01x02 - Ghost in Wonderland Part 2

[bunniefuu]

- Who are you? - [CHUCKLES]

Who am I? I think the better question would be, "Am I who I think I am?" [CURTIS]

That doesn't make sense.

Either it does or it doesn't.

- It doesn't.

- Or does it? Pardon.

Has the queen sent you? [RUBEN]

The queen? Uh, no.

So you are just both uninvited and rude.

Come in, come in.

- Fill the cups! - Uhh I don't really have time for this.

Ah-cha-cha-cha-cha.

It's 6:00.

Teatime.

It's 6:00.

I really must find the queen.

It's not 6:00.

It's actually 3:30.

See? Nothing but time.

[SIGHS]

Your hair wants cutting.

[HUMMING]

Hey.

What's wrong with you? Why, I'm mad of course! [LAUGHS]

But don't worry, we're all mad here.

I'm definitely getting mad.

So, uh, what's the occasion? Well, we are celebrating finally being out of the queen's grasp.

I do not know where this is.

But I do know it's where the queen is not.

For the record, I am not celebrating, merely biding my time till the queen returns.

See, she rules all of Wonderland.

This isn't Wonderland.

It's middle school.

Oh, no.

I need to get to Wonderland, posthaste.

- All right.

Wipe my mouth.

- [LAUGHS]

[RABBIT]

Here we go.

Not before you've had your tea.

But But I did have my tea.

Uh [SQUEAKS]

Wha Wha What? I Hey, you tricked him.

Hush-shush-sha! Now.

I ask not "where" but "wherefore".

Therefore I ask, why are you here? Dude, there's got to be an easier way to ask that.

We're not sure exactly.

It's a mystery.

A mystery? I love mysteries! We need clues.

[HUMMING]

Hey, you can't take things that don't belong to you.

[HUMS]

- Well, it Very well.

- Read me a tale.

"The inner workings of the human mind have fascinated s" - Boring, boring, boring, boring! - Very well.

[GASPS]

- More clues.

- Hey, give me that.

- I said, give it back now.

- Whoo! - Come on, man.

That's my test.

- Huh! - Huh! Uh-uh, uh-uh! - Come on.

I need it.

- Please, please.

Oh, no.

- [CRASHING]

- Please, I need that.

- This is pointless.

- Maybe we should just go.

- [CLEARS THROAT]

Um I don't think we're going anywhere.

I've never seen Principal Fong so angry.

Seriously? She's angry all the time.

Yes, but never with me.

Excuse me.

What are you doing? I just downloaded Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

It's a really weird book.

And check it out.

There's a tea party.

That's the guy who said he was mad.

He really is.

He's the Mad Hatter.

- I've never actually read this book.

- Me either.

We all need to.

That's the only way we're gonna solve this mystery.

In that case, get up.

I'm a fast reader.

Okay.

So, in a nutshell, there's this girl named Alice that falls down a rabbit hole, meets all these bizarre characters, and then realizes it's all a dream.

Did I miss anything? It's more than that.

It's about growing up but remaining a kid.

Like not losing that part of you that can imagine crazy things.

Right.

Of course.

That too.

I loved Alice.

I would totally be friends with her.

Great, Donna.

But why did Ghost Writer release these characters from the book? Maybe we need to ask.

Ghost Writer, can you hear us? The ghost can't, but the whole city can.

I think the ghost can only communicate with written words.

Does anyone have a couple of bucks? Thanks.

What are you doing? It's like in the bookstore.

Ghost Writer used Donna's juice to write us a message.

Come on, buddy.

Do your thing.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

You owe me two dollars.

We know Ghost Writer let the characters out of the book.

Maybe we need to find a way to put them back in.

I think we need to find Alice.

Pay attention, Donna.

There's no Alice here.

But it's called Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

She's the hero of the book.

She's gotta be around somewhere.

- I can't deal with this right now.

- Come on.

It's a good idea.

- She has a point.

- No, she doesn't.

- She kinda does.

- Well, I am the smart one in the family.

That's it.

Go home.

- [RUBEN]

Curtis, come on.

- I'm not going home.

Mom said I'm in charge, and I can't deal with you right now.

Go! [RABBIT]

I'm late.

Why am I always late? [RABBIT GRUNTS]

Where is it? Hey.

You can't do that.

You're ruining the plants.

I'm looking for a way back home.

You see, I am late.

Yeah.

I know.

You told me, like, a million times.

Plus, I read the book.

What book? Never mind.

You're looking for a rabbit hole so you can get back to the queen before she yells, "Off with your head".

Oh, my fuzzy cottontail.

Do you think she'll have my head for being late? Ohh.

Oh, no.

I didn't mean to upset you.

I really must be It's time to [WOMAN]

Hello? Hello? I'm down here.

Hello? Can you see me? Help me.

Hello! Hello.

Help me.

Help! That's Alice.

I can't hear you.

Speak up.

[ALICE]

I don't know how to get big.

Maybe if you tried screaming at the top of your voice? [ALICE]

I I am.

Wait a minute.

In the book, Alice used a fan to make herself small.

