04x20 - Still Graduating

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Still Standing". Aired: September 30, 2002 - March 8, 2006.*
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
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04x20 - Still Graduating

Post by bunniefuu »

Wow Brian graduating but you guys

thought this day would never come up and

after our three I thought it would never

end that speech Bryan made valedictorian

more like valedictorian hedonic snoring

haha terra bella d*ck for Ian we already

said that one will be in the car Oh Ryan

your speech was wonderful thanks aunt

Lena so what'd you guys think well to

tell you the truth it was kind of hard

to concentrate there was a woman next to

making fun of you with her hands I'm

signing for the hearing impaired I for

one was very moved by your speech when

you said that part about following your

dream it really spoke to me so tomorrow

I'm quitting my job to write my novel

well I didn't really mean can't wait to

read it um so mom I'm gonna go get some

of my math league buddies you can take a

picture of all of us okay honey did you

bring the camera why would I bring a

camera I know perhaps because it's the

most important day in your son's life

then it's kind of his responsibility to

bring the camera okay we're ready ok

guys get together not a camera phone no

okay everybody smile say bovine curd

coagulant G

oh I ask you / you people are terrible

so big day for Brian yeah lots of

emotion yep you feel any well I'll think

God me neither Emily I'm not the least

pit wait wait oh I feel something yup

here come the waterworks hey you can't

tell me all these people are that broken

up about their kid graduating and

leaving home hey guys yeah look at fitz

he's okay okay about what well that you

could graduate it and is leaving you

know going out into the world we all

knew was gonna happen sooner or later

it's little boy I just want a hold along

with time sunrise sunset

what's wrong with this bill are we

totally unemotional I don't know Judy I

cry every time I see that movie Rudy how

could you not they put him in for that

one last play he's five feet nothing for

God's sakes bud read nothing but he was

he was old hard hey mom and dad being

the guys are gonna go oh you too it was

gonna get just sooner or later um excuse

me I could you take a picture of me my

parents sure I'm on edge oh how do i

press anything

[Music]

okay guys I've got some big big news of

course given what you know about me you

won't really be surprised and the closet

door swings open I love you but I'm not

walking in any parades you know there's

a boy in choirs than asking about you

all right listen jackasses my news is I

got accepted into the summer program at

the University of Chicago I'll be moving

into the dorms in two weeks well come on

big kick can you believe I'm actually

gonna be moving out of the house great

I'll move out of my way thank you

seriously thank you all for preparing me

for a world filled with indifference you

know kind of think of it you may be a

little fussy for my choir fast I'm not

gay

wow he's really leaving well this is big

now let's take a minute and think what

this means for our family I get his room

no I did I called it first I thought

that that time you fell through the ice

and we thought he was a goner okay you

two stop it fine she can have it I'll

just stay in our room ha wait a minute

our rooms bigger recall that I believe

those two moving into Brian's room

before he's even left the house yeah

they're so selfish that'd be like us

taken over his room and building

ourselves a big master suite we'd never

do something like that well oh thank god

you want to do it too you know pits and

marry and have this great contractor we

can use okay what Brian's gonna think

that we don't even care about him moving

on and we do well think I've you don't

care either we just have to keep it a

secret from the kids hey can we have one

of those glass showers why want to watch

me so pop yes okay oh you do what I just

realized we could have separate toilets

no more leaving a sock on the door to

warn me to wait yeah would you guys mind

no I'm only gonna be 20 minutes away and

i'll be at home sleeping in my room

every other weekend trust me it'll never

be the same

[Music]

