02x09 - It's Not You, It's Me

[bunniefuu]

♪ Kiss me once, then kiss me twice ♪

♪ Kiss me once again ♪

♪ It's been a long, long time... ♪

Morning.

Hey.

♪ Haven't felt like this, my dear
Since can't remember when ♪

I can't believe I'm here.

Me neither.

♪ You'll never know how many dreams
I dreamed about you... ♪

How'd you sleep?

- Good.
- Good.

- Yeah.
- Good.

Good.

♪ So kiss me once, kiss me twice ♪

♪ Kiss me once again ♪

♪ It's been a long, long time... ♪

I have to shower.

sh*t.

♪ It's been a long, long time... ♪

Right there.

Okay, you're good.

Come on.

Oh, my God, you're a f*cking...
you're a f*cking psychopath.

You are a f*cking full-on f*cking
Taxi Driver f*cking psychopath!

What the f*ck is the wrong with you?
f*ck you!

- You okay in there?
- Yep.

f*cking... you're f*cking De Niro.

You're just f*cking De Niro
in every movie he's f*cking ever been in.

♪...long time ♪

Hi, Mom.

Hey.

Let me look at you.

Judy Anne, you haven't changed at all.

You look good.

You're still so beautiful.

Oh, come on.

- I know I look like a bag of day-old sh*t.
- No.

You're really pulling off that jumpsuit.
It's very on-trend.

Oh, well, working with what I got.

I'm, uh... What's that book?

Leaning In.

I don't think that's what
that book's about, but...

Yeah. Haven't read it.

Me neither.

Why are you here?

I, um, I lost some people recently.

And I just didn't want any more time
to go by before I saw you again.

You're my mother.

And I miss you.

Aww, I miss you, too.

It's... it's been 15 years.

Part of me thought
I'd never see you again.

I just figured you didn't want anything
to do with me.

Mom...

I sent you all those letters.

I kept trying.

I just thought that you didn't want
to see me.

I wrote you back.

You did?

Of course.

I never got 'em.

- And then you never called me, so I just...
- No, don't. Come on, don't.

Look, you did the right thing,
staying away.

And I never worried about you.

The world has always loved taking care
of you.

With that face.

How long are you gonna be in here
this time?

I don't know. Could be five, could be ten.

I haven't decided.

But I'm all right.

Really, I'm good.

I'm sober.

This is actually the most peace I've felt
in a long time.

- Really?
- Mmm.

You know how exhausting it is
to hide and lie all the time?

I got here,

it was like I could finally exhale.

Right.

It's not the worst thing,

paying the price.

Yeah.

I could see how that would be a relief.

Hi. I'm still here.

You are.

And you're freaking out.

No. I'm not.

Yeah, feels like you are a little bit.

And I get it.

You're with somebody new,
and it's scary and weird.

I think all we can really do is...

dance it out.

No, what?

- I think we should dance it out.
- Um...

Come on, little lady.

Yeah, that's what we're gonna do.

- Let's move together.
- What are we doing?

♪ You're wigging out ♪

♪ Baby, that's all right ♪

♪ It's normal to spin out
When someone new spends the night ♪

♪ Especially when
He's a nerdy chiropractor ♪

♪ Well, maybe it'll help
If you knew just one factor ♪

♪ He thinks you're incredible ♪

♪ And... ♪

I'm coming up short
with a rhyme for "incredible."

- I can't do this.
- "Indelible." There it is.

Please, Ben, I'm...

I'm sorry. This was just a huge mistake.

What? Why?

It... it doesn't matter why.

It matters to me,
'cause I don't think it was a mistake.

I feel like I've waited my whole life
to meet someone like you.

Someone who challenges me
and shows up...

and is this amazing combination
of kind and strong and...

beautiful.

I mean, really beautiful.

Inside and out.

Ben, seriously.

- Oh, God.
- Jen, what...

No, you have no clue who I really am.

And you deserve that person
that you just described.

And I assure you, it is...

...it's not me.

Jen, this is...

This is crazy.
What are you talking about? We just...

Help me understand.

Is this because it's too soon
after your husband...

- No.
- ...or what is it?

No, it's not.

- Okay, can we at least talk about it...
- No, we can't, we f*cking can't, okay?

Just, please, just...

Please just go.

Okay.

Okay, please.

You know, I don't know...

what is going on with you, but...

I really hope that someday
you can see yourself the way I see you.

'Cause it's pretty...

it's pretty special.

f*ck.

Hey, Ben.

Oh. Hey, Charlie.

I was just leaving.

Everything okay?

Yeah, all good. I was just, um...

having a meeting with your mom.
A morning meeting.

Uh-huh.

