01x15 - Have an Ice Birthday

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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01x15 - Have an Ice Birthday

Post by bunniefuu »

Zoom!

- They're coming!
They're coming!

- Oh, places, everyone!

Okay, go, go, go, go, go!

- I thought you said
they were coming.

- Give them a minute.

I am the fastest kid
in the world.

- Morning, guys.
- Hey.

ALL: Happy Birthday!

- Ooh, we get to blow out
Mom's fingers.

[fingers zapping]

- Oh, trick fingers.

Man, we fall for it every year.

- [laughs]

Happy Birthday, babies!

One year older,
one year cuter!

- All right, time to unwrap
your birthday breakfast.

And remember, I get to lick
the wrapping paper.

BOTH:
Unwrap! Unwrap!

Unwrap! Unwrap!

- Ooh, smiley face pancakes.

BOTH: Eat the face!
Eat the face!

- Barb, we all set
for tonight's traditional

Thunderman birthday party?

- Mm-hmm, birthday cake
shaped like a piñata: Check.

- Piñata shaped
like a birthday cake: Check.

- Billy and Nora's
puppet show...

BOTH: Check.

- And finally a preview
of your birthday rap!

- We're still doing that?

- Drop me a fat b*at, Barb.

- I guess we are.

- [b*at boxing]

- ♪ A boom, a bap,
it's your birthday rap ♪

♪ Put your hands together
everybody, go clap ♪

♪ On this day in history,
we celebrate the birth of Max ♪

- ♪ And Phoebe ♪

- Birthday breakdown.

[all b*at boxing]

- Right behind you!

I think I'm having
a birthday breakdown.

- I know.
Me too.

We're getting too old for this.

- You can't break it down
without your birthday hats.

- Oh, my wittle twinsies!

- No.
- Definitely too old.

Ow, okay.
- Stop it.

- No, not that.
- No, stop it, no.

[both groaning]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'Cause we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe,
it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- [grunting and growling]

It's taking me forever
to wrap your present.

Boy, I miss my thumbs.

- What are you doing down here?

- Hiding from
the birthday madness.

Dad just put
on his break dancing sweats,

and they're about years
too small.

- Ugh.

- When did we stop enjoying
Mom and Dad's birthday stuff?

- Right after Mom dropped
the "fat b*at."

- Maybe--maybe it's time
we have a cool party,

like the one Cherry had.

No silly hats,
no piñatas,

and no break dancing
butt cracks.

- Are you saying
we should throw our own party

without our parents?

- Are you recording
our conversation?

- Not anymore.

- We just need to get
Mom and Dad to let us throw it.

- I can handle them.

We'll need rope for Mom,

titanium chains for Dad.

The cage is for the little ones.

- See, what scares me is,
you have all that stuff,

don't you?

- Listen.
I might be late to your party.

I have tape everywhere.

And I do mean everywhere.

- And so to sum up,
Max and I are old enough

to throw our own birthday party.

It'll be at Wong's pizza palace.

And we'll only invite
a few of our friends.

- But we're your friends.

- Our friends under .

- Well, I suppose if Phoebe's
two-hour presentation

taught us anything, it's that
they're not kids anymore.

And that we need
a more comfortable sofa.

- But they are kids.

He's our Maxy bear!

And she's bumble-Phoebe.

Okay, I see what you're saying.

- So we can have our party?

- Well, I suppose,
if you stick to the plan...

- Whoo!
- Sweet!

- Oh, oh, okay.

- This is the best present ever.
Thank you.

- Just to be clear,
I still want actual presents.

- I can't believe
they're growing up so fast.

- Guess we don't
need this anymore.

Candy never grows up.

- What's this about
no family party tonight?

- Yeah, we had
a whole puppet show planned.

- Way to go, old man.

Sorry.
Puppet Billy has anger issues.

- At least we still have
Billy and Nora.

- Yeah, but how long
before they grow up?

- Thanks for raising me,
Mom and Dad,

but I'm out of here.

- I'm off too.

But I'll visit at Christmas

if my wife lets me.

- We can't let the years
slip away

the way we did
with Phoebe and Max.

