- ♪ MTV ♪
[both chuckling]
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
- Ow! Ow!
I'ma kick--ow. Ah!
- Okay, this is our eighth
session
to try to improve
your behavior,
and if anything, Butt-Head's
aggression is getting worse.
- Ow!
- Uh, it's the same.
- Ow.
- I'm going to say
therapy isn't working.
It's time to try medication.
- Ah!
- Yeah, give him some pills.
[chuckles]
- No.
I mean, medication for you.
Butt-Head, I want you
to take one in the morning
and one in the afternoon.
They should help your behavior.
- Let's flush 'em
down the toilet.
[both chuckle]
Uh, wait a minute.
[sniffs]
These smell like grape.
- I wanna try one.
C'mon.
- No way, Beavis.
I'm the one who's aggressive.
- Ow!
Hey.
- See?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Go get some wuss pills
or something.
Mmm.
[smacks lips]
Not bad.
- [chuckles]
- It better come with refills.
- Maybe if they get some
refills, you can give me--
Ah!
- Good morning, Wilbur!
[pig snorting]
- That thing sounds like you,
Beavis.
[mimics grunting]
[pig grunting]
- [chuckling]
No, it doesn't.
[grunting]
What is that thing, anyway?
Is that, like, a dog?
- No, he's the star of that movie
where there's like a really annoying spider that has a web
and it keeps making words to save a dog.
[chuckles]
It's stupid.
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]
- Good morning, buddy!
- Remember when we had that substitute
and he was all, like, drunk,
and then he put that movie on
and just fell asleep at his desk all day?
[both chuckling]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was like,
"Oh, this is educational."
[grunting]
- It was a tear-jerker.
[chuckles]
[both chuckling]
- "Jerker."
[both chuckling]
- You got to back up
so I can open the door.
- Is this, like, a prison for animals or something?
[chuckles] - Yeah.
Your sentence is having to listen to this lady
for the rest of your life. - [chuckles]
- Good morning, Grayson!
[laughs]
- "Good morning, Grayson!"
[mocking laughter]
[chuckles]
- They should eat her.
[both chuckling]
- Yeah, really.
Yeah, see how she likes it.
[chuckling]
- Good morning, Buster.
- Do you know what they call meat from a cow?
[chuckles]
Beef.
[chuckles]
[both chuckling]
So, like, um, do those pills,
like, make you feel
different or something?
- Eh, no.
But thank you for asking.
[chuckles]
- Oh, um, okay, yeah.
God bless you, or,
I don't know.
[chuckles]
This show sucks.
[chuckles]
- I guess it does.
But other people
probably enjoy it.
[chuckles]
Nothing wrong with that.
[chuckles]
- Oh, I--okay.
I guess that's true.
[chuckles]
But it does kind of suck,
Butt-Head. [chuckles]
- We can watch what you want,
Beavis.
Anything you wanna do is fine.
[chuckles]
[screaming on TV]
- This is pretty cool.
This is better. [chuckles]
- Well, I'm glad
you're enjoying it, Beavis.
I like when you enjoy yourself.
[eerie music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, man.
What's going on, Butt-Head?
You're kind of acting weird.
- Whoa.
- Ah!
- Settle down, Beavis.
[chuckles]
- Um, I thought you were gonna
hit me for a second there,
you know?
[chuckles]
- Oh, I wouldn't hit you,
Beavis,
because you're my friend.
[chuckles]
- Um, Butt-Head, I think you
should stop taking those pills.
[chuckles]
- [sighs]
[chuckles]
- So the sixth planet
is Saturn, mm-kay?
Known for its prominent rings.
- Um, Butt-Head, why are
you wearing that shirt?
- Uh, it's a sunny day.
Why not wear a sunny outfit?
[chuckles]
- Can everyone please focus?
Mm-kay?
Class is almost over,
and I'm just trying
to squeeze in Uranus.
- [chuckles]
Uh, Butt-Head?
[chuckles]
- Hmm?
- [chuckles]
Van Driessen, he kind of said,
"I just wanna squeeze in"--
- Beavis, Mr. Van Driessen
is trying hard
to squeeze in Uranus, okay?
- Yeah, exactly.
Like, um--[chuckles]
- Let's try
to give him our attention.
- Yeah, but, um--
- [sighs]
I'm glad I brought a nice,
sharp pencil for Uranus.
- Come on, Butt-Head.
What's going on?
