don't want you like anybody else.

You see, to people who matter the--

your family, your friends...

you are a celebrity.

(chuckles) And that's apretty large fan club.

So you...

you hold up that chin of yours.

And you go on the show tonight.

Because, princess...

you're a long way off.

And I miss you.

And I want to see you.

- But what'll I say?

And do?

- All you have to do is...

be yourself.

Just plain old BettyAnderson of Springfield.

Alright, honey.

I'll be watching.

Goodbye, dear.

(sighs)

(hangs up phone) (soft somber music)

- [Mr. Stout] Thank youvery much, thanks again.

I'm sure everyonejoins me in wishing you

the best of luck with your new show.

Thank you.

(applause)

- You're on next, Betty.

- Alright.

- And at this table, ladies and gentlemen

we have the lovely younglady who is the winner

of the Donna Stuart twin contest

Miss Betty Anderson of Springfield.

(applause)

Are you having a good time, Betty?

- I surely am, Mr. Stout.

- You know, I'll bet a lot of folks would like to know

how it feels to suddenly become a celebrity over night.

- Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Stout (chuckles)

I don't think anyone becomes a celebrity over night.

I'll admit I was sort of carried away with all the

excitement and the attention.

For a while I thought I was...

pretty important.

People were asking me for my autograph

and they were staring at me.

But it wasn't because ofanything I'd achieved.

(somber music)

It (chuckles) was because I happen

to look like someone who'd

spent years of hard work becoming a real celebrity.

That, of course, is Ms. Donna Stuart.

Someone very dear to me once said

that it's always better to be yourself

rather than an imitation.

I know now he was right.

- Betty, I know Donna Stuart, as well as her fans

will be proud to know she has such a lovely representative.

Thank you very much.

- Mr. Stout.

May I say good night to my fan club?

- Well, it's against broadcast regulations, but

I think tonight wecould make an exception.

- Good night, father.

- Good night, princess.

- Good night, Bud.

- Good night.

(audience laughing)

- And good night, Kathy.

- Night, Betty.

(audience laughing)

- Thank you, Betty.

And I'll say good night, too.

This is Bill Stout signing off from Hollywood

reminding you to tune in again at the same time next week.

- Well, as long as we're

stuck with old Betty

I guess we could do worse.

(audience laughing)

(applause)(dramatic tune)

(soft lively music)