02x07 - Arrivederci

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The White Lotus". Aired: July 11, 2021 to present.*
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Series follows the guests and employees of an exclusive tropical resort destination.
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02x07 - Arrivederci

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, listen, you gotta get back
in bed now, okay?

It's the middle
of the night there.

- Can you...
- Where's Daddy?

Can you give the phone
to Grammy, please?

- I want Daddy.
- Ca... Cameron?

- Hey, Cam?
- Where's Daddy?

- Cameron?
- Daddy.

Cameron!

He wants to talk to you.

Yeah. Oh.
Hey, buddy. How are you?

- Good!
- We love you.

We'll see you tomorrow!

♪ I'm gonna help you.

I don't want you to go.

Maybe you can come to L.A.

Buongiorno.

Here she is.
The new diva of Palermo.

- Do you want some coffee?
- I'd love some. Thanks.

- Hugo.
- Okay.

So, how was Niccolò?

I... I mean, the whole night
was like a dream.

We just wanted you
to have the perfect send-off.

Oh, send-off. What?

We have to leave Villa Pisano
and bring you back to Taormina.

Oh.

You know, I just wish
I could grab you all

and fold you up in my trunk
and take you with me.

- Aww.
- I do.

Well, we could probably all fit.

That's true.

It's a wonderful thing
to make a...

A new friend so late in life.

Late in life?

It's... it's a French saying.
"Tard dans la vie."

- Oh.
- Late. Yes, it's, a...

- Oh, okay.
- French.

- French saying.
- So many French sayings.

Hey, has anyone seen Portia?

- Is she here?
- No.

Did anyone see her at the party?

She's probably traipsing
through the fields

with Jack somewhere.

This is my luck, you know?
My bad luck with assistants.

They become my boss.

I'm taking orders from them
and they're bossing me around.

And they, you know,
start stealing my medications

and... and then they disappear.

This is just how it goes
with me.

What are you doing?

I... I can't find my phone.
Where's my phone?

How should I know?

Well, I was charging it
all night.

It was right here.

- So I...
- I'm sure you'll find it.

It's gotta be somewhere.
Just come back to bed.

I need my phone.
I need to call Tanya.

It's fine. I texted my uncle.

It's all good.

Come on.

It's all gonna be fine.

My phone, it's so weird.

Maybe you left it at the bar.

No, I definitely had it
last night

'cause I was trying to find you
on Instagram

and I couldn't find you.

I don't do that sh*t.

Not even Instagram?

- Oh, Dio.
- Buongiorno.

Valentina...

Apparently,
he just got super ragey at work.

Ragey? Adam?

Yeah. He just lost...
He threw a... a yogurt

at his assistant's face.

He got fired
'cause he threw a yogurt?

- Jesus.
- Yes. You can't throw

a yogurt at someone's face.

It's his assistant.
Who cares?

I ran into his wife at the gym.
She's awful.

Oh, my God.

Two kids in private school.

I mean, his family can help them
a little bit, but...

Christ. When did the world
become run by nuns?

I mean, you're not even supposed
to succeed anymore, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- 'Cause if you succeed,

oh, sh*t, you might make
someone else feel bad.

You might cause harm

to all the sad losers
in the world.

You're an idiot.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How'd you sleep?

Fine. Um, Dad?

Yeah?

I need 50,000 euros.

Fifty thousand euros?

What for?

Oh, no, not for that girl.

Well, forget it.

I have all the bank account
information,

so you can just
call your accountant

and have him wire the money.

Yeah. Sure. I'll just call him
right now. Yeah.

Gimme the...

No.

- What?
- You can make someone's life.

Fifty thousand euros? And...
And you just met this girl,

- like, what, three days ago?
- So what?

Come on, Albie. Get real.

Lots of people need help
in the world.

I'm not an NGO.

You don't need it.
It's nothing to you.

No, it's nothing to you
'cause you don't work for money.

It's pretty much nothing to you.

I mean, what? You're just gonna
go through life trying to rescue

every desperate girl
you come across?

Maybe. Yeah.

Well, good luck with that.
Don't expect me to subsidize.

Think of it as a karmic payment.

- A karmic payment?
- Yeah.