- Nothing, Beavis.
This is the perfect pencil
for Uranus.
[chuckles]
[school bell rings]
Oh, darn.
[chuckles]
- Whoa!
Where'd that come from?
Um, Van Driessen?
I think there's something wrong
with Butt-Head.
- Oh, I don't think so at all.
In fact, Butt-Head, I'm very
proud of your behavior today.
- No, you don't understand.
There's something wrong--
- Oh, thank you,
Mr. Van Driessen.
I enjoyed your class today.
- You mean the part
about Uranus, right, Butt-Head?
[chuckles]
- I actually liked Saturn,
Beavis,
with its prominent rings.
That was my favorite.
- What?
- Would you like to join Beavis
and I for lunch,
Mr. Van Driessen?
- Butt-Head, no, no.
- Fascinating.
Mt. Van Driessen,
I would love to hear
more stories
about the teachers' union.
- Oh, no.
- Well, at the next meeting,
there was quite a spirited
debate about the health plan.
- Ooh.
[chuckles]
The health plan?
- Damn it, Butt-Head.
- Are you okay, Beavis?
I brought an extra banana
if you'd like one.
- A what?
- A banana, Beavis.
[chuckles]
They're delicious--
better than nachos.
♪ ♪
Mmm.
A banana.
[humming]
[scratching sound]
- Damn it, Butt-Head.
This sucks.
You have to stop
taking those pills.
- But Beavis, I was told to
take these pills by an adult.
Is there something else
that's bothering you?
- Yeah, there is!
- [chuckles]
- It's bothering me that
you're acting like a butthole!
- I hear you, Beavis.
I'll try to do better.
- Damn it.
Stop agreeing
with everything I say!
- Okay, Beavis.
- See, you did it again!
Stop it!
- What would you like me to do,
Beavis?
- Damn it, Butt-Head!
You're a butthole
and your mom's a slut
and you suck!
[chuckles]
- Beavis, thank you
for being honest with me.
I think we can work this out
if we just dialogue
like Ms. Ortiz modeled for us,
and we--
- [screams]
- Oh, Beavis, my pills.
- Ah!
Enough!
[screaming]
- Beavis, this is a step
backwards for you.
I'm concerned--
- Stop acting like a wuss!
Call me a butthole!
Say, "Beavis is a butthole!"
- [coughing]
Don't say that about my friend.
[gagging]
- Oh, damn it.
Damn it.
Ah!
[grunting]
- [pukes]
[both panting]
[eerie music]
♪ ♪
What the hell is wrong
with you, butthole?
- Ah!
Hittin' me.
Oh, yeah.
- Beavis, you're about
to get your ass kicked.
- No, no, no--
[chuckles]
Ah!
- Damn it.
- Ah!
- Butthole.
- Ah!
Cut it out.
- [grunts]
- Ah!
[rock music]
Ow. Ah!
- [grunting]
- Ah!
[both chuckling]
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
[eerie music]
♪ ♪
- Behold, I am Smart Butt-Head.
- And I am Smart Beavis.
Greetings, oh,
primitive humans.
- We hail from an alternate
universe where we,
Beavis and Butt-Head,
are super intelligent.
- There are
billions and billions
of alternate universes,
oh, foolish ones.
- But the one most fascinating
to our vast intellects
is the one where Beavis and
Butt-Head were teenagers
in the s,
but then grew older.
- And they're now middle-aged
at the height of their powers.
- Join us, dull-witted
earthlings, as we look upon
that universe and sample its
delights spread out before us,
like a banquet of space nachos.
- Priceless wit
of a satirical bent.
- Whimsical, yes, yes,
quite absurd.
- Whimsical, yes, indeed, yes.
♪ ♪
[both chuckling]
- [coughs]
- [coughs]
Butt-Head,
we're out of beers, Butt-Head.
- Eh, well, go get some more,
dumbass.
- I'm out of money.
- So go give some more blood.
- I went twice
already this morning.
They won't take my blood
anymore, because they said
it's too watery,
then I passed out,
and some guy stole my cookie.
I guess we need to,
like, get jobs or something.
- Being unemployed is our job,
dumbass.
[chuckles]
They send us money.
- Ran out of that too.
Should I go down
to that unemployment store
and get some more or something?
- Yeah, and hurry up,
you worthless dumbass.
- [grunts]
Oh, boy.
- Job.
