04x17 - Still Coaching

[bunniefuu]

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come on ball play some D hey how was

practice great we came up with a name

for Tina's basketball team I want to

call it the big ball really because I

plays a big ball we went with two

Raptors whatever I like big ball yeah

well and no fun when you're horseback

riding you know I'm really glad I got

dragged into coach and Tina's basketball

team it's been great spending a little

extra timeless is she's growing up so

fast you don't wanna look back and feel

you missed out our first game is on

Saturday yeah I'm gonna miss that really

have to go i just bought the NBA sports

package i'm not wasting my Saturday's

watching a bunch of midgets run circles

made that mistake once without lord of

the rings were with

I miss the whole NBA season it's only

for six weeks aren't your children worse

at least that way

[Applause]

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[Applause]

Lord Jesus gettin better hey you said

we're going to see Jordan play yeah

there she is Tina's friend Jordan you

specifically said Michael Jordan oh yeah

that was a lie hey check out the other

teams coach Ted Halverson that pompous

jerk some people shouldn't have children

that's a little harsh I'm at me so I

wouldn't have to be here looking at Ted

house I'm going across the street to buy

a beer bring a beer in here can if it's

in my stomach how Arsene Miller mrs.

Halvorsen Miller spending a Saturday

supporting your kids activities what

happened sulfur b*rned down don't even

joke about I just happen to be here to

watch Tina's team kick your teams but

yeah well it's not about winning it's

about having fun ah smoking like a loser

from Loserville Louisiana thank your ex

for losers bill we're not going to get

his tales of oil has not as competitive

now that he's using the techniques he

learned in anger management is the only

way the league would give me one more

sh*t at coaching disagree with a call

last year and I may have overreacted a

little bit tipped over a few trash cans

and a minivan and while I did apologize

and paper the damage my video tape did

prove that the rep was wrong about that

call suppose of pretty flowers

reach in your pocket and rub your worry

stone

children here it's a relaxation tool I

agree but still there are children mommy

when can i play I'll push you in the

fifth quarter when is that that's when

you get the court all Cheers Judy's a

great coach the Raptors and tear in

those twinkle fairies a new twinkle no

I'm gonna lose a bundle keep that on the

game and got some action going number

twelves brother Zack and I got a tip on

the next game the Red Devil Center

forgot to take her Ridland hey third

quarter he Halverson do i hear a vacuum

cleaner or is that just the sound of

your team sucking Miller you could take

your attitude and you can shove head

field of clover everyone's a winner when

they try their best Judy's team is very

good all that time she spent watching

sports instead of her children is really

paying off it is well I guess this means

the Raptors have a good sh*t at the

regional playoffs haha I sure I'm going

to miss the fix for six weeks of games

well 1x or six weeks that's along the

post season lasts six weeks yeah so much

fun riding on the bus with a kid during

the sing-alongs paying a toenail to team

colors ha ha ha sing-alongs Tony six

weeks ok Miller don't rub it in

I'll play without my shoes because

you're important don't wear what a

good choice we've got to make sure the

Raptors lose and by at least six points

that's the spread Zach gave me know the

Raptors get to the playoffs jubie's

gonna make me go then I can kiss my

whole NBA cable package goodbye and what

the Raptors the loose foot tinea she's

like the Clown Prince of basketball big

it's not your place to make fun of my

lame-o daughter that's that great idea

when Tina gonna play in the car ride

home with her game boy this game's not

just about winning it's about having fun

have you seen Tina play it's not fun

that bad hey Tina heads up

[Music]

Lauren I brought my kitty over to meet

you I thought you and Perry weren't

leaving for Hawaii until next month yeah

well if you're gonna kitty sit boo boo I

wanted to get a chance to know you

because she's very attached over Bobby

isn't she oh honey I let you if you can

meet your cousin Laurie cousin just go

with it she's very sensitive about being

adopted she also sensitive about that

whole costume you made her wear for

halloween we're having a krabby Webbie

day honey you're not gonna come out for

me she's chilly not yet come up no oh

she's so sweet oh she's obviously

disoriented money for example catch you

later get off the phone with the league

reps the Cougars loss which means the

rafters are three wins away from going

to the play oh you gotta be so proud I

heard Ted Halverson lost another player

there was a kitty bake oven accident

she'll be okay she'll never have

fingerprints again you gonna do no it's

gonna have to drop out of the league you

have to have seven girls it's probably

for the best they were never gonna make

the playoff never make the playoffs oh

poor Halverson you know you don't want

to be a nice thing to do give them one

of your players serious well you can

spare one and then the twinkle fairies

could at least play out this season

here's a thought given Tina what I

treating my own daughter but you barely

put her in the game

that's why you should give it a

Halverson she'll probably get to play

more and you won't feel bad for benching

all the time and don't worry I'll go to

all the rest of Tina's games however

many are left 3 right and you can just

focus on coaching your team well you

know the decision should really be up to

her Gina I accidentally ate a box of

cookies honey the twinkle fairies

assured a couple of players and I was

wondering if you've considered joining

him so they could finish out the season

it would be a really nice thing to do so

i have to leave mommy's team oh not if

you don't want to baby i understand if

you'd be uncomfortable being away from

mommy they get cupcakes after games I'm

it

[Applause]

