03x01 - Still Scamming

[bunniefuu]

hey about time you guys got that well

but we take your brother to visit

colleges it's important that we get a

complete picture of what each school has

to offer and this one had a bar nearby

that offer dollar pitchers and free hot

wings good school you guys didn't even

go on the tour oh you know it just

looked like a lot of walking and at that

point we did you bring me anything yes a

new doll glass for your collection you

don't see anything wrong with that oh

you're right Richard add honey and we

didn't forget about you Lauren we bought

you a cinnamon bun and then we did

forget about you and we ate it so could

you talk like you know you guys don't

have to go with me on every college tour

oh no no no it's our responsibility to

see these colleges with you but this

weekend I can go with Hakeem and his

parents to Ball State sorry what's the

name of that college again Ball State oh

yeah yeah yeah we'll definitely take you

to what is it again Ball State ball

state trying to show hey Lorne you going

to the movies no then why are you

picking your seat oh sorry sorry do you

still shut that rig yeah I remember the

stuff that you gave me helped all right

you know what tomorrow will call dr.

Kevin make an appointment why do I still

have to see dr. Kevin I'm 15 years old

I'd like a doctor with the last name

best opposed to a doctor who specializes

in adolescence let me know when he comes

up with the cure for it okay all right

you know what you are too old for a

pediatrician my daughter's becoming a

woman I just hope someday you could be a

role model for your daughter now if

you'll excuse me I gotta go take a

shower still a little sticky from doing

all those belly sh*ts

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

leave these brochures alcohol abuse drug

abuse unprotected sex sounds like the

night we made Brian why does it hurt

when I tea please tell me you're reading

a pamphlet okay hey sweetie how'd it go

sorry Lauren I'm gonna talk to your

parents for a moment okay don't worry

honey we'll get to the bottom of your

bottom we'll be right out when we're

done talking to a filia tell your doctor

I filia tosh.o first off i don't think

the rash is anything serious oh so you

find it funny too I didn't discuss this

with Lauren but you sometimes a rash

like this can be symptomatic of bigger

problems bigger problems yes based on my

conversation with Lauren I think she may

have some emotional issues that could

benefit from therapy and possibly

medication emotional issues my point

well she had anxiety about schoolwork

anger toward her siblings she resents

Authority oh so what you're saying is

she's a teenager her brother has got a

bad case of that too I think there might

be a little bit more to it than that I

am think she's depressed of course she's

depressed she's got a crusty rash on her

blood there's nothing wrong with Lauren

sure she can get moody and angry and

stomp around sometimes but then the

apple doesn't fall too far from the

union there may be no cause for concern

but just in case i'm giving you the

number of a psychiatrist well doctor we

appreciate your concern but we know our

daughter better than you do with all due

respect I think you're way off on this

see this is what I was talking about the

apple tree

tree in this case representing a person

bill the tree can hear you no other life

ins thinking what if there is something

to what this doctors task if you ask me

these doctors are a little too drugged

happy I've gone my whole life without

any mood altering medication oh mama

hang on honey we just walked in the door

remember daddy's not really home until

right here yeah think about it bill she

has been giving us a lot of attitude

lately maybe that's a symptom of

something nobody in this house needs a

psychiatrist nobody who lives in more

need a psychiatrist well Lawrence doctor

thought that you might be a little

depressed depression what do you do well

we'll keep an eye on her and I'm sure if

we see something wrong we'll pick up on

it I don't know Judy you haven't always

been the best judge of noticing when

someone close to you is crying out for

help like who gosh someone you lived

with someone who was spent weeks in her

room someone who was furred a poem that

started I'm all alone on an empty seat

