01x18 - No Escape

[bunniefuu]

HARTLEY: Previously on The

Villains of Valley View

- I'm Hartley.

- Declan. Nice to meet you.

Something about him just feels wrong.

I've identified Havoc and her family.

Next step, to get inside their home.

Every generation has one villain

with multiple types of power.

Colby, I think you're the Chosen One.

I'll put it in the secret

lair in the basement.

We don't have a basement.

We do now.

- Have you seen Declan?

- I thought he was with you.

[PANTING]

This is Oculon for Onyx.

We got 'em.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

Declan? Oh, there you are.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Oh, I was out back.

I wanted to surprise you

with something as pretty as you.

Aw! [GIGGLES]

Is it because you know tomorrow

is the one-month anniversary

of the day we met?

Well, it's not because

I didn't know that.

[GASPS] Yay! Hartley

finally found Declan!

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Hiding from your significant other?

I'm with you.

CELIA: Hartley! Did your annoying friend

just cut my prized begonias?

"Annoying"? I thought she liked me.

Yeah, it doesn't take much for

her to turn the boat around.

CELIA: Don't make me come over there!

Yes, please don't make

her come over here.

I'll distract my grandma, you

run out the front. [CHUCKLES]

Oh! But if she sprints the block

and cuts you off, you're on your own.

Oh! Amy, real quick.

Tomorrow's my one-month anniversary

with Hartley, and I

want to surprise her.

Oh. By moving out of state? Great idea.

She'll never see it coming.

Look, I know you and I didn't exactly

get off on the right foot.

Mostly because you're shady.

- I'm not shady.

- You're a little shady.

Well, I was hoping

we could work together

to pull off something special.

I see where you're going with this,

and I'm happy to drive the moving van.

Where we headed? Nevada is nice, sunny.

But again, you're shady, so

that'll balance out nicely.

Hartley told me she loves escape rooms.

And a new one just

opened in Valley View.

And since she considers you family,

I was hoping everyone could go.

That way, when she shows

up, we can all surprise her.

Oh, I love escaping things.

Just yesterday, I made a

hasty exit from the market.

Apparently, it's illegal to steal food.

Escape room, huh?

I can escape from anywhere in seconds

because, you know, genius.

But I'm happy to tag along

and point out your failures.

Great.

Oh, but whatever you

do, don't tell Hartley.

I want it to be a surprise.

See you tomorrow.

This is Oculon for Onyx.

I've come up with the perfect plan

to trap Havoc and her family.

And the best part is,

they don't have a clue.

By this time tomorrow,

they'll be ours.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

Here we are.

Who's ready for 60 minutes

of puzzle-solving teamwork?

Sixty minutes? Eh, I

guess it makes sense.

One minute for me to

escape and 59 more to gloat.

So, Dec, what do we get if we win?

Uh, nothing.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but you are just one big disappointment.

I always thought escape

rooms were more elaborate.

The place is tiny.

Oh, I wouldn't say it's that small.

Well, I would. I mean,

what are we escaping from?

The bathroom in the

International Space Station?

[LAUGHTER]

But you did buy us tickets,

so we should be more gracious.

Thank you, Mrs. Madden.

Just hope you didn't pay too much

because this place is a joke.

I already see, like, seven

different ways out of here.

I highly doubt that. Name one.

Oh, I don't want to

ruin the fun for everyone

who's not as smart as me.

Oh, there's eight, nine, and ten.

Wait, where's your younger brother?

He stayed home to watch the

season finale of Idiot Circus.

It's his favorite TV show.

You know, the one where

people do all those

dangerously dumb stunts.

Last week, a guy sh*t

himself out of a cannon

and landed on some lady's pickup truck.

It would have been impressive

if he didn't bounce off the truck

in an oncoming traffic.

You said the whole

family was gonna be here.

And you said this place would be fun.

Again, full of disappointments.

I just want everything

to be perfect for Hartley.

Speaking of Hartley,

shouldn't she be here by now?

Uh, yeah. I'll go call her.

Well, tell her we're

in the teeny-tiny room

at the end of the hallway.

[BEEPING]

Onyx, I've trapped Havoc and her family.

Well, most of her family.

The youngest brother didn't show.

ONYX: No matter. He's useless.

He doesn't even have a power yet.