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Tina let's check it to those losers in a

healthy non-competitive way testing is

really improved since you made her point

guard yeah how the hell that happened

well Judy just had her playing out of

position I found her strength and they

gave her motivation I told her if she

didn't deliver I'd let the evil clown

out of sewer he's just kidding right Ted

you bet oh my great aunt Anna Wow if we

play t no more we might have a sh*t to

playoffs what no no you can't do that

why not cuz it's not fair let some of

the other players have a chance it's

like the one with asthma or unicorn girl

here I'm not a unicorn today I'm a

butterfly the thieves stay on the bench

I'm the coach when you're the coach you

can make the calls hatred k did you know

who won the last game Snowbell how much

oh come on think ah eight point people

I'm gonna have to go away

someone family could I love them foul on

purple number seven what are you crazy

I'm sir I politely disagree with that

call she pushed the other play dad I

guess I guess that call was totally

bogus don't wuss out now Alison take the

callback wrath sir step back make him

yeah make me are you threatening me he's

not threatening you clover dead clover

yes you are what do you say about your

mama okay that's it you and me out in

the parking lot right now I hope you

brought a poncho cuz I'm gonna rain down

to hurt my friend get this jerk off by

toward it's not your court it belongs to

the children so innocent children you

better not start your car tonight Eddie

pretty flowers always peaceful cookies

my money okay I'm the coach now Tina

you're out butterfly girl you're in even

better

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Oh Lord like my heart is it ripped from

my chest so just another day huh Lulu

ran away I have no idea where she my ID

user going crazy is there a cat in here

you know what of a chat my skin is on

fire if there's not a cat and that weird

exchange student really did put a curse

on me what God you stole them no I

didn't I news that saucers milk for me

[Music]

listen I didn't want you to feel bad but

last night she showed up at my bedroom

window crying for me to let her in oh

really ok you expect me to believe that

she jumped out of my bedroom window I

made her way across town in the freezing

rain just to get away from me well you

didn't have a boyfriend who did that hey

how was your game one too bad you didn't

stick around to watch it yeah Tina's

team got slaughtered and those kind of

depressed drop it bill I saw you

provoking Ted's you could be coaching

bench Tina you're trying to loose you

could watch your stupid NBA package

aren't you well you have all the answers

don't you all the answers are you saying

I'm wrong no unbelievable you'd rather

undermine your daughter self-confidence

and crush the spirit of the team

halftime they show NBA bloopers it's

called who swoops

ashamed to yourself now I'm your coach

and Tina's team to win and if I sense

anything less than that i'm signing her

back up for calf dance oh god no I won't

go back to those recycles I won't you

win and this year they're bringing into

noise and the she is the game the

Sphinx first my cat know my husband the

husband peed on your carpet look I don't

want to spend any time with me Perry

just called he can't go to Hawaii he's

got to work I've got an extra ticket no

one to go with him in it did I just hear

the words Hawaii extra ticket no one to

go with those were all the words you the

honeymoon I never have I never had one

anymore all my tobe grade which land the

beach drink mai tais order room service

it'll be the perfect honeymoon no us Oh

the tickets are nonrefundable okay great

the middle of peewee playoff won't make

you won't make the playoffs no they're

really good I taught I'm how to be

pointers to backside like an ocean view

suite in a full spa package okay Raptors

before we play this game remember once a

women isn't everything but if we don't

win this game we won't put in a playoff

hole odd speed cell

okay twinkle fairies make me proud get

out there and win James looking good

coke now thanks playing pretty Halverson

you know the rec department has a

restraining order on you yeah but not on

mr. Jenkins the grumpy old janitor don't

worry I'm not here to make trouble but

don't screw it up Hey ladies I just

mopped over there

[Applause]

yeah these are the other teams for I'm

what's going on you cheered when we

scored and you girls are eating pizza

door in a game a light snack double

cheese pepperoni the elephant

tranquilizer the pizza world you want to

lose oh I'm going to Hawaii with Linda

so you made me be a good coach and now

you're throwing the game that's a very

good point I'm going to think about it

while I'm Sunday been in Hawaii you

don't have to go to the playoffs neither

do i if anyone knows how to be a big

loser it's me oh ah cuz I got a secret

w*apon by point guards dog just d*ed or

at least that's what I'm going to tell

fine out time out spiller that's all we

do it trekking mother to my gym Tina

you're on the bench but I was just about

to score well give someone else a chance

Hannah you're in oh wait wait gimme

those okay Trudy you're in oh by the way

everyone on the team's invited to a

party at Madison's house after the game

except you Emily be a butterfly bu

butterfly filler you call that touching

your own my team get a deserve to be a

twinkle fairy hey call me okay listen

Syd why don't you stop the car tonight

Miller hey

[Music]

Wow rasters no time left on the clock

there were ten get two free throws oh

you do realize she's on your team Joe

you can do it Tina mommy believes in you

are you folks confused about the colors

of the uniforms

[Applause]

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okay crystal fairies win so looks Judy

didn't make the playoffs what are you

gonna do now huh gone to Hawaii how does

me daddy yes honey I am I really am that

was a great sh*t and you know what for

the next six weeks I'm gonna be the best

coach you've ever seen hang on six more

weeks miss more birthday parties uh I

quit with the twitter is that how I

raised you yeah you were listening

that's my girl Gina finally remember you

don't have to lose just don't win by

more than five points wear a wire

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would you have it any

way cause you mags me

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