06x08 - Merry Wishmas

[bunniefuu]

[Men and women] ♪ timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

[Men and women] ♪ the doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings.

Float-y crown-y things.

[Men and women] ♪ oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

[Men and women] ♪ oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

[Vicky] yeah, right.

[Jazzy version of jingle bells]

♪

[Cosmo] "'twas the day after christmas,

"And all through the house,

"Not a creature was stirring except for timmy,

Who didn't get the sled he wanted for christmas!"

Keep looking. It's got to be here.

[Dramatic music]

I found your new parka and long johns.

Poof found your new galoshes,

And I found your new rock salt.

Mmm, rock salt!

I knew it!

Santa did bring me my sled.

Now I can race the guys on doomsdale hill.

A snow shovel? Ah!

I didn't get what I wanted for christmas!

[Mr. Turner] well, join the club, mister.

I asked for , gallonsof nog,

But instead all I got was this set of golf clubs,

An suv,

The hope diamond,

A talking horse...

Hey, timmy.

And this stupid sled

Or, as I like to call it, firewood.

No!

[Mrs. Turner] timmy, I think your presents

Are wonderful

And that santa was very thoughtful...

To your dad and me.

Now, don't come inside where it's warm

Until the driveway's clear.

Merry day after christmas.

I wish the driveway was clear.

I wish I was clear!

Aw, don't be mad, timmy.

Think of all the wonderful things you do have,

Not what you don't have.

Yeah, like, I don't have a totally hot bod,

But I don't complain.

I just do this.

Not what I was going for, but it's kind of hot.

You need to shave your pits.

[Timmy] wait.

Magic, duh. That's it.

I may not have gotten what I wanted for christmas,

So it's time to celebrate wishmas.

I wish I had a super-fast sled and was at doomsdale hill.

[Giggles]

Awesome!

A winter wonderland full of kids riding their...

[Wanda] garbage cans?

[Cosmo] bubble-jet printers?

Whoa!

Tubas?

cr*ck!

Guys, we all agreed to ask santa for sleds.

What happened?

What happened?

Hit it, elmer.

[Melancholy tuba music]

♪ I didn't get what I wanted for christmas ♪

♪ Not one thing that was on my list ♪

♪ Things under our tree

♪ We never wanted to see

[Together] ♪ and at santa,

♪ We're all really...mad

Hit it!

[Lively swing music]

♪

♪ I wanted a remote-control fire-breathing dragon ♪

♪ But all santa brought was a stupid red wagon ♪

♪ I wanted me a dress with a pretty red bow ♪

♪ But instead I got a football and a jarhead joe ♪

♪ And elmer asked santa for a trip to aruba ♪

♪ But instead all he gave me was this really heavy tuba ♪

♪ We can't believe our holiday season ♪

♪ Looks like this

♪ Because none of this stuff was on our christmas list ♪

Cheese?

Not on the list!

♪

♪ All I wanted this year was my two front teeth ♪

♪ But under my tree, I found jerky beef ♪

♪ I wanted eggnog, but instead, of course... ♪

♪ He was given a gorgeous talking horse ♪

♪ The cash that I wanted, I didn't get ♪

♪ But one thing I did get is very upset ♪

[All] ♪ we can't believe

♪ Our holiday season looks like this ♪

♪ Because none of this stuff was on our christmas list ♪

A trash can?

[All] not on the list!

♪

♪ We got new toys, but they're all educational ♪

♪ I got tickets to a golf invitational ♪

♪ Self-help tapes just aren't motivational ♪

♪ All I wanted was a ride to the new space stational ♪

♪

[All] ♪ if we could talk to santa claus ♪

♪ We'd have to say this

Brand-new underwear?

[All] not on the list!

A shaver for back hair?

[All] not on the list!

A baby-proof high chair?

[All] not on the list!

♪ It's not on the list

A bubble-jet printer?come on!

[All] not on the list!

Anyway, bye, timmy.

Call me if you need anything printed.

Or if you want to throw anything away.

It's not fair.

My pals didn't get what they wanted for christmas.

Yeah, but not everybody can have a merry wishmas

Like you, you know.

Yeah, I want to give every kid in dimmsdale

One day-after-christmas wish.

What are we supposed to do,

Poof up a magical wish coupon good for one wish?

Yeah, then hand-deliver them to every kid in town

Like some kind of magic mailmen?

