04x04 - Cafeteria Girls

[bunniefuu]

Ahh. Smell all that floor cleanser.

It is the first day of school.

Eighth grade! Look at us, growing up.

Not like Bart Simpson.

That yellow schmuck's been in fourth grade

for, like, 30 years.

Also, is his hair, like, his skin?

-Yeah, he should get that looked at.

-I mean, draw hair.

That's right, we're back.

And in a pointless twist,

we've got a new masked principal.

You have to guess who it is

by the end of the year,

or we lose all our funding! Here's a clue.

I may be a gopher, but I love the water.

Uh-uh-uh. Before you guess, think about

who'd be willing to actually do this.

I think it's Paula Abdul.

In other news, I don't know what you did

last summer, so let's find out!

For our honeymoon,

my parents sent us to Rye Playland.

It was so dope!

I ate a ton of cotton candy before noon

and then had a major meltdown.

Uh, so Samira and I are a couple now,

and we have "sleepovers"!

Her parents watch John Wick every night,

so they don't hear all the

I think the masked principal

is Kathy Lee Gifford.

Whoa, Ali and Samira?

Seems like everyone's coupling up.

Well, we went from being Jay and Lola

to the obvious couple nickname

Lo-Jay.

I'm gonna lick the breakfast out

of your molars.

Hope you like

Lean Pocket Shrimp Vindaloo.

Jay and Lola?

We're, like, the only ones in our grade

who are still single.

Oh, look, even Lump has a girlfriend.

Actually, I have two.

I've been b*ating them off with a stick

ever since I got this flavor saver.

Oh, we will find out soon

what your flavor is.

Mm, yes, soon we will slaughter this boy.

And consume his flesh

like we were at a human steak bistro.

Aw, this sucks.

All the girls in our grade are taken.

Not all of them. What about that new girl?

Ooh! New girl?

Whoa!

Oh, my God, is that Missy?

Mmm! And you can see her yummy tummy.

Andy likey.

God, I bet her belly button smells insane.

Hey, Missy. Love the new look!

Yeah, it's f*cking fantastic.

Well, fellas,

this actually is not for you.

So avert your male gaze

and keep your comments to yourself.

And do not touch my hair with your eyes.

Okay, well, how about him touching

the inside of your mouth with his penis?

Well, it's official. There's no one left

in our grade to go out with.

Okay, seventh-graders,

you're leaving elementary school behind.

-What's that now?

-Just like I'm leaving behind

a famous controversy.

Are you Suge Knight?

Ooh, Andrew,

I'm having a light-bulb moment.

Ooohh. Ay-yay-yai!

I'm also having an idea.

What about going out

with seventh-grade girls?

Whoa, you're a genius!

Nick, what about seventh-grade girls?

-Yes! They're young.

-They're nubile.

- They're gettable.

- They're perfect!

That's what I love about

these seventh-grade girls, man.

I get older, they stay twelve.

Twelve years old.

Oof. When you say it like that

What if I say it like this?

Twelve years old.

That's significantly worse.

- How about this?

- Twelve years old, daddy.

-Waa! Waa!

-Okay, I gotta get to class.

I'm going through changes ♪

I'm going through changes ♪

Oh, in my life ♪

Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪

Hey.

Oh! Look at my grown-up city girl

in her little blazer

with her little crest!

-Oh, I could eat you!

-Mom, calm down.

How can I?

You're going to Darlington-Pierce.

Ooh, I hear that's the school

where Lena Dunham fingered her sister.

Look at this.

"Preparing young women for excellence."

Okay, can we just lower expectations?

I'm actually really nervous.

What?! Why would you be nervous

for excellence?

I don't know.

It's just a new school, I guess.

I know!

And you're gonna meet

so many amazing young women.

And you might get to see Alec Baldwin

punch a hot dog vendor.

New York City,

the city where Alec Baldwin never sleeps.

- Seventh-graders.

- Right.

-Guess we're on the prowl now.

-Uh-huh.

Just two hunters stalking our prey.

-Wait--

-Two sexy predators.

-Um

-Two sexual predators.

No, no, Andrew.

Here are the words you say:

"We're just a couple of eighth-graders

welcoming the seventh-grade girls

to the school."

And we shall select two to french.

And feel up.

And other stuff we're too shy to mention.

Oh, Maury, it sure is good

to be horny with you again.

How's a man even to choose?

The same way we choose everything.

Oh, Netflix!

Let's see what girls are suggested for us.

