06x25 - Adopted Daughter (Flashback)

[bunniefuu]

- [Narrator] Here are Robert Young and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

- Mommy, do we have any glue for this frame that I,

oh, brother, I'm glad that you're home.

Would you glue this frame back together for me?

- I, well maybe if you'll fix me a sandwich.

- It's a deal.

- What do you want thisold thing fixed up for?

Well this is the goofiest idea you ever had.

Framing your birth certificate?

- It was not goofy.

That was a present fromDaddy a long time ago.

- Five years to be exact.

- And a very memorable present, too,

wasn't it Mommy?

- It certainly was.

If we hadn't lost the original birth certificate,

you would have been spared the most

miserable week of your life.

- You're not kidding.

I really suffered through that.

- What sufferingdid you ever do?

- Don't you remember that time I thought

for sure I was adopted?

- Adopted?

Where'd you ever get a squirrely idea like that?

- That darn Pattie Davis.

When she found out thatAlisha May was adopted,

she told me, "For all I know, I might be adopted, too."

So I could have been left on the doorstep

in a basket.

- And you believed her?

- No, not until she'd asked me

if I'd ever seen my birth certificate

and I hadn't.

So I rushed home andstarted looking for it.

- Oh, how well I remember that day.

I found you up in our bedroom

with everything from the bureau's drawers

all over the floor.

Oh Kathy, Kathy, Kathy,

what am I going to do with you?

You're not supposed to come in our bedroom

and rummage through everything.

My life would be so much simpler

if I didn't haveto wander around

picking up the messes you make.

The way you act sometimes I wonder

if you're my own daughter.

What are you doing anyway?

- I, I'm looking for my birth certificate.

- Why?

Do you need it for school or something?

- No, I just wanna see it.

- Well, I don't know where yours is.

Bud's and Betty's are there

but I'm afraid yours is lost.

- Mine is lost?

Are you sure?

- Well you don't have tolook so tragic about it.

We can get another one.

Come on, let's put this stuff back.

- Where was it before it got lost?

- Probably in your baby book.

That's where the others are, I think.

Yep, here's Bud.

And here's Betty's.

- Do those books tell you when you were born

and where and all that?

- Yeah, date, weight, length,

footprints, first words, oh,

I see Betty's first word was Mama

and Bud's was, (giggling) you might have guessed it.

Eat.

(audience laughing)

- Is this my book?

- Mm-Hmm.

Come on now, help me put the things back.

Don't drag out more stuff.

- Hey, mine's empty.

Nothing in it.

- Oh, I know it.

I guess I was just sobusy when you came along

that I didn't have a chance to fill it in.

I should have done it.

Come on now, help me.

- Mommy, was I adopted?

- Now what kind of a question is that?

- Well was I?

- Kathy, you're just stalling around

trying to get out of work and you know it.

Now stop asking ridiculous questions

and get busy.

(phone ringing)

See, you could have all this done

by the time I get back.

(somber music)

- Empty.

Not even a little cheap name.

- Why didn't you just come right out

and tell her she wasn't adopted, Mom?

- Well I had no idea shewas serious about it.

Had I only known.

- Well at that point I probably wouldn't

have believed you anyway.

And then when Daddy toldme that silly story.

- What story?

- Oh, I tried to pin him down

about where I was born and he made up

a ridiculous story about it.

I remember I was lyingon the living room floor

when he came home that evening.

- Well this must be somestrange little girl.

I wonder who she belongs to.

- I belong to you.

Don't I?

- Of course, I recognize you now.

For a minute I thought you were Elsie Wookleboghan

but I was wrong.

You're Barney Smith.

(audience laughing)

- Daddy?

Have you ever seen my birth certificate?

- Oh, it's around someplace.

Ask your mother.

- Daddy, tell me about when I was born.

- Some other time, kid.

- I wanna know now.

- Oh, I wanna read my paper, honey.

- Tell me about it, Daddy.

Did I get here any different

than Betty and Bud?

- Any different?

- Yeah.

Like was I born in a hospital

or was it different with me?

You know, kinda strange?

Odd?

- Strange?

Kathy, the story about you is so strange

that we've never dared tell it to anyone

and you must never repeat this.

Now, for several years we were getting

a half a pint of creamand three quarts of milk

from the milk man every other day.

But we kept running out of milk.

So one day I made a brilliant suggestion.

I said, "Why don't we have him bring us more milk?"

Well your mother saw the wisdom of this

so she wrote a little note to the milkman

and left it out in an empty bottle

and the note said,

"Please leave us one half pint cream

"and a gallon of milk."

But it rained that night and washed some

of the words off the note.

