01x01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

So, you just heat it up at 300
and leave it in for 35 minutes.

Thanks, Karen.
But you really don't have to keep...

It's my take on Mexican lasagna.

Great.

It's nothing. We just don't want you
to think you're alone.

- Mmm.
- Jeff and I are here for you,

if you ever wanna talk.

Thanks.

Just can't imagine
what you're going through.

Well, it's like if Jeff got hit by a car
and d*ed suddenly and violently.

Like that.

Right.

Well, you get that dish back to me
whenever you can...

Yup. Gonna get right on it.

♪ Forget your troubles
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪

♪ The sun is shining
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ The Lord is waiting to take your hand ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy ♪

♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪

♪ Forget your troubles
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Chase your cares away ♪

♪ Shout... ♪

Oh.

f*ck.

God.

I'd skip the coffee. It's terrible.

I made it.

Hmm? Oh.

I'm sorry.

- No. I'm just kidding.
- Hmm?

- I'm just kidding.
- Oh.

I'm Judy.

- Hi. Jen.
- Hi.

Hi.

You come to this group often?

Uh... No. This is my first time here.

- Me, too.
- Oh.

Sorry. I hope this isn't weird.

Do you do real estate?

I feel like I've seen your face
on, like, a... a bus bench?

You and a cute gay guy?

- Yeah.
- What?

Yeah, that's me.

With Christopher, who does not think
he looks gay in that picture.

I didn't mean that in a bad way.
I think gay is beautiful.

Which bench did you see?

Oh, I think it's the one
where you're like...

Oh, no.

No? And he's like...

No, no, no.
I guess I just mean where do you live?

Oh, my gosh.

Sorry. Newport Beach.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- You live... You live in Newport?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. I don't think I belong there either.

- Not a bad thing to not belong there.
- Right.

But if you ever need
a real estate agent, just...

- Oh, wow. Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

- I might.
- Okay.

Sorry.

I hope this isn't weird.

Can I give you a hug?

No.

Okay.

Well, looks like we have
some new people here today.

Hi. I'm Judy.

- Hi, Judy.
- Hey, Judy.

- Uh-uh. That's okay.
- All right.

Well, welcome to Friends of Heaven.
I'm Pastor Wayne.

As some of you know,
I like to start out our grief circle

by talking about a loss I lived through
that got me into this work.

My aunt fell down a flight of stairs
and cracked her head open and bled out

as her five-year-old son watched,

and I was the one that asked her
to get me a soda from the basement.

So, I live with that.

And that's a little something about me.

Oh, my God.

I appreciate that.

Is there a loss you've had
that you'd like to share with us today?

Uh...

Yeah. I lost my fiancé eight weeks ago.

Um...

It was really sudden.

One minute, we were eating dinner
and then the next, he was gone.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

- Heart att*ck?
- Yeah. He was 44.

Oh, that sucks. Sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing that.

So, last week, we started talking about...

the F-word.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness can be very difficult,
and it can take time, even a lifetime.

But no matter what the circumstances,
everyone is deserving of forgiveness.

You really think that?

Jesus thought that.

Amen.

Um, excuse me. Um...

How do you forgive someone
who hits your husband with their car,

and then drives away, leaving him
to bleed to death on the side of the road?

How do you forgive that?

No, that's it.

Don't really wanna get into it,
so someone else can go.

At your own pace.

It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling,
sad, angry, defensive...

I'm not defensive. Okay?

I'm tired.

I'm tired, too.

Can you tell us more about that?

Oh, yeah. I just haven't been sleeping.

You know, I've never been
a very good sleeper, anyway, but...

since Ted d*ed, not at all.

I mean, not naturally, anyway, but...

And I'm not gonna take pills.

I was not a pill person
and I have two kids, two boys, who...

who need me, and so,
I'm not gonna be one of those, like,

Xanax Ambien zombie moms, you know.

Hey. Hey!

Oh, hey.

Uh...

I'm up all night.

Feel free to call me.
We can... not sleep together.

It's supposed to be Mexican lasagna.

Why are there raisins in this?

- I honestly don't know.
- I like it.

- I'm sick of other people's food.
- Me, too.

I miss Dad's cooking.

Me, too.

It's just so not fair.

Like, why did our dad have to die?
Why didn't...

Tyler's dad die? Rick.
That guy's a twatwaffle.

I like Rick.

- You have to wait till I'm asleep.
- Mm-hmm.

All the way asleep.

I know, Boop.

- Mommy?
- Yup?

- I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.
- No kidding.

I wanna go to work with you.