We know everyone can see us.

And that's part of the thrill.

Eh, nope. What's new and popular?

I'm a normal seventh-grade girl.

And I'm not an undercover cop.

So you can tell me if any of the kids

in your class are selling Quaaludes.

Oh-ho,

I am gonna rat out all the dealers.

Oh, look over there!

She's my best friend.

And I'm a little shorter than her.

And together

we're making sustained

eye contact with you guys.

-Yeah, we are.

-Hell, yeah.

Cafeteria Girls

Life is their tray-hey-hey! ♪

I really like the one

who's smaller than me.

Perfect, I'll take whatever.

-Hey, gals.

-Hey.

Hey, 'sup? 'Sup?

Obviously this is your first time

in the caf, right?

Yeah, like first or second, I would say.

-Well, the trash cans are by the door.

-Whoa.

And, um, a little tip. If you tell

the lunch lady you're diabetic,

she'll give you a tablespoon of raisins.

Shut up. Oh, my God, I love raisins.

My sick grandmother looks like a raisin.

-She's dying, so

-Really?

You know, I was just reading

that raisins are dried grapes.

This is Andrew.

Andrew Kent. Yeah.

I'm in the eighth grade,

and my name is Andrew Kent.

-That's a strong choice.

-But it worked. They think I'm rich.

-Well, I'm Izzy.

-Hi.

-And this is Misha.

-Hey.

-Hello.

-So

Um, since we're talking raisins,

you'll probably read

A Raisin in the Sun this year.

I could possibly give you my notes.

Um, that's awesome, and I could read them.

I'd give you my notes,

but I've drawn some very upsetting things

-in the margins.

-Andrew!

Imagine two things that could never

have sex with each other in real life.

My mom and dad.

- It's a tiger and a desk.

- Oh, my God!

Look at those little

seventh-grade gold diggers

trying to get that eighth-grade moolah.

Who cares if they're younger?

You're six months younger than me.

It's no big deal.

Jay, I was hoping

this would never come up,

but I'm actually, spoiler alert,

-six months older than you!

-What?

I was held back in kindergarten

because I did something so funny!

-Are you serious?

-Yeah.

That's awesome, actually. What did you do?

-Like, eat all the fish in the fish t*nk?

-No!

Wait! Did you accidentally bring

your mom's dildo in for show and tell?

-These sound like things you did!

-Babe--

You probably think

I'm as old as Father Time!

Are you kidding?

You're like a hot, sexy cougar.

I don't know. I guess I really do think

girls should be younger

than their boyfriends.

Oh, wait, did you jack off

to the long-fingernails guy

in the Guinness Book of World Records?

Jay, I'm not gonna tell you.

But it was hilarious.

Oh, my God, look at everyone's bags.

Those cost, like, $5,000!

It's cool, baby,

I went to Canal Street

and got you a Tucci bag.

It's like Gucci,

but instead it's Stanley Tucci.

I feel like people will know.

Welcome to eighth grade, you girlbosses.

So, what did you badasses get into

this summer? Dish!

Ooh, your teacher's cool!

Yeah, she's got a "Pod Save America"

sticker on her laptop.

India Jessica Parker, hi.

I honestly kept it pretty chill

this summer.

I did some light Alzheimer's research

at the CDC,

-but, like, barely.

-Whoa.

Greer Conway-Kleenex, hello.

My foundation rescued 20 women

who were going to be turned into glue.

I also won the New York City Marathon

competing against the adults,

not the kids.

Jesus, these girls are so impressive.

So are you! You put in a tampon!

We have a new young leader in our class.

-Jessi.

-Huh?

Why don't you tell us

what you accomplished this summer?

Oh, boy.

Hi. Um, Jessi Glaser.

This summer I went to camp. Um

They don't look impressed.

Tell 'em about the tampon.

-in Somalia.

-What?

It was a refugee camp.

And I was there teaching gymnastics.

Um, I do the splits.

Wait. So, they're doing gymnastics

at a refugee camp?

That is a good question, and I thank you.

Okay, this has been my time.

Why'd you lie, Jessi?

You can't do the splits.

Your tampon would sh**t out

like a Nerf dart.

Oh, God.

All right, this is the main hall.

- Wow.

- Don't use that water fountain.

- Lump deep throats the nozzle.

- I like the taste of rust.

Okay. Um, hey, Andrew,

can you help me open my locker?

Just 'cause we had cubbies last year,

so

Oh, sure, which one is this?

Oh, locker 243.

