01x10 - The Last Breakfast

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Irreverent". Aired: November 30, 2022 - present.
Following a failed heist, a criminal mediator from Chicago flees for his life and hides out in a small Australian reef community in Far North Queensland, where he poses as the new church reverend.
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01x10 - The Last Breakfast

Post by bunniefuu »


Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot,

hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

[KNOCKS ON WALL] Reverend Boyd.

Yeah, that's me.

Uh, I don't think we met.

- Call me Jag.

- Hey, Jag. Nice to meet you.

Likewise. Ah, it smells amazing in here.

Cooking up a feast, eh?

- You want some?

- I'm starving.

Have a seat.

- Cheers for that.

- Yep.

So you work with Piper?

Yeah, no, help yourself.

Tell me

how is it all?

All what?

New house, new church, new identity.


What's that?

It's got to be a big change

completely starting over again

in a job you know nothing about.

I'm not sure I know what you mean.

Uh, a reverend taking a cut

from a small-town tobacco syndicate,

knocking over a sugar mill.

It took quite a bit of

figuring out who you were, too.

I had to call immigration,

and I hate that

you know, the red tape

and headaches and shit.

If I wanted to arrest you,

I would have brought some mates.

So Andy and Ryan have

been talking to you, huh?

They don't like you very much,

and you cost me a fair

old chunk of change.

And now

time to go.

No. No, I'm not going anywhere.

If I say you're going

you're going

because I don't want a

body count in my town.

I don't want any American attention,

and I sure as shit

don't want Piper lifting the lid.

There is a second option.

Not that I see.

Yeah, I stay.

I stay, and I run it.

You leave today.

And if you ever show your face

anywhere in my state again,

I'll have you executed.

Hey, do you mind? I Yeah.

I'm going to try one, actually.

- How did it feel?

- Excuse me?

When you found out that

your guys got busted,

how did it feel?

You know, your supply chain's broken.

There's going to be paperwork,

risky paperwork, too.

You know, was it stress? Was it anger?

Were you worried about your family?

Hey, mention my family again,

I'll end you right here.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, your family they're

better off without those guys.

They're just thugs, you know?

If you'd done your research,

which I'm guessing that you

have 'cause you found me,

you know that there is

no person on the planet

more capable of handling

this thing than me.

I mean, look what I

did to your operation.

So I stay. I run it.

You and your family don't have to stress

about something like this ever again,

and bonus your cut gets bigger

'cause you don't have

all those mouths to feed.

I'll get the product to

the city contacts directly

so you get more,

Agnes and her farmers get more,

and your whole lot is happy and settled.


what do say, Sarge?

You got a hell of a mess here.

I go to work in a mess.


One month.

Anything other than sparkling clean,

and I go back to option one.

You're making the right decision.

This works in the quietness

in the shadows.

I don't want any attention.

You're in luck there.

Nobody knows I'm here.



Where are you?

I'm almost there.

I'm getting tired of waiting.

- I want updates on the hour.

- Yes, ma'am.

I don't care how far back you

go with my husband, Farah.

My son is d*ad.

So, if Paulo isn't in the ground today,

then you are taking his place.




Happy birthday, Vic.

Happy birthday, Dad.

It's perfect.

Gloria, gloria ♪

Gloria, gloria ♪

Oh, hi.

I'm sorry.

Can we help you?

Yeah. Yeah, you can.

I'm looking for

Reverend Mackenzie Boyd.

Oh, he'll probably be next door.

- Are you a friend?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I am a friend.

Oh, well, then you can

be a friend of ours.

So this reverend lets you

drink beers in church, huh?

Oh, uh

we, uh we lost someone recently.

You did?

- So did I.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I lost my wife.

Oh, God.



- Mm.

- Oh, wow.

That that's fresh.

Sorry, brother.

[CRYING] Thank you.

Thank you.

You're so kind.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Uh, hey, um, pull up a pew?


- Got your radio, Amy.

- Oh, thanks, Daisy.

- Hey, Daise.

