01x06 - This Looks Like a Job For...

[bunniefuu]

- Here is your blanket,
father.

- And a pillow
for your head, papa.

- Ooh, thank you.

Oh, the remote.

Ugh, I can't reach it.

If only there was someone
who cared for me.

- Here you go.

And remember, I love you
way more than Phoebe does.

- That's not what it says
on this mug I made you.

- Oh!

Phoebe loves me most.

Mugs don't lie, Max.

See, Barb,
I told you having kids

would eventually
come in handy.

- Totally worth the wait.

Hank, you know they're just
buttering you up for money.

- No way!
- What's money?

- I know what
they're doing, Barb.

Listen, kids,
if you want something,

you know you can always
come to me.

BOTH: I need money
for a new phone!

- Absolutely not.
Never come to me again.

- You both have
perfectly good phones.

- These are not phones.

All we can do
is talk on them.

- The mephone has apps
that'll help me

finish my homework quicker,
a holographic keyboard.

- A laser pointer
for messing with cats.

- [chuckles]
Cats are funny.

- And all it costs is $.

[laughter]

- There's no way both of you
are getting $.

- It's cheaper than those
shoes you have on.

- Ah, you save the world,

you can spend as much
as you want on shoes.

- Look, you guys
are old enough

to pay for your own phones.

- That's so much money!

I mean,
it's not that much money.

- Maybe it's time you guys

do what typical,
non-supe teenagers do.

- Take money out of your wallet
when you're not looking?

- No, get jobs.

And give me my wallet back.

- Come on, dad.
I just clipped your toenails.

- And I froze off
your plantar's wart.

- Sorry, kids.
You got played.

Oh, you have got
to see my feet, Barb.

These kids are gifted.

[dramatic music]

- ♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're livin'
our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- [British accent]
Observe the nerd

In her natural habitat.

We can only hope
she migrates south

and stays there.

- [British accent]
Observe the jealous brother--

[normal voice] Ugh, I don't
have time for goofy accents.

I'm going to work.

- [normal voice]
Wait, you already got a job?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, I will after my interview
at Wong's Pizza Palace.

Which means I'm closer to
finding a job than you are.

Unless the couch
is hiring.

Max?

Max!

BOTH: Hello, I'd like
to apply for the job!

- Wait, you're Mrs. Wong,
right?

- No, I just
bought this T-shirt

because it matches my face.

Of course I'm Mrs. Wong!

Wait here.

I have two job openings

and three dummies
to interview.

- Wait, three?

- You two and bobblehead
over there.

- Tyler?

- You guys are applying
for jobs together?

All you ever do is argue.

- No, we don't.
- Yes, we do.

- No, we don't!
Stop it--what are you--

- ugh!

- But don't worry
about working together,

'cause there's only room
for one of you.

Oh, and just so we're clear.

What I meant was
I'm getting the other job.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we got it.

- Well, looks like
this job is mine.

I'm better than you
at everything,

and Tyler's never getting
all this under a hairnet.

- Please, if anyone's
getting this job, it's me.

I'm dressed for success,

and you look like
you buy your clothes

at the bus station
lost and found.

- Easy fix.

Ah.

- Looks a little tight.

- Thanks, I've been
working out.

- So, Phoebe,
what would make you

a good pizza palace
employee?

- I think this -minute
digital presentation

speaks for itself.

Could you get the lights?

- So you don't have
any work experience?

- Why would you assume that?

- Because under
"work experience"

you put, "yes, please."

- I have a lot of experience
in the canine ambulatory sector.

- Dumb it down, toots.

- I walk dogs.

- The job starts
at minimum wage.

You okay with that?

- Interesting offer.

I have a counterproposal.

Bam!

- [laughs]

How would you improve
this restaurant?

- Mechanical bull.

- Hmm.

Go on.

Quite frankly,
I don't want

to spend time
with any of you.

But I need cooks,

so, Phoebe and Tyler,
you got it.

- Whoo-hoo! Yes!
Thank you so much.

I won't disappoint you.

- Yeah, me neither.

[sneezes]

- You're fired.

Job is yours, mark.

- Max.
- You want the job or not?

- Mark it is.

[sobs]

- Are you crying?
It's just a job.

- No, it's the jacket.
It's just so tight.

- On your mark,
get set,

go!

- Done, coach.

- Half a second?

You're slacking, kid.

Do a lap!

- Paris is lovely
this time of year.

- Hey, guys.

What are you up to?

- Sport stacking.

You up-stack the cups,

and then you down-stack 'em.

- Is this a game
or a chore?

- It's just a game.

We're not playing it
for any reason.

- I thought we were gonna win

some sweet, sweet cash
in the tournament.

- Remember what I said
after I explained the plan?

- Uh, don't tell mom and dad.

- Billy, meet mom and dad.

- Kiss that tournament
good-bye.

You can't use
your powers to win.

- There goes
my pet monkey.

- This looks
like fun, Hank.

Let's, uh--
let's give it a sh*t.

- You're on.

Now I'll warn you,
I'm pretty great at everything.

So don't be too hard
on yourself.

