01x10 - Crime After Crime

[bunniefuu]

- Thanks for
the breakfast smoothies, mom.

- Of course,
anything for my babies.

- Mm!
- Delicious.

- Good morning, everyone.

- Someone slept in today.

Want a smoothie?
- Oh, sure, thanks.

Mmm!

I am so glad
you bought a new juicer

after the first one
was accidentally hit

by a hammer seven times.

- Check it out.

Our homeowners association
blog says

that pesky neighborhood vandal
struck again.

- "Neighborhood vandal

steals chickens
from backyard coop."

- Small-town prankster.

Adorable.

- Not adorable.

It's times like this
I wish I never hung up my cape.

- You never hang up anything.

- Yes, I do.

- Why is there a chicken
in the backyard?

- To get to the other side.

Nailed it!

- What in the...

- What?
Nora!

Later.

- Cool!
We live on a farm!

- The vandal put
the stolen chickens in our yard.

- All right, Thundermans,
chicken roundup.

[clicking]

[chickens clucking]

[laughter]

Stop laughing.

This isn't funny.

[chicken screeches]

[laughter]

- Is it funny now?

- Yes.

Yes, it is.

[heroic music]

- ♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in
bet you never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're livin' our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer you might see
the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe
it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble
livin' a double life ♪

- Why are you putting eggs
in your pockets?

- I'm gonna hatch them.

- You know that's not possible?

- I ran to Costa Rica
for bananas this morning.

Don't tell me what's possible.

- You seem to be enjoying
yourself a little too much.

- That's because I enjoy working
in the great outdoors,

and you're standing
in chicken poop.

- You know, Hank, we could
do something about the vandal

if we started some sort
of crime watch program.

- Oh, yeah,
we could call ourselves

community crime punchers

and punch out crime!

I could be the captain

and the people of hiddenville
will adore me.

- Or you could just do it
to stop the neighborhood vandal.

- As long as the people
adore me.

- Let me solve this case for you
right now, dad.

Max did it.
- What?

- Oh, don't "what" me,
rooster booster.

Just admit it.

You were up late this morning

because you were out late
last night stealing chicken.

- Oh, please,
if I did this,

these would be android chickens
with rocket wings.

- The boy has a point,

and you're not getting back
robo-cluck.

- Buck-aww...

- Come on, Hank,

let's start
getting these chickens

back where they belong.

- The deep fryer?

- No, their owner.

- Buck-aww...

- Okay,
you might have them fooled,

but I know
when you're hiding something.

You're the neighborhood vandal,
and I'm gonna catch you.

- Mm, good luck with that.

You couldn't catch a cold
in winter.

- That's because I sanitize.

The point is that
you better watch your step

because I'm not gonna let you
out of my sight.

Where'd you go?

- Okay, crime punchers meeting
starts in five minutes.

All right, Nora,
let's hear that new theme song.

- ♪ We're the crime punchers ♪

♪ Making you safe ♪

♪ Crime punchers ♪

Punching crime in the face!

- Okay.

Billy, we need that chair
for the meeting.

- Dad, I'm nesting.

- Oh, not in our good chairs
you're not.

Barb, where are the sna--

what are those?
- egg-themed finger foods.

You know what they say.

When life gives you eggs,
makes egg-onade.

- You didn't really make
egg-onade, did you?

- Maybe.

- Phoebe, order a pizza.

[electronic beeping]

- Alert.
Alert.

Neighbors approaching.

- Oh, here we go!

[laughing]

[clears throat]

Hi, how are you?

Thanks for coming.
Hello.

Hi, how are you?

- Oh, hi, Mrs. Wong.

I was just calling
your restaurant

to order a pizza.

[cell phone ringing]

- Excuse me.
I have to take this.

No pizza for you!

- Come on,
you can't still be mad

that my brother and I
blew up your kitchen.

- Is this the face of a woman
who holds a grudge?

- So who's this little angel?

- This my niece, Darcy Wong.

Darcy, say hello
to the annoying girl.

- This used to be
my best friend's house.

They had nice stuff.

You've been here a few months,

when your nice stuff coming?

- Our stuff's already--

oh, I see.

I just got wonged.

- Sup?
I'm Nora.

Want to hang?

- Depends.

You gonna make me
wear one of those bows?

- We're done here.

- Good evening, everyone.

Welcome to our home.

- Yes, would anyone like
an egg fritter,

a stuffed egg,
egg kabob?

- Well, as you all know,
we're concerned about

the recent rash of petty crime
in the neighborhood.

Now here's what we should do--

- Nuh-uh,
slow down there, bossy.

Why do you get to say
what we are doing?

- Well, it only makes sense
that I'm captain;

I started
community crime punchers.

- We need to vote
for a captain.

I nominate Mrs. Wong.

[gasps]
That's me!

- Huh.

I don't mind
a little fair competition,

but before we vote...

[whistles]

I'd like everyone to have
a free crime punchers jacket,

complements of me,
Hank Thunderman!

- Vote for Hank.

Vote for Hank.

- Now, who votes for jackets--

oops, I mean me.

Wow, this is so sudden,

and look, the captain's jacket
fits perfectly.