Uh... it's over.

Hey, uh...

you take good care of yourself, okay?

Okay.

And, um...

you take good care of your mom, too.

Sure.

- You're living in Laguna? Fancy. Fancy.
- Mm-hmm.

Who's the fella?

Oh. No, no fella.

I live with my friend Jen
and her two boys, Charlie and Henry.

Oh. You don't have your own family?

No.

But I have them.

Hmm. Well, motherhood's overrated anyway.

Two minutes.

Oh, Frankie,
can't I just get a little bit more?

I'm catching up with my daughter.
Isn't she beautiful?

I see the resemblance.

You can have five minutes, just this once.

Thanks.
Don't think I didn't notice that haircut.

- I don't know how you do it.
- Mnh-mnh.

And still making friends
everywhere you go.

Mmm. You need 'em in this place.

How'd you end up back here?

I can't really talk about it.

But it's the system.

Once you go in, they make it almost
impossible for you not to come back.

Right.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Look...

you were a kid.

They shouldn't have let you testify.

I think about it all the time.

I just...

I had to tell the truth.

Yeah.

You didn't know better.

Look, that's in the past.

Let's live for the future.

All right.

I'd really like to see you more, Mom.

Oh, baby, I'd like that too.

Rumor has it,
I have a parole hearing coming up.

Maybe I'll get out sooner than later.

Really?

Especially if I have a lawyer this time
who didn't get his degree at Costco.

- But good attorneys don't come cheap.
- No.

God, I would love to help you, Mom,
but I don't have any money.

Oh, no, no, look,

if you can't show up for me like that,
you can't.

Well, maybe I can try.

That would mean a lot.

Morning.

- Hey, Mom.
- Hello.

So I saw Ben
coming down the stairs earlier.

Ben was here?

Uh, yeah, he was here for just a second
to talk about some real estate stuff.

In your bedroom?

Yes.

Well, he seemed upset when he left.

He did?

Yeah.

Oh, shut up!

I didn't say anything.

No, honey, I'm sorry.
It's not you, it's...

The city council
denied my stop sign petition.

- Seriously?
- Why?

I don't know, it doesn't say.

It's just an impersonal rejection
from some faceless assholes.

So that's it?
We did all that work for nothing?

No. That's not it.

- Where are you going?
- To make them tell me to my face.

- Can I come with you?
- Uh, no, you may not.

You are gonna finish your breakfast,
and when you're done eating,

you're gonna take your bowl
to the dishwasher for once in your life.

I'm on your side. Why are you mad at me?

I'm not, I'm just covering my bases.

I mean, I've done the research,

and the numbers are very compelling.

I'm just very passionate about this.

So I think, in terms of medians...

we shouldn't.

Hi. Jen Harding,

real estate agent, mom,
and I am here to say no.

To medians?

No, to you.

I beg your pardon.

I submitted a proposal for a stop sign

that was just rejected by this council,

so I am here to reject your rejection.

Well, I'm sorry,
but this is the median hearing.

Well, now we're gonna
talk about stop signs.

Well, unfortunately,
that request was denied

because stop signs slow down traffic.

Uh, that's the point.

After review, the board actually felt
that it could do more harm than good.

I'm sorry,

who's a stop sign gonna harm?

Except for some assh*le who bought a Lambo

to compensate for his micro d*ck?

Miss, we really don't need
that kind of language.

Okay...

Please don't call me "miss."
That is annoying.

I'm a full-grown f*cking woman,

and I have a teenage son
who's about to get his driver's license,

and I am trying to protect him

and make this neighborhood safer for him

and for all of you.

You know, Mrs. Harding,

I find it interesting
that you're so concerned

about keeping your neighbors safe.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

Yeah, we met. The name's Andrew.

Andrew Peters.

You might remember me from when you
offered me a free estimate on my house

and then assaulted me.

Get the f*ck off me!

No means m*therf*cking no.

You bitch!

You almost broke my nose.

I should have hit you harder.

Excuse me?

Well, you may remember

that the reason I tried to break your nose

is 'cause you were trying
to force yourself on me

after I repeatedly said no.

And I said no to you,
not just because you are f*cking gross...

but because I had just lost my husband,

and the last thing that I needed

was to be molested
by some smug, horny prick.

That's not what happened.

Well, could have used
a stop sign that day, huh?

Yeah.

And if there had been a stop sign

on the road where my husband was k*lled...

he might be alive today.

And my boys would still have their father.

And our world wouldn't have fallen apart.

Mrs. Harding, though I'm sorry
to hear about your husband's death,

we don't know that a stop sign
could have saved him.

No, we don't.

But it's one stop sign.

