04x04 - Still Beauty & the Geek

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

good morning ladies and gentlemen Sir

Elton John my allergies are acting up

but can't wear my contact lenses so I

dusted off my glasses I think they may

care was pretty long oh thank you

sweetie rest of you guys i was thinking

i need to get serious about college

minute yeah and there's a tour voy alla

this friday night there's a college tour

and friday night yeah from nine to

midnight or so really well well I gotta

ask you two questions is Loyola state

school and how stupid do you think I am

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wrong you're not going to a frat party I

can't believe they even invite a high

school girl I ought to go over to that

not going either there's gonna be half

naked drunk people running around doing

stupid things yeah I've got any

different from here you're not related

to those people yeah too bad long

[ __ ] we one sh*t at being on a

college campus without being on a herpes

poster yeah Brian I have herpes in my

cereal

[Laughter]

hey knock it off I can't stand this

fightin you two need to learn how to get

along you know you're only going to have

each other to depend on when your father

and I are gone and by god I mean living

in Hawaii under assumed names I'm Chico

I want you two to hug now right now I

smell like Batman soap on a rope yeah

sure like I really take it out of its

original package Ryan I was thinking

maybe you and me could have a little

father-son bonding time on sunday really

wait oh you're your mother's making me

insulate the attic and you're helping me

think of us as a team I'm Chico and

you're the man the man who crawls ahead

of me so I don't get any spiders in my

hair well are you gonna pay me that's

right belts big job she came some fine

then maybe I should get paid for

everything I do around here you already

are one sometimes twice a week I'm

talking about press in his pants is what

we call having sex

[Applause]

[Music]

hey traffic school has to work without a

good idea I had to speed like hell to

get here did you take the Wayback

Machine mr. Peabody hahaha my glasses

make me look like a nerd good stuff

but not suppose of us getting a ticket

at the same time well you know it's out

there I was only speeding because some

lunatic behind me kept tapping my bumper

and honking it wasn't for me it was for

the line of cars behind me grandma

welcome to right way traffic schools I'm

mr. Kruger your instructor living proof

that you can get a job with the PhD in

poetry will begin in exactly eight

minutes we're being back in a classroom

together isn't it kind of high school

I'm a house on it was passing notes boys

fighting to sit next to you using your

assets to get out of a quiz so don't I

really go but i do remember being

bullied into doing some bimbos homework

because they were too lazy to cr*ck open

a book again sorry

hey what's with the getup I just dropped

Perry off to the airport he had to go

back to reno wanted him to be able to

see your boobs from there no I just want

to make sure he misses me in the girls

miss if you're looking for a seat

there's one right here no sorry I wants

it next my sister actually I was talking

to her so what was your tickets for did

you get a DW be driving well beautiful

[Laughter]

I'm all about the funny excuse me I

really like your earrings did you get

that kiss you had you know I almost

bought the same pair hi I'm Christine I

am Linda Marco Hey hi I'm Judy I got the

necklace at kipp did you get to stain on

your shirt there too okay you are all

about the phony I like it here for a

stained white I'm a drinky eater too

hey would you like a section of my

newspaper uh-oh world politics nothing I

know what you mean it's so depressing do

you think the g8 countries will ever

solve the problem of Africa's ongoing

debt I don't know maybe they should just

you know cut up Africa's credit card

satire Bravo so refreshing to find

someone smart enough to engage in witty

repartee well I do love a good party our

delightful dr. you think of all dr. Judy

Miller thanks again for coming to get me

his mom no I went to that frat party she

would freak I still can't believe back

at ditched me yeah well you're just

lucky I wasn't out on a date or

something yeah lucky anyway it was

really cool of you to do this for me I

only one don't even worry about all

that's important is that you not have a

trust and understanding if from now on

during my sl*ve what you'll do what I

say when I say otherwise I'll rat us oh

I'll k*ll you you when they were home

movies you went to the movies together

that it's great i love to see you guys

getting along yeah in fact I sherborne

such a good time that she was just

telling me how much she owed me I

witness out sure you did see we went and

saw this movie called the sl*ve it's

about this dim-witted [ __ ] girl who

despite her mother's warning

don't spoil the ending for them oh good

news dad Lauren wants to help us

insulate the Attic on Sunday oops I

don't know the attics are very dangerous

place I'm not sure a young three welcome

aboard

hey where's your bairn I said we're

gonna quiz each other on the new highway

law yeah i just had to pull it off and

crochet ooh sexy another outfit for

perry not your traffic school there are

girls of traffic school calendar than I

don't know about come on it's fun

getting some attention like being the

popular one for once Marco Marco

actually passed me a note in class had

said are you bored check yes or no I

kept you yeah yeah you know it's kind of

fun that guy Wallace because my glasses

he thought I was some kind of Brainiac

like to have someone interested in what

I had to say we have this very

stimulating conversation about global

warming apparently it's real bad what

are you doing sl*ve you should be

upstairs making my bed and cleaning my

robot I am done doing anything for you

jerk wad so from now on you can go back

to polishing your own robot how dare you

speak to me that way it's punishment you

miss clean my retainer you're gone

forget oh really well then I guess it's

time for me to go have a talk good mom

about where you were on Friday night you

know what you're not going to do that

because while I was cleaning your room I

found major dirt on you you're bluffing

you don't have anything on me oh don't I

and by the way you're disgusting you

looked under my bed no I was bluffing

but I'm looking now stupid

oh hey hey hey I'm trying to nap and if

you do k*ll each other the rest of my

days paperwork Laura went to a frat

party after mom said she couldn't have

Oh Brian said I had to be a sl*very tell

oh so all that lovey-dovey stuff was

just crap you know your mother's gonna

lose it if she finds out you've both

been lying to her dad are you gonna tell

her no really I'm sure your mother

doesn't need to know it's more important

to me that there be a bond between the

three of us an understanding that you'll

be insulating the Attic by yourselves

because you're now both mice Quran and

by the way the job pays ten dollars an

hour which you'll be paying me so work

fast that was funny laughs late

[Music]

