♪ The animals the animals ♪
♪ Trapped trapped trapped
till the cage is full ♪
♪ The cage is full the day is new ♪
♪ And everyone is waiting
waiting on you ♪
♪ And you've got time ♪
♪ Think of all the roads ♪
♪ Think of all their crossings ♪
♪ Taking steps is easy ♪
♪ Standing still is hard ♪
♪ Remember all their faces ♪
♪ Remember all their voices ♪
♪ Everything is different ♪
♪ The second time around ♪
♪ And you've got time ♪
♪ And you've got time ♪
Is this the bus
to the underworld?
Uh, y'all, there's a chicken right there.
- That's a duck. Learn your fowl.
- Ducks are good luck. It's a sign.
It's not a sign.
It's a sign that dude's
having fresh duck for dinner.
No. You think I got a shamrock tattooed
on my ass 'cause I'm Irish?
No.
'Cause you're a dumbass, man.
It's four-leaf clovers that are lucky,
not shamrocks.
- Aren't they the same thing?
- Oh, my gosh.
- No!
- Oh, my gosh!
Man, whatever.
That bird is still a sign.
Oh.
I think the sign just took a dookie
in his cage.
Yo, if this is y'all big plan
to seduce me into staying in the states,
it's starting to smell, pun intended.
Girl, like there's no stank in Amsterdam.
- People too stoned there to notice.
- How about this...
if you're hell-bent on abandoning
your best friends...
- Oh, get out of here.
- and the greatest country on earth
for a place where you're sure to get hit
by a bicycle...
- Oh, man.
- and wear ugly clogs,
we at least have had tonight
with The Roots.
The Roots!
Philly in the house!
I'ma be so fly out there.
They gonna pull me up onstage.
Y'all watch.
You already smoke everything
in that backpack?
- What?
- They pulling anyone onstage, I mean,
- just look at me.
- Mikey, Mikey, I will take you down, boy.
You know you ticklish.
She was extremely violent.
That's how we start right out the gate.
We were dealing with a violent inmate.
Don't give them any time to start in
with their victims' rights crap.
Our man was doing his job.
This was not about race.
We can't have
our inmates attacking our C.O.'s.
She weighed 92 pounds.
She couldn't att*ck your shoe.
It's not about size.
I knew a Filipino once who could hoist...
Are you chewing gum?
Helps me think.
Where are the police?
I haven't called the police.
That's the last thing on the list.
Everyone back to their bunks... check.
Total lockdown.
All communications on blackout... check.
Phones are cut off, TVs are disabled.
And my guys have been told to brief
the other C.O.'s on story.
What story?
What I was telling you before
you interrupted me.
- She was extremely violent...
- Piscatella, go home.
All due respect,
there was an insurrection
in this prison tonight.
There was a peaceful protest
in this prison tonight
that became fatal
when the men under your command
got involved.
Someone d*ed on your watch, Captain.
A human being.
You better believe
we're gonna look into it,
and we're gonna be hearing many stories,
not just "the story" you're telling,
but many stories, including the one
about why you came to Litchfield
in the first place
from the men's high-security facility.
Yeah. I did a little digging.
Like I said, get your things
and go home for the weekend.
And if you try to pull any sh*t
on your way out,
if you try to undermine me in any way,
oh, I will pull skeletons
from your closet.
And throw the f*cking gum out!
There's no gum allowed!
Get the hell out of here!
It's disrespectful.
- Dimaguiba?
- Yeah.
What's happening with the body?
Well, I was sent down here
to take and record vitals.
No vitals. That's what I wrote down.
I'm also supposed to assess injury,
but I'm not exactly sure
how to approach that.
That's why, uh, Foster is here from max.
- Hey.
- Hello, Foster.
Oh, Captain Piscatella also told us
to get Bayley some Diazepam
from the med closet.
Should we still go do that?
Bayley's still here?
What is it?
Just take it, son.
Here.
Officer Dixon's gonna drive you home.
Okay.
Bayley, what happened out there?
It... it's all, like, jumpy in my head.
I... I was in the cafeteria,
and Piscatella was telling us
to pull them down.
So... so I grabbed someone,
and I was getting hit.
And then... I don't know.
I don't know.
I... I just wanted to help.
Yeah.
Is she gonna be okay?
Man, what the f*ck?!
Ain't no one gonna tell us anything?!
Inmate, back to your bunk.
Or f*cking what, you're gonna k*ll me?!
You gonna k*ll all of us?!
Ladies, it's lights out,
except we're keeping
all the lights on tonight.
But it's just like every other night.
Like every other night? Really?
You should all be in your bunks.
Now, inmate,
or you'll be on your way to seg,
where I know they freed up some cells.
Come on, T.
We'll find out more in the morning.
- I don't want no morning.
- I know.
It's way too f*cking bright.
Inmate, bed.
Come on.
- I can't go in.
- Then don't.
Come on. You, you, go visit Abdullah.
She like company.
Come on, now! We need us some shibah time.
Thank you.
f*ck, man. Man, why don't you sit?
Don't wanna.
Anybody got any books? I need more books.
Damn!
What the hell are you doing?
Wait. Hold up.
Alexander Mccall Smith.
I need more books, not take books away.
Ah. Taystee, y... you got to deal
with this.
Suzanne, I know you're trying
to feel close to her, but this...
No, I'm not.
I want to know what it feels like
to not breathe.
Cut it out.
- Wait. Taystee!
- That ain't happening.
Taystee. Tay...
I know where I can get more.
Poussey keeps extra books under her bed,
special books.
It's like the library V.I.P. room
under there.
Kept.
Keeps?
Kept.
I understand,
but I have to call the police.
A girl is dead.
She's lying on the floor of the cafeteria.
How long would you like me
to sit tight for?
Oh, Jesus.
