01x07 - Weekend Guest

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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01x07 - Weekend Guest

Post by bunniefuu »

- Who wants to see
something awesome?

- I love awesome things!
- I love them more!

- It's a very rare
and exotic plant.

- Phoebe doesn't know
what "awesome" means.

- It's a Limpopo fly trap.

My science teacher chose me
to take care of it

for the weekend.
it's a huge honor.

- Why do they call it
a fly trap?

[fly buzzing]

- That's why.

BOTH: Cool!

- I bet it could eat anything.

- Yeah, it's like
the plant version of dad.

- That is pretty awesome.

I wonder what else
it can scarf down.

Let's try some pudding.

- No.
And please don't touch it.

It's on a special diet
of flies and rationed water,

and it's my responsibility.

If anything happens to it,
I'll be--

hey, where's the plant?

- Whoa!

Come on, Phoebe,
it's been my lifelong dream

to see a plant
eat weird stuff.

- Since when?

- Since I found out
there was a plant

that could eat weird stuff.

- Well, no one is touching this
except me...

And a few unsuspecting flies.

- So you guys want to see
the plant eat stuff?

- No way, Phoebe said
we can't touch it.

- All right, she can't hear you.
What's your real answer?

- I want to see it
chow down on Billy!

- Yeah!

Wait.

Okay!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're livin' our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- You've lasered an apple off
of someone's head before, right?

- Nope.

- Nora, don't laser
your brother.

- But he likes it.
Right, Billy?

- I kinda do.

- Thank you.

- This isn't over, Phoebe.
I will feed that plant.

Whoa, dad's fancy black suit.
Who d*ed?

- Your mother's old uncle,
Wilfred.

- Awkward.

- Remember,
we're going to metroburg

for his will reading?

- After a long life
fighting crime

as the all American blob,
he's leaving your mother

his "greatest treasure,"
and we have to see what it is.

- I mean,
not that it matters.

No amount of money
could replace him.

- Unless it's
his ginormous yacht!

- Hank, that's insensitive.

We want
the ginormous mansion!

[laughs]

- And which stage of grief
is this?

- We'll only be gone one night,
so there's no reason

for you children
to miss us much. [squeals]

- Help me.
can't breathe.

- Don't worry about us.
We're superheroes.

We look out for each other.

Try it,
and I'll kabob you.

- And no fighting.

We're gonna be checking in
on you,

and if guys
aren't getting along,

I will fly back here
and drop some thunder on you.

- Wait, just one more hug!

- Your turn!
- Oh.

- One...Two...

Three drops for dinner.
That's all you're allowed.

You are so cute.

I'd kiss you
if you didn't have fly breath.

[gasps]
You need a name.

How 'bout...Trevor?

Oh, don't worry, Trevor, I won't
leave your side for anything.

- Phoebe!
Cole Campbell's on the phone!

- Sweet cheese!
Later, Trevor!

Hi, Cole.

- [deep voice] Hey, Phoebe.
I'm handsome and want to go

on a million billion dates
with you.

- [deep voice]
Yeah, baby.

[both laughing]

- [clears throat]

- Uh, I'll call you back.

- What are you guys up to?

[gasps]
Max!

Not so fast.
Give me back Trevor!

- You named
your plant Trevor?

- He looks more like a Paul.
- I like Fernando.

[spanish accent]
Fernando.

- His name is Trevor, and
no one's feeding him anything!

- Well, you heard her.

We're not feeding anything
to Trevor.

- But we can feed...
[Spanish accent] Fernando.

[spy music]

♪ ♪

- Can I help you?

BOTH: Aah!

- We were just here to,
uh--

- look for my red pencil.

Here it is.

- That's a green pencil.

- [chuckles] Let's not get
hung up on colors.

See ya.
- Hey!

You're coming with me.

Max!

I can't believe you dragged
Billy and Nora into this.

- Really?
You can't believe

I'd do anything
to pursue my selfish goals?

- You're right,
I totally believe it.

- None of this would've happened
if you just let us

feed the plant some cool stuff.
- [scoffs]

[overlapping shouting]

[alarm sounding]

- Alert. alert.
parental transmission.

