10x16 - Dadlantis/Chloe Rules!

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Aah!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[rock music]

♪♪

[electronic music plays]

- Come on, come on!

- Timmy!

- Aw, I was one plunge away from being top clog dog!

- I have a great idea for our Save the Ocean science project!

- We have a Save the Ocean science project?

- Yes!

But instead of just picking up trash on the beach

like everybody else,

we get Cosmo and Wanda to poof us into the ocean

and clean it from the inside out!

- So we drown?

That's one way to get out of the project.

- No, we poof ourselves

into the coolest sea creatures of all time!

- Razor-tooth flounder?

- Mermaids!

- Okay, first of all, no.

And second of all, I don't want to clean the ocean.

It's bad enough that I have to clean

Cosmo and Wanda's fish bowl.

- Yeah, you're doing a bang-up job there, Timmy.

Timmy? Are you out there?

I can't see you through the fast food wrappers

and rusted-out car.

- We live in a toilet!

- Oh, Timmy!

Good news!

I found the abandoned mine shaft

where your mother hid my beloved bongos!

It's bongo time!

- Drop and cover!

There's gonna be a bongo-quake!

[both scream]

[cracks knuckles]

- What's happening?

We can't see in here!

- Well, at least I don't have to clean the fishbowl.

- Bongos are my jam!

- Aaah!

[dramatic music]

[car alarm blares]

all: Bongo-quake!

- People said it couldn't be done,

but after years of emergency room visits,

I've finally balanced a perfect archway

of -pound bowling balls!

At last, the world will respect me!

Press record, Mother!

- What's your password?

- Curse you, Mother!

- That's not very nice, Denzel.

- No, that's my password!

- Big finish!

- Gah!

[grunts]

[bongos banging]

- This tickles and hurts at the same time!

Ow! [giggles] Ow! [giggles]

- My bones are in different places!

- Aaah!

- Show's over, honey!

- You're not the boss of me, weird clown!

- I'm sorry, but you are forbidden

from ever playing the bongos in this house again.

Or anywhere people have ears.

- Ee! But they love me in Bongoladesh!

- Bongoladesh isn't a real place, Dad.

You made it up!

- What matters is that my family is taking away

the only thing I love!

You're mean! I'm running away! [wails]

- See you at dinner, Dad.

- No you won't!

Wait, what are we having? Doesn't matter, I'm leaving!

Unless it's spare ribs. Call me if it's spare ribs!

Running away again!

Don't forget to call! Beef! Not pork!

[door closes]

- Okay, so that happened.

It's time to poof into mermaids!

- No way.Never.

Not gonna happen.

- Wish granted!

[harp glissando]

- [gasps] This is the best!

I'm a mermaid!

- This is the worst!

I'm a mermaid!

Cosmo, poof me back!

- You got it, Tina!

- Timmy!

- Uh oh.

I shorted out our wands.

Maybe being an electric eel wasn't the best choice.

- When have you ever made the best choice?

And what kind of weird fish did you make me?

- You're a puffer fish, Wanda.

Whenever you get startled, you inflate like a freaky balloon!

- [shrieks]

- Like that.

- Okay, let's just pick up the stupid ocean junk

and get this over with

so I can get out of this bikini top.

- But Timmy, you look so cute!

- Cute? He's a knock-out!

♪♪

- Hey, my whoopee cushion collection!

My parents said these were stolen by novelty store bandits!

[horns blare]

- Aaah! Mer-people!

They're my merpeeps!

- Greetings, newcomers.

I am Neptuna, King of Atlantis,

and I commend your attempts to clean our home.

You are truly eco-warriors.

- Aaah! I'm a mermaid and an ecowarrior!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm Chloe and this is Timmy.

- Timmy?

That's a strange name for such a beautiful mermaid.

- I'm a dude, dude!

- Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Tina.

- Aaah! - Aaah!