You... I am sitting by this phone.
I am not moving. You hear me?
You figure out your plan fast.
This is not something that moves
at corporate speed.
Do you hear me?
Yes.
Yes, everything is locked down.
But you call... you're calling me back,
right?
All right. I... I'm waiting here.
I'll... I'll talk to you soon.
I've never seen
a dead body before.
- You saw her, too?
- For a second.
I always thought dead
would look like a person was sleeping,
but it wasn't like that.
I saw my grandparents,
but they were in caskets.
They looked like that puppet from
Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
Lady Elaine Fairchilde.
I found my dad
after he sh*t himself in the head
and my mom a few days later,
but she'd swallowed a bunch of pills.
Oh, my God.
You're hearing this, right?
I forgot to brush my teeth.
♪ You are the
light in my dark world ♪
♪ You are the fire that will always burn ♪
♪ You are the light ♪
♪ You are the light ♪
♪ You are the light in my dark world ♪
Alex... Al...
♪ In my time of darkness ♪
Sorry. Go back to what you were doing.
I didn't mean... it's...
it's been a hard night.
- Bayley?
- Oh, hey.
I... I... I got to go.
Bayley, wait. Wait.
Stop. You... you have to go where?
I... I have to get to them.
I have to tell them I'm sorry.
I... I am so sorry.
Who?
Her friends.
It was an accident.
Oh, my God.
My God, I... I don't even know what I did.
I... I didn't even know.
You can't.
You cannot go into "C" dorm.
They're grieving.
They're not ready to hear you.
Can you hear what I'm telling you?
You should go.
Will you tell 'em then?
Will you tell them for me, please?
I...
It was an accident.
I'm a good person. You know that.
I didn't mean to hurt her.
Of course not.
You'll... you'll tell them then for me,
please?
I'll let them know.
You should go now.
I'm so sorry.
Phew! It's hot in here.
You hot?
♪ We used to point and stare
at all the lonely folks... ♪
Listen, it's not your fault, man.
I mean, speaking as a big guy,
sometimes you just don't realize...
I mean, I've sat in chairs
that have broken right under me.
Oh... listen...
I don't know if this will help or not,
but
in Afghanistan,
I k*lled some people...
some innocent people.
People?
So much time spent chasing
after the bad guys,
and then you don't get them,
and then they blow up your friends
or sh**t up your convoy,
and you just get so mad, tired, and bored.
So you just grab a farm kid
from a grape field,
and you make him juggle live grenades
until one of them blows up,
and then you sh**t him,
'cause you don't want him to grow up
without arms, or tell on you.
Or maybe you just strangle
a girl that you've had sex with
in a small village
because her family's gonna k*ll her,
anyway, right?
And you just got to get over it.
You have to get over it.
You've got so much of your life to live,
and we're so young.
We can't let things like this
f*ck up the rest of our long lives.
Now, I didn't see what happened exactly,
but I know you... sort of.
You're a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
It was an accident.
Do you think people will forgive me?
Sure.
It's the fourth one on the right.
Thanks for the ride.
Hey, man, listen.
It can get rough...
the dreams, and, also, being awake.
You're in for some hard times,
but, like I said,
you got to get over it.
Move quickly, ladies. Thank you.
How are you feeling, Red?
How am I feeling?
Better now
that I've gotten a little sleep,
but my back hurts a lot.
My soul hurts a little.
And I have to make sure
that if they're k*lling us now,
they don't k*ll one of mine.
You really think you can do something
about it?
I think I can make them feel safe.
Whether they actually are
is another story.
Well, here's a thought...
we got one of theirs.
They got one of ours.
Now we're even.
Ha! Nice thought.
Oh, no.
Uh, we got a problem.
What now?
Anyone have eyes on Piscatella?
I need him in the cafeteria now.
How could they not move it?
They don't know what to do.
We need to call the police.
They ain't gonna call the police.
They ain't doing sh*t.
f*ck. The girl was m*rder*d.
Leaving her like this.
You'd think they'd have
some humanness in them.
You'd think.
Okay, ladies, go back into the kitchen.
I'll take it from here.
Someone please come
to the cafeteria and wait with me.
Hello?
You've got maybe one more day
before bloat and putrefaction begin
with the corpse.
After that,
this room will smell forever like death.
How do you know that?
Actually, I don't want to know.
Has anyone got eyes on the captain?
Anyone?
Please.
Caputo here.
Caputo here.
What's going on?
Sir, this is McCullough
in the dining hall,
where breakfast is about to start.
Um, there's still
a certain inmate present,
um, who's sure to cause certain problems
once meal service commences.
Wait. W... what?
Sir, the body is still here.
No one goes in there! You hear me?
No one goes in there! I'm coming down!
Look who is up bright and early.
It's a new me.
Is it really?
The kids are calling it
"lockdown rapid detox,"
and, then, yesterday...
Jesus.
Talk about sobering.
Well, I hope it sticks.
Should I bring some of these
to the grieving family?
I'll have someone else bring them.
What you can do is tell our family
that we're all meeting after breakfast
out by the garden...
what was the garden...
as close to the garden as we can, okay?
Will you tell everyone?
You don't...
you don't trust me to bring the juice?
I don't think you're going to steal it,
Nicky.
This is a situation where...
What? What? Say it.
I can take it.
Death is uncomfortable,
and when you get uncomfortable,
you talk too much.
I don't want you going over there,
making jokes
or saying something really stupid, like,
"She's in a better place,"
or, "Everything happens for a reason."
You don't mean to,
but you try to fill the space
because that's what you do.
It's not a judgment. It's only I know you.
You do. You know me.
All right. I'm gonna go tell everyone
about the after-breakfast thing.
Thank you, honey.
Are you proud of me, Red?
I am cautiously optimistic.
'Cause black lives don't matter.
