01x19 - Up, Up, and Vacay!

[bunniefuu]

- The key to stumbly stacks
is concentration.

Now, everybody quiet...

While I--

- Mom!
Dad!

- [laughs, screams]

crash!

- Shh!

We're playing stumbly stacks.

- So you know
how you're always saying

you've never
had a real vacation?

- And you never got any time off
back in Metroburg

'cause of the whole
superhero thing?

- And you could never
really afford it

because of the whole
"dad's way too cheap" thing?

- It's true.

I made this game from
spare ceiling beams I found.

- But since you're retired now,

maybe it's time
we all went on a vacation.

- It would be nice to
get away together as a family,

have some fun,
make some lasting memories.

- I don't know.

"lasting memories"
sounds expensive.

- What if I told you there's
a way we can do it for free?

- We're gonna fly
on a giant bird?

- No, we can win a vacation.

- To a giant bird sanctuary?

- There's no giant bird.

- It's a school fundraiser.

Families compete
against each other

in a bunch
of different challenges.

It's the family faux-lympics.

- And whoever wins
gets a dream vacation

anywhere in the world.

Here.
Check it out.

- Well, that family
does look happy.

- And just think, mom,

that could be
our family vacation picture.

- Hey, how come that guy
gets to wear socks with sandals?

- Because that guy's
three years old.

- Look.

Winning will be easy
for a team of superheroes.

- We're not gonna cheat
and use our superpowers, Max.

- Totally agree...

Unless we're losing.

- What do you say, Hank?

- Come on, Dad,
it'll be so much fun.

We never go anywhere.
[all clamoring]

- I say...

Bring it in, team.

- Whoo-hoo!

ALL: Go, Thundermans!

[rumbling]

[loud crash]

- Spare ceiling beams?

- I'll go put these back.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe,
it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- Good run, everybody!

- I've never run that slow
in my life.

How do you people
live like this?

- You have to practice running
slower like normal people.

- Because that's what we are
in Hiddenville:

Normal people.

[metallic clanking]

Starting now.

- Get used to the slow life,
Billy.

Soon we'll be kicking back
on the beach

working on our thunder tans.

- Actually, I thought
we could use our vacation

to tour all the great castles
of Europe.

- No way.

A vacation is supposed to be
fun, not learny.

- Well, I don't want to go
to the beach.

Jellyfish are creepy.

- Tell me about it.

Is it a jelly?
Is it a fish?

Pick one, creep.

- Yeah, I have to say,

I'm with Phoebe and Nora
on this one.

A castle adventure for
the whole family could be fun.

- Oh, sure,
if you're Lord and Lady Boring.

- Ha, good one, Hank.

- Well, if we can't agree,

then we're gonna have to
take a vote.

- Who wants to go to
a beautiful tropical island?

- And who wants to go see
some majestic castles?

- Billy, you voted twice.

- Voting's fun.

- Billy, do you really want to
spend two weeks in castles?

Have you ever even been to one?

- Good point.

Be right back.

Zoom!

- I know Billy.

He's gonna love castles.

Zoom!

- Castles are lame.

- Looks like we got
one more vote for the beach.

- Then it's tied three to three.

Now what?

- Well, I have at least
a dozen ways we can solve this.

- No expl*sives or wild animals,
Max.

- I've got one way
we can solve this.

I hold in my hand
my latest invention:

The thunder ball.

- Thunder ball!

- I built it
to melt the polar ice caps,

but without plutonium,

it's just a fun children's game
that's gonna break our tie.

- Break our tie!

- Question.

Why is Billy dressed like a cat?

- Because Nora said
we were all dressing as cats.

- Sometimes it's just too easy.

- So, Max, go ahead.

Explain this game that you
probably rigged to get your way.

- Why is it so hard for you
to trust me?

- Because you can't go a day

without putting a "kick me" sign
on someone's back.

[paper rustling]

- [snorting]

classic.

Well, I promise,
the thunder ball is not rigged.

We just try to take the ball
from each other,

and whoever has it
when the timer goes off wins.

- Can we use our powers?

- Any means necessary.

Okay, you guys ready?

- Ready!

That was the last one.

- All right, everyone,

first off, let's all agree

that I look fantastic
in stripes.

- You look amazing.

- Thank you, Barbara.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Now, on go.

Ready.

Set.

Go!
Zoom!