[chuckles]
- ♪ Ooh, too lit ♪
♪ Forgot who I was talking to,
shit ♪
[both chuckling]
♪ Love ain't
how they advertise it ♪
- Oh, hey,
that looks like that time
you had that heart att*ck,
and then they, like, brought
you back with that infibulator.
[both chuckling]
- Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
That thing hurt.
[chuckles]
- They said you were d*ad
for a while too.
- Uh, that's right, I was. [chuckles]
When I closed my eyes,
I thought I saw God,
and he said,
"I love you, Butt-Head.
Keep doing what you're doing,
and don't ever come back."
[chuckles]
And then I woke up. [chuckles]
- And then d'you, like, change your life or something?
- No. [chuckles]
I was completely unchanged.
[chuckles]
And then they sent me a bill
for $ , ,
and I never paid it.
[both chuckling]
I get a notice every couple months, and I just ignore it.
[chuckles]
- In a just world,
they would've k*lled you.
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
It's not fair.
[chuckles]
- That liquor store, like, makes me wanna drink a beer.
[chuckles]
- Uh, you are drinking a beer.
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah,
but I mean, like,
another one after this.
[chuckles]
- Uh, is there anything that
doesn't make you wanna drink a beer?
[chuckles]
- Well, let me think.
No.
Oh, um--no, no.
I guess not.
[chuckles]
[sighs and chuckles]
I think I'm, like, an alcoholic,
but with beer, you know?
[both chuckling]
Oh, look at that pawn shop.
I think this is our neighborhood.
[chuckles]
- Eh, oh, yeah. It is.
[chuckles]
Remember that time you pawned
everything you owned,
and you only got $ ?
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was a great day,
yeah.
I spent it all
on some St. Ides.
[chuckles]
That crooked eye, yeah. [chuckles]
I would like more unemployment,
please.
- Well, our records show
you maxed out your benefits.
- Cool.
[chuckles]
- But let's see
if we can find you a job.
- What? What?
No, no.
No, I came down here for money.
Yeah, yeah.
- Let's see
what you're qualified for.
Last job?
- I was fired
from Burger World.
- And when was that?
- It was, like, two weeks ago.
- It says here years ago.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Also, I donate blood and sperm.
- And you donate
the sperm where?
- Um, just kind of everywhere,
you know?
- Okay, you're gonna need
something completely unskilled.
- Yeah, that sounds cool.
- I have an opening
for a home aide.
It's a government program
where you help people
who can't take care
of themselves
just with ordinary,
household tasks.
You know how to do that, right?
- Um, I've been in a house,
yeah.
- Here's the client's address.
They pay's not much,
but I think you'll find
helping someone even less
fortunate than yourself
will help give you self-esteem.
- Self-steam?
- It'll make you
feel good about yourself.
- Wow. Self-steam.
Hmm.
[chuckling]
Dicks.
- [humming]
Okay, time to get
your self-steam.
[chuckles]
Time to meet the dillhole
who can't take care of himself.
I wonder what he looks like.
[chuckles]
Here we go.
[chuckles]
- Uh, what are you knocking
for, dumbass?
I thought you were the butthole
the government sent.
- What butthole?
[chuckles]
- The social worker called
and asked if I needed help
'cause
the neighbors complained.
- Whoa, really?
[chuckles]
- I pretended
I was a fat dumbass
who never gets off his couch.
[chuckles]
And he believed me.
[chuckles]
- Well, maybe,
maybe I'm the butthole
that the government sent.
- Well then, quit standing
around and get to work.
[chuckles]
- So they said first,
I'm supposed to, like,
tidy up or something.
- [groans and coughs]
Well, get to it, Beavis.
My tax dollars pay your salary.
[chuckles]
- I'm gonna throw this away.
- Don't throw those out.
- Why not?
- I need those for my business.
- What business?
- One of these days,
I'll tell you, Beavis.
I've got big plans.
No, not the bottle.
You can pick up that chip.
[slurps]
[sighs]
This is the good life.
[chuckles]
Now fix me lunch.
- Is that part of my job?
- I was told it was.
- [sighs]
Okay, Butt-Head.
- Mr. Butt-Head.
- I'm not gonna call you
Mr. Butt-Head,
Butt-Head.
- I don't want to
have to report you, Beavis.
You want me to get you fired?
- Well, um, no, Mr. Butt-Head.
- If I get you fired,
then we don't have any money.