- You're right.

We have to make
every precious minute count.

- Yeah, okay.

- Hey, uh, Barb,

I could really go
for a puppet show.

- Oh, me too.

Do we know anybody
who can do a puppet show?

- Do we know anybody
who could do a puppet--

Wait! we can!

- Oh!

- Yep, just me
and three dummies.

[upbeat dace music playing]

- Fun party, birthday girl!

But, you know, I think

that there's actually something
wrong with your bathroom.

- That's a photo booth.

- Ooh.

- We're doing it, Max.

We're throwing our own party.

- Yeah,
it's a pretty good start.

- Oh.
Hey, Mrs. Wong.

Thanks again for letting us
have our party here.

- Of course!
I like you.

I'm sorry, did I say you?

I meant your money.

More overpriced pizzas
on the way!

- Uh, Mrs. Wong,
let me help you out with those.

- Did you wash your hands?

[laughs]
I'm just kidding.

It's only your friends.
[laughs]

- More guests, Phoebe?

Somebody is getting
ubes popular.

- I didn't invite them

or them

or those guys.

- More people.

Good thing
I brought my name tag.

- So are these pizzas for us?

- No, my delivery guy
is taking these

to the sweep the leg dojo.

They're made with cheese.

Yours are the ones made
with "cheese."

- Hey, Max, there's a bunch
of kids from school, but--

Whoosh!

- Why did you freeze Mrs. Wong?

- Were you about to tell me
there's a bunch of kids

from school showing up that you
don't remember inviting?

- Yes.
- That's why.

We don't need Wong knowing

I invited the whole school
to our party.

- But that wasn't a part
of my presentation!

- Yeah, well, I added a page.

- "Freeze Wong.
Invite entire school."

Wait; why is
that stick figure yelling?

- Well, that's you
when you heard my plan.

- That's a very accurate
depiction!

- Look, I needed to make sure
our first real birthday party

was the greatest party ever.

- By inviting the whole school?

That's a terrible idea.

- Phoebe, this is
the greatest party ever.

- Even she gets it.

- Whoa, that is one
creepy ice sculpture.

This party has everything.

Yeah!
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

- [sighs]

I don't know about this, Max.

Oh, come on, pheebs.
It'll be easy.

We just unfreeze Wong
after the party.

It'll be like nothing happened.

- Rational Phoebe says, "No."

- Come on.

- But party Phoebe says
let's go rock our birthday!

- All right!

[dance music playing]

ALL: Happy Birthday, Max!

- I may have forgotten to put
your name in the invitation.

- Oh, no!

Sheepzilla's going to eat
my faithful sidekick.

- Laser it, super Nora.

- Time to make some lamb chops.

[can hisses]

- This is b-a-a-a-d.

Ugh.
[blows raspberry]

- The end.

- Ah!
- Bravo! Bravo!

- Do it again!
Do it again!

- But we've already
done it twice.

- Well, not in high def,
you haven't.

I'm getting the camera.

- Oh, hurry, Hank!

They're getting older!

- Thunder man, away!

[dance music playing]

♪ ♪

- My first real party.

Crowd surfing!

Thud!

Don't worry, guys.
We'll get this right.

- Hey, Phoebe,
help me get some more pizzas.

- Someone should tell Evan
that no one's gonna catch him.

- Eh, don't worry about it.

- Crowd surf--

Thud!

I'm beginning to think it's me.

- I told you I know
how to throw a rocking party.

BOTH: Where did you put
Mrs. Wong?

BOTH: Where did you
Put Mrs. Wong?

BOTH: Me?
Stop that!

- We lost a frozen woman.

What are we gonna do?

- There's only one thing to do.

[both screaming]

- I don't get it.

Mrs. Wong was right here
when you froze her.

How could she be gone?

- Oh, no.

I'm standing in a puddle
of melted Wong.

Ah, no.
Tastes like lemonade.

And everyone
who's ever walked in here.

- You're in so much trouble.

You just had to turn her
into a wongsicle!

Now Mom and Dad will never let
us throw our own party again.

- We'll spend the rest
of our birthdays

breaking it down with MC Barb
and DJ double flush.