- Billy out.

Zoom!
Smack!

Thud!

[groans]

Billy ow.

- Don't you mean "me-ow"?

- Come to Maxie.

- Lights out, Maxie.

- Huh?

Whoa!
Crash!

[groans]

When did we get a cactus?

- Phoebe, catch.

- [laughs]

got it!

- Not for long, pops!

[lasers zinging]

- Ow!

Daddy, my leg.

- Ooh, sweetie, I'm sorry.

Are you okay?

[alarm droning]

- I am now.

- [screams]

whoo-hoo!
- We win!

Castles, here we come.

- What?
You tricked me.

You played
the daddy's little girl card.

- Yeah, you cheated.

- Oh, come on.

You're just mad
because you didn't think of it.

- Yeah, but you didn't--I was--

Colosso, say something!

- She used his love against him!

Hilarious!

- And you did say
"win by any means."

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

GIRLS: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

GIRLS AND BILLY:
♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

GIRLS: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

- Ooh, check out
this castle in Germany.

It's got a working drawbridge
and an actual moat.

- Ooh, and they let you
eat with your hands

and sleep on a stone slab.

- Sounds like jail.

- Yeah, and European jail
is not fun.

So I hear.

- Fine.

Maybe we'll go to this castle...

Ooh!

Where we can dress as peasants

and pick our own potatoes.

- Why are you guys
even planning a trip

we haven't won for you yet?

- Excuse me?

You--haven't won for us?

- Yeah, we don't
need your help to win.

I think we already proved that.

- Yeah, proved you can cheat.

"oh, daddy, help me."

[feigns sobbing]

- So now,
because I love my daughter,

I got to see where the Duke of
I Don't Care took a bath.

- If you're just gonna whine
the whole time,

then don't come on our vacation.

- Yeah, or better yet,
don't be on our team.

- Oh, no.

You're throwing us
off team potato?

- Good luck winning without us.

- Oh, Hank, you are so immature.

- I know you are, but what am I?

- Good one, Hank-o.

- Let's get out of here
before they think of a comeback.

[kids giggle]

- I kind of feel bad.

The guys are gonna miss
such a fun day.

- Yeah, you're right.

We should send them a picture
to rub it in.

Everybody say "drawbridge!"

GIRLS: Drawbridge!

- Oh, come on.
Let's get signed in.

Hi.
Team Thunderman reporting.

- The Thundermans.

Already checked in.

- What--we just got here.

- Then who's that over there
taking a family selfie?

- Say "coconut!"

BOYS: Coconut!

- What are you guys doing here?

- Winning a trip to the beach.

Don't worry.
We signed you in too.

Check under "s"
For "secondplacemans."

- Very funny, Max.

- Oh!
There you are.

Secondplacemans.

Nora, Barb, and epic fail.

- Guess which one you are.
[chuckles]

- You're playing against us?

- You can't do that.

- What do you care?

You kicked us off your team.

- But, to be fair, when we win,

you're more than welcome to
join us in the Caribbean, Mon!

[laughs]

- Dad, I thought
we were going to Hawaii.

- We'll thunder ball that later.

- You know, when we win,
you can join us at the castles.

I'll even buy you
a little jester outfit.

- You're not gonna get me
in some flashy costume.

- You're a superhero.

- [inhales]

point Barb.

- How are we gonna have
a family vacation

if we're separated?

- I don't know.

But the real question is,

why aren't you wearing
your puppy suit?

- [gasps]

we were supposed to
wear puppy suits?

[groans]
- [chuckles]

- Good luck today, ladies.

'cause we're gonna be on fire.

- Fire!

Yeah, that's right.

It's back.

[mimics flames whooshing]

- I'm gonna crush you
out there today.

- Can't crush me
if you're already crushed.

Hey, do you want to gummy fish?

- Thanks!

- Welcome, families.

I'm Principal Bradford,

and thanks to your entry fees,

my office can finally get
the upgrades it sorely needs.

[chuckles]

Did I say "my office"?

I meant the library.

- You might want to stretch out

before we get started, there,
Hank.

- I'm good, honey.

I bent down to pick up a nickel
in the parking lot.

I'm already winning.

- Oops-a-doodle!

Looks like we got in the middle
of a family circle here.

Apologies, friend.

- Oh, no,
you didn't have to move.

We're actually
split into two teams.