- Hey.

Hey, Daise.

She seems nice.


[HUFFS] He's here.

- Who?

- You.

More words.

Um, t t the guy from the photos

the real you

he's here.

Morning, Rev.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, buddy.

You good?

Are you?

Oh, yeah.

Ah, well, you guys probably

have some catching up to do.

Uh, yeah, we do.

I mean, you came all this way, right?

I did.

- Come here.

- Oh, a little kiss.

- A kiss to my head.

- Love that, truly.


Bye, guys.


They're such good people.



What? Wait. Wait.

Just wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait. Just wait, wait.

Paulo, wait. Wait.

For the love of God, just wait.

Open it.

Open it.

It's yours.

- Seriously?

- I don't want it.

It's cursed.

That money has brought

me nothing but death

and Zumba classes.

Who knows you're here?


You sure?

Because the people that

are looking for this money,

they are sending somebody after

[CRYING] I k*lled him.


The man who was looking for you.




you k*lled Farah,

the most dangerous hit man in Chicago?


- You k*lled him?

- With a garden shovel.

- Bullshit.

I put him in the ground

and buried him in dirt,

same shovel

right after.


Right after what?

She's gone, Paolo.


Who's gone?


He k*lled Charmaine.




I'm sorry.

It's my fault.

I mean, yeah.

But I can't help but thinking, Paolo,

maybe this was meant to be.

Paolo, maybe maybe

I needed a wake-up call,

and the Almighty knew, oh, He knew.

You knew just how to

deliver it to me, didn't You?

In in a bag of stolen cash?

- Exactly, yes.

- No.

And what God is telling

me right now, it is

it is so clear.

No, that's fine. Don't touch me.

He's not the one you need

to be listening to, okay?

It's me, and I am telling you

that you need to leave right now.


No, Paolo, I can stay.

Paolo, I can stay.

I can do this. [BREATHING HEAVILY]

I can do


But this whole idea that you've got,

it's not going to work.

First, there's the local cop.

She's going to figure it out right away.

I'm talking FBI-level brain here, okay?

- And then

- I don't care.

Then you have the

people that sent Farah.

They are gonna send another Farah,

and I don't like your

chances a second time.

- No, just

- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

The biggest problem is me

Because if you don't leave right now,

I'm going to have to change

my mind and k*ll you myself.




For Christ's sake.

Mackenzie, get in the car now.

It really is pretty, isn't it?

Yeah, well,

there's plenty of pretty

places in the world, Reverend.

You need to find your own.

Congratulations, Paulo.

On what?

You can be whoever you want to be now.

You're finally out of here.



Fitness 24. This is Amanda speaking.

- How may I help?

- Hi, um

Wait. Who is this?

Amanda. How can I help you?

Lewis, is he there? Can you go get him?


Lewis, the guy who owns

the gym is he there?

Can you go get him?

Oh, right. You mean the guy who

Who what?

The guy who run the place?


The guy who died?

Wait, excuse excuse me.

What? No. No.

Look, I-I-I am looking

for Lewis Johnson.

He owns the gym. I know that he's there.

Just just go get him and

put him on the phone, will you?

Yeah, I think

I'm really sorry.

I think he was involved

with some people.

It was in the paper.

They found him in the river so sad.

I'm sorry.

Did you know him well?




What's going on?

Where is he?

Got rid of him.

Did you whack him?

Did I whack him?

- It means

- No, I know what it means.

No, I-I did not whack him.



You're leaving.

Look, I'm sorry, but I told

you this was going to happen.

It's time for me to go.

It's fine.

Look, this has been

That's gross, so just stop that.

No, I mean, you, you you're

I-I'm coming.


- I'm coming with you.

- No, you're not.

Look, Daisy, you're amazing,

and I would I would

like to take you with me,

I really would, but it's not safe.

The people that are

after me, they're bad.

So the the best place for you to be

is as far away from me as possible.

Bad people have been coming

for you this whole time,

and I've stuck by you.

Now I'm just asking

for you to stick by me.

