04x13 - Still Flunking

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Still Standing". Aired: September 30, 2002 - March 8, 2006.*
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
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04x13 - Still Flunking

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

yeah yeah thanks for the call Johnny I'm

sure everything will be fine have a safe

flight what's wrong Johnny's flying to

Japan tonight but your grandmother

staying in town his uncle's have an

emergency surgery oh my god that's

terrible Nana has free time I mean she's

gonna want to come over and she's gonna

blow us into doing old people stuff like

playing cribbage are watching The Love

Boat talking about the old days and

everything was made of wood okay don't

panic this could all be a drill right

Josh probably be through the wrong hey

um we're just going to clean out the

garage like you're asked us to oh it is

so sweet wait a minute my kids are sweet

damn them to hell what a nice surprise

we want johnny's out of town didn't

anyone tell you know nobody said

anything and we have a system in place

for that well plug knows you've got you

for the whole week and I hope you're

ready to spice up your wardrobe because

I brought it's our buttons and a glue

g*n just sh**t glue huh

you

[Music]

[Applause]

Oh what's the shirt man and I have been

spicing up my wardrobe luck man so here

no she just left we spent the entire

afternoon charting the family tree she

had to say your father's the most

accomplished Miller and nine generation

I'm sorry we did just ahead on you oh

honey it's no big deal when it comes to

Nana everyone's got to do what you got

to do Oh Cooper its name I thought you

said she left the room oh geez Louise

Lauren loves your purse she wants to

learn how to make one oh well I would be

delighted to teach you did you know that

needle pointing was invented during the

plague to distract people from their

sufferings really interesting i'm sure

mom would would you like some buttons on

my shirt

sorry I've been in the garage all day

I'm having a hell of a time change in

that oil filter stop fixing the cars

pawned your mother off on Lawrence this

is chocolate the worst day of my life a

bit I am calling the school that

football team is going to stop picking

on you it's not the football team is it

basketball season no I'm failing gym

failing yeah it's not my fault coach

stone is making everyone climb this

stupid m*llitary wall or we fail it's

completely unfair I'd say so what's that

kid in the wheelchair supposed to do

actually he made it over don't think you

didn't let everyone know rolling around

all day like a hotshot I and if you fail

gym you won't graduate it says here you

mr. it colorful yes because I was needed

in my linguistics Club we're inventing a

new language and come on rome wasn't box

cheated at waffle wait a minute

brookstone he's your gym teacher I know

him you do yeah from high school stone

the bone we played football together

Brian your problems are solved I'll talk

to my old buddy get him off your back

you you don't have to do that day no no

it'll be great to rehash old times oh no

crying I've never said this before but

your father could be a big help okay I

just hope you can reason with them you

know Coach stones a name wall could be

the literal and metaphorical okay you

know what enough with the made-up word

[Music]