- But alas, your efforts to save our world

are akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Which is right over there

if you're interested in checking it out.

- But Your Royalness,

why would cleaning up the ocean ever be a waste of time?

[bongo drum b*at]

Huh?

[all screaming]

- Because we are doomed.

We've been invaded by a horrible sea monster.

As you can see, the monster's roar

is disrupting the whales' sonar

and making it impossible for schools of little fish

to concentrate on reading, writing and fish-matick.

- I volunteer us!

We'll save you from the sea monster!

- And by "we" she means her.

- You can stay behind, beautiful Tina.

Perhaps you can spend a little one-on-one time

with my lonely son, Gary.

Can you believe he doesn't have a girlfriend?

- [laughs]

You're purdy.

- Well, I'm off to battle that sea monster!

- I'll wait for you.

[mysterious music]

♪♪

- Oh, boy.

Hanging with lonely Gary is starting to look

pretty good right now.

- I still can't believe I'm a mermaid

and an eco-warrior!

My life could end right now and I'd be happy.

[bongo drum b*at]

- Ah!

Sounds like there's a decent chance of that happening.

[both gasp]

- I'm scared, Wanda. Hold me!

- Aaah! I want to be an eel!

Aah!

Waah! Whoa!

♪

- Aaah! The sea monster is my dad!

- Ooh! Fish fans!

Welcome to my undersea man cave, bongo lovers!

According to the weird clown at my house,

I'm allowed to play here because fish don't have ears!

- We're not fish. We're mer-people!

- Eh, fish-tato, fish-tahto.

You want to hear "Bongo With the Flow"

or "Wake Me Up Before You Bong-gogo?"

- You can't play the bongos!

You're destroying the ocean!

- All I heard was "play!"

- With my eco-warriors on the case,

I can sit back, relax, and sip some scalding hot soup.

[bongo b*at]

[screams]

[whale wails]

[all gasp]

[coughing]

- Destroying the ocean is one thing,

but spilling my soup is the last straw!

We must defeat the sea monster.

Underwater army, att*ck!

[blows horn]

♪♪

We've been over this.

Pick up the pace, sea snails!

[rendition of "William Tell Overture"]

- Stop playing!

- But I'm coming up to my big solo!

- The whole thing is a solo!

You're playing alone!

- Eee! More adoring fans!

They love me so much they're bringing me giant forks!

- Sea monster, you will now pay for destroying our world

with your sonic w*apon.

- Aaah! - Aaah!

- Hmmm, I'm sensing some tension.

How about if I lighten up the mood

with my rendition of "And Bongo Was His Name-O?"

[plays bongos]

[ominous music]

♪♪

- Sea monster, the dreadful sounds you make

will hereby cease forever!

- Are you calling my bongo playing dreadful?

You're mean!

I'm running away! Guess not!

Why do clowns and fish and things with ears hate me?

- Don't worry.

That won't be a problem much longer.

You're about to be digested by that clam.

- Okay, that makes me feel a little bit better.

No wait, what?

- Timmy, I feel terrible!

We're gonna get a bad grade on our science project,

and your dad's being eaten by a clam!

I don't know what's worse!

- I'll tell you what's worse!

Being eaten by a clam!

Although, I could end up being the world's biggest pearl.

So that's a thing!

[all gasp]

[all scream]

- Chloe, I have an idea.

Let's never do a school project together again.

Also, I know how to save my dad and plug the oil leak!

All we have to do is--

- Get him to play the bongos so loud

that he causes a rock slide that plugs the leak?

- Yes! Why don't you ever let me say the plans?

Sea monster, I know you have more bongos on you!

- Maybe.

- You got to play your heart out!

- Oh, sure.

After you insulted me, now you want me to play.

Wow, this clam could use a breath mint!

- What would it take to get you to play, Mr. Sea Monster?

- He wants his own trailer.

And somebody else's trailer.

- And a little Chihuahua he can carry in a purse.