can anyone tell me who has the right of

way in a four-way stop sign oh oh again

dr. Miller yeah and four-way stop sign

you should always yield to the car on

your right unless of course you are

being blocked by an iceberg that is

melting due to global warming very good

next up is our safety video broken

windshields broken lives what's up well

I'm glad you could all make it you do

know this class has a hard start time

yeah I know it's a hard start fun why we

had hard time getting here silly well

after all what what different through a

few 45 minutes actually make can we done

the lights I am I hope you're gonna

behave yourself in the dark Mr Gruber

were you in an accident because your

airbags are inflated what is the big

deal like stuck in a couple falsies I

think it makes the dress look better my

pops it takes up your Posse don't you

could get a little carried away

pretending to be someone you're not oh I

don't know dr. Miller okay here we go

Linda come sit back here with us okay oh

my friends want me to put them all right

have some respect it's just traffic

school I'm sorry since the what happened

again ouch that's gotta hurt do you mind

some of us are trying to learn something

some of us are trying to learn something

I'm sorry some of us are trying to learn

something okay can you keep it down if

someone has a dr alerts up it would seek

to let you guys know

[Laughter]

[Music]

Brian why you and Lauren turn the

insulation don't leave any ragged edges

I want your mother to think I do quality

work in your colon Thank You Tina and

school we talked about how we help

around the house I'll be gaining a call

I don't hear the pitter-patter of little

sl*ve feet we're taking a break if the

Egyptians took a break they never would

have finished that pyramid in Las Vegas

by the way I'm taking a break tonight

when dad's asleep I'm gonna rub every

one of his beer bottles on my ass enjoy

your ass beer my friend that's right

drink up oh we wouldn't even be here if

you had blackmailed me after I totally

trusted you yeah like you're so innocent

what are you talking about okay like a

like the other night when I picked you

up from the party yeah won't it it

really hurt that you made me pick you up

a block away you were nowhere near the

frat house you were standing under a

sign that said betzalel Senior Center

okay Beth is a friend of mine and she is

a senior in college okay I'm not the

dumb one remember are you dad a shame to

be seen with me am I really that much of

a geek oh so that's what this is about I

hurt your feelings yeah you did you know

here I was doing something that I

thought was nice and then I ended up

feeling bad about myself i I'm sorry I

made you feel like a geek but I wasn't

ashamed of you I was just embarrassed

that I I needed my big brother to come

pick me up for my first college party

really yeah I would have felt the same

way even if you were cool

[Laughter]

if that makes sense good you know you

shouldn't be embarrassed to call me

anytime you need thinking oh I'll come

to your rescue Thanks no just like when

the Human Torch rescue Sue Storm from

Victor Von Doom you really don't get

this whole gay thing yeah hey isn't this

mom's old karaoke machine yeah she loves

that thing not as much as dad hated it

remember he told her it was stolen oh my

god you know what this means yes that

the scenes must have put it up here or

dad lied and put it up here to hide it

from mom which means if she found it

she'd be very upset with them which

means we finally found a way to burn dad

Human Torch style flame on I'm really

trying to be nice to you here

okay so it's decided we'll call

ourselves the amigos who Jesus who could

invite Tammy into the group yeah um

Timmy's not really a mica material but

you can tell her we're considering her

and make her guests clapping oh that's

dr. Miller she looks great I'll be right

back are you doing being all beautiful I

mean you feel like a loser so I figured

if you can't b*at him show Judy you

can't see the pot for the one I called

it how is your syllabi with a doctor go

be a doctor okay I will Oh doctor I

worked at number one hey dr. Miller come

sit with us well looky looky I get to be

room you can be lucky day you want to

get amigo Linda says we're all coughing

at seven o'clock to goof on the teacher

you want in mm-hmm I get a better idea

let's not cough at seven o'clock and

goof on Linda okay let's get started

everybody please take your seat there's

one right here

of course through so anyone tell me

which way you turn your wheels when

you're parking uphill Linda well um I

was out late last night so I kind of

read the manual I don't think that's a

very good excuse wow are you right what

the correct answer is away from the car

very good dr. Miller and once again Wow

let me see Nick I don't see your name on

it go find another one or better yet go

get us some lucky adios amigo could you

please take your seat would you like a

seat Lawson really if you need medical

attention perhaps the lovely dr. Miller

he's not a doctor okay see a dental

assistant her job is to throw away used

gloss she was a DS student and the only

way she got through high school would

buy copping off me okay i am the smart

one she's just faking it

speaking of faking

I'll take my DS over your A's hey what

are you two doing down here we're done

with being your slaves then I guess I

better go have a little word with your

mother well be sure to tell me that we

found a karaoke machine what the the one

that was stolen oh give it up dad we

know you should it oh well you got me I

guess I better go finish the Attic on my

own it's not up there we moved it well

looks like you kids b*at me at my own

game unless of course I have a Tr*mp

card what are you talking about you're

not gonna give it that machine back why

not cuz you don't want to singing any

more than I do she's terrible when she

sings angels d*ed remember karaoke night

he's right would you think I will

survive we totally did amateurs back to

work my slaves up no I'm not backing

down dad to hell with the consequences

nothing can be worse than being stuck in

an attic

[Music]

I thought you said you hit it we did I

mature you don't just me i'm bringing

back karaoke night oh darn well we got

to go back up to the attic and finish

our work yeah we've been to get up there

we oh I'm coming with you

[Music]

we're going to need more installation

[Applause]

[Music]