02x03 - Hugs Can Be Deceiving

[bunniefuu]

All right, so you got your
visiting room over here,

which is where your mommy or
daddy will come and visit you.

You gotta put their names on the list.

This area, down here, out of bounds,

okay, guys, until you
get assigned down here...

Ooh! They must've locked
you up for your own good.

Hey, don't be afraid, little girl.

Daddy can protect you
from the criminal element.

All right, Boo, keep
it in your pants, okay?

Come on. Forget about them.

Oh, my God.

Oh, sh*t, she is risen!

sh*t.

sh*t.

Oh, sh*t!

Five, four, three, two, one, go!

Man, I don't know who
the f*ck this is. Pass.

- Uh! No passing.
- But I don't know...

Man, time's running out! Say, like,
"it sounds like," or something.

Uh, all right, rhymes with Bleve Blerwin.

Man, she's cheating! You
can't do no "rhymes with"!

What the f*ck I was supposed to do?

Stupid ass people ain't
nobody ever heard of.

- Time!
- I know!

Man, Steve Irwin. The Crocodile Hunter?

Rest in peace, B-T-dubs.

All right, my turn! Ready, P?

Whoo! We got this.

And... three, two, one, go!

- Uh, crazy dude who believes in aliens?
- Tom Cruise.

Yes, ma'am. Okay, okay. Um...

- Basketball. Uh, nerd glasses.
- LeBron.

- Other one.
- D-Wade.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Man, what the f*ck?

Yo, chick whose husband d*ed real young.

- The white Michelle Williams!
- Yes, yes.

Time! You're outta time!

Uh-uh, now, see, as long as
y'all two playing, I quit.

Yo, yo, ain't our fault you
ain't current on your Us Weekly.

Stars, they're just like us, Mackenzie!

Yo, you think I could try?

Man, how many times I got to tell
you we need you on clock duty?

And I like clock duty.

Yeah, watching the clock
and smelling the clock.

But, you know, I was thinking, with
my dramatic skills, I could play...

Yo, son, you straight up
lost your mind last time.

All hitting yourself in the head and sh*t.

Yeah, we still can't
play Jenga 'cause of you.

Yo, well, look, thing is,
we already got a even number.

- So, come on, J, you up.
- Clock duty.

- All right, come on, J.
- Okay.

And... five, four, three,

two, one.

Blastoff!

I dressed myself, Mama!

She's so pretty.

Isn't she?

She looks like you and Daddy.

Mommy and Daddy made her, honey.

She's our miracle.

Can I hold the miracle?

Here, sit back right here.

Now, just be extra careful.

Make sure to support her head.

What's she called?

Grace.

Hello, Grace.

I'm your best friend and
your big sister, Suzanne.

Just me and you. You and me. You and I.

Okay, honey, that's enough for now.

She's had quite a journey today.
You can hold her again later.

No! She's my baby! You give her back!

You told me she was mine! She's
mine! Give her back! Give her back!

Suzanne, stop it, be a big girl.

Do something.

- But I have the baby!
- Give her to me.

No! No! No!

Hey! Hey!

It's pretty exciting being
a big sister, isn't it?

You know, I couldn't wait to meet
my little brother when he was born.

But you know what? That
kid cried for a whole year.

I even asked my mommy if she
could put him back in her tummy.

Hey, would you like me to fix your hair up?

It seems you should have a fancy
do to go with that fancy outfit.

Ooh! I love, love your wings.

Thank you, pink's my favorite color.

Oh, I can see that.

Nice.

All right, there, Chapman. Well,
looks like it's your lucky day, hun.

Oh.

Ah!

Come on.

It's like family.

Oh, I never thought I'd be
so happy to be back here.

Blondie!

I thought they'd shipped you away for good.

I heard you gave what's-her-boobs
a pretty good beatdown.

Didn't know you had it in you.

You b*at someone up?

Yes, I did.

- What's your name again, hun?
- Soso.

No, no, no, I said what's your name?

Yeah, that's my name. Brook Soso.

Oh. Um, funny story, my parents named me
Brook after Brooke Shields, the actress.

Um, but except without the "e,"

'cause they thought it
would be a bit more original.

But sometime around my 10th birthday,

they started saying I was
named after a brook instead.

Um, like the babbling kind.

