08x05 - When L.O.S.E.R.S. att*ck

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Fairly OddParents". Aired: March 30, 2001 – July 26, 2017.*
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Series follows the adventures of Timmy Turner, a 10-year-old boy with two fairy godparents named Cosmo and Wanda who grant him wishes to solve his everyday problems.
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08x05 - When L.O.S.E.R.S. att*ck

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

[Circus music]



[Dramatic music]

- [Gasping]

[Grunts]

Wait! v*olence never solved anything.

Can't we settle this with a game of dodge ball?

Or maybe checkers?

Ah, come on, that's not how you play.

No!

[School bell rings]

[Chews and swallows]

Man, I love lunch.

Besides recess, it's my favorite class of the day.

- I was a little disappointed in the vegetable medley.

The carrots were way off-key.

- Ha-ha! Hi-ya!

[All screaming]

I call that move crouching crocker, hidden teacher.

[Exclamations]

I've been waiting in that locker for six months.

But it was worth it to finally capture

Your fairies!

- I don't have fairies, mr. Crocker.

But if I did, I'd wish they'd make a giant bear smash

Your crocker pot.

- [Growling]

- It's a good thing my leg's been asleep since july.

Otherwise, that would hurt like the dickens.

- [Growls]

- [Shrieks]

I'll get you for this, turner,

Right after I build myself a peg leg in wood shop.

- You know what's great about space?

No mr. Crocker. I'm totally safe.

- Except for the deadly asteroids,

Intense solar radiation,

Oh, and the fact that I spilled chocolate milk

In the life support system.

[Electricity crackling]

[All scream]

- Oh, no, it's dark laser.

I got to think fast.

- At last, flipsy, we have captured timmy turner.

It was worth hiding out for six months

In the cold outer reaches of space.

- [Yips]

- [Laughs wickedly]

- [Growling]

- It's a good thing my legs are frozen.

Otherwise, that would have hurt like the dickens.

- [Growls]

- I'll get you for this, turner.

- [Growling]

- Flipsy!

- Whoo-hoo!

Phew. Fairy world.

Definitely no enemies here.

- That's what you think.

It was worth hiding in this bush for six months

Because now I'm hot on your tail.

Speaking of hot tails, there seem to be fire ants in here.

[Shrieking] stifled screams of agony!

- Thanks for coming to the museum, sport.

Poof really wanted to see the fairy-clipse exhibit.

- Poof-poof!

- Okay, I wanted to see the fairy-clipse exhibit.

- What's a fairy-clipse?

- It's a rare astronomical event

That's happening tomorrow.

Once every million years, the sun passes

Between the earth and the magical realms

Of anti-fairy and fairy world.

- And that's why we eat yams on thanksgiving.

Oops, I spilled my chocolate milk again.

- [Chuckles]

[Gasp and screams]

Hello, again, auntie wanda and uncle idiot.

It's time for me to crash your son

With the sun!

- Ah! Another enemy.

Bear, please.

- [Growls]

- [Howling]

- It's a good thing those fire ants

Number my legs with their venom.

Otherwise, that would have hurt like the dickens.

I'll get you for this, turner!

- [Growling] - [screams]

Muffled screams of pain!

- Welcome to the cake 'n' bacon.

What can I get you?

- All you have is cake and bacon,

So I can't exactly order the veal parmesan, can i?

- And what can I get for you, honey?

- Death! To timmy turner.

Oh, and a mango iced tea.

- Ooh, is death to timmy turner on the menu?

- If it is, count me in.

- How about three orders of cake 'n' bacon?

And you're in luck.

Bear att*ck victims get % off.

- Well, it seems we all share a common bond.

- Really? You like veal parmesan too?

- I think he was referring to our mutual hatred

Of timmy turner.

Isn't that right, flipsy?

[Giggles]

- Indeed, I was.

He's the bane of my existence.

- Mine too! - Really? Same with me.

- Oh, calm down.

You're getting cake on your creepy metal face.

You know, maybe the three of us should form a team.

With my brains, your anger problem,

And your creepy metal face,

We might be able to destroy turner.

- You're right. United, nothing can stop us!

[Car horn beeps]

- Except maybe that bear.

- From this moment on, we are one.

Bound by a common enemy,

We will join forces and contribute equally.

Could you guys pick up the check?

I left my wallet in my swim diaper.

- Phew. - Morning, son.

What are you doing?

- Looking for scary enemies.

- Scary enemies? Is that a new kind of cereal?

- Let's see.