And the purse.

And a lactose intolerant cheese plate.

- Real cheese makes me toot!

- How about we just clap for you?

- That sounds great!

[bongo b*at]

♪

[clam spits]

♪

- He needs to play louder!

- We're on it!

Cosmo!

- Aaah!

Ooh! I've gone electric!

Sorry, fans of acoustic folk bongo!

♪

[all cheering]

Thank you, Atlantis!

Good night!

- The sea monster has saved us!

- Hey, the whole thing was my idea!

- Well, then, Tina, you shall be rewarded.

- Yes! What do I get?

- Gary's hand in marriage.

- I like to cuddle.

- Ugh, thank you, Atlantis!

Good night!

- I'll wait for you.

- People said it couldn't be done,

especially with a crushed pelvis!

But I have balanced a perfect archway

of slippery sharp -pound anvils!

Press record, Mother!

- Ooh, let's put on some mood music, first.

I found this CD buried

in an abandoned mine shaft.

- It's bongo time!

[bongo b*at]

- Gah! Mother! Pelvis! Gah!

Eh, am I famous yet?

[lively music]

[' s spy-style music]

♪♪

- [clears throat]

As usual, Chloe Carmichael is the only one

who followed the rules by turning in her homework on time.

The rest of you bozos, bring on the excuses.

- My dog ate my paper!

- It's true! I ate it!

It tasted like a C minus.

- Oh! A talking dog!

That's a new spin on an old classic, Turner.

Hold the stupid stick.

- Timmy, it's upside-down.

It says "diputs."

- [grunts]

- Chloe is the only one who follows the rules around here!

Check out her homework.

She wrote her name at the top,

the margins are correct,

and she followed my most important rule:

taping a crisp $ bill to the bibliography!

- I'm starting to regret eating that homework.

[stomach rumbles]

That C minus is repeating on me.

[belches]

- Anyhoo, today's the day I appoint

this year's hall monitor.

- It's gonna be me!

Timmy, this is the moment I've been working towards

my whole life!

- And to reward Chloe for her stellar behavior,

I choose...

my nephew Kevin!

- Thank you, Mr. Crocker.

In the words of Mother Teresa-- wha--wait, what?

You picked Kevin?

What kind of reward is that?

- Your reward is learning the valuable lesson

that life's not fair.

- This is so unfair!

- Lesson learned!

You're welcome!

Kevin, wake up!

Wow, he's really out.

Someone put a mirror under his nose

to make sure he's breathing.

- [sighs]

- It's okay. I got this, Chloe.

Cosmo.Wanda.

I wish Chloe was hall monitor!

- Guh-gah!

Everything went black for a second.

Oh, to be honest, it was a nice break

from the likes of you people!

Anyhoo, I hereby decree that Chloe Carmichael

is the new hall monitor!

- Yes!

[siren wails]

Thank you, Timmy!

I am so ready for this!

- Hope you're ready for this:

the , -page hall monitor rule book.

I've been using it as a barricade

to keep Mother out of my room.

- Aaah!

Rules and books are two of my favorite things!

The third one is ugly orange vests,

so I'm in heaven!

- Sport, it was very nice of you to make that wish for Chloe.

On the downside, your toe's up my nose.

- I'm a good friend.

Plus, with Chloe as hall monitor,

I can break every rule in school and never get in trouble.

Look at me: I'm skateboarding

and smoking in the hall.

- Your kielbasa's cooked!

Also, I need to see a lung doctor.

[coughs]

- This is Officer Carmichael.

Put your hands up and pull over to the side of the hall.

- Uh-oh, some poor kid's getting busted.

I'm so glad it's not this guy.

- Timmy Turner, I am talking to you!

Stop the monkey business.

- But I just started my monkey business!

I trained Chaz to tip his hat

while he picks people's pockets.

It wasn't easy.

He's a biter!