That's funny.

Proving once again, you can
either be pretty or smart.

Yeah, chemo makes her cranky.

Why don't you take the
bunk above Chapman, okay?

Oh, I got something for
you. We got a toothbrush...

and soap.

I don't normally bend the rules like
this, but you don't look full... Asia.

Well, thank you.

- Seriously, for everything.
- Bah!

This is not how I imagined
prison to be at all.

Hey.

What happened to her?

Oh!

Well, she got b*rned.

Anyway, I got a van run
in a couple of minutes.

Rosa, I will see you
tomorrow for your appointment.

Oh! I almost forgot.

Chapman, brushy brush and soapy soap.

We didn't know if you were coming back.

Yeah.

Me, either.

You have another one of those?

Oh. I'm real sorry, hun, I don't.

One of the black girls didn't
come round when you got in?

That's a shame.

Leanne, I feel free as a bird.

No, like, not even a bird,
like a snake! More like a snake.

Like an anaconda.

Like, I had to, like, shed that scaly skin

'cause it just didn't
suit me anymore, you know?

Why are you talking like one of
those puppets with a hand up its butt?

I'm not.

I'm just smiling. See?

I don't care what you say,

they did something funny
to you up in that hospital.

Exactly!

What do you think is different
about me? How do I look?

I don't know, you're acting
a little, like, Ret*rded.

I'm not Ret*rded, I got new teeth!

Oh.

"Oh."

You're jealous.

No.

Are you jealous that I'm kind
of pretty now and you're not?

Mama says pretty's for
flowers and movie stars,

'cause neither one's got a brain.

So, what are you saying? I'm not smart?

Well, I'm saying...

I'm saying you're acting
like you're better than us,

and we don't like it.

Okay...

You know what, Leanne, maybe you
are onto something, all right?

Maybe I am tired of being down here,
folding y'all's dirty panties, all right?

You wanna know the g*dd*mn truth?

Maybe I wanna aim higher...

for myself.

Yeah, you do that, Tucky. You aim
as high as the ceilings in here.

You might even be able
to lick all the boogers

people have flicked up there.

Ah!

Do you have anywhere else to be? Anywhere?

Nope! Exactly nowhere to be.

Then I'll find somewhere else to
be because you are annoying as sh*t.

I was adopted, you know.

Good for you. I wasn't.

Weren't you?

No.

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way.

You're not even supposed to be in here.

I got my ways.

There's so much blood rushin' to my head,

I'm starting to feel like a tick!

You know how they bite a
deer and then it's like...

Don't interrupt.

Taystee...

I had to go into hiding.

I needed you when I was out...

and you was nowhere to be found.

Couldn't even be bothered enough
to leave a note or nothing.

Baby, that wasn't personal.

I had every cop above
125th Street looking for me.

I couldn't tell anybody
where I was. It was too risky.

'Course not.

'Cause you ain't too good at
risky when it comes to yourself.

Where I come from, we
call that "chicken sh*t."

I had my reasons.

You know, I'm feeling like I
already gave you too much of my time.

And I don't need your explaining,
and I don't need you...

especially in here.

Ooh!

Thanks for being patient,
letting me finish.

Taystee mad at you?

Seems that way.

Don't take it personal.

I try not to.

Now, I know what you gonna say.

"But Suzanne, my heart hurts!"

And I hear you, I do. A lot.

But you gotta put your head down,
keep on buffing those floors.

Clockwise... and counter-clockwise.

'Cause sometimes people just
don't wanna play with you,

and that's okay.

You work on the maintenance crew?

I do. I do.

Um...

My specialty is buffing, though.

That's an impressive skill.

Thank you, thank you.

And, uh...

by the way, who are you?

I'm Vee.

It's nice to meet you, Suzanne.

Hey...

you in orange.

You're out of bounds.

Don't let me see you in here
till you're wearing beige.

Remember, only one piece of cake.

And, Suzanne, don't forget
to wear your night guard!

Hi, Grace! The girls are in the game room.

They're just getting
ready to watch a movie.

Why don't you girls go on
down and join the party?

- Have a great time.
- Bye. Mom!

I hope you don't mind.

We just feel it's important for Suzanne

to have the same social
development as Grace.

I don't think it's appropriate
for Suzanne to be here.