-Two-four-three, yeah.

-She's a little tricky.

-Wow.

-You just gotta find her special spot. Ow!

- Oh! I hit the pointy bone!

- My God, are you okay?

Just leave me alone, 'cause if I speak

right now, I'm gonna yell at you.

- I'm gonna barf!

- Andrew, you're doing so well.

-Do you guys have plans after school?

-Um

I was thinking maybe we could, like,

go get some coffee, or

Yeah! I mean, that sounds great,

but we're not allowed to have coffee.

Oh, well,

we'll get you a decaf, sweetheart.

-Okay.

-That means a decaffeinated.

Yeah, we'll go to Starbucks,

get a freezing-cold scone,

maybe a round of Horizon milks, on us,

and get to know each other

a little better.

I know the code for the bathroom.

I've used it before.

If you know what I mean.

Sounds like you pooped.

Ah, this one's got a little head

on her shoulders.

-It's a date.

-Or whatever.

All right, ladies, see you after school.

'Sup? I mean, bye.

Oh, my God.

-Stop, stop, stop!

-Eighth-grade freaking boys!

-Shut up!

-You shut up!

You cannot spaz out like you usually do.

Hey, I'm not gonna spaz out

if you promise not to sing.

Promises are made to be broken! ♪

Okay, homeroom was rough,

but I can do math.

Math is my thing.

But math is not my thing.

My thing is different.

What is your thing?

-My thing is Blue Man Group!

-Really?

Yeah, they're lean and blue and sexy

like Gumby.

But it's okay, I love you, baby.

I can stay for math.

It's fine. I don't need you here.

-Okay, bye!

-If you wanna.

And she's gone, okay. Alone.

Okay, now can anyone tell me

how inverse variables

might lay out here on the parabola?

Oh, my God, they're so far ahead.

This class is way too hard.

- I know, right?

- Yeah.

Oh, hello.

Or maybe it's just that

you're not very smart?

Ugh! That's kinda what

I've been worrying about.

And I don't mean to pile it on,

but have you noticed

how shiny Greer's hair is?

- Jessi?

- I have.

-Jessi!

-Hi! Yes! Present!

So, are you familiar

with Richter's theorem?

Don't say no!

They'll see how behind you are.

Oh, I am intimately familiar.

Great. Then why don't you

come on up to the smartboard

and solve this problem for us?

Um, I'd rather tell it to you

in private later.

Okay, well, I'd rather you showed

the whole class right now.

Okay, here I go.

You don't know Richter's theorem

or how to use a smartboard.

You're basically the Coach Steve

of this school.

Um, Mr. Doheny, I think

the refugee gymnast girl is crying.

- I'm not crying.

- If you don't know the answer, it's okay.

I just wanna say for the record,

I put in a tampon this summer.

I know it's not, like, PC to say, but I am

enjoying dating younger women.

God, they make me feel

twelve and a half again.

I got up this morning, and I did sit-ups.

I can't remember the last time I did that.

-What's, uh, with the jacket?

-You like it?

-Actually, no.

-The man at Goodwill said

the color's called "boy fudge." Eh?

He's "Professor Boyfriend" now.

Let's just say, I grade on a curve.

-That's the butt.

-Oh, here they come!

-Hey, guys.

-Ahoy, boys.

-Izzy, be cool.

-Okay. I am.

Ladies, I scored us this tall,

sticky table.

- There's coffee cake all over the chairs.

- Ew.

-Oh, my God. Misha likes sticky.

-Shut up.

Uh, a cup of water and six Splendas

for "Lo-Jay."

What the f*ck is this?

I asked for light ice!

-Ma'am, this is a free drink.

-Are you joking me right now?

Don't call me "ma'am."

I'm not an old lady!

-I wanna talk to your manager!

-I am the manager.

Well, then I wanna talk

to the guy below you

so we can commiserate about

what a f*cking c**t you are!

All right. Hey, Gary, come over here.

Would you look at this.

Nick and Andrew

and their seventh-grade snacks.

-Yum, yum!

-Jay!

Relax, babe,

why would I go out for Munchkins

when I got a doughnut machine at home?

Oh, my God, time to kiss the doughnuts!

America runs on Skumpy.

Holy snots, they're making out.

Yeah, they are.

Yeah, that's what couples do

in eighth grade,

or when, you know,

eighth-graders are with seventh-graders.

As long as

there's an eighth-grader present,

-frenching is on the menu.

-And this is pressure.