- We've got to find her.

She couldn't have
just walked out of here.

Somebody had
to have carried her out.

- Look.

All those pizzas are gone.

Maybe the deliver guy thought
Mrs. Wong was an ice sculpture

and delivered her
to the sweep the leg dojo.

- Then we should go there.
It's our only clue.

Unless you want to keep licking
the floor.

- Wait.

If we have to leave,
at least let us leave

through the only party
we may ever throw.

♪ ♪

- Max, we don't have time
for this.

- [sighs]

- Oh, Phoebe, dance with us!

- Whoo!

- Phoebe, we don't have time
for this.

[can hissing]

- This is b-a-a-a-d.

[blows raspberry]

- The end,

for the seventh time.

- Ah!

- [whistles]

- Stop clapping!

It's not that good.

- We love it,
'cause we love you.

We want to cherish
these moments.

- Well, can you cherish
the moment

of letting us eat dinner?

- All right, kids,
go on and eat.

There's some leftover
Mac and cheese in the fridge.

- Aw, look at them run
with their little legs.

- These are the best times,

when they always
want to be around us.

- These are the worst times.

- I can't stand
being around them.

[high-pitched whirring]

They're behind us, aren't they?

- Just keep eating.

[gentle drum and strings music]

♪ ♪

[students grunting]

- Okay, there's Wong.

What's our plan?

[straw bubbles]

Did you have to stop
for one of those?

- It's my birthday.
I deserve a treat.

[students grunting]

- Okay, maybe if we ask
the sensei nicely,

he'll let us have
Mrs. Wong back.

He looks reasonable.

- All right, grasshoppers,

watch as your sensei
breaks his own arm

and then resets the bone.

Ah!

[screams]

[grunts]

Yeah.

- You know what?

You froze Wong.
You handle this.

- All right, mat rats,

before our pizza party,
we must bow to the chosen one.

- Now's my chance.

I'll grab Wong while sensei
psycho has his back turned.

- Legend says that she
and her googly eyes will return

and inspire us with wisdom and--

Brendan, put down
that stuffed crust!

Your parents didn't pay
for your class this week.

Nothing gets past sensei Kenny,

especially some bozo
trying to rob from my dojo.

- Uh...
[laughs nervously]

Funny story.

Um, this is actually
my ice sculpture.

I just didn't want to interrupt
your weird pizza party.

- Who are you calling weird?

I'm an unlicensed karate master.

Brendan, break my finger!

Ah!

Put it back!
Put it back!

Put it back!
Put it--

[screams]

Yeah.

You still want to rob
my ice sculpture?

- Please don't hurt...You.

I just want to take back
what's rightfully mine.

- Okay.
You have to fight for it.

- I can't fight you.

You're insane.

- You're not gonna fight me.

I have broken bones.

cr*ck!

.

Beginners class,
circle of doom!

- Beginners class.

You know,
I'll take on these tots,

but I'm warning you,
I got fists of fury.

- Break some bones!

Make the googly-eyed
chosen one proud!

[laughs]

- Ugh!

Whoa!

Ugh.

Whoa!

[grunting and groaning]

No!
Get 'em off!

Get 'em off me!
Ah!

cr*ck!

Ugh.
Put it back!

Put it back!

[groaning]

- [laughing]

- [groaning]

[gong clangs]

- [laughing]

- Oh, get 'em off!
Ow!

Brendan!
Brendan!

[groaning]

- Can we go to bed now?

- Nope, it's family movie time.

- Well, at least
they can't make this weird.

- It's the movies
we took of you today!

- And they made it weird.

- Oh, no!

Sheepzilla's going to eat
my faithful sidekick.

- Laser it, super Nora.

- [laughs]

remember when you did that?

- Yes, because it was
an hour ago!

- You were so cute back then.

- Now look how cute they are

watching how cute they are.

- What is happening?

- They've gone full cray-cray.

- Oh!

The latest hip kid slang.

I'm so glad I got it.

- That's it.
I'm going to the bathroom.

- Oh, cool.
I'll film that too.

- Stop!

The bathroom is Billy time.

- We can't take this anymore.

