06x31 - Not His Type

[bunniefuu]

(spirited theme music)

- [Narrator] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt,

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

(pleasant music)

- And wouldn't you know it,

I was the first one he called on to recite.

Well, I didn't even know the chemical formula, let alone--

- Excuse me, Diane, butyou're supposed to be--

- Oh, hi, George.

Sit down, sweetie.

So, anyway--

- How are you, Betty? - Fine.

- I got up and stood there like a goon.

- Diane.

- Well, I felt I had to say something.

So, I started to recitethe Gettysburg Address.

Well, everyone screamed.

- Diane.

- But Professor Hart didn't bat an eye.

He just let me goright on and finish it,

and then he stood up and applauded.

And then he gave me a zero. (laughing)

- Look, honey, you're supposed to--

- Oh, honey, that tie.

Stripes with a checkeredjacket, really.

You know, after we're married,

I'll have to have bettercontrol of these things.

What I'll do is I'll have a full inspection

every morning beforehe leaves for the bank.

All right, George, you can put

your eyes back in their sockets now. (audience laughs)

- Look, honey, you're supposed to meet Professor Hopkins--

- (gasps) Oh my goodness, I'm supposed to meet

Professor Hopkins before the Senior Council meeting.

Why didn't you remind me?

Watch my books for me, will you, sweetie?

And you watch George for me.

And, uh, don't let him look at any more beautiful blondes

because I'll be back. (audience laughs)

- That Diane's a kick.

- Yeah.

That's a nice outfit you got on.

- Oh, thank you.

Believe it or not, I made it myself.

- It's a good color for you.

Though I, uh, I think I like the thing

you had on yesterday even better.

- Oh, sure, I'll bet you don't even know what I wore.

- Sure I do, that, uh,

blue-greenish sorta sackcontraption with the little, uh,

I don't know what you call it,

kind of a sleeveless Mackinaw over it.

- What a horrible description, but you're right.

You're certainly observant.

Diane has you well-trained.

Ralph couldn't have told you if I was wearing a gunny sack.

(romantic music)

- You don't go with Ralph anymore, do ya?

- No, hardly ever.

- He oughta have his head examined.

- Betty, could I get you tocome in and peel some potatoes?

- In a minute, Mother,just let me finish this.

- All right, dear.

(light-hearted music)

- You, uh, call for a plumber, ma'am? (audience laughs)

- Oh, George, you surprised me.

Where's Diane?

- Home, I guess.

Oh, I just returned your book.

You left it in the Student Council room this morning.

Thought you might need it. - Oh, thank you.

Oh, this is a reference book, I was through with it.

Thank you for being so thoughtful.

- Betty, could you come in-- - Uh, oh.

- Oh, excuse me.

- Mother, you know George Frazier.

- Oh, of course, how are you, George?

- I'm fine.

- Well, how's Diane?

- Oh, she's okay.

- Well, uh, I have a cake in the oven.

- I'll be right in, Mother.

- Well, I...

I guess I better take this back.

- Well, I'm sorry you made a special trip.

- Oh, that's okay, I neededthe exercise anyway. (chuckles)

Say, while I'm here, is there anything you need done?

Homework, roof repairing? (audience laughs)

Sewers dug, lightning rods adjusted?

- No. (laughing)

(romantic music)

You, uh, you look cute in that getup.

- Oh, you've got to be kidding, I'd frighten dogs.

- No, really, I mean it.

Whatcha working on here?

- Just some history.

And it's all done.

Now, I have to go in and peel some glamorous potatoes.

Thanks again forthinking about the book.

- Well, maybe next timeI'll have sense enough

to bring you one you can use. (laughs)

- Yeah, uh-huh.

- Bye. (leaves rustling)

(audience laughs)

- Next time?

(light-hearted music)

- Have you noticed anything different or strange

about George lately?

- Well, a little bit, yeah.

- Because, listen, I want to talk to you for a minute.

- Yeah, I've got a minute.

- You know what, Betty?

I've got a sneaking suspicion that

George is interested in some other girl.

- Well, why, what did he say?

- Oh, nothing, it was the way he said it.

I mean, a girl doesn't go with a boy

as long as I have with George

and not be able to sense these things.

- I'm sure you're just imagining this.

- Maybe, but I'm notgoing to take a chance.

Look, you might sort of help me keep a weather eye open

and if you see--

- [Betty] Now, look, Diane, I'm not gonna spy on him.

- Oh, heavens no, honey,I don't want you to spy.

I wouldn't even do that myself.

All I mean, is if you,

Uh-oh, here he comes.

Hi, sweetie!

You're just in time towalk me over to French.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Oh, honey, I thought I told you

never to wear that shirt anymore.

That's not for you.

- I like it.

- No, you don't.