[GASPS]

Huh? Huh.

Hello.

My name is Alice.

I know who you are.

Wait.

What were you saying? I don't know how to get big.

Oh.

Right.

Yeah, but she's still your sister.

You didn't have to be so mean to her.

You don't get it.

Donna's not the easiest kid in the world.

And I'm sure you're perfect.

Listen, Dad.

I'm not talking about a complete renovation.

I'm saying it wouldn't k*ll us to make some improvements around here.

Hi.

Oh, like this ratty, old chair.

It has been here since I was Ruben's age.

It should go.

This is my store, and I'll decide what changes are made.

The chair stays.

For the record, your mom is right.

That chair is pretty gross.

- [RUBEN]

Look.

- [CURTIS]

Whoa.

"Donna"? This is fun.

You look just the way I thought you would.

Except smaller.

You are very strange, Donna.

But I like you.

I like you too.

But how are we going to get out of here? Usually my brother would come and find me.

But he doesn't want to talk to me right now.

[RUMBLING]

- [RUMBLING CONTINUES]

- [BOTH YELP]

[PHONE BUZZES]

- [LINE RINGING]

- [SIGHS]

She's not answering.

And you checked in with your mom? Donna didn't go home? No, and I had to make up a story so my mom wouldn't worry and There's nothing to worry about, right? Are you kidding? Of course there is.

Why else would the ghost write "Donna" five times? Right, I get it.

Is there any way you could track your sister's phone? Actually, yes.

She loses it a lot, so my parents keep a location app on.

[PHONE PINGS]

- She's at school.

- Let's go.

[PINGING CONTINUES]

- More strange people.

- That's my brother.

Curtis! He can't see us.

Run! It's Donna's phone.

Yeah.

But where's Donna? Not good.

Everyone, in my office.

Now.

How is your brother going to save us now? I don't think he is.

[RABBIT]

Ah.

The queen? "Queen" is a bit much, Chevon.

Don't try and weasel out of this.

I wanna know who dug up the plants.

[STAMMERS]

Me? - Ruben's to blame? - No, no.

I was pointing at the rabbit.

Oh, right.

I think what he meant was maybe a rabbit snuck into the science room to look for carrots.

I was just trying to get to the queen.

The best queen in all the land.

[SIGHS]

Give it a rest.

You're an embarrassment.

So, anyone have a better story than the rabbit? I'm very disappointed.

Especially with you, Chevon.

The only time I see you is when you're pleading with me to create a grade higher than an A plus.

I still like "A squared".

I'd like to know what's going on.

[QUEEN]

As would I.

Some sorcery has brought me to this strange land.

Really? You took cups and plates from the kitchen, made a mess of the auditorium.

And worst of all, the muffins and tarts you stole came from the bake sale which was to raise money for the homeless.

Ohh.

It was you who stole the tarts.

- Off with their heads.

- What? No.

- Excuse me? - Excuse me? I'd watch your tone.

You're already in a lot of trouble.

I'm gonna call your parents and suspend all of you.

No! Please.

I've never even had a tardy slip.

If you hear us out, you'll see it was a simple misunderstanding.

I'm listening.

- This is getting good.

[TAPS FOOT]

- Oh.

[DONNA]

We used to hang out all the time.

We'd go to the bookstore together.

We got along.

But now, Curtis is always too busy for me.

I sympathize.

I too know the hardships of having a sibling.

My sister thinks she's so special because she reads all the time.

It's the same with Curtis.

He's the big basketball star, so Mom and Dad give him all the attention.

I don't know what to do.

Listen.

Curtis is growing up and so are you.

You might not spend as much time together, but he is your brother, and he will always be there for you.

[ALICE]

Except for now, apparently.

As you can see, we've clearly been framed.

If you ask me, my money's on those eighth-graders at Spring Hill Middle.

You honestly expect me to buy that? Tell me what happened or you're all suspended.

"Oh, suspend".

I assume "suspend" means "off with their heads" in your language.

- What insolence.

Why do you not respond? - [RABBIT]

Uh Okay.

The thing is It's pretty funny actually.

- [MAD HATTER SCREAMS]

- [RABBIT GASPS]

The girl is right.

It is funny.

[LAUGHS]

It's all my fault.

I was the one who had the party in the auditorium, and it was my idea to break into the science room.

- No.

- Don't blame them.

Ruben, stop.

What were you thinking? [QUEEN]

It doesn't matter.

Give me my tarts or suffer your fate.

I guess I'm acting out.

Ruben, you don't have to.

Let him talk.

Ruben, please.

Well I guess since moving here it it's been kinda hard.

I mean, I have no friends at school.

And when I come home to spend time with my grandpa, he'd rather be hanging out with Chevon.

Which Sorry.

It's just weird.

Oh, and that's another thing.

My grandma d*ed, which is super sad.

The apartment is small.

The city is loud.

And there's nowhere to ride my skateboard.

And I've tried to make friends, but the closest I've come is hurting Curtis's shoulder.

And now, Chevon's academic record is ruined.

