01x06 - Jasper Danger

[bunniefuu]

[ Music ]

What are you doing? I'm waiting for a cute girl.

Oh.

That's pretty creepy.

Ooh, ooh.

Here she comes.

Get away, get away, get away.

Whoa.

Hey, monica.

Oh, hi, jasper.

Uh cool skirt.

Thanks.

What are those, flowers? Yeah.

Nice.

Hey, you didn't tell anybody my secret, did you? Of course not.

Look, look, look.

Look.

He's doing it again.

What, jasper? Yeah.

He keeps trying to make that girl monica think he's kid danger.

Oh, man.

Ow.

Are you okay? Yeah.

I just had a rough nigh last night at work.

Really? Was there a lot of danger? Shh.

You know I can't talk about my job.

Ooh, sorry.

He touched her lips.

It's not funny.

He's lying to her.

And now she's got dirty lips.

Come on.

Hey, jasper.

What's poopinin'? Henry.

You guys know monica.

Sure.

Hey, monica.

Hi.

So, dude, trick or treating tonight, you still coming with us? It's okay to say no.

Yeah, I'm coming.

You want to come trick or treating with us? I'd love to come.

Cool.

Just remember a certain captain might need my help tonight.

That's okay.

I like danger.

And danger likes you.

Hey, jasper.

What? Shh.

Hey.

Hey.

Check me out.

Ooh.

What are you? I'm a zombie tennis player.

Cool costume, right? Don't you think zombies are kind of played out? Well, yeah, regular zombies.

That's why I added the whole tennis element.

So, now it's boom fresh.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hey, I think we have another trick or treater! Yes, I heard the doorbell! Trick or treat.

You stole my costume.

Just put the candy in the sack.

Boom, fresh.

Yeah, all right.

Henry, will you help me find my car keys? No thanks.

Hey, interesting costumes.

Thanks.

I'm a garbage man.

And I'm a bag of trash.

And I'm so proud to be your son.

I am so angry.

Whoa.

Who are you supposed to be? I was supposed to be taylor swift.

Well, you don't look very much like taylor swift.

Yeah, because your husband ordered me the wrong costume.

My name is dad.

I'm not talking to you tonight.

That's no the costume you wanted? No.

I told dad to order me a taylor swift costume.

I made a mistake.

And he ordered me this jonathan swift costume.

Who's jonathan swift? Exactly.

He's a very famous 18th century author from ireland.

What? I'm weird because I'm educated? Ooh, we're late for the party.

We've got to go.

I just need my purse.

What? You're going to a party? I thought you were going to take piper trick or treating.

We were.

Now you are.

What? Wait! Sorrygoe out the trash.

That's me.

No! Mom, dad, please don't make me take piper trick or treating! We had a deal! You can't just I love you? [ Car driving away ]

You think I'm happy about it? You just listen to me.

I'm in charge tonigh so you have to show me respect.

Starting now.

Hey, halloweeners.

Have no fear kid danger is here.

Oh my god.

It all just kind of happened.

My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

I wanted an afterschool job.

And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah! I went into this crazy store and me a pretty interesting guy.

I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protec the good citizens of swellview.

You'll call me he turned out to be you know the name.

Captain man.

That's right, henry.

In time, I realized tha being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

He wanted some help.

I needed a sidekick.

I, henry hart pledge to never ever ever tell anyone that I'm captain man's secret sidekick.

It is done.

Now we blow bubbles.

And fight crime.

Feels good.

Call it.

Up the tube! Oh, my boot.

Ah! Stupid jonathan swift.

Way to go, dad.

So, jasper uh, uh, uh.

Tonight you can call me "kid danger.

" Okay, cool.

So, can I ask you something? Sure.

How come your costume doesn't look quite like the real kid danger costume? Oh.

See by wearing this fake costume, no bad guys will ever suspec that I'm the real kid danger.

Oh.

That makes sense, right? Yeah, that tracks.

You guys, come on.

We going trick or treating or what? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay.

Let's start on riverside because rich people give out great candy and then we can go-- [ watch beeping ]

Why is your watch always beeping? It's my boss from junk-n-stuff.