- Wow, big night, huh?

I'm wiped.

[yawning]

Off to bed.

- Okay, honey.

- I'm tired too.

Yawn.

Off to bed.

- O-okay, honey.

- I knew it.

You snuck out.

- Yeah, I snuck out...

To floss.

- Okay, now I know
you're up to something.

You never floss.

You don't even know how
to floss.

- What's your point?

- [scoffs]

All I'm saying is,

I'm watching you.

I'm also gonna watch the stairs
but mostly you!

- Better watch your back
tonight, Max.

Stumbles is on to you.

- I'm not worried about
that amateur.

She'll never catch me.

- ♪ Dun-dun dah ♪

- What you got?

What you got?
What you got?

[warbling]

- Lasers.
I've got lasers.

- Kids, stop using your powers.

[siren wailing]

We don't want to draw attention
to ourselves.

[sighs]

Now I'm off
to keep the neighborhood safe.

Ah!
Sea monster!

- Our neighborhood vandal
put green dye

in the community pool.

Some crime punchers captain
you are!

Look at me!

- Do I have to?

- You're not funny.

You're just a big dope

with a really cool hat.

Your days as captain
are numbered.

[snapping]

Wong out!

- [sighs]

He thinks he can outsmart me?

What an amateur.

- Ah, it's cute when you try.

- Got you!

- Ah!

Phoebe?

What is wrong with you?

Would have left you frozen,

but this park
already has a creepy statue.

- I knew it.

I knew you were
the neighborhood vandal,

but I didn't know you were
a tiny bike thief.

- This is mine.
I'm not stealing it.

Can you please get out of here?

- Not till you explain all this.

- Fine.

I'm out here because...

I'm learning how to ride
this thing, okay?

- You know how to ride a bike.

- [scoffs]

Whoa, whoa!

Ah!

Crash!

- You don't know
how to ride a bike.

Who doesn't know
how to ride a bike?

I can't believe you don't know
how to ride a bike?

Who doesn't know
how to ride a bike?

- I'm living it.

You don't have to keep
saying it.

- It's okay, Max.

I know plenty of teenagers
who can't ride a bike.

- Really?
- No.

Why didn't you learn how ride
in metroburg?

- Because in metroburg,
I had a jetpack.

Here, I have to walk three miles
to flirt with girls at the mall,

and nobody likes
a heavy-breathing, sweaty flirt.

- Mom fell for it.

- You got to promise
you won't tell anyone

I can't ride a bike.

- I won't tell.

- You have
to Thunder twin swear.

- That's not a thing--

- Just say it!

- Okay, I Thunder twin swear.

- Thank you.

Get out of here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Crash!

- Wow.

- Get out!
Don't look at me!

- Hank, the blog photographer
just called.

He'll be here any minute.

- Perfect.

He'll take my picture
on the crime puncher mobile,

said picture will strike terror
into the heart of that vandal

and love into the hearts
of our adoring neighbors.

- Well, captain,
want an egg pop?

Boiled eggs covered in cake
and icing?

- Egg pop?

Finally a snack
that makes sense.

[electronic beeping]

- Alert.
Alert.

Angry mob approaching.

- Angry mob?

That's a weird name
for a photographer.

- You've done it this time,
Thunderhead.

- What?
I didn't do anything.

- Exactly.

While you were sitting around
sweating up that jacket,

the vandal filled our mailboxes
with dirt.

- Barb, go stop him.

Well, I don't want
to get my jacket dirty.

- It already stinks
with failure!

- What's going on?

- The vandal struck again,

and Darcy and Wong
are sticking it to dad.

- There's a dirt-covered vandal

out there right now
sneaking around,

and you're just letting him
get away.

- You think it's easy
to catch a criminal?

It takes weeks
of meticulous planning,

interviewing suspects,
collecting evidence--

- there he is.

- Max, can we see you
for a second?

- Hey, everyone.

What's going on?

- You should have stayed home

and sat on eggs with me.

- What were you doing out there?

- He was obviously
filling mailboxes with dirt.

Are you punching crime
or is crime punching you?

- Hold on, everybody,
this is not what it seems.

Max is innocent.

Go on, Max.

Tell them
what you were doing tonight.

- Mom, dad,
I have a confession to make.

I am the neighborhood vandal.

- What?

- This must be hard for you.

- Uh!
- Smile.

[camera shutter clicks]

[electronic beeping]

- Please remove all metals--

keys, cell phones, jewelry--

or slip me a carrot,
and I'll look the other way.

- Colosso, Max is grounded;
he's not in jail.

- Hey, I'm a bunny
in a basement.

Playing dress up is all I got.

- How'd you get past security?

- Really?

- What do you want?

- You should have just
told everyone the truth.

- No way I was gonna
tell everyone

in the neighborhood
I can't ride a bike.

- Well, then at least
let me tell mom and dad.

- You can't tell anyone;
you Thunder twin swore.

- Again, that is not a thing.

[sighs]

Just come see what you've done.

- [nervous chuckle]

Who placed a network
of spy cameras around our house?

- Save it.
Just look.

- Hey, what horror movie
is this?

- You caused this, Max.