How quickly can you pack?


Have you said goodbye?

Have you said goodbye?

In case you hadn't noticed,

I'm kind of a loner.

So am I.

No, you're not.

Give give me one hour.




Uh, Peter, now is not a good time.

I'm not staying, Reverend.

I'm meeting Helen for a beach walk.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

[CHUCKLES] That's great, man.

- What's this?

- Shiraz, I think.

For Sunday?

No, for you.

It's for you.

Peter, you are you

are you giving me a gift?

Shiraz is best paired with

hard cheeses and red meat.

Thank you.



Hey, Helen.

Hey, Rev.

Are you okay?

Me? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.


See you around.



- Hey, dickhead.

- Hey.

Hey, dickhead. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, I reckon I've got it sorted.

- Um, Cam, I just

- Just wait.

Just just give me two minutes, yeah?



Here we are.

Thank you.

All right, you ready?

Cam's Cabs.

Basically, as long as my bike holds up,

200 trips, 5 bucks a trip.

That's 10 grand, Daise.

I do one or or or two trips a day,

and that's under a year.

Also, don't fill up on

these because we got

got fish and chips tonight, yeah?

5 times 200 is 1,000.


You need to do 2,000 trips, Cam.


You'll be fine.

You don't need to worry about it.

Of course I do. That's

It's all [GRUMBLES]

It's all I do worry about.

I'm I'm going to be fine.

Well, maybe, but

what if you're you're

in and out of hospital?

Then what?

Then what happens to me,

and and what happens to the calamari?

Because I'm not going to eat it.

I might. I could.

But it's ten grand.

Daisy, I can get ten grand.

You never had one grand in your life.

Because I've never needed it.

It's unrealistic.

[SIGHS] Okay, then

then not just Cam's Cabs.

I'll do Cam's Dog Wash, too, right?

I'll do five bucks per dog

or five bucks per animal.

I'll do any animal. I'll

do four bucks a cat and

Oh, no, you can't wash a cat.

Kind of wash themselves, right?

You can't pet-wash

your way to ten grand.

But I can I can at least try.

I don't want you to.

Don't exactly have too much going

going on elsewhere.

Worry about your shit.

I don't have any shit.

You live in a caravan, Cameron.


That's fine.





- Have you slept, like, at all?

- Sure.

I mean, not that you look tired.

I mean, you look fresh, great, um

but have you thought

about sleeping in

you know, an actual house?

Hey, you were at the

you were putting up the

phone thing last night,

right, on the church?

- Yeah.

- Who was there?

A lot of people.

I mean, must have been half the town.

No. [SIGHS] Okay, um, who wasn't there?

The other 6.4 billion

people on the planet.

Someone saved me last night.

I don't know who it was.

They just disappeared,

but I got a print.

You got a print to try to find

the person that helped you?


I mean, you don't hide if

you're not guilty, right?

Hey, Piper

I mean, I don't have

prints for everyone in town,

of course, but everyone's

phones went live last night,

so I could cross-check

that with a residents list.






Uh, never mind.


Hey, look, I got to go. [CHUCKLES]


I'll see you around, yeah?






Hello? Hello?


- How can I help you?


Yeah, I need a ticket out of here.

Certainly, sir.

Where is here, and where are you headed?

Brisbane to Chicago.

Certainly, sir.

Is that a return?

One way.

Can you turn the music

down a little there, sir?

I'm having some trouble hearing you.

Do you like your job?

Yes, sir.

You go home, you go to

bed, you see your family?

- Some something like that.

- Never change, pilgrim.

What's your name?

It's Amari.


When were you hoping to travel?

Sir, do you have a date?

Would you like to travel soon?


Yes. Yes.


What are you doing here?

I live here.

Could have fooled me.

Do you think I'm obsessed

with this chop-chop stuff?

Do I think you're obsessed with it?

I'm not.

It's me, Piper.

Boss sent me home.

Yeah? Good for him.

I'm going to take the day off.


I am.

And do what?

Do relaxing.