- For what?
- For all the sh*t you've done.

Ten thousand euros.

- Are we negotiating?
- No. I don't know. I mean...

What... She doesn't need
50,000 euros.

- Yes, she does.
- Why does she need it?

There's a dude stalking her.

You saw him.
And she's stuck and... Whatever.

I just... Fifty thousand dollars.
I can't. I could never...

- Not in good conscience ever...
- Conscience?

Now you have a conscience?
Over this?

Just do it. Just give it.

And then what?
Are you gonna have

some kind of relationship
with this girl?

Why not, you know? I like her.

We've been talking
about her coming to visit L.A.

Come on, man. Albie. I mean...

How are you gonna
make it in life

- if you're this big a mark?
- I'm not a mark.

I'll help you out with Mom.

♪ Give me 50...

and I'll help you with Mom.

- How are you gonna help me?
- I don't know.

I'll tell her how sorry you are

and how this whole trip,

all you could think about
was her,

and how it seems like
you've really changed.

Yadda, yadda.

You would do that?

- Morning.
- Morning.

What are we talking about?

- Nothing.
- Nothing.

I had a dream that we went
to visit our relatives.

They turned out to be
a bunch of banshees

and chased us out of town.

Ah. Wow.

Okay.

- Ciao.
- Ciao.

- Ah, no?
- No.

Ah, okay.

Ah!

- Sì.
- Grazie, grazie.

Salvatore.

Salvatore. Salvato...

Salvatore.

Scusa, eh.

Grazie.

Hello? Hello?

What are you doing?

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

You know,
I came in here last night,

you know, and I saw this photo.

And I thought I dreamt it,
but here it is.

I mean, who is this?

Steve.

Oh.

He worked on a dude ranch
I stumbled on

when I was bumming around
in my aspiring Kerouac days.

We used to go fly-fishing
and drop acid together.

What ever happened to him?

Do you know?
I don't really know.

Lost touch. Haven't spoken
to him in decades.

I mean, my God.
He looks just like Greg.

- Greg?
- My husband.

Only he has hair.

Well,
the resemblance is uncanny.

Well, we're heading out.

We need to be at the dock
in half an hour.

Matteo is staying back,
unfortunately,

but he wanted to say goodbye.

- Arrivederci, Tanya.
- Oh. My God, Matteo.

Buona fortuna.

- Oh.
- Buona fortuna.

Hey.

- Shall we?
- Oh. Yeah.

He's really crying.

Yes. Italians, they tend
to get a little overwrought.

What's wrong?

You f*cked him.

- What?
- I know what you did.

You f*cked him
to get back at me,

but I did nothing wrong.

- Are you okay?
- I know you did something.

I didn't.

You're lying.
You're not a good liar.

Because I'm not lying
and I don't lie.

You just called him an idiot
at breakfast.

That was the tell.
You would not have done that

if something hadn't happened
between you.

- That doesn't make any sense.
- Stop f*cking with me, Harper.

I can forgive you,
but just be honest with me.

- I saw you at the f*cking bar.
- What bar?

You know the bar.

I was in the water
and you guys were doing sh*ts

and flirting and whispering
to each other.

And then I come up here
and the f*cking door is latched?

- Why was the door latched?
- I don't know.

Yeah, right.

I don't know.
You're reading into it, okay?

It... It's not like you found
a condom on the couch.

The difference
is, I didn't do anything!

Did I?

- How do I know?
- Because I f*cking told you.

You asked me so I told you.
I told you the whole truth.

Well, I'm telling you
I didn't do anything, okay?

Haven't I always been honest
with you?

Yeah. But you're lying now.

- Ethan, f*ck off.
- Just be honest with me.

Just be honest with me.
Just tell me what happened.

I can't move on from this

until you tell me
exactly the truth.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, we did sh*ts at the bar.

- Mm-hmm.
- And...

And, yeah,
I was really mad at you

because of the hookers
and the condom

- and the whole situation.
- And then?

And then...

And then he said,
"Let's go upstairs."

The night before at dinner,

under the table, he...

he kept touching my leg
or something. I don't know.

I was drunk, obviously.

S...

So we went upstairs.
I let him in the room.