That's why.
She's still lying in there.
They don't even have the respect
to take her away.
And look at this sh*t.
Don't mean nothing.
They didn't know her.
Hey, is that a Heath bar?
Hand that over.
Hand it o... what?
You rage, I eat.
We all have our ways.
People are trying to be nice.
People are full of sh*t.
Hey, who brought that bubble water maker?
Not her.
The skinny one brought it.
Yeah. People are full of sh*t.
- How heavy do you think this bench is?
- Stop it, Suzanne. Please.
I can't. Not today. I find you with
this bench upside down on your titties,
I'ma lose it.
I swear.
I am very sorry for your loss.
She was a good kid,
and if you're having a sendoff for her,
I'd like to contribute one of my
commissary casseroles.
It looks disgusting, but it tastes good.
I just need a few hours heads-up.
Got to get some ingredients
and some real time with the microwave.
I want to do that for you.
You don't know what we're going through.
You don't know what this is like for us.
And now you come around,
wanting to make some ugly-ass casserole?
No!
Like that's gonna make everything
all right?
I think what she's trying to say
is thank you.
It's very thoughtful.
I get it.
When my cousin Nino got sh*t
and dumped in the Gowanus Canal,
my brother took a bat
and whacked every bald-headed guy
he came across.
Then it turned out
it wasn't even bald Mario who done it.
It was Nino's girlfriend's father,
who had a full head of hair and was mad
about Nino not putting his name
on the birth certificate for the baby!
Ay, was that a mess.
Anyhow, condolences.
I keep thinking she's gonna come
around that corner any minute now
and be all, "Hey, party people."
That goofy smile.
Yeah.
Man, it still ain't real, you know?
I got to go to work.
But it's Saturday.
You tell that Caputo to call
the f*cking cops.
You tell them
to arrest that murdering guard
and get our girl off the floor, Taystee!
You tell them!
This sh*t ain't right!
She never even had a cold.
Visits to medical... none. What do you got?
Nonviolent offender, picked up in Brooklyn
for trespassing and possession
with intent to sell.
F... not even half an ounce.
It's all soft.
Even her intake photo's adorable. sh*t.
Go online... Facebook, Twitter.
See if anything she posted
can be interpreted as threatening.
I don't see the point in any of this.
I need to call the police,
and I need that body out of my cafeteria.
Yeah, we'll call the police
the second we have an angle.
Okay? We're talking about death here,
and if we can't prove
that it was either motivated
or due to a pre-existing condition,
the MCC becomes liable.
Now, we need to be able to guide
our brothers in blue when they get here,
not to mention the press.
So you want to have a seat,
go through some files,
see if we missed anything...
asthma att*ck,
violent outburst, something?
There was no condition,
and it wasn't motivated.
It was an accident.
Better yet, we'll handle it.
Hey! This is my f*cking prison.
And you should go run it,
and we'll call you when we're ready,
and we'll go over everything,
and then we will get the police
over here pronto.
Phones are still cut off, right?
No one's coming in.
Everyone's locked down.
The phones are off.
I canceled visitation,
but I lifted the lockdown.
These women shouldn't have to sit trapped
in their bunks.
- Okay.
- Hey!
Nothing happens without my approval.
You hear me?
We'll make sure you're comfortable
with everything,
okay?
Oh, um, Judy King's being released today.
What?
We can't have her around when this breaks.
In fact, we're trying to back-date
the paperwork.
And we'll talk to her,
make sure she'll cooperate,
say she was already gone
when all this happened.
I'm sure she doesn't want the headache,
either.
Jesus Christ.
Check it.
This picture's pretty thuggy.
Yeah, maybe if we photoshop out
the bunny ears.
Pull it. We'll see.
You gave me bunny ears?
- Yeah.
- No, wait.
No, no, no. You can't post it!
- Ugh!
- Too late.
Man, Aliyah, you straight k*lling my vibe!
Aw, sh*t. Wait. Am I really baked,
or am I reading that right?
Yo, my weed don't make
"S's", "Z's", man. That's a "Z."
- That's "Rootz" with a "Z"!
- No f*cking way.
My cousin Ceecee says
she's seen them here.
Even got a drumstick
signed by Questlove to prove it.
- Kuestlove with a "K," maybe.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Ceecee, right? The one who interned
with Jay Z... that one?
Yeah, they don't call her Fox News
'cause she foxy.
sh*t. That lying, liar, lie person!
f*ck.
Good evening, New York!
We are the Rootz.
Man, The Rootz all got
some serious vitiligo, man.
- The Michael Jackson thing?
- Oh, no.
I did not pay good money
to see some white roots cover band.
- Where is the manager?!
- Yeah, you got get him, Aliyah!
- Tell him to buy us some damn drinks!
- Yeah!
Let's pop some Cris in this mo'.
No, no, no, no, no.
You... you can't say that, babe.
- I can't?
- That is stupid.
You're just mad 'cause this is some
American-style bullshit!
♪ If you an obstacle
she just drop you cold... ♪
Yo, wait. Hold up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah?
You got me? You get it?
Yeah, I got you, man.
Think you're so...
♪ Calm down I'ma take your hand...
Hey, hey! Man, he got my phone!
She came right at him. I saw it.
You know, I didn't think
the little potato had it in him.
You should have seen him in the car.
He was a wreck.
Blake said that she was foaming
at the mouth.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back.
Come here.
Dude, can't... can't let you go in there
with that.
Sure you can. I just keep walking.
No.
It's Girls Gone Wild in there right now,
not the kind we like to jack off to.
Guy's got to be able to defend himself.
From what?
A five-foot chick
who's probably in for cybersquatting?
- I heard she had a Kn*fe.
- Did you see her foam at the mouth?
Sure.
Look, we got to stand behind our man
with a strong story.