was there ever a soul so sad mommy I

would severely depressed in high school

as was everyone whose lives you touched

there's certain warning signs you guys

might have missed like what well have

you noticed any changes in our grade she

changed that C minus to a c-plus but we

caught her grace have been slipping

lately but she loved her art class huh

put your sketch pad yeah why well have

you actually looked at these drawings

some of them are pretty upsetting all

right she's awful do you none of these

girls have hands according to my psych

class when a when a child draw the

figure without hands it indicates a

feeling of helplessness really

maybe she just can't draw a hand you

ever think of that oh I'm sorry the

offering college courses in the toilet

department I fine with keep an eye on

her see if she seems depressed why don't

have something on me no no you look

great beautiful honey wonderful very

pretty and you're developing just fine

you're getting a nice little shape on

you talk about this now sure but we want

you to know that if there's anything you

ever want to talk about we are there for

you right where your family even talk to

us any time I let the TV's on then we

talk during commercials we're trying to

say honey it you're not alone on that

empty seat there's someone there and her

name is me once again nice shape let's

not talk about my shape pod what's wrong

with those three I'm guessing too much

drinking and not enough thinking no it's

really Brenda would be really nice to me

it's creepy oh yeah they think you're

depressed what yeah I heard him talking

about it so can I have your stereo when

they put you away hey they think I'm

mental don't freak yeah you should see

him at a college bar where beers cost a

nickel I'm gonna go tell them I'm fine

and to leave me alone hold on huh what

you know if we play this right maybe

there's a way we can both get something

out of this what are you talking about

well I have an idea but for this to work

mom and dad would have to be pretty

brain did

I think it's hard to show it

[Music]

daddy there's a bumble bee in my room

can you ah we know about daddy's coffee

honey how to wake until right there

tiger I can see it hey we got that stuff

boy you know what never mind I shouldn't

even tell you that's what well I'm

taking it up to Lauren she doesn't want

to come out of a room bill did you hear

that he's taking this food up to

Lauren's room good while you're up there

could you k*ll that be why doesn't she

want to come out of her room I don't

know she's been acting really weird

lately like she's depressed or something

you know to be honest I'm kind of

worried about all of us going out of

town this weekend but this college trips

important to what college would that big

again you know just don't all I said

meeting all right so this is getting

crazy floor can you come down here

please what are you doing I am gonna sit

worn down on the couch and ask her if

she's depressed you have to be sensitive

about throwing around words like that

the minute you put a label on something

like this it can make a person feel much

worse that's what happened to my cousin

Larry they're not

we're calling that shrink no we're not

doing that you just let me take the lead

on this someone call me you come down

here please I guess seem a little down

all right why aren't you dressed yet why

bother I feel like a big lump no you're

a very pretty young girl dad how can you

say that when everywhere I look girls

are a hundred times prettier than I am

just like I don't know for instance the

girls in this clothing catalogs are

swaying right here you're you're every

bit as pretty as they are never look

like that of course a lot of it does

have to do with the clothes well we can

buy you some new clothes what really

Phil hey hey hey if it makes my little

girl feel better that's what we're doing

Lauren do you think it's gonna make you

feel better buying new clothes I think

so this weekend I thought you guys were

going on another college trip this

weekend well we were but this is more

important we're just gonna have to tell

Brian that he has to go alone this week

what did someone mention my name Ryan

I'm sorry we can't go with you to visit

the college this weekend mm that's too

bad Oh bringing us back a sh*t glass

make sure it says Ball State

[Music]

