02x09 - Still Dreaming

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

Brian wise the TV off because I turned

it off oh god I thought it was broken oh

yes why did you turn it off because i'm

studying equation oh well i got one for

you my finger plus this red button

equals the sum of my existence behind

the merit I'm watching a marathon kind

of funny allocates the Planet of the

Apes marathon people running boring

people running from talking apes awesome

it's kind of fascinating I mean they

asked the audience to consider an

alternative evolutionary timeline haha

monkey in a doctors outfit all right hey

how is the sale like a w*r shoving

grabbing pushing I hope I didn't hurt

anyone mom was great every time somebody

had something that I wanted she tricked

them and got it for me how does she do

that yeah we all here gimme that what

like that you're learning honey next

time we go shopping I'm going to teach

you the symptoms of hypoglycemia people

about to faint go to the friends alive

oh I don't know sweetie this is kind of

a grown-up science fiction movie might

be a little scary for you but that

monkeys in a doctor scene of orange well

at least I know one of them's mine

[Music]

me

[Applause]

[Music]

I'm going in to work on a Saturday and

you're just going to sit here all day

and watch planet of the eight uh what's

the point knocking yourself out in a

hundred million years the apes are going

to be calling the sh*ts anyway like they

are right now what's in the sack my

dirty clothes can't use the laundry room

in my building some creep keeps sneaking

in there and taking my underwear doesn't

he know all he has to do is buy a drink

no bad thing is the panty beats the

closest thing I've had to a relationship

and once it's always about the time with

the hours I've been working lately so

you're getting that promotion so you

wouldn't have to work so hard no I

didn't get it I gave it to the new

paralegal there's got a better pair and

barely legal that is terrible yeah keep

your chins up here and on top of that I

put on five counts bill I need you to do

me a favor Judy it's my weekend I don't

want to clean the gutters I need you to

be nice to Linda today can I just clean

the gutters I mean it she's having a

rough time right now she really wanted

that promotion it's pathetic should not

even fighting back when you sling them

up I don't mind it's still fun oh please

just throw a bone how about a frisbee

Roy off the insult yeah it'll be nice to

her what do I get out of it you continue

to cash in on the lucky break you caught

in high school I like to think of it as

the other way around it's not true but

that's how I like to think he's a plan

adobe ace oh it's the news run Linda run

well I get it I'll leave you alone you

know what Sam watch it with me all right

[Music]