I'm totally down to French kiss,

Spanish fly,

-Dutch oven, fart in your mouth.

-Misha!

-Misha, slow your roll! ♪

-What?

Well, then, perhaps we should all go

to my house tomorrow after school.

Hmm. Yes, for "office hours."

Jesus, Professor Boyfriend,

I wanna f*ck you.

No, Andrew, for a classic

eighth-grade make-out party.

We're in, and we're totally

gonna win this thing, ya turds!

Oh, my God, you wish!

I can't wait. I'm so scared.

We love hanging out with older kids.

Older?

Sweetheart, I will hold you down

and spit in your mouth

like I did to that kid in kindergarten!

Oh, yeah? You'll spit

in my pretty little mouth?

I really like Misha.

Wait, babe, was spitting in

that kid's mouth what got you held back?

-No, Jay, it was way funnier than that!

-Ugh!

A big pile of napkins for Steve!

And these are decaf, right?

'Cause I don't wanna stay up all night

eating napkins.

Oh, man, is Greer flying

her dad's private jet?

Ugh, my dad doesn't even have

a private recumbent bike.

He shares it with a guy named Ian.

I just can't stop comparing and--

Despairing, I know! We should stop.

But then we'd have to get into

that homework you don't understand.

Yeah. Maybe I'll just look

-at one or two more.

-Good call.

Hey, guys, we're here at Starbucks

with our seventh-grade honeys!

Are you f*cking kidding?

"Seventh-grade honeys"?

Looks like everyone is moving on

and doing well without you.

Jay and Lola are dating now?

What's up, jerks?

I'm going to an exclusive

eighth-grade orgy

with my old lady tomorrow.

Oh, my God, don't call me old!

And tag me in that.

I have nothing and nobody.

-That's not true. You've got me.

-Right, right.

And a stress zit on your upper lip.

Oh, sh*t, is everyone gonna think

I have herpes now?

Oh, my God, you might.

And I sucked your blood.

You gave me herpes.

-What?

-Now I have to call my old partners.

Now, Nicky, you're gonna make sure

she achieves pleasure

before you do, right?

You got it, Elliot.

One full orgasm before you even kiss her.

But is that even possible?

Of course! Your father once gave me

an orgasm through a window.

I used a hair dryer and a CB radio.

Holy sh*t.

k*ll the boy and f*ck the parents.

I know, but shush.

So, tell us about this girl.

Do you like her?

Do you, Nicky?

Do you love her so much

you hate everyone else?

Yeah! I mean, no.

But yeah, Misha's you know…

-What is Misha again?

-sh*t, I don't know, short?

But the other one sings real nice.

Make my titties pop out.

Boop, boop.

Elliot, I think we should go upstairs.

Reading you loud and clear, big mama.

Hello, ladies.

Welcome to Tongue Town.

Population, four.

Oh, yeah?

Well, we just moved from Titty City.

We slid here on our own discharge.

How did they get here?

-Meesh!

-What?

Nick, you have a beautiful home.

Oh, thanks so much.

Okay, enough pleasantries.

Why don't you follow my fat ass over

to the sectional?

Oh, my God.

This is really happening, Lord ♪

-Stop. Shh!

-Stop!

They should sit close enough

so the boys can high-five.

Yeah, but back to back

so they don't make eye contact

and accidentally switch souls.

-So Leo DiCaprio and Lukas Haas rules?

-Oh, classic p*ssy Posse.

Rest in p*ssy, boys.

Rest in p*ssy.

I keep reading the same paragraph,

and it makes less and less sense.

-Can I point something out?

-Please.

-Everything's kinda crumbling around you.

-Uh-huh.

And you're lying to everyone,

and so you're going to have to remember

-all those lies.

-Yeah.

That doesn't feel good, right?

Go away, Mom, I'm studying!

Hello, Jessi.

It's been too long.

Oh, sh*t.

Kitty Beaumont Bouchet, is that you?

Tito Taylor Thomas, as I live and breathe!

You guys know each other?

Oh, we've been working together for ages.

Remember Van Gogh?

I feel crazy!

Oh, my God.

I still have his earlobe in my locket!

Can you two please stop?

I'm trying to study.

Aw, you know what helps me study?

Sleeping.

Yeah, I do feel pretty exhausted.

Or even better,

you could stare at the ceiling

and replay all the embarrassing things

that happened at school.

-I'm already there.

-It is so nice

to be working together again.

It doesn't even feel like work.

We're just, you know

Emotionally crippling

a young woman. Jinx!