- [shushing]
- Come on! Come quick!

- Hi!

ALL: Hey, mom and dad.

- We're just calling
to check in.

How's everyone doing?

- Good, just watching
some family-friendly movies.

- Yup, spending quality time
together.

- And definitely not fighting.

- I hope not,
or I will fly back there.

- Why are Billy and Nora dressed
like they're gonna rob a museum?

- Uh...We were just--

- mourning poor uncle Wilmer.
- Wilfred.

- He's gone too?

Our uncles are dropping
like flies.

- Well, gotta go.

Want to keep the line open
in case you want to call again.

Bye.
- Bye.

- What?
Eh, wait, wait, wait.

- You are not feeding anything
to Trevor, and that's final!

- Well, not even
these jalapeno peppers?

- No!

- Well, if no one's gonna
have them, then I guess--

- No, Billy.
- Not so fast.

- And one last drop
for dessert.

Enjoy it,
'cause you can't have any more.

[gasps] Ooh,
how about I read you

A little fine literature?

Abs of Steel:
The Channing Tatum Story.


Trevor?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!

- All right, new plan.

Nora, you laser a hole
in the ceiling.

I'll float Billy
inside Phoebe's room.

He'll super speed,
grab the plant, and get out.

We rendezvous in Cleveland,

start feeding it firecrackers
and patio furniture.

- Guys,
I spilled water on Trevor,

and now I think he's dead!

By the way,

Cleveland is the first place
I'd look for you.

- I told you
we should've gone to Miami.

- Guys, this is serious.

My teacher chose me
to watch her favorite plant,

and I let it die.
Max, you gotta help me.

- I don't know, Phoebe.
You're asking a lot.

It's not like I'm some sort
of crazy, mad scientist.

[laughs maniacally]
[spooky organ music]

- Is this just some excuse
to wear a silly costume?

- No, but this is.

Assistants!

- My hump itches.

- Well, that's too bad,
because I look fabulous.

- Don't worry, Max.

It's not like I wanted
to wear a fun costume.

- Okay, how about less dress-up,
more plant fixing?

- All right, let's begin.

Essence of moonray.
- Yes, master.

- Growth hormone.
- Yes, master.

- Eye of newt.
- Gross, master.

- All right, before I do this,
you promise

if I bring it back to life,
I can feed it whatever I want?

- Yes, just do it!

[spooky organ music]

- Here goes nothing.

It's alive.

Alive!

- Hey, Dr. Fake-enstein,
your light show didn't work.

- Oh, no!

My teacher's gonna blame me
for k*lling the plant,

and she'll make me sit
in the back with the kids

who have mystery crust
in the corners of their mouths.

- Relax, Phoebe.

See?

Evil science takes time.

- Whoa, maybe it did work.

- I got next!

Breathe some life
into my friend here.

What?
I get lonely.

- Mom!

It's Saturday.
Why can't I sleep in?

Trevor?

- [growls]
- [gasps]

Max!

- Who's a hungry,
little plant shark?

You are.
Yes, you are.

What do you want, some ham,
pickles, cannolis,

leftover Chinese?
[plant growling]

how about an apple?

- [snarling]
- [scoffs]

Max, that's enough.
- [spits]

- You made this.
now fix it.

- You're the one who told me
to bring it back to life.

- Yeah, but I didn't tell you
to make it a mutant freak.

- But that's what Max brings
to the party.

- Sure, and on Monday,
when my teacher asks

why it has fangs
and can follow a conversation,

I'll just say,
"eh, that's okay,

because that's what Max brings
to the party."

turn him back to normal.
- Hey, you said

if I revived him, I could
feed him whatever I want,

and superheroes always
keep their word.

- Oh!
Curse my code of ethics.

- Trevor and I are going to have
a feast down in my lair.

- Not without me.

- Phoebe, you promised us
breakfast in bed!

- Oh!
Curse my code of breakfast.

- Oh, look at uncle Wilfred.

So handsome in
his all American blob uniform.