- Double the teams,
double the family fun!

[laughter]

Paul Peterson.

This is my better half, Polly.

- I know, Paul and Polly.

Adorable.

And this is our son, Petey.

I guess you could call us
three Ps...

In a pod.

[laughter]

- [wheezing]

[inhaler hisses]

- We are so gonna see castles.
- We are so going to the beach.

- There are a total
of events today.

What?

!

- You know there's no shame
in giving up now.

- There is also no shame
in spinning around like a dog

trying to get a "kick me" sign
off your back.

- Hey, what?

[muttering quietly]

- I take it back.
A little bit of shame.

- And so the three families

with the most points
at the end of the day

come back for an obstacle course
tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Come on!

[applause]

The rules to this one
are simple:

the last wrestler in the ring
wins.

Any questions?

No?
Fantastic.

[air horn blows]

[cheers and applause]

Smack!

- Hey, I'm Billy,
the fighting marshmallow.

att*ck!

- Big mama's coming for you!

[growls]

[roars]

[dramatic music]

♪--♪

[both scream]

- Finish him!

- Barb, those are our children.

You win this, Billy,
or don't come home.

[both grunt]

Smack!
[both scream]

[air horn blows]

- It's a tie!

Wait!

Don't help them up.

[chuckles]

Look at the--

[laughing]

Stop it.

All right, get 'em out of here.

- Good luck b*ating me
in an eating contest, Barb.

Remember that all-you-can-eat
shrimp place

back in Metroburg?

- That place
went out of business.

- Exactly.

[laughs]

- Moms and dads,

you will all have to finish
a plate full of

chocolate covered bugs.

[all groaning]

- Whoa.

No one said anything
about eating bugs.

[air horn blows]

[cheers and applause]

- The eyeballs
have a nice snap to them.

- Mmm!

Stink beetles.

Like crunchy rotten cheese.

- [gags]
- Crunch!

- You know we started, right?

- Back off, Bradford.

Okay, Hank.

Oh, you can do this.

Crunch!
Oh, no!

Can't do it!

- Done!

[air horn blows]
- Winner!

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, ho-ho.
That's better.

- Hmm.
I think I have leg in my teeth.

- Not better.

Not better!

- Knock out ball.

The rules are...

Boring!

[air horn blows]

Smack!

Smack!

- [laughing]
Hi.

Smack!

- Pheebs, wait.

I shouldn't even be here.

You guys won thunder ball
fair and square,

and we're totally
being sore losers.

- [scoffs]
I'm not gonna fall for that.

- Don't believe me?

Take my ball.

Smack!
- Whoa!

- Any means necessary.

[laughs]
[air horn blows]

- Winner!

BOTH: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any ♪

- Now,
I know we're tied for first

and there's still
tomorrow's final,

but tonight, we don't compete.

We eat...

As a family.

Who's ready
for some of my famous

electric spaghetti?

[electricity sizzling]

[steam hisses]

- Let's not forget
my special thunder sauce.

[grunts]

- All right, I need you two
to set the table.

- Table setting race?

- You're on.

[plates whizzing]

Done!

Winner, winner,
spaghetti dinner.

- Ah, that's my boy!

- Now, Hank,
you know Max only won

because he used his powers.

- That's the only way
he could win.

- Just like the secondplacemans

to have a bunch of excuses.

- More like excusemans.

- Ooh!

- That's the way it's gonna be?

Fine.

Electrify your own spaghetti.

- Enjoy your dry noodles

without thunder sauce.

- Is dinner ready?

- Grab a straw.

We're taking the sauce
to the garage.

- Ooh.
- Mmm!

- Fine.
We don't need your sauce.

- That's right.

Our pasta's delicious
on its own.

- Isn't that hot?

- [coughs]
- Extremely.

- So I'm just gonna go for
a little pre-spaghetti stroll.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on there, Hunger Games.

Where are you going
with that bread?

- I always give Billy
my garlic bread.

I was afraid to tell you.

You know,
'cause you hate the boys.

- Oh, honey, we don't hate them.

- They're drinking their dinner
in the garage.

- Take 'em the bread.

- I think we just got schooled.

This competition was about
winning a family vacation,

not breaking our family apart.

- Yeah, I don't know
when competing became

more important
than going on vacation.

And I wouldn't want to go
anywhere without my hunky Hank.