And when the milkman read it all the note said was,

"Please leave us one half pint gal."

He left us a little half pint gal.

(audience laughing)

We named her Kathy and sometimes we lived

happily ever after.

(audience laughing)

No good?

- I understand.

- Hi shrimpo.

Dad!

I'm gonna save you buckets of money, buckets.

- Good.

How much is it gonna cost me?

(audience laughing)

- Well that's a fine way to look

at a chance to save money.

Now you're planning tohave the bedroom floors

refinished right?

Right.

And that could run intoheavy lettuce, right?

Right.

- Wait a minute, let me answer some of these questions.

- Well it's right isn't it?

- Right.

- Well, okay.

- I fell better now.

- I know where you canrent an electric sander

for only three bucks a day and after you get

the floor sanded, it's a cinch to put on

the wood filler and varnish.

Not just throwing moneyaway hiring strangers

to do all that work.

- Well that sounds like a very good idea.

- Yeah, I might do that.

- And look at the money you'll save

with you and mom doingall the work yourselves.

(audience laughing)

- With who doing all the work?

I thought you were in on this deal?

- I am.

I'm gonna rent you the sander.

(audience laughing)

- Huh?

- Well I just, me and Claude are.

You see, it belongs to Claude's uncle.

- Look, Jesse James, bring the sander around yes.

But come prepared to work with your sleeves rolled up,

is that clear?

- Well do I still get the rental money?

- Yes.

- Plus a dollar an hour for my labor?

- No.

(audience laughing)

- All right, I was just trying.

Can't blame a fella for that.

Anything good for dinner?

- Well if there isdon't start sampling it

into oblivion.

- What a promoter.

- Don't discourage him.

I want those floors done very badly.

- Hello, it's just me.

Or I.

Is dinner ready?

- It will be as soon asyou help me put it on.

And tell Kathy to clean up whatever mess

she's been upstairs and come on down.

That Kathy's gotten tobe a real trial lately.

I spent my whole day picking up after her.

- It's actually the truth.

She'd stare in the mirror

and then she'd walk up and down the room saying,

"Who am I, who am I?"

I tell you that kid's gotta go.

Well whoever she is I wish she'd hurry.

Kathy?

- Yes ma'am.

I'm coming.

(audience laughing)

Is it all right?

- Is what all right?

- I mean, to eatwith the family?

I can wait untilafterwards if you wish.

Or eat in the kitchen.

- Kathy, stop acting and please sit down.

- Yeah, sit down squirt, I'm hungry.

- Thank you.

It's very nice of you to ask me.

- Just who are you supposed to be?

Little Orphan Annie?

(audience laughing)

- Shall I put your food on a plate Annie

or just throw you a crust of bread to nibble on?

- Just make mine smallportions, Mr. Anderson.

- All right, I'll just.

Mr. Anderson?

Are you enjoying your stay here, madam?

How soon do you expect to leave?

- Oh, I don't wanna leave.

I wanna stay.

You're such a nice family to live with.

- All right, SarahBenhart, that's enough.

I don't know what role you're playing

but don't push it too far.

Remember, you're already on thin ice

as far as I'm concerned.

- Yeah, cut out hamming it up shrimp

and let's eat.

I'm starved.

- I'm sorry if I have desert anyone.

- Oh you're just saying that.

You're not really adopted.

- Shh, don't you tell that to anyone.

- You're just saying that 'cause I told you

about Alicia May yesterday.

- I wish I was just saying it.

I keep saying it's not true

but the facts are there.

No birth certificate,nothing in my baby book.

- Did you come rightout and ask your mother

if you were adopted?

- But she wouldn't give me an answer.

So I must be.

- Yeah, that proves it.

- I asked my daddy to tell me about when I was born

and he just made up a long corny story.

Didn't wanna hurt my feelings

by telling me the truth.

- How does it feel to be, you know?

- I don't know yet.

I'm still new at it.

- How come they adopted a child

when they already had two kids?

- I don't know.

But that shows you whatshaky ground I'm on.

If they ever start cutting down,

you know who'll be the first to go.

(audience laughing)

My only chance is to work hard

helping around the house.

So hard they can't afford to let me go.

And I better get home and start doing it.

I'm in the dog house as it is.

And don't you dare breathe this to a single soul.

See?

(audience laughing)

And don't write it either!

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

Pay to the order of

The Children's Home Society.

$ ?

Is that all I cost?

- Kathy, Kathy, Kathy!

What am I going to do with you?

- I'll clean it up.

I'll prove I'm worth every cent of it, honest.

- No, you've had your last chance.

Just leave everything the way it is

so your father can see it when he comes home.

- Oh no!