Oh, sweetie, I know, but we just can't
do that anymore, okay?

I mean, it's been three months, and...

I think it's just time for us
to go back to normal.

- But I wanna be with you.
- I know.

I know, baby.

You know, what happened
to your dad was an accident.

- As far as we know.
- Charlie, please.

What happened to your dad
was a freak accident.

And nothing like that
is gonna happen to me, okay?

I promise you.

No, it's not that.

I'm not worried
something's gonna happen to you.

No?

Well, then what are you worried about?

I just don't want you to be alone.

Okay.

Hello?

Uh... Judy?

Yeah?

It's... It's Jen from...

from the grief group thing.

Hi.

I'm sorry. I don't... I don't even know
why I'm calling you.

No, no. God, come on.
I told you you could.

- Is it too late?
- No.

- Are you in bed?
- Uh, yeah.

- What are you wearing?
- Huh?

What are you wearing?

Um...

A pair of my husband's sweatpants

and a T-shirt he got
for running a 5K for...

psoriasis.

Mm.

Slower.

You're a weird person, Judy.

Thank you.

Did your husband really like running?
Or did he just hate psoriasis?

I'm sorry. You don't have to talk
about him if you don't want to.

Uh, no, no. He... He liked running.

Came to it later in life. He was 40.

- What made him start?
- He was gettin' doughy.

- Oh, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Men get that middle-aged man puff.

Yeah. I mean, he had a full-on beer belly.

He was getting a beer neck.

Beer neck?

So, he started running.

I was proud of him.

He was in the best shape
of his life, when...

when the car hit him.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

Are you... Are you eating something?

Mm-hmm.

It's an Entenmann's chocolate chip cookie.
You know, the little one?

Why, yes, I do.

Oh, he was...

He was always a really good musician,
even then.

He was the only guy
I knew who liked Ani DiFranco.

Oh, I love Ani.

Well, I haven't talked about him much
since he d*ed.

- Well, we can stop. I don't wanna pry.
- No. It's...

It's nice.

Did you get it?

- Is that him?
- No, that's my other husband.

Oh, you have another one?
Then you're fine.

Yeah, but if something happens
to him, then...

Excuse me.

I heard that.

You should ride that wave and go to sleep.

No, I want a picture of Steve.

I'd have to look.

Found some.

Jeez. Okay.

Hold on.

Oh, my God.

- Is that your house?
- Yeah.

Harbor Ridge?

- Yup.
- It's a lovely home.

He was very handsome.

Thanks.

Yeah, I always thought he had
kind of a JFK Jr. vibe.

God!

JFK Jr. was so hot.

- So hot.
- And then just so sad.

So sad.

So f*cked up.

- You're tired.
- Oh, yeah.

I think I am. You're not?

No. But... I'll let you go.

No, no, no. No.

Would you...

Would you mind waiting
until I fall asleep?

Uh...

Okay.

I mean, like...

Like all the way asleep?

Sure, of course.

Thank you.

All right.

- Do you want me to keep talking?
- No, 'cause then I can't fall asleep.

Oh. Okay. Right.

♪ Well, it's been building up
Inside of me ♪

♪ For, oh, I don't know how long ♪

Okay?

♪ I don't know why, but I keep thinking
Something's bound... ♪

Hey.

Oh, Judy.

♪ But she looks in my eyes ♪

♪ And makes me realize ♪

- ♪ And she says, don't worry, baby ♪
- ♪ Don't worry, baby ♪

- ♪ Don't worry, baby ♪
- ♪ Everything will turn out all right... ♪

♪ Don't worry, baby ♪

Psst!

♪ She told me
Baby, when you race today ♪

♪ Just take along my love with you... ♪

I mean, if I knew it was the end,
I would start smoking immediately.

Oh, my God. Yes.

- Right?
- Immediately.

Smoking is the greatest thing
that slowly kills you.

It's the greatest.

- I would.
- Ooh!

- But I need something...
- Facts of Life is on.

What? What channel?

Three-ninety-one.

Three-ninety-one.

Now, promise me you won't tell.

God, I used to love this show.

- Loved it.
- You're just jealous because I...

How did I not know
this was on every night?

More importantly, why are the other girls
15 and Tootie is, like, nine?

I don't know.

Has anyone ever told you
you're kind of a Blair?

What? f*ck you.

- Seriously, f*ck you.
- Why?

I'm a Jo.

How are you a Jo?

I'm sitting in your outdoor living room,
watching TV next to your hot tub.

- Feeling a little Blair-y.
- I'm a f*cking Jo!