- On your mark,
get set, go.

Done!
How'd you do, Hank?

- This game's stupid.

- Right, uh, who wants
to race mommy?

- Sorry, but if
you think it's cool,

it's probably
not anymore.

- You guys are looking
at the two newest pizza artists

at Wong's pizza palace.

- Congratulations!

- You both got a job
at the same place?

- Yeah, until Max
gets fired.

- How do I put this?

You two are like
peanut butter and tuna,

great individually,

but together, ugh,
not so much.

- Actually, Barb,
pb&ts are--

- making a point, Hank.

- We'll be fine, mom.

- Oh, uh, kids, is there--

- yes, dad,
there's a family discount.

- That's not
what I was gonna say!

But it's what
I wanted to hear.

- And this
is my prized possession,

the wong-za .

Makes a perfect pizza.

Unlike my four lazy sons.

"ooh, we wanna be doctors."

Ugh, losers.

- Whoa, does this thing
make pizzas or scan luggage?

- Yes.

Now pay attention.

- Is there gonna be a quiz?

- Of course.

The first question is:
No questions!

Now running a kitchen
is like a symphony,

and all my employees
must play in perfect harmony.

Let's start
with the medium pizza.

First we pound it.

This is important because
it opens up the crust

so love can get in.

- That's beautiful.

- By love,
I mean expired tomato sauce.

Next, Max spreads the sauce.

Then Phoebe sprinkles
on the cheese.

And finally Max
puts on the toppings.

Perfect harmony.
Got it?

- Yeah, you're not really
paying us enough

to memorize things.

- Pound, sauce, cheese,
toppings, got it.

- Good.

Now make me a medium pizza

with pepperoni, mushrooms,
and black olives.

I'll be right back.

And remember, harmony!

- Wait, what do I do next?

- You do toppings.

You can't just be throwing
pepperoni all willy-nilly.

- [Italian accent] Hey, I'Ma
trying to make a pizza here!

- Give me that.

- No, Phoebe, give me that.

It's my pizza.
I was making--

- what are you doing?

- [Italian accent]
Now look at what'a happened?

- Hey, Barb.

- Not doing anything.

- I saw you.
You're good.

You should sign up
for this tourney

that Billy
was gonna do.

It says "all ages."

It is kinda fun!

- That's the spirit.

Haven't seen
this look in your eye

since our superhero days.

Ooh, I'll be your coach.

- Okay, thanks, Hank.

- Let's get to work, rookie!

- Now?

- Less talky,
more stacky.

- Okay, I was just gonna
make us some lunch.

- Ooh, PB&Ts?

I cannot stop
thinking about those.

- Clearly we can't
work together,

but with me here
and you there,

this is working out great.

- Well, at least this way

no one's gonna
be dropping pizzas.

[loud crash]

But they will
be dropping plates.

- What is this cart
doing here?

- I moved a few things so that
Max and I could work separately.

- Separately?

That makes
for bad pizza harmony.

Where is my chopping block?

- Uh, right here.

- Good.

Now I can put
your head on it.

- Don't.
Don't worry, Mrs. Wong.

Unlike Phoebe's bad idea,
I had a good one.

- Ugh.
- Where's the manager?

- Promise me you didn't
do something stupid.

- I don't make promises,
Phoebe.

I make pizzas.

- Is there a problem sir?

- I found this fortune
in the crust.

- "Some stuff will happen."

that's your great idea,
lame fortunes in pizzas?

- To be fair, those things are
harder to write than you think.

- Well, here's your fortune.
You're fired!

- Looks like only one of us
is getting a new phone.

- Ring, ring.

Pick up, it's for you.

- Hello.

- You're fired too!

- Oh!

I knew I shouldn't
have answered it.

- Wait, miss Wong,
please don't fire us.

- Too late!
Have a nice life!

- But you already
trained us.

It'll take a whole day to find
someone new and train them.

- Phoebe's right.
We're already here.

And we're super
afraid of you now.

- Hmm, I do like fear.

Okay, one more chance.

But you have
to do it my way, together.

Harmony!

How many times
do I have to yell it?

Ow!

Ugh!

- I think she's
warming up to us.

- Look at all these people.

Every one of them
a potential loser.

- All right, Billy,
we need to ditch them

before they start their
synchronized squat thrusting.

- Too late.

- Which of you two
is stacking?

- Oh, that would be me.

- Aren't you kind of old
for everything?

- Oh, aren't you cute?

What's your name, sweetie?

- If you wanna know
my name so bad,

check last year's trophy.

- It's Avery.
Her name's Avery, Barb.

- Hey, is that your mom going
up against my brother?

I'll be my allowance
she's gonna lose.

- Oh, really?

Then show me the green,
prep school.

[horn sounds]

- Whoo!

I just won my first round!

- Ooh, yeah!

What are you gonna do

when Barb
stacks cups on you?

- Ah!

- Cough it up.

- I'd do what she says.

Don't let the flower fool you.

- All right, we have to work
together to get this baby.

Remember, there's no "me"
in mephone.

Well, okay, there is,
but you know what I mean.

