01x18 - Paging Dr. Thunderman

[bunniefuu]

- Hey, dweebie.

- I told you
not to call me that.

- You tell me lots of things.

Have you seen my keys?

- They're on the floor
by the door.

- I don't see 'em.

- Look under the rug.

Three, two, one.

- Whoa!

- Oh, keys.

I thought you said,

"Hit me in the butt
with the door."

- Come on, Billy,
let's go play laser tag.

[laser zaps]
- Ow.

The pain makes it fun.

[laser zapping]

- Aw, remember when you and I
used to get along like that?

- Yeah.

Wait.
No, that wasn't you.

- Hey, guys, great news.

Nora's teacher recommended her
for a spot

at the Primridge school
for girls.

- Girls?
But I like boys.

They heal quicker.

- Primridge is
the fanciest school around,

and they want
to interview you today.

- Pretty cool.

- So I'm gonna need you two

to babysit Billy
while we take her.

- Pretty not cool.

- We'll take away your phones
if you don't.

- And it's cool again.

- Good.

Nora, this is
a great opportunity for you.

The ambassador to France
went there.

- Oh, maybe you'll learn
how to...

[speaks gibberish]

- But I like my school.

- Yeah, but Primridge
has everything:

a lacrosse field,
a science lab--

Help me out, Hank.

- They have an ice cream bar
in the cafeteria.

- Let's get this show
on the road.

- Nora, why do you have
a spoon in your pocket?

- Like Dad says,
"Always be ready for dessert."

- Mm-hmm, that's my girl.

- Nora, are you really gonna go
to a different school than me?

- No way.
That place is for fancy kids.

And I'm not fancy,
but I am hungry.

- Come on, Nora, let's go.

- Uh, Phoebe, you're in charge.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why does Phoebe always get
to be in charge?

We're the same age.

Where's my chance?

- Okay, you're in charge.

- Yes!

- Phoebe, you're secretly
in charge.

- Duh.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe,
it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- Billy, I'm making cereal.
Do you want some?

[disk whooshes]

[cereal clatters]

A simple "no" would do.

- Cool danger disk, huh?

By the way,
the cereal goes in the bowl.

- By the way, you don't play
danger disk in the house.

- Max said it was fine,
and he's in charge.

- No, he's not.

Dad just told him that
so that he'd behave.

- Well, it didn't work.

Billy, keep playing.

Phoebe, go to your room.

- Yay!

Ow!

My big toe finger.

- Oh, no.

Billy hurt his thumb.

This is why you don't play
with this in the house.

[glass shatters]

And that's another reason.

- Got my ice cream.

We can go home now.

- This school isn't just
about the ice cream, Nora.

It's got great teachers
and amazing facilities--

- Got my ice cream.

We can go home now.

Oh, right, sorry,
interview with the Dean.

Stay focused, Nora.

- You dripped ice cream
on your dress.

- Oh, yeah.

All gone.

- Good luck getting in here.

Primridge girls
don't wear their food.

- Your butt's going to be
wearing my foot

if you don't mind
your own beeswax.

- My butt wouldn't be
caught dead

in those unfortunate shoes.

[both laugh]

- Those girls don't think I can
get into their snooty school?

I'll show those spoiled,
bratty little fancy pants--

- Nora Thunderman?

- Dean Bartholet.

Enchanted to make
your acquaintance.

- You were smart to come
to Dr. Colosso.

- Are you even a real doctor?

- Of course.
I've operated on people.

- Doesn't make you a doctor.

- Quiet, or I'll make it .

- So is his thumb bad?

- Oh, yeah, it's bad.

We should lop it off
and put it on a keychain.

Oh, so a rabbit's foot is lucky,

but a kid's thumb
is crossing the line.

- Here's an idea.

Let's not seek medical advice
from a homicidal rabbit.

- You're right.

Let's just get Billy checked out
at the hospital.

- Are you crazy?

If Billy gets examined
by doctors,

we'll be exposed as superheroes.

- Why?