No scary enemies,

But we do have fruity foes

And sugar-frosted fiends.

Honey, can you pick up a box of scary enemies at the store?

All the cool kids and timmy are eating them.

- Phew. All clear.

Looks like I might actually live to see tomorrow.

- I wonder if I'll live to see tomorrow.

Maybe I should start doing the things on my bucket list.

Wait, this isn't the list.

It's a receipt for the bucket.

Oh, oh, here it is.

Let's see. "Buy bucket."

Did that. Ooh. "Join some kind of club."

Let's see if the paper has any clubs listed.

Sewing club. That sounds like fun.

- No!

- What is it, timmy?

Have you heard not-so-good things about the sewing club?

- No, dad, my sworn enemies

Have teamed up to destroy me.

- So the sewing club is fine then?

Ooh, that's a relief. See ya.

- Guys, I'm in serious trouble.

Mr. Crocker, dark laser, and foop

Are working together to get me.

You got to protect me.

[Grunts] - this is terrible.

- What is it? Are they attacking?

- No. I spilled my chocolate milk again.

- I call the meeting to order.

- Keep your voice down, metal head.

Mother's getting what she ironically calls

Her "beauty sleep."

- First on the agenda, pick a name for our evil club.

- How about the flipsies?

- Super lame. Moving on.

- Ooh, check this out-- the crocker jacks.

- What does that even mean?

- Sorry. You put me on the spot and I panicked.

- Flipsy and I both want the flipsies.

- Focus, people.

We need a name that says we're a league

Of super evil revenge seekers.

That's it.

We're the league

Of super evil revenge seekers.

- Works for me.

No one will make fun of us with a name like that.

- Ah, sport, you've been standing

At that window for hours.

Why don't you sit down and relax?

- I can't relax, because my enemies are after me.

And I can't sit down because the chocolate milk

Rusted my armor butt.

- Hi, timmy.

[All scream]

- Ah! What happened to you?

- Well, it turns out sewing's not my thing.

What's with the outfit, son?

Was "dress like a kook" on your bucket list?

- No, dad, it's protection from my scary enemies.

- I don't know why you need protection

From a breakfast cereal,

But, getting back to me,

I have joined a skydiving club.

See ya. [Crash]

The ground is hard!

[Telephone rings] - hello?

- Hi, timmy. It's trixie tang

Calling to say I love you.

- Tell us again why you had to dress up

To make the phone call. - You love me?

What changed your mind, trixie?

- You want to waste time asking questions,

You little pipsqueak, or do you want to meet me

For a romantic date?

- Uh, sure, trixie. Where?

- At the junkyard.

In the car crusher.

[Laughter]

- I would have picked the beach at sunset,

But okay.

Guys, trixie loves me.

Poof me to the junkyard.

- Uh, doesn't the timing of this strike you as a little fishy?

- What? That trixie tang is suddenly in love with me

And wants to meet me

In a machine capable of crushing steel?

A little. But I'm in denial.

Ah, there she is.

The most beautiful girl in all of dimmsdale.

- Boy, you really are in denial.

- Yoo-hoo!

I'm waiting for you, timmy.

[Makes kissing sounds]

- I have to say the flipsies are a little creeped out by this.

- We're not calling ourselves that!

- Oh, timmy!

The fairy-clipse is about to happen.

And when it does...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

We'll talk about it later.

I'm falling in love.

[Screams] - well, you're falling

In something.

[All scream]

- You? Mr. Crocker?

- That's right, turner.

And you get an "f" for "fooled you"!

Crush him, losers.

- This is way more complicated than the death ball.

I just have an upsy and downsy button.

- I'll handle this.

- [Screams]

- Good job, guys.

Wow, what a couple of freaks.

Oh, darn it.

There's a run in mother's pantyhose.

- Cosmo, wanda, help!

Poof me out of here, guys.

- Uh-oh.

It's the fairy-clipse.

- Who cares about the fairy-clipse?

And why aren't you floating?

- That's what I was trying to tell you.

When the sun passes between the fairy worlds

And the earth, it blocks the big wands

That gives fairies their magic.

- And that's why we eat ham on christmas.

- Poof-poof.

- Poof's right. This has nothing to do with ham.

But until the eclipse ends at midnight tomorrow,

We won't have any magic.

- No!

[Evil laughter]

- What are we gonna do?

- Well, we could either get squashed like bugs

Or I could jam my titanium thermos into the crusher.

- Why do you have a titanium thermos?

- Because I got sick of spilling my chocolate milk.