eczema commercial so gross can you

imagine something that irritating that

just won't go away oh I have no idea

what that'll be like hey you know I'm

gonna go out and grab something to eat

anything around here that's fast and

cheap booze blue fast and cheap

something easy doesn't have to be hot

dad I need to help with my homework yeah

I know I've seen it right no I have to

write a paper on someone in my family

who's my role model and it's due on

Monday hey you know I feel don't make

anything I gotta go to the store anyway

my milk sour and my eggs are always past

the expiration date come on dad it will

only take a couple hours why don't you

ask you and Linda why well she's going

through a rough time right now might be

nice to throw her a bone not a frisbee

about her about you know what I'm

bringing back the old fashioned because

I said so Linda Lauren has to do a paper

on a role model for school and she's

chosen you robot well that's so

flattering

oh I've always sensed that you look up

to me a little you know you don't have

to do this if you don't really want to I

mean snap to answer a bunch of questions

my whole day is free and now so is mine

six no seven updated seven guys named

Glen should I get that under

achievements or hobby well to

achievements for were hobbies and one

was to make a Steve jealous of which

ipad 4 is there anything that you do for

fun that you wish you could do for a

living I mean other than dating ok well

there's just one thing but I don't know

it's kind of silly what is it okay goose

close oh sweet of geese no no you know

those fake plastic white keys people

have on their porches or front yard

sometimes people dress them up a little

outfit haven't you seen the goose in the

bikini I may see your mother remember

that yeah you know what she's probably

storing in the basement for the world

outlander we only have to do this right

now we can talk about it is a stranger

was on the stairs in a box marks do neat

thing I found it someone could have

accidentally given it away you made this

that's why the first ones I've made have

gotten better kind of cute really yeah

especially for something I thought was

insane like 30 seconds ago oh thank you

didn't think my mom ever puts out on the

front porch well she was probably afraid

it would get stolen hey who's the new

chick that's aunt linda's new business

idea well of an actual business yet but

I could make it one I mean lots of

people sell them I was thinking about

getting a booth at a swap meet but I

still think I can do it alone so you

know maybe I could help you really yeah

I mean I'm always coming up with good

ideas for clothes look at what I do hold

on the questionnaire while you're

talking about your boyfriend so cute as

far as I'm concerned the only thing you

should dress a goose in is a gravy sport

coat and sweet potato / much fun so much

fun well Lauren picked me to be her role

model now she's going to help me make

goose close wow how long have I been

gone

Judy I found the goose I made you in a

box marked donate oh no I I wanted to

donate to Bob you and I should go up in

a look at the computer and I can show

you all the toys clothes websites look

Lauren has to do a paper on a role model

for school and she's doing it out of

Linda wow she true of Linda to be her

role model and wonder why she didn't ask

me believe me you wouldn't have wanted

it she asked me but there were a lot of

questions involved and as you know I'm a

very private person I beg you to close

the bathroom door the only reason she

asked Linda is because you told me to

throw in the bone and that bone was

Lauren oh so you told her to pick Linda

will that make sense way to go bill I

owe you one oh no need to thank me just

meet me upstairs we're in this the hat

too that's especially the Hat

[Music]

hey there you are look what I have two

special invitation to a warehouse shoe

clearance at shoe clearance warehouse I

can't go mom finishing up our outfit for

goose Springsteen mr. bandana or you've

got a great imagination you're so

creative I guess you take after your

aunt and Linda things I could be a

fashion designer yeah and dressing geese

is great practice because a lot of women

are small on top and big on the bottom

what she's doing it on purpose mind if I

take a look at summit Tina's old baby

clothes maybe some of them can be

altered to the geese well sure why not

oh there's a little sailor suit that

would be perfect a goose in a sailor

suit kind of obvious don't you think I

know how you got roped in task and Aunt

Linda to be a role model but if you

don't want to do this boost clothes idea

you don't have to no I really want to oh

right what was I thinking saying that

about your Aunt Linda oh I mean it I'm

making these outfits are really fun and

plus Aunt Linda is going to pay me five

dollars for every outfit I sell it's why

I quit my babysitting job you quit your

babysitting job what do you have to fall

back on it just doesn't work out the

fact that i'm 14 and you kind of legally

have to take care of me hey got the baby

clothes I'll run out to the car and get

the rest of the stuff oh Linda Lauren

seems really excited about your little

side business yeah that's what great

yeah I'm just worried that maybe she's

focusing on it a little too much I mean

she did give up her babysitting job

which was a real job for this switch

what well what's gonna happen to Lauren

if your idea you know feels is that what

you want to see Phil well you have to

add a few other money-making schemes

that didn't exactly work out there was

that summer that you're going to sell

candles but you left them in the trunk

of your car it one giant candle with 200

wicks

which I still use oh and then the time

you were going to be a caricature artist

to kitty parties I don't know why those

parents got so mad I mean I'm not a

photographer their kid has a big nose

I'm gonna draw it like a banana try

things are like some people that's

supposed to me well you know I put

myself out there okay don't judge me

because you settled settled Judy you're

not exactly blazing a big trail oh yeah

stephannie boots in a cocktail dress

that's living on the edge some of us

have responsibilities Linda or excuses I

mean Judy used to be so creative now you

don't even have a hobby Oh unless you

count bubble bursting oh what a string

you're just lashing out at me because

I'm telling you what you don't want to

hear face it you are never going to get

your life together until you stop

grabbing it those crazy schemes that go

nowhere oh wait we're back to tell and

Linda what we really think about it let

me get my notes

oh my god it's finally happened planet

of the geese we're all set up what's

going on Franz taking pictures for our

goose clothes website and I have one of

you wearing a tiny goose bottom while

you were sleeping but that's for my

website what's all this while we were

such a big at the swap meet so

Brian is helping I set up a website so

we can solve your clothes online you

were a hit yeah I mean eighty dollars

sure beats babysitting Wow hey at the

outfit Lucille Ball and Gander Claus hey

you look nice bought it today brands

going to take my pictures for us Linda's

goose clothes com was I sell crap com

already taken I talk to you for a second

sure listen I feel terrible but what

happened the other day and I just don't

want us to be fighting I'm sorry

obviously I was wrong in your idea

what's good my should have made fun of

it thanks that means a lot to me

everything I said about you being too

afraid to live your dreams I didn't mean

it you have a great life with film the

kids not everyone has to be creative Hey

look at the picture Brian took of me

wearing the little hat I look like a

giant baby how did you eat every two

hours

[Applause]