[ONYX CACKLING]

I'll send the transport to pick them up.

As long as we have

the rest of the family,

he's meaningless.

[SINISTER MUSIC]

Celia! You're going to

ruin my night, aren't you?

I was hoping to ruin your

whole day, but I got hung up.

My favorite crime show is on,

and there's a problem with my TV.

- What's wrong with it?

- It's smaller than yours.

Tonight, Detective Anderson

is sent mistakenly to prison

and tossed around like a rag doll.

Same move I did to my ex-husband.

Sorry, but I'm already

watching my favorite show.

I don't know who told

you you're old enough

to have an opinion, but they lied.

Okay, I've waited weeks to watch this.

Well, what's it about?

A bunch of dudes doing sick stunts.

A group of snot-nose punks

setting themselves up to get hurt?

Sounds like my new favorite show, too.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Hey, Colb Uh, Grandma? [CHUCKLES]

What are you doing here?

Watching TV with Little Jimmy.

It's Colby.

Didn't know it when I walked in.

Not gonna know it when I walk out.

Uh, where's everyone else?

With Declan. They left hours ago.

I thought you'd be there by now.

Be where?

Declan is taking you to an escape room

for your one-month anniversary.

"Escape room"?

Yeah, he said you love them,

so everyone wants to surprise you there.

Surprise!

I don't get all the

fuss about escape rooms.

When I trap someone in a

room, they're not getting out.

I never told Declan

I liked escape rooms.

And my calls are going

straight to his voicemail.

Amy's, too.

Well, that is quite the mystery.

Maybe you can solve it

out on the front porch

while I enjoy what's left of my show.

Our show.

You heard Little Jimmy. Get hoofin'!

- [THUD ON TV]

- That'll cr*ck a rib.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

Declan's been gone forever.

I wonder if this is one

of the escape room puzzles.

Wait, if you rearrange the

letters in Declan's name,

it spells "candle." Quick, light one.

What is going on? I mean

I can't even get enough

signal in here to call Hartley.

I'm sure it's all part of Declan's plan

to heighten the suspense

and scare all of us.

You know, he struck me as the

moody and overdramatic type.

That's rich, coming from you.

I'll go find him.

That's weird. The door isn't opening.

[GRUNTS] It's locked.

Maybe it's part of the

escape room experience.

I don't think so. There

aren't any clues in here.

I can't even play today's Wordle puzzle.

Oh, I already did.

The word is "scam."

You monster.

I don't like this.

Something's not right.

[CLEARS THROAT]

It won't budge.

I thought you said you knew

ten different ways to get us out.

Well, I had to say that.

Half of being a genius

is being a showman.

Jake, just use your super strength.

[GRUNTING]

It's not working.

- How is that possible?

- Okay, back up.

Let me see if I can zap a hole in it.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[LAUGHS] Look at that.

Suddenly, I'm not the

only failure in the room.

[GASPS]

Ha ha. But you are the

only failure on the floor.

Whatever was used to build this room

is obviously impenetrable to our power.

[GASPS] Oh, finally, our first clue.

Your feeble attempts to break

out won't do you any good.

You fools fell right into my trap.

Oh, he's good. [CHUCKLES]

So realistic.

I'm guessing the key word is "fools."

I knew it.

You've been lying this whole time.

Who are you?

My name

is Oculon.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

I was sent by Onyx to capture you

and bring you to Centropolis,

where you will spend

the rest of your lives

imprisoned for challenging

our all-powerful leader.

Your days of freedom are over, Maddens.

Or should I say Havoc,

Chaos, Surge, and Craniac.

Okay.

It's starting to get a little too real.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

Wait, so you're telling me

He really is a villain

and Onyx sent him here to capture us.

- And that he

- Really did trap us in here

so he can send us to Centropolis

and live a torturous

life in Onyx's prison.

Well, this is quite the

Thursday night, isn't it?

It's Wednesday, but I see your point.

I knew you were shady. I

should have trusted my gut.

Yeah, we both had you pegged.

What? Who are you kidding?

You're all, "What's up, Dec?

How's it going, Dec?"

Havoc, you could have

prevented this whole thing.

I mean, you had the

evidence right in your hands.

I knew you were talking to

someone on that weird watch.

It was Onyx, wasn't it?

You almost had me.