Fine. Let's cut the bullshit,
then, is this because she's black?

She's 10 years old and it's a
birthday party for 6-year-olds.

You know which kids suffer
in this world, Melanie?

The ones who are told they're different.

The ones who aren't given
the opportunity to succeed

alongside every other kid their age.

And I'll be damned if I
label my child "less than"

so that the rest of the
world can put her in a box

and dismiss her before she's
had a chance to succeed in life.

I'm sure she'll have a great time tonight.

Daya.

Oh, hey.

No, just stay there.
You... Can you hear me okay?

Yeah, I can hear you.

I couldn't find you. I
didn't think you came here.

What, are you saying I don't read?

What? No, of course not. I was
just saying that I didn't...

This isn't one of your typical...

I'm sorry, it's the hormones.

I'm real sensitive right now.

It's okay.

So, um, how's your day?

Well, it's fine.

I had some special enchiladas
for lunch. That was good.

Mmm? Yeah.

How are you?

Uh, tired,

stayed up real late last
night watching the game.

What you reading there?

They got pregnancy
magazines and stuff in here.

Look, this whole article is on folic acid.

That sounds dangerous.

No, it's actually good
for the baby and sh*t.

It says we have better chances of not
having a Ret*rded kid if I take it.

Daya... Daya, you don't need
to worry about stuff like that.

Look... my mom didn't
take vitamins or whatever,

and I think it's safe to say
that yours didn't, either.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Nothing. No, I just meant...

Never mind.

- I wanna be better than my mom.
- I know...

I want this baby to have everything.

I'm gonna tell them that I'm pregnant.

What?

Daya, you can't do that.

What if there's something
wrong with the baby, John?

Daya, we have been over this.

Half of the girls know
anyway. I don't get...

But not the administration.

So what? I can't...

Looking to edumacate
yourself there, Bennett?

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Seventy-three hundred.

Careful, no one likes a,
uh, well-read beefcake.

I want to look fierce.

Fierce? Fierce.

Second one.

Tired of throwing them pity
parties for yourself, huh?

I don't do pity.

Honey, those roots are saying otherwise.

Dmitri coming to visit this weekend?

No.

- Somebody inside?
- Don't be ridiculous.

If it ain't sex, what's got you
crawling out of that gutter of bad hair?

Ever look at yourself and realize
how other people must see you?

You caught the whole
used-to-be-a-man thing, right?

A woman I knew a long time
ago came back in yesterday.

Oh!

So you wanna impress her?

More like intimidate her.

"Don't f*ck with me."

I got just the color for that.

And then these.

I'm sorry, Franny, your
reception's not so good.

It sounded like you said that
Christopher's getting married.

He's gettin' married?

Why would he?

He's movin' to Albany?

I don't... But... Oh, my God.

It's her.

He's movin' into her house.

But that's less than an hour from here.

He's tryin' to rub it in my face!

I will f*ckin' strangle that f*ckin' cooze.

I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry, Franny. No, no, I'm sorry.

I'm tryin', I'm tryin'.
I really am. Uh-huh.

Now, honey, real quick, just before I go,

why don't you tell me when is it?

I can find a f*ckin'
newspaper if I want to.

Just tell me when it is.

I'm your sister, for cryin' out loud.

My poor baby, he's so confused.

He doesn't realize she's a whore.

You don't go Jessica
Simpson when you got Rihanna.

Yes. Yes. Yes, I know that
Rihanna is black, thank you.

But... I know that, too.

Okay. All right.

Yes. Yes, I understand.

I'll be a good girl. Okay.

I love you. I love you, too. Okay, bye.

God!

Everything okay?

I'm great!

Hey, Andrew? Hey, Larry.

- Of course.
- Yeah, yeah, thanks for meeting me.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, so, like I said in my
email, loved your NPR piece.

Oh, well, thanks.

Well, um, I read City Post religiously.

I was really excited to get your email.

I'm hoping you can put
me in touch with Piper.

Oh. Uh...

Wait, what? Why?

I'm doing a story on
Litchfield. She's my way in.

What's your angle?

Fraud, embezzling.

They filed plans for a gym that
supposedly broke ground two years ago.

We're talking 6,000 square
feet. Hard to hide, right?

But when you look on Google
Earth, no new structures.