[Laughter]

You had to say "magic mailmen"?

[Cosmo] "so to every mailbox in dimmsdale they carried

A coupon to make the day after christmas more merry."

[Jazzy version of jingle bells]

♪

Huh?

Like what, I'm just supposed to wish

For a flying pink sea horse named timmy?

The wish coupon really works!

Heigh-ho, timmy!

I wish my elephant had a friend

Named timmy.

[Elephant bellows]

I can wish for my sled?

Wait, even better,

I wish I had a turbo-flying pizza...

With pepperoni!

Awesome!

May the cheese be with you!

I wish I had a ,-terabyte supercomputer.

Merry wishmas, a.j.

That's kinda creepy.

[Cosmo] "and that's how young timmy revamped dimmsdale's christmas

By granting the children a cool..."

[All] merry wishmas!

Where'd you get that book, anyway?

Under your tree.

It's a real page-turner.

I can't wait to find out who the k*ller is.

A wish coupon?

Ooh, I could wish for my , gallons of nog.

Or I could wish I was nogman, the caped crusader of nog!

Yep, going with nogman.

[Triumphant music]

Nog, nog, and away!

Well, sport, you did it.

It looks like everybody in dimmsdale

Is having a merry wishmas.

[Vicky screaming] one measly wish?

What a rip-off.

Wait, I'm evil and greedy.

I know; I wish I had a million wishes.

[Laughs evilly]

[All cheering]

I wish my elephant's friend had friends

All named timmy.

[Elephants bellow]

[Dramatic music]

Hee! I wish I had a super noggy loyal super sidekick.

Sit, nog dog.

Yes! Woof!

[All yelling wishes]

[Cosmo] "as the joy of new wishmas round dimmsdale exploded,

The big wand in fairyworld was way overloaded."

[Alarm blaring]hey, what's with all the noise?

The big wand is overloading, sir.

But it is the day after christmas.

Santa gave the magic back.

Where is all this wishing coming from?

Turner, of course.

Temporary shutdown mode now!

[All cheering]

[All groaning]

Wishmas is over.

But look; we have enough presents and pizza

To last us forever!

Remember the alamo!

[Cheering]

Cool, a mountain of toys.

Maybe this isn't so bad.

Now it's bad again.

Turner, what is going on?

This is chet ubetcha

Saying here's what's going on.

Santa's got new holiday rivals, the magic mailmen.

Kids worldwide who have been dissed by santa

Are already hoping they get a visit

From these powerful postmen next year.

So from now on,

It's good-bye, christmas, hello, wishmas.

Whoo-hoo!

[Timmy] what?

I didn't want to get rid of christmas.

I was just trying

To do something nice for a change.

You did; you finally got rid

Of that out-of-shape red-and-white windbag

Who uses our magic every year

And doesn't give us credit!

Finally, fairies can rule the holiday season

And get the props we deserve.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must prepare.

Next wishmas will be here before you know it.

Wait!

I don't want the world to forget about santa.

Don't worry, timmy.

Nobody could ever forget about santa.

Santa who? Santa monica?

Santa barbara? Santa clarita?

Wishmas is a passing fad,

And santa would never leave the north pole

And give up on christmas.

[Doorbell rings]

[Santa] I've given up on christmas.

Thanks to you, timmy,

The world doesn't want me anymore.

And now that I've lost my job,

We'll be needing a place to stay.

So we're moving into your ho, ho, home.

More toys for me?

No, it's my laundry.

Oh, and I like my cookies warm and my milk chilled.

Merry wishmas, turner.

Let's hit the kitchen, boys.

[Cosmo] "so on that very first wishmas,

"Santa, elves, and spouse said, 'timmy k*lled christmas'

And moved into his house."

Gah!

You're the k*ller!

I just wanted a sled!

[Elves chattering and glass shattering]

Lunch is served.

So, timmy...

You won a radio contest

Where santa comes to live with you?

Okay.

Hey, where's the can?

I got to go drop some presents down the chimney,

If you know what I mean.

[Belches]

I need more milk.

Why drink milk

When you can enjoy thick, artery-clogging nog?

Quick, nog dog!

I hear cries for help from nog-deprived citizens.

To the nog cave!

Who was that masked man?

You're kidding, right?

Well, santa, if I'm going to feed you,

The missus, and all your elves,

I'd better go shopping.

