02x18 - I Know Your Secret

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Henry Danger". Aired: July 26, 2014 - March 21, 2020.*
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
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02x18 - I Know Your Secret

Post by bunniefuu »

- Uhhh, I'm sorry, let me put you on hold again.

- No! No, do NOT put me on hold again! I wanna talk to your supervisor! - One moment please.

- No, no, but I just-- Ahh! [ hold music plays ]

- Who's she upset with now? - Zapathon.

She ordered something and they sent her the wrong thing.

- Hi, this is Lisa, what seems to be the problem? - The problem is that I ordered a pink furry phone case! And you people sent me a spray-tan g*n! - Okay, please read me the serial number located on the bottom of the item.

- Wait a second while I get it outta the stupid box.

- Happy anniversary.

- Oh, baby.

- Uh-huh.

- Okay.

The serial number is: 939-734 - Okay perfect, that is the correct serial number.

Is there anything else I can help you with? - Yeah! I didn't order the spray-tan g*n! - One moment.

- No no, do not put me on-- Ahh! - Wow, it's a flashlight.

- Yeah! Look See how bright it is? - Ugh! Yeah, it's really bright.

- And it's rechargeable, and waterproof and I should go get you a better gift, shouldn't I? - Hurry.

- Hi, I'm back.

- Good, what'd you find out? - Nothing, I just had to blow my nose.

- Ugh! Well, what are we gonna do about this spray-tan g*n? - Is it broken? - No! I mean, I dunno I don't even know how to use one a'these- No, it's not broken.

[ grunting ]

[ kids chattering ]

- Uh, why are you up on that ladder? - Throwing darts at our ceiling? - 'Cause some kid let a balloon float up there, and I mean to get it down.

- Well Isn't there a safer way to get a balloon down? - Hey, I don't tell you how to be a snotty kid.

- And it should not do that.

- Oh, 'sup peoples? - Hey, Hen.

- Hi, Henry.

- Hey, are you doing anything after school? - Yep, I'm workin' on my black belt.

- Your black belt? - I didn't know you were taking karate.

- I'm not.

I'm taking a belt-making class.

All I have left to do is punch the holes and add the buckle.

- Man.

- Wow.

Y'know, I bet Charlotte would love a new hand-made belt.

- And you'd lose that bet.

- Well, I'll totally make you a belt! - No, no, I have plenty of belts and I-- - Here! I just need to measure your waist.

- Nuh- uh, I don't want you to meas-- - No seriously, it's fine.

- I got this.

- Boosh! - Okay, let's see how big around you are - Okay, no girl would like this.

- There! I'm gonna make you a new belt with a giant flower buckle on it that says girl power! - No, no, there's no need.

- Good idea.

- Tee hee.

- Yeah, you think you're real cute.

Well, maybe I'll tell that girl Amy in science class that you have a crush on her, and then she'll make you a necklace made outta-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

- What? - Someone left this note in my locker.

- Well, what's it say? - It says, "I know your secret.

I know what you did on Wednesday night.

" - What secret? - I I only have one secret.

That I'm Kid Danger.

- Uh-oh.

- Yeah.

Wait, what was I doing on Wednesday night? - Uh oh You and Ray stopped those three armed men from robbing the supermarket.

- Naw, we never fought any guys with three arms.

- No, three men who were armed.

- Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then that proves that whoever wrote this note knows I'm Kid Danger.

Oh, this is bad.

This is bad.

- Real bad.

- We gotta tell Ray that someone knows my secret identity.

- Boosh! - Oww! Who dropped this dart in my flesh? Oww! Can somebody come pull this outta me? - Uh, naw-- - Gotta go over there.

- It all just kind of happened.

- My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

- I wanted an afterschool job.

- And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah! - I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.

- I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview who call me - And he turned out to be - You know the name.

- Captain Man! - That's right, Henry.

In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

- He wanted some help.

- I needed a sidekick.

- I, Henry Hart - Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone - That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.

- It is done.

- Now we blow bubbles.

- And fight crime.

- Feels good.

- Call it.

- Up the tube! Oh, my boot.

- Ha! [ music ]

- And you're a hundred percent sure you didn't tell anyone? - I told nobody.

- Well Did you send any emails, or text messages where you mentioned that you're Kid Danger? - Oh, wait, no, yeah last week I did stand on my roof naked and yell, "Hey! Everybody! Look at me! I'm Henry Hart and I'm Kid Danger! " - You did that naked? - No, I didn't do it at all! - Oh, you're joking? - Yeah.

- This is joke time for you? Okay, I'm sorry Are you Jimmy Fallon? Hey, later on, are you going to get some tacos with QuestLove? - I don't know why you're mad at me.

- Dude, if anyone knows that you're Kid Danger, they can follow you here.

