02x13 - Still Narcing

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

hey what are you doing what's it look

like I'm at the end of dishwasher

without being asked so I don't want you

to tell me I never do anything around

here did you run the dishwasher yeah

Brian's here who's it Sarah Henley Oh

real funny Becca you want to pretend you

to homecoming queen you got to sound a

lot more stuck up what ha3 fair I'm

Lauren and I brain sisterís okay I'll

get him crying phone the homecoming

queen wants to talk to Brian oh no he's

not helping a design a dress or

something hello okay Sarah yeah the

party's tonight at Andy Howard's it's

gonna be mad crazy what's mad crazy not

quite twisted but better than Giggy

alright a/c unit your friends were Sarah

Henry yeah she's a sweet kid when we

become friends since I started hanging

with a varsity basketball team when you

say hanging you're talking about your

underwear from the flagpole and you end

up right no I'm the team statistician

and they like having me around and

what's this party you're going to that's

no big deal some seniors having some

people over so bright you know what

would be mad creepy you're not going to

the party

listen Brian we're really happy that

you're making new friends with Jeremy

it's awesome are you sure you're ready

for a senior party yeah Warren well just

that you know it's an older crowd and

they're going to be doing older activity

by that she means smoking and boozing

and you know we can't condone that guys

I promise I would never drink I've seen

it ill effects call teaching by example

and you're welcome the crime this is a

big decision and your father and I need

to discuss it before we let you go I

understand this is great okay a lot of

concerns here's some pros here's some

cons discuss discuss discuss or tense

moment okay okay you're right Brian

should go to the party no I really think

we should talk about this so you sure

he's ready come on Judy we need to let

him experience these things now so he

doesn't go buckwild later what's that

mean when Brian goes to college do you

want him to be the kid who goes to his

first keg party gets smashed streaks

through the dorms and wakes up naked and

handcuffed to the bike rack in the quad

that's crazy Judy it can happen to a guy

twice well if you think Brian is ready

then we'll let him go Oh some sweat a

little bit you know we don't want him to

think that this was an easy decision all

right all right Billy

back

[Applause]

[Music]