Canady for your shows little

announcement next to Marty rubik pending

lawsuit dodgeballs been bad luckily I

invented a new game happy joy ball same

rules as dodgeball but you play with

this hey coach stone yeah meet Bill

Miller class of 81 and 82 and the summer

of 83 you remember we did we play

varsity together i was starting middle

linebacker you rack up middle linebacker

you b*at me out for that spot I'll don't

blame yourself the cream rose to the top

and I see it settled back down to the

middle careful you're scuffing my floor

with your speech you I'm sorry sorry so

so buddy I came to ask you a favor it's

for my son Brian wait a minute you're

Brian miller's father you smart bright

moment why not logical father yeah I

think so well don't knows anyway yeah

it's about this wall Brian's really

having a tough time with it and he's

worried he gonna fail him oh look I just

want to push him a little bit bride's a

good kid he doesn't have to make it over

as long as he tries help us ah thanks

all funny no problem yeah I tell Brian I

could bring you around good old stone

the bone haven't heard that name in 20

years you know I came up for that

nickname that was you I hated that

nickname try to ruin dry skin for me oh

that's not so bad you better often the

guy I call her fat jerk that was me to

text oh yeah I was the jerk and the bone

turf on that's perfect later Trista

thanks a lot Miller you know you always

worth jackass Wow come on we had fun in

high school you remember that skinny kid

we used to give swirlies all the time

that guy has the right to hold a grudge

again me a lot of memories a lot of good

times thanks for thanks for helping my

son you know what Miller I changed my

mind wouldn't be fair to treat your kid

differently either he climbs that wall

or he fails wait a minute wait a minute

you're only saying that because you

don't like me this is classic bill

miller's son is a wuss back well now

I've got you by the things you shaved

while your friends held me down let's

get two things straight my son is not a

wuss bag and that prank wild gay was

funny you know what else is funny if

your son doesn't make it over that wall

he gets a big fat ass that's right

Miller I rule this school now well

Bryan's gonna make it over that wall cuz

I'm gonna train it and when he does I'm

gonna do a victory dance goes a little

something like this hey hey hey

oh that's good you're building at the

callous see that Charlie dead of all

feeling how wish I were hey guys let's

give me Lauren a needlepoint listen well

don't mind me and it's gonna make myself

quick cup of tea oh don't drink that

spittle there beside you don't

want to hurry tea Johnny introduced me

to the Japanese tea ceremony and it's

very spiritual that was interesting

Louise you hear that nan she wants to

learn all about it well we better head

on over to the Japanese market now they

have a lot of skittish birds there dear

so you might want to wear half ah no no

no no I don't want to put you out Louise

I mean you're so busy with Lauren Lauren

boy hey there he is my big guy you get a

chance to talk to coach stone no but I

have some fantastic news got me at a gym

better you have to climb that wall if

you don't you fail what how is that

fantastic Ryan I went in there I looked

at that puny wall and I thought my son

is selling himself short I believe in

you no no you don't you never have an

account on that all you need is the

right guy training and that guy please

don't say you please don't you mean

Thank guys going on I decided to help my

son tackle that wall I know he's got it

in in the millers of climbers except

socially and financially I know I

haven't been much help with book stuff

but athletics is my specialty I know I

can help you get there Brian so you

really think I can do this yeah you're

like Rudy who's Rudy who's Rudy it's a

classic football movie about a scrappy

little guy who has the power to overcome

anything start that Sean Astin guy from

Lord of the Rings Samwise Gamgee of the

Shire you guys really think I have the

strength of a hobbit okay I'm gonna go

put a my gym shorts and my traveling

clothes I just watched it on it should

be in your jammies

alright champ this is it there she is

Brian just waiting to be mounted you get

on top of her you'll finally be a man

same time Rudy

[Music]

so how am i doing dad okay positive all

you probably won't hurt yourself all

right let's bring the arms into it one

two three if i want to go to for next

time come on you're the man hey Lisa you

can do it Brian I the tiger

I'll be doing the kid has the upper body

strength of a newborn I believe in yet

way to go brother cooksey IV climb a

wall faster than him I boy may be the

underdog but he's gonna surprise you ok

this is getting sad look I don't feel

right about failing your son just

because you're a jackass so he can pass

gym if he enrolls in square dancing like

the other respects no chance in hell

square dancing for girls and my son is

not a girl okay does anybody have any

our cocoa butter anything people come on

and so ends the clay cha part of the

ritual that was laughing and now we move

on to our two of the ceremony where we

purify the teacup the Chowan say it with

me chauhan charge one come on lobe

that's fun nice try crying feeling any

better oh yeah you just need to walk it

off walk it off filia had to carry him

up to stare I'm all for you making a man

out of Brian but I'm not sure there's a

man in there at this point I'd settle

for a tough lesbian you know what you

did your best maybe it's time to call

coach stone and get him to let Brian off

the hook yeah that's not really an

option anymore

why not cuz that kicked off coach stone

by stepping up his floor in nicknaming

him jerk though now Brian's only hope

for passing gem is to take square

dancing with all the other nerds move it

okay how do you know all this I have

been stayin late it's cool to avoid Nana

did you know that after school they have

clubs for people who are actually into

stuff it's like a whole different world

after two o'clock little school end at

three hey I'm not the one on trial here

so that's what this is all about how you

picked a fight with coach stone and

brian has to suffer for well you know

what I'm calling that school and signing

him up for square dance juvie hey Dad I

really do appreciate all the help that

you've been trying to give me but think

it's time for me to throw in the towel

which I would do if I could lift one are

you sure you want to give up some yeah

oh I think it's time for you to call

your old friend coach stone and get him

to let me off the hook now yeah I kind

of over estimated that friendship turns

out he hates me I thought you never even

talked to him I tried but he was a jerk

he's still jealous that I made first

string and he couldn't cut it plus I

kinda had shaved his privates what

yesterday no

20 years ago but he won't let it go ah

dad I can't believe it's your own

everything don't you worry Brian i just

made a phone call to school and signed

you up for square dancing what why did

you do that so that you could pass him

the square as his Lane you Muslim stuff

not this flame you cried when we took

you out of tap dancing class okay yes

cap fine okay ballroom bring it tango

it's off at square dance me don't insult

my feet oh come on it's just a few

classes yeah and a recital everyone sits

in the bleachers and then they Pelt the

dancers with garbage the hottest ticket

of the year I have a hard time believing

that mom signed me up for square dancing

I could just throw garbage at bright

pink I hope you're happy now thanks to

you I gotta take square dancing and I

have to pass it how am I ever gonna

learn the routine in time for the

recital did someone mention square

dancing yes yes yes I heard it to help

the boy Cheech and everything you know

Louise you can square dance too I told

you i'm a member of a senior square

dancing group the hoop hammers it's a

wonderful fabulous work out here Judy

feel nice i go on give it a good grade

on don't be shy free Billy want to feel

my square dancing time oh I don't see

down

[Music]

cowboy yah just be done with a rod we go

wonderful come on a rail grab your

gallant everybody fails never forgive me

ever

mine was right this is a hot ticket and

I'm starting to get why I didn't think

anything could have piqued his science

fair and yet here we are hey guys come

to throw trash at your brother no I am

here to show Brian my support what's in

the bag little trash I picked up from

our friend give a host up loose born I

told you no phone garbage at your

brother but mom all my friends are doing

it

fine but nothing harder than a Kiwi this

blows I look like how do you freaking

duty oh yeah you look like woody in toy

story you so cool nine years ago

I'm sorry it came to this son in the end

you'll get through it and you'll always

be my son why aren't you looking at me

penny I don't know you hey brother what

are you doing here I'll come see the

girls dance you may have the upper hand

now but 22 years ago I take your butt

cheeks together another questionable

memory yes but I'll always happen well

you keep living in the past but you know

in your heart that I'm now the better

man you're a gym teacher you sell

toilets stop how do you this is about me

passing gym it's not about some stupid

fight that started 20 years ago so

everybody needs to stop interfering in

my life is to position that's you son

the hell it is stand back Hobbit time

y'all go to the wall you can do it son

or young man I just met depending on how

that goes

[Music]

[Applause]

who's to us back now if you can't find

it so proud of you that's my son Oh God

guys I I can't get down I'm terrified of

heights coming over there that's that's

my son

[Music]
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