George, I don't know what you'd do

if you didn't have me to look out for you.

I just hope none of our six children

has as bad taste as you have.

- Six?

I thought it was five.

- Well, I decided six is a rounder number.

Come on, honey, I don't want to be late for class.

I'll see you later, Betty, and, uh, you know,

the old weather eye. (audience laughs)

Come on, honey.

(light-hearted music)

(humorous music) (audience laughs)

- Ugh.

(audience laughs)

You buy 'em genuine Aztex pottery.

Heep cheap.

(laughing)

Oh, excuse me, Ithought you were Betty.

- Oh, no, I'm sorry, George, she's not home yet.

Is there any message you'd like me to give her?

- Oh, no, no, I just, uh,

(stammers) I was on my way home.

I thought I'd stop by for a second.

It's, uh, nothing important, no message.

Ah! - Excuse me.

- Hello, Mr. Anderson.

- Hello, George, are you cold?

- No, I'm an Aztec. (audience laughs)

I mean, uh, I've gotta run.

It was nice seeing ya.

- Goodbye, George.

- So long.

Thanks.

- You're welcome. (audience laughs)

You're welcome?

What am I saying? (laughs)

Well, what is all this?

You know, for a minute, I thought you two were, uh,

getting ready to go to a masquerade.

- Oh, no.

I was cleaning out the fireplace.

- With a book? (audience laughs)

- No, I'm helping Kathy now.

- Oh.

- Then George dropped by.

He was clowning.

Oh, poor boy, he was so embarrassed.

- [Jim] What did he want?

- Frankly, I don't know,he was pretty vague.

He said he was on his way home,

but this is far out of his way.

- Well, that makes about as much sense

as anything else I've heard so far.

- You know, I was wondering.

He was here yesterday, too.

Do you suppose he's becoming interested in Betty?

- George?

Oh, not a chance.

From what I've seen of him and Diane,

I'd say Diane has him pretty well roped and hogtied.

Come on, woman, let'sget on with the cooking.

- Betty.

- [Betty] George, what are you doing here?

- Well, that's a good question.

You should've seen mea few minutes ago, boy,

did I make an Aztec out of myself in front of your folks.

(audience laughs)

- Why, what did you do?

- Oh, they'll tell ya, with laughs yet.

But if you really want to know what I'm doing here,

frankly, I've been waiting to see you.

- Me?

- Yes.

Now, look, I know everything you're gonna say

about Diane and all, but...

I'd like to have adate with you sometime.

- Oh, now, George--

- Look, Betty, I think you're one of the nicest,

prettiest girls I know.

- Please, don't say things like that.

- [George] Well, why not, I--

- I might get to like them, and I don't want to.

- [George] But Betty,there's no reason why--

- Now, look, Diane is a wonderful girl.

- Well, I know that, but she's--

- She's my best friend.

- I know.

- [Betty] She's crazy about you.

And, well, you're her property.

- Well, that's just it.

I'm not so sure I wantto be property anymore.

Well, she's a fine, wonderful girl, but

well, darn it, she's got everything so

well-planned out for me.

Marriage, those six kids, me working in the bank.

I'm beginning to think that's not for me.

- Now, George.

- Well, maybe I don'twant to settle down yet.

Maybe I want to travel.

See the world while I'm still young.

Lots of things I want to do.

That she doesn't tell me to do.

And the main thing I want to do is...

Is to date you.

- George, I'm very flattered, really.

Because I think you're a very, very nice boy.

And I really like you.

But as for dating, no.

As long as things are as they are, absolutely not.

- You mean that?

- I'm afraid so, sorry.

But thanks.

- Well, if you say so.

I may still have a few ideas on this.

- Don't try.

I'll see you around.

- Okay.

Yeah, I'll see you.

Bye.

(soaring music)

(doorbell rings)

- Oh, yeah, you might as well get it.

It's probably old George. (audience laughs)

- George? Why would you say that?

- Oh, I hear he's been,uh, hanging around here.

Trying to palm off secondhand Indian pots

on you or Mom, or something. (audience laughs)

Wish I'd been here to see that.

- For your information,I am not interested

in George Frazier.

- Oh, don't hit me, don't hit me.

What's that Shakespeare jazz about protesting too much?

(audience laughs)

- Hello, Betty. - Diane, come on in.

- Are you busy?

- Oh, nuh-uh.

- We've got to have another conference.

- Oh, sure, come on in.

- Well, I was right about my hunch.

Oh, I was so right.

George told me the whole thing.

- Uh, he did what?

- He came over this evening,

and he said it was hightime he had a chance

to speak his mind.

Isn't that just like a man?

You'd think I'd been browbeating him or something.

- Well, listen, Diane.

- He said he wanted to break up.

I just couldn't believe it.

After all I've done for him.

I asked him pointblank who the girl was.