What would you like for dinner?

[All] milk and cookies.

[Sighs] of course.

Look, santa, mrs. Claus, elves--

We prefer the term

"Vertically challenged toymakers."

So do i.

There's been a huge misunderstanding,

So I suggest you all head back to the north pole

To get ready for next christmas,

Which is in days.

Who's with me?

[Santa laughs]

Timmy, that's a fine suggestion.

But because of your "magic mailmen" friends,

No one wants me around anymore.

What are we watching, boys?

Horse condo.

Some guy has to live with a horse for six months.

We're h-h-h-h-hooked.

But I was just trying to help everybody

Who didn't get what they wanted for christmas.

Instead of focusing on what you didn't get, timmy,

You should be happy with what you already have.

You stay out of this.

And why didn't you just give me a sled?

None of this would have happened if you'd just given me a sled.

Timmy, you're a big boy now.

You got yourself into this,

And I know you'll get yourself out.

In the meantime,

My days of "ho, ho, ho" are oh, oh, over.

Splat!

Ooh, I knew he was going to step in that.

[Laughter]

This is bad, really bad.

But look on the bright side, timmy.

You're going to be famous.

You're the boy who k*lled christmas.

This wishmas thing's gotten really out of hand.

So I wish it had never happened.

I won't let you.

Why is jorgen here?

I didn't wish for jorgen.

I am here to tell you

That you can't wish wishmas away, timmy turner.

You have created an exciting new holiday

That people have fallen in love with.

Look!

"I love you, magic mailman.

"But could you be buffer, wear tighter clothes,

"And be a better physical specimen

For the holiday season?"

Wait, this is your handwriting.

I know, and I completely agree with me.

From now on, I will be the magic mailman!

And you two will be my helpers,

The mail mites.

I will now bring the holiday season

A buffness it has been sorely lacking;

A clean, close shave instead of an old, white beard;

A "ha, ha, ha" instead of a "ho, ho, ho."

You'll never get rid of santa, jorgen.

I don't have to; you already did.

Okay, boys.

Start leaking those photos onto the internet.

Merry wishmas, everyone!

[Laughs]

Oh, don't worry, sport.

There's no way

That santa's just going to retire from making toys.

He's going to "ho, ho, ho" it before you know, know, know it.

[Mrs. Turner] timmy.

When is this contest over?

No, I don't want any cookies.

When do I get my house back?

As soon as santa gets his "ho, ho, ho" back.

[Santa] ho, ho, ho!

And there it is.

I love to hoe, hoe, hoe.

Gardening is great, timmy.

I couldn't grow squat up at the north pole.

Too much snow.

Look, my mistletoe's coming in

Thanks to the fresh manure.

Yeah, I gave

And asked for nothing in return.

Timmy, you getting kids to forget about christmas

Was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

♪ Doo dee doo doo doo doo

Well, I might not be able to wish away wishmas,

But I can wish up stuff

To make santa go back to the pole

And make toys again.

Wands up and ready to fire, timmy.

I wish for a heat wave so hot

That santa will want to go back to the north pole.

Maybe that's a little too hot.

Ooh, my inbox is clogged on the nog blog, nog dog.

Great scott.

There's a parched man

Who needs the rejuvenating powers of nog.

Quick, to the nogmobile!

[Howls]

Insert nog nozzle.

Turn nog nob.

Oh, thank you,nogman.

Don't thank me.

Thank the nog. Woof!

Okay, magic isn't working.

What's the book say?

"When timmy realized santa wasn't going away,

They all sucked it up until thanksgiving day."

[Mrs. Claus] happy thanksgiving, everyone.

This book is incredibly accurate.

Now, who wants milk?

[Nogman] milk? Loser.

Who wants nog?

Oh, it is on!

[Screaming]

An entire year of cookies and nog

For breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

[Screams]

I'm sick of cookies!

I'm sick of radio contests!

[Laughs maniacally]

Well, there goes my mom

And santa's only ride to the north pole.

But the good news is that tomorrow's

Officially the start of the christmas season.

Right.

There's no way santa could ignore the christmas spirit.

I'm chet ubetcha saying it's the start

Of everyone's favorite new holiday season, wishmas.

People all over dimmsdale are preparing themselves

For the arrival of their favorite new holiday icons,

The magic mailman and his mail mites.