I got to go see what he wants.

I'll go with you.

Right.

No.

We're supposed to go trick or treating.

Hey, I'm going to take monica and go hit the houses on riverside.

Cool.

We'll text you and meet up later.

Okay.

See you.

We better hurry.

Yeah.

Piper, let's go.

No.

I'm not going to your stupid store.

I promised mom and dad I'd watch you tonight.

So, watch me stuff candy in my face.

We'll take you trick or treating right after.

Not acceptable.

If you guys don't take me trick or treating right now, then I'll tell mom and dad-- why'd you do that? She was talking so much.

Now, come on, we go to go see what ray wants.

Grab her feet.

Aw, man.

[ Grunting ]

Happy halloween.

Shabbat shalom.

So when you're kid danger and you and captain man are fighting bad guys, do you ever worry about getting hurt? Nah.

When someone needs a superhero, I don't think, I just do.

That's so yoda.

You really get me.

[ Glass shattering ]

Oh my gosh.

You see that guy? He's breaking into that car.

Maybe we should call the cops.

You don't need the cops.

Why don't i? Because you're kid danger.

Right.

But captain man's not here with me, so it's just one guy.

Go get them, kid danger.

Yeah, I don't know.

You there! Stop what you're doing! Hey you, in the car there! Whoa.

Cool 'stume.

This is not just a 'stume.

I'm I'm the real kid danger.

Cool.

Hand me a screwdriver.

For what? I'm trying to steal part of this car.

Could you check there, in my bag of burglar tools? No, I'm not going to check your bag of tools.

You're you're under arrest, man.

You're hilarious.

Hang on a sec, I'll come out.

Hey aren't you captain man's new little partner? That's kid danger and he's going to rip your face off.

I will handle this.

Will you please just go home? I bet captain man would pay big bucks to get his little kid danger back.

Actually we're like a non-profi crime-fighting team, so I doubt that he would-- [ grunts ]

Ooh, now you're really going to get it.

Please stop helping me.

Can you stop resisting? Come here.

Omar.

Omar, look.

A jelly bean.

Would you like a jelly bean? Here you go.

Oh, yes.

You chew so cutely.

Henry and charlotte.

Happy halloween.

Hey.

What's up? Who is that? Oh, this is my little sister.

And when did you k*ll her? She's not dead.

I just stunned her.

Oh, good.

Will you keep an eye on her while we go talk to ray? Sure.

Cool.

Thanks.

[ Choking ]

Something wrong with omar? Well I just gave him a jelly bean.

And-- your plant just puked on my sister.

Yes.

No more candy for you.

You all right? Yeah, but I think I dropped a noodle.

Ray? Happy halloween.

Look.

I'm a cheer lobster.

Cheer lobster? Is that, like, a thing? Yeah, it's a thing.

Look.

Go team! Please don't boil me or use a tiny fork to remove my flesh and eat me! You look more like a lobster than a cheerleader.

Well, there was no room for lobster boobs.

Why did you beep henry? So you guys could come see my cool costume.

Aw, ray.

I had to zap my little sister to come here.

You k*lled her? No.

I just stunned her.

Wait, I think it was se to stun.

Stun is blue and k*ll is red, right? I don't know.

I can never remember.

Can we please go trick or treating? [ Alarm ringing ]

Uh-oh, trouble.

Shellfish.

What's up, gooch? You just received a video.

From who? From a man who claims to have captured kid danger.

Play the video.

Hey, captain man.

It's your old friend-- pause.

Jeff.

That guy is so stupid.

How do you know him? He's been a petty thief in swellview for years.

I put him in jail, like, a dozen times.

Resume play.

So, guess what? I kidnapped your sidekick.

Aw, please don't be jasper.

Please don't be jasper.

It's going to be jasper.

Take a look.

[ Mumbling ]

It's jasper.

What a surprise twist.

Hey, isn't that kid your friend with the sweaty hands who loves buckets? That's him.

How can that jeff guy think jasper's the real kid danger? Oh, well, see it's because he's a moron.

Oh, and I also kidnapped kid danger's woman.