Oh what you and Linda made up yeah good

glad everything's all right now yeah

everything's fine oh my stop taking

chances and become someone who has

settled for so little the thing I don't

have feelings not just you it's a whole

life we built together oh yeah that

takes the sting out every day the same

thing get up go to work make a meal have

sex get up go to work make a meal have

sex honey you're looking at it the wrong

way you get up go to work make a meal

half by the way who's this guy you

having sex with that know what I mean no

wonder Lauren didn't pick me for a role

model I don't take risks you take plenty

of risks you married a guy with almost

no marketable skills I wanted to make a

living doing something creative and then

you know I take the first safe job that

comes along Judy if you want to do

something creative than do it i'll

support you a hundred percent really cuz

i was thinkin of adirondack chairs you

want to dress up Adirondack chairs no

make them remember we bought that kid

and you built them and I hand painted

him with vines and flowers oh yeah that

was a what else you got oh great

people constantly ask my parents where

they bought them we could build a whole

bunch in Selma the same swap me where

Linda cells or goose clothes you sure

you're not just doing this to compete

with your sister oh no of course not if

I was gonna compete with my sister on I

I put shoes on chickens Judy you already

have such a full life you know gettin up

go in the world making a meal having sex

bill if i end up built in the chairs by

myself you're gonna end up doing one of

those things by yourself i choose which

one cuz i really can't cook

okay I'm the last chair kid out of the

van and my last vertebrae out of

alignment so how's it going great you

really enjoying it greater it's almost

out of your system great said if I did

something creative you'd support me I

was kind of hoping you were all talk

well I'm not so what do you think oh

it's fine hi Wow let me sit down and

rest a huge head I just got from that

big giant compliment I'm not saying it's

bad I'm just saying if you're gonna

paint all that Ivy you want to you know

balance it out with flowers hello what

are these oh I thought those were

lollipops why would I put lollipops out

of mine I don't know lollipops on ivy &

gumdrops on kittens is not a song hey

don't you obviously don't have the

artistic eyes that I have so you just

build the chairs and leave the creative

stuff up to me fine oh you know what it

because the one with clouds you want me

to paint clouds on a chair please tell

me how that makes sense well how does a

lollipop bush make sense of it oh this

looks so great Oh Lord told me all about

your chair project I'm so proud of you

look at you following through oh and

this is neat lollipops yes like Willy

Wonka so i guess i'll see you guys the

meet laura and i have a ton of stuff to

do to get ready we want to get there

early so we can get a good boost well

bill and I are gonna get there super

early in fact Bill's gonna load the van

tonight bill hope we get to meet he is

the meet listen to her using that lingle

like she's queen of the swap meet i'll

show her who's not creative okay i'm

still on super early and loading the van

tonight get the chairs up the stairs and

then you could take a break right

something funny I was going to say the

same thing to you good thing we were

able to take apart these chairs and

reassemble them up here huh yeah good

thing and we did you design this fiscal

Oh your role model paper Jan a good for

you yep yes my can't you liked it she

must have been impressed with your

choice role model mommy really don't

need to read that why not well I kind of

had to fudge some of the facts about

Aunt Linda I mean once you get past the

goose coat there's really not much to

work with so I ended up turning her into

a combination of Gwen Stefani Maya

Angelou and you me I'm assertive your

role model I mean you work really hard

to keep the house going junk oh I'm just

doing what a mom done yeah but besides

that you also have a full-time job plus

you made this great cheer I mean I

didn't know you could see so well this

film at the lollipops is awesome yeah

everyone keeps going on and on about

that one you think you could help me

keep my head board like this sure yeah

except for a headboard i'm thinking more

like cloud when you come up this stuff

it's the kid well I gotta run at lenders

gonna pick me up for the swap meet okay

then okay one more and the van will be

loaded after the swap meet so will I

actually bill I don't think we need to

sell the chairs anymore what it's not so

important now Lauren just told me she

admires ever what about creative

fulfillment my daughter admires me she

wants to be me Gwen Stefani and that

lady who's always on Oprah she wants to

be Oprah know if I meant Oprah I

wouldn't have said the woman who's

always on Oprah I would have said Oprah

see that's why I'm the role model I mean

maybe I don't take risks but I am

running this whole operation my daughter

is amazed by me and frankly so am I wow

that's great I'm happy for you and your

full amazing life I'll get you a full

amazing ass in the van I just loaded

think i also have an amazing ass yep

you're gonna use it to sell these chairs

now go go my role model has a very full

life she's very nurturing she has an

amazing singing voice and of a moment it

speaks to a woman's experience Wow

Lauren capture me or what most about

time somebody captured you I'm open I've

got a date with a new blend so well I

say it's a charm

[Music]

I wouldn't have it any

way have you madly

[Applause]