Also I figured it would come in handy if I ever got squashed

By a car crusher.

- Just save us!

[Machinery whining]

[Steam sound escalating]

[Evil laughter]

[Shaking]

[Screaming and grunts]

- Gah! Turner's getting away.

To the unsuspecting van.

- Wait for me.

I lost my magic. Tiny legs.

- Aagh!

- Wait!

[Hollering]

- [Screaming]

- Blast him with your death ray.

- Death ray? On a teacher's salary?

I don't even have fm radio.

- Aagh!

Skydiving's not my thing.

- Aagh!

[All screaming]

- Ugh, trixie tang has really let herself go.

Ground hurts.

- Okay, not gonna panic.

Got to stay calm.

The fairy-clipse only lasts until midnight tomorrow.

I can't believe it drained you of your magic.

- Duh. Everyone knows that, timmy.

Just like everyone knows you eat a groundhog on groundhog day.

- No, you don't.

- Oh, now you tell me.

[Gags]

[Vomits]

Hey, punxsutawney phil, no hard feelings?

[Exclaims]

- Okay, I may not be able to make new wishes,

But maybe I can use some of my old ones.

Let's see. A catapult.

That's a good start.

Now all I need is some a*mo.

I've got marshmallows, a box of feathers.

- A-choo!

- Cotton balls. Not exactly armed to the teeth.

- Phil's got my arm in his teeth. Aagh!

- Turner getting away was a bit of a setback,

But, on the bright side,

Our t-shirts came in.

Okay, we need a new plan to annihilate turner.

Anybody? - I know!

Has anyone ever heard of a venusian face-eating spider?

- Do they actually eat people's faces?

- Oh, the face is just the appetizer.

[Laughs wickedly]

- You're the scariest baby I've ever met.

- I get that a lot.

Anyway, I've got a shoe box full of face-eaters right here.

Oops. I forgot to punch air holes in it.

Anybody else got a plan?

- How about we capture turner in my death ball,

Fly him to the outer reaches of the galaxy,

And drop him into a black hole?

- Eh, seems a little elaborate.

Can't we just make him a sandwich with some bad pastrami?

- We'll put it to a vote.

All in favor of the black hole idea...

- [Barks]

- Fine. But I'm making the sandwich as a backup.

I can always give it to mother if she gets on my back

About the torn pantyhose.

- [Grunts]

Okay, my tree house is now officially a safe house.

[Thuds and exclamations]

- What's happening?

- Fire the catapult!

- We can't. Poof ate the a*mo.

- I joined a lumberjack club, timmy.

Timber.

Oops.

I wonder if there's a hide from the police club.

Bye, timmy. I've got to get

Dinkleberg's prints on this axe.

[All shout]

- [Screams]

Help!

- Hang in there, timmy.

We'll save you as soon as we get our magic back.

- That won't be for another hours!

- I'm not saying it's a perfect plan.

- [Hollers]

Wait. You guys are calling yourselves the losers?

- It stands for league of super evil revenge seekers.

- Approaching black hole.

- We know you're doing that voice.

- No, I'm not. [Beeping]

[Evil laughter]

- Finally, we'll be rid of timmy turner forever.

I'd high-five, but my arms are too short.

- Turner, do you have any last words

Before we drop you into the void?

- Um, can't we just talk this over?

For hours?

- No, we can't.

Opening hatch.

- And I thought his toy dog was weird.

- Toy dog. That's it.

Flipsy! - [Laughs wickedly]

Watch this, flipsy.

- Aagh!

- Flipsy! No!

I'll save you.

Save him!

[Both shouting]

I probably should have tied a rope to them.

Hang on, flipsy.

Daddy's coming. Wah!

I probably should have tied myself to something.

- Later, losers.

Yahoo!

[All screaming]

- I wonder where black holes take you.

[Screaming]

Bakersfield.

So einstein was right.

- Turner has my ship.

We'll have to take the bus back to dimmsdale.

[Bus horn honks]

[All groan]

- [Growls]

[Screaming]

- Oh, I can't believe turner got away again.

On the bright side,

We still get the % bear att*ck discount.

- We failed. Face it.

The losers are a bunch of...

What's the word?

- Yes. What is that word?

It's on the tip of my tongue?

- No, that's the face-eating spider.

- Aagh! It's alive! Aagh!

- It's no use.

We'll never get turner.

Even flipsy's lost hope.

- [Whimpers] - good news!

I drowned the spider in a root beer float.

Luckily, I got him before he bit me.