I'm doing this for us.
- Damn it.
Self-steam sucks.
- Hey, what's up, guys?
It is Stargirl,
the Practical Witch,
and welcome
to my YouTube channel today.
We are back again with another
virtual, online,
interactive tarot reading.
Now, what I normally
have you guys do
during this psychic reading
is I have you guys
look at the options
with your--
- Uh, hmm.
- [grunts] Oh, boy.
- She's like,
"I can see into the future,
and I'm still talking."
[chuckles]
- Yeah, I can see way into the future,
and I'm still
going on and on and on.
[chuckles]
- All-vegan makeup, which
I make a very big deal--
- If you, like, knew you'd
eventually score with her,
how long do you think you'd be able to listen to her talk?
[chuckles]
- Probably, like, about five
years, maybe six or seven.
- I'm not saying that
you're poor, guys, okay?
I'm not picking that up
at all.
But I'm hearing you, like,
spend a lot of time
in an RV camper--
- Uh, I have more psychic abilities than she does.
Check this out, Beavis.
Uh, okay,
I'm sensing great pain.
- No, no, you're just gonna say
you see a smack in my future,
and then you're gonna smack me.
You've been doing this
for years.
Come on.
- Uh, I knew you were
gonna say that, Beavis,
for I am the great
Butt-Headini.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do not
underestimate my powers.
Now check this out.
I'm sensing a--uh--
do you have an uncle?
- No.
[chuckles]
- Or, I mean, an aunt, maybe?
- No, no. [chuckles]
- Uh, a cousin?
- No, I don't think so.
I mean, my Uncle Bob had a kid,
but I don't think that's--
- Damn it, Beavis.
You said
you don't have an uncle.
- I don't--I mean,
except for Uncle Bob.
- Damn it, Beavis.
Okay, very well.
I'm sensing a couch.
Is there a couch in your life?
[chuckles]
- No, no, I don't think
I know of a couch.
[chuckles]
- Damn it, Beavis.
You're sitting on a couch.
- No, no.
[screams]
[chuckles]
Wait a minute, Butt-Head.
Wait, did you say
you were gonna smack me?
[chuckles]
- Yes, Beavis. I knew I was going to do that.
It is as I have foreseen, for I am the great Butt-Headini.
- Oh, I guess you are pretty good then.
[chuckles]
- It's time to celebrate
your first paycheck
by buying me beer with it.
- Right away, Mr. Butt-Head.
- [chuckles]
Uh, what are you doing,
Beavis?
- I just want some
Count Chocula.
- We need beer,
not, like, health food.
- No way!
It's my money.
I earned it.
I gave you a bath.
- You wouldn't even have
the money if I wasn't
all pathetic or whatever.
- Ah!
Damn it--
I'm gonna k*ll you,
Mr. Butt-Head!
- Beavis, you're about to get
fired the hard way.
[loud crashing]
- Ah!
Ah, no!
Ah, no!
Mr. Butt-Head, no, stop!
No, ah!
Ow, ah!
Help, Butt-Head!
Ow, ow!
- I swear, Beavis, if you're
still alive, you're fired.
- [screaming]
- [chuckles]
You're unemployed again.
- I'm making money
from workman's comp,
and I still have my self-steam.
[both chuckling]
- No, you don't.
You're a dumb butthole,
and you always will be.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I forgot.
Yeah, thank you.
[both chuckling]
- Just fascinating.
- Yes, yes.
Intellectually stimulating.
Yes, yes, very humorous.
- Unfortunately,
oh, foolish humans,
your puny brains are too weak
to comprehend
what you just saw.
- Yes, yes.
I hope you were at least able
to enjoy the pretty colors.
Smart Butt-Head,
let us watch it again
to pick up more smart nuances.
- We cannot,
because I think I erased it.
- Ah, yes, droll, droll, yes.
Quire risible, yes.
- Amusing.
Amusing and humorous, yes, yes.
- Quite off-kilter, yes, yes.
[eerie music]
You missed. - Yes, yes, indeed.
Too much yaw-- entering new coordinates now.
- Um, those are not the right coordinates, Smart Butt-Head.
- Quite farcical, yes.
- Yes, yes, allow me.
[loud crash] - Those were also incorrect.
- Yes, yes, peculiar and quaint, yes, yes.
♪ ♪
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
- Chirp.
09x09 & 09x10 - Nice Butt-Head / Home Aide
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.