- Okay!
- Why?

- Who are you?
- I'm a Tootie.

It's layered.

- How are you a Jo?
- 'Cause I'm tough.

I'm from Brooklyn.

- You're from Brooklyn?
- Mm-hmm.

How did I not know that?
You don't sound like you're from Brooklyn.

Oh, I used to have an accent.

- What'd you sound like?
- Like someone from Brooklyn.

Like what?

Like this.

- That is fantastic.
- I hate you.

- You are a Jo.
- Yeah.

- Such a Jo.
- Yeah, man, I'm a piece of work.

According to my business partner,
Christopher, my anger is an "issue."

Personally,

I think that your anger is understandable.

Well, you haven't been
on the receiving end of it.

I mean... there are
healthier ways of channeling it.

- Like meditation.
- I meditate.

In my own way.

♪ You f*cking prick, drop dead ♪

♪ You make me sick ♪

♪ Get out of my head! ♪

♪ You're the light ♪

♪ I'm the ghost, you're the night ♪

♪ I'm the shadow, you're the light ♪

Do you do this a lot?

Oh...

No, just every time I see a person-sized
dent in the front bumper of a car.

Okay.

The cops say that hit-and-runs
are almost impossible to solve, so...

But you feel like maybe you might find
the person this way?

Nope.

But it makes you feel better?

Not really.

I have an idea.

What are you doing?

- It's legal. Relax.
- Oh, right.

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm just not... not really a dr*gs person.

It's not dr*gs. It's a plant.

And it will help you sleep.

Mm-hmm.

Um... You totally smoke pot.

All right. I did with Ted, but it's...
I mean, it's been years.

Well, I'm happy to reacquaint you.

Oh, yeah.

You immediately feel nice.

Yeah.

Can I say something weird?

Please.

Thank you.

For what?

I don't know. Just for
coming into my life, I guess, like...

some weird little pot fairy.

And also just for not...

saying and doing the same stupid sh*t

that everybody says and does that just...

makes you feel more alone
than you already are, you know?

And for not being repulsed
by my version of grief.

Thank you.

- For the same.
- Mm-hmm.

I know that it must be hard for you to be
alone in that big house without Steve.

It is.

It's really hard.

I miss him.

I know.

I know you know.

- Light's out.
- You probably shouldn't have anymore.

- I don't think so, 'cause I...
- Yeah.

...can't feel my tongue.

You're so f*cking high!

f*ck.

Why did you give that to me?

I think I just peed!

Wait, I have to check.

- Oh, my God.
- No, I didn't.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Good evening.

Good evening.

- Shall I come over?
- Nope, because I'm coming to you.

What?

Come on.
You've been coming to me this whole time.

You don't even know where I live.

Oh, yes, I do.

And I'm pulling up right now.

Judy!

Can I help you?

You're Steve.

Yeah.

You're alive.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. It's 11:30 at night.

What's... What's happening? Do I know you?

No. I, uh...

heard a lot...

...about you.

Is Judy here?

Judy doesn't live here anymore.

- She doesn't?
- No. We broke up two months ago.

Wow.

This is, uh...

Wow.

Hey, Jen. Um, I can explain.
Please call me back.

I'm so sorry. Please.
Please, please let me explain.

Wait. How do you know Judy?

- I thought she was a friend.
- Okay.

If you see her, can you tell her to stop
coming around here while I'm at work?

I'm gonna change the locks.

I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm... I'm so sorry to bother you.

It's all right. I just gotta go.
I'm running a bath.

Okay.

You know, um...

maybe it's better
if she doesn't know where you live.

Seller's market.

Again, I'm... I'm so sorry.

What the f*ck? Huh?

- Jen, please.
- What?

- Please. I can explain.
- Okay. Do.

- What is going on?
- Why don't you tell them what's going on?

- No. I...
- Guess Kate and Allie are having trouble.

- It's very complicated.
- No. It's not complicated.

Her... fiancé is not dead, okay?

I mean, unless that was his ghost
who answered the door last night,

because that...
that would be f*cking complicated.

But it's not complicated, Judy,
because he's not f*cking dead!

What the f*ck? What, do you get off

pretending you're going through
the same thing I am?

- No. Of course not.
- No?

Is this a game you're playing with me,
with everybody else?

Making up that whole f*cking story?

You don't belong here
because he's not f*cking dead, Judy.

He broke up with you!

Probably 'cause you're a f*cking lunatic
who lies about him f*cking being dead.

- Jen, please settle down.
- Let her talk.

I don't wanna let her talk, Kyle!

