01x12 - Spoiler Alert

[bunniefuu]

[ Sirens wailing ]

[ g*nsh*t ]

Aah! [ Brakes screeching ]

[ Car crashes ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Slashing ]

[ Sighing ]

Aah! Get off.

[ Screaming ]

[ Rattling ]

Piper, please keep it down in there! Don't tell me how to live my life.

[ Growling ]

Whoa! Aah! That show is intense.

My heart's all cramped up.

I'm sweating more than usual.

Use your rag.

Oh yeah, my rag.

Seriously, guys, that was, like, the best episode ever.

True that.

Totally.

But I'm so sad.

Why? Only one more episode lef of walking orange.

And I don't want it to end.

Are you crying? No.

My eyes are just sweating.

Rag.

Oh yeah, my rag.

Hey, I read online that next week's episode is going to-- no, no, no! Please, don't tell us anything abou the series finale.

Don't spoil it.

I was just going to say that after the finale, they're going to rerun the first episode.

Oh.

Oh.

So you can put the pillows down.

Hey! I need one of you to be my cameraman.

What kind of video are you making? The kind that gets me into the man fans.

The man fans? It's a club.

A bunch of fans of captain man.

And kid danger.

Ah.

Ah.

It's really hard to get in.

I tried to join and they wouldn't even take me.

Hey, everyone who's surprised by that, raise your hand.

Ooh look, no one.

Just be careful.

Why? Because that girl who's presiden of the man fans, paula makiato, she's mean.

Well, she said I could join the man fans if I pass my initiation.

Which is? I got to make a video of me eating hair soup.

What kind of soup? Hair.

I got this big bag of I fresh from a barbershop floor.

You can't eat soup with a bunch of hair in it.

Okay, first, the things you say don' matter.

And second, I am going to eat the hair soup so I can join the man fans.

Hold my phone.

And roll video.

Okay.

Go.

Hi, paula makiato.

I want to join your club so much, I'm going to ea a bowl of hair soup.

Can I have some? It all just kind of happened.

My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

I wanted an after-school job.

And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah! I went into this crazy store and me a pretty interesting guy.

I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protec the good citizens of swellview.

Who call me he turned out to be you know the name.

Captain man.

That's right, henry.

In time, I realized tha being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

He wanted some help.

I needed a sidekick.

I, henry hart pledge to never ever ever tell anyone that I'm captain man's secret sidekick.

It is done.

Now we blow bubbles.

And fight crime.

Feels good.

Call it.

Up the tube! Oh, my boot.

Ha! Yeah, baby, series finale of walking orange.

I can't believe we're about to watch the last episode ever.

I know.

Television history.

[ Applause ]

It's television's biggest night the tony awards.

No! I put I on the wrong channel.

There, there, I fix it.

I fix it.

Previously, on walking orange it's happening.

I love this show.

[ Message dinging ]

No.

Oh, no! [ Screaming ]

Just turn it off.

What happened? Why do we not watch walking orange? Why you heave your pizza? Because the spoiler ruined walking orange.

Stupid "the spoiler.

" Who is "the spoiler?" He's this jerky teenager here in swellview.

He finds out what's going to happen on tv shows and movies and then he tells people the ending.

He ruins it for everyone.

Not for me.

I am smart.

I turn my phone off.

Well, yip-dee-doo for you, schwoz.

[ Incoming call alert ]

What, gooch? Do you know what the spoiler did? Ah! Yeah.

He texted all three of us.

No.

He texted everyone in swellview and told them the ending of walking orange.

Don't tell me.

He said that rodriguez k*lled mallory.

Stop it.

And that he's really a cop.

No! Thanks for the info, gooch.

Okay, how'd the spoiler figure out how to send a text message to everyone in swellview? Ah, I don't know.

Anyone with level five computer knowledge could figure out how to do it.

Well, somebody's got to stop the spoiler.

Right.

And that person is us.

You mean those people are us.

You used bad grammar.