He latched the door.

And then he kissed me.

But that was it, okay?
That was all.

You came up right away.

He went through
the connecting door.

And he kissed me
for like two seconds.

It was nothing. And I was drunk.

And I'm not even attracted
to him anyway.

He's disgusting, okay?
It was a drunk, stupid nothing.

I regretted it
immediately, okay? That was it.

So it wasn't for the hat?

The hat?

You said you came up here
for a f*cking hat.

It's not funny.

I know.

No, it wasn't for the hat.

But it was nothing, okay?
It was a drunk, dumb nothing.

It was less than nothing.

And the real issue is that

you're not attracted
to me anyway.

You don't want have sex with me.
You make up excuses.

You'd rather watch p*rn.
That is the problem.

Not Cameron kissing me
for two seconds.

You're still lying to me.

- I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

I came up, like,
ten minutes after you

and you're telling me
that all you did was kiss?

You're minimizing it.

N... No.
We went up the wrong path.

- We were drunk.
- Bullshit. f*cking bullshit.

- It's not bullshit.
- Stop bullshitting me, please.

Ethan, I swear to God.

All right. You didn't f*ck him,
but what happened?

Did you suck his d*ck?
Did you blow him?

- No.
- Did he get his d*ck out?

No. What?

You're lying to me.

I... I told you what happened,
so, I...

All right. I don't know
what the f*ck happened,

but one thing that I do know
is he tried to f*ck you.

Where are you going?

Coming!

Oh, hey, Ethan. What's going on?

Where the f*ck is Cameron?

Um, he's at the beach,
taking a swim.

Is everything okay?

Cameron!

Cameron!

Hey! Hey!

Hey, buddy, what's up?

- Are you trying to f*ck my wife?
- What?

Are you trying
to f*ck my wife, huh?

- Are you?
- I have no idea

what you're f*cking
talking about, man.

Is that why you invited us
out here

on this dumb f*cking vacation?

Dude. Do you think
I invited you here

- so I could f*ck your wife?
- Why do you do this, man?

'Cause I make more money
than you now?

- Jesus Christ!
- To make yourself feel better

- about yourself, huh?
- No. No, look.

- We're friends, man.
- Don't f*cking touch me.

I'm happy for you, buddy.

- We're friends?
- Yeah.

We are not friends.
This is not some girl

that I have a crush on.
It's my f*cking wife.

- Come on.
- Friends don't try to f*ck

each other's
f*cking wives, assh*le!

You're f*cking crazy.

f*ck.

Hey, let him go! Let him go!

What the f*ck?

Hey, hey, hey!

Get the f*ck off me, man!

Get outta here, man.
Come on. Enough.

I'm still just confused about
where my phone went, you know?

'Cause like...

I got a feeling you'll find it.

Well, I kinda need it now.

I'm here for work,

and Tanya's my boss,
and I have to call her and...

Yeah, well,
she can't talk to you now anyway

'cause she's on the boat.

She is?

They're heading back
to Taormina.

But what about me?
How am I supposed to get back?

Well, I'm driving ya.

I thought, you know,
you'd like that.

It's our last day together.

I wanna show you
around the island.

Want you to be satisfied,
don't I?

All right.
I'm gonna take a sh*t...

and then I'm gonna
get you a drink

'cause you need to tranquillo.

All right?

What a life you have.
I mean, this boat, your villa...

Oh, my God, everything you have
is a work of art.

So many incredible palazzi
in Sicily

are in a terrible state.

We spend half our lives
raising money

to keep these historic estates

from falling into ruin,
don't we, Didier, darling?

I do the same in the south
of France, you know.

- Noblesse oblige.
- Yeah. And, you know,

there aren't
enough people out there

that are worried
about old buildings.

We're here on Earth
such a short time,

but our houses live on.
We must be good stewards.

So glad you agree.

Oh, jeez. Wait, hold on.

Don't normally get reception out
on the water.

Hello?

Portia? Portia... I can't hear...
Hold on a second. Hold on.

Excuse me.

And what number is this, anyway?

Uh, it's... it's Jack's.

I lost my phone
and I have this weird feeling

that he...
That he took it or something.