And if there is a chance
of saving someone else

from having to feel how I feel every day
of my life,

then trust me, it is worth it.

Because I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Even you.

Hi.

Miss Hale.

- I think you can call me Judy by now.
- I don't.

Okay. I brought you something.

It's Flo.

I heard she's feeling better.
I mean, not from Michelle,

because she won't return my texts,
which is really hurtful,

- but I...
- Seriously?

Sorry.

Thank you for this.

You're welcome.

I was also hoping that
maybe you could do me a favor.

You think you're in a position
to ask me for favors?

Probably not, but it's about my paintings.
I'm just looking for them.

There's a whole collection of little girls
with holes in their hearts.

- Okay.
- I know it sounds weird,

but they're worth something, and last time
I saw them was at Steve's gallery.

Stop talking.
I have something to show you. Prager!

Hello, Judy.

Hey, Nick.
Good to see you back in uniform.

Uh, is it?

Can you do me a favor and explain
to me what's happening in these photos?

That is not what it looks like.

Oh, that's not Charlie Harding
with Steve Wood's car?

Charlie has nothing to do
with anything about Steve.

Okay, then...

help us understand why
there's also CCTV footage

of Charlie driving Steve's car
the night it was b*rned.

Well, I...

Look, our boss is itching for us
to make an arrest in this case.

And he thinks we should be looking at you.

- He does?
- He does.

But it's a little hard not
to look at this.

It's our only actual lead.

Yeah.

Well, those are just a few pictures.

They don't tell a very good story.

We know Charlie's angry
about his father's death.

And we know he's had access to a g*n.

The question is whether
he was angry enough to use it, which,

- obviously, we're gonna have to ask him.
- He didn't. That's not what happened.

Then what did?

Look, Charlie's the one
who needs a favor now,

so if you got a better story,
you need to tell us quickly.

Char, Hen!

Mama made dinner!

Sort of a once-in-a-lifetime thing here.

Probably gonna taste like sh*t,
but that's my love just tasting like sh*t.

Hello!

Hey, Boop. Dinner's ready.

I'm not hungry.

Hmm? No? What's going on? Are you okay?

- I got into a fight with Shandy.
- Oh.

I don't want to be her friend anymore.

Why?

You guys can't talk it out?

I mean, Shandy, you know, seems like...

very reasonable.

She k*lled my bird.

- She did?
- I know you told her to lie about it.

Oh.

Why did you do that?

I don't...

I don't know, honey.

I'm sorry.

I just... I knew how upset you were
about the bird,

and I just didn't want you
to feel any worse.

But I do feel worse.

You're my mom,
and you f*cking lied to me.

Yeah, um...

Look, I... I made a mistake, okay?

Moms make mistakes sometimes.

I'm really sorry, honey.

What can I do to make it up to you?

Do you want to go to the arcade?

No.

But maybe when Judy gets home,
she can come up to my room?

Okay.

You have your bird, huh?

Yeah, but...

somehow its... its tail broke.

Yeah.

All right, well, I love you.

Okay.

- Hey, we need to f*cking talk.
- What? Oh, God, what now?

I'm not Henry. You don't have to hide sh*t
from me. You don't have to lie.

Okay, what are you talking about, Charlie?

Everything.

Ben, Steve.
I know you're the one who b*rned his car.

You had a f*cking gas can in your hand.

Look, you don't know
what you're talking about.

Okay? It's none of your f*cking business.

It is! It is my business.

You're my mother. Aren't we supposed
to look out for each other?

Yeah. Yeah, we are.

So you need to drop it, okay?

- What...
- Trust me.

Why can't you tell me

- what the f*ck is going on?
- Because I can't.

- Why not?
- Because.

Why?

Because I'm scared.

Steve Wood...

was involved
with some very dangerous people, okay?

So you, please,

don't say another word
about this ever again.

Do you understand me?

Yeah.

Not another word, Charlie.

Okay.

What? What is that?

Nothing.

You don't really think the kid did it.

I'm just going off the evidence.
It's all we have.

- Did you take a look at what I gave you?
- I did.

But we need more.
A couple of photos of a guy

walking into an art gallery
doesn't prove much.

Neither does a couple photos
of the kid in the car.

Prager, my man, those phones
aren't gonna answer themselves.

So, um...

what did Judy Hale have to say
for herself?

She's not talking yet.

Did you dangle the kid?

I... did.

- Good girl.
- I'm not your girl.

Sorry.

I thought that would be a compliment
for a woman your age.

Bitch.

Hey.

I need to see you in the garage, please.
Now.

Really? Just... f*ck. Okay.

Hey, hey.

What's going on?