Ow! [ Chatter ]

Okay, people.

Listen up.

[ Horn blows ]

All right, let's star this meeting of the man fans.

Wait.

Before we start, can we watch the video one more time? [ All talking at once ]

Absolutely.

I want to join your club so much, I'm going to ea a bowl of hair soup.

Ew.

Hi.

Pretty great video, right? It's an amazing video.

We've watched it, like, 25 times.

Cool.

So, where do I sit? On your butt.

"On my butt.

" That's a good one.

Yeah.

Welcome to the man fans, piper.

[ All talking at once ]

Hey! I'm the presiden of the man fans so I say who gets in and when.

Everyone got that? All: yes.

But you said if I made a video of me eating hair soup I could be a member.

Well, I changed my mind.

But I ate hair.

So? You don't want to know what that hair did to my stomach.

Well, now if you wan to join you have to show us a selfie of you with captain man.

But how am I supposed to find captain man? A real man fan can find him.

Right, guys? [ Crowd murmurs ]

All right.

Well, I am a real man fan, and I will get a selfie with him.

Great.

Now, get out.

I will get out.

Only one chip left.

Race you for it.

Okay.

I'll try.

Hands on the table.

On three.

One-- come on, you little chip snatcher.

[ Incoming call alert ]

Hey, gooch.

What's up? Spoiler alert.

Wait! Don't say anything about the good wife, I'm not caught up yet.

No.

My spoiler aler is about the spoiler.

Oh.

What do you know about the spoiler? We received a tip that he's planning to show up at the swellview monoplex tomorrow at midnight.

Hmm.

I wonder why.

Tomorrow nigh is the worldwide premiere of galaxy wars 9.

Oh my god.

Thanks, gooch.

The spoiler must have inside information about what happens in the movie.

He's going to ruin I for everyone.

Not if you and me stop him.

Not if you and I stop him.

That's what I said.

You said "you and me.

" Okay, who cares? We have grammar rules for a reason.

Hey, guess what? What? Ow! Yeah.

There you go.

You know, I got one, too.

Oh, do you? Ah! Ow! Hey! Ow! Ah! Oh no, not the face! Ah! Not the butt! Ah! Piper? I'm in henry's room! Hey, where's henry? I don't know.

But your text said he needed me fast.

Yeah.

Henry dropped a sock out of the window and he wants you to get it.

Why do I got to get it? Just go get the sock.

Okay.

Yep.

That's a sock.

Hey, what are you doing? Being safe.

If you fall, this rope will keep you from hitting the ground.

I'm not going to fall.

I don't know.

[ Bag pops ]

Ugh! Ah! Ugh.

Help me! Call my mom! [ Alarm beeping ]

Captain man emergency hotline.

What is your situation? My brother's dumb friend fell out of the window and now he's dangling.

Help me! Send captain man.

I'm sorry, but that is not a captain man type of emergency.

Please, call the fire department.

He's not on fire.

Piper? I'm sorry, but we cannot-- wait.

What if I set him on fire? Then will captain man come here? Goodbye.

Dah! But you don't understand.

See-- hey.

Who do you think you are bothering me? I'm busy.

But I tried to get a selfie with captain man.

I had a great plan, but it didn't work.

If you want to join my club, then get a selfie with captain man.

But I don't know where he is.

How do I find him? Meh.

"How do I find him?" Meh.

That's how you sound.

Sorry, I didn't realize.

You see this? That's how much time you have to get a selfie with captain man, or else you'll never join the man fans.

But hey, pipes.

Everything okay? Yes.

I'm not upset.

Now, shut up.

I overheard you talking to that girl from the man fans.

So? Why do you want to join that club so bad? Well, I just think kid danger's really cute.

Ugh, k*ll me.

And every week the man fans get together and talk about stuff tha captain man and kid danger are doing, and I just wan to be part of it.

But how am I going to ge a stupid selfie with captain man? All right, listen.