- That's one way to put it.

Hello, I'm Mr. Finster, attorney
to the all American blob.

- Oh, pleased to meet you.
I'm Barb thunderman,

and this is my husband--
- Yacht! I mean, Hank.

- Good. Well, we'll get started
when everyone gets here.

- Everyone?
Who else is coming?

- Whassup?
[laughs]

I'm blobbin,

the all American blob's
sidekick.

Ready to kick butt, take names!
Hiyah, hiyah!

In your face, in your face!
Spin! Ah!

[coughs]

I gotta sit down. [laughs]
I gotta sit down.

Maybe throw up
a little bit.

- Okay.

Let us begin
by reading his autobiography,

Throwing My Weight Around:
The All American Blob Story.


- This is gonna take a while.

- Maybe there are
a lot of pictures.

- There aren't.

"My life has been like
a marshmallow--pretty sweet."

- He taught me so much.
[sobbing]

- All right, time for round two,
little buddy.

All I could find was
dad's emergency fried chicken.

Whoa!
[plant growls]

Dr. colosso!
I was only gone for a minute.

How could he get that big?

- Let's see, maybe it was
the ham or the pickles

or, I don't know,
the gallon of growth hormone!

- I need a picture of this.

- Max!

- [chomping]

[swallows]

- Did you just eat
Dr. Colosso?

- [grumbles]
- I'm okay.

And the joke's on him,

'cause I'm going
straight to his thighs.

- You've crossed the line, weed.
No one messes with my bunny!

Freakishly big
and--immune to powers?


I am good.
- [grunts]

- Whoa!
you've already eaten all my food

and my friend.
What else do you want?

- [growls]

- Sorry, Trevor,
but I'm off the menu.

I'm coming back for you,
Dr. Colosso!

- So stay here?
Okay, got it.

- Hey, guys.
How was breakfast?

- Well, Phoebe said you took
all the food for Trevor,

so we had to boil
my macaroni art.

- Hey, it was either that
or we order pizza for breakfast.

Ugh, we should've ordered pizza
for breakfast.

- So did you change Trevor
back to normal?

- Oh, he changed.

Off topic here,
but does dad have a chain saw?

- Why do you need
a chain saw?

- [screaming]

- That's why.

[plant growling]
- I got you, Billy!

[all grunting]

Is this Trevor?

- No, it's my other
monster plant.

- [grunts]

[plant growls]

[alarm sounding]
ALL: Aah!

- Alert. Alert.
Parental transmission.

- Hi!

ALL: Hi, mom and dad!

- What's wrong?

- Wrong?
Nothing's wrong.

Why would you say
something's wrong?

- Because you're all sitting
in the exact same place

as the last time we called.

- Uh, well...

- I know what it is.

My poor little babies
miss me.

- All right, thundermans,
break's over.

Time for chapter .

- Gotta go.
We'll be home soon.

- I love my babies!

- Max, we have to get this thing
under control

before mom and dad
get back.

- I can create an antidote
to change it back, but I'll need

someone to sneak into my lair
to grab the chemicals.

Who wants to play
"fetch the chemicals"?

- You must think
we're real idiots.

- I love playing
"fetch the chemicals."

- No, we're doing this together.
I have a plan.

- Superpowers
don't work on it.

- Okay, new plan.

- [chirping]

- Would you stop that?

- [chirps]

[plant growls]

- Okay, you guys ready?
BOTH: No.

- Just get down here.

- Is this really necessary?

- Yes, it's part of the plan.
You two need to distract Trevor

while I grab the chemicals
for the antidote.

Plus, it's hilarious.
[laughs]

- Hey, planty, planty.
over here.

- That's the best you got?
Watch and learn.

[high-pitched] Hey, there,
tall, green, and leafy.

- [grunts]
- See anything you like?

- She said distracting,
not disturbing.

- Okay, Max,
what chemicals do you need?

- I'll need the lunarcialmafin,
the chloroformalios,

and the triptafotomene.
- What?

- The green, purple,
and yellow ones!

- [high-pitched]
Uh, hurry up, guys.