Too many contradictions,
and we'll all be open for investigation.
Do you want to find yourself explaining
why you had a girl standing on a table,
pissing herself?
Listen, you guys
got this cush assignment here.
I'm headed back into the lady lion's den,
and they're out for blood.
It's actually the female lions
that do the hunting.
Guys just sit around, licking themselves.
Well, there you go, then.
I'm gonna keep walking now.
Oh. Um...
You didn't have to come in today.
- It's... it's a weekend.
- No. I want to be here.
See what I can do to help. Keep busy.
Right.
Well, I'm not sure what I got for you.
Uh, maybe I can call
the police or the coroner.
Uh, I can pull up their numbers right now.
Right. Well, MCC is... is just...
they're not ready for that yet.
So, she lie there alone on the ground
like an old napkin.
That ain't right, Mr. Caputo.
No.
It's not.
But it is a crime scene.
So, where's the criminal?
He in jail?
Taystee, if you want to stay here,
you're gonna have to give me a break.
I'm doing the best I can.
She's not alone. I posted a guard.
I had inmates put up privacy blankets.
I'm trying to take care of her.
Mr. Caputo.
Is her daddy coming?
Um, he's, uh...
I'm not...
You haven't even called her dad yet.
Are you kidding me?
I'm gonna call him right now.
I will call now.
I don't have her file.
It's in with the crisis-management team.
But as soon as I get it, I will call him,
I promise you.
I'll call Serena in registration
and see if she can track something down.
Great. That's a great idea.
Excellent, excellent idea.
I will be right back.
It's a terrible day.
- Jesus.
- Why did we get this job?
Yeah,
they're gonna probably make us clean...
Whoa. Stop, stop.
You're gonna run over the...
Stop.
Holy cow.
I have to watch her till the cops come.
How perfect for you...
an inmate you can totally control.
That's not funny.
We're just here to hang some stuff
up over the grates
so nobody can, like, look in.
Give her some privacy
you know... does it matter
at this point.
I mean, I guess the ghost of her
could be hanging around, right?
I mean, my uncle Kyle,
he had... when he O.D.'d
and his body ended up in the river,
he came to my room every night,
and he stole all my sh*t.
You know what, though?
It could have been Kacey,
his... his brother,
because they looked exactly alike.
Yep. He kyped my entire coin collection.
Oh, then, it was definitely the ghost.
- Yeah.
- See, he needed the coins
to pay for passage across the Styx.
I didn't grow up in the sticks.
I grew up in town.
I love playing this game with you.
It really never gets old.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You sure?
- All good.
I'm sorry.
- No.
- Damn it.
Do you want to go talk or something?
Go set up the ladder.
Okay, but don't go too far.
I'll be waiting, if you know what I mean.
You'll be waiting.
He knows what I mean.
Are you gonna be freaked out
in here with this body?
No. It's only the living
that scare the f*ck out of me.
"The garden is one of the two
great metaphors for humanity.
The garden is about life and beauty
and the impermanence of all living things.
The garden is about feeding your children,
providing food for the tribe.
It's part of an urgent, territorial drive
that we can probably trace back
to animals storing food.
It's a competitive display mechanism,
like having a prize bull,
this greed for the best tomatoes
and English tea roses.
It's about winning,
about providing society
with superior things,
and about proving that you have taste
and good values
and you work hard.
And what a wonderful relief every so often
to know who the enemy is,
because, in the garden,
the enemy is everything...
the aphids, the weather, time.
And so you pour yourself into it,
care so much,
and see up close so much birth and growth
and beauty and danger and triumph.
And then everything dies anyway, right?"
- Ha!
- "But you just keep doing it."
Washington showed me this
when I started the garden.
She thought I'd like it.
I do.
We're going to start again,
for our humanity, for this family,
and for that little girl
on the floor in the cafeteria.
- Where?
- The cafeteria. She's still there.
That's why we had breakfast outside.
I know that.
I'm saying where are we gonna redo
the garden?
I was thinking about the fence,
where the hole was.
We can dig up some of the grass,
make a patch for ourselves.
Well, they're gonna think we're trying
to split again.
How about, uh, near electrical?
There's sun.
Luschek won't give a sh*t.
It's too open,
and the Latinas like to sunbathe there.
What about, uh,
the make-out alley by the shed?
I mean, all that heavy breathing
should be good for the plants.
Oh, God.
Nicky, Lorna... you two scout that, hmm?
Gina, Anita, Norma,
I need you to make lists...
What do we need?
Where can we get it?
Who are our allies in the administration
who might help us?
How can we protect ourselves
and the garden, all of that?
Chapman and Vause...
well, what about if we poke
around the old garden
and then somehow break into
the greenhouse?
I think that there's a guard posted there.
Yeah, but we'll be stealthy.
And he's the guy
who sneaks his game thingy.
I've been watching.
Okay, team. Get to work.
No job for me?
I need you to help me up.
I think I'm stuck down here.
What are you really up to, Red?
When my boys were little
and we lived in a sh*t neighborhood,
I kept them busy, busy, busy...
sports, chores, board games, outings,
music, pillow forts,
anything I could think of.
Because busy boys
don't have the time to get into trouble.
I smell trouble coming.
I want this family busy.
What is that... Poussey?
Is that, like, French or something?
I mean, is she... a black French?
What?
What?
Unh-unh.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no!
No.
I'm clean.
What? I'm... I'm your prize...
your prize for getting clean?
Is that what I am?
How many f*cking times
do I have to tell you, I am married?!
We're having a baby!
No, you're not, you know?
That's... you're not!
Yes... I... am!
You junkie, addict, liar!
Yeah, you like that?
How long is it gonna last this time?
What are you gonna sweet-and-low for it?
'Cause it ain't gonna be me.
No, sir.