It's not like he has
an extra superpower lobe

in his brain like we do.

- Yeah, but do you know how fast
Billy's heart beats?

[heartbeat thumping rapidly]

- You should hear it
after my morning jog to Peru.

- We have to call Mom and Dad.

- No way.
That'll get us in trouble.

- It'll get you in trouble.

You're the one who told Billy

to keep playing danger disk
in the--

And they're gone
to the hospital.

- So, Nora, tell me
a little bit about yourself.

- Where to begin?

I love poetry,
fine conversation,

and attending the ballet
with my dear mother and father.

Isn't that right, dearest ones?

- I think she's talking to us.

- Oh.
Yes, that's right.

- How I do love the dance.

Like I was saying

to my dear friend Princess Kate
the other day,

"Bubbles"--I call her Bubbles--

"We simply must start
a dance company."

Oh, how I do go on.

Pardonne-moi.

- You speak French?

- Oui, oui.

the French culture
is so elegant.

Such savoir faire.

And what they can do
with a cream sauce...

Mwah!

[sighs]

- She's on fire.

- Mr. And Mrs. Thunderman,
I must say,

I was told
your daughter was gifted,

but I wasn't expecting
such a cultured young lady.

- That's our Nora.

She's full of surprises.

- Hospital gum?

- That's a bandage.

- Oh, that's why it lost
its flavor so quickly.

- Max, this is a bad idea.

We're gonna get exposed.

- Phoebe, you're forgetting
I'm an evil mastermind.

May I present...

- What's that, your briefcase
full of doctor-fooling stuff?

- My briefcase full
of doctor-fooling stuff.

First, we have a robotic arm
with a normal pulse

and fake ears so the doctor
won't detect

your super temperature.

Hey, where's the other ear?

- You're a much better listener
than Max.

Anyway, back to my mother.

She was a piece of work.

- How is this gonna fool
the doctor?

- [laughs]
This is Max's Teddy bear.

He clutches it
when he gets a sh*t.

- You're afraid of sh*ts?

- No.

Give me back grizzly Gus.

- Oh, no, Max,
the doctor's coming.

- Hurry, get ready!

- Hello!
You must be Billy.

Before we take a look
at your thumb,

I need to take
a few vital signs.

Can I see your arm?

That's quite an arm
you've got there.

- Thank you.
It's new.

- [laughs]

Oh, Billy.

He says things.

- Pulse seems normal.

Let's take your temperature.

- Uh, use this one.

I'm left-eared.

- Good gravy!

- I can explain.

Billy has...

A huge ear.

[thermometer beeps]

- ..

- Yes!

I loves me some normal
ear temperature.

- All right,
let's look at that thumb.

Can you wiggle it?

- I can shake it all night long.

- The thumb.

- Oh, right.

- Hmm.

It's just a sprain.

Just ice it, and it'll be fine.

- Thanks, doctor.

- It worked.
See, Phoebe?

Everything turned out great

thanks to
my calm, cool leadership.

- Sorry, kids, I'll be needing
this room for the next patient.

- Needle.

Big.

[groans]

Crash!

- What was that noise?

- This boy just fainted.

- Take this young man off

for a complete
physical evaluation.

Give him the works.

- Just don't give him
a brain scan.

- Good idea.
Let's give him a brain scan.

- Don't look at me.

I said not to.

- You can see the patient now.
- [sighs]

- Max, are you okay?

- I'm fine.

- Good, 'cause that
was hilarious!

She was like,
"Hey, I need this room now."

And you were like,
"Ah, giant sh*t!

Bam!
Good night, everybody!"

[imitates groan]

- Max, did they find out
you have superpowers?

- I don't think so,

but they said
they took a brain scan.

Once they look at it,
they'll see the superpower lobe

and we'll be busted for sure.

- Unless--unless we get
that brain scan first.

We just need to figure out a way
to sneak around the hospital

without being noticed.

- I got it.

We go to medical school
and become doctors.

Then we meet back here
in years.