This is getting weird.

- [burps]

- And disgusting.

- Got it, let's go!

- Wait!
Dad's emergency fried chicken!

Some of us didn't have
a real breakfast.

Hey, get your own!

- Max, hurry up and mix
that antidote before Trevor...

Changes his relationship status
to "it's complicated."

- "and the only regret I have
is that I never experienced

the greatest adventure of all,
having a family of my own."

- Oh, it's so touching.
- I know.

- Now, we come to the will.

- 'bout time!
Let's do this!

- He means,
let's do the healing.

- Ah, "to my trusted sidekick,
blobbin,

"I leave you my mansion,
my entire fortune,

and a signed copy
of my autobiography."

- Oh, yeah!
[grunts]

come to blobby.
[laughs]

my first book.

- Guess that means we'll be
setting sail on that yacht.

"and to my niece,
Barb thunderman,

who already has so much,
I leave my greatest treasure..."

- Yes, make fast The Mizzenmast!
hoist the sails!

Next stop, Bermuda!

- "My collection of jams
and jellies from many lands."

- That's a strange name
for a yacht.

- Oh, dude, total score.
[laughs]

- So no yacht?

What about a speedboat?
Maybe a pontoon? A dinghy?

- There's no boat, Hank.

Uncle Wilfred gave us something
more important than that.

- Jams?
- No.

- Jellies?
- No.

He reminded us
we're already sailing

on the greatest adventure
of all.

We have a family with
four healthy, happy children.

BOTH: Aah!
[plant growling]

- I am not happy about this!

[plant growling]

- Don't worry, colosso,
I'll get you out of there.

- Get a hot towel ready.

It's like a bag
of wet hamburger meat in here.

- How's that antidote coming,
Max?

- And done.

Just need to get him to eat it.
Give me your shoe.

- No way, these are
my favorite flats.

- Phoebe!
- Fine.

- Hey, stink breath!
- [grunts]

[growls]
- darn it!

He won't take the bait.
He just wants to eat us.

- Let me try your shoe.
- Okay.

- Those were my cutest flats!
- Oh! Ow.

- Billy, since this looks like
it might be the end,

I have something
to tell you.

- That even though you insult me
all the time,

deep down,
you really love me?

- No, I use your toothbrush
to scrub Dr. Colosso.

[plant growls]
- Dr. Colosso, that's it!

- What do you mean?

- The plant ate your rabbit,
right?

So let's give it
what he wants.

Douse this stuffy
with your antidote.

Might want to hurry.
It looks hungry.

- [growls]

- Three-pointer from deep.
- [grunts]

- Nothing but plant.

- [grumbles]

- Ugh!
Why did I catch this?

- Someone run me a bath.

- [grunting]

[whimpers]

[squeaks]

[all cheering]

- Yeah!
- My Trevor's back!

- I did it!
I defeated the plant!

- What do you mean?
I defeated the plant.

- Uh, I made the antidote.
- I mean, I got the bunny.

It was all my idea.
- I hit the sh*t.

- Glad to see
things are back to normal.

- Yup.
Now, about my toothbrush...

- [sighs]

- Is a mutant monster plant
garbage or recycling?

[alarm sounding]

- Alert. Alert.

Parents approaching.

- Yard waste!

- Hi, mom and dad.
- Hey, guys.

- Hi!
- Hi.

- Did you guys get the yacht?

- There is no yacht, kids.

- So we're not rich?

- We're rich in family.
- Yeah.

- You see,
life's an adventure,

and your mother will
tell you all about it.

- So what did my little
treasures do while we were gone?

- Not much.
- Chilled.

- Nothing.
- Almost got eaten

by a giant plant
with huge teeth, smelly breath--

- Oh, our Billy has
such a wild imagination.

[laughter]

Stop talking.

- Oh, it is so nice
to be home with my children.

How about tonight,
I make us a family dinner?

- Cool!
- Sounds good.

- Yeah? I was thinking
of a great, big, green salad.

ALL: No!

- Okay, how about spaghetti?
- No!

Oh, wait,
spaghetti's good.
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