'Tis the seasons that we can wish for so much stuff,

It lasts all year.

So to the magic mailman, we say yes, yes, yes.

To santa, we say stay ho, ho, home.

Is this supposed to cheer us up?

Put horse condo back on!

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, santa.

Kids really don't watch the news.

They watch christmas specials.

[Man] and what happened then?

Down in whatville, they say,

The grump's little heart grew big wishmas day.

No!

I want to celebrate christmas, not wishmas.

Well, timmy, seems like this year,

You're the only one.

Oh, yeah?

What about this?

[Small child's voice] "dear santa, I believe in you.

"I can't imagine christmas without you.

"You're the greatest, most jolliest christmas hero ever."

Nice try, turner.

But you can't quit!

I'll--i'll...

Miss you.

You gonna finish that, timmy?

There, I gave. Happy now?

You've done your best,sport.

But one sad kid isn't enough

To get santa out of retirement.

Then I'll just have to get an army of sad kids.

[Together] what do you mean?

[Cosmo] "so christmas was gone,

And it brought wishmas cheer."

It's wishmas day, nog dog.

No, don't pee in here!

[Wanda] any last wish

Before jorgen gets here?

Yes, I wish I had a big butterfly net

And a remote-control trapdoor.

Wow, didn't see that coming.

What are you doing,timmy?

You know we don't have any powers

Under a butterfly net.

Exactly.

Now there's not going to be any more wishmas.

Are you forgetting about jorgen?

Ha, ha ha!

You better watch out.

The magic mailman

Is coming to--

[Screams]

Cosmo, start reading.

"Timmy leaned out,

"And he heard a small humming

"As the kids were around all their mailboxes, bumming.

"All realized at once, with great shock and some tears,

That the magic mailman wasn't coming this year."

[Sobbing]

[Sobbing]

[Many people sobbing]

Timmy, please let us deliver the coupons.

The sadness of the children is too great.

Wait for it.

[Santa] ho, ho, ho!

[Shell horn blowing]

What is it, santa?

Boys, we're back.

Now, let's turn those wishmas tears

Into christmas cheers.

But, santa, it's impossible.

The reindeer took off,

We sold the sleigh to buy cookie mix,

And we ain't got no fairyworld magic.

Nothing's impossible if you believe.

[Nogman] I believe, santa!

You can use my nogmobile to deliver toys.

Can it fly?

Not in the sky, no.

[Mrs. Turner] I believe too!

I have returned

So that the reindeer may pull santa's nogmobile

And so that he can take mrs. Claus and her cookies

Far away.

I knew you'd be back, santa.

I knew you'd never let the kids down.

Yeah, well, we're still in trouble.

I haven't made a toy all year.

What am I suppose to give the kids all around the world?

Leave that to us.

[Children cheering]

[Boy] timmy, you blew the conch shell.

It must be important.

Santa needs our help,

And we're going to give it to him.

Last year, all we thought about was what we didn't get.

This year, we need to figure out what we can give.

Right, because christmas isn't a coupon

That comes in a mailbox.

It's a feeling that comes in your heart.

Still creepy.

Here's my sled, santa.

Please give it to someone who needs it more than me.

Congratulations, timmy.

You finally got what you needed.

You now understand the true meaning of christmas.

Let's all get toys for santa.

[Cosmo] "and what happened then?

"Well, in dimmsdale, they say

That the kids gave the entire toy mountain away."

Hop in, timmy.

It's time to bring christmas back.

Ho, ho, ho!

Let's go, go, go!

[Jorgen] no, no, no!

You are not going anywhere.

I am the new, buff symbol of the holiday season,

And I say

Get your rotund rear end out of that car!

[Together] ooh!

Christmas magic, go!

Oh, what I meant to say was, merry christmas.

[Santa] nog, nog, and away!

Hmm, you know, nogman,

You look a lot like my husband.

Is it possible you're--

Nog fog!

She must never know.

[Santa] ho, ho, ho!

[Children cheering]

"So next time you're blue on the day after christmas...

"Give something away,

And have your own merry wishmas."

Wait a minute.

You wrote the book

And put it under my tree, didn't you?

But how could you possibly know all this was going to happen

And that I'd learn a lesson?

Dude, I'm santa.

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry christmas, a.j.

Still creepy.

[Nogman] nog fog!