Break!

BOTH: Or...

- Greetings, Dr. Krelman.

- Greetings, Dr. Chang.

- And hello, Dr. Bandage Boy.

Ow!

- Good job, Nora.

I mean, you really put on
a great show.

- Yeah, I didn't know
you knew German poetry.

- Once I get in,

I'm gonna show these
snooty girls what real fun is.

- Now, Nora,
don't get your hopes up.

You still might not
get accepted.

But what really matters is
that you tried.

- Nora Thunderman,
welcome to Primridge.

- Yes!

Baby's going to fancy school!

- [clears throat]

- I mean, how lovely.

- Our school tailor, Mr. Joseph,

can do a uniform fitting
with you shortly.

Oh, and I'll need to collect
that check from you,

Mr. Thunderman.

- Here you go.
First year's tuition.

- No, this is just
the entrance fee.

The actual tuition is--

Well, just add
a couple of zeroes.

- Give her the check, Hank.

- Here comes more doctors.

Act like we belong.

- Doctor.
- Doctor.

- Doctor.
- Doctor.

- Nurse.

Ladies love the B-man.

- Come on, let's find
that brain scan.

[phone chimes]

Oh, it's a text from Mom.

"Nora accepted at Primridge
and can't wait to start."

That's great.

- Nora promised me
that wouldn't happen.

I can't believe
she lied to me.

- Any chance that's code for,

"Don't worry,
I'll find your brain scan?"

- I'm not a real doctor,
but I'm going with no.

- Okay, I'll find Billy.

You find my brain scan.

- Wait, no, Max, don't--

And he's gone again.

How am I gonna find
Max's brain scan

all by myself
in this giant hospital?

- This is Max Thunderman's
brain scan.

Dr. Miller will be
by for it shortly.

- Oh, I am good.

Time to nab me a brain scan.

Time to panic and hide in here.

- Dr. Chang, I presume.

- Huh?
- Your name tag.

- Oh, right, I'm Dr. Chang.

What do I look like,

some crazy teenager
who steals doctor clothes?

- No, you look like you're late.
Stand with the other interns.

So one of you
is going to perform

your first surgery today.

Who it's going to be?

- [coughing]
not Chang.

- Billy?

Billy?

- He's not in here.

- Billy, what are you doing?

We need your super-speed
to get my brain scan.

- I want us to get exposed.

Then Nora can't go
to that stupid school.

- What's the big deal if Nora
goes to a different school?

You know how many times
I've tried

to get Phoebe transferred
to another school?

- Yeah, but Nora's
my best friend.

You don't like Phoebe.

- Is that what you think?

- You guys fight all the time.

- We don't fight.

We bicker.

It's like arguing but cuter.

And it doesn't mean
that I don't care about her.

Phoebe and I will always
be there for each other

just like you and Nora will.

- Promise?

- Of course.

Sisters are for life.

- Thanks, Max.

- All right,
let's go get my brain scan.

Take the bucket off.

- Ta-da!

- Ahh, look at my little future
ambassador in her uniform.

- At these prices, that thing
should be made of gold.

- Nora, you'll start
Monday morning.

In the meantime,

we'll need you to choose
an after-school sport,

an after-school club,

and get a jump
on the three hours

of nightly homework.

- What?

When am I supposed
to play with Billy?

- I don't know who Billy is,

but you'll make new friends like

Celestina, Gloriana, and Sophia.

- Did you hear that, Nora?

You're gonna have a friend
named Sophia.

- Mom, Dad,
I don't want to go here.

- What?
Why not?

- Because there'll be no time
to play with Billy.

He's my best friend.

- Well, then why did you try
so hard to get accepted?

- I don't know.

That girl in the hall said
I'd never get in,

so I wanted to prove her wrong.

It was either that
or laser her face off.

- Made the right choice, honey.

- It's our fault, too, sweetie.

If your father and I
hadn't gotten so caught up

in what we wanted,

you wouldn't be here
in the first place.

