17x21 - Echoes

[bunniefuu]

In the sprawling dark of night,

when all is still...
that's when it can be heard...

The Hum...

...a ceaseless, enigmatic tone,

heard only by a gifted few,
its origin unknown.

Electromagnetic energy?

Alien transmission?

Perhaps the echoes of some
distant alternate dimension.

Perhaps even the sound
of our very doom.

If you ask me...

I don't care.

Because I prefer the hum...

...of my tricked-out
IROC Z28!

♪ Unskinny bop ♪
Whoo-hoo!

♪ Just blows me away ♪
Whoo-hoo!

Enjoy the show, my babies!

♪ All night and day ♪

♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪

Steve, I'm gonna tell you
the same thing

I said to Jackie Collins
that one time...

No writing at the table
on barbecue chicken night.

Sorry.
I'm just trying to decide

which school work-study program
to choose.

It's either apprentice

under weatherman Memphis
Storm front at Channel 3 News

or Buckle at his urology clinic.

Sounds like either way you're
gonna be dealing with drips.

Pa-dum, shh!

But which one guarantees me
a good grade?

Which one is certain to put me
on the path to success?

Oh, Steve, no one knows for
certain what the future holds.

I just don't want to end up
being one of those losers

who lives with their parents
as an adult.

Hey!
Sorry. No, no.

W-What I mean is I don't want to
be one of those poor dopes

who lives their whole, sad life
in the town they grew up in.

Hey! So what, you're
too good for us now?

No! I love you guys!
I do!

It's just... I guess I've always
seen more for myself than,

you know... this.

- Hm.
- Hm.

I feel ya, Steve.

Big dreamers
like you and me,

we got to spread
our golden wings.

One day, we hit that open road
and never look back.

Actually, Dad,
when I say "this"...

that includes you.

Roger, quick!

Bring the fainting
divan!

Sorry, Stan.
Already in use.

'Cause one of my personas just
received some shocking news.

Everybody look the other way
for a second.

No.
I already changed anyway.

Walt Whipman,
whip-cr*ck session musician.

I provide the whip-cr*ck sounds

for the many kinds of music
that require them...

"Rawhide" -style
TV Western themes,

Devo cover bands,
and the list goes on and on.

Unfortunately, I earned
something of a reputation

back in the day
for heavy drinking, shaky hands,

and always accidentally whipping
my fellow musicians in the face.

Anyway, I just heard
my old musician pal Roscoe

is now a big-sh*t producer
in Nashville,

which obviously means
that it is... comeback time!

Why is there an ice cream scoop
in my whip holster?

Can we please get back
to my real problem here?

Which one of these work-studies
is the right choice?

Oh, now you're looking
for advice

from your
horrible family?

Seriously.

Just flip a coin,
why don't you?

Maybe that's all I can do.

Does anybody else
hear that hum?

Well,
here goes nothing...

Looks like I'll be taking
my talents to Channel 3.

Great, okay, whatever.
Now...

who's coming with me
on my journey of redemption?

Look...

Up.

Pack your sh*t.
We're going to Nashville.

TV theme plays...

And over there is our star
anchor, Greg Corbin.

Oh, we're
actually neighbors.

Hi, Mr. Corbin!

Me, though,
I'm an open book.

You wanna know anything
about me, just ask.

Well, one thing
I have always wondered...

Is Memphis Storm front
your real name?

Oh my, no.

I sure would've been
a born weatherman

if my name was really
Memphis Storm front.

So what is
your real name?

Toledo Tornado.

I changed it so no one
would find out I'm...

...Italian.

Now whaddya
wanna see next?

Oh, how about
the Doppler?

The Doppler?
Yeah, the Doppler 12,000.

It's up on
the roof, righ...?

Who told you about
the Doppler?

The... announcer

at the beginning
of every news broadcas...

I don't have time right now.
It's actually pretty boring.

It's a safety hazard.
The Doppler's off-limits.

So just get the hell off
my back about it, okay?

- Don't mind him.
- Ahh!

He's weird about
that Doppler.

Oh, hey.

W... What's your name?

Gassup E. Piye.
"Gossipy P.A."

- French-Danish...?
- No.

Memphis has been
on edge lately.

Probably because his forecast
accuracy has been way down.

And he knows
he's on thin ice.

Poor Memphis.

More like
poor you!

Because if Memphis gets the axe,
so does your work-study program.

And it's too late to switch
to Buckle's urology clinic,

because Barry already
took that spot.

That's right.

I'm aware of Barry!

Buh-byeeeeeeeee.

Ahh! Stairs!

Ow! Ooh!

Oh! Ow! Ernngh!

That's gotta hurt.

Get away from me!

And now we turn to
the weather.

What've you got for us,
Memph?

Cold, Greg, and lots of it.

Perfect conditions
for tomorrow's first ever

Langley Classic
Outdoor Hockey Invitational.

So pack an extra set of clamps,
'cause it's gonna be nippy.