And as a bonus, we're being haunted by a ghost, which probably is my fault too.

Ghost? It's just something the kids are saying these days.

Uh Well? - That was some speech, Ruben.

- I'm sorry.

First, let me say how sorry I am about your grandmother's passing.

Perhaps as the principal, I should have done more to welcome you to our school.

I know it's hard starting over, and being the new kid is never easy.

Yeah.

I guess it's been harder than I thought.

While I can't excuse your actions, I am impressed with the maturity you've displayed here today.

It's clear you understand what you did was wrong.

So I see no reason to suspend you.

You don't? Really? Believe it or not, I do care.

So I'm not in trouble? [CHUCKLES]

No.

You're in trouble.

I wouldn't be doing my job if I let you off without any punishment.

But detention will be sufficient.

You can help clean up after school.

And you can put on another bake sale to raise money for the homeless.

If you don't mind, I'd like to join Ruben in detention.

Fine.

Me too.

I guess we're all in this together.

Well, Ruben, for a guy who says he doesn't have any friends, you seem to have two pretty good ones right here.

[SOBS]

Oh, there seems to be something in my eye.

Ruben, that speech.

It was brilliant.

[QUEEN]

It was moving.

I too feel like a stranger in a strange land.

I know at times I can be a little forceful.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

No, I would.

Yeah.

I would also say gigglemug 'cause I love the way it rolls off my tongue.

[LAUGHS]

I'm not even from Wonderland.

I was raised in a deck of cards.

And I miss my home.

- Uh Uh - I miss the other queens.

I miss Diamonds and Spades and Clubs.

[CRIES]

Let it out.

It's good for you.

Tell me about your childhood.

Well, my parents were cold and distant.

And I see now that they did the best that they could.

They loved me.

Okay, okay.

What about me? What's my issue? Well, you're just mad? Oh, thank you.

This is all great, but we still have a big problem.

Where's Donna? I may know where she is.

Come.

Come, here's Oh, here.

And when I was young, my mother gave me away in a game of Go Fish.

She didn't even say goodbye, just merely, "Oh, yes.

I have a queen".

Uh-huh.

That must have been very hard for you.

- I don't see Donna.

- She's right there.

Curtis! Curtis, I'm here! [ALICE]

Curtis! Other people! We're down here! Curtis! Curtis, down here! Oh, man.

My mom's gonna k*ll me.

I don't think so.

I have an idea.

[RABBIT GRUNTS, SNIFFS]

In the book, there's a cake that makes Alice tall.

You think one of these cakes is magical? - Not that one.

- What? It offends me.

Oh, allow me to shield it from your eyes, Your Majesty.

There.

[SIGHS]

You ready? [CURTIS]

Oh, yes.

Donna! [SIGHS]

Thank you.

Well, it's been fun.

But time to go back to Wonderland.

Yes.

It's time I have a long-overdue conversation with my mother.

Just remember the breathing exercises I taught you.

Oh, yes, thank you.

I will miss you, Donna.

Good luck with everything.

Thanks.

And same with you.

How will we get there? Oh, dear.

Will it take a long time? No.

Just go down the rabbit hole.

But I do not see one.

[LAUGHS]

Okay.

I may be mad, but even I know it's gonna be impossible to fit in there.

So I'm not sure how this works.

So just try, uh, touching it.

[SIGHS]

[RABBIT]

Uh, oh Ah, just in time.

[RABBIT]

Uh, oh We're home.

[RUBEN EXHALES]

Whoa.

It worked.

All the words are back.

So, now what? I guess it's over.

I guess so.

We can go back to living like normal people again.

Cool.

Then I guess I'll see you at school? Yeah.

See ya.

Just try not to hurt me again.

Got it.

No more soup, and I'll keep a healthy distance.

Hey, let's look around a little bit.

Oh, no.

It's okay.

We don't have to.

Besides, I can do it some other time.

And don't you have basketball practice? Can't play.

My shoulder still hurts.

But I thought you said it wasn't a big deal.

Guess it was worse than I thought.

You know what you said in the principal's office? I was just trying to get us out of suspension.

Uh-huh.

Well, it was healthy.

It's good to talk through your emotions.

I wish your grandfather would.

So that's why you've been reading all those boring psychology books and trying to upset my grandpa with dessert.

Clearly it didn't work.

You were really close to her, huh? She was like my grandmother.

She was your grandmother.

I think I know why he didn't wanna get rid of the chair.

Grandma always sat there.

I may not read boring psychology books, but maybe there's more than one way to grieve.

You know, I'm glad Ghost Writer chose Alice.

It's all about accepting change, and that's something I've been having trouble with.

You're gonna think this is bizarre, but what if your grandma's Ghost Writer? She did choose the perfect book for you.

She did bring us all together.

"Come together".

Grandpa said, even though Grandma's gone, she'll always be with us.

Especially here.

Like a ghost.

It's a good theory, but [SIGHS]

I guess we'll never know.

It's over now.

[WHOOSHING]

[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING]

[TYPING CONTINUES]

[CURTIS]

"Help me"? Maybe it's not over just yet.