04x12 - Still Decorating

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Still Standing". Aired: September 30, 2002 - March 8, 2006.*
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
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04x12 - Still Decorating

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

isn't anyone gonna make dinner around

here I'm starving right there yeah go

ahead how okay that's that we have to go

get dad yeah ever since Kyle polski

moved in next door all that does is goof

off of that big stupid bridge guy house

not so bad thank you only liked him

because he bought a thousand dollars

with a Girl Scout cookies call me badge

hey I bet he still has some cookies left

of course he does wait dad has been over

there for a few hours come on we better

hurry 70-inch plasma biggest one they

make she's a beauty only problem is when

I recline I can't see it so I had

another one built into the ceiling ah

gotcha Bulls great flick they pull a

Kn*fe you pull a g*n he sends one of

your saw the hospital yushan one of his

to the more that's the Chicago away

Bieber that is the worst Katharine

Hepburn I have ever heard hey Dad way to

interrupt your little play date with

Kyle but we're hungry and abandoned yeah

you are so dead when mom finds out that

you've been spending all your time over

your slacking off while she's at work

she is going to be so steamed wow you

are right Kyle the alcohol really does

come right out of your pores

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

that's leftover Chinese a can with no

label and some moldy cheese what was

that made me vomit okay piri I think I

found the perfect fabric for her couch

you know when you come back from reno

this weekend we'll just leave me get

look me home honey it's our support

anniversary wait what sounds like

trouble you know I did have a feeling

that marriage wouldn't last six months

it would be sad if I didn't bet on it

pay up not the doors that if they make

it one more week you owe me 50 bucks

jerk so called husband is coming home

for our anniversary you know what I

kinda with him hey marriage is hard the

key is to get past the first six months

after that divorce away hey don't listen

to her you know cut your losses scuba

don't cut it out and do enough gambling

later when you eat whatever this is

what's Perry's excuse now oh cuz you

can't come back from Reno cuz his band

keeps selling out he's in a plug cover

band they sold out long ago we keep

adding extra shows and he's just so busy

he never comes home he barely returns my

phone call that is not good you need to

talk a marriage cannot survive without

communication where's my dinner wife

shut it okay if I feel like I'm the only

one putting any effort into this

relationship you know I mean I've been

trying to redecorate our apartment for

months to make a hole for us but Perry

doesn't seem the least bit interested if

he won't come to you for your

anniversary why don't you just go to him

yeah I like that okay hey honey it's me

listen good news um I want to come to

reno okay okay great he said he's too

busy and told me not to come am I so

undesirable that my husband doesn't want

to be in the same city with me again

shut it I was just gonna say whatever

you're cooking is starting to smell like

tar oh damn crappy crap

duty are you doing I thought you're

coming with me to a fabric store to

return my samples oh I'm sorry when I

said yeah right I meant yeah right I've

been very busy I don't have time to goof

around with you sir madam your root beer

floats already hey Linda this is your

first visit to polski manner Barry Chuck

etv after my third divorce I decided I

was building my life exactly the way I

want how's that working out for you Kyle

I happen to be very lonely hey I don't

think the girls would love this place at

least the ones who have gone wild yeah

and after five years of being single

sort of got a little tired of that kind

of girl nice to attract a more grown-up

woman well Kyle perhaps it would help if

you live to like a grown-up I mean was

it about guys who have some aversion to

adults furniture would I k*ll you to buy

a sofa I have a sofa right here well you

might want to consider classing up your

activate or you might end up with a

woman you also have to blow up I know

anything about furniture got a classy

lady like you coffee yes I have acquired

a certain riddles igual um perhaps i

would put a sectional over here and

perhaps a nice tasteful armoire over

here so you'd help me yeah why not no I

was gonna read you my place but since

that's not happening why don't I bring

over my swatches and get busy fellas get

busy I mean let's do it I mean let's

have sectional

[Applause]