Oh. Yeah, well,
I wouldn't be surprised.

Listen, Portia,
I know you really like him,

but...

The other night I was walking
around the villa and...

Well...

I saw Jack and his uncle
and, you know,

they were, like... they were,
like, naked and stuff like that.

They w... They were naked?
Doing what?

Well...

He was kinda f*cking his uncle.

What?

I didn't have the heart
to tell you before.

- Portia? Portia?
- Yeah.

Yeah. I... I f...

I feel like something bad
is happening.

- What do you mean, "bad"?
- I don't know.

I just have this
really weird feeling

that something bad
is gonna happen.

To you or to me?

Jack got really drunk last night

and he was saying how like, um,
Quentin has no money,

and he almost lost his house,

and he's about to come
into this giant windfall

or something,
and Jack is helping him.

That doesn't make any sense.

Look, I...
I'm on his yacht right now.

- He has money.
- Yeah.

I just have this... this really
creepy feeling right now.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Something weird
did happen last night!

- What?
- I was in Quentin's bedroom,

and there was this photo
of a guy on his desk.

And it looked just like Greg.

Greg? There was
a picture of Greg?

Well, it couldn't be Greg.

I mean, he doesn't know
any gay guys in Sicily.

But then he did insist
that we come to Sicily.

The prenup. The prenup.
The prenup!

What... what about the prenup?

If we divorce,
he gets basically nothing.

But, if...

- If what?
- If I...

- Die?
- Oh.

- Oh, my God.
- Um, Tanya.

- Oh, my God.
- Uh...

Portia, meet me in Taormina.

We gotta get
the f*ck outta here.

Yeah. Uh, okay. Uh...
You're gonna be...

You're gonna be fine though,
Tanya, okay?

I... I really feel like
we're just over thinking

- this whole thing. And...
- Oi!

Sh...

Portia?

Um...

Was that an international call?

'Cause that...
That costs me money.

I need to get back to Taormina,
like... like right away.

Your flight's not till tomorrow.

It's our last day together.
But...

- Yeah. Um...
- Why are you acting funny?

Yeah.
I feel like I...

I need to get back now.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You'll get back.
There's no rush.

Come on.
I wanna show you Sicily.

Okay. Um...

Yeah.

Hello.

How was Portia?

Has Hades carried her off
into the Underworld?

So, uh, how much longer
to Taormina?

Just a few hours.

Enjoy the Ionian Sea
while you still can.

Ethan.

Come here. Sit down.

- Hey.
- Hi.

You okay? You haven't really
seemed like yourself

the past couple of days.

Work stuff?

What is it?

You wanna know?

Yeah.

I think...

You think what?

Cameron and Harper.

Cameron and Harper, what?

Maybe something happened.

I don't think you have
anything to worry about.

I mean, we never really know
what goes on in people's minds

or what they do, right?

You spend every second
with somebody

and there's still this part
that's a mystery.

You know?

You don't have
to know everything

to love someone.

A little mystery?

It's kinda sexy.

I'm a mystery to myself.

Honestly, I surprise myself
all the time.

I think you just... you just...

do whatever you have to do

not to feel like a victim
of life.

You know?

Just use your imagination.

Have you been over there yet,
to I so la Bella?

I really wanna go
before we leave.

It looks so pretty.

Come on. Walk with me.

Well, now that we're here,
c... can we get off the boat?

Oh, well,

I thought we'd have
our last dinner on board.

No, I... I really just wanna
get back to my hotel.

Oh, no. Are you bored of us?

- No. No, no, no. I...
- The thing is

we're about as close
as we can get on a big boat.

The good news is that Niccolò,
your paramour,

is arriving this evening
on a little dinghy

and he's going to escort you
personally to the shore.

Just me and him?

One last rendezvous?
What's not fun about that?

Ah.

Hey.

Ciao.

Grazie.

Um...

- Um...
- Hmm.

Okay.

Sì.

Ah.

Mm.

Ciao.

Rocco.

Grazie, Valentina.

Sì.

Sì.

Hey.

Um...

Huh?

Hmm.

Um...

Eh.

Mm...

Hmm?

- Huh?
- Eh.