so you and your wife are contractors huh

I couldn't imagine doing that with my

husband the only thing I've ever seen

him hammer is a six-pack and even then

he got tired in the middle so Fitz and

Marion highly recommend you guys they

say you worked wonders for them and

they're happier than ever my husband and

I thought we could handle this on her

own but obviously we need professional

help I'm gonna have to call you back who

is that uh that was the Church of the

latter-day saints that's why i said i

would call them back ladder Judy did you

and make that appointment did I get your

ointment silly yes I got your ointment

right right right so when's the

appointment feeling with the ointment

guy don't blow this for us dummy

so you have an appointment with an

ointment guy it's a little personal

bride mom and dad are acting really

weird it's not an act no I'm it I heard

mom making some kind of appointment on

the phone with someone who was referred

to them by fits and Mary it's in Marion

yeah someone who worked wonders for them

and then then dad came in the room and

mom got all sneaky about it my god must

mean they're going on marriage counselor

marriage counseling yeah Fitz and Marion

went through that terrible separation

last year and I guess this person must

have helped them through it you really

think my mom and dad have a bad marriage

Oh we'll maybe your mom did yeah I've

been crying an awful lot lately well

Brian you know sometimes a big change

and the family structure can throw a

marriage into disarray it's pretty

obvious well they're upset about losing

me come been around much lately you

haven't been working on my novel no or

it could be me graduating and leaving

home Brian everything isn't always about

you i know i'm i'm pretty sure this is

though i just hate that it makes them so

unhappy than i'm leaving i think i'm

gonna go Susan no no no you can't they

obviously want to keep this thing

private they're very private people much

like the guarded couple in my novel

Guinevere and Pierre vonda bouche you

really should read it yeah I don't know

how about just the first chapter all

right how long is it 600 pieces okay

this is what I wanted to show you the

jacuzzi I put a down payment on who does

it fit too there's a room for you me and

enough extra room for my fantasy to come

true I'm not taking a bath with you and

a pot of chili I'm you gotta throw me

something here how about 20 years with

the woman out of your league how about a

pot of chili are you done yes I see

those steam shower Oh give me a paper

cut

one is there any of that alignment there

is no point mint we lied to pool Brian

I'm really in pain I am too i heard just

as bad as you'd minds deeper than yours

this is how I'm living in hell just give

it a little time I want to give it time

I want the pain to stop now all right

that's it mom dad I know what you guys

are trying to keep from me you do yes

you're all torn up about me moving out

we are dad you don't have to pretend

anymore I I can't stand to see you guys

in this much pain that's why I'm not

gonna do it I'm not moving out that's

right let it out you little bribri isn't

going anywhere

what do you mean you're not moving out

Ryan I'm not letting you put our dreams

on hold your dreams on hold don't worry

about it i can still go to college i can

just live at home we don't want to hold

you back you need to spread your wings

go out into the world and stay there are

you sure absolutely if you really think

so didn't guess I'm moving out that's

great son you should get an education

and find yourself a good woman someone

who loves you enough to take a bath with

you and a pot of chili but those women

are few and far between if they exist at

all

[Music]