come on bold let's see some offense the

last three games they've only been

sh**ting thirty percent from the floor I

mean Pippins got a sweet outside sh*t

Michael just put him in this Pippins off

his game tonight wait wait my son just

had Tiffin and he wasn't talking about

musical theatre I've dreamt about this

day son since I've been doing stats for

the team I've really gotten into

basketball I mean if you think about it

it's all about mass and sis crying

crying it's basketball don't talk it up

pull up oh great we're on day 4 of an

online wrist marathon wish me and my tin

soldiers good luck hopefully those ten

fingers won't be as prom date this year

actually the party he went to the other

night he told me he was talking to a

blond girl from the swim team who was

pretty nice you know what that means

Judy well I'm guessing with Brian that

means she's blonde she swims and she's

nice oh yeah no it was fun I had a great

time too yeah I'll totally call you okay

you big freak Linda what are you doing

oh just had the worst date this guy's

Pete was so needy and couldn't stop

hanging on me staring at me it's like he

wants to suffocate me well in vitamin we

have pillows

hello what stop what you're doing Brian

we need you to come pick us up the whole

team's been out party hey hey hey kid

I'm not Brian Yeah right and I'm not

drunk the tacos sale on the corner of

homestead and nubile I feel the same way

about tacos but I'm not picking you up

oh come on dude you promised besides

it's puked on my car keys and now the BP

thing won't work well you know what does

work my hanging up ething adios I just a

drunk basketball players asking Brian

for a ride home well bill how are those

boys gonna get home we can't even strand

it well they're expecting Brian to pick

them up let's call him is it becames

well call information what's up Kings

last me a keen haha Balu a bop-bam-boo

liar look you guys should try and do

something I waste these kids trying to

rouse himself home oh maybe I should oh

whoa wait you can't go these guys think

Brian's cool he imagine how it'll look

when his mommy turns up to get him well

I won't tell them that I'm his mom I'll

tell mom is cousin his cool cousin from

California in tether I'll go these guys

are high school athletes they'll feel

more comfortable with one of their own

you can be Heather when I get back by

the way Heather is blonde and anxious to

learn

hey how long we've been out Bryan got

old and puffy Brian couldn't make it

tonight so he sent his dad what a wood

no no no I'm not his dad I'm Brian's

cousin stats in Hawaii really that's

right he lives there solves crime with

his old Nam buddies their short shorts

and has a sweet mustache column magnum

p.i sounds like that show magnum p.i

little bit hey we're gonna have to give

you tell on Monday we're begging out on

us I'm sorry did you just call Brian

cheese yeah that's his nickname who

actually his nickname is Jesus our

helper monkey yg because these are

Butler duty does everything we tell them

to he's our designated driver he goes on

berger runs he does our homework

babysits my son so the only reason you

hang out with brian is so he can be your

errand boy and chauffeur not like we

make him wear a little hat dude yeah we

do remember sorry i thought i saw a

weasel oh my place is at the end of the

block geez easily turn the motor off a

few houses in my parents don't hear miss

man you got it buddy thank you

hope you don't wake up your parents we

are going to do that my house are you

okay good I'm five doors down oh the

house that used to have the mailbox in

front you hold our boys

joy how will I think you should give him

a call not we only want to one day okay

come right oh oh Susan and accounting

once the grout was pizza needy guy oh

great off the hook maybe lots of

attention which I do not want ooh lots

of compliments which hello I do not need

maybe I should just give him a call and

give him a bit of a heads up but I know

that Susan's coming back stabber so now

you want to come because someone else

wants him huh Debbie where'd that

Susan's pretty desperate o'kiku Harland

is born a little nutty over that guy huh

yeah she deserves better she's good

people honey I made pot roast for dinner

I'm not hungry all right now you're

freaking me out I'm about Brian too much

Gotti come on babe Judy I thought my son

was cool now it turns out he's nothing

but an errand boy you can't just slap a

pot roast on that wound Judy I was baby

onions well if it makes you feel any

better I would have done exactly what

you did to those boys really except I

would have waited till they got into the

front of the car and chased him down to

see the fear and their little basketball

Facebook were messing my bride not so

Jackie now are you the basketball team

won't talk to me anymore and they booted

me from practice and I owe it all to my

cousin way to go Magnum

wait crying sit down there's something

that we need to talk to you about now it

might not be easy to hear this but it's

something that your father found out

last night those basketball players

they're not your friends it's true they

only let you hang out with them because

they think of you as their errand boy

they don't respect you they make fun of

you duh I know that makes fun of me

that's what they do they make fun of

everybody they call me a G so that they

call Greg the missing link and they call

Steve crotch rot I think I'm ahead are

you sure you want to hang out with

people who treat their friends like

garbage yes okay I get to cut in line at

lunch I sit at the cool table the hot

senior girls talk to me and now because

you busted in the whole school is

calling me knock damn strip hop that bad

what's up narc don't call your brother's

act what if I yell people are gonna hate

me too all right but not at home just at

school in front of lowes I'm wasting my

entire Friday night watching Brian sit

on a bench in whose aesthetic a punk and

Bryan into a rough time this family

supports each other when okay come to

New were trying Gary's Brian yeah

there's some other to put the club bored

sitting in her seat I hope they didn't

demote him to what what team job is

lower than doing stats are very own

[Applause]

maxime is just like Brian

oh my god it is Brian crying the enzian

earth the obstacle team in rehab maybe I

should go down there and see how he's

holding up they want me to say oh let

him know that we're still proud of him

and nothing he could do could change

things that may be back dude it's narcs

cousin what do you want narcs cousin I'm

just looking for Brian he's not here

listen guys I just wanted to say I'm

sorry about getting me in trouble with

you folks that was not cool I was just a

little bent out of shape when I heard

you making fun of Brian it's a big deal

we were just kidding around I know that

now I guess I just got a little

overprotective when it comes to him that

makes sense with his dad being in Hawaii

you know Brian loved being the

statistician and he's been really down

since you started treating him like a

narc I'm the not not him maybe it was a

little harsh bus to him down to mascot

it was a great statistician really

gentle with my baby too it's not too

late guys I'm sure he'd love to get back

on the team all you gotta do is ask him

I don't know oh well well boys the big

game against Hancock magnet schools

coming up right yeah and isn't it

tradition to prank those stuck-up punks

well I think Brian's great big getaway

van can come in pretty handy when you

say putting the John Hancock statue and

address a good idea but I've got the

perfect dress

ok let's it up narcs cousins right now

on narc is back to being jeez and I'm

accepting submissions for a new nickname

for kyle is the holdup sorry coach Bill

Miller class of 82 you got yourself a

real bunch of hell raisers here uh-huh

one of my boys up to now oh just talking

about what kind of prank might be on top

before the big Hancock game is that

right Frank Frank if you heard anything

after the fiasco last year this school

cannot afford hip surgery for another

girl I'm sorry I don't know glad you

told me everyone thank mr. Miller here

for bringing this to my attention hey I

want you to think about this Frank what

you're doing 200 gut busters after the

game 200 gut busters now it's three okay

we got a game to win let's go you suck

all right let's it off Jesus nickname is

still narc and narcs cousins new

nickname is suck later suck later

why I was just trying to help are you

mad yeah but you're smiling

okay I still haven't heard from Pete

I've left by 10 messages I even for a

little note on his car you went to his

house oh no it's parked outside of that

Susan's place friend I set her up

with him and how she pay me back by

dating him I swirling herself at him

Judy so his car was parked as I never

half all night long release until

Juliana I know I still think for a while

oh you have been burning the crazy

candle at both ends done may break my

bones but you turned your son into a

mascot hey hey don't be too hard on bill

he was only trying to get Brian back

with the cool crowd screwed it up so bad

you want to cry hello is he okay yeah

we'll be right there thank you that's a

coach who wants to talk to us after

practice something about Brian okay I'll

look after Tina you and suck should go

down there how do you know that calling

me that what's up suck

I have to say I'm very disappointed I'd

expect this kind of behavior from Brian

I didn't do anything yeah we believe you

son what did he do I'd rather not say in

front of the fairer sex Oh her you got

to be kidding me come on coach

apparently you guys didn't understand

when I said no pranks against Hancock

magnet school because last night someone

vandalized Hancock sign today I found

this in Bryan murmurs locker why would

he just steal the haan from the Hancock

magnet did you do that for me to go na

Burke not rule Oh Miller you looking at

a month's detention and the rest of you

clowns I want a hundred commando squats

hey you know just got to do them too and

counting for us he's our statistician I

am you bet you are all right get crackin

ladies so how'd you get up there to get

to that side like what are you

spider-man hey that's a good nickname

all right listen up Jeeves formally narc

formally Jeeves is now spider-man man

spider-man spiderman spiderman spiderman

spiderman spiderman spiderman spiderman

spiderman and even got the pajamas

well Judy you were right Brian did

sorted out by himself you know that was

a hell of a prank only a true Miller man

could have pulled that off I did it what

someone had to save the kids rep so last

night I went to hancock high with a

hacksaw caught up the letters and put

them in Brian's locker I love you so

much you're a great mom you're a

wonderful wife you're a criminal stop

it's just a mr. me

[Music]

what are you doing with that the new

mascots going to come by today and pick

it up

[Laughter]

I'll get it dan I just couldn't resist

could you I'm stock is

[Music]