you have fun at the mall honey yeah

daddy knows how to make your blues

disappear along with most of our green

Wow hey it's me oh hi Becca so our mom

and does still bind the act yeah you

know I don't know Becca I'm not sure I'm

up for it tonight okay well have fun

abeka psyche me and I are signed up for

the faculty tea will you girls have fun

okay very funny all right well doctor

wanted me to come over and hang out but

I'm not sure I'm up for tonight oh I

could be good for you to hang out with

your girlfriends tonight oh you know

michael leighton i have my curfew forget

about the curfew just go until midnight

not a minute after just maybe I'll go

that'd be fun I think she's feeling

better you were right I'll Smith it was

a little chair enough oh yeah you two

houses do so much fun except birds and

monkey and we had to hit those one of

them is coming on top of the other one

to give her a back rub

beautiful if from what violent crime oh

you guys did a lot shopping we took

Lauren to get some more clothes at the

mall Oh Rebecca's party party seconds

not having a party yes she is her mom

went out of town so she said when your

pool party with boys huh she didn't say

anything about a party he said he would

let her go because you think she said oh

my god well do you think she's been

giving us the old back rub that little

snake there's absolutely nothing wrong

with her okay okay now you're just

jumping to conclusions I mean there's

still this drawing with this points to a

very disturbed child hey that's mine oh

honey that's Lauren stitch pant to give

it to me well you'd reduce pictures Tina

yes but we noticed honey how how none of

these sweet little girls have hands if

is that because you're feeling insecure

and powerless no it's because they can't

draw a hand really what a simple and

logical explanation

so great that you got to have these

parties Becca yeah I'm so lucky my mom's

having an affair with her boss and she's

never here Rock Lauren your mom just

walked in oh yeah real funny beggar I'm

not kidding oh my gosh um hey mom catch

me when I got here this whole thing

turned into a pool party oh man well I

just came to check on you because you

seemed a tiny little bit sad when you

laugh no I'm fine so you can go oh oh oh

but you know what you forgot your butt

cream a backup fudge cream in the cooler

because you really you have to

refrigerate the butt cream

what would you stop saying but Kranepool

do you know what I could just hold this

towel up in front of you and you can put

the butt cream on right now although she

does have next we'll shapen you know

what I get it all right I liked you and

busted so if you want to punish me with

go home and get it over with no not

until you smile first you were so

depressed you know what's fun dancing

boy here not the chicken dance okay you

know why I find I was just baking being

depressed I wanted you to buy me stuff

I'm glad you finally told me the truth

oh can we please get out of here before

this gets any worse fine I'll find your

father dad's here hey Lauren attention

teenagers there is a severe tidal wave

alert for the following this one

[Music]

that was one crazy pool party you know

Lauren a lot of what we did tonight was

meant to embarrass you my trunk slipping

off total accident you have a nice

little shape on YouTube Thanks yeah I

don't mind hearing that I can't believe

you would put us through all that look I

told you if Brian's idea okay yeah we'll

deal with Brian later juice any idea how

worried we were about you look I said

I'm sorry okay just get upstairs you're

returning all the stuff we bought you

fine I don't care it doesn't matter

won't fix anything I'm still me and I'm

still not buying it which is the only

thing I haven't bought today hang on

what do you mean by I'm still me nothing

okay I'm going to bed Lauren come here

come here okay before you started

scamming us your doctor thought that you

might be a little bit depressed are you

know cuz i don't know i mean sure

actually does not talk about this no we

have to talk about this there's nothing

to talk about so if I hate everything in

my life okay right the way I look I

school that it's not true you loved your

article I quit my art class it works so

hard to get into it you were so excited

about it yeah until I figured out that i

suck at it just like I suck at music

types I could dance I said that

everything I do okay so can we just not

talk about this I can't just leave me

alone well if you don't want to talk to

us maybe you want to talk to somebody

else whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa it's only

one person my little girl needs to talk

to the feel better and that's our daddy

listen honey whenever I'm feeling blue I

get myself a little pep talk the way I

see it is you're only as happy as you

set your mind to be so try to be happier

okay

who's hungry how am I just supposed to

be happier easy when life gives you

lemons make lemonade what does that mean

it means if something bad happens turn

it around make it a good thing well how

do you do that by not being so sad and

stuff but West that's the way you feel I

mean how do you change what you feel I

making lemonade am I not being clear you

know what will we need to call that

doctor no I told you I'm not having my

little girl be embarrassed by going to a

therapist actually um that's not all

that embarrassing I mean some of my

friends go to therapists really yes it

should be telling you problems to a

stranger no offense but I think I'd

rather take my chances with a stranger

you know what we'll call this doctor

tomorrow

therapist Wow oh don't worry Belle

she'll be all right we're doing the

right thing I don't know it just seems

like sending it a therapy it's like

admitting we messed her up bill you just

did a cannonball at her friends pool

party think we messed her up a little

bit I know it's just the admitting I

don't like this whole thing with Lauren

has been a huge wake-up call absolutely

we have to make sure we give all our

kids the attention they need hey Tina

how are you yeah how was school today

you know i'm not home until right here

[Music]

I wouldn't have it any

away cuz imagine

[Applause]