They can come down here and figure out that I'm Captain Man! - Oh, so this is all about you? - No.

It's mostly about me.

[ machine beeps ]

- Ah! I got it! I got something! - What'd you find? - Yeah yeah, what'd ya find, what'd ya find? - I scanned this note with this bio-metric particle scanner - Right.

- Right.

- Now you'll see.

On this note I found some DNA.

- D-GEN-EYES? - DNA! - Oh.

- And The person who created this note is Henry Hart.

- What? - Dude Of course my DNA is on the note! I brought it here! It was in my hands! - Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

[ spraying ]

- Oh, oh - What is goin' on? - Oh yeah! I'm ready for Hollywood! - Mrs.

Hendricks, you're up.

Get in the tent and take your robe off.

- Oh, I will! - Okay, Piper? Piper, what is happening in our house? - I'm giving people spray tans.

- Why? - 'Cause most spray tan places charge 50 bucks.

- Piper does it for 20.

- That's right.

- Mom, Dad, are you really gonna-- Okay, what are you wearing? - Oh, it's our anniversary, so we're wearing the exact same clothes we wore on our first date.

- It was my idea.

- Yeah, I figured.

Are you seriously letting Piper run a tanning salon in here? - Yeah, why not? - It keeps her from screaming at us.

[ funk music plays ]

- Girl you know I love ya Oh baby And I really wanna show you how I'm gonna smooch you now - Whoa! - Oh wow! If this doesn't get my husband to forget about his toy trains, I don't know what will! - Yeah, he's a lucky man.

- Okay, I got a ton a'homework to do.

- Yeah, I know, me, too.

- Oh, and remember, stay on guard-- you don't know who it is out there that knows that you're Kid Danger.

- Right.

- Hey, can I have a sip of that? - Nah.

- Girl, you know I love ya - That's right, Henry, I know.

[ music ]

[ glass shatters ]

- Uhhh [ stammering ]

- Y'know you're not saying actual words.

- So, you left the note in my locker.

- Uh-huh.

'Cause I know your secret.

- Oh man.

- C'mon, Hen, how long did you think you could keep that kind of secret from your best friend? - Oh, Charlotte knows.

- I meant me.

- Oh, right, right, I-I didn't mean-- - Wait-- Charlotte knows? - Okay, look! You can't tell anyone about this, ever.

As my friend, you gotta promise never to tell anyone.

- Uh, if we're such good friends, how come I had to find out the truth about you in the streets? - 'Cause I I was I - Still not words.

- Ah! - It's even on my hands.

- Okay, if you're waiting to be spray-tanned, hang out in the couch area.

If you've already been spray-tanned, wait on the stairs over there 'til ya dry out.

- Hey what's that? - Just lemonade.

- Ah, perfect.

- So, don't you love how busted Henry is? - Wha-- what do you mean? - Jasper found out! Y'know Henry's secret? - Wait! You know about it? - Sure.

- How? - Jasper told me.

Henry shoulda waited for Jasper to go see that movie.

- Whoa, wait wait What movie? - Henry promised Jasper that he'd go see Galaxy Wars 10 with him on Saturday night.

- Yeah? - But my mom was dying to see it on opening night, so she took Henry with her to see it on Wednesday, and then Jasper found out.

- And Jasper thinks that's Henry's secret? That he saw Galaxy Wars 10 without him? - Yeah.

What? What other secret does Henry have? - I dunno, none, nothing, I dunno! What? - I woulda told you, but-- - I don't need to hear a bunch of excuses.

- No, I just need you to understand why-- [ watch beeps ]

- Well I guess I don't need to hide this from you anymore.

- Hey, it's me.

- Hey Kid, we have a little emergency.

- Yeah, no kidding.

- It looks like the Malachi Brothers broke out of jail, and they're headed for the demolition derby.

- Oh, okay.

Meet you in the Man Cave? - Nah, I'll hop in the Man Copter and I'll pick you up on the way to the derby.

- Copy that.

- Th that was Captain Man! As a hologram! Calling you! - Yeah.

- So Jasper left the note in Henry's locker.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh man, I gotta go tell Henry! - Wait! - What? - I'm done with this glass.

- Henry! - But I still don't understand how you were talking to a hologram of Captain Man on your own watch.

- Yeah, I don't really know how it works.

Schwoz does.

You can ask him.

- What's a Schwoz? Wait, what's that? - I'm gonna blow a bubble.

- You're gonna blow a bubble? - I'm gonna blow your mind.

- How do I look? Good? - Jasper left the note! - I know.

- But Hi, Jasper! Why is Jasper's mouth hangin' open? And why are you dressed like that in front of Jasper? - You're Kid Danger? - Yeah, you knew that.