- And in the meantime, Iwant you to go upstairs

and stay in your room until we decide

what to do with you.

- Here it comes, (mumbling).

- You should have been flattered at that $ .

Oh, I would have paid you out around . .

- That check really hurtbut the clutcher came

when you and Daddy came up to my room

with that old floor sander.

- Oh yeah.

You weren't gonna let us touch a thing in your room.

- Well I thought you were gonna move me out for good.

I remember just before you came in

I was talking to Patty through the window

and expecting the worstto happen at any minute.

I better not talk anymore Patty.

They'll think I'm trying to sneak out or something.

I tell you, it's getting worse now.

I knew this set up was too good to last.

- How long you gotta stay in there?

- I gotta stay here 'till Daddy,

or, Mr. Anderson gets home and they decide

what they're gonna do with me.

- You mean if they're gonna keep you or not?

- I don't know whatelse they got to decide.

Gosh, you think they'd realize

what a bargain Iwas at only $ .

- That all you cost?

- Got the check right here.

Didn't even pay cash.

- Gee, I cost more than that

and they didn't even have to buy me.

Daddy said the hospitaland the doctors

plus losing a half a day's work

plus a box of cheap cigars come to over $ .

- Well, there you are.

- Boy, it must be tough.

- Sure is.

I know now what poor Alicia May has to put up with.

I wish I could talk to her.

Maybe I would get some pointers

on how to act and how to,

uh-oh, here they come.

Bye.

- Don't wreck that thing before

we have a chance to use it.

- What's that?

- It's an ancient t*rture instrument

used by King Eggbert The Terrible

so you'd better get out of here squirt.

- It's a sanding machine.

Kathy, sit down here a minute.

I wanna have a talk with you.

- Hey, what are you doing?

- I'm the man from the finance company.

- What is he doing?

- Don't look so worried.

He won't harm them.

We're just moving youout of here temporarily.

- Moving me out?

No!

- Don't be so dramatic, Camille.

We can't very well sand your floor

and varnish it with you and your furniture in here.

- I don't care.

You're not gonna put me out.

- We're not putting you out.

It's just gonna be for a day or two.

We'll fix your bed in Betty's room

and as soon as your floor's finished

you'll be right back in here.

- I know that's not true.

You're just telling me that.

But once I'm outI'll never, hey!

- Ouch, shrimp, I can't lift this thing

with you hanging on, let go.

- I don't care, you're not gonna

take it out of here.

Daddy, don't let him!

- Kathy, what's gotten into you?

What are you trying to do,

upset this whole household?

You have your mother half crazy and I confess,

I don't know what in the world--

- But Daddy!

Don't let him take my things.

- Don't you understand?

We have to do this.

- No you don't have to.

- I think you better go downstairs

and clean up that mess you made in the den.

- But Daddy!

- Run along and when you're finished

I wanna have a talk with you, understand?

- Yes, Daddy.

(lively music)

- Boy, that Kathy gets weirder every day.

Dad, is losing your mind contagious?

(audience laughing)

- Around here it is.

(audience laughing)

- They can't kick me around like this.

Just 'cause I'm an orphan.

I don't care if they do throw me out.

I wish they would.

I don't like this dumb old house anyways.

And that dumb old Bud thinks he's so smart.

They'll find out when I'm gone

they can't get another bargain like me.

Serve them right.

I oughta leave right now.

Get Alicia May andwe'll go away together.

Show 'em.

- What are you mutteringabout Mr. Scrooge?

(audience laughing)

My what a pretty face.

- You'll be sorry.

- About what?

- You'll see.

- Oh, all right, fine.

In the meantime you better come to dinner.

(audience laughing)

Father, Bud, dinner's ready.

(sanding machine running)

Father, Bud, come to dinner!

(somber music)

- Bye Andersons.

It was all very--

(sanding machine running)

- Hurry up Orphan Annie.

We'll let you eat dinnerwith us again tonight

if you behave yourself.

(somber music)

- Kathy?

Kathy where are you?

Was Kathy upstairs with you?

- She was until we kicked her out.

- She's supposed to be cleaning up the den.

- Well she's not in there now.

Kathy?

Kathy?

Now where do you suppose she's gone?

- Probably outside playing.

- She was told not to go out.

Did you have your little talk with her?

- Well I really didn't have a chance.

- Come on, everything'sgetting cold.

- Oh, Kathy skipped out again.

You better go and find her.

Try Patty's house.

- Oh, that little beast.

- What are we gonna do?

- I don't know but I'm convinced

something's troubling her.

You know that was quite a little show

she put on upstairs.

Acted as if we were putting her out

of her room and she'd never get back in.

Now what would make a little girl

think a thing like that?