The entire starting lineup
of the Roanoke Ice Wasps

is dead because
of your faulty forecast!

And I had thirty bucks
on that game, Toledo.

Mannaggia dio!

The late, great Dickie Dobbins
never had this kind of trouble.

Using the very same
Doppler as you, I might add.

You leave the Doppler
out of this!

You screw up just one
more time, and you'll be...

Does anyone else hear
that humming sound?

No? Nobody?

Out on your ass!

Ha-cha!

You're gonna fire me,
old man?

Well how 'bout
I wick-ah wick-ah!

How 'bout that?

Mr. Storm front,
do you think

after all these
wrong forecasts,

maybe we should
check out the Doppler

to make sure
it's working right?

The Doppler is fine!

Hey, check this out.

Roundhouse!

Ooh! Ow.

It's just, I really don't want
to lose this work-study...

Shhh.

Iss's lissning!

Ssay away from
the Bloppler, kid.

Stay...

away...

Screw this.
I'm checking it out.

The Doppler's not
even plugged in

to the station's
computer system.

He hasn't been using it at all.

Alright,
nothing too out of the...

Oh, my God.

That thing doesn't
forecast the weather.

It shows...

the future.

Then again,
I'm pretty sure I saw

Snot winning Prom King
in there,

so maybe it's just
a bunch of random B.S.

Sure, it was all just part
of a cruel prank

planned by
the popular kids...

And, I have reason to believe,
some of the teachers...

But I'm still just
absolutely over the moon!

Ssay away from
the Bloppler, kid.

What could be so dangerous

about takin' a little peep
into the ol' futuro?

Wh... is this...

the mayor's mansion?

This is...

tomorrow.

Delilah, darling!

I have grand news!

The Sharks are going
to the championship!

The game was such a rout
that I left early and...

What??

Coach Trey?

My best friend?!

Jimmy, it's not
what it looks like!

We're not just resting
in bed together.

Until a few seconds ago
we were having sex, too.

You'll pay for this,
cuckolder!

Just bear with me
one sec.

Jimmuh!
Jimmuh, baybuh, please.

Stop and think!

Oh Jimmuh, baybuh.

It didn't mean nothin'!
Please!

Look at my neck,
it's pleading with you!

Baby, we can talk
about this, Jimmuh!

You don't wanna do this,
Jimmy!

Oh, my God!

I have to do something!

Incredible tip on that
playoff blowout, Steve.

That's just the kind of thing
that can earn a boy

an A plus on his work-study,
if you catch my meaning.

Wink!

Wink wink wink!

Western music playing...

Roscoe, thank you so much
for agreeing to meet me here.

I... didn't.

You and your...

boyfriend?

Followed me in here.

Well, you're looking great,
I'll tell you that.

Except for that...
yuck, on your face.

What happened there?
You...

whipped me,
many years ago...

Oh, God, I was hoping
not to talk shop,

but since
you brought it up,

I'm guessing you've seen my ad
in the country music trades?

Dammit. That's supposed to
say "whip cr*ck."

Well, I was pretty drunk
when I ordered the ad.

But I've cleaned up
since then,

and now I'm totally sober
and ready to lick cr*ck.

You know what
I mean.

Listen, Walt, now I am
about to record

a new Rawhide-style
TV Western theme,

and am in desperate
need of a whip man,

but it's just...
all those faces you whipped.

Now you listen to me,
Race Car.

You have to give
this man another sh*t.

Without second chances,
where would any of us be?

Didn't America give the South a second chance

after the Civil w*r?

Sure, that one turned out
to be a huge mistake,

but the point still stands,
and that point is...

Something about Roger?

Walt.

Whipman.

Whipcrack session
musician.

Alright,
I'll give you one sh*t.

Say, you fellas hear that
strange kinda humming sound?

No.

Here, would you mind covering
your face up with this napkin?

Day after day, just
one hot sports tip

and news scoop
after another.

And now I'm rich!

Rich as
Sir Topham Hatt!

How do you do it,
Steven?

Heh.

J... Just lucky, I guess.
Here.

Help yourself to
a Todd McFarlane figurine.

Oh,
don't mind if I d... ohhh.

Are you alright?

Yeah, just a little...

black ooze.

You've been using it,
haven't you?

Haven't you?

Do you have any idea what forces
you're tampering with?

Forces of good...?

Why do you think I stopped
using the damn thing?

Well, you'll soon find out
for yourself

what it is to be both terrified
and enthralled by it,

to despise and desire it.

You inside of it
and it inside of you.

I gotta go.

Oh, Mommy, oh, Mommy, oh, Mommy.
Here I come, Mommy!

And now our very own
Memphis Storm front

joins us with a look
at the weekend weather.

Memph?

Not all that is old
was once young.

Not all that's forgotten
is gone.

The nameless one,
dreaming of fire, but slumbers,

to awaken some cursed,
blood-wrought dawn.

Sounds like it's gonna be
a hot one.