football time at Kyle's house do not

know every Sunday I get soused all the

dude on the couch where's the TV did I

come on the wrong do today no I uh got

rid of the TV and decided to put a pain

there uh at least we can still watched

it ah ah chandelier why I'm just helping

me redecorate why so I can settle down

need a better quality of woman why I

know you have issues with Linda but I

like these changes if you really are my

friend you will support me on this

absolutely if this is what makes you

happy I'll support you a hundred percent

we gotta k*ll Linda what for this time

she's ruining Kyle she's redoing this

house and making him grow up to meet a

decent woman maybe that's a good thing

we can't live like a child forever ping

pong table gone ceiling TV gone not home

steam room gone Medellin

where's that going how'd you get rid of

a few things skee-ball machine I'm 50

tickets away from winning the giant kool

Bell it's Kyle's house obviously he's an

adult and he can built the tanning bed

link arms with me we're not letting it

out we needed to get rid of something to

make room for you or more I know what we

can get rid of well bad news I can't go

with you to the bulls game tonight what

why cuz i'm taking a wine-tasting class

with linda instead ruin our ruiner of

man well don't be like that so you and

Kyle are going to a wine tasting class

yeah well the other night well we're at

dinner I picked out a bottle of wine if

you really enjoyed so after the movie

wait wait dinner and a movie so we

really like spending time with each

other yeah it's called dating there's

only one problem with it you're married

and believe me if you could date other

people while you were married my entire

calendar would be filled Judy I'm just

redecorating it's fun and Kyle likes my

ideas okay Linda you're doing this

because you're upset with Perry you need

to confront him about why he is shutting

you out of his life instead of flirting

with another guy relax I am NOT flirting

with kylo just you know was all set to

nest with Perry but he's not around so

now I'm doing it with Kyle I'll just

remember this is not your house and kyle

is not your husband your husband said to

put this in the guest room oh my god

this is like in the big goof so it goes

in our bedroom

where's Kyle signing for drapes I have

to look away he's only happening because

that bonehead Perry's been out of town

for so long look I know you sh*t this

down or earlier we are not k*lling my

sister I bet Harriet be here in a second

if he thought Kyle and Linda were

fooling around maybe someone could make

an anonymous caller we know that would

be a terrible thing to do oh look i just

wrote perry's number down in reno I just

dropped some change and on a side note

there's a pay phone on the corner you

could walk to I'm starting to lose faith

in this plan I'll Drive you genius let's

go Linda Perry come back and Reno you

talk to you lean down for this door but

I have I gone up in this door is open

where's my wife did you check your

apartment of course I've neglected my

precious treasure now I said she's been

stolen from me she might be at Kyle's

house next door Kyle polski where's that

bastard live once again right next door

don't sweep her off her feet yeah i'm

off to reclaim my woman my last chance

of happiness and that car will paint a

lot he's done he will pay by the way

he's a snow globe from Reena chat later

great sounds like he's really gonna

fight to get Linda back that's 50 bucks

bad news for you Brian oh really well

did you happen to see the bouquet

carnations I don't think so ha gay son

is right Harry's gonna need some help

you were right about him I'm not gay

period but for the record who didn't

notice they were carnation Oh what have

we here we've got guarded yeah well I

haven't Scotchgard in my heart which has

been stained by your deceit that is a

fantastic lyric boy wine face you got

pencil yeah I got an anonymous call from

someone who said you'd taken up with

Kyle so I got on the first plane back to

tell you that I love you and I'll be

lost without you hey you flew all the

way back here to prove your love because

you thought I was cheating on you I just

want nothin oh really Carrie I mean you

wouldn't come home for anniversary being

suddenly show up to throw around some

crazy accusation come on Linda material

cozy on the couch which has made scotch

guarded like my heart which is gamma put

a balloon believe it was stained by your

deceit Jerry we're just taking a wine

class together okay there's nothing

going on I take my vows very seriously

you're the one who's got some secret

library knows I can't even be part of

well I heard from a very reliable source

it's sunny with a Mitch here reliable

source Katharine Hepburn Katharine

Hepburn that was a dead on Sean Connery

Perry your wife is sleeping with Kyle

polski

I said too much

[Music]