- You thinking
what I'm thinking?

- That I probably
shouldn't have told you

I call your father hunky Hank?

- Yes, but...

Also we should just
let the boys win tomorrow,

and then we can all go
on a happy family vacation

like we were supposed to.

- You know, you're right.

I don't care
if we're at a beach or a castle,

as long as we're together
as a family.

And I can be back with
my cuddly wuddly thunder bear.

You want me to stop, don't you?

- Please.

- Welcome to the obstacon...

Where our
three remaining families

will compete
for a free vacation!

Because they're willing
to embarrass themselves

to save a few bucks.

- Oh, uh, Max,

you got a little something
in your hair.

Let me get it.

Oh, just a piece of loser.

- What happened
to letting them win?

- We can't let them know that.
It has to look good.

- Oh, yeah, you're right.
You're right.

- You're going down, Hank!

We're gonna crush you
like the worthless

good-for-nothing bottom feeder--

- Okay, mom,
I think they get it.

- My turn!
My turn!

Billy has imaginary friends!

- I do not!

I'm sorry, Walter.

We'll talk about this later.

- Since the top two teams
are tied,

they'll start at the same time.

The Petersons will start
seconds later.

- That's extra seconds
to hug my family.

- Teams ready.

THUNDERMANS: Ready!

[air horn blows]

- Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

- Slow down, girls.

Don't get too far ahead.

- Ahh!
It's got me!

- How did that even happen?

- It's the obstacon.

That's what it does.

- Losing this is gonna be
harder than we thought.

- Let's keep moving.

Can't make it obvious.

Come on, Nora.

We'll throw you over.

- What?

Ahh!

- [grunts]

- Whoa!
Thud!

- I'm coming over.

Whoa.
Thud!

- Ah, finally, something easy.

- Come on.
- Come on, dad.

[distant laughing]
Thud!

- [laughing maniacally]

- It's time
to take one for the team.

- Come on, come on, come on,
come on.

Hee!
Smack!

[cackles]

That's for stealing my weekend,
you little--

[yelps]
Smack!

Crash!
Thud!

[boys muttering indistinctly]

- Later, ladies.

[laughs]

Let's go.
- Go, go.

Go, go, go.

- Come on, guys,
you're almost there.

Win this.

- Okay, boys,

time to t*nk this thing.

Oh, no!

We are tangled.

- How does that even happen?

- How will we ever win?

- What are you guys doing?

- We got tangled,

and it looks like you guys
are gonna win this.

- No, no,
you're supposed to win this.

- Supposed to?

- What she means
is that you're gonna win

because we just...

Tripped.

- Whoa!
- Wait.

Are you guys letting us win?

- Dad, I thought
we were letting them win.

- You wanted us to win?

- Well, they did.

I wanted to crush you and send
a postcard from the beach.

- We should have been one team
all along.

We're a family.

- We thought so too.

We're sorry.

- So are we.

Besides, I would never
want to go on a vacation

without my Barbie boo!

KIDS: Eww.

[all groan]

Come on, Thundermans,
bring it in!

- Aww.
- [laughs]

- Mwah!

- You know what?

We should win this thing
as a family.

Beach or castle,
it doesn't matter,

as long as we're together.

- That's right.
- Absolutely.

- Okay, fantastic.
We all love each other.

Now look behind you.

- [laughs]
I can already feel

the Arctic winds
of our Alaskan cruise!

- Run!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- The bow counts!

In an ironic twist,

the secondplacemans win!

[cheers and applause]

- Well, if we didn't win,
at least that nice family did.

- Give it up, Paul.

- [laughing]
I can't believe it.

The Thundermans won as a family.

[whispers] And we did it
without using our superpowers.

[cheers and applause]

- So now that we're
a happy family again,

why don't we flip a coin
and see where we go on vacation?

- What are we, suckers?

My bow, my choice.

Castles, here we come!

GIRLS: Castles!

- All right.
Castles.

- Do the castles.
- It's a castle dance.

- Go, castles, go!

Who knew castles could be fun?

GIRLS: We did.

- All right, Thundermans,

quit your lollygagging.

Those potatoes
aren't gonna pick themselves.

- We'll be right there, sir.

Just let us take this picture.

- [grumbles]

- I'm so glad
I packed my peasant clothes.

- Okay, everybody,
Say "drawbridge!"

ALL: Drawbridge!