You psycho!
What's the truth?! What's the truth, huh?!
What's going on, huh?! I want to know!
And what kind of contortions
are your brain acrobats doing
up there in your f*cking head circus,
huh?!
I'm...
I'm f*cking everything up, okay?
It's happening again.
I'm watching it
happening, and I can't stop myself,
and he's gonna leave me 'cause of it.
And then what will I do?!
I do what I do!
You... you happy now?!
You happy 'cause it's ruined now?!
- Of course not, okay?
- Yeah.
Come on, a junkie-addict-liar, huh?
Happy people are not that.
I wonder if she's got family.
Who?
Washington, the French black, R.I.P.
Yeah.
I've imagined my mom getting that call.
I can't decide what's worse...
if she heard I did it to myself
or if it went down like this.
Well, that's like asking
if it would hurt worse
to get your leg cut off or your arm.
It's your leg, obviously.
So, I saw him last night... Bayley.
Yeah? Uh-huh.
Yeah. Bad.
He asked me to tell her friends
that he's sorry
and that it was an accident.
Oh, no, no. You can't do that.
Yeah, I know. I know.
I should have said no.
I cannot be getting involved
in other people's drama.
But someone d*ed.
I know nothing I can say
is gonna change that,
but, I mean, I don't know.
Maybe it would bring them some relief,
just knowing it was an accident.
He was just in way over his head.
He's not a bad guy.
He's not a m*rder*r m*rder*r.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
I'm just gonna reach through
and see if I can get this tomato plant.
- What is that?
- Nothing. I couldn't reach it.
How'd it go with the windowpanes?
- No, what is that?
- Nothing.
- That thing right there.
- Nothing!
- What is this?!
- Stop.
What is this?! Get... get... get off of me!
- Get the...
- What are you...
What the f*ck?!
How many of these are there?
In the garden
or around the prison in general?
Jesus Christ.
f*ck.
sh*t!
sh*t.
Hey, excuse me.
Um, you know where the joint
is around here
- with a Roots cover band?
- That's not a thing.
Yeah, it's, like, um, uh,
baby's got back...
Sorry.
Hey. Sorry.
Could... could I borrow your phone
real quick? I got split up.
No.
Cool, thanks.
- Brooklyn women seem hard.
- It's all a front.
It's just like they're, like,
a different class.
- I don't know.
- Hey, there.
Um, could I maybe borrow your phone
to make a quick call to my friends?
Please.
These boots were not made for walking,
let alone running to chase your ass down
after you take off with it.
They look good, though.
No, seriously, m... my phone got jacked
in a club, and now I'm lost.
Your friends in Dubai
or someplace with another country code?
No! We... we was gonna stay
at another friend's place at,
uh, Brooklyn later.
I... but I don't have the address.
- You're cute. Ain't she cute?
- So tiny.
Like a mini Whitney,
circa '85.
Put you in a coral sarong.
She should meet Whitney circa '92.
You should meet Whitney circa '92,
A.K.A. Heidi Ho, A.K.A. Larry Tucker.
But don't ever repeat that,
because his day job's in healthcare.
Okay.
Really, I just want to get back
to my friends.
Come on! It's early still!
Your friends ain't going nowhere.
Make some time for some new friends.
Look, if you want my phone,
you got to come meet Whitney.
All right. Let's go find Whitney.
All right, girl. Come on.
Mwah.
♪ Jump ♪
♪ Jump ♪
♪ Jump ♪
♪ Kiss ♪
♪ Share ♪
♪ Share ♪
♪ Share ♪
Thank you.
♪ Feed ♪
- Are they vegan? Okay.
- No.
- Thank you.
- Wait.
♪ Dance ♪
What? Like the flying elephant?
It's an acronym.
Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
Ah.
No, Ms. Crimson Tide got me right.
I'll explain it later.
Okay, no, no, no.
All right, 212 John Street, right?
All right, I got it.
I'll meet you there in a minute.
Oh, sorry. I got it a little sweaty.
Your sweat washed off the layer of makeup
that's usually there.
You're welcome, then.
Listen, thanks.
Ha! This was amazing!
Um...
- The hell is that?
- What?
- Ladies kiss goodbye.
- Oh.
- But don't you f*ck up my makeup.
- I'm...
Mwah! Mwah!
You know, you should really work that
Whitney thing,
grow out your 'do, stand close to fans.
- Yes, yes, yes. Cool.
- Yes. Get it going.
Work on it.
Bye.
I am out.
- You can actually do something.
- I didn't see anything.
It was a sea of bodies
and screaming and chaos,
and then my... my friend was dead.
You can make a statement.
You can say something.
They haven't even called the police.
You could get on
your illegal f*cking cellphone
and call the police.
You want to make a call?
Have at it!
I can't process any of this, all right?!
I'm supposed to pretend
that I wasn't even here, remember?
I left yesterday.
You could refuse to leave, you know?
Oh, f*ck that! I'm getting as far away
from this damn place
as is humanly possible!
They k*ll people in here!
Jesus. How did this happen?
What is the matter with you?
Nothing!
When things are going well,
absolutely nothing.
Go f*ck yourself!
Hello?
Ow.
Oh, very hard to breathe.
- Oh, God.
- Very hard to breathe.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
Uh, hold on.
That kid... he's a kid, you know?
And he's all upbeat and sh*t,
like a puppy.
And now he's ruined.
He'll be all f*cked up forever.
He wouldn't have k*lled someone
if he worked at Best Buy.
He'd still be a happy-puppy guy
if he worked at Best Buy.
Best Buy gives me a headache.
You know, I forget sometimes
that all the girls in here,
you'd be anywhere else if you could be,
and, uh, I come here every day,
by choice, like an idiot.
You've been smoking a bowl?
I'm gonna quit my job.