He wouldn't even admitthere was another girl.

He just said he wanted to be free for awhile

to go his own way.

- (sighs) Well, Diane...

Maybe you do sort of brow,

I don't mean browbeat.

I mean...

Well, maybe you are a little bit too possessive of him.

And men resent that.

- Oh, that's just something he built up

in that twisted little mind of his.

Normally, George is so

sweet and

nice and sensible.

But since this, this girl, whoever she is,

has looked at him twice,he's all twisted up.

By the way, have you seen him with any particular girl?

- No.

Only me.

- Oh, well, you.

I mean, someone he'd be romantically interested in.

(audience laughs)

- What if it was me?

- (laughs) You're hardly his type. (audience laughs)

That's the worstpart of it, too.

If he'd be satisfiedwith an occasional date

with someone like you, I wouldn't worry.

But oh, no.

Can't you just see the type he'd go for?

Some little blonde nothing. (audience laughs)

With French movie star hair, flying all over her head,

and black-rimmed eyes,

that walks like this. (audience laughs)

Oh, I just can't understand how George

can change so radically overnight!

The big oaf.

- He hasn't changed so much.

- You just don't know.

Now, how can I get him back to his sweet, sensible...

Wait.

Maybe you've given me an idea.

Maybe I could sort of lead him around

to the idea of dating you.

- Me? Oh, now, wait a minute.

- Oh, look, you'll be doing it for me.

Then, he could have his little fling

and get it out of his system,

and I wouldn't be tearing my heart out

because he'd be with someone safe.

See?

- Safe? (audience laughs)

- Oh, it wouldn't work.

George wouldn't cooperate.

You're simply just not his type.

Well, I guess it's my problem.

I'll just have to work it out myself.

Thanks for trying to help anyway.

At least, I still have you.

(spirited music) (audience laughs)

George, sweetie!

- Oh, hello, Diane.

- Honey, I've been thinkingover what you said last night--

- Oh, well, look, I--

- I think maybe you're right.

- Yeah?

- Oh, of course, I'm not jumpingin the air for joy over it,

but well, I think you should feel free

to date anyone you like.

- Well, gee, Diane, I'm glad there are no hard feelings.

- Oh, none.

I just hope, honey, that

whoever you date will besomeone worthy of you.

Someone like, um, say,

oh, I don't know.

Well, like Betty, for example.

- Betty Anderson?

- Oh, I don't mean her necessarily,

just somebody like her.

I wouldn't dream oftelling you who to date.

That's entirely up to you.

- Well, I don't know about her.

- Of course, she is a lovely girl.

- Yeah.

- But as I say, I wouldn't dream of influencing you.

- Well, I don't know.

Of course, if you thinkit would be a good idea.

- Oh, no, no, no.

That's entirely up to you.

(audience laughs)

Well...

I have to get to class now.

Bye, George.

(light-hearted music)

- Hey, Betty!

- Oh, now, George, stay away from me.

- Stay away nothing, I'm gonna date you

whether you like it or not.

- Now, George, listen, Diane--

- Diane is no longer an issue.

We've broken up, and Ican date anybody I want.

- That may be, but--

- She even suggested I date you.

Practically insisted on it. (laughs)

- She did, huh?

- Yeah, how do you like that?

- I don't like it. (audience laughs)

I don't want you to date me just because she suggested it.

- Oh, well, look, I asked you

before that ever happened, didn't I?

- Yes.

That is true.

- Well, what about tonight, yes?

Affirmative?

- George, you've got a date.

(light-hearted music)

- (whistles) Wow-wee.

For a girl who's not interested in George Frazier,

you are sure gussied upthere. (audience laughs)

- Things have changed since then.

And incidentally, would you, uh,

mind staying out of theliving room tonight?

- Oh, I wouldn't dream of disturbing you and George

in any way. (audience laughs)

Have you got the binoculars all set, Kath?

- Mm-Hm.

- Oh, hush. (laughs)

And now, you, Kathy.

- Yeah, I know, I know,I have my instructions.

Mother and I will be upstairs,

studying our atomic protons.

- And that doesn'tmean sneaking down here

every five minutes.

Uh, Father?

- Oh, you don't have to worry about me.

I have to go out and see a client tonight.

Darn it. (audience laughs)

But I expect to get a full report from Kathy

on the evening, later on.

- (laughs) You'd better not.

Say, why don't you take your books upstairs right now

so that, uh, you won't have anyreason for coming down here.

- I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!

(light-hearted music)

- (sighs) Father, I know you think it's a little odd,

me dating George tonight.

- Oh, I didn't say a word.

This is all your own business.

I just hope you know what you're doing.

- Oh, well, I do.

- Okay.

(light-hearted music)

- Well, after all, this was Diane's idea.

She even told George to date me.