I was laughing before

that you're blazing in that sweater

whilst I'm sweating through this blazer.

I'm filled with all sorts

of delightful observations.

Yeah.

Your breath smells like tuna fish ♪

For your information,

he just drank the water out of the can.

That's why he's got a big cut

on his tongue.

Uh

Misha, what are you doing

with your fingers?

Yeah, you like that?

-No, you do not!

-I don't know if I do.

I can feel your cavities, you like that?

Hey, sorry! Andrew,

do you have to go to the bathroom?

Indeed! Yes! Why don't you follow

my fat ass to the powder room?

Ladies, we'll be right back.

Okay, better hurry up.

The corner of this couch

is looking pretty good.

Oh, happy birthday, Mr. Sofa.

Hey. So I'm finding Misha

a little terrifying.

Really? 'Cause I wanna be the corner

of that couch right now.

And Izzy's kind of annoying.

Really? I like how she sings everything.

Ah! Should we

I mean, switch?

-f*ck, yes!

-Yes!

The little one's gonna suck every drop

of tuna water out of you.

And the tall one's gonna write a song

about Nick.

Yeah, but she's not gonna sing it.

She's not a singer.

-It's true, the voice isn't there.

-Yeah.

But her talent lies with songwriting.

I'm okay with switching if you are.

I think it's a great idea.

If we're both in agreement,

then I think that covers everybody.

The motion passes!

-And I do for real have to go.

-Okay.

What do you think,

is an old baby-food jar full of olive oil

a good gift for a make-out party?

Honestly, yes, but I'm so not into this.

Babe, it's gonna be fun.

You know I want everybody to watch

while I tongue your throat clit

with my mouth d*ck.

First of all,

I want that on a T-shirt yesterday.

But I just don't feel like passing

the so-called day

with those seventh-grade skanks.

How many times do I have to tell you,

it's hot that you're old!

Stop calling me old!

Stop being sad!

Stop telling me how to feel!

Babe! f*ck!

Why does being a hot cougar woman

make you so sad?

Because I'm older

than I normally should be.

And even though I was held back

for a really funny reason,

one that would, like, redefine comedy,

it feels, like, bad

to be the oldest in our grade!

Oh, wow.

I guess I had no idea

you had so many feelings.

-Yeah.

-That must suck.

Exactly. So it's like--

Babe, just the sound of your voice

makes me horny.

You know exactly what to say.

Will you please tell me

why you got held back?

Yes, the time has come

for ultimate hilarity.

Okay. Oh, my God.

So, like, one day, at recess

Oh, my God, I am, like,

not gonna be able to get through this.

I intentionally tripped a kid

on the playground.

Think fast, Isaac!

And a metal spike pierced his skull

and went, like, deep into his brain.

Jesus, babe

That is so f*cking hilarious!

What an idiot!

I know!

When it happened, I was like,

a real record-scratch moment.

Yeah, I bet it was. Did he f*cking die?

Honestly, if I tell you,

it won't be as funny.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't ruin it.

Don't ruin this. Come here.

Breaker, breaker, one nine.

We've got a southbound climax

- right on the center divider.

- Oh, Elliot! Ten-four, good buddy!

Just made my wife cum, over.

Copy that, Elliot. I just made it

to Flagstaff. Over and out.

Hello, Misha. Make room.

Did you meesh me?

-What?

-Oh, look where we find ourselves.

This feels better, doesn't it?

What are you doing?

I'm supposed to be with Andrew.

Oh, no, no, no. It's cool.

We realized that I should be with you,

and Andrew should be with Misha.

You see, we hated it the other way.

Oh, you-- you-- you hated it?

Yep, that's why we switched.

What about what we think?

Oh, well, I hate to do this 'cause, like,

it's just kind of gauche,

but it is our show, so

Your show?

-Yeah, Big Mouth.

-Okay.

You guys are literally on our show.

-What?

-Uh, Cafeteria Girls.

Cafeteria Girls♪

Kissing's off the menu ♪

Who's cheering?

And you know what?

We might just be seventh-graders,

Andrew Kent,

but you, Andrew, can't make out with us.

Well, joke's on you, sweetheart,

'cause that was a fake name.

I f*cking lied to you.

-Now who's booing us?

-Yeah, what's going on?

Turn the lights on, Bobby!

- They don't have a ceiling.

- That's right, bitch!

Our show's sh*t in front

of a live studio audience!

-It is?

-But this is my living room.

