01x03 - Balloon

[bunniefuu]

Ballon

- Hey, Beavis.
- What?

What is the president of the
United States think about
when he goes to the bathroom?

Is he, like, think about world problems?
Like the infra sculpture?

Is he, like, have a phone and
call up other presidents?

What's so funny?

What's so funny, dude?

The president of the
United States pitching a loaf

Yeah, that was cool.

Hey, Beavis, he's got your hair.

Hey, "The Red Hot Chilli Peppers"

Tattoos are cool.

Yeah. I'm gonna get one.

You could have "I am a puss"
tatoo on your butt.

Shut up, Butt-Head!

Anthony Kiedis is cool.

- These guys get all the chicks.
- Yeah.

Flea is cool.

Hey, I can do that.

That's cool.

I saw pictures of these guys and
they had socks on his penises.

That would be cool.

Hey, "The Red Hot Chilli Peppers".

This guy looks like a mass m*rder*r.

Yeah.
He looks kinda like you.

This guy is suppose to be better than
"The Beatles" and "Elvis".

Yeah.
He is not as cool as "Metallica", though.

Why is he keep looking up?

- This dude sounds like he was is neutered.
- Yeah.

This is satanic country music.

Yeah,
I feel like k*lling myself.

Even something as fun and innocent
as helium balloons

can cause a deadly thr*at to our
deep sea friends.

Think she is a diver?

Ask your mom.

Chode smoker.

Wind blow these balloons out to sea,

where cute little baby dolphins can
swallow them and choke to death.

Cool!

It's so tragic,
to see this innocent creatures,

m*rder*d by a party favour.

Happy birthday, Slipper.

Here you are, boys. What's the occasion?

- Uhh... It's, uhh... It's like a gag.
- Yeah.

Hey, Butt-Head, let's breathe some gas.

Go for it, dude.

I don't feel nothing.

- What's wrong with your voice, dude?
- What's wrong with yours?

- Oh, no!
- We are neutered!

- This is gonna be cool
- Yeah.

And now, here's a routine made
famous by the "Harlem Globetrotters".

Give me the slingshot.

- Butt-Head! Butt-Head!
- Wow, cool.

Help! Butt-Head, help!
I'm stuck! This sucks!

- This sucks!
- Can I have your skateboard?

sh**t me down, asswipe!
This sucks!

Sorry, dude.

A new dolphin.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's hammerhead time!

That's right! Synchronised ???scaba???thing
by lovely and diligent hammerhead sharks.

Help Butt-Head! I can't swim!
This sucks!

Wow, cool.

Attention! Attention!
Someone has polluted the water!

This gonna danger the life of the young
sharks. Evacuate the shark heads immediately.

Yes!

- This chick is hot.
- Oh, yeah?

Wpuld you make out with her?
-Yeah, I'll be all over it.

Really?

- Thats a guy, Beavis.
- No way.

He wanna make out with a dude.

He's got a nice butt, huh, Beavis?

Shut up, Butt-Head!

- Ooh, he is sexy, huh, Beavis?
- Shut up, Butt-Head!

Boing, boing, boing, boing,
bo-bo-boing, boing, boing, boing.

That was cool.

Those fish are swimming in the air.

Wow! Those fish are peeing on him.

- That's cool.
- Yeah.

I wish I had lips on my hand.

- That would be cool.
- Yeah.

- Fish baseball.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Beavis?
- Yeah?

Can I ask your a personal question?

Go for it, dude.

Did you pee in the pool 'cause you
were smart or 'cause you were scared?

No, dude, 'cause it feels good.

Yeah. That's why I always pee in the pool.

Yeah.

All right!

Angus Young is cool

Yeah, Malcolm is cool too.

- That drummer is old.
- Shut up, fartknocker, he's cool.

- Did Phil Rudd d*ed?
- No, peckerwood, that was a Bon Scott.

Oh, yeah.
He was cool.

- That guy is special.
- Yeah.

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.

- Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.
- Sing it, Beavis.

Dirty deeds are cool.

Hey, Beavis,
have you ever done a dirty deed?

Yeah,
I spanked my monkey one time.

These guys always
wear the same clothes.

That's cool.

Hey, we are always wear
the same clothes.

- I had this shirt on for 6 months.
- I had this on for 7 months.

- Hey, look, she's running away
from home and she's only thirty.
- Yeah, yeah.

Girls, girls, girls, girls.

Yeah.

He touched her butt.

She's a hooker.

- His daughter is a hooker.
- Yeah.

- She's singing to the homeless.
- Yeah.

- Hey Beavis, what are the homeless?
- I don't know.

She's shacking her boobs.

- Hey, Beavis, this video tells the story.
- Yeah, I'm pitching a tent.

This story sucks.

Change it.

Check it out.

Is that fat guy from that show?

Which one is Tito?

That was cool.

If he keep touching himself
he is gonna break his other hand.

Which one is Tito?

Indians are cool.

- Yeah.
- Which one is Tito?

No, dude, it's Tonto.

Wow, she's hot.

- Wow, those are big babies.
- Yeah.

- I like fire.
- Yeah, fire kicks-ass.

I like when they burn stuff.

Check it out, it's that
kid from that movie.

- MacCloklin Loclokin.
- Micoly MacCloclin.

- Call me Macloclin.
- Maclolin boy.

- Is his butt the same color as his face?
- Yeah.

That's not real.