03x02 - Still Neighbors

[bunniefuu]

let's go while we're young hey I just

came over to say goodbye goodbye aren't

you gonna wish me good luck good luck

you have no idea who I am do you maybe

this will help Milla put back my

snowblower you see the best of Ed Bailey

my next-door neighbor how are you I'm

moving to Hawaii now I felt the cases

you know oh he wants his vacations the

other night you told me take me

somewhere I've never been before I took

it to a men's room Wow we'll miss you

you know they don't need snow blowers in

Hawaii I'm taking it anyway in my last

newspaper before you steal it okay I

guess I deserve that you know you

haven't been such a great neighbor

yourself you remember that time I came

over to be sociable and you threw me out

of course you're naked more hot tub I

wasn't naked I was wearing a speedo they

kept riding up on me all in the police

report Hey Ya let's leave this on a good

note you know Barry that how can I bury

the hatchet you took it for me you stole

it never gave it back neighbor

you

[Applause]

Lauren I thought we had a deal about not

watching TV before you finished your

homework Oh see I thought it was you who

couldn't watch TV until I finished my

homework I could shave your head while

you're sleeping you but I was watching

the real world that's not the real world

this is the real world and if you sit in

front of the TV and you don't do your

homework then you wind up like this guy

I'm looking at right now stand it in the

middle of the street staring out into no

we're watching his life go by fine don't

wind up like dad okay I get it and I'm

st. Patrick's Day dad's gonna show you

why you shouldn't drink I was watching

our new neighbors moving and you just

stood out there where they could see you

with that big happy smile on that giant

jolly face oh great now they're gonna

want to be friends all right Judy I

don't like people any more than you do

I'm just thinking maybe these neighbors

will let us build the backyard deck

we've been dreaming about oh not the

deck again what neighbors gonna want us

to build a deck that close to their

property line besides it's against the

building code Judy it's worth a sh*t

beer drinking sunbathing barbecuing all

as they say in France clothing ops unit

well if we're going to take a run at

this we only got one sh*t so we got to

handle these people carefully not

rushing you know we got to give him a

day or two to really Phil Phil I swear

when that man wants something he moves

like I'm Panther I told you not to rush

this how'd you get a bottle of wine

between our house in here I took it out

of that gift basket back hey I'm Judy

Miller and this is my my husband Bill

Miller were your new next-door neighbors

and we just wanted to bring you a little

something oh that's so nice come on in

where do you want to put that down for a

minute and meet our new neighbors and

Miller's this is my son Chris he just

started at Jefferson High hi nice to

meet you hi our son Brian goes to

Jefferson you might have some classes

together well chris is in the special AP

program oh well good for you big fella

uh actually ap stands for Advanced

Placement via college credit that's the

same program right fella Oh carry your

mom's on the phone oh goody an excuse to

drink this hey mama these are the

millers you live next door hi I'm Shelly

nice to meet you to meet you hey Chris

don't you have a chem lab to write up

you're not gonna get into medical school

by slacking off although it opens a lot

of doors where I work

I'll get it started I nice meeting you

Sheldon mover needs to be paid I can't

find my purse sometimes I swear if she

weren't so pretty boy those two sure get

along Oh got to remember to find the

husband and ask him about that deck I

don't think there's a husband did you

notice how their son Chris called them

both mom and how that Shelley said that

Terry's pretty lesbian couple right here

in our own neighborhood what do you

think they use that for I'm sure it's

nothing don't touch it okay we should

say something like you know we're okay

with it we have to say anything they're

just people and if we want them to let

us build that deck you'll quit scaring

it that thing will ya Francis moving no

no we're the ones imposing we just

wanted to welcome you and your your same

gendered love buddy

yeah sorry one of the nicest names we've

been called it just says that you know

we are totally cool with you two being

lesbians no in fact we admire it we

think you're here oh well you win

fireman well thanks for coming by when

we're settled in let's all get together

well what about this weekend we'll have

you over for a barbecue don't get your

hopes up for a deck though it ain't

there what guilty so you gals like all

the regular food type film actually we

don't eat cheese oh is that a lesbian

there was a lactose intolerant thing

help you're a big guy can you help me

lift my coleus into this basket oh I'm

into it but I'd have to ask my wife

it's a plan oh then I have kind of a

week back

[Music]