[ Mumbling ]

Now, if you ever wan to see them again, you better bring me, like a million dollars.

Oh, and I want two big-n-beefys from inside out burger.

With fries.

And don't forge the million dollars.

What? Is that guy insane? Yeah.

Nobody can eat two big-n-beefys.

Not with fries.

Whatever.

Come on, henry.

Let's go rescue your friend.

I I can't go with you.

Why can't you? Because jasper really likes that girl.

So? He made her think that he's kid danger.

So, now if I show up there with you, she's going to know he was lying.

Don't you think jasper should find a girl who likes him for who he really is? You know that's never going to happen.

All right.

I'll go rescue your friend.

Okay.

But when you're there, you got to act like jasper's the real kid danger.

I know how to act.

Good luck.

I don't need luck.

It's jeff.

Up the tube.

Hey I have to go take my nephew to a halloween party.

Later.

Well, I guess I should get you kids some food.

Ow! Sorry.

Ow! Sorry.

I'll go get you guys some corn chips.

I think I left them in my bathroom.

When you get back here, kid danger's going to smash your head in.

She's just joking.

She loves comedy.

Okay, he's out of the room, make your move.

Okay.

Not on me.

Please? Come on, just break through your ropes and go all kid danger on that guy.

But he's so big.

So? You're a superhero.

Sidekick, baby.

That's like a significant notch down from a superhero.

I found the chips.

I don't want-- I don't want that.

Captain man.

Uh-oh.

Dude, the door wasn't even locked.

I know, jeff.

But I don't like you, so I smashed your door.

Well, I don't see any hamburgers.

Where are my big-n-beefys? The only thing you're going to get that's big and beefy will be your cell mate in jail.

Okay, well, when do I ge my million dollars? Okay, you're too stupid to talk to.

Sit.

Hey, kid danger, I was worried about you.

Thanks, boss.

I was worried about you, too.

Well, I knew you didn't need me to take down a petty criminal like jeff.

Oh, yeah.

I was just about to bust ou of those ropes and rain down some pain on that dude.

Okay, kid danger go to it.

Huh? Go show that criminal who's boss.

Yeah, kid danger, go bust him up.

I love it when boys fight.

Okay.

This is what you ge for breaking into people's cars and for kidnapping us on halloween.

[ Grunts ]

Whoa! That was for you, monica.

Way to go, k-d.

Yay, great job, kid danger.

Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, sure.

My boss needs me.

Listen, captain man yes? I'm not really kid danger.

I know that.

Now, don't you think you should tell someone else? But if I tell her the truth, she won't like me anymore.

How old are you, son? 13.

Then you're way too young to be lying to girls.

Okay.

I'll tell her.

Good boy.

All right, I'm going to take this idiot back to jail.

Get up, stupid.

All right, you know what? You are riding my last nerve.

Come on.

Stop that.

Get up.

Okay.

Just get her up.

Careful not to drop her.

Not to what? Drop her.

Okay.

You said drop her.

No, I said-- oh, forget it.

Let's just take her to-- she's waking up.

Yeah.

Because you dropped her.

What happened? You ate some bad candy.

Real bad candy.

Why are you guys so close to my face? There you go.

All free.

Thanks.

So, before, when captain man took you into the kitchen yeah? What were you guys talking about? Well see he gave me a raise.

No way.

Yep.

That's what happened.

I'm really proud of you, kid danger.

Well I earned it.

Henry! I've already answered all your questions.

I want the truth.

Will you just let it go? No.

I don't think I ate any bad candy.

Well, you did.

Well, I'm going to tell mom and dad-- excuse me.

Excuse me, kids? Are you guys trick or treaters or do you live here? Oh, we live here.

Just what do you want? Well, I know it's already after nine, but my kid and I got a late star trick or treating and I was wondering if you're still giving out candy.

Oh, I can check inside and-- wait, shut up.

Your costume are you? Jonathan swift.

I'm jonathan swift.

Cool.

Cool.

Let's hang.

Okay.

Piper! I didn't say you could hang out with-- good luck.

No worries.

I'll keep an eye on the kids.

[ Howling ]