But then you got weak and caved

because your best friend told you to.

Oh, you mean Hartley?

The completely innocent person

you used and betrayed?

You're going to pay for this.

No one messes with my

family or my best friend.

Just enjoy your last moments together.

Transport will be here soon

to take you to Centropolis,

where you will face Onyx's wrath.

Yeah? Well, I only have

one thing to say to that.

Will there be a meal

served on this transport?

Because I am famished.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

So now Amy, Declan, and Jake

aren't answering their phones.

Something's definitely up.

You know, now that my show is over,

I'm starting to get worried.

Woo-hoo! Bonus episode!

Nah, they'll be fine.

Colby, did they say

where the escape room was?

My mom wrote it down on that

piece of paper over there.

Oh.

This is a list of people

she wants revenge on.

She has a revenge list?

Finally, something we have in common.

Flip it over.

Oh, okay.

Wait. Why am I on her revenge list?

We never know why we're on the list.

We just sleep with one

eye open when we are.

I'm going to see what's going on.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[EXAGGERATED THROAT CLEARING]

Yikes, Celia. Sounds

like you need some water.

And it sounds like you're not walking

fast enough to get me some.

- Fine.

- My stomach's growling, too.

Well, I'm sure that tall glass of

tap water will fill you right up.

Tap water? Do I look basic to you?

Throw some bubbles in that baby.

I'll take a snack, too.

A snack?

That's what people do

when they invite folks

over, offer them snacks.

Okay, but I didn't invite you over.

You just walked in, like you always do.

Yeah? Well, I'm here. And I'm hungry.

So get moving.

I'm not picky. Throw

some shrimp on a plate.

We don't have shrimp.

Then you better go shopping.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[BANGING]

[GRUNTING]

Jake, clearly, your arms aren't working.

Maybe you should bang your head instead.

Well, at least I'm trying.

Why don't you use your powers?

Well, what's the point?

If your powers aren't working,

I'm sure mine won't either.

It wouldn't hurt to try.

[EXHALES]

- [CLANG]

- [GRUNTS]

See? I knew that would happen!

[CHUCKLES] So did I.

Then why did you tell me to do it?

Because it was funny

- Oh, really? Is it funny?

- Guys!

Come on! We have to stick together.

I knew I should have

stayed home with Colby.

[GASPS] Colby!

He's home all alone.

If Oculon knows who

we are, he's not safe.

We've got to find a way out of here.

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES] I think we've

established that's not it!

HARTLEY: Amy? Declan?

Hello?

Is anybody in there?

- It's Hartley.

- We're in here!

Save me first!

I regret nothing.

Amy, what's going on?

Hartley, we're in grave danger.

Look, this isn't an escape room.

It's some sort of holding cell

that our powers can't penetrate.

And Declan is not who he said he was.

What do you mean?

He's a supervillain.

[SCOFFS] Declan?

My Declan?

Do you know another Declan?

Are you absolutely sure he's a villain?

He's just so sweet and

thoughtful and cute

ALL: We're sure!

He's been working for

Onyx this whole time.

He played you to get to us.

And now, he's sending us to Centropolis.

[GASPS] I can't believe it.

Amy knew something was up with him,

and I didn't listen.

Which means the reason

you're trapped in there

is because of me.

Hartley, it's not about

blame right now, but yes.

If there's one thing we've

learned from all of this,

it's that I'm always

right and you are a sucker.

You know, you might want

to hold off on the insults

until I get you out of there.

Just please find a way

to get us out of here

before he comes back.

Oh! I think I found the

panel that controls the door.

- [BEEPING]

- DECLAN: Good job.

Declan.

Surprise.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

I trusted you. Even when my

best friend told me not to.

And all this time,

you've been lying to me?

You're the means to an end.

My mission was to bring

the fugitives back to Centropolis,

so I did what I had to do.

- Nothing personal.

- [SCOFFS] Yeah?

Well, you're messing

with the wrong girl.

- Yeah, you tell him, Hartley.

- I knew she had it in her.

- She's gonna save us! - I made you

a happy one-month anniversary card.

But because of all this,

I'm not giving it to you.

- Oh, boy.

- She didn't have it in her.

We're doomed.

You're a fool, Hartley.

You believed I was falling for you.

And even worse, you really believe

Havoc is your best friend?