okay let me show you some of the cool

people to hang out with the TJ hi all

right sports teams yawn from whatever ah

here we are magic club lille ah who's

that that's my sister and her stupid

dance club that's your sister she lives

here yeah ask you got someone who takes

basic math living all right time eater

yeah I guess Lauren Wow come here why

just do it she sounds nice oh hi this is

Chris he's on your neighbor and you've

also in some of my AP classes so i'm

just showing in the ribs did he show you

the one in Jimmy can't climb hey Chris

what time are your folks coming over

well my mom had to pick my other mom up

from work so I guess we'll be here a

minute I think it's great how you've

accepted having two moms and what to

accept its natural in fact it's better

than natural it's supernatural mom

they're lesbians not ghosts whatever we

like them both very much you're grounded

what are you doing Terry and Shelly will

be here any minute exactly when they see

how swampy our backyard gets they'll say

gee you guys should build a deck back

here and I'll say we'd love to but we

need your permission and they'll say

we'll give you our permission to build a

deck plus a video of us playing shower

games I told you if we move too fast on

this they're gonna think it's the only

reason we're being nice to them Judy I'm

a Salesman I know how to be subtle you

know oh come on thanks for having us

over brought some clothes fun oh thank

you we love cole slaw yeah we love it

can we build a deck well please I'm

sorry can we build a deck please

[Music]