What's going on?
Judy, just tell me what's going on.

The police have pictures
of Charlie driving Steve's car,

the ones that Parker took.

Oh, my God.

They also have him on CCTV...

- driving the car the night it was b*rned.
- Oh, my God.

They think he did it, Jen.

No, no, no, no.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What am I gonna do?

- What am I gonna do, Judy?
- Nothing.

Oh, my God.

- Listen to me. Nothing.
- What?

I'm gonna take the blame.

What? No, no, you're not.

I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.

- Oh, f*ck, no!
- You are going to let me do this.

I need to do this.

Oh, my God, Judy.

- No.
- Yes.

Listen to me.

The night that Steve d*ed...

I was gonna k*ll myself.

What?

But then you called me,

and you saved me.

Oh, Judy.

And maybe you saved me for a reason,
so that I can do this for you now.

You have a family.

You have a life.

Please let me do this for you, Jen.

I'm responsible for all of this.

If it wasn't for me,
none of this would have happened.

You're not responsible for Steve's death.

I am.

- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.

He came here looking for me,
and then he att*cked you.

No.

- Yes, it was self-defense, Jen.
- No, it wasn't.

Yes, it was.

No, it wasn't, Judy.

What are you talking about?

He was walking away.

And he didn't att*ck me, okay?

I att*cked him.

- No, you said that he was strangling you.
- No, I...

I lied.

You what?

I lied.

I'm sorry.

No, I don't understand why you...
why would you do that?

Why... why would you k*ll him?

He was looking for a way out, honey.

- What?
- Ted. He jumped in front of our car.

- No.
- Oh, yeah, he wanted to get hit.

f*ck you.

You know what? I don't f*cking blame him,

because if I was married to you,
I'd want to put a f*cking g*n to my head.

I'd want to k*ll myself, too,
you miserable c**t!

'Cause he was saying
some really bad things, okay?

And I got really angry and I...

I just lost it.

What did he say to you?

I can't... it doesn't f*cking matter.

- Yes, it does.
- No.

- What did he say to you?
- No, it doesn't...

It obviously matters,
'cause you f*cking k*lled him.

What the f*ck did he say to you?

He said that Ted jumped
in front of that car!

Okay? He said that
he wanted to die because of me.

- You know that's not true, right?
- It's true.

No, it's not.

None of that is true.
That's just what Steve did.

He wanted to hurt you.

That's how he was.

No, he was right, Judy.

I'm... I'm a piece of sh*t.

I'm a f*cking piece of sh*t.

Ted f*cking hated me,

my kids f*cking hate me,
I f*cking hate me.

Everybody just f*cking hates me.

I don't hate you.

- I could never hate you...
- Oh, God,

that's because you love anyone who just
gives you a morsel of f*cking attention,

even if it's abusive.

It's like you get off on it or something.

It's why you loved Steve and why you love
your shitty, f*cking assh*le mother!

You'll just stick around for anybody.

sh*t.

Judy, wait.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, please.

Look, I didn't mean it, okay?
I didn't mean that.

No, listen to me. Listen to me.

Listen to me, stop.
I am so sorry. Okay, listen. Listen.

It's okay to be angry. You should be
f*cking irate right now. I deserve that.

- Don't.
- You should punch me in the face.

- Come on, please.
- No.

- Come on, hit me, please.
- No.

No, wait, just punch me in the face.

I'm not like you.

No, don't, please.

Don't go. Don't go. Please, just hit me!

Move!

- Please!
- I need you to move.

- Out of the way.
- Just hit me!

- Get out of the way!
- No!

- Move, Jen!
- Just f*cking run me over!

- Stop it!
- Hit me!

Stop!

Stop it!

Just f*cking stop it!

Just stop it.

Just stop it.

Judy.

Judy.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

It's not okay.

It's not okay.

I know.

♪ Some day ♪

♪ Some way ♪

♪ You'll realize ♪

♪ That you've been blind ♪

♪ Yes, darling ♪

♪ You're going to need me again ♪

♪ It's just a matter of time ♪

♪ Go on, go on ♪

♪ Until you reach the end of the line ♪

♪ But I know ♪

♪ You'll pass my way again ♪

♪ It's just a matter of time ♪

♪ After I gave you ♪

♪ Everything I had ♪

♪ You laughed and called me a clown ♪

♪ Remember in your search for fortune ♪

♪ And fame ♪

♪ What goes up must come down ♪

♪ I... I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ That one day you'll wake up and find ♪

♪ That my love ♪

♪ Was a true love ♪

♪ It's just a matter ♪

Jen?

♪ Of time ♪

Mrs. Harding.

What are you doing here?

There's something I have to confess.