- Civilian Timmy, you are in violation of Code ,

subsection . :

skateboarding and smoking Polish sausage

while in possession of a grifter monkey.

[Chaz screams]

- Wow, that is a highly specific law.

Anyway, I've got lots of rules to break,

so if you'll excuse me...

- No can do, Timmy!

When I became hall monitor, I took a solemn oath.

- There was no oath.

- I made one up.

Anyway, because this is your first offense on my watch,

you're getting off with a warning

and a firm slap on the wrist.

- Gah! Ow!

What do you think you're doing?

- My job. Stay safe.

Hey, kid, pull over!

You need to put reflectors on those crutches

to bring them up to code!

- I've created a monster!

Chloe's gone totally cuckoo!

Of course, she didn't have that far to go.

- With Chloe on the b*at,

you better be on your best behavior,

which is like a C minus on the behavior scale.

- Well, I can't change who I am

because that would require trying.

But it doesn't matter.

Chloe talks a good game,

but she's never really gonna bust me.

She'll always choose our friendship over the rules.

- I'm telling you, this is good kielbasa!

- This is your second warning.

Step away from the sausage!

I'm gonna have to check you for priors.

[imitates static] Come in, Officer Chloe.

[imitates static] Go for Officer Chloe.

[imitates static] Check the perp's records for priors.

[imitates static] Roger that.

Central Command just sent me your prior offenses.

- There is no Central Command!

You were talking to yourself!

- Watch your tone, Civilian Timmy.

You are addressing an officer of the law.

Considering your previous offences,

if you break the rules again, I am authorized to send you

to Saturday night detention with Mr. Crocker.

- No, not that!

That means I'd have to...

- Time to sand the corns on Mother's funky foot.

Don't forgot your protective goggles.

♪♪

- No! [sobbing]

- Oh, stop crying.

You're the one who broke the rules!

Now sand like you mean it!

[sander buzzes]

[Timmy wails]

- So watch your step, Turner.

Stay safe!

I'm also a deputy fire marshal.

- Wow, this is a record for you, Sport.

You've gone a full minute without breaking any rules.

[monkey chatters]

Uh-oh, it's Chaz with your take of the loot he nabbed.

- Uh, I don't know you, Chaz.

If that's even your name!

Have a nice day!

- Slow down!

There's a speed trap up ahead!

♪♪

- Pick it up!

You're obstructing traffic!

- [inhales deeply, blows whistle]

Attention civilians:

random locker search now commencing!

[all screaming]

- [screams]

- Cosmo, why are you screaming?

- Because I don't have a locker for her to search.

I am so busted!

- Jackpot!

A slingshot, a fake hall pass, and Jason Wiener!

- Thank you for saving me.

A bully stuffed me in here a week ago.

I'm so thirsty.

- You also have five unexcused absences,

so it's off to the principal with you, Wiener!

- Now serving student number .

- Must clean out locker.

Can't sand Mrs. Crocker's corns!

Giant gum ball.

Bucket of snakes.

- So that's where my bucket of snakes went.

- Barry Rosenfeld: Hip-Hop Hedgehog!

- Oh, no, not Barry Rosenfeld!

He's the worst!

- I'm funding his tour with my monkey business!

[screams]

- ♪ I'm a hip-hop hedgehog and I'm here to say-- ♪

- Not now, Barry Rosenfeld, Hip-Hop Hedgehog!

- I got to say, Barry Rosenfeld is terrible.

I begged you not to sign him.

- Oh, no!

Chloe's got a gum-sniffing dog!

Timmy, hide your gumball!

[sniffs]

[growls, barks]

- Freeze, Timmy! You're going down!

I'm onto the gum!

And Barry Rosenfeld, Hip-Hop Hedgehog!

- Got to admit, his music is a crime.

Don't worry, Timmy.

I'll turn Wanda and me into sticks of gum

to distract the dog!

- What?

Don't even--

[sniffs]

- Aaah!