- Come on, I just gotta talk to you.

- What is it?

- I'm just like you.

I'm adopted.

- Really?

I didn't know you were.

- It's true.

Oh maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that you are.

Or did you know it?

- Oh yes.

I know.

- I just found out I was.

Look, we'd better hurry.

Do you wanna go with me?

- Go where?

- I don't know.

I was hoping you'd have an idea.

- Why do you wanna go somewhere?

- Well, when they don't want you anymore

I'm thinking that's the time to get out.

Maybe then they'll be sorry.

- Oh, they'll besorry all right.

But you'll be sorry-er.

- Huh?

- You must be out of your mind wanting to leave.

Don't you know about us adopted kids?

- Well, I'm learning.

- Don't you know that we're the luckiest kids a-going?

- We are?

- Sure.

Look, if you went into a candy store to buy

a candy bar and the manjust closed his eyes

and handed you one, you might like it.

And you might not.

But if you had a chance to look them all over first,

why then you're gonnapick the best one there.

And it's the same with us.

- Yeah.

- When you're born into a family they have to love you

whether they do or not because they're stuck with you.

But we were picked.

Special.

- Yeah.

- And when people go to all the trouble to adopt children,

which they don't have to do,

why that must mean they're the nicest people a-going.

And they make the best parents.

So you oughta hang on to yours.

- Oh, boy did I goof.

- Huh?

- I can't go back.

Not now.

- Why not?

- I sneaked out when I wasn't even

asposed to go outdoors.

I was supposed to clean up the den.

And I didn't do it.

Oh, I goofed this up good.

- Look, you've only beengone a little while.

Run home as fast as you can and sneak in.

Maybe you can get the den cleaned up

before they know you've even been gone.

- Oh, they'll know.

- Well try it.

Don't lose thegreatest thing a-going.

Run!

- Okay!

- Adopted?

Where did she get that idea?

- Oh, who knows?

The whole thing is crazy.

Patty says she even has a check showing

how much you paid for her, $ .

- $ ?

- That much?

- Patty says she may have gone over to see Alicia May

to get some pointers because,

hello, Alicia May?

Is Kathy at your house?

- Um, Kathy who?

(audience laughing)

Oh, why no.

She's not here.

- Oh thank you.

Goodbye.

Not there.

- Well where could she have gone?

Would she actually have started walking somewhere?

At night?

- I don't know but we'd better, by George, find out.

All these thingsrunning through her mind

there's no telling what she might,

Betty, you stay on the phone.

Call her girlfriends.

Anyone you can think of.

Come on, Bud, you and I will spread out.

Look everywhere.

She couldn't have gotten very far.

- Fine mother I am.

You know what,yesterday Kathy asked me

if she was adopted.

She came right out and asked me.

- Well didn't you tell her she wasn't?

- I don't quite remember.

But I think I was so busy boiling her out

for hunting for her birth certificate

that I didn't even bother to answer her.

Sometimes we forget thatchildren are people too.

(upbeat music)

- Kathy!

Kitten, honey, what are you doing here?

- I'm waiting for a bus.

(audience laughing)

- A bus?

Where do you think you're going?

- I don't know.

- Oh honey, I know all about this adoption idea.

It's not true.

You're our own little girl and we love you.

- You don't have tokeep the truth from me.

I even found the check.

- What check?

What's this talk about a check?

Children's Home, oh, kitten.

This is a contribution I make every year,

like the Community Chest or Red Cross and all that.

It has nothing to do with you.

Except taking care of the little girls

who don't have homes.

- Well Daddy, ifI'm not adopted,

well I mean, do you loveme just 'cause I'm yours

and you're stuck with me?

(audience laughing)

- Stuck with you?

Certainly not.

- Well, if you went in and looked over

all the candy bars, Imean, all little girls,

would you pick me?

- If all the little girls in the whole world were lined up,

I'd pick you.

(chuckling)

- Daddy?

Will you buy me something?

- Name it, kitten, and it's yours.

- Will you buy me a new birth certificate?

(audience laughing)

- And he kept his word.

Now here, take better care of it.

Don't let it break again.

- Well I won't.

Not ever.

Thanks Bud.

- Thank you.

- It's odd what things become our prized possessions.

- Daddy look it!

- Oh.

- Daddy you broke it!

- Oh, I'm sorry kitten,I didn't see you coming.

(glass shattering)

Uh oh.

The birth certificate.

Wow.

I guess now if all the fathers were lined up

like candy bars,

you'd hardly pick me.

- Yes I would.

Besides, as long as I have this certificate,

I'm stuck with you.

(applauding)

(upbeat music)

(funky tone)