I read a rumor online that captain man might be going to the galaxy wars premiere tonight.

Really? Where online? They they took it down, but I saw it and it said he was going to be there.

Wait.

Where am I going to get a ticket? Charlotte has an extra one.

I could ask her to take you.

Why are you being nice to me? Because you're my little sister and I I don't know.

Shut up.

Henry, look! I got your sock! [ Chatter ]

Hey.

You find anything? Yeah, I found a great pic-- what's funny? All right.

Seriously.

You're gonna make fun of us.

Knock it off.

Come on.

Enough.

Okay.

So, you're a skynaut? A red skynaut.

And I'm duke starjacker.

Yeah, yeah.

You won't be laughing when we catch the spoiler.

Oh, right.

About the spoiler, here's a new pic of him from a month ago.

Got it.

Hey, and you're going to take piper to the movie tonight? Oh yeah.

It's almost 11:00.

I better go pick her up.

Okay.

We'll see you at the monoplex.

Yep.

What you doing with that popcorn? Putting I in my adventure sack.

You know they sell popcorn at the movie theater.

Yeah, for like a billion dollars.

Okay, let's go, corn smuggler.

Up the tube.

No, my popcorn! Ha! Your sack has a hole in it.

Arg! [ Chatter ]

You see the spoiler? No, not yet.

Red skynaut.

You are the sworn enemy of mento.

Sorry.

We don't speak nerd.

Tranya.

You have insulted my tribe.

Now taste the tassel of tinklon.

Why'd you do that? Mom! A kid just broke my glow bat! How about those two seats right there? Cool.

Hey, hey, hey.

See that girl over there? The one wearing the me button? Yeah.

That's the presiden of our fan club, the man fans.

She's the one who's being really mean to my sister.

Wow.

What? Her button.

That's a fantastic picture of me.

Oh, let's just sit down.

Where do you want to sit? [ Gasps ]

What? That's paula makiato.

Hi, paula.

'Sup paula? Until you get a selfie with captain man, don't talk to me, don't look at me, and don't even think about sitting with us.

Okay.

Sorry.

Okay, I got something to say to that girl.

Shh.

Don't upset her, please.

I need her to like me.

Okay.

But if she looks at me, I'm going to give her one of these.

Hey, I want popcorn.

There's none lef in your adventure sack? You know there's not.

I'll be right back.

Keep an eye ou for the spoiler.

You too.

Excuse me.

Hey, people, listen up! It's the spoiler! He's going to ruin everything! [ Murmuring ]

I got some information about the movie! Ray? So, get this quick, everyone do this! La, la, la.

All: la, la, la.

No, don't do that! Hear me! Hear me! Hey, you! What? Shut up! It's kid danger! Oh my god! We love you, kid danger! Spoiler alert I'm about to spoil you.

Yes! That was the perfect quip! Get out of here! [ Crowd gasps ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Cheering ]

Maybe I'll jus break your arm and then ruin the movie for everyone.

Get your hands off kid danger! [ Screaming ]

It's captain man! [ Cheering ]

Go, piper! Yeah! Well, the spoiler I'm about to spoil-- I already quipped that.

Oh.

Kid danger, can I have a hug? Not right now.

I need to go stand over there.

Move! Captain man, I'm paula makiato, the president of your fan club, the man fans.

I'm awesome.

Yeah, I've heard about you.

What's your name, little girl? Piper hart.

Remember? One time you sho an alien off my face? Oh yeah.

Well, piper hart, you showed extreme bravery by using this glow ba to b*at the spoiler nearly half to death.

Thanks.

I loved it.

And you you just sat there like a pile of nothing.

But but I was going to do something.

Meh.

"I was going to do something.

" That's how you sound.

And now, i, captain man, declare you, piper hart, the new presiden of the man fans.

[ Cheering ]

I'm okay.

Now what do you say we all watch galaxy wars 9? Wait! Wait! As guardian of the throne of krandor, I challenge both captain man and kid danger to the duel--