Huh?

Hey.

Ciao.

See? Told you
they wouldn't tow it.

Can you just cut the sh*t,
like, have I been kidnapped

or what's... what's going on?

What? What are you on about?
No.

Like, I... I know you stole
my phone, so...

Are you mental?

Please, can you just
tell me the truth?

I know you've been lying to me

and I know
Quentin isn't your uncle.

Wh... Yes, he is.
Wh... I...

Yeah? So you f*ck your uncle?

Wha... Fu...

Well, I was gonna show you
around the island, but...

I'm not really in the mood now.

Guess I'll just drive you back.

I can just...
I can just get a cab.

It takes a couple of hours.
You can't afford a cab.

Anyway, me uncle
made me promise to drive ya.

You don't want me to get
in trouble now, do ya?

Just let me do me job. Yeah?

How am I your job?

Like, you've just been,
like, assigned to me this...

- Oi!
- Oh.

Just leave it alone.

Yeah?

Okay.

Oh. sh*t!

This boat is huge.

Yes. Hey. Hi. Yeah.

- Hi. Okay.
- Buona sera, signora.

Hi. Hey.
Do you speak English?

- No.
- No inglese? Okay.

Hey. Do you know these gays?

- Do you know these gays?
- Gay?

I know it sounds crazy,

but my husband,
he knows Quentin.

See, he brought me to Sicily
and then he left,

so he could have an alibi.
And then these gays,

they take me off to Palermo

and then they set me up
with this guy who's in the mafia

and he's coming here I... I think
to try to throw me off the boat.

They're going to do
Greg's dirty work for him

because he's gonna pay them
with my money

so they can decorate
their houses or some sh*t.

I may... may be paranoid,

but I need you to drive me
in the boat,

drive the boat to the shore.

Please?

These gays,
they're trying to m*rder me.

Can...

- Mi capisci?
- Sì.

- Mi... Yeah?
- Sì.

Oh. Yeah?

Uh...

- Eh.
- What?

- You're gay?
- Sì.

Tutti.

Oh, my God.

I actually had
that thought, too.

Yeah.
He's got that red face thing.

- It looks a little swollen.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Hold on one second.

- Hi.
- Good evening. Welcome.

Um... Dinner for two,
I think. Right, two?

Yeah. I guess, yeah.

Mia, Mia!

- Hey, can we sit here? Perfect.
- Yes.

- Yeah.
- There you go.

Oh.

- Guys.
- Hey.

Hey.

- Sure.
- You gotta be kidding me.

- Hey.
- There you are.

How are you?

- Did you get my text?
- No.

Oh, I just texted you.

You guys gonna eat alone?

- It's our last night. Come on.
- Thanks. Yeah.

Hey, uh, can we get two more

- place settings for here?
- Thank you.

- Certainly.
- Thanks.

Oh, and a bottle
of your best champagne.

- I'll go get that.
- It's so nice out here.

Wow.

Okay.

Scusi. Scusi.

- Mm-hmm?
- I got the job. Singing here.

- Oh, congratulations.
- Grazie.

Grazie. Grazie Mille. Grazie!

- Grazie. Grazie, grazie.
- Prego.

I did it.

You did what?

My karmic payment.

Money's transferred.
It's all handled.

But let's not make it

a big deal.

I'd like to pretend
it never happened, okay?

And although it's not
why I did it,

maybe at some point, you can

put in a word for me
with your mother.

I already did.

Yeah?

Sweet girl.

You know,
she could be my granddaughter.

But, uh, when she hugged me
just now,

I got a little aroused.

- God.
- No, no, it's a...

A natural reaction.

Our Achilles' heel
is an Achilles' cock.

It's like a... a Greek curse.

Um, I wanna... Can I pass
on dinner tonight? I'm gonna...

I love you. Thank you.

Love you.

Oh.

What was that all about?

Guys, I just wanted to say,
this has been an amazing trip.

When some...

Flunky in the housing office
at Yale

decided to put me and E
in the same dorm room,

who would've known that
all these years later,

we'd still be
in each other's lives?

I think that's pretty cool, man.

And, Harper,
it has been fantastic

to finally get
to know you properly.