- You quit yammering,
I'll get to hammering.

- Don't do that.

We can't get caught
using superpowers.

If we find a way
to work in harmony,

then we don't need
our powers to be super.

- Wow, and I thought
these pizzas were cheesy.

- Bump it, Max.

Bump it.

Great, start 'er up.

- Pound.

- Sauce.

- Cheese.

- And toppings.

Yes!

♪ Pizza ♪

- ♪ Pizza ♪

- ♪ No, this is my note,
not yours ♪

- ♪ No, you're supposed
to be down here ♪

- ♪ No, I'm here,
you're supposed to be here ♪

♪ Would you stop arguing
with me all the time ♪

- ♪ You're the one
who started it ♪

- ♪ No, I wasn't ♪

[phone rings]

- Wong's pizza palace,
no order's too big.

pizzas?

That order's way too big.

- Hold please.

- Max, I don't know
what you're up to,

but we should wait
for miss Wong

to get back
from her deliveries.

- Phoebe, if we take
this order,

we can make all our phone
money in one sh*t.

And it's so long, Wong.

- The cooks don't get
the money, Max.

- These cooks will.

Hello, this is Max,
the manager.

Oh, and we can do
pizzas.

We just need to tack on
our P.A.F.,

pizza artist fee.

Yeah, $.

Seriously, you'll pay it?

I mean, uh, great.

See you in minutes.

- You are totally
getting us fired.

- Oh, come on, Phoebe.
We're team Thunderman.

We'll turn this wong-za up
and crank these pizzas out.

Bump it, Phoebe.

Bump it.

Oh, yeah!

[whistle blows]
- Yes!

- You're in the finals, Barb.

- I can't believe this.

Thank you so much for
pushing me to do this.

I'm having so much fun.

- So are we.
We're totally cleaning up.

- The tables over there,

'cause Billy made a mess.

- A mess of money.

- Just stop talking!

- Here comes Avery.

Just be cool.
Be cool, Barb.

What up, a-dog?

- Hi, Avery.

Looks like
we're in the finals.

- I'm in the finals.
You're in my way.

- Let me at her.

- Okay, now hold on, Hank.

Avery, I am in the finals
for a reason.

You're looking at
the knick-knack stack att*ck.

- Oh, careful of that hip.

- Okay, I don't think
I like her very much.

- Listen, Barb,
you're a superhero.

You've saved the world from
the worst villains out there.

You just think of her as
a smaller version of them.

- You know,
you're right, Hank.

- Of course I am.
Squash her like a bug.

- You're right about
me being a superhero,

and superheroes
help people.

And I'm gonna help that
little girl

be the best
that she can be.

- Hey, grandma, cup up.

- That's it,
she's going down!

- Go, Barb!

Make the streets run
salty with her tears!

Too much?
I'll take it down a notch.

[horn sounds]

- Boo-yah!

Two-time champ!

Whoo-hoo!

- Well, I gave it my best.
Right, Hank?

Hank?

- Hank Thunderman.

Hey, a-dog,
with my coaching,

I think we could
really take this--

okay.

- All right,
just heightened the torque,

so should make it faster.

Start it up.

pizzas.
Let's do it.

- All right,
here they come.

- Pound.

- Sauce.

- Cheese.

- Toppings.

Ah-ha,
we're doing it.

- See, I told you
we'd be fine.

- Did this thing
just speed up?

- We're in the pizza zone,
Phoebe.

Ride the wave.

- I'm trying.

- Okay, here we go.
I got it.

Oh, gosh.

- Ahh!
It's too fast, Max.

Slow it down!

- It won't stop.

- Ahh!

Ah!

There's too many!
Don't let them hit the floor.

- Okay.

- Ahh!

- Ahh!

- No!
Aghh!

I've got an idea!

That should hold it.

- Good thinking.

[alarm sounds]

[rumbling]

- Oh, no.

[Italian accent]
It'sa gonna blow!

- I'm back.

[loud rumbling]

Uh-oh.

[loud bang]

Phoebe, Max,
where are you?

- Right here, Mrs. Wong.

- Oh, there you are.

You're fired!

- I have a counterproposal.

- Get out!

- Fair enough!

- Well, we got fired twice.

- Blew up a kitchen.

- And covered an angry woman
in dough.

- Guess you could say
we make a pretty good team.

- I know.

These phones are cray-cray.

Am I right?

- Totes.

It sounds like
you're right next to me.

- How did you guys
get new mephones?

- Hold on.

Do you mind?
I'm on a call.

- Where'd you guys
get the money for those?

Mom and dad give it to you?

- Uh, sorta.

- Are we really gonna bet
all this money on mom?

- No way.
Avery's gonna cream her.

- Good.
We're on the same page.

- We're letting it ride
on the little girl!

- Who's got action?

[overlapping shouting]

- Wait, you guys won those
betting on sport stacking?

I'm not sure
mom and dad would approve.

- I think we'll just
hold on to these for you.

- You know, so mom and dad
don't find out.

- If we can't have them...

Then no one can.

- Come on, Nora.
Let's go monkey shopping.