Got any more of those?






You know what your problem is, Piper?

It's not that you've got

your priorities wrong.

It's that you don't have

any priorities at all.

It's just work and nothing else.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about your

mood, all the time.

I'm talking about the

fact that we're engaged

and we live together,

and I've seen you, what,

13 minutes this week?

I'm talking about us.

You need to make some decisions, Pipes.

Decisions about what?

You actually want to be here?

You actually want to marry me?


No, Pipes.

No, it's not obvious.


3:00 p.m.


3:00 p.m., church this afternoon,

we get married.

[SCOFFS] Are you serious?

At some point,

you're going to have

to make a choice, Piper.

Marry me today, or

don't marry me at all.

Ball's in your court, Officer.


You know, Lester,

racking up a tab at your own place

isn't actually free beer.

I'll go easy.

Good day.

What can we do for you?

I'm looking for the church.

Down the road a couple minutes,

down the beach a little longer.

Daisy or Mack should be there.

- Lovely chap.

- Hmm.

Very chatty.



Hey, uh, Rev.


I need a favor.

Uh, can we talk later, man?

Look, I-I need you

to marry me and Piper.

Yeah. No, you're all good.

It's on the books.

- T today.

- [CHUCKLES] What?

Look, it's important,

mate. It's got to be today.

Look, Aidan, these

these things need to be planned, okay?

It's not like it's a barbecue.

Why not?

Why not what?

Well, it's not the royal wedding.

It could literally

actually be a barbecue.

You know the lines, right?

I mean, yeah. I

Look, 3:00 p.m., Rev.

Look I-I can't. I'm sorry. I

I'll round up the

bride and a few people.

It's got to be today.

- Okay, bud.






Hey, there.

Who are you?

Is the reverend home?

- You're American.

- Yeah.

- Friend of Mack's?

- Old friend.

I didn't know Mack was

expecting a visitor.

Well, it's a surprise.



Look, Aidan, there's a lot of things

you need to consider, man.

Hello, Paolo.


How did you get this number?

I got it from your little friend.

She's very obliging, good kid.


What do you want?

You, of course.

You know how this works.

Iona Beach, 2:00 p.m., come alone.

Don't try anything,

and she should be fine.



You got another warrant?

Why didn't you just tell me

you were out on your dad's boat?


During the mill robbery.

Why didn't you just tell me?

Because if you actually knew me,

you know I'd never

do anything like that.

That's fair.


Aim, something happened

to me in Brisbane.


I screwed up at work.

I didn't have anyone,

and so I came back here

and something's happened today.

You're not giving me a ton

of information here, Piper.

When we were teenagers, we

had problems all the time,

but it didn't matter to me that much

because I had you.

We'd sit under the cabbage tree

and drink a box of stolen wine

and sort out each other's shit.

Then I left town, and I said

I would call and check in,

and I didn't.

I just didn't.

You needed me, and I wasn't there.

I left.

Now I need you again.

I need you.

And I need to say I'm sorry.



Come with me.

Take you back?

All that's missing is the cheap red.


- When did

- The day you got back.

All right.

Lay it on me.


- Here you go.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.


5, 10 oh, 15


[SCOFFS] 10 grand.




Send her over, Farah.

Did he hurt you?

I'm fine.

The keys are in the hearse.

Go find Piper and tell her everything.

- Mack, I

- Shut up.

Do it, now.

You're a hard man to find, Paulo.

I know. I didn't want to

make it too easy on you.


Hey, hey, listen.

Hey, Farah, I got the money, all right?

So you can k*ll me now, or

you can k*ll me in ten minutes

when you walk away with over a

million dollars in your pocket.

How does that sound?

I'll k*ll you now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

That idiot reverend he came back.

I got him.

I got his money, all right?

It's yours.

Farah, in a couple of days,

you're going to be back on

a plane to Chicago, okay?

You're going to have

to report on your trip.

I've been in front of Lorenzo.

I know how scary that is,

but he's not your real issue, is he?