- Holy sh*t.
- Yeah, man.

I just need someone in there
who can help corroborate

and maybe, you know, sniff around for me.

Well, uh...

you know, I'm, uh...

I'm pretty deep into, uh... journalism

with the prison story.

Um, you know, and it's not just Piper.

I mean, her counselor
and I? We talk regularly,

so, yeah, I mean, I'd
be a really great asset.

Great.

You tell Denise I don't care what
her mother heard on The Today Show.

I got nothing here gluten-free.

So if she dies from a
gluten overdose or whatever,

then who am I to stand in the way of fate?

Prison is gluten.

Don't commit the crime if you
can't f*ckin' have flour, got it?

Here, I'll tell her myself.

Hey, you gettin' any
more greens up in here?

Yo, I miss that creamed corn, man.

- Word!
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, I'd give my left tit
for a piña colada and a smoke,

but you don't see that on the menu, right?

Mmm.

Piña colada do sound good, though.

All right.

So you and me, we're, like,
snatch sisters now, right?

Can we not talk about my
ex-girlfriend's vag*na?

I hate to be a stickler here,

but isn't it more like
ex-girlfriend-mistress-life-ruiner?

Is everybody...

Is everybody staring at me right now?

Because I really feel like
everyone's staring at me.

It's great to see you evolving, Chapman.

And getting past the whole

"I'm the star of my own movie
and everyone else's, too" complex.

Do I do that?

You know, you really hurt her.

I don't wanna talk about that.

She came running to me
like an injured lamb.

Yes, a lamb with great, sexy glasses and
giant pillowy tits inside of my mouth.

Alex Vause was never a lamb.

She is the wolf that eats the lamb.

You can't blame the wolf. Lamb's
delicious, that's smart eating.

Watch yourself, Chapman.

Oh, I can't believe she got out.

System's f*cked.

They got your number now, honey.

What are you looking at?

I knew them b*tches was lying

when they said you left here
looking like Omar from The Wire.

See, I told you everybody's
talking about me.

Relax, Omar.

Oh.

What, you gonna b*at the
sh*t out of me now, too?

Just tell me the safe word.

I missed you.

Yeah, I missed you, too.

You okay?

Fine, fine.

Just a little antsy lately.

Oh, not me. This place is a
spa compared to where I've been

for the past few weeks.

I thought the water tasted like cucumbers.

Man, it sounds like it
was a f*cking nightmare.

I spent a lot of time wondering
if it would matter if I d*ed.

In the macro sense, no.

You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life,

but... you f*ckin' tickle me,
so I think it would matter.

Cindy, right?

Depends.

I'm told you work in the warehouse.

Nah, got a real sweet gig
as a Rockette right now.

Would you be willing
to do an errand for me?

Mmm!

Well, ain't you real polite,

using your white folks'
words to get free work.

I have something hidden in
one of the electrical sockets

behind where they stack
the broken down boxes.

I'd be very grateful if you
could retrieve it for me.

Bitch...

if grateful paid the bills,
we'd all be Bill Gates.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Missed a spot, right there.

Here.

Suzie, you want the Chipmunks or the
Muppet Babies sleeping bag this time?

- Get out of here, I'm changing.
- So?

I'm starting to become a woman,

and Mom says I shouldn't let
people see my bathing suit parts.

I'll take the Muppets tonight.

Please don't be weird.

I'm not weird.

I'm just like everyone else.

"Once upon a time, there
was an extra pretty girl... "

And then, Grace, you go,
make up the next part,

- and then we'll go around the circle.
- Okay.

Once upon a time... there
was an extra pretty girl

who lived in a huge house on
top of a hill with her family.

But then a dragon came swooping in,

breathing fire out of its dragon
nostrils and lights the house on fire.

Some of her family runs outside,

but the little girl gets
trapped inside by herself.

She screams for help,

but no one wants to come back and save her,

so she sits and she cries by herself...

and gets b*rned up by
the fire and dies alone.

That's not how it goes.

But now it's more interesting.

No! That's stupid.

You're stupid.

But dragons are cool.

Huh?

Hey, hey, hey, Brook. Brook? Brook?

I thought everyone goes
by their last names.

They do, but I can't say yours with
a straight face right now, so...

Try to take some deep breaths.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths, okay.