Oh, now, see, this is getting real.
Judy, you go ahead, honey.

I don't know what to say.

Oh, my God. That was so powerful.
Right, guys? Right?

Jen, I'm so sorry.

You have no idea.

I...

I'm sorry to all of you. I really am. I...

I don't know why. I wasn't trying
to pull anything or to hurt anyone.

I never meant to hurt anyone.
I swear to God.

I just...

It's true.

Steve... is alive.

- Yeah, not dead. Alive.
- Yeah.

He didn't die two months ago.
But I did lose him,

because he broke up with me.

- Oh, my God. That is not the same!
- I know.

I know.

It's just,
he broke up with me because I...

He broke up with me
because we really wanted to have kids.

And we tried,
and we tried for years, and...

I couldn't.

I just kept having miscarriages.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

Let's get you to your room.

That was my fifth one.

I really thought that I was
gonna have a baby and a family.

And then to find out that there's just
something that's broken inside of me...

I think just going through all that,

it messed me up a little bit.

I swear, I'm not a bad person.

I'm really not. I...

It doesn't matter.

I should have never come here.

Jen, I'm so sorry that I hurt you.

It's the last thing that I wanted to do.

I really cherish our friendship.

No, I really do.

sh*t! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Jesus Christ.

That is a sad story.

Yeah, if you believe it.

What's wrong with you?

Me?

- What about her?
- Yeah.

Find a different group, Judy.

f*ck, yeah, Linda. Thank you.

Jen, Judy's in pain,
and I know that you are, too,

but that doesn't make it okay for you
to att*ck someone like that.

Don't y'all hang out all the time?

How did you not know any of that?

I don't know.

Well, either way, Judy has every right
to sit in this circle.

Yeah. I mean, in a way,
her life is sadder than all of ours.

Oh, God. She lied, man.

Jen, everyone's grief
manifests in different ways.

Judy lied.
You flew into this terrifying rage.

We are all doing our best,

but you've got to start
reconciling that anger inside of you.

Don't let it cause you more grief
than you already have.

♪ Oh, God ♪

♪ You make me sick ♪

The bad news is,
I may have gone overboard.

Like, on some of my stories,
I might have exaggerated a little,

especially about Mrs. Garrett being drunk.

- f*ckin' Tootie.
- She had her eyeballs diluted.

- Oh, she's right that way.
- Thank you.

Hey.

Hi.

- You could have just told me.
- I know.

I just thought... But I didn't, so...

I should have, but I didn't.
I don't know why.

Because you have issues.

- You have no idea.
- Yeah, well, I have them, too.

- Well, you're allowed.
- So are you, Judy.

I mean...

okay, it's weird...

that you lied about Steve.

I mean, it's... it's f*cked up,
you know, but...

maybe it's easier to lie about that
than it is to...

to just tell the truth
about the other stuff.

Maybe.

I'm really sorry that I said
you didn't belong.

And you've... you've lost a lot, too.

But they were just miscarriages.
It wasn't like I have actually...

Well, I think it is an actual... thing.

I mean, not if a Republican is asking.
But...

you heard a heartbeat.

And you fell in love in that heartbeat.

Yeah.

Come on.
I have tissues and whiskey in my room.

- You live here?
- Yeah.

Here?

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

So, this is where you were whenever
we would talk on the phone, huh?

Yeah.

They're letting me stay here
till I find a place.

Rooms open up all the time.

Oh, I'll bet.

- God, the smell in here.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

But you get used to it.

Oh, okay.

I didn't think
you were ever gonna talk to me again.

- You were so angry.
- I told you you wouldn't like it.

I did not.

- It was a little scary.
- I'm sorry.

Look, um...

my guesthouse is open.

Um... It used to be Ted's
music studio, but...

but he's... he's not using it. Um...

But you're welcome to.

Welcome to what?

To come and stay with us.

Wow, that's very generous.

But you don't have to take pity on me

just because I'm a 41-year-old
barren woman

sleeping in an assisted living facility.

Yes, I do.

Seriously, come.

It'd be nice having you there.

Thank you.

- Now can I give you a hug?
- No.

Come here.

That's good.

- You're a good hugger.
- Aww.

All right.

Here we go.

Told you.

♪ Forget your troubles
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪

♪ The sun is shining
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ The Lord is waiting to take your hand ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ We're going to the promised land ♪

♪ We're heading 'cross the river ♪

♪ Wash our sins away in the tide ♪

♪ It's all so peaceful on the other side ♪

♪ Forget your troubles
Come on, get happy ♪

♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah
Come on, get happy... ♪