- You're not saying nothing.
- Yeah, 'cause I don't want you to go.
- No?
- No. I mean, I...
I mean, I want you to do
what's right for you,
and you should always do
what's right for you.
But now that we're cool...
I mean, I think we're cool, right?
Toast can't never be bread again,
but I like talking to you.
But I hate being here.
It's awful.
Mm.
You can't do that.
It's not safe. It will get me all...
You can't do that.
Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry.
Are you...
- Shut up.
- Wow.
You know I'm attracted to you.
No, I don't.
You don't?
No.
Boo's right out there.
Are you still scared of me?
- A little.
- Yeah?
You know, you should be,
'cause it's taking everything I got
not to throw you down
and f*ck you right now.
But I don't want to be what I was to you
and I don't want to ruin where we are now.
Me either.
I might have to quit.
Okay. Well, think on that,
and... and I'm gonna think on that, too.
And, um, I won't tell Boo
that you had your boner on my leg.
I appreciate that.
She came right for him,
and she had a shiv.
- You saw a w*apon?
- Yes, sir.
Is this vanilla coffee?
McCullough?
I guess.
Why else would he have taken her down
like that?
It was nuts in there.
Flavored coffee is bullshit, you guys.
Flavored coffee is for women
who scrapbook.
Blake, what'd you see?
Girl had a Kn*fe.
Came running right for him.
Are we not gonna address the coffee issue?
Jefferson, were you there
in the cafeteria?
Yes, sir.
Was there an altercation?
Did... did Washington provoke him
in some way?
What are you asking me...
if she deserved to die?
No! No!
There were conflicting reports,
with some key witnesses claiming
she had a w*apon.
Man, like hell she did!
But what does that matter anyhow?
That girl was smaller
than most 12-year-olds!
She got held down and down
until she couldn't get back up, ever!
And ain't nothing she could have done
that called for that!
Man, she was my friend...
not inmate Washington, but my friend!
And you ain't even call her father!
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm so sick of people
saying that, man...
"my loss," like it was
my hundred-year-old granny
who kicked it
Or, like, it was some tragic accident
instead of cold-blooded m*rder.
But thank you.
I need to use the restroom.
I'm a f*cking hero, b*tches.
Yeah, I held it together and saved a life.
But now I'm gonna go back to crying now,
so... bye.
Holy sh*t! She's drunk.
And where there's drunk, there's drink.
Yes!
We need to call the police,
we need to call the coroner now!
All right, I think I got it, okay?
We hit a wall when it came to the inmate.
Father's an army mucky muck,
nice family, educated.
Low-level crime, sweet face,
healthy as a f*cking horse.
- Wasn't happening.
- We'd be smeared.
We're shifting our focus
to officer Bayley.
What do you mean?
Our villain.
We got a villain.
He was untrained and a loose cannon
who, as you will announce,
will be fired effective immediately.
He wasn't a loose cannon.
He's a kid who got scared.
And k*lled someone.
How long have you been working here?
Thirty years.
Been scared once or twice?
What's your body count?
He is not a villain.
We leave him out there to twist
in the wind, he will go to jail.
Well, he made his bed
when he did a full nelson
on a girl he had 50 pounds on.
He had his knee on her.
You said "full nelson."
I wasn't being literal.
Yeah.
She was unarmed and,
by all reports, nonaggressive.
He was using brawn instead of brain,
and that is not a tactic MCC can stand by.
Ooh. Write that down.
Could be useful for the statement...
"Brawn instead of brain.
MCC won't stand for it."
Plus, he's on antidepressants.
Who isn't?
He went rogue
It's our only defense.
You can call the cops and the morgue now.
That will give us a few hours
until the press gets ahold of it,
and then we'll have ourselves
an official conference.
Here we go.
Where the f*ck am I?
Where the...
- Hey, um, which way to John street?
- It's like five blocks that way.
That way?
You lost?
No.
I'm like five blocks away...
About, I think.
Hop on. We'll get you there.
Oh, my God! Oh, man!
Whoo!
Ha!
Breeze feels nice.
Mm.
Got to replenish my vitamin "D"
so I don't get dementia.
You ain't getting dementia.
You forget nothing.
And don't you forget it.
Things will change now, you know?
That's what's so f*cked up.
It takes someone dying
for them to do something.
They ain't gonna do sh*t.
sh*t. That's a big one.
Haven't seen mandin-girl
around here before.
Heard he/she was in max.
b*at up a Mexican or something.
Looks like it's all
peace in the valley now.
Maybe they got it sedated.
f*ck. Can we wake it back up
if the guards go apeshit?
I want that on my side
if they try and squash me.
Too vivid.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Hey, you're the table-standing,
pissed-on-herself lady, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
That bitch can stand
for a hella long time.
We got to find that hooch.
I mean,
ain't much of a wake without drink.
China doll probably know
where she kept it.
I mean, where she at, anyhow?
I mean, some of this candy for her,
being that she's the widow and all.
Then save her some.
f*ck off, Shabazz.
Suzanne went to look for her.
Hopefully not dead in the library.
P ain't here to save her ass no more.
Someone should sing.
Don't people sing at these things?
Me and Taystee gonna sing.
A little "Going up Yonder,"
a little "Bye and Bye,"
some Sounds of Blackness,
"I'll Fly Away"...
or Hezekiah Walker, "I'll Fly Away."
I may be a Jew now, but times like this
call for some black gospel
no matter what.
- P... P, had some pipes.
- Oh, hell yeah.
Man, that voice would take you places.
But that shewee thing,
though, was for sh*t, though.
Yo.
Pissed all over my hands.
f*ck, man.
Man, f*ck!
What did they say?
Not much.
Check it out, check it out.
- Oh, man.
- I can't look.
Open the gate!
sh*t.
Why bother with an ambulance, you know?