Do you wanna take some
breaths with me, Chapman?

No.

You know, when I was WWOOFing
on a walnut farm in Xenia...

While you were what-ing?

WWOOFing. Willing Workers On Organic Farms.

Where is Xenia?

It's in Ohio.

You should probably just say
"volunteering in Ohio" from now on.

It's pretty misleading otherwise.

Okay, well...

Meadow said this really amazing thing...

Meadow?

Is that a person?

Yeah, she's my best friend.

Oh.

Was my best friend.

Anyway, she said...

"Brook, be a grasshopper."

And it just made so much sense, you know?

No, I don't.

It's about the synchronicity
of life, Chapman.

I miss her so much.

- Meadow.
- It's fine. It's gonna be fine.

You seem so calm.

Are you a m*rder*r?

No, I'm not a m*rder*r!

Don't yell at me! I'm
really scared right now!

- Shut up!
- Hey, hey, hey. Okay, I know, I know.

You know, I cried my
whole first night, too.

It gets easier. You'll adjust.

You'll find friends, and pretty soon
the food is not gonna make you dry-heave

and, you know, you'll even
get the hang of pooping

while making eye contact with somebody.

Everything ends, Brook.

Even prison.

Try to focus on that.

Here are some tissues.

I think I'm finding friends already.

Okay, all right.

Should I go check on the
table? It's been 45 minutes.

I'm sure the hostess is good at her job.

Right.

- Do you want another drink?
- I'm good.

So how's Piper doing?

- Pardon?
- Piper? Your ex-fiancée who's in prison?

It's...

It feels... weird that
you're asking me about her.

Well, would it be weirder if I
pretended not to know about you?

Because, you know, even
if your dad hadn't told me,

it is the 21st century

and a quick click on Google can give
me any information that I need, so...

I like efficiency. Let's
just skip the small talk.

I don't... I don't know how Piper is.

- We're not speaking at the moment.
- Smart.

Uh, I'm sorry, my dad said you
were a pediatrician of some sort?

Pediatric neurologist.

Here I am, 29 years old and
really impressive to parents.

- Do you live with them?
- Who?

Your parents.

What? No.

No, did he say that?

What, no, it's just, they seem
pretty involved in your life.

Yeah. Yeah, they are.

So you working on anything right now?

Oh. Uh...

Yeah, you know, I mean...

I'm considering some options. I'm
trying to figure out what's next.

Oh, no, that's great.

I... You know, I am just
so tired of going on dates

where I have to listen to guys go on and on

about how they're turning
their Twitter feeds into blogs,

their blogs into books, and
their books into Twitter feeds.

It's exhausting.

Stop pretending that your
podcast is work, right?

Right.

No, it's just...

it's really refreshing that
you're not doing anything.

Yeah?

No, it's great.

A guy without ambition
is at the top of my list.

Someone who's happy to stay
at home with our three kids

while I take care of other people's.

Did you want kids, because your
Facebook profile didn't say?

Shut up.

Hello?

Whoa! Ow!

Diaz, your side of the
bunk is looking dirty.

I suggest you take a maxi
pad to that floor, stat,

if you wanna pass inspection.

Did you get my gift?

Yeah.

What's wrong? I... I
thought you'd be excited.

Yeah, I've been dreaming
about meeting a man

who will leave a bag of raw
spinach underneath my pillow

with a note that says, "For my baby."

You're a real Prince Charming.

f*ck diamonds, I got spinach!

Spinach has folic acid in it. A lot.

And... I even got the organic kind.

The guys up front are
calling me Popeye now.

They think it's my lunch!

John, I ain't gonna eat a
whole bag of spinach every day.

I'm not a f*cking rabbit.

Yep.

The pre-natal vitamins have all
kinds of other stuff in them, anyway.

Look, I...

I can't get the pills in, Daya, I'm sorry.

Look, we're not even allowed to
have vitamins in our bags now.

I'll reinspect tomorrow at 7:00 a.m., Diaz.

If you're not gonna be concerned
about the health of our child,

and you don't wanna figure this out,

- then you know what?
- Oh, my God...

- I'm done.
- ... please do not talk like your mother.

It's...

it scares me.

Hey, can we, uh...

Can we meet at our spot later?

I miss touching you.

Go.

What are you doing?

I saw Dandelion.