- We're out of here.

Hop on, Nora.

Zoom!

- I can't believe
we drove away our children.

Did you record it?
- Every second.

- Ah!
Let's go watch it!

[laughter]

- Oh, look, little...

- That's right.

Slap him in a hokey-pokey.

Whack his tramboozle.

Chop him in a dewabula!

[laughs]

- Stop!

I am the chosen one,
and I have returned.

- The chosen one
in a strip mall?

I don't think so.

- Behold my googly eyes
if you dare.

- Oh, please.

Many people have googly eyes.

Look at my assistant Troy.

- Well, if I weren't
the chosen one,

would I be able to do this?

- That's not very impressive.

- It would be if I were
floating, like in the painting.

- Yeah, that would be cool.

Oh!

- It is you!

You are the chosen one!

Troy, you seeing this?

- Psst, Troy, over here.

- Everyone, kneel.

This is amazing.

Why are you here, great one?

Do you want pizza?

A free lesson?

You need me to validate
your parking?

Brendan, get the stamp!

- No, I am here
for the ice sculpture.

- Well, you can have anything
you want.

You want a kid?

Brendan, get your shoes!

- That's a very generous offer,

but just the sculpture will do.

- It's yours.

- Yes.

- Oh!

The chosen one meant to do that.

- Hey, chosen one,
will you get the door?

- On it.

Chosen one, out.

- Did you all see that?

You see that?

The chosen one was in my dojo!

Floating!
[laughs]

I'm gonna put that on my flier.

I am.

Yeah.

- Cold, cold, cold,
cold, cold, cold, ah.

You couldn't help me carry her?

- Hey, I am the chosen one.

- Well, the party train
got derailed,

and I got b*at up by a biker
g*ng, but back in business.

- Biker g*ng?
They were little kids.

- My birthday, my story.

Now let's get back in there.

Who's ready to party?

- Apparently nobody.

[sighs]
sh**t.

texts from Cherry.

"Where are you?

"Great party.

"Someone brought a monkey.

"Who knew monkeys can dance?

"Ooo-oo, ee-ee.

Sorry, monkey took my phone."

BOTH: Oh.

"Best party ever.

"Cleaned up.

Happy Birthday, Bestie."

- Well, the good news is,
we threw the best party ever.

The bad news is,
we missed the whole thing.

- Talk about
your birthday breakdown.

After all
we went through tonight,

the only thing we have to show
for it is a slice of pizza.

- With fake cheese.

- You know, none of this
would have happened

if we had just stayed home
with Mom and Dad.

- Yeah.

Their parties may be silly,

but they are kind of fun.

- Mm, and there's no biker g*ng
there to b*at you up.

Oh, by the way, keeping that lie
is your birthday present.

You want to go home?

- Yeah.

I hurt everywhere.

- We should probably
unfreeze Wong.

- Yeah.

- Okay, so whatever fun activity
you want to do.

Totally your choice.

- Yeah, as long as we get
to spend quality time together,

we are happy.

- Well, this is a big bowl
of uncomfortable.

Adios, crazies.

Ooh.

- He's right.

We're a mess.

- Of course we are.

We miss our babies
on their birthday.

- Hey, guys, how was your party?

- It went so fast, it was like
we weren't even there.

Is it too late to do something
here with you guys?

- Oh!
- [shrieks]

- [clears throat]

- I suppose
we could do something.

- Yeah, I mean,
it's late notice,

but we could probably change
our plans.

And don't worry.
No hats.

No b*at boxing.

- But what if we told you
that's the reason we came home?

- Are you serious?

- [squeals]

Our babies are back!

- Drop me a b*at, Barb!

- [b*at boxing]

- ♪ A boom, a bap,
it's your birthday rap ♪

♪ Put your hands together ♪

♪ Everybody, go clap ♪

♪ On this day in history ♪

♪ We celebrate
the birth of Max ♪

- ♪ And Phoebe ♪

- ♪ He was a boy ♪

- ♪ She was a girl ♪

- ♪ Came into our lives and... ♪

BOTH: ♪ Changed our world ♪

- [b*at boxing]
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