I mean, it's not like
she's gonna get well.
What the f*ck did she say?
The f*ck did you say?
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ho! Oh!
Y'all want to get dirty?
We can get dirty.
My friend jihad here
will show what she's hiding in her scarf.
Another time.
f*ck, yeah.
Great. All we got is time!
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey, man. It's all right, man. Shh.
Hey, you might need
to load that thing up now.
There's not that much room.
What the...
Watson, you see this sh*t?
That's some Raggedy Ann nap.
Oh, man, it's like Backdraft
up in that sh*t.
Atomic fireball!
Little Red riding head!
- Yo, Ariel! Ariel!
- Oh!
That's why this whole thing
happened in the first place.
They can't control their tempers.
Did you see her, all wild-eyed?
Her friend did just die.
And that's the only reason
I didn't knock her big Chiclets
to the back of her skull...
out of respect.
We should load up.
Rocks in socks,
maybe some spray cans,
sh**t in their eyes.
They're feral with emotion.
We've got to be ready.
Not to mention the f*cking guards.
I'm gonna get started.
I've got shivs.
Oh, f*ck.
I'm so f*cking tired!
Better safe.
I know. I know.
sh*t.
Oh, sh*t.
The white b*tches are loading up.
You think we should say something?
Might be good.
Maybe Maria will be
a little less pissed at me
if I can tell her some stuff
that she don't know.
I don't know. It can't hurt.
Is this supposed to feel tight and sh*t?
Like, it's pulling.
I don't know if that's a good thing.
No, that's good. That means it's working.
We're gonna look so good
for when the TV cameras come
- to ask about the dead girl.
- Mm.
They're gonna want to interview us
for sure.
We got to stand up right in the front...
- Yeah.
- looking all sad and sh*t.
I can totally do that.
That's so bad, that's so bad,
that's so bad.
Ah! I love the weekend.
So relaxing.
When I was growing up,
we only got Sunday off,
and most of that time was spent in church.
Kind of blew.
Lunch was good, though...
Uh, I feel like I might blow.
Felt so good going down.
We should have taken it slow.
There ain't gonna be more now.
Should have toasted her.
To the best hooch maker!
May she rest in peace.
f*ck.
She was just here, in the time machine,
dancing with her l*zzie,
yellow girlfriend.
You know,
I think that time machine is bad luck.
Think about it.
That nutty lady went in there,
and she's in psych now.
Hoochie's dead.
I think the tall lezzies are still around,
but their days could be numbered.
Are you thinking what I'm destroying?
Totally.
It's our duty as citizens of Litchfield.
Come on! Wreck it!
You can't remember
how many there were?
I told you, I think that's all of them.
You think or you know?
You can't tell it's my writing.
I wrote them with my left hand.
Have you never seen
a procedural television show, Al?
That's... come on.
This was crazy.
It's the right thing. He has a family.
They should be able to mourn him.
Nobody should die without a name.
Yeah, well, he should have thought of that
before he became a contract k*ller.
He was also a henchman,
and he worked
at a eurotrash clothing store.
Oh, okay. Well, then.
Before he tried to k*ll me,
he didn't k*ll me,
and we spent time together.
I didn't take the life of a stranger.
He had a cousin who used to run g*ns
for an Iraqi arms dealer,
and they were close,
and we'd go out...
we go out drinking sometimes,
me and Aydin and Haluk.
They were big tippers and decent dancers,
and he always smelled good.
Haluk's gonna have to figure this one out
on his own, Al,
and hopefully blame Kubra and not you.
Sweetie, you're guilty,
and you're emotional,
and you haven't had closure,
and someone else just d*ed
in front of you.
I get it, but I can't let you do this.
It's too dangerous, okay?
I'm sorry.
He was a person.
I know he was.
There might be two more
in the hall by the chapel.
Let's go get them.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Everything hurts.
Yep.
You got guests.
Oh, damn.
I could have sworn
you were wearing a blue tie.
Do you have a blue tie here?
No.
Fine. Here. Pin that on.
Hey.
Is that necessary?
Well, you don't want to be shiny.
Shiny implies sweat, which implies duress,
which implies culpability.
Here. All the news outlets have this.
It's gonna be part of the piece.
He's dressed for Halloween.
Can't know that for sure.
He's wearing a b*llet belt.
He's... Rambo.
Knock, knock.
Thought you could use
a little energy boost.
No! No caffeine.
He'll appear shaky and nervous.
We want him in complete control.
Zach, let's, uh, triple-check
the prisoners don't have access
to the press and vice versa.
See, this is why I wanted
a complete lockdown.
In fact, you know what? It's not too late.
Get on a loudspeaker.
Get everyone back to their dorms.
Let's do that, okay?
- Okay. Fine.
- Okay.
What are you doing here?
It's quieter here than I thought,
the prison.
Yeah. Someone d*ed yesterday.
Yeah. They're... they're saying
it will probably make national news.
MCC is so lucky to have you.
You are a part of this community,
you will put everyone at ease.
So, studies show that viewers like to see
paper and ink.
It gives it an analog feel.
So I went ahead and wrote out
your statement for you.
Eye contact is key, however,
so you're gonna want to look up
intermittently
and look like you're talking
from the heart.
"A low-achieving grifter"?
Junior college.
We're trying to paint a picture here,
and the picture has to be very clear.
He was not a good man, unlawful, immoral,
and no longer to be associated
with our corporation.
You got shiny again.
Hey, makeup.
You'll be great.
I didn't notice that before.
I'll grab my concealer.
Bite marks?
I didn't notice that before, either.
Where are you going?
I got to, um... I need a minute.
Eight minutes to 5:00 o'clock news.
Empty that bladder.
General Washington, this is Warden Caputo
of the Litchfield Correctional Facility.