I've only met Antoinette once.

That was enough for me.

And that was only about a

little territory squabble.

I would imagine that

avenging her son's death

just carries a little bit more weight.

My point is that you and

I we're basically the same.

We both trade on our reputation.

And me I'm just trying to imagine

what your reputation is going to be like

when people realize

that you not only lost

Antoinette's money

[CHUCKLES] But you got your

ass kicked by a reverend.

Farah, there is a middle-aged

theologian out there

who will tell anyone who listens

about how he buried you.


I give you him, I give you the money,

and I'm gone forever

because you k*lled me.

Nobody has to know.

Swimming pool.

We live on the beach, mate,

and you can't even swim.


We buy a helicopter investment.

You know what the rev did

only gets us an extra few

hundred bucks a week, right?


Secondhand helicopter investment.

You can't just say the word "investment"

and it makes it an investment.

Things are looking up for you two, huh?

You guys want to get paid,

you better help me keep the rev alive.

k*lling Lewis was a mistake.

I'm going to make you regret it.

No, I enjoyed it.


He was out of the game.

He ran a gym.

He took care of people. He

kept kids off the street.

And you, you twisted, sick

You brought a kid into play.

There used to be rules against that.

There used to be a code.

Tell yourself whatever

lies you like, Paulo,

but don't lie to me.

You put her in play,

just like you put that

stupid friend of hers in play

the moment you called him.

You know it, and I know it.

Good day, fellas. [SNIFFS]

I'd drop that if I was you.

Hey. Down.

Want to jump out of the car, Rev?

Welcome to the family.

I'll take those.

Have a good one.



Get in the car!

Where to, Rev?

This is up there, bro.

What's that?

Some of the crazier things you've done,

and this includes us

swimming a keg of beer

across to the island.




- Hey.

- Hey.

When did you get a suit?

When I found out you

were moving back to Clump.

When did you get the dress suit?


- What do you call it?

Five minutes ago from Amy.

Thank you.

You ready?

- Terrified.

- Yeah, me too.

Good. Good.

Where's the rev?

He's never where you want him to be.

What do you mean?

Oh, he disappeared yesterday

just when we needed him.

He should have said a few words.

Still, Ron and I managed

to launch the satellite

without a hitch, safe and secure.

Mm, depends on your

definition of safe and secure.


- Thanks.

Biggest cross in far

North Queensland, iconic.

He really should have been there.

Do you remember what time he left?


Hey, it's all good, Pipes. He'll show.

Oh, my God.

No, he won't.





Don't you move.

Piper, I need I need

you to trust me, okay?

I need to trust you? I did trust you!

[SHOUTS] Okay. I know you did.

Yeah, I know you did, and

I am so grateful for that,

- but I need us to go right now.

- I talked to you.

I told you things.

- I don't even know your name!

- Okay.

Okay, Piper, I'm going to turn around.

I need you to look me in the eyes.

All right.

[PANTING] I will tell you

everything, I promise you.

I'm going to tell you everything,

but right now, there is a

very dangerous man coming,

and he will k*ll us

both if we don't leave


You lying piece of shit.

I am. No, you're right, I am.

I'm all of that, but we need to go.

Please, Piper.

All of this, the chop-chop,

the bikies, the mill.

- The mill was you, wasn't it?

- It was me, all right?

It was all me, but I will

explain it later, okay?

- Right now we just need to go.

- You were going to marry us.

Piper, listen to me. Listen to me.

You're not going to sh**t me.

Just listen to me, okay? We need to go.

We need to go right now. Please.

Come on, Piper, come on!

I'm arresting you on suspicion of

Who the hell are you?

Piper, sh**t him.

- sh**t him.

- Stop.

Piper, sh**t him. sh**t him now.

- Stop.

- Piper, sh**t him!






Who are you?

I have no idea.

Thank you.

Don't thank me.


Whoo! [LAUGHS]


What am I supposed to do now?

You tell me.


Farah, you've had long enough.

We are moving to plan B.

I will deal with this myself.

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