Because you lied
about being the vandal,

that photo ended up
in the neighborhood blog.

Now Wong
is crime punchers captain,

dad's humiliated and...

For some reason
can't wear pants.

- What have I done?

This is the most embarrassing
thing I've ever seen.

Hit record, Phoebe.

- Hank, we're outside.

You couldn't put your pants on?

- The neighbors
have already seen my shame.

- Good, you're all here.

Come on out, Max.

- Max,
what are you doing outside?

You're supposed to be grounded.

- And grown men
are supposed to wear pants.

- Pants are for captains.

- [sighs]

Max has something to tell you.

Max.

- I'm not
the neighborhood vandal.

- What?

- I'm not the vandal, dad.

I was sneaking out

but for
a completely different reason.

I'll show you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[all shout]

- [sighs]

- Finally,

I'm the less
embarrassing brother.

Up top, Billy!

- Max was sneaking out
to learn how to ride a bike.

He's not the disappointment
you thought he was.

Well, he is,
but for a different reason.

- This is fantastic.

We can everyone the truth
and clear my name,

and everyone will adore me
again.

- Whoa, do we really want
to tell the whole neighborhood

that Max doesn't have the skills
of your average circus bear?

- Besides,
no one would believe us.

Thanks to
that neighborhood blog,

we now have zero credibility.

- But as superheroes,

it's our duty
to stop the villain.

- But how?

- I know how.

- How'd this happen?

- I may not know
how to ride a bike,

but I do know how to reveal
a super genius plan--

with flair.

- And I'm the flair.

- We're listening.

- The day before each prank,

there was a post on the blog
about the target.

Check it out.

- "Chicken coop approved."

next day,
chickens in our backyard.

"community pool swim meet."

then Wong shows up green.

Now look
at what today's blog says.

- "Neighborhood park reopens."

- Exactly.

Everything will be shiny
and new--

the benches, the statues.

No mischievous vandal
could resist this.

- Then the Thundermans
will be there to catch him.

- And Dr. Colosso.

Fine.

Leave me here.

It's not like I poop
in your shoes

while you're gone.

- Everyone in position?

- Ready.
- Ready.

- Ready.

- I hate losing coin flips.

- Okay, we got
all the exits covered.

We'll let the vandal sneak in,
but we won't let him get out.

- And remember
to let Phoebe record it

before we bust him;
we need that proof.

- Roger that.

- We built our entire plan

around this guy
showing up tonight.

Are you sure it's gonna work?

- Trust me.
It's foolproof.

- [sighs]

[rooster crowing]

- [snoring]

- Hey, foolproof,
it's the next day.

- Is anyone awake?

- Just me...

And that guy
messing with the statue.

- We're missing it!

- All right, dad, get closer,
get ready to grab him.

- Got it.

Just like the old days
when we took down

general banana
and his monkey minions,

right, Barb?

Barb?

Wake up, Barb.

- I'm up!

I'm ready!

- All right, be patient, dad.

Wait for it.

Wait for it...

Now!

- Ha-ha!

[children shouting]

What are kids doing in a park?

- I want a pretzel!

- Okay, hang on.
Hang on. Hang on.

Everybody gets a pretzel!

[children cheering]

You adore me.

You really adore me!

[children cheering]

- Dad's surrounded.
Mom, you're up.

- Got it.
He's all mine.

- Can you tie my shoe?

- Aww, of course.

[baby talk] Now let's take care
of Mr. Shoe.

- Once she does
that mommy voice,

she's worthless.

- Oh, no, Billy and Nora
are out too.

- You're so cute!

- Then I'm up.
Keep filming.

I'll catch the vandal.

[grunting]

I did it!

Look, Max,
I totally caught the vandal!

I--
ahh!

I can't see!

My eyes are covered in silly!

Did you see, Max?

I caught him.

- You did good, kid,
real good,

but the vandal did better.

It's up to me now.

- [spitting]

- Let's ride!

I'm doing it!
I'm riding a bike!

- Max, what about the vandal?

- Who cares?

I'm riding a bike;
nothing else matters!

- Max!

Oh, forget it.

ALL: Darcy?

- They never suspect
the cute little girl.

- Why would you do all this?

- I don't know.

Started junior high,
my best friend moved away;

it's been rough for me.

- Aww.

- And I do enjoy

destroying
other people's property.

- Uh, okay, ew.

- [sighs]

Well, your reign of terror
is over,

and as soon as we show
this video to Mrs. Wong,

everyone will know that Max
is innocent.

- You think
I was troubled before?

You better watch your backs!

And your little bows too.

[warbling]

- Nora!

Later.

- We're not afraid of you.

If anything,
you should be afraid of us.

- Yeah, we're the Thundermans!

- Look, mommy,
I'm riding a bike!

Whoo!

All right,
what's the Big Surprise?

- Well, now that you know
how to ride a bike,

we thought you'd go
for a family ride.

- Yeah...

I'm not doing that.

- Come on, Max,
it won't be embarrassing.

- Then how come it already is?

- Your loss.

[chicks chirping]

- What's that noise?

- Chickens are hatching
in my pants.

- Thundermans are a go!