careful is the neighbors agreed to us

build this day well when Tina slipped

and fell in the mud they just couldn't

say no good think she fell yeah oh I'm

ready to get to work finally I've been

building this deck all by myself hello

I'm sorry Brian you're doing a great job

once you take a break funnest part of my

days been watching that kid try and

swing a hammer Hey look at your cat face

did you have fun at the street fair yeah

we had a great time are you feeling

better since you fell yeah

Wow so the desk looking great how did

you get those gals to sign a waiver a

waiver yeah you know giving you

permission to build next to their

property line oh well we didn't actually

get them to sign anything they just said

we could build it you can get that in

writing no why well just you know I see

the sort of stuff in the law office all

the time you don't get it in writing

things go sour they complain to the city

and it's my deck so we'll get them to

sign a waiver until then we'll be great

neighbors good neighbors maybe we should

stay in a hotel yeah Christmas insights

and I'm supposed to ask you guys if I

can go to a movie with him so shake your

head now in case you're looking why

don't you want to go out with him well

he's in the math club and the rocket

club please shake your head down but

honey he saw a new neighbor and we want

to keep our neighbors happy besides

you're not getting any younger blink

your eyes and you'll be 40

that's that one hey so you're right

you're right you're going why because

you need to keep an open mind give him a

chance Chris there might be more to him

than you think yeah Chris would be happy

to let you and lauren go to the movies

together great yeah and guess what the

best part if my dad is gonna give us

like 50 bucks and spending money reggae

yeah but I'm gonna give you half now and

that's all

so you square the hypotenuse and the

answer is 54 yeah yeah uh uh hey Chris

everything mr. physics I'm work yet

because I wanted to cross check some of

my answers actually I haven't started

I'll g2 to launch but rocket club meets

tomorrow at lunch yeah I wish to hear my

quit rocket club translation he doesn't

want to play spaceman with you thanks

man we never even reached the ionosphere

why don't you go play with your

ionosphere yeah okay fine I'm just gonna

go play with the loose collection of

particulate matter that's real smart you

want another setter yeah sure I'll get

it wow look at you two great kids

studying together getting to know each

other does my heart good you realize i'm

not paying you for this really oh oh hey

Chris do you know if your moms have had

a chance to take a look at that waiver

thingy I dropped off like a week ago

yeah actually I heard them talk about it

maybe I'll pop all we're saving the trip

where's mom oh she's out back working

out the deck she was looking for you

hey neighbors oh hi Bell yeah I was I

was just chatting with Lauren and Chris

those two seem to be getting along great

who knows this keeps up you could become

our lesbians in law step the correct

term you know bill we're not just

lesbians she's a nurse and I'm a flight

attendant awesome well it seems that

ever since chris has been hanging out

with Lauren he's been bringing home

grades it or not up to his level bees

and to see oh that's a that's a bad sign

that his grades are wavering did you get

a chance to sign this waiver thank you

but I think there's a bigger issue here

look I'm sorry if we seem overprotective

it's just that Chris is our only child

and we have high hopes for him it was a

huge drawn-out process just for us to

conceive I know Judy's like that too

sometimes I got to go through a whole

checklist before I'm cleared for landing

I never thought I could get more gay but

I just did

hey good news for you anyway bill we'd

appreciate it if you'd tell Lauren to

find some other boy to hang out with you

want me to break them up I'm a little

uncomfortable with that well we may be a

little uncomfortable having a deck so

close to our property line and after all

Judy and I have done for you we welcome

you to the neighborhood with a beautiful

bottle of wine down the basket in the

bushes then this is thoroughly

embarrassing good day

[Music]

oh well I've got to hand it to you this

whole thing with the neighbors has

turned out to be great I love this deck

yeah yeah and Lauren and Chris they

really seemed to like one another yeah

yeah you know what would be funny if we

broke him up come on let's go film why

would that be funny yeah here's the

thing apparently Shelly and Terry think

that Lauren's are bad influence on Chris

they don't want to see her anymore they

don't think Lauren's good enough for

their son I resent that Lauren can see

whoever she wants and no one can tell

her otherwise if we don't break him up

we lose the deck she's pretty girls to

land on her feet

we've been noticing that you've been

hanging out a lot with Chris yeah and

I've got to thank you guys for making me

give him a chance you guys were right

right that does not sound like us maybe

you shouldn't limit yourself to Chris

there are a lot of boys out there well

not like Chris I mean I really like him

he's smart and he's sweet really listens

to me thinking maybe my first real

boyfriend oh wow well someone happy for

you honey you know you're a very lovely

girl and he's lucky to have you you

could do so much better than more what I

mean don't get us wrong we love her but

she's our daughter and we kind of have

to I really like Lord yes so do we but

this is bigger than all of us say one

day you to get married and you're a

big-time doctor going to cure terrible

diseases and Lauren says you know no

honey stay home and watch the real world

with me and you're like five and then a

million people die we're just hanging

out maybe there's another girl out there

for you you know this is cute blonde

girl Brian likes you could totally take

her away from it I don't want anybody

else we born to coolest girl I've ever

known until I met her my life is all

about grades but she showed me how to

have fun whatever you guys did you

raised a great daughter you did I don't

know tomorrow's our three-week

anniversary and I want to make Lauren a

CD of all favorite songs sure

stupid good kids and their great

relationship and then we talked with

Lauren and Chris and we realized that

they're really sweet together he's good

for her and despite what you might think

she's good for him too and who are we to

stand between two people who want to be

together I mean you you of all people

must realize that you know you two

living in your house being who you are

you know gay yeah we just hope that you

can see it our way and let the children

stay together but if it means we have to

lose our deck so be it you know maybe

we're being a little rash about the

whole thing well not if we want him to

go to medical school we also want him to

be happy you know sometimes I feel like

we're pushing him too hard and it's not

like we're ever going to be able to stop

them from liking girls yeah I guess not

my mom certainly couldn't stop me you've

done a wonderful job with Chris you got

nothing to worry about I guess you're

right so what do you say you sign the

waiver why not it's not like hanging out

with Lauren a little bit is gonna undo

16 years of great cameras okay guess

what lauren had a great idea I so much

hello to get these turntables I'm gonna

be a party DJ can I get a what-what

Christmas lights out like a light great

get that damn plants out of here and

have some fun do tonight let's invite

that hot guy bill from next door get up

and help me tear apart this deck what

I'm gonna go next door and talk to about

this one more time

[Music]

I wouldn't have it any other way cousin

Ashley

[Applause]