Try again. What... what
are you trying to say?

Piper.

She hates me.

She's dangerous,

but so am I.

Who? That white girl?

Oh, man, Suzanne.

Listen to me, okay?

In my day, the black women ran this place.

And I say women, because
that's what we were.

Women.

Not a bunch of little girls running
around here with bad attitudes.

Now, I see you, you understand? I see you.

You're a smart, strong, black woman.

Everybody else around here
underestimates you, but not me.

You remember that the next
time you run into Dandelion,

or whatever the hell you wanna call her.

You hold your head up high, you hear me?

Because at the end of the
day, you are a garden rose,

and that bitch is a weed.

Thank you for these.

It's...

it's good to know I have a friend in here.

Jesus f*cking Christ, Nichols,
you gotta work on your technique.

No babe ever takes this
long when I'm doing her.

You know, some nuts are
tougher to cr*ck than others.

Oh, please, two in the pink, one in
the stink. It ain't rocket science.

Hey, I'll be out in a second!

Yes! Oh, my God! Yeah!

We have a touchdown.

We're no longer accommodating
any bullshit allergy requests.

Listen, I'm just here to tell you that...

the habanero sauce last night at
dinner was almost as good as La Rica's.

How you know La Rica?

Spiciest salsa in New York.

Best salsa in New York.

Oh, yeah, you're a good imitator.

I'll take that as a compliment.

It was meant as such.

I'm Vee.

Welcome to prison.

Welcome back, actually.

I was just wondering, if we could...

make a trade.

Flip the top.

Well, the g*ng's all here,
huh? Chapman, welcome back.

Miss Doggett, you're looking... rested.

Uh? No? Really?

You didn't notice my teeth?

Dang it.

Well, I got new teeth, 'cause
she knocked my old ones out.

I think we can all agree there were some...

dental issues before
the fight, Miss Doggett.

Mr. Caputo, I would just like to say

that I am prepared to
behave like a model inmate

and I feel I no longer pose a thr*at.

Spare us, Chapman, this
isn't a beauty pageant.

I wanted to see you both so
we can put this all behind us.

Bury the hatchet...

or something with a
little less violent history

than that particular idiom.

From an administration perspective,
you're both found at fault.

Case closed.

But she didn't hit me.

While I admire your incessant
need to be special, Chapman...

she did.

No, no, no, no, no,
that's not what I meant.

Unless you'd like to explain
how else you wound up in the snow

with your face bashed in...

Ah, I didn't think so.

I presume your ego will be all right

with Miss Doggett getting a few punches in,

seeing as how you're both enjoying
the cozy comforts of minimum security

instead of rotting away in the SHU.

I'd like to assume we're all
squared away here, ladies.

Well? Can I?

Assume that, huh?

- Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Good.

Perhaps you'd like to, uh...

hug?

To help assure me of your new friendship?

Are you serious?

Good, okay, you may go.

Peace be with you.

Close the door behind you.

No.

Well, you haven't changed a bit.

Oh! I'm sure there are a few differences.

You've been well?

Never better, till I landed back in here.

All the new drug laws these
days. Nasty business.

You didn't say hello to me
in the bathroom yesterday.

I didn't see you in the
bathroom. You're mistaken.

I must be.

I'm sorry to see that
you're not in the kitchen.

The food now is... no bueno.

Perhaps that will help with your weight.

Yeah, well, at least black don't cr*ck.

You're right, nothing has changed.

Oh, Red, I'm getting too old for this sh*t.

I've been back here two days and
already I can see the game has changed.

It has.

Yeah.

I think this time I'm just
gonna keep my head down,

read my books, do my time
like the good Lord intended.

These old bones just need a
little bit of peace and quiet.

That sounds nice.

Ambitious, and bullshit, but nice.

You're gonna be great, honey.
You did your scale warm-ups?

And now I'd like to
introduce Suzanne Warren,

who will be singing a
special graduation song.

Come on, sweetie, this is your
chance. Go show them how great you are.

No, I can't!

I can't do it, Mom! No! Mom, I can't do it!

I can't! I can't! I can't!

I can't!

♪ Praise the Lord ♪

♪ I saw the light ♪

♪ Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight ♪

♪ Praise the Lord, I saw the light ♪

Hee! Hey! Ooh! Hey!