k the contractors will be here any

minute ah good thinking you put on

something old and ratty so they won't

think we're rich in sokka's just bought

this yesterday you look pretty hey guys

hey punkin hell's she doing here lives

here still you hear all these stories

about kids running away and our house is

still packed don't worry I'll get rid of

her hey sweetie who wants to go shopping

long we already discussed this we're not

the gilmore girls okay not with me all

by yourself with my money awesome you

know you're not just a mom you're a

friend hi oh where you going mom just

gave me money to get out of the house

why I was gonna ask but I was already

leaving and I like money one listened

there's a reason why mom and dad have

been acting so weird why don't you sit

Brian I've seen the empties I know how

much they drink no I think mom and dad

are going through a tough time in the

marriage right now because I'm moving

out but but don't worry they're going to

couples therapy wow that's major what

are you talking about well when people

like mom and dad go to couples therapy

it's beginning of the end just like

Becca's parents couples therapy led to

group therapy which led to a cult which

led to orgies oh geez what mom and dad

yeah imagine how much the other people

would have to drink

oh that must be down a Melanie remember

we want to get into bed with these

people so don't do anything to turn them

off hey Miller's we're so glad we can

finally do this yeah we had to find a

time when none of the kids were home I

hear you don't want to freak the kids

out if they catch you doing this well

let's go up to the bedrooms and get busy

this has been a fantasy of mine for so

long that's why we're here and make

people's fantasies come true well these

are the two bedrooms okay great Melanie

you and Bill take that room and Judy and

I'll start in here then after that we'll

swap so your son doesn't have any idea

what we're doing up here no he thinks

we're all really sad about him leaving

can you imagine if he knew what was

really going on wow that is quite a

piece of equipment thanks you should

have seen the look on Melanie's face

first time she laid eyes on it so you're

gonna take pictures if you don't mind

these might end up on our website you

know to bring in new people well don't

get ahead of yourself I have to be

satisfied first

I'm sorry it's so small

okay I like a challenge oh hell I'm

ready for ya put your finger there a

little to the left further finger that's

the spot oh oh oh my back's starting to

cramp up oh that's okay finish on my own

don't you give danahan with your wife

okie dokie oh there you are good news I

have chapter to know what I gotta get

out of here I'm gonna be sick oh I have

a cure for you 700 pages of romance in a

leper colony it's called take my hand my

parents are soulless perverts they're

they're swingers swappers what have you

call him it's whoppers come on Brian I

find that unbelievable your mother may

be but your father thought of a guy up

there with my mom's makes you want to

march up there and open up a can of

punch face you guys are so great well I

was delighted about how flexible you are

Brian oh hi you must be there son we

were just in your bedroom I'm Dan all

right that's it pleased to meet you

Brian sorry I don't know all the wacky

handshakes you kids do let go of my hand

I'm kicking your ass you are why because

you're disgusting what are you doing

defending your honor and I want this

wife swap or out of our house wife

swappers they're not wife swappers

through contractors who are only here to

swap wives with us

don't blow this dumb Bell it's over Ryan

they're here to turn your room into a

master suite for us you're redoing my

room already all right we were gonna

wait until you actually moved out but

then a melanie was so hot this was the

only time they could do us how does a

misunderstanding like this even happened

I can't believe you don't even wait till

I'm out of the house you two are

heartless terrible people who never

think of anyone but yourselves but we're

not swappers Brian well I'm sorry about

the misunderstanding it's okay the real

irony here is that Melanie and I

actually are into shut it what a crazy

day Hey chapter three just wrote itself

all right put those down in the basement

this is so unfair we have to clean up

ryan's room and we don't even get it

yeah i am counting the days until i can

move away to college how many are left

see there's a hundred days in a year I

never gonna get my own room it's happier

65 hey guys so I guess this is the last

of it are you sure you're okay with us

change in your room like this yeah it's

okay I mean besides it to your house you

should be able to do what you want with

it uh and I'm really looking forward to

living in the dorms sex loud music

drinking games can't wait to leave all

that behind well if you miss it will be

here byob yeah you gotta go pick up my

dorm cash probably get going oh well

I'll see you around well our son just

left his room for the last time yep

starting to feel it nope me neither what

is wrong with us it's not like we're

never gonna see him again he'll only be

20 minutes away lets you know we'll come

back to play with a dog what dog the dog

I'm gonna buy Brian too yeah it'll be

nice to have a Brian who can catch a

ball when I throw it well we should

probably move this dresser this walls

coming down in the morning this thing

probably hasn't been moved in 15 years

[Music]

oh my god Ryan must have drawn that when

he was little

there won't baby sleeping

[Music]

hello lo I've been gone for over a month

does anybody care of course not

you

oh yeah I thought you guys are gonna

remodel this place yeah well we decided

we liked it just the way it was we want

you to still feel like you're part of

the family when you come home thanks

guys that that's really sweet what's

this Brian Miller all-state quarterback

of the year that made I'm not gonna be

here I'll remember you the way I want it

it's all right everyone at school thinks

you're a cardiologist a cardiologist

cool hear that Judy I'm dealing

blackjack

you

[Music]

Wow Brian graduating but you guys

thought this day would ever come up and

after our three I thought it would never

end that speech Bryan made valedictorian

more like valedictorian dhanak snoring

how the d*ck for Ian we already said

that one will be in the club Ryan your

speech was wonderful thanks aunt Lena so

what'd you guys think well to tell you

the truth it was kind of hard to

concentrate there was a woman next to

making fun of you with her hands I'm

signing for the hearing impaired I for

one was very moved by your speech when

you said that part about following your

dream it really spoke to me so tomorrow

I'm quitting my job to write my novel

well I didn't really mean can't wait to

read it um so mom I'm gonna go get some

of my mathlete buddies you can take a

picture of all of us okay honey did you

bring the camera why would I bring a

camera I know perhaps because it's the

most important day in your son's life

then it's kind of his responsibility to

bring the camera okay we're ready ok

guys get together got a camera phone No

ok everybody smile say bovine curd

coagulant jeez

oh I ask you / you people are terrible

so big day for Brian yeah lots of

emotion yep you feel any well I'll think

God me neither can't believe I'm not the

least pit wait wait oh I feel something

yep here come the waterworks hey you

can't tell me all these people are that

broken up about their kid graduating and

leaving home hey guys yeah look at fitz

he's okay okay but what well that you

could graduate it and is leaving you

know going out into the world we all

knew was gonna happen sooner or later

it's a little boy I just want to hold

him on with time sunrise sunset

what's wrong with him spill are we

totally an emotional I don't know Judy I

cry every time I see that movie Rudy how

could you not they put him in for that

one last play he's five feet nothing for

God's sakes Bob need nothing but he was

he was old hard hey mom and dad being

the guys are gonna go oh you too it was

gonna get you sooner or later um excuse

me I could you take a picture of me my

parents sure I'm all right you k*ll me

okay how do i press anything

[Music]

okay guys I've got some big big news of

course given what you know about me you

won't really be surprised and the closet

door swings open I love you but I'm not

walking in any parades you know there's

a boy in choirs been asking about you

all right listen jackasses my news is I

got accepted into the summer program at

the University of Chicago I'll be moving

into the dorms in two weeks well come on

KITT can you believe it i'm actually

gonna be moving out of the house great

I'll move out of my way thank you

seriously thank you all for preparing me

for a world filled with indifference you

know kind of think of it you may be a

little fussy for my clarify I'm not gay

wow he's really leaving this is big now

let's take a minute and think what this

means for our family I get his room no I

did I called it first I felt at that

time you fell through the ice and we

thought he was a goner okay you two stop

it fine she can have it I'll just stay

in our room ha wait a minute our rooms

bigger believe those two moving into

Brian's room before he's even left the

house yeah they're so selfish and that'd

be like us taken over his room and

building ourselves a big master suite

we'd never do something like that well

oh thank god you want to do it too you

know pits and marry and have this great

contractor we can use okay know what

Brian's gonna think that we don't even

care about him moving out and we do well

thank God you carry her we just have to

keep it a secret from the kids hey can

we have one of those glass showers why

want to watch me so pop yes okay oh you

do what I just realized we could have

separate toilets no more leaving a sock

on the door to warn me to wait yeah

would you guys mind no I'm only gonna be

20 minutes away and i'll be at home

sleeping in my room every other weekend

trust me it'll never be the same

[Music]

so you and your wife our contractors huh

I couldn't imagine doing that with my

husband the only thing I've ever seen

him hammer is a six-pack and even then

he got tired in the middle
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