Stay kooky, Memphis.

Okay, clearly I should not be
tampering with that Doppler.

Well, yeah.

Besides, I'm pretty sure
I've got that A

on my work-study
locked up already,

so I am never using
the Doppler again.

Right after one teensy
little look-see

to make sure
it's an A plus.

Oh, God, my family!

No!

Noooooooo!

Do you mind?

Are you
enjoying the show?

No, God, nooooo!

Listen to me!
Please!

Something terrible
is coming!

Oh, more terrible
than your family?

I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings, okay?

But some kind of monster
is coming,

and it's gonna
k*ll us all!

Please!

We have to get out of here
and try to find someplace safe!

Ahh!

He's gotta have something here
that explains the Doppler,

that monster, all of it.

p*rn,
p*rn...

creepy ancient scroll,
p*rn...

Wait a minute!

Wow, an interview
with Adrien Brody.

I'll just save this
for later.

Wait a minute!

A creepy ancient scroll!

My p*rn!

And scroll.

Ahh!

Mr. Storm front!
Please, no!

Ahh!

God, how I wish he'd never
left me that damned orb.

What is the Doppler,
really?

It isn't
a Doppler at all.

It's some kind of ancient
alien instrument

that Dickie Dobbins found buried
deep beneath the Mojave Desert.

It gave him the ability
to see the future...

The power
of absolute certainty.

Mm, yeah, man's desire
for certainty.

Been kind of
a theme lately.

But in the end...
it k*lled him.

Are you sure he didn't
just die of being...

you know, super old?

He was 32!

But that's what the thing
does to you.

Decays you.
Twists your soul.

So much so that some even
come to want to summon...

The creature.

What is it?

It's a being so terrifying, it's
impossible to even describe.

Face of an eel,
arms like giant squids,

classic dragon's body,
six wobbly baby giraffe legs,

standing an immeasurable
3,097 feet tall!

It is...

B'thazalom,
the Nameless One!

The Nameless One's name
is B'thazalom?

Please don't be a d*ck
about this, okay?

Oh, my God.

The Doppler
and the monster...

B'thazalom
the Nameless.

Uh-huh.
They're linked.

The Doppler has been sending out
these vibrations to it,

waking it up.

I'm impressed.

You're scroll-reading
at a twelfth-grade level.

So the only way to make
certain it stays buried

is to destroy
the Doppler.

Roger sure would've been
handy to have around

for all this
cosmic crap.

He better be doing
something really important.

♪ Racin', pacin', chasin' ♪

♪ Make those dogies hasten ♪

♪ Though your chaps
are chafin' ♪

♪ Gotta bring those
heifers home ♪

♪ Cow driiive ♪

♪ Cow driiive ♪

♪ Take 'em in,
turn 'em out ♪

♪ Round 'em up,
rub 'em down ♪

♪ Take it off,
make 'em shout ♪

♪ Bring a friend,
go to town ♪

♪ Cow driiiiiiiiii... ♪

♪ Cow driiiiiiiiii... ♪

♪ ...iiiiive ♪

Whip cr*ck!

Oh, crap!
Damn it!

Alright, just download an mp3
of a whip and let's go home.

Wait, no, I can do this!

Ahh!

Ahh!

It's defending itself,
Steve!

Blasting your mind with the most
horrible things imaginable!

Ahh!

Ahh!

It's all over.

You don't know
how right you are.

No.

You had it wrong,
Steve.

The orb wasn't waking
the Nameless One.

It was the only thing
keeping it asleep.

I never was able to bring myself
to destroy it,

but then it showed me...

It showed me that
you would do it for me.

And now, thanks to you,
B'thazalom rises!

Aw, A!

You gotta admit,
that's sick as hell.

What have I done?

There's only one true certainty
in this world, Steve...

That eventually,
it must end!

Why, Mr. Storm front?

What's in
all this for you?

Well, I assume I'll be rewarded
with mighty cosmic power...

Ahh!

Natalie, what in the heck
is all that racket out there?

Some kind of behemoth
from beyond time and space,

Dr. Buckle.

Oh,
for the love of Pete...

Oh, thank God!
I'm not too late.

Nooooo!

Steve, get in!

You're alive!

Yeah, after you said
all that crazy stuff,

we decided to pack up the car,
just in case.

And when we didn't find you
at the TV station...

You came back here
to look for me?

Of course we did.
We're your family.

And that's the one thing
you can always be certain of.

I actually voted
to leave you behind.

Oh, God, it's horrible!

My whipping comeback
went horrible!

Hang on, g*ng.

The world may be ending,
but the Smiths

will always live on
to have further adventures.

Or maybe not.

It's too late.

This really is
the end...

of...

everything.

Does anybody else
hear that hum?

Well,
here goes nothing.

Looks like I'll be
taking my talents

to the Buckle Group's Cash
Only Walk-In Urology Center.

I mean, but c'mon.
You gotta do Channel 3.

Buh-bye. See you soon.