She's a villain.

And villains don't care

about anyone but themselves.

That's where you're wrong.

When Havoc became Amy, she changed.

They've all changed.

They're not like you anymore.

I'll take that as a compliment,

since they're weak and naive.

Just like you.

[ALARM RINGING]

[BEEPING]

Transport will be

here any minute to take

these traitors back to Centropolis.

You've seen your friend

Amy for the last time.

[HARTLEY CHUCKLES]

Yeah, I don't think so.

I may have a big heart, but

I'm not as naive as you think.

I don't know what this thing does,

but I'm pretty sure it's gonna hurt.

She brought one of my

devices. Hartley, which one?

Uh, silver, big blue lights?

My fusion blaster!

If she saves us with

one of my inventions,

I found the escape,

which means boom, I win!

Hartley.

Why don't you hand that over

before you hurt yourself, okay?

Back off!

Oh, come on.

There's no way you'd use that on me.

You like me way too much.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

Keep telling me how I feel, punk.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

How can you not have

any TV-watching snacks?

You know, you could just go back over

to your house and grab a snack.

But I want shrimp.

We don't have shrimp.

No one just has shrimp.

Cruise ships have shrimp.

Does this look like a cruise ship?

Not a well-maintained one.

Come on, Celia, Idiot Circus

is almost back from commercial.

Can you please just pick something

so we can go back to the living room?

Fine. I'll have a banana.

Great. Uh, I mean, no.

Why not?

Because it's rotten.

Looks fine to me.

Well, yeah, but sometimes,

things can look fine on the outside,

but actually be hiding

a dark secret inside.

Are we still talking about the banana?

Yes.

What if it's bruised when you peel it?

I don't mind bruises,

especially if I'm the

one doing the bruising.

Give me the banana!

Can't do it, Celia. I'm sorry.

I'll have you know,

this isn't the first time

I've thrown down with a child

over a piece of fruit.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

- [GRUNTS]

- Declan's down.

I bought us some time.

I got to figure out how

to get you out of there.

Hartley, hold him where he

is and call Colby for backup.

Wait, no, don't. We have to

keep Colby far away from here.

Onyx can't know about

his multiple powers.

If he finds out Colby's the

Chosen One, it's all over.

Uh, I think I accidentally

turned on the microphone

because we just heard all of that.

Wait.

So not only does Colby have his power,

he's the Chosen One?

This changes everything.

Later.

[GASPS] He just disappeared!

- He must have teleported.

- [GASPS]

Oh, no.

Colby.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

You're going down, banana boy.

[GRUNTING]

Where'd you learn moves like that?

I was all-state running

back three years in a row.

They called me the "Wild Stallion."

Because you couldn't

be tamed on the field?

Or off it.

Wait a minute, this banana's fake.

[WHIRRING]

What's that noise?

Noise? I didn't hear

a noise. What noise?

Fair warning.

The last person to put an arm around me

is still looking for that arm.

Well, we're in this together now,

so I say we unpack the mystery

of the fake banana once

we get to the living room.

- There is no mystery.

- [GRUNTS]

You knew that banana was fake.

And I do not like to be deceived.

I'm going home to find a real snack.

Watch your back, Jimmy.

The Wild Stallion is coming for you

when you least expect it.

[EXHALES]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Declan?

You're coming with me.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

I've got to get you out of there.

What do I do?

Count to three.

Aim the fusion blaster

at the door and sh**t.

Okay. Here goes.

[GRUNTS]

I said count to three.

Sorry.

Let's get out of here.

We have to get to Colby

before Oculon does.

You're too late.

Onyx.

You played this game well,

but you should have

known that I always win.

And who knew the prize would turn out

even better than I thought?

All this time, I've

been trying to capture

the five of you when I only needed one.

- The Chosen One.

- [GRUNTING]

Jimmy, I'm back!

I brought shrimp!

Jimmy?

Hurry up. I need your little

fingers to pull out the entrails.

[SIGHS] I also brought

the scouting footage

from my football days. [CHUCKLES]

You'll think I'm wearing

shoulder pads, but I'm not.

[SIGHS]

Jimmy!

Oh, the heck with you.

I'll watch it myself.

Now, where's your projector?

Shrimp!

Mm! I'll put my foot in that shrimp.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]