- Look, I'm not arguing.

- What did you mean...

What did you mean when you said you hoped

I knew what I was doing?

- Well, it's just that George and Diane

have been going togetherfor quite awhile.

Oh, I know she, uh, pushes him around a little too much,

but that can be straightened out.

My guess is that at this point, uh,

George doesn't really know what he wants.

- Well, he does.

- Chances are you don't either.

Then, there's your friendship with Diane.

That's not a thing to be tossed off lightly.

Do you really think that what you're doing

is worth destroying the trust of a friend?

- Well, Diane's a big girl and can take care of herself.

And from now, she'd better.

(spirited music)

(audience laughs)

(light-hearted music)

- Ugh, greetings,squaw. (audience laughs)

- Thank you, come on in.

What is it?

- Aztec pottery, what else?

- Oh, it's so pretty, thank you very much.

- You can keep it too because

I'm not really an Indian giver.

- Well, I wouldn't give itback, even if you were. (laughs)

Well, come on, let's goin and sit down, huh?

- Uh-Huh.

Man, oh man, just look at you.

You'd knock a man's eyes out.

- Careful, compliments go to my head.

I'm not accustomed to them.

Do you want to sit here?

- Sure.

- You're sure now, you're happy staying here

rather than going out someplace?

- Oh, no, this is for me,

as long as you're here.

- Well, I'm here.

And there are some genuine Aztec cookies.

I made them myself, so you don't have to eat them

if you don't want to.

- Boy, that sure soundsdifferent from Diane.

She'd say, "George, sweetie, I made these cookies,

"eat them, you'll love them."

(audience laughs)

Who wants to think about her?

You know, um, you not only look wonderful tonight,

you look somehow different.

- Well, maybe I am different.

Maybe I've looked forward to this for a long time

without being able to do anything about it.

- I guess we both wanted the same thing

without realizing it.

- [Diane Voiceover] Oh, no, Betty,

you're simply just not his type.

- [Betty Voiceover] Oh, I'm not, eh?

(audience laughs)

(romantic music)

- [Diane Voiceover] George, George, I don't know

what you'd do if you didn't have me to look out for you.

- [George Voiceover] Yeah, well, let's find out.

(audience laughs)

- Hi.

- Hi.

(romantic music)

- [Jim Voiceover] Do you really believe

that what you're doing is worth destroying

the trust of a friend?

- What's the matter?

You've got a far away look.

- It's nothing.

Nothing.

- [Diane Voiceover] Atleast, I still have you.

(audience laughs)

- (sighs) Do you get the feeling

that someone is lookingover our shoulders?

- Huh?

Oh, well, now that youmention it, I do, Diane.

(audience laughs)

- Diane?

- Oh, I'm sorry, Ididn't mean to say that.

Just slipped out, I...

I'm so used to saying Diane all the time.

Habit.

- Are you sure you wantto break that habit?

- Oh, you must be kidding.

- Oh, now look, George.

Let's face it, Diane might as well be right in this room.

She's too much a part of you.

As a matter of fact, sheeven arranged this date.

- Oh, no, no, the date was my idea.

No, I guess you're right.

As it worked out, she called all the sh*ts.

- Yes, and she's gonnago on calling the sh*ts

if you let her.

Now, my advice to you, George, is to assert yourself.

(phone rings)

- Yeah.

- Hello?

- Hello, Betty, this is Diane, but don't give me away.

How are things going? (audience laughs)

- Well, actually, quite well.

You want to talk to him?

- Oh, no, no.

I don't want him to know I called.

I don't want to talk to him now.

- Maybe he wants to talk to you.

And from now on, I thinkyou oughta listen to him

a little more.

Hold on.

George, it's for you.

- Who, me?

Well, who is it?

- A friend of yours.

- Oh, thank you.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Diane! (audience laughs)

Oh, we're getting along fine.

Hey, look, it's still early,

I think I'll drop by and see ya.

Well, who says I can't?

Oh, Betty doesn't care.

Well, I want to seeya, so I'm coming over.

- Atta boy.

- (laughs) Okay.

I'll be there.

Bye.

- Now, you keep that up.

And thanks for half an evening.

It was fun.

In a goofy sorta way.

- Yeah, it was.

I got a lot out of it, I know.

- Oh, uh, do you want your planter back?

- Oh, no, I told you I wasn't an Indian giver. (laughs)

You keep that as a souvenir of the old Aztec days.

- Oh, hello, George.

- Good evening, Mr. Anderson.

That is, uh, goodnight.(audience laughs)

I'll see ya, Betty.

Bye.

- Well...

He, uh, leaves early, doesn't he? (audience laughs)

- Well, you know how itis with those bankers

with six kids.

They've gotta get home early to see their wives.

(audience laughs and applauds)

(spirited theme music)