Go get 'em, Meesh!

Orange County loves you!

And surprise, you guys are totally gross,

and everybody knows it.

Yeah, I used to want to yum-yum

on Nick's pelvic thumb--

-I know, f*ck gremlin.

-f*ck gremlin?

But now I wanna tear out his spine

and shove it up my ass.

I guess she's their hormone monster?

I'm a handful!

And yeah, we're younger,

but we're learning.

-And you know what we learned this week?

-Uh

We wanna go out with nice guys,

not sloppy Joes!

My f*ck blazer is ruined!

Where did they get sloppy Joes?

From Lunch Lady Eve, of course.

They drawed a bow on top of my head.

So

Eve, I love you!

I love you too! Who said that?

Now let's go home

and see how much of your grandma's cane

we can fit up your p*ssy!

School's out, dorks!

I don't think you could handle another day

at school.

I know. But I have to try, right?

-Do you?

-Don't go in there. It's too hard!

That's the new girl, Jessi, right?

There's no way she's gonna last.

Jessi, what is this supposed to be?

Um, my homework.

Oh, really? Because it looks like

you took a dump on a piece of paper

-and turned it in.

-What?

-That's not gonna fly here.

-No, I tried really hard!

Miss Glaser, they're here for you.

Who's here for me?

It's the Dummy Truck for losers, Jessi.

It's here to take you away

to Dipshit Town.

-No.

-You can't lie your way

out of this one, moron.

-Fart! Whoo!

-Did you just say "fart"?

I'm really dumb!

I don't wanna go to Dipshit Town!

Sorry, my dude, those are the breaks!

Are these the brakes?

Where are the brakes?

Okay, yeah,

I'm definitely not going in there.

Of course you're not.

It's not a safe place for a dummy loser.

Wanna walk down to Union Square

and watch them break down

a farmers market?

No.

- But I will.

- Good girl.

We literally just broke up with

our eighth-grade boyfriends.

They're

so immature, it's crazy!

Oh, you're gonna shuck this boy's nuts out

of his sack

and eat it with cocktail sauce.

Welcome to the yacht club, baby!

Cafeteria Girls

A second helping of friendship ♪

I'm a handful!

Wow, I'm beginning to think

we're not the center of the universe.

I guess we have to start treating girls

like they're the stars of their own show.

Yeah, but, you know, like,

what's the target audience

for Cafeteria Girls?

I know!

I mean, the main characters

are kids, but the show is so filthy.

It's too much. And I like dirty stuff.

That f*ck gremlin is really unpleasant.

It's uncalled for.

-You don't need to be gross to be funny.

-You said it, Maury.

All right, I'm gonna go have sex

with poop, then eat it.

-Sure.

-Then sh*t it out

-and then f*ck my own ass with it.

-Okay, God bless.

Oh, should we unroll a chocolate croissant

and just eat the chocolate?

Yes. That is a perfect idea.

Oh, skipping school.

-What?

-Bad girl.

-No, I, um

-Relax.

-I'm just--

-Relax, I'm skipping too.

You learn more in the real world

than you ever could in a classroom.

Totally, yeah. That's true.

I'm Michael Angelo, by the way.

Like the artist, not the ninja frog.

You mean turtle?

Yeah. I like you.

Would you let me sketch you?

Okay.

Cowabung-hole!

- No, I hate water!

- I can't swim!

I'm riding a wave of my own discharge!

You're back!

Of course, this boy is hot!

Talk to him!

Hi! Hello, I'm Jessi.

Why did I curtsy?

'Cause you're getting an eyeline

on that d*ck.

-Wanna have a seat?

-Yes, please!

Right on his f*cking face!

Okay, where should I put my backpack?

On my lap? On my head?

Just kidding. f*ck.

Whatever you do is perfect.

Oooh!

Breaker, breaker, one nine,

I just came again.

Copy that, Connie,

I just made it to San Diego.

First time seeing the ocean.

Boy, it is beautiful.

Cafeteria Girls

Life is their tray-hey-hey! ♪

They're saving you a seat at the table ♪

It's all fish sticks, friends and fun ♪

And they're doling out laughs

By the ladle ♪

They got your midday blues on the run ♪

Lunch Lady Eve will be wearing a dress ♪

And the f*ck gremlin

Will be bringing the sex ♪

I'm a handful.

Cafeteria Girls

Life is their tray-hey-hey! ♪

Ooooh ♪

Fathouse.

"Good at Bizness."

Chirp.