No, sir.
She's not okay.
Yeah. Taking off in two weeks.
Dutch smoke can't be much better
than this.
Pack some dank here.
It's not for that, man.
See, I was supposed to go to West Point.
I lost it over this girl.
Damn near k*lled somebody...
the wrong somebody.
Got blackballed from the academy.
Never told anyone that.
It's the robe. It inspires disclosure.
Do you believe in signs?
Like lucky ducks and sh*t?
No.
What's your thing, then?
I believe this world's a damaged place,
and if you can find a sliver of happiness,
stay in it as long as you can.
Solid monk wisdom.
As long as we're making confessions,
you should know I'm not a real monk.
What the f*ck?
Sorry.
Honestly, I kind of thought you knew
already,
between the bikes, pot,
the fact that I'm mostly Irish
and we were throwing Toffifees at people.
I... I thought y'all was like
some new wave order.
What is all this, then?
Improv Everywhere. It's a religion piece.
We're the monks.
Then, there's packs of nuns,
some packs of rabbis
going all around the city tonight,
doing scenes.
We had trouble finding imams, though.
Yeah, see, for those guys,
you need to sweeten the deal.
Like, mams get to give out cocktails or
something.
- Carry adorable kittens.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, next month, we got a big dance piece.
We're gonna be dancing
with live rats at a food festival.
You want to join us?
Are you comfortable dancing with rodents?
Hell, no. They always try to lead.
And I'm gonna be in Amsterdam, yo,
starting my new life,
- Figuring out my sh*t.
- Mm-hmm.
Quit my job at Dave & Buster's,
selling off my stash,
smoking off my stash.
You used to work
at Dave & Buster's?
- Mm-hmm.
- Damn!
- Can you get me free games?
- Hell, no.
My manager, Carl, is serious as f*ck.
Man would charge you for an ice cube.
To one amazing night.
To New York City, baby.
Ah!
In five... four... three... two...
As many of you are aware,
we suffered a terrible tragedy
here at the Litchfield Correctional Camp
yesterday.
As warden, it is my job to ensure
that this prison runs safely
and effectively.
Because we are a woman's camp,
that responsibility is often
underestimated...
Oh, sh*t. He's going off-book.
The assumption being
that minimum-security women
do not pose a physical thr*at,
that as long as they are clothed and fed,
the ship will run smoothly.
Well, our ship ran off its course
yesterday,
and because of that,
a young woman lost her life.
Sadly, there is nothing we can do
to bring her back.
Now, I understand in these situations
everybody's hungry for blood.
Everybody is looking for a scapegoat.
In this case, the officer responsible...
well, he was set up to fail.
He was a victim of circumstance.
Every day,
my officers deal with convicted felons.
Every day, they interact with women
who are sent here to serve their time,
to repent for their crimes.
Any allegations coming from them
or any other source
are just not credible.
My officer fulfilled his duty,
and I defend his actions.
He will take a short leave of absence
and be back in uniform
pending investigation.
Thank you all.
I will not be answering questions
at this time.
Man, they ain't gonna fire him!
They're letting him go free!
They called him the f*cking victim!
Yo, they're letting him off!
They're letting him off!
They didn't even say her name, yo!
They didn't even say her name!
Come on. Pick up. Pick up!
- There's no justice.
- What's going on?
There's no justice!
They f*cking defended him?!
f*ck this place!
We are done! f*ck this place!
f*ck this place! f*ck this place!
Yo, some sh*t's going down.
Come on. Let's go.
Hey, this mean
we are gonna be on TV
Or we're not gonna be on TV?
I got to know these things.
It means sharpen your f*cking eye pencil.
I use liquid liner.
- Attica!
- Attica! Attica!
Attica!
You're missing all the fun! Come on!
What's Attica again?
I don't know.
I heard other people saying it.
Maybe it's the dad from that bird book.
You mean "To k*ll a Mocking Jay"?
Yeah! "Hungry Games."
- Attica!
- Attica!
We're done!
No more?
- That's it.
- All right.
Do you want to say any last words?
That's right! Burn this m*therf*cker!
- Maybe another time.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Oh!
Daya, you sure you know what you're doing?
Maybe you want to give it to someone else.
Oh, f*ck. sh*t.
Hey, lady C.O., get on the floor
with your hand behind your head right now
before I sh**t your little friend here
in the eyeball.
Yeah, that's right.
Put it right in his f*cking face.
Good.
Jesus, Diaz.
f*cking C.O.'s you all are pieces of sh*t.
♪ We are kneeling at the river's edge
and tempting ♪
sh*t.
Here it is.
♪ Is it only when you feel a part
is empty ♪
♪ That it's gnawing at the corners
of your mind? ♪
♪ I will ask you for mercy ♪
♪ I will come to you blind ♪
♪ What you'll see is the worst me ♪
♪ Not the last of my kind ♪
♪ In the muddy water we're falling ♪
♪ In the muddy water we're crawling ♪
♪ Hold me down ♪
♪ Hold me now ♪
♪ Sold me out ♪
♪ In the muddy waters we're falling ♪
♪ It is not clear why we choose
the fire pathway ♪
♪ Where we end is not the way
that we had planned ♪
♪ All the spirits gather 'round
like it's our last day ♪
♪ To get across you know we'll have to
raise the sand ♪
♪ I will ask you for mercy ♪
♪ I will come to you blind ♪
♪ What you'll see is the worst me ♪
♪ And not the last of my kind ♪
♪ In the muddy water, we're falling ♪
♪ In the muddy water we're crawling ♪
04x13 - Toast Can't Never Be Bread Again
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Piper Chapman is sentenced to a year and a half behind bars to face the reality of how life-changing prison can really be.
Piper Chapman is sentenced to a year and a half behind bars to face the reality of how life-changing prison can really be.