- Hey, I just came
for the ice cream.

- So I can stay
at my old school?

- Of course.

- Oh, no, the check.

- What check?

[gasps]
The check.

- She'll never give it
back to us.

- Well, well, well, well,
what are we gonna do?

We have to think of something.
- I can't think.

I just paid thousands of dollars
for free ice cream.

- Dad, that's it.

Always be ready for dessert.

- I'm listening.

- All right, class,
Dr. Chang here

has kindly volunteered
to demonstrate

a surgical mole removal.

- Actually,
you dragged me up here

while I begged and pleaded
with you to choose someone else.

- And I ignored you.

This is your patient.

And this...

Is his mole.

- Sweet cheese, it's huge.

- And it's all yours.

Go crazy.

- Here comes the Dean.

- Ready, dearest ones?

BOTH: Ready.

- Mmm, best ice cream ever.

- It's so good.

- What are you doing?

- We thought we'd stick around
and celebrate,

Thunderman style!

[all cheer]

- Isn't this how
a Primridge girl eats?

- Hey, guys.

Help me make a sundae
inside my mouth!

BOTH: Okay!

- Here comes
Mr. Chocolate Sauce!

- And don't forget
the sprinkles.

- Oh.
- All right, that's it.

Stop it.

You're clearly not
Primridge material.

Please take your check
and get out.

- Merci beaucoup...
[speaking gibberish]

Which is French for,
"Thanks for the ice cream."

- All right,
removing a mole.

The first step
in removing a mole is

putting the patient at ease.

Hello.

- You know what
you're doing, right?

- [scoffs]
Of course.

I can do this
with my eyes closed.

And I plan to.

- Okay, next we take
the mole scoopy thingy

and we just--

We just get right in there
and start--

Just...

Look, I'm sorry.
I have a confession to make.

The truth is--

- The truth is,

she never does surgery
without me.

[glove snaps]
Ow.

- Max, I'm so glad you're here.

- Who's Max,
and why are we glad he's here?

- Dr. Max Krelman
of Krelman and Chang.

What's today's surgery,
Dr. Chang?

- Mole removal, Dr. Krelman.

- Mole removal, our specialty.

Sweet cheese, that's huge.

I got it.
Just distract them for me.

- So how about
that new foot clinic?

You know, speaking of feet,

a successful surgery starts
with a pair of well-tied shoes.

So everybody reach down

and make sure those shoes
are good and tied.

- Dr. Chang--
- This man has a mole.

Tie your shoes.

- You might want to turn away.

[breath whooshes]

Ding!

- Done.

- And there you have it.

No more mole.

[applause]

- You have been
a great audience.

She's Chang.
- And he's Krelman.

- And we're out of here.

BOTH: Good night.

[applause]

- Why are you clapping?

We don't even know
what happened.

- Oh, no, we're too late.

The doctor already
has your brain scan.

- Don't worry.
I got this.

[papers rustle]

- Billy, you did it.

And with a bucket on your butt.

- You're not upset
about Nora anymore?

- Of course not.

- Wow, obviously,
you got through to him.

And you saved me in there.

It's nice to know
you've got my back.

- Yeah, just like Max said,
sisters are for life.

See you at home.

- You said sisters are for life?

- Kid's all woozy
from the thumb pain,

doesn't know what
he's talking about.

- What took you guys so long?

I just heard Mom and Dad
pull up.

- Just act natural.

If they ask, we just had
a quiet afternoon at home.

- Hey, kids.

- We had a quiet afternoon
at home and acted natural.

- Okay.

- Nora, I just want to say
I'm really proud of you

for getting into that school.

I'll be just fine without you.

- I'm not going.

- Oh, thank goodness.

I'd be a mess without you.

- Thanks for babysitting,
you two.

- Oh, it was mole problem--

I mean, no problem.

- That was close.

- Guys, don't forget
we have to ice this tonight.

- Why is Billy's thumb giant?

- Phoebe, let's get out of here.

Phoebe?

So that's what it feels like.