Barry? What's going on here?

- I will rap it out for you, Timmy to the Turner.

Give me a b*at, my hip-hop homies.

- Don't give him a b*at, kids!

Barry Rosenfeld is terrible!

He has nothing to rap about!

He was raised in Redondo Beach!

- Dad! What are you doing here?

- I dug this bunker when I was your age to fight the man!

And also to find King Tut's treasure.

Now I'm leading the resistance against Officer Chloe's

oppressive hall monitor regime!

♪

- ♪ Chugga chugga chugga

♪ You're gonna fight the man

- Your Dad's a rich podiatrist, Barry!

You are the man!

Join us, Timmy.

Put on your official rebel banana.

- Don't you mean bandana? - No.

- Anyone have a spare banana? I ate mine.

I need the potassium, otherwise my glutes cramp!

- Not a pretty picture, Mr. Crocker!

What are you doing here?

- Chloe busted me because I didn't sneeze into my elbow.

What's wrong with sneezing into someone else's elbow?

It's called sharing!

- Time to take down the man!

And by the man,

I mean the little girl with the cool police light hat!

Ooh, I'd like one of those, too.

I'd wear it to the movies!

- Focus, you lunatic!

Ow, my glute!

- Let's take back the halls!

Charge!

- Charge!

- Everyone except you, Barry Rosenfeld, Hip-Hop Hedgehog!

I'm seriously thinking of canceling your tour.

- A few of you kids stay behind to look for King Tut's treasure!

I know it's here!

[all yelling]

- Pull over, angry mob!

Let's see those hall passes.

- Oh sh**t, we don't have any!

What are we gonna do?

I'm scared!

- I'm a teacher, lunatic! You're all excused!

Now att*ck!

[all yelling]

Ow, my other glute!

I got to stop yelling!

Ow!

- Aah! - Whoa, whoa!

What's with the pitchforks and torches?

I thought we were just gonna take back the halls.

- Oh, Timmy, you clearly don't know how an angry mob works.

We're going to do something horrible and irrational

that we'll all regret later.

- Oh, you'll have lots of time to regret it

when you're all in detention!

- You know less about angry mobs than I do!

Run!

- Timmy!

You're in violation of rule number , Roman numeral . :

mounting a vehicle licensed for a single operator!

- [sighs]

And you're in violation of being a sane person.

[all yelling]

I get that rules are important, Chloe,

but people are more important,

especially the people that are me!

We're supposed to be friends!

And friends don't make friends sand Mrs. Crocker's corns!

[all yelling]

We got to get out of here!

- We can't leave, Timmy!

According to Code , subsection Roman numeral . ,

it's a violation to exit school premises before : p.m.!

And it's : !

- Turner turned on us!

He's a turncoat!

Now it's our turn to turn on him!

- Turntable!

Turnip! Tina Turner!

I was just trying to add more turn words.

What, isn't that what we're doing?

- We're not gonna make it until : , Chloe!

And more importantly,

I'm not gonna make it until : !

[all yelling]

So I guess this is good-bye!

- Oh you're right, Timmy.

Friends are more important than rules!

I'm breaking Code !

It's so hard, but here I go!

[bell rings]

- Well, that's the bell. School's out!

So long, suckers!

[all yelling, laughing]

- Ow, my glute!

- I'm sorry I went cuckoo, Timmy.

I guess I took my role as hall monitor

a little too seriously.

- Well, of course you did.

But it's okay.

Hey, where's Cosmo and Wanda?

- Oh, we're in kind of a sticky situation.

- Yeah, we blew it.

- ♪ I'm Barry Rosenfeld and I'm here to say ♪

all: You're terrible, Barry!

- Go back to Redondo Beach!

Ee! I got the hat!

I'm going to the movies!

[siren wails]

[jazzy music]

♪♪

- ♪Billionfold! ♪

- Inc.

- Frederator!