wow you know it actually looks like

Linden Perry gonna break up that's too

bad i really like Perry not as much as I

like 50 bucks I wouldn't start a bidding

on a lightsaber just yet in fact why

don't we make this bed a little more

interesting I'm listening if you lose

you have to make out with whoever I open

this year book too okay but if you lose

you have to make out with whoever I open

your book to deal you go first all right

aha you have to make that with me d

do-over haha Nelson Dimmick the kid with

the laminated Hall Pass because of a

special bathroom me

this is fell see the cafeteria lady

where does the five avoid kissing around

fajita Friday leave me and go for

Dimmick Linda sweetie we need to talk

what's the point Harry really loves you

you should go and what this out with him

I know Judy I mean our marriage was

already in trouble even before Sean

Connery got involved and he avoids me

for months and then March is in here

makes a big scene it was romantic the

only time bill ever swept me off my feet

was when I almost stepped on a peanut

butter cup don't tell me you love him

and that nothing happened between you

and Kyle nothing happen right no no no

mmm not really not really well somethin

mighta sorta kind of could happen but

you know Harry barged in and now I'll

never know what are you talking about

there was a feeling he felt you up Oh

crazy I'm a married woman you felt him

oh I was just sitting there drinking my

wine in my dream living room with a guy

who actually wants to spend some time

with me I can't say it wasn't tempting I

think it was taken up with Kyle are you

I don't know it depends on Perry go to

him girl he's waiting for you right now

I'm gonna go take a shower don't use all

the hot water I think we might have

broken up my sister's marriage for a

stupid steam room this is terrible

nothing's gonna happen between Kyle and

Linda he's used to strippers and bimbos

he's not gonna lower his standards just

a date Linda isn't so I hate to see

you're hurting like this we need to talk

to Perry and fix this if anyone can show

them what love is it's up Judy now it's

just a wrapper

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh sh**t sir listen Perry bills real

sorry about the phone call is the sooner

he thought was best in someone else's

voice you see this wallpaper she's got

my melinda love to have made a home

without you still can it's not too late

to save your marriage I can't compete

with a guy like Kyle when is rich and

it's here and it's been married several

times before so it's obviously good at

it we don't you put yourself down you're

a big rock star in Reno you got your own

Foghat cover band you stand on stage

night after night playing slow ride and

that other hit I'm not a rock star I'm a

fraud course yer is that the real foggy

yet did you think you were the real song

no I have a secret shame and it's the

reason I hadn't wanted Linda to come and

visit Perry nothing you've done will

stop Linda from wanting you back I'm not

this is how I've been spending my nights

Harry what are you doing here Linda

Perry has something to tell you that

might not be easy for you to hear but

please keep an open mind I come to be

brave Linda darling I hope you can

forgive me my Foghat cover band got

fired and I've had to do something

desperate to make money you join the

Coast Guard apparently it was that

mobile

[Music]

tinka mee very good whenever some swings

talking Jack comes along to Menace our

home don't mess around you just gotta be

strong again you're the captain in a

captain and Tennille tribute band now

you know my secret shame and Reno's

public shame well you couldn't tell me

you don't be less of me I couldn't think

what is you none of us could vary honey

I don't care about any of that my love

for you has nothing to do with which

classic 70s bands you cover don't have

to shut me out of your life okay someday

your looks will be gone when the others

turn you'll be turning you on who's not

well out we all grow

[Music]

goat dulce yes you are you look very

pretty today especially with that bit of

stewed tomato on your bosom lose a bet

Wow let's get this over with i got 3,000

by Enis

okay I'll be right

[Music]

I way

[Applause]
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