You were the one who-- Oh.

Jasper fell asleep.

- No, he fainted! - Well, why? - Because he didn't know that you're Kid Danger! He thought that your secret was that you saw Galaxy Wars 10 without him! - Well, how'd he find that out? - Who cares? You just showed Japser that you're Kid Danger! - Ah geez! - What are we gonna do? - I don't-- - [ phone beeps ]

- Ah! - It's Ray.

- I know it's Ray! - Hey.

- Hey, it's me, Ray.

- I know it's Ray! - The cops captured the Malachi Brothers, so there's no more emergency.

- Eh, maybe there is.

- Wh what does that mean? - Just-- you better come over here.

- And bring the memory wiper! [ groans ]

- So you ready for your anniversary present? - Right here? - Yep, but it's in the garage.

I'll go get it.

- Okay, people, I'm gonna take a quick bathroom break.

[ groaning ]

- Hey, how's it goin'? - Hold this, would ya? - Sure.

[ doorbell rings ]

- I'll get that.

Oh, hello.

You here for a tan? - No.

Are you running an illegal tanning salon here? - No.

Oh, no.

- Well, you just offered me a tan.

And you're holding a spray-tan g*n.

And your house is full of people with fake tans.

- Whaddaya mean? - I mean it's illegal to run a tanning salon without a license.

- Am I under arrest? - Yep.

- All right.

- Y'know today's my wedding anniversary.

- Happy anniversary.

- You took an oath.

- It's not my fault! - It was your job to make sure-- - I know that! It was just a weird misunderstanding! - Hey! Jasper's regaining consciousness.

- Look It's just way too dangerous to let anyone else know who we are, or where the Man Cave is.

And that means We have to erase Jasper's memory.

- But when you zap someone's brain with that thing, doesn't it erase all their memories? - Well, not all.

I mean, he'll still remember how to breathe and eat and that's about it.

[ groans ]

- Hey, can I Can I at least have a few minutes alone with him, before you, you know, wipe his brain? I mean we've been friends ever since we were five.

- Yeah, sure thing, kid.

- Thank you.

- Where do you want us to go? - The closet? - The closet? - Yep, get in the closet.

Come on.

Come on.

There you go.

[ groans ]

- What happened? - I uh I zapped you.

Accidentally.

- Wow.

I can't believe this.

My best friend is Kid Danger.

- Dude, listen.

I wanted to tell you a long time ago.

But I took an oath.

- I totally get it.

- Thanks.

And y'know, it's Give me a minute.

- Well, hurry up! - Who - Eh.

- Hey Remember this? - Sure! You and me at Camp Tomahawk.

- Yep.

We were cute, huh? - Hey, remember that time at the archery range? When Billy Brody started beatin' me up, and you jumped in to help me? - Yep, and then we both got b*at up.

[ laughing ]

[ Jasper sighs ]

- I'll never forget that.

- Well - You've always been a good friend to me Kid Danger.

I'm proud of you.

- That's it.

Ray, Charlotte, get out here.

- Captain Man! Wow, he's right here in your room.

- I'm here, too.

- Yeah, uh-huh.

- We're not doin' this.

- We have to do it.

- No, I'm not letting you erase Jasper's brain.

- Uh, what? - Don't worry about it.

- He could tell anyone, even if he doesn't mean to! - I'll never tell anybody! - Oh really? What if some big bad evil criminal captures you and threatens to cut all your toes off if you don't tell 'em everything you know! - I'd tell him everything I know.

- Dude! - My toes! What am I without my toes? - Henry, he's a security risk.

- No, we leave Jasper the way he is or else I can't be Kid Danger anymore.

- Henry - You're not gonna quit being Kid Danger.

- I don't wanna quit.

But if you're gonna erase all the memories from my oldest friend's brain then Then I don't want this anymore.

- Ah, put that back in your pants.

- Wait, does that mean you're saying-- - Yes, yes, yes.

Jasper can keep his stupid brain the way it is.

- Really? - Yes, I've said yes five times now.

- Wow, this is amazing! - Just take it easy.

- Ooh! I can even help you fight bad guys and stuff! - Uhhh - I don't think - That's not a good - Oh c'mon! It's my dream! - Oh.

Sorry, I just got a tan downstairs and I was looking for the bathroom, and I thought - Whoa! Captain Man? And Kid Danger without his mask! You're Piper's brother! - Uh, well - Whoa! Wait 'til I tell everyone I know! - You gonna whine about this one? - Nah, do it.

[ mumbles ]

- Hey, what's your name? [ moans ]

- All right, Jasper, you really wanna help us out? - Sure! - Good.

Take this guy out the window, leave him on the sidewalk.

- Aye aye, Captain Man! [ grunts ]
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