- Wait a minute, I think I know someone who can help us.

Someone so hideously evil, she strikes fear

In the hearts of everyone she encounters.

- Is she single? - Legend has it

She'll magically appear

If you mention her name in a cheap diner.

Vicky.

[All scream]

- What do you losers want?

- We want timmy turner's head on a platter.

- And a mango iced tea.

- So you want to destroy the twerp and you need my help.

- Wait, why would we listen to a mere teenage girl?

- [Growls]

- [Growls]

- [Whimpers]

- You're hired.

- Yes, we'll give you a team t-shirt

And your standard babysitting fee of $. An hour.

- Keep your money.

I'll help you annihilate timmy

For the sheer joy of it.

- Ooh, I like you.

- Never look in the eyes!

- Aagh! I'm blind.

- Time to whip you wimps into shape.

[All screaming]

- [Laughs wickedly]

Come on, you losers.

[All grunting]

[All screaming]

- This is very embarrassing.

- [Blows whistle]

[All shouting]

[All screaming]

[Laughs wickedly]

Congratulations, maggots.

You're ready.

- Excellent.

Now what's the plan?

I know. We'll buy a giant flat-screen tv,

Throw out the tv, and disguise the box as a video arcade

To lure turner inside.

- Then we'll tape the box shut,

Drag it to the base of mount dimmsdale,

And start an avalanche.

- And once he's buried alive,

We'll dig him up and punch him.

- That's just complicated.

And stupid.

It's four against one.

Let's just straight up destroy him.

- Oh, I really like her.

- Oh, she's a delight.

- The eyes!

- Only half an hour till the fairy-clipse ends.

- And I can finally poof this groundhog off my leg.

I think he gave me rabies.

- Half an hour.

I'm gonna make it. - Yeah.

The only way those losers could possibly get you now

Is if they teamed up with somebody

Even more evil than they are.

But what are the odds of that?

- Aagh! Vicky?

What are you doing with them?

- They brought me in

To take you out.

And that's just what we're gonna do, twerp.

[Laughs wickedly]

- Aagh!

Yaagh!

- Poof-poof!

- You're right, poof.

We have to save timmy.

- Look. I can blow bubbles.

Ooh.

Also my kidneys are shutting down.

- Aagh! - You can run, turner,

But you can't hide.

- [Exclaims]

- This is for flipsy.

- Aagh!

Aagh!

- [Hollers]

- What have I done? - [Groans]

- [Exclaims]

Poison ivy!

- Aagh!

- I give you an "f" for "finished".

Or maybe it was two "f"s for "fried foop".

- Aagh! Guys!

How did you get here?

- We took the bear bus.

- [Growls]

[Bus horn honks]

- I can't run much more.

How long till the fairy-clipse ends?

- One more minute, sport.

- We're coming for you, twerp!

- I have a plan.

The second the fairy-clipse ends,

Here's what I want you to do.

[Whispers]

[Cheers]

- Now to grant timmy's wish.

- [Panting]

[Grunts]

Wait, v*olence never solved anything.

Can't we settle this with a game of dodge ball?

Ugh. Or maybe checkers?

Ugh. Ah, come on.

That's not how you play.

No!

- [Barks] - heh! I got you, twerp.

Wait. Why do I sound like timmy?

- Ha, you get an "f", turner

For "feel my wrath".

Aagh, I thought I destroyed you.

- In your dreams, turner.

It is i, foop, who will destroy you.

- Then you get an "f" for "fat chance"!

- Guys, we did it!

- Poof-poof!

- That was a great idea, sport.

Wishing to turn your enemies into timmy lookalikes

Tricked them into annihilating each other.

- Oh, is that what we were doing?

I thought we were playing checkers.

Also my lungs are filled with fluid.

- Thank goodness the fairy-clipse ended

Before they got you.

- And we won't have to worry

About another one for a million years.

- Well, there is the upcoming aurora fairy-alis

When the earth's magnetic fields block the big wands

For weeks.

- And that's why we eat sauerkraut

On german unification day.

- Hey, cosmo's right this time.

- Yay!

- I can't believe we blew it again.

You're fired, vicky.

- Fine. But I'm coming back with the bear.

- If we're going to destroy turner,

We'll need a way into his house.

- I think the new guy may be able to help with that.

[Bell on door jingles]

- Hi, fellas!

Thanks for letting me join your club.

What exactly do you guys do anyway?

- Just give us your house keys and we'll tell you.

- Hey, there's a spider in my root beer float.

Aagh!

- My eyes are numb.
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