Ooh, I felt alive with the spirit!

Like baby Jesus in the bear suit!

Yeah.

I felt his presence.

You felt his presence...

or did you feel pee running down your leg?

Yo, you know sh*t is bad
when the mute has to save you.

The mute.

Go ahead, how's it go?
How does it go? Like this?

Am I doing it right?

No, Mommy!

Oh!

I don't want to!

You're always pushing
me to do these things!

Pushing me!

No more, Mommy!

No more.

Can I talk to you?

I'm real sorry for what I
did. Please don't be mad at me.

No, no, Suzanne...

Suzanne, you saved me.

No, I hit you.

In your face.

Like, wham, bam, slam!

Yes, I... But you...

You made it look like it was a fair fight.

You are the whole reason I am back here.

I am so grateful to you.

Do you wanna go see the
movie tonight together?

No, I don't think so, Dandelion.

I'm a garden rose.

Hey, hey.

What's going on, kid?

Did you have another
dream about Mr. Snuffles?

That whore is stealing my date!

What? Are you getting out?

No, no, my wedding date!

Christopher's getting married on my date.

Just like we were supposed to.

Hey, it's... I'm sorry.

Oh, I know he's doing it just to hurt me.

What kind of a woman doesn't
wanna pick her own date?

Someone who doesn't get excited
by the wedding industrial complex

and society's bullshit need
to infantilize grown women.

And she's fat!

Yeah, that's a slut.

Come here.

f*ck Christopher.

I bet he sucks dicks.

What are you doing?

I'm really good, Chapman.

No, I said "what" are you doing.

Just setting my intention for the day.

Well, set your intention on your own bed.

You are so much like Meadow, it kills me.

You know, traditionally, women
are much more communal than men.

That's why most women are less violent.

I read that in a book about
matriarchy in Papua New Guinea.

Anyway, I think that if you
shared a bit more easily,

maybe you wouldn't have
b*at that girl up, you know?

No, Soso,

I don't know.

No one has a f*cking clue what
you are talking about, ever,

and I definitely do not need your advice.

Ever.

We are not friends, I am
not your new safety blanket,

and I am definitely not
going to be your new Meadow.

I am a lone wolf, Brook.

And a vicious one.

Don't make me rip your
throat out with my teeth.

- Weezy.
- Lil Wayne!

Yeah!

Nah! You can't be all
sayin' their names like that!

- Time!
- Yo, I ain't say sh*t.

That's his nickname.

And it could've just as easy
been a George Jefferson reference.

Oh, shh...

Yo, what's the deal
with that bitch, anyway?

I don't like her.

Asking favors already,
like she own the damn place.

She used to. That's what
some of the girls were saying.

I don't care 'bout no "used
to." I live in the present.

Namaste and sh*t.

That's Vee.

Hold up, like... like "Vee," Vee?

Yep.

Why you ain't say nothing?

Uh, who the f*ck is Vee?

Basically, like T's mom.

Gracias.

Suzanne! Come get you some cake.

Why she get some cake?

Why can't we get no cake?
Who she think she is?

That is messed up.

Hey, Taystee Girl.

Peace offering.

Funfetti with chocolate icing.

How did you... like, what did you...

I get by with a little help.

Suzanne here played a big part.

Forgive me.

I promise I will never let you down again.

Wasn't I there for you all those years?

Didn't I take care of you?

Let me do the same here.

Why don't you, uh...

invite your friends to join us?

Be a shame to waste all this cake.

Hey!

This is Vee. Vee, this is...

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Janae, Cindy,

Poussey.

Ladies...

- are you hungry?
- Yep.

So, what was that game
y'all were just playing?

Don't work with an
uneven number. No offense.

Well, I count six of us.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Someone needs to keep time.

Well, everybody can
take turns keeping time.

You think, maybe,

we should mix up them teams,
right? Don't you think?

I don't see why not.

You know, I had a feeling about you.

Knew we would get along.

Man, you so full of sh*t, your eyes brown.

Duh!

Here, let me help you with that, baby.

You know, I think it's time
we found you a new look, Suzie.

Oh, but this is how I've always done it.

Maybe it's time to just, you
know, air it out a little bit.

These are stale as f*ck!
Where'd you get these, 1983?

m*therf*cker.