And, baby...

thanks for putting up with me.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Cheers, guys. To friendship.

To travel. To the good life.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Next year, the Maldives.

Hmm.

More scuba, less pasta.

I have some good news.

What?

Check your bank account.

Brava.

Not a lasagne fan?

I'm distracted.

Well, Niccolò
is quite distracting.

You're a lucky woman.
We're all very jealous.

Very, very.

Well, thanks
for the introduction.

I wanted you to have
the most magical time in Sicily.

It was the least I could do.

Here he is.

Aw.

Well, whenever you're ready

Niccolò can take you
back to Taormina.

Do I... Wait...
But what about Didier

and wh... what's-his-face?

I mean, don't they have
to go back to the hotel, too?

No, Didier and Hugo
are sleeping on the boat.

So, it'll just be
you and Niccolò.

Quite romantic in the moonlight.

Would you like to go?

No. No. No, no.

I would like
another glass of white wine.

We've got all the time
in the world.

Ethan?

What's gonna happen to us?

Thank you.

Hey.

You answered. How are you?

I miss you.

Listen, I can't talk
right now, okay?

But, um, I guess, just... call
me when you get back into town.

Yeah, yeah, I will, for sure.

- Bye.
- Okay. Bye.

Why did we stop?

Jack?

Jack?

Where are we?

I thought you said

you were gonna take me
back to Taormina.

We're not going to Taormina.

Huh?

This is Catania.
The airport is just that way.

Do you want my advice?

Don't go to the hotel.

Don't wait around.

Just get on
your flight tomorrow,

get the f*ck out of Sicily.

All right?

These people are powerful.
You don't wanna f*ck with 'em.

Look, I know you're smart,
all right?

Smarter than me. So...

just don't be stupid.

Wait, wait, wait.

Well, it's about that time.
Wouldn't you say?

All right. I g...
I have to use the powder room.

Well, you know where it is.

Tanya?

Uh. Yeah?

Tanya?

Is everything all right?

- Yeah.
- Tanya.

- Tanya?
- Yeah.

- Tanya.
- Yeah. In a minute.

Tanya, is everything all right?

- Yeah.
- Tanya?

In a minute.

You... This isn't
a bathroom, is it?

It's a bedroom.
Do you need some help?

Tanya?

- Yeah?
- Can we come in?

Yeah.

Should we have a little talk?

Is Greg having an affair?

Tell me, I know you know. I...

Tell me!

What?

Oh, sh*t.

Wait a minute.
No, wait a minute. I can't.

Can I get there? Can I?

I can't get off.

Oh, I can't.

You've got this.

Hey.

Portia?

Hi.

Hey.

Uh, where's your, uh,
dad and grandfather?

Oh, they're just over there.

Yeah.

Where's your boss?

She's not answering her phone
right now.

Oh, did you hear that one of
the guests drowned at the hotel?

Do you know who?

No, it was crazy.

They found a bunch
of dead bodies on a yacht, too.

How was Palermo?

Not great.

And what about the guy?

- He's deranged.
- Oh.

Yeah. And what about the girl,

- you know, that...
- Oh, yeah.

She played me.

Oh.

So... Uh...

- Can I get your number?
- Yeah.

- Sure.
- Oh, cool.

You could just put it in.

Yeah, and give me yours.

Yeah.

♪ Ah the moon belongs
To everyone ♪

♪ The best things in life
They're free ♪

♪ Stars belong to everyone ♪

♪ They cling there
For you and for me ♪

♪ Flowers in spring
The robins that sing ♪

♪ The sunbeams that shine
They're yours and they're mine ♪

♪ Love can come to everyone ♪

♪ The best things
In life they're free ♪

♪ Moon belongs to everyone ♪

♪ The best things in life,
They're free ♪

♪ Stars belong to everyone ♪

♪ They glitter there
For you and me ♪

♪ Flowers in spring
The robin that sings ♪

♪ Sunbeams that shine oh ♪

♪ They're yours and they're mine
y'all ♪

♪ Love can come to everyone ♪

♪ Best things in life
They're free ♪

♪ All of the good things
